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MONEY DIARIES: 3 jobs, 3 kids and she is GLOWING! · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and
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Speaker 1: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Rate islander people's
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Speaker 1: they're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and
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Speaker 1: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing
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Speaker 1: and for caring for the land on which we are
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Speaker 1: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,
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Speaker 1: and we share our friendship and our kindness.
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Speaker 2: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
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Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
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Speaker 3: shop back Money Diary Monday, where we get to chat
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Speaker 3: to a community member and learn about them and their
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Speaker 3: story and their money and all of the juicy details
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Speaker 3: in between. Victoria, how are you going?
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Speaker 1: Oh? Thanks for having me on your show, Jaz Oh,
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Speaker 1: You're welcome.
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Speaker 3: Thrilled to have you here. But this week I have
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Speaker 3: a really good story for you, so let.
1:08
Speaker 1: Me apprize just as the story is good again.
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Speaker 3: So our diarist wrote, hig She's on the Money. I
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Speaker 3: have three jobs, including my own small business teaching, and
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Speaker 3: have just started an assistant property valuer job. I do
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Speaker 3: this for three days a week and then relief teaching
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Speaker 3: two days while running my business at night. I go crazy.
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Speaker 3: I have three kids and I'm divorced from a relationship
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Speaker 3: that turned toxic. There was no debt in the breakup,
1:33
Speaker 3: as we both had a lot of savings. I also
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Speaker 3: have a mortgage and ten k in shares. Now that
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Speaker 3: I'm eighteen months into a new relationship, I want to
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Speaker 3: know how to best protect my assets.
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Speaker 1: Girl, why are you asking us we need advice for
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Speaker 1: you around finance. Welcome to the show. Thank you for
1:49
Speaker 1: wanting to share your story with us.
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Speaker 4: Thanks for having me.
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Speaker 1: Oh my god, three jobs, including your own business. Three bambanies.
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Speaker 1: You've booted the toxic relationship and you are glowing up.
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Speaker 1: I love this. I want to know so much more.
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Speaker 1: So let's start from the beginning. Moneyed Diris, can you
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Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about your money story?
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Speaker 4: So I suppose I started working my first job when
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Speaker 4: I was fourteen, went to UNI straight out of high school,
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Speaker 4: have been a teacher for the last twelve years. Realized
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Speaker 4: I didn't want to teach forever, so I studied UNI
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Speaker 4: at the same time. I'm a Bachelor of Property, had
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Speaker 4: a handful of investment properties over the years just to
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Speaker 4: like in my marriage, and then sold all them off. Recently,
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Speaker 4: I took lee from teaching last year and will my
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Speaker 4: kids were little babies, I started my own business. I
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Speaker 4: like to be busy, and I think I just needed
2:43
Speaker 4: that mental stimulation. So started hand sewing things from my
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Speaker 4: house when they're asleep. And now I have a little
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Speaker 4: factory in India that I sent my designs and things
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Speaker 4: to and they shipped me and I ship out of
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Speaker 4: my house.
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Speaker 1: Oh my god, what?
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Speaker 4: How cool? Yeah? Yeah, it's nice. It's only me, so
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Speaker 4: I don't have I've never had anyone else working for me.
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Speaker 4: It's really nice knowing that you get out exactly what
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Speaker 4: you put in and no one else benefits other than you.
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Speaker 4: But then, being a single mom, I needed that stability
3:14
Speaker 4: of a job. So I had to go back to
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Speaker 4: permanent teaching to get my mortgage. And so now I
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Speaker 4: just do it at nighttime.
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Speaker 1: How cool? Oh my gosh. And you're doing property valuing
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Speaker 1: three days a week now.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's just as of this year I took
3:30
Speaker 4: leave from teaching, I'm doing that three days a week.
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Speaker 4: But given it a graduate position, the pay isn't fantastic.
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Speaker 4: So I've done that part time so I can then
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Speaker 4: pick up relief teaching on the other days just to
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Speaker 4: increase my pay.
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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, a hustler. I love this.
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Speaker 4: I suppose if I don't get money, it's the roof
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Speaker 4: over my kid's head, isn't it. So you don't have
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Speaker 4: a choice for a nearly a only name with the mortgage.
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Speaker 1: Look totally, but I don't think that there are all
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Speaker 1: that many single moms out there that are like, Okay, cool,
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Speaker 1: I'm going to maintain my small business. I'm going to,
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Speaker 1: you know, start this career for me, even though it's
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Speaker 1: a lesser pay, I'm going to supplement that by doing teaching.
