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95. The Purple Envelope · Your Enriched Self

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I recently heard this, and this is some of the best advice I've heard
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in a long time, and it's for anyone at any age. Don't try
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to be anyone else because when you do, nobody shows up. And I
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have to let that sink in for a minute, because if you try to
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be someone else in a room, you don't show up, and they aren't
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there to show up, so your authentic self is not present. And your
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authentic self needs to be ever present so that you can become more of your
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in rich self. The thing is, your authentic self is enough to make
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a living and to live your life. But so much of us have conformed
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to the world. And I love a scripture in the Bible that says,
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be not conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewal of your
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mind. And that's in Romans twelve and two. And what that tells me
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is our work. Your work is to do mind work. That's your work,
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because in order to transform your life, you have to transform your mind
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so that you can live that enrich life. The journey that I talk about
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each and every week, it is a journey of life, but it's also
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a journey of you taking control of your thoughts. And that's not always easy
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because when you are on this journey, you have to leave behind all the
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thoughts that have been manipulated and influenced by everything else in life that's going on
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out there, that has gone on out there, and the things of the
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future that everything around you is telling you needs to happen. This journey requires
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you to do mind work that means that you must be committed every day because
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you're going to be exposed to different things, different people, different circumstances.
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You need to be committed to filter out the things that don't serve you,
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the things that don't serve the direction that you are intended to go, the
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direction you desire to go, filter out the things that distract you. And
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that made me think about growing up. And my mother used to do a
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lot of baking. And my mother, you know, she baked bread from
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scratch right, And one of the things I noticed she would do as she
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was baking bread, and she would put the flower through a sifter. And
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sometimes that was my job, or my sister's job, or somebody whoever was
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her kitchen helper at the time. And I remember asking her, what's the
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purpose of sifting out the flower. It looked the same to me. And
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the purpose of doing that, of filtering that flower, that you're going to
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break out the lumps. And that's important because you want your whatever you're baking
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to have an area vibe to it, a lighter Maybe I'm saying it wrong
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for the bakers out there, but you wanted to have an area feel to
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it, and oftentimes if you didn't do it, the center of the whatever
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you're baking would sink. And also it was easier to sift that stuff out
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take out all the lumps, because it would be easier to mix that ingredient
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with another ingredient. And so I want you to think about your life as
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things that you are going to have to sift out. Yes, it looks
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like everything else, but there are things that you're going to have to filter
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out so that you can get that lighter area life. We walk around so
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heavy because we're carrying everything that comes our way, even the things that don't
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serve us. It's time to let those things go and show up as your
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authentic self, because your authentic self is enough. Hello, my friends from
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all across the globe, and welcome to the Your in rid Self Podcast.
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I am your host, Smiley Noir. I am a mindset coach and your
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mindset advocate and what that means in today's world. I know you're busy.
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I know it's busy, and I know we're coming up to the halfway mark
4:33
in the year, and I don't want you to be intimidated. You are
4:38
still in this thing and there is room for you to grow. There's room
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for you to show up and do the things that you said you would do.
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Now you are here to make and keep commitments with yourself. First.
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I know there are external things that you are committed to, but committing to
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yourself is one of the keys to your success because now you have self trust
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because every time you say yes and you do it for yourself, you have
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just put some trust into the bank of you. And that's an important thing
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to do. And that's what we do on this podcast. Listen, we
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are here to talk about mindset fusion topics because my job each and every week
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to facilitate these conversations is for you to walk away becoming more of your in
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rich self. So I want you to be intentional about your thinking, your
5:26
words, because we know your words inspire your actions and your actions are how
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you show up in your world every single day. And if you're listening to
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this podcast, I know you are here to become more of your invirich self
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and you want to show up as your best self in the world. And
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it starts with your mind. That's where everything starts. Everything starts in the
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mind. So if you're new to the podcast, welcome. I am so
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grateful you are here. If you are a returning listener, we are at
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week ninety five. We have been doing this for ninety five weeks. I
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want to thank each and every one of you for your listenership, for your
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partnership, because we are building a legacy. We are building the your in
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rid self legacy, the Yes legacy, because it's time for you to start
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saying yes to yourself, Yes to the things that are important to your life.
