Latest / Stacked Intent: Your Guide to Authentic, Intentional Living / 124 Daily Self-Love Habits that Build a Stronger Relationship with Yourself Over Time
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: Hello, my name is Becca Stackhouse Morrison, and I am ready for you to tune in each episode to hear ways to become you.
- 0:09SPEAKER_00: Looking at ways you can be your authentic and intentional self, you'll finish each episode motivated to live life more authentically.
- 0:18SPEAKER_00: I learned how to be truly me through relationships, chronic disease, finances, and taking each journey along the way.
- 0:26SPEAKER_00: Talk about the real aspects of life?
- 0:29SPEAKER_00: Of course.
- 0:30SPEAKER_00: Relationships, finance, nutrition, hardships, exercise are all topics that we will discuss.
- 0:37SPEAKER_00: Pull up a seat, drive safely down the road, or get into that workout groove to be challenged, motivated, and encouraged to be you.
- 0:46SPEAKER_00: This is the Stacked Intent Podcast.
- 0:52SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Stacked Intent.
- 0:54SPEAKER_00: I am Becca, Stack House Morrison, your host, and this episode of the Self-Love Arc for season 11.
- 1:03SPEAKER_00: We've got a lot of ground to cover what self-love actually is, how to build it in a world designed to undermine it, and what it looks like as behavior in your everyday.
- 1:16SPEAKER_00: Today we land the arc with habits because self-love is not built on realization.
- 1:24SPEAKER_00: It's built in practice, in the consistent, daily choice that you make about how you treat yourself.
- 1:34SPEAKER_00: And I want to be honest with you before we dive in.
- 1:38SPEAKER_00: Some of what I'm going to share today is going to feel awkward.
- 1:42SPEAKER_00: Might even feel a little silly the first time you try it.
- 1:47SPEAKER_00: Especially the affirmation piece or the mirror work.
- 1:52SPEAKER_00: That awkwardness is actually useful information for you.
- 1:56SPEAKER_00: It tells you where the resistance lives, and resistance is usually pointing at exactly what you need.
- 2:07SPEAKER_00: So I challenge you to stick with me in this episode.
- 2:11SPEAKER_00: These practices work not because they're magic, but because they are behavioral rehearsals for a relationship with yourself that you deserve to have.
- 3:39SPEAKER_00: So it may be that you're in that stage, and in that stage is where you've got to give some self-loving grace.
- 3:49SPEAKER_00: Second, a body check-in.
- 3:51SPEAKER_00: Before you get up, take three breaths and ask yourself, how does my body feel?
- 3:57SPEAKER_00: What does my body need today?
- 3:59SPEAKER_00: This is practicing the attractiveness of self-love requires.
- 4:05SPEAKER_00: Third is an intention.
- 4:07SPEAKER_00: One sentence about how you want to show up today.
- 4:11SPEAKER_00: Not a to-do list of intentions.
- 4:15SPEAKER_00: Something like, today I'm going to be patient with myself.
- 4:20SPEAKER_00: Or today I'm going to notice when I'm giving more than I have.
- 4:25SPEAKER_00: Or today I am going to do one thing that's just for me.
- 4:33SPEAKER_00: That's it.
- 4:34SPEAKER_00: Even 10 minutes of this done consistently is going to begin to shift your baseline of that self-relationship.
- 4:45SPEAKER_00: Affirmations.
- 4:47SPEAKER_00: Affirmations are important.
- 4:49SPEAKER_00: Now, I've grown up writing my affirmations on my mirror, which means the bathroom that my sister and I shared, she got to see the affirmations on her our bathroom mirror.
- 4:59SPEAKER_00: And as I've gotten married, my husband has gotten to see them writing on the mirror when we've shared sinks.
- 5:06SPEAKER_00: So affirmations, I know some of you might be rolling your eyes here.
- 5:11SPEAKER_00: And I get it because the way affirmations are usually presented, repeat this, believe it immediately.
- 5:18SPEAKER_00: Doesn't always work.
- 5:19SPEAKER_00: And the gap between what you're saying and what you're actually believing can just make you feel worse.
- 5:27SPEAKER_00: But here's what the research on self-affirmation actually tells us.
- 5:31SPEAKER_00: It is more than just an Instagram version.
- 5:36SPEAKER_00: Affirmations work when they're connected to something you genuinely value, not just because you wish you believed something about yourself.
- 5:46SPEAKER_00: So instead of saying, I am beautiful and worthy when a part of you doesn't believe it yet, you say something like, I am committed to treating myself with care.