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Speaker 1: I just feel like you aren't giving yourself enough credit,
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Speaker 1: my friend, like so many people would have just been like,
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Speaker 1: teaching is a really stable job, Like that's a great career,
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Speaker 1: that's got great income if you work full time. But
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Speaker 1: you've put yourself first. I think that's really impressive, Like
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Speaker 1: credit to you. You're right, it's a roof over your kids' heads,
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Speaker 1: but it's not.
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Speaker 4: It's not just that though, is a Yeah, Well, I
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Speaker 4: suppose I'm only I'm mid thirty, so I do want
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Speaker 4: to be teaching for the next thirty years.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that for you. So let's get into
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Speaker 1: the nitty gritty of it. What officially do you do
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Speaker 1: for a work and how much do you earn for
4:45
Speaker 1: each of those jobs?
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Speaker 4: So a properly like an assistant property valuer. Because I'm
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Speaker 4: not yet finished my degree, I've got two more courses
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Speaker 4: somewhere around fifty grand a year. That's full time. Sorry,
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Speaker 4: A senior teacher is on maybe around ninety five a
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Speaker 4: year full time. Yeah, so it was literally half the
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Speaker 4: pay cut. And then really work's about the same as
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Speaker 4: in seeingior teacher.
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Speaker 1: So are you doing that fifty thousand dollars a year
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Speaker 1: job pro rata? So you're only doing three days a
5:14
Speaker 1: week over so you're getting Yeah, so you're getting less
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Speaker 1: than the fifty grand and you're supplementing that with like
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Speaker 1: a teacher salary for the other two days. And then
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Speaker 1: what are you earning out of your small business? Like
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Speaker 1: how much does that end up supporting you?
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Speaker 4: Well, I don't rely on that at all to support me.
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Speaker 4: I never kind of have. I've always just pumped the
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Speaker 4: money back into the business in the sense that my
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Speaker 4: first order from the factory. Obviously you need like that
5:41
Speaker 4: decent amount of money to do a bug order. So
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Speaker 4: it was only ever my time that went into the business,
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Speaker 4: and I just kept putting the money back into the
5:50
Speaker 4: business to enable it to grow. So I still don't
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Speaker 4: rely on it at all to support me. Really, it
5:56
Speaker 4: just kind of sits there.
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Speaker 1: And bomps along on its own and does its own thing,
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Speaker 1: and one day you're hoping it to be profitable or
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Speaker 1: is it one of those things that you're like, no,
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Speaker 1: it's kind of like a hobby. I don't intend to
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Speaker 1: have an income from it, or like, what's the point
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Speaker 1: in the long term?
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Speaker 4: I would love it to be profitable, Like initially the
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Speaker 4: goal was so that I could stay when I was married,
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Speaker 4: so that I could stay home and do you know,
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Speaker 4: work from home and work the hours that I choose.
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Speaker 4: But being a small business owner trying to get homelands
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Speaker 4: and things, so I suppose I don't have the time
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Speaker 4: these days to put into it what it needs to
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Speaker 4: be super profitable. So at the moment it's just running
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Speaker 4: along in the background because it was my little passion
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Speaker 4: project that I could never sell or give up or
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Speaker 4: and maybe one day or have enough time to put
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Speaker 4: some more time inefity to it.
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Speaker 1: I suppose I love that. That's so sweet. I want
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Speaker 1: to know now about your goals. Tell me what are
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Speaker 1: your big money goals.
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Speaker 4: I'd love to pay off my mortgage eventually. I would
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Speaker 4: probably like to either move sometime over the next maybe
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Speaker 4: five or ten years, or bidl vestment property or something.
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Speaker 4: And they just keep building up my shares so have
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Speaker 4: a little passive income there. And in the long run,
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Speaker 4: I only want to work three days a week, especially
7:09
Speaker 4: while the kids are still at school. Like the working
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Speaker 4: five days a week is rough.
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Speaker 1: And how old are your kids to be pervy? What
7:16
Speaker 1: are we looking at?
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Speaker 4: They're eight, seven and five, so they're small sense, yes,
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Speaker 4: so my baby just started school this year.
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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so sweet. So before you said you
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Speaker 1: have some shares and that's one of your big money goals,
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Speaker 1: talk to me about the investments you have made and
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Speaker 1: what that looks like.
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Speaker 4: So for my eighteenth birthday, my dad was like, what
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Speaker 4: to do on for your birthday? And I was like,
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Speaker 4: just a thousand Hollis to buy some shares. So, being eighteen,
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Speaker 4: I just bought some bank shares because they were safe.