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Yes to the things that fulfill and enrich your life. Yes to filtering
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out the things that no longer fulfill your life. And that's what we do
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each and every week on the podcast. And so before we get started,
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I want to make sure I do what I do each and every week,
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which is to make a deposit in the bank of you. And I do
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so by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a great way to start your day
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and to command your morning. And this week's affirmation is I choose to stop
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apologizing for being me. I choose to stop apologizing for being me. I
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choose to stop apologizing for being me. Now let's get ready for this week's
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episode of the Your Enriched Self Podcast. I choose to stop apologizing for being
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me. I don't know about you, but that is a liberating statement and
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I want you to let that sink in. I want you to wear that
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affirmation every day. We need to stop apologizing for being ourselves. Like I
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said in the onset, it is so important for you to show up in
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whatever room you have decided you wanted to occupy, and not as anyone else,
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but as your self, as your enriched self. And so I am
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so grateful that we get to do this each week because it's so important for
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you to live this way, because when you live this way, you are
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literally filling up your life and enriching your life and becoming a better version of
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yourself. And I know that's why you're here. I'm excited about this week.
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This week's topic is near and there to my heart, this is graduation
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season. This is a milestone in my own life. So my daughter's graduating
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from high school and my second daughter, and I'm celebrating my twenty second wedding
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anniversary. I am excited to share this news with you. So it's just
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a season of celebration. And guess what, those things are happening on the
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same day. So it's a huge celebration happening here at the end of the
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week. And I am so grateful that twenty two years of living and loving
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and learning about each other and also in those years watching both my daughters and
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now my second daughter graduate from high school, it has been a pleasure.
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And so this week it's all about these lessons. And I started off this
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week talking about advice or something I heard recently which I think is great advice
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about showing up as yourself and not trying to emulate someone else because no one
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shows up in the end because you're not showing up as your authentic self.
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And I was inspired because there's a tradition at my daughter's high school called the
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Purple Envelopes. A wonderful tradition because it is a tradition where all of the
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high school seniors that are graduating receive envelopes with encouragement, advice, all of
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things you want to share and impart your wisdom in a letter form. It's
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a wonderful experience with the kids to get that level of and kind of deposit
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into their lives. And we need to fill our lives with with that kind
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of advice, that type of information and insight, because it only helps us
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to become better. And here's the thing, whatever you hear out there in
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the world, whatever you choose to read or watch, it's important to have
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a filter. I can't say that enough. I talked about that as well
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earlier, and I think that's something that you need to participate in every day
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because you're going to get information that you need and you're going to get information
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you don't, and it's important to know the difference and let those things go.
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And so this week, I'm inspired by the purple envelopes. I wanted
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to share some of the things that I shared with my daughter in her letter
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from me, and some additional things that I wish had been shared with me
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when I was her age. And I'm so grateful that I have these lessons
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to impart to her as I was thinking about this, and like I said,
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I really want you as a listener, get to a space in your
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mind where you're doing your mind work right to get to the goodness, to
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the abundance, and to stay in the direction on the path to achieve in
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your dreams. The thing is, in life, you're not going to be
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able to handpick the experiences and the circumstances you want to encounter. You may
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be able to pick those experiences and you may encounter but you're not always going
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to be able to handpick those But just like the baking exercise, you have
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the opportunity to filter out the things in the circumstances so that you can be
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left with what is going to benefit your life. And that's what I always
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say, Like, no matter if you're dealing with a good day, bad
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day, or whatever, there's some lesson in there. There's some part of
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the experience that is meant for you to know, to learn to be insightful
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about so that you can apply to the next thing in your life. And
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so that's kind of the first thing, right, no matter what the experience
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is in your life, do the work to understand what am I here to
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learn? And don't fall into the victim mode. Don't play into why me
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and why did this happen to me? Ask yourself, what is this here
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to teach me? Again? I wish I knew that because I played victimode.