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Speaker 4: So they've kind of obviously grown well over the last
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Speaker 4: fifteen years or something. And now I have some like
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Speaker 4: exchange trained funds, like they're my safety little shares, and
8:00
Speaker 4: I've just and then random other little ones that I
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Speaker 4: think will be fine, and I've just at it. In
8:06
Speaker 4: my super fun I've put some money in my self
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Speaker 4: managed not a super fund, but the investor. Oh yeah,
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Speaker 4: you can choose your own shares.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, so the segment of your super fund where you
8:19
Speaker 1: can control it. Yes, yes, then.
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Speaker 4: You seen do twenty five percent of it or something.
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Speaker 4: You can't do that with your whole super.
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Speaker 1: No, you can't. But it's cool that nowadays you have
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Speaker 1: the ability to kind of control it and watch it.
8:30
Speaker 1: I feel like it engages you a lot more and
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Speaker 1: you feel a little bit more in control, which is
8:34
Speaker 1: very cool.
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Speaker 4: Yeah. And I think given my age too, and that's lucky.
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Speaker 4: I suppose in my job that like my super has
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Speaker 4: always been good.
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Speaker 1: As a teacher, yeah, apic. So take me back to
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Speaker 1: when you were eighteen for a hot minute. I'm sorry,
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Speaker 1: I just want to know how at eighteen were you like,
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Speaker 1: you know what, on a thousand dollars for some shares
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Speaker 1: and I'm going to buy some bank shares because they're
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Speaker 1: pretty safe. Like, how did you know that? Where did
9:02
Speaker 1: that information come from? I don't know, to be fair,
9:07
Speaker 1: you were like, I was just listening to ABC Radio
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Speaker 1: one morning.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, I made by Google all the time, like the
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Speaker 4: safest shares to buy, and I just picked one from
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Speaker 4: the top five or something, and like because of the
9:19
Speaker 4: bank shares were in the top five. I remember at
9:21
Speaker 4: the time common off bank shares with thirty dollars and
9:24
Speaker 4: I was like yeah, and I was like, they're too expensive.
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Speaker 4: I'm not buying them. And they've now hit over one
9:29
Speaker 4: hundred dollars or something.
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Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, I wish i'd bought them.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, do your family invest? Is that how you kind
9:37
Speaker 3: of knew? Were their conversations you'd had before?
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Speaker 4: No, my family, my dad owns his own little small business,
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Speaker 4: So maybe it's seeing the other end of that that
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Speaker 4: at his age, he doesn't have super yeap and he
9:48
Speaker 4: doesn't have that kind of backing behind him. And my
9:51
Speaker 4: mom just worked for the small business, which I suppose
9:56
Speaker 4: makes me want that lifestyle of she was always there
9:58
Speaker 4: for our school stuff because she could just leave work
10:00
Speaker 4: whenever she wanted. Yeah.
10:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, cool. I love finding out I guess the needy,
10:05
Speaker 1: greedy of people's lives, like, oh, how did you get
10:07
Speaker 1: to that? And what was your thought process? And like
10:09
Speaker 1: then you find out that your mum worked in a
10:11
Speaker 1: small visit and you're like, that makes so much sense
10:13
Speaker 1: as to why you would have seen that lifestyle and
10:15
Speaker 1: then had an aspiration to have something similar. So it
10:19
Speaker 1: just makes sense. But I'm so impressed that young you
10:23
Speaker 1: was like, I want shares. I don't know anything about them.
10:25
Speaker 1: I also have never had anybody role model that to me,
10:28
Speaker 1: but we're going to do it. I love that for you.
10:31
Speaker 1: How good last money darist was looking after future money
10:34
Speaker 1: darrest with that one.
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Speaker 4: Yeah. And the thing is, I don't think I could
10:39
Speaker 4: ever retire And people are like, do you want to
10:41
Speaker 4: retire earlier? I'm like, no, I'd probably like go crazy.
10:44
Speaker 4: It's not I suppose I want the option to work,
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Speaker 4: not that I want to chill out from the time
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Speaker 4: I'm fifty.
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Speaker 1: I feel like that's the difference these days about mentality though,
10:54
Speaker 1: So we look at retirement as an age where you
10:58
Speaker 1: give up your job and you go, all right, well,
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Speaker 1: I'm going to go on gardening leave now igarden, I
11:03
Speaker 1: go to the cafe and walk my dog. And from
11:06
Speaker 1: my perspective, retirement's not so much, you know, an age
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Speaker 1: or like an outcome. It's more a financial position where
11:14
Speaker 1: you're in a position of financial freedom where you could
11:17
Speaker 1: stop work tomorrow if you wanted to, but if you
11:20
Speaker 1: don't want to stop work, you can keep working because
11:22
Speaker 1: that's going to be me Like, I can't imagine someone saying, Victoria,
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Speaker 1: you're not going to have a job, like you won't
11:28
Speaker 1: have to go to work anymore, And I go, Yeah,
11:29
Speaker 1: that's the dream.
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Speaker 3: I don't want that.
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Speaker 1: I want the ability to choose that if I choose that,
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Speaker 1: But I don't want to stop working because I love working.
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Speaker 1: I love being a part of a team, I love
11:39
Speaker 1: building stuff. I feel like my brain just wouldn't deal well.
11:42
Speaker 1: So I totally get where you're coming from with that.
11:45
Speaker 1: Next question is money, Diarist, Do you have any debt?
11:50
Speaker 4: My mortgage?
11:51
Speaker 1: And what does that look like?
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Speaker 4: So I have about a four hundred thousand dollar.
11:55
Speaker 1: Mortgage, So four hundred thousand dollars mortgage? When did you
11:59
Speaker 1: get it? And is that how much the property that
12:01
Speaker 1: you own is worth?
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Speaker 4: No, it's probably, I'm not sure, maybe around six hundred
12:07
Speaker 4: thousand you're in a small town, so like the market
12:10
Speaker 4: didn't go crazy like where you guys are. I'm sure,
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Speaker 4: and that was maybe a year ago. I got that.
12:16
Speaker 1: How exciting.
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Speaker 4: Yes, it was very exciting. It's very exciting knowing something
12:22
Speaker 4: is only yours.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's yours and it's nobody else's. I love that,
12:26
Speaker 1: all right, money Di's next question on our hit list
12:29
Speaker 1: is do you use shot back?
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Speaker 4: I really do?
12:33
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you actually I like it. I love
12:36
Speaker 1: that You're like, I really do.
12:37
Speaker 4: Last week's my sister, everyone and I've heard you say before.
12:41
Speaker 4: We just love to know. And I was telling my
12:43
Speaker 4: girlfriend about it yesterday and she was like, oh, it
12:46
Speaker 4: just sounds like an excuse online shop and I'm like, yeah,
12:48
Speaker 4: I think I've got like forty dollars in my account
12:51
Speaker 4: at the moment, only in two or three dollar a little,
12:53
Speaker 4: but as up, doesn't it It's genius.
12:57
Speaker 1: I have been and I've said this on the show before,
12:59
Speaker 1: so sorry if you listen to all the shows and
13:01
Speaker 1: you've heard this, but I've been adding mine up so
13:03
Speaker 1: that I can use it at Christmas time on all
13:06
Speaker 1: the groceries because I feel like that's the area that
13:08
Speaker 1: I always end up blowing out on because I end
13:10
Speaker 1: up going, Oh, well, groceries. That's fine. I have a
13:13
Speaker 1: grocery budget. I never allocate it. So I'm going to
13:15
Speaker 1: pull it out at Christmas time and then use that
13:17
Speaker 1: towards a Christmas budget because I feel like that's going
13:19
Speaker 1: to be I don't know, I feel like it's just
13:21
Speaker 1: the most useful there.
13:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, nice extra funds.
13:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's very helpful.
13:25
Speaker 4: Yeah.
13:26
Speaker 1: Next question, money diarist, what's your best money habit. I
13:30
Speaker 1: feel like you probably have a couple of these for us.
13:33
Speaker 4: Any extra money, unaccounted for money, as in random little
13:37
Speaker 4: bits that I come across, I put.
13:38
Speaker 1: Straight into my mortgage epic.
13:40
Speaker 4: I also pay at so the interest rates came down
13:44
Speaker 4: over the last year whatever, I'm still paying the maximum
13:48
Speaker 4: interest rate that I had initially, So I think it's
13:49
Speaker 4: an extra eighty dollars a week or something. And just
13:52
Speaker 4: so I know now that if.
13:53
Speaker 1: Interest rates rise, you're comfy.
13:56
Speaker 4: I'm comfy and I have that's its force savings effectively.
14:00
Speaker 4: But that's my goal at the moment, is my mortgage.
14:03
Speaker 4: But also have really bad money habits.
14:05
Speaker 1: Tell us about those. That's literally the next question. Spill
14:08
Speaker 1: the beans.
14:08
Speaker 4: My friend I like, can I take away coffees, which
14:11
Speaker 4: I'm trying really hard to stop because I'm well aware
14:14
Speaker 4: of the money going down the drain. And I like
14:18
Speaker 4: expensive clothes. But in saying that, I feel like I
14:21
Speaker 4: don't buy many things. I just buy expensive things, so
14:24
Speaker 4: it kind of evens out in the long run.
14:26
Speaker 1: I tell myself that often too, don't.