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I'm not gonna lie I played victimode. I played the blame game because
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I wanted to blame everybody else and not look to the acknowledgement of my role
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in it and the accountability of what I did to participate or contribute to that.
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And so I want to make sure that you are there because the victim
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mode it gets us nothing. Trust me, I've played that role and it
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gets you nothing. No buying power, no staying power. All you do
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is you really lose your power in that process. The other thing is successful
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people stay in a place of intentionality and think about everything that you've been successful
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at. You've been intentional about, whether it's saving money or making money,
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or working out or losing weight or whatever, eating right. You had an
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intention about that particular thing, that particular outcome. So another lesson that is
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important to know is that thoughts create focus. Your thoughts create focus. And
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here is the thing that I want you to remember. Everyone has a focus.
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I know people say I'm not focused, I was unfocused. Oh you
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have a focus. You have a focus, and let me tell you what
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it is. This is a difference between success and people who are not successful.
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The successful people are intentional with their focus. Successful people are intentional with
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their focus. Think about the things you have been successful. Act You were
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likely intentional about the activity, the actions, the words, the language,
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everything about the outcome that you desired. You were intentional by way of acting,
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doing, thinking, and even how you showed up to the environment you
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were in intentional. The other side of focus is a focus where people are
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distracted. And I know that sounds oxymoron, but I promise you everyone has
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a focus. Successful people are intentional. People who are not successful or failing
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are distracted. I can relate to that because I've been focused in a direction
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of distraction and that has kept me back from achieving. It has kept me
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back from showing up, it has kept me back from doing so. The
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key here is to know that it doesn't matter what's happening. You have a
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focus, and you can choose to be intentional or you can fall in the
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way of distraction. Either way, you will be focused and it's important to
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think with intention another one, and I remember as a child. I don't
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know this resonated with me. I'm not sure if my mother said it to
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me, or if I got insight or downloads from the Lord. I don't
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know. I just always remembered it's portant to start with love. I don't
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know what project you have, I don't know what you're getting ready to embark
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upon, but I encourage you right now to start with love. I think
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about times when I had a project due or a paper due, and I
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was just frustrated. I started the interaction. I started the process being frustrated.
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How long is it going to take? How how many pages it is,
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the hours it would take the time I would need to invest to write
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the paper. I started with frustration. I started with angst. I started
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with anxiety. When we have the opportunity, and yes it is an opportunity,
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sometimes a challenging opportunity, but when you have an opportunity to get started
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on something, start with love. I don't care what you're starting, relationship,
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business, money management, health management, you have who start? You
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must start whatever interaction you have with love, And I really want you to
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think about the interactions or the things you've started outside of love. You started
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outside of love, and you literally stayed outside of the interaction. You stayed
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outside of the work. So it's important to start with love, and I
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would encourage you to start with self love. There's a video that I've watched
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on TikTok or Instagram, and it's of a little girl who is learning how
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to do things on her own. And one of the things that parents let
16:33
her do is make these mixed drinks. Right, they're not liquor drinks,
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but make these drinks. Put the ice in the cup, and put the
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milk in, and put in the beverage or whatever, and put in the
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straw and put the toppers and everything on top of it. And one of
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the things she does, it's really a messy exercise, and they let her
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do it. And I've seen video clips of her earlier stages learning how to
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fill up a cup and then now where it's not as messy as it used
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to be. But you know what, when I think about self love,
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I think about the messiness of filling up the cup till it's an overflow.