14:28
Speaker 4: Worry, and then they resell so much better they actually
14:32
Speaker 4: do than in a year's time. It's like you're making money.
14:36
Speaker 1: You're a woman after Jess is hard because Jess literally
14:39
Speaker 1: there was this dress you wanted recently and you were like, okay,
14:43
Speaker 1: so if I buy it, I can resell it for
14:45
Speaker 1: this And I was like, you, you're on the money?
14:47
Speaker 1: Are you thinking about it?
14:49
Speaker 4: Like? Was it? I'm the same.
14:52
Speaker 1: I love that. Oh my gosh. All right, well, I've
14:55
Speaker 1: got a fair few questions for you after the break,
14:57
Speaker 1: but I want to know before we get there, what
14:59
Speaker 1: grade would you give your money, habits if we forced
15:01
Speaker 1: you to give yourself a grade? Maybe seven, A seven
15:04
Speaker 1: out of ten, seven out of fifty. Where we sitting
15:07
Speaker 1: my friend?
15:08
Speaker 4: Seven out of ten? Sorry?
15:10
Speaker 1: Why?
15:11
Speaker 4: Because I think I'm okay? I think I know things.
15:13
Speaker 4: Sometimes I don't actively implement them, as in, I still
15:16
Speaker 4: have really bad money habits sometimes my takeaway copye, my
15:20
Speaker 4: expensive clothes and things. I do also love a good holiday,
15:23
Speaker 4: but I'm also i think, aware of how to make
15:29
Speaker 4: the most of my money.
15:30
Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, fair, Fair, let's have a chat about all
15:34
Speaker 1: of this right after this quick.
15:35
Speaker 3: Break al Right it money, Doris? I want to know
15:43
Speaker 3: you mentioned in your little write in to us that
15:45
Speaker 3: there was no debt in your breakup because you both
15:48
Speaker 3: had a lot of savings, which I feel like is
15:49
Speaker 3: a great position to have been in.
15:51
Speaker 1: Such a good place to be when you're like, all right,
15:54
Speaker 1: this relationship isn't working out, let's split. Like how many
15:57
Speaker 1: couples can say they have positive income? Yeah? How did
16:01
Speaker 1: that work?
16:01
Speaker 3: Did you both just kind of go Okay, well I've
16:05
Speaker 3: got my own savings account and you've got your own
16:07
Speaker 3: savings account. We're just gonna go our separate ways.
16:10
Speaker 4: No, everything was joined, yep, and then we had things
16:13
Speaker 4: to sell effectively. Yeah, so then in it we just
16:16
Speaker 4: sold everything that we had, which meant that we both
16:20
Speaker 4: had cash, I suppose. Yeah, so we cleared all out.
16:24
Speaker 3: Incredible, And is that why you're now thinking about protecting
16:27
Speaker 3: your assets from partners in the future. Did you just
16:30
Speaker 3: find that process kind of challenging or is it just
16:33
Speaker 3: now you're kind of forward thinking, you know, should you
16:35
Speaker 3: find yourself in a situation like that again that you
16:38
Speaker 3: want to be a bit more prepared.
16:40
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I suppose being a bit older now as well,
16:42
Speaker 4: like I was.
16:43
Speaker 1: Nineteen, Oh you're a baby.
16:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, So like we both had nothing, so it was fine,
16:48
Speaker 4: we didn't have to consider these things. But just being
16:52
Speaker 4: a bit older and both of us having things, and
16:55
Speaker 4: again like now I have three of the little people
16:57
Speaker 4: that I have to consider at the same time, it's
16:59
Speaker 4: not just protecting myself, So just the best way to
17:04
Speaker 4: go about that, I suppose.
17:06
Speaker 1: I find that such an interesting question, and I will
17:08
Speaker 1: address it in just a second. But I find it's
17:10
Speaker 1: such an interesting question because people who are in relationships
17:14
Speaker 1: in there eighteen I still think that they should be
17:17
Speaker 1: considering these things, because Jess said on a recent podcast,
17:22
Speaker 1: you prepare for the worst, but you expect the best.
17:25
Speaker 1: And I don't even think it's necessarily about going, Okay,
17:28
Speaker 1: let's sit down and have a binding financial agreement because
17:30
Speaker 1: money dirist. You're right, like you probably started that relationship
17:33
Speaker 1: with nothing. You probably just came out of home and
17:35
Speaker 1: you're like, let's get married, Like this is so sweet
17:38
Speaker 1: and that's such a romantic story. But at the same time,
17:41
Speaker 1: I think if you're in that situation, no, you don't
17:44
Speaker 1: really have to be thinking about binding financial agreements. But
17:46
Speaker 1: I think that women, particularly because we're the ones that
17:49
Speaker 1: always end up suffering the most from breakups. I'm not
17:51
Speaker 1: saying that men don't. I'm not saying that you know,
17:54
Speaker 1: there aren't people with that situation hasn't happened to them
17:57
Speaker 1: because of their gender. But I feel like women are
17:58
Speaker 1: always on the back floor because they lack financial literacy.
18:03
Speaker 1: And I think that regardless of your situation, even if
18:06
Speaker 1: you don't need it, you need to know what that
18:08
Speaker 1: looks like and know, okay, cool, these are my values,
18:11
Speaker 1: and this is what banking is, and this is how
18:13
Speaker 1: to make you know a payment and this is where
18:15
Speaker 1: our bills are. And even if you aren't in charge
18:18
Speaker 1: of the budget, understanding the budget in your relationship is
18:21
Speaker 1: so important and making sure that everything's equal. Someone might,
18:25
Speaker 1: you know, wear the pants in the relationship and pay
18:27
Speaker 1: all the bills, but that doesn't mean you should just
18:29
Speaker 1: bury your head in the sand and not know how to.
18:33
Speaker 1: I think it's a very different situation. But when it
18:36
Speaker 1: comes to starting to protect yourself, it's about putting yourself
18:39
Speaker 1: in a situation where you're protecting your assets, especially because
18:43
Speaker 1: you have those three little people. And I think it's
18:46
Speaker 1: about setting boundaries and thinking about things like binding financial
18:49
Speaker 1: agreements for next relationships. I don't know if it's necessary
18:53
Speaker 1: to go down the route of having trusts set up,
18:56
Speaker 1: but you could always think about a trust being set
18:59
Speaker 1: up sets sit in that. But it is an expensive
19:02
Speaker 1: way of going about it. But I'd be really careful
19:05
Speaker 1: of the relationships that you form, not saying, oh my gosh,
19:08
Speaker 1: the relationship's bad, but about the boundaries in that relationship.
19:12
Speaker 1: So what does it look like, how often are they
19:14
Speaker 1: staying over, what are the expectations financially from both sites?
19:18
Speaker 1: And we recently did a really good episode with Georgia
19:21
Speaker 1: and I where we talked about what happens when your
19:23
Speaker 1: partner has kids and they're not your children, how do
19:27
Speaker 1: you pay for them? At what point do you bring
19:28
Speaker 1: up shared expenses. I think it's being really conscious of
19:32
Speaker 1: these expenses and drawing the line in the sand. Thankfully,
19:35
Speaker 1: you mentioned that you got a house and then a partner,
19:38
Speaker 1: so you would have had pre marital assets, so assets
19:41
Speaker 1: that pre date the relationships starting, which is quite important
19:45
Speaker 1: in I guess the eyes of the law. But at
19:47
Speaker 1: the end of the day, it really depends on what
19:49
Speaker 1: that relationship looks like into the future and whether you're
19:52
Speaker 1: planning a big future with them or you're planning to,
19:55
Speaker 1: you know, just date casually for a while. I have
19:58
Speaker 1: no idea what that looks like for you, my friend,
20:00
Speaker 1: So talk to me about how you would want to
20:02
Speaker 1: protect your assets having gone through that situation.
20:05
Speaker 4: Well, I think that's the hardest thing about it, isn't it.
20:08
Speaker 4: Because when you're in a relationship and you're at that
20:10
Speaker 4: point with someone, you're like, oh, I love you, this
20:12
Speaker 4: will never end, and let's do all these things together
20:15
Speaker 4: and buy these things together and do what I mean,
20:18
Speaker 4: like yeah, totally glasses on. But then you have your
20:22
Speaker 4: good friend in the yather ea saying, oh, you never
20:25
Speaker 4: thought X would be like this, but.
20:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it must be heartbreaking being like, that's not
20:31
Speaker 1: the person I knew, That's not the person I trusted
20:34
Speaker 1: to make those decisions, Like, I'm not going to put
20:36
Speaker 1: myself in a position where I, you know, have children
20:40
Speaker 1: with somebody that I don't trust and see a future with, right, Like,
20:43
Speaker 1: you don't go let's have a baby and then break up, Yeah, Jess, like,
20:46
Speaker 1: let's go do no one does. Yeah, you always expect
20:49
Speaker 1: the best, but I think, as Es was saying, you
20:52
Speaker 1: need to also prepare for the worst and always know,
20:55
Speaker 1: all right, well, if this didn't work out, this is
20:57
Speaker 1: the backup plan. Would you say in your last relationship
21:00
Speaker 1: you just didn't have that and you just had to
21:02
Speaker 1: deal with it as the blows came as you actually
21:04
Speaker 1: just structure yourself and you're like, well, let's sell this stuff.