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And when you do your self love journey, I don't know where you are
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on that journey now. You should always be on that journey. Let's just
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start there. But I don't know where you are now, but I'm gonna
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encourage you. I wish I had the video clip. I wish I could
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play it right now for you. But you should see how this little girl
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just pours everything into the cup. And I want you to do that with
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yourself love. I want you to fill up that cup until it's an overflow,
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because I promise you you are not going to be ready, you're not
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going to be willing, and you're not going to be able to share love
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if you don't have it for yourself. You need to start with love while
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you're at it. Go ahead and surround yourself with things you love. And
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just like we talked about, and the onset of this, filter out the
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rest, This scarred the rest, Lay the rest to rest because you won't
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need it where you're going. And finally, most importantly about love, stop
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waiting for someone to love you. Love yourself. First. Love is a
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great energy. It is a fulfilling energy. And if you don't have it
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and you don't bring it, you're not going to attract it. So if
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you're trying to be loved. And you want to be loved, and you
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desire for love, you must first give it, show it, breathe it,
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and it will attract like attracts like my daughter, she loves hard,
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and I encourage her to keep the same energy of loving outside of you,
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to in you, loving you. That's an important part of your journey,
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is to love yourself. Also on the purple envelope, I filled it up,
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reminding her to step into her light. I want you to step into
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your light. Here's the beautiful thing about light. We were all born with
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light. When you left your mother's wound, you came into light. You
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were intended to carry your own light. One of the first songs I learned
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in church was this little light of mine, this little light of mind,
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I'm going to let it shine. I'm giving you permission, which you don't
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need permission from me. You have permission from your creator to let your light
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shine. And every day you must wake up with the intention to shine that
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light. And yes, the world, people, circumstances, experiences are going
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to be around, and some of those experiences and circumstances and people are going
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to want to dampen that light. They're going to strip it away from you.
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I'm going to courage you to step into the light. All you need
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is a tiny glimmer of light to change the scene of the room, to
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become the queen of your scene. You just need a little bit of light
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to step into that room and step into who you are. I don't care
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how many people try to take it. It's internal. So once you keep
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stepping, you're gonna step right into it. And never never dull your shine
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for anyone else. Trust me, there is enough light for all of us
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to shine. You don't have to dim your light for anyone else to shine.
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They're gonna shine regardless. They just have to recognize, like you must
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recognize that you bring it, you have it, and you must step into
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it. Another very important thing about success is that it comes with discomfort.
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Success is like a burrito, and inside of that burrito, you're going to
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take a bite into discomfort, and that's okay. When I started my run
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journey, my coach at the time encourage me to find running experience that would
21:15
bring discomfort. Discomfort would help me be successful when it counted. When I
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did race day or different excursions or experiences where I had to be outdoors,
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and I had to test my agility and test my mental fortitude in all of
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this because it is running out there. It really is physical. But the
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majority of it, ninety percent of it, I would hit, is your
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mind. And so she would challenge me on different things. And I remember
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the first time she made me start to take on the task of running hills,
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and she said to me before I started my run up that hill,
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she said, if it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you. And
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that's stuck out to me. If it's not challenging for you too, you
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it won't change you. Challenges are the birth canal to your change. So
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if you want change, you need to automatically. No challenge is going to
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come. Discomfort is gonna come. It's not gonna come package beautifully where you
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get to lay on your pillow while you lose weight. No, you're gonna
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have to get up and go to the gym. You're gonna have to get
22:27
in the kitchen and prepare the right foods. It's a balance. It's a
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beautiful balance of what you need and what you want and figuring out how those
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things can coexist, because they can. It doesn't always have to be needs,
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and it shouldn't definitely always be wants. It can be those things coexisting.
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And so that change that you're looking for, that transformation that you want,
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it's going to require you to take on that challenging opportunity. And the
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thing about it is if you allow yourself to do it, not only will
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you do it, you'll be very successful at it. And the success is
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not necessarily the outcome of the confetti falling like I talk about, it's the
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fact that you did it. You just deposited trust into the bank of you
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and you're telling yourself, listen, we made a commitment, we said we
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would and we did. That is priceless. You can't put dollars on that.
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The only thing about that is you have just set yourself up for a
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great change that is going to inspire your life and if you're blessed enough those
23:36
around you, because that's when we really make impact, is when we impact
23:41
not just ourselves but those in the world around us. Finally, you are
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enough. You are enough. I want you to say that right now.