21:07
Speaker 1: I guess that's the next logical step.
21:10
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm very much a jump and the net
21:13
Speaker 4: will appear kind of person as well. So I was
21:15
Speaker 4: just like, all right, this has happened, Like let's just
21:18
Speaker 4: do this. But when you're nineteen, you don't go into
21:22
Speaker 4: relationship thinking that in the plan.
21:24
Speaker 1: Of course you're thirties, and you know what if you're
21:28
Speaker 1: nineteen as well. I really doubt if I had turned
21:30
Speaker 1: around and said, money, do I sit down, let's have
21:32
Speaker 1: a chat about what if this doesn't work out, You'd
21:34
Speaker 1: be like, excuse me, we're in love. We're in love forever,
21:37
Speaker 1: and I don't need your help. Like nobody at the
21:40
Speaker 1: age of nineteen wants financial advice when it comes to
21:43
Speaker 1: that kind of thing, because you go, no, this is true,
21:46
Speaker 1: you've never felt this, like Victoria, you might not be
21:49
Speaker 1: in love with your partner as much as I am, Like,
21:51
Speaker 1: I totally get that. As somebody who has had a
21:53
Speaker 1: long term relationship before my current partner, Steve, I didn't
21:57
Speaker 1: know that was going to end, and then it did,
21:59
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, what is has This is
22:01
Speaker 1: shocking for everybody involved. But I think it's such an
22:04
Speaker 1: important thing to put your own financial literacy first, because
22:08
Speaker 1: what's the worst thing that could happen if you're educated,
22:11
Speaker 1: what's the worst thing that could happen? If you know
22:13
Speaker 1: your rights and you know that you can have a
22:15
Speaker 1: binding financial agreement and you know you can have all
22:17
Speaker 1: these things structured. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to
22:20
Speaker 1: do anything or put a binding financial agreement in front
22:23
Speaker 1: of a guy once he starts sleeping over. I think
22:26
Speaker 1: it's more about going, all right, well, these are my things,
22:28
Speaker 1: those are your things, And it's about the open, honest
22:31
Speaker 1: conversation that you have throughout that you know, the beginning
22:34
Speaker 1: parts of that relationship.
22:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to ask you about how are you
22:38
Speaker 3: looking after yourself? Because being a mum could be a
22:42
Speaker 3: full time job in and of itself, and then on
22:44
Speaker 3: top of that you are working full time across two
22:46
Speaker 3: different jobs and drunning a business. I don't know how
22:49
Speaker 3: you have enough hours in a day.
22:51
Speaker 4: Frank Yeah, I don't sleep. Yeah, no, I go to
22:55
Speaker 4: bed when my kids go to bed. Some days it's
22:57
Speaker 4: seven o'clock. Oh my gosh.
23:00
Speaker 1: I feel like that's smart. That is a smart mum.
23:03
Speaker 4: Win.
23:03
Speaker 3: You've got to look after yourself.
23:04
Speaker 4: I'm a morning person, so when it's busy, I'll get
23:07
Speaker 4: up at four and get a good two or three
23:09
Speaker 4: hours in before the house waits.
23:11
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh my goodness. I could simply never.
23:14
Speaker 1: Mum's super honestly, like you've got you give birth and
23:18
Speaker 1: you've got superpowers. It's just it's like magic.
23:22
Speaker 3: How do you go about prioritizing because you've got your
23:24
Speaker 3: own small bees on top of you know, kids need
23:27
Speaker 3: attention twenty four to seven and you have three of them,
23:30
Speaker 3: and you're also you know, out of the house working
23:32
Speaker 3: at your jobs. How do you prioritize everything? And make
23:35
Speaker 3: sure that it's all ticking away because having a small business,
23:38
Speaker 3: there's a lot of small business owners in our community
23:40
Speaker 3: who will attest that that is a big time suck.
23:43
Speaker 3: You have to put a lot into that.
23:45
Speaker 4: I think as soon as you have kids. And I
23:48
Speaker 4: had my eldest vis yet to turn three when my
23:50
Speaker 4: third was born, so they were all there was three.
23:52
Speaker 3: Within round of three.
23:54
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, she's crazy.
23:55
Speaker 4: To Jess it was, it was crazy. But my one
23:59
Speaker 4: word of advice always was you lower your expectations at
24:02
Speaker 4: each kid, and you realize that a lot you're never
24:07
Speaker 4: going to be as good at everything as you were
24:10
Speaker 4: at one thing. You kind of just have to appreciate
24:12
Speaker 4: that some nights, my kids might have chicken nuggets out
24:15
Speaker 4: of a box, but we're eating them. We're fine, and
24:17
Speaker 4: that's going to be okay. And then some nights I
24:19
Speaker 4: have to call and sick to work, but I'm getting
24:21
Speaker 4: paid and I'm fine, and that's going to be okay.
24:24
Speaker 4: I think it's just accepting that you can't be perfect
24:27
Speaker 4: at everything all of the time, and knowing which ball
24:31
Speaker 4: to drop, as in, when you have a hundred balls
24:34
Speaker 4: in the air, it's sometimes okay to drop some and
24:37
Speaker 4: things won't break. So it just being aware of which
24:39
Speaker 4: ones drop.
24:41
Speaker 3: That is a great mindset.
24:42
Speaker 1: That is a really really good mindset. Also, I hate
24:44
Speaker 1: you think that chicken nuggets aren't like a really good job.
24:48
Speaker 3: Because that's definitely a dark choice that I have made
24:51
Speaker 3: recent days.
24:52
Speaker 4: All organic, of course I.
24:55
Speaker 1: Don't even know what are organic. Definitely highly processed. I
25:00
Speaker 1: think they came from the drive through.
25:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, I.
25:06
Speaker 1: Love the balls to drop analogy and just knowing which one.
25:09
Speaker 1: Obviously I never know which one is okay to drop,
25:11
Speaker 1: and then it breaks. I'm like, oh, maybe it wasn't
25:13
Speaker 1: that one. So you got together with your partner when
25:16
Speaker 1: you were nineteen and then obviously no one foresees a
25:19
Speaker 1: relationship breakdown. But sometimes, like you know, I don't know
25:23
Speaker 1: your situation. I'm not even going to ask about it
25:26
Speaker 1: because that's not the point of this diary. But sometimes
25:30
Speaker 1: you just need to get out of a relationship and
25:33
Speaker 1: you know you're just like so committed to that relationship,
25:36
Speaker 1: especially because of tenure. There are going to be people
25:39
Speaker 1: listening to this going, oh my gosh, she's done all
25:41
Speaker 1: of this and gotten out of a relationship that wasn't
25:43
Speaker 1: the best thing for her. What advice do you have
25:47
Speaker 1: to those people who are in that situation who are
25:49
Speaker 1: listening along, going, oh, I just don't know how to
25:51
Speaker 1: handle it. What do you wish someone sat you down
25:54
Speaker 1: and said, all right, money to dires, this is what
25:55
Speaker 1: you need to know before you go through this situation.
25:58
Speaker 4: Honestly, one step at a time, and it's always harder
26:01
Speaker 4: in your mind than it is in real life. It
26:03
Speaker 4: was easy then I thought it would be. And I
26:05
Speaker 4: think a lot of women are always like, I can't
26:07
Speaker 4: do this because he will, I can't do this because
26:09
Speaker 4: of this, and I'm like, one step at a time,
26:11
Speaker 4: and I think it's always harder in your mind than
26:15
Speaker 4: it is in real life.
26:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like that's good advice, even for every
26:19
Speaker 1: other situation, especially at three am, where everything seems like
26:23
Speaker 1: the actual worst, Like that seems to be the time
26:26
Speaker 1: that everything for me compounds, and it's always harder in
26:29
Speaker 1: your mind that it is in real life. I really
26:32
Speaker 1: like that. That's such a good place to probably leave this.
26:35
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for spending so much time with us.
26:38
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that you wanted to share your story
26:40
Speaker 1: with us and share our money. I feel like that's
26:42
Speaker 1: been so interesting and also made me feel wildly inadequate,
26:46
Speaker 1: like three kids, three jobs, hustling, has a mortgage once
26:50
Speaker 1: to whe have a property like you are killing it.
26:52
Speaker 1: And I am so wildly proud that you are part
26:55
Speaker 1: of our community. So thank you so much for.
26:57
Speaker 4: Being here, Thank you for having me.
26:59
Speaker 1: Oh my god, of course I love having you. Thank
27:02
Speaker 1: you so much. But as we always say that, unfortunately,
27:06
Speaker 1: that is all we have time for today. Jess, would
27:08
Speaker 1: you like to wrap our show? Absolutely?
27:10
Speaker 3: Don't forget guys. The advice shared on She's on the
27:12
Speaker 3: Money is general in nature and does not consider your
27:14
Speaker 3: individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational
27:18
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27:21
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Speaker 3: four seven oh nine seven seven nine seven fort nine
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Speaker 3: AFSL two three six five two three See you next
27:35
Speaker 3: money Diary. Bye,