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I am enough. I am enough. And one of the things I want
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you to know when you say that, I don't want you to think about
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the future. I'm gonna be enough when I got my degree. I'm gonna
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get be enough when I get the certificate. I'm gonna be enough when I
24:07
run my first five k I'm gonna be enough when I run my first marathon.
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No, you are enough now. You are enough now. Your flaws
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make you enough because there's something in that flaw that is unique about you that
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you can use that thing to go rescue someone who is challenged in that same
24:36
area. Because you've overcome it. You are enough now. It's part of
24:41
your design to be who you are. And that's why I said at the
24:47
beginning, it's so important to show up as yourself, because when you don't
24:52
know one is present, no one is in that room. I also want
24:56
you to know, when we think about our enough, think about your enoughness.
25:02
With mistakes, we all have them. I can run you a list
25:10
right here, right now, and then bring you another list next week and
25:12
next month, because the mistakes mount up, but that the mistakes don't define
25:18
me, they don't define who I am. Mistakes are intended for learnings.
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I like to call mistakes many lessons. Your many lesson plan has come to
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you and given you something that you can take away from that something you can
25:40
take away to come up with a new plan and rethink your new steps.
25:44
That's all mistakes are here for. Don't prioritize the mistakes over the person,
25:49
over yourself. The thing I like about mistakes and I want you to think
25:55
about mistakes as listen. If I make the mistakes, I have new action
26:00
steps that I can use to move forward. That's all mistakes are telling me
26:06
is now I know how to move forward differently, and I can get there
26:10
faster because I already know what to look out for. And it's important to
26:18
do that because if you don't, you spend time overthinking. And when you
26:22
overthink, you get stuck. And when you get stuck, you drown yourself
26:25
in your thoughts, and it's a cycle that creates a bunch of madness and
26:32
mess in your life. And nobody wants that. And that's a critical lesson
26:37
is that yes, you're going to make mistakes. Yes you're going to do
26:41
all that. And it doesn't matter where you are on your journey, it
26:45
doesn't matter how many mistakes you made. You are enough now, Yes,
26:49
getting the additional degree and certificate and doing the things and getting the accolades are
26:55
important. I'm not saying those things aren't important, but those things don't make
26:59
you enough. You are enough already. Those things are just added value to
27:03
who you are and who you're becoming. Finally, I heard this a few
27:11
years ago on the Oprah Show, and it says, the most important days
27:18
of your life are the day that you are born and the day you find
27:22
out why. I would venture to say there are three important days in your
27:30
life. The day you were born, the day you find out why,
27:37
and the day that you begin to execute your why and live in your purpose.
27:42
Your work is to go out into the world each day, find your
27:51
why, and live your purpose. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of
28:03
the Your in rid Self podcast. And the only way I'm going to know
28:07
this is if you leave me some feedback. Feedback is a gift. It
28:11
is free to give, and I'm accepting gifts all of twenty twenty three.
28:15
And here's how you give feedback. Go down to the platform in which you
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listen to this podcast, look and follow the stars. Look for and follow
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the stars, and go ahead and leave that five star rating. When you
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do that, you are giving other potential listeners a glimpse. You're giving them
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the access by way of algorithm to reach into this podcast and get the best
28:42
of what we got. Listen. They don't have to filter anything out here
28:48
to get the best of what we got. You just tune in each and
28:49
every week, and so go ahead and do that. Also, share this
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podcast with your friends and family. Go ahead, right now, where you're
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listening to this, you hit the share button and you can broadcast that by
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way of text messaging too your friends and family. Another way you can do
29:03
that is send it in your social scene, your social spaces. You can
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go ahead and tag me. Instagram is primarily where I am. Instagram is
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my jam. You can find me a mind richself that's M Y E N
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R C H D self And check out the show notes. Good details in
29:25
there, Affirmation of the week, and all ways you can get in contact
29:30
with me. If you know anyone who needs a mindset coach, have them
29:34
reach out to me. Details in the show notes. And finally, I
29:41
want you to do everything you can taking the information you received on this podcast
29:48
and do all that you must in the next one hundred and sixty eight hours
29:53
to become more of your enrichment until bea