- 5:58SPEAKER_00: Or I am learning to trust myself, even if it's again.
- 6:04SPEAKER_00: Or I choose to show up for myself today.
- 6:09SPEAKER_00: Those statements are process-focused and value-aligned.
- 6:13SPEAKER_00: They're about what you're doing, not what you're declaring about yourself.
- 6:18SPEAKER_00: And the research shows that this kind of self-affirmation actually reduces your threat response.
- 6:27SPEAKER_00: And it increases your openness and builds the pathway for new patterns of self-regarded over time.
- 6:38SPEAKER_00: So write three affirmations that feel honest and true, even if they're aspirational.
- 6:46SPEAKER_00: And speak them out loud each morning.
- 6:49SPEAKER_00: Not quickly, not rooted, slow, with your complete full attention.
- 6:55SPEAKER_00: The awkwardness you feel is your nervous system encountering a new pattern.
- 7:00SPEAKER_00: So stay with it.
- 7:06SPEAKER_00: Mirror work is a practice that's associated um with Lewis Hay.
- 7:13SPEAKER_00: And it is probably the most uncomfortable thing that I'm going to ask you to try, which is why I think it might be worth trying.
- 7:22SPEAKER_00: Mirror work is the practice of looking yourself in the eye in a mirror and speaking kindly to yourself.
- 7:28SPEAKER_00: The most basic version is to look in the mirror once a day, make eye time contact with you, and say, I love you, or I'm proud of you, or you are doing a great job.
- 7:41SPEAKER_00: And even get more specific.
- 7:43SPEAKER_00: This discomfort most people feel about doing this for the first time is worth paying attention to because most of us find it nearly impossible to receive kindness from ourselves, even when it can be easily offered to others.
- 7:58SPEAKER_00: That gap is exactly where the work lives.
- 8:02SPEAKER_00: More broadly, mirror work is also about changing your self-talk.
- 8:07SPEAKER_00: The running internal communication that you have with yourself, research is consistent with showing that the way that we talk to ourselves shapes our beliefs about ourselves, which also shapes our behaviors and our results.
- 8:23SPEAKER_00: The practice is not to force positivity, it is to notice the harshness, challenge it, replace it with something that's both honest but kind.
- 8:34SPEAKER_00: And not, I'm amazing at everything, but I'm doing my best with what I have right now.
- 8:41SPEAKER_00: And that is enough.
- 8:46SPEAKER_00: Bookend your day with a brief evaluate evening reflection.
- 8:51SPEAKER_00: Five minutes, no more, with these three questions.
- 8:55SPEAKER_00: What went well today?
- 8:56SPEAKER_00: What did I do for myself today?
- 8:59SPEAKER_00: And what do I want to do differently tomorrow?
- 9:02SPEAKER_00: Notice that middle question is what did I do for myself?
- 9:06SPEAKER_00: Not what did I accomplish?
- 9:09SPEAKER_00: Not what did I do for others, but what did I give yourself today?
- 9:16SPEAKER_00: This one keeps self-love on a radar for your daily practice rather than it being something that you only think about occasionally.
- 9:26SPEAKER_00: And over time, it's gonna be a habit that you build, which is the beginning of everything happening.
- 9:35SPEAKER_00: Now I want to be clear, you don't have to do all of this, you don't have to try and do anything of it in the exact way that I described it.
- 9:47SPEAKER_00: What's gonna matter is that you find a set practice that feels genuine, that you can sustain, and that connects you to more of a loving relationship with yourself.
- 10:00SPEAKER_00: Start with one thing, the smallest, easiest entry point.
- 10:05SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's for you that quiet morning.
- 10:08SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's the question, what would someone who loves themselves do here?
- 10:13SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's that evening reflection.
- 10:17SPEAKER_00: Do that one thing consistently for two weeks before you add in another layer.
- 10:24SPEAKER_00: Self-love is not built in single weekend retreats or a month of perfect mornings, it's built in a thousand moments where you choose again and again and again and again to show up for yourself.
- 10:42SPEAKER_00: And every time you are writing a different story about who you are and what you deserve.
- 10:50SPEAKER_00: Here's your action step this week.
- 10:53SPEAKER_00: Design your personal self-love practice.
- 10:56SPEAKER_00: Not a perfect one, but a real one.
- 10:58SPEAKER_00: Pick a morning habit, a midday habit, and one evening habit.
- 11:03SPEAKER_00: They can be tiny, they can be morning quiet times.
- 11:07SPEAKER_00: The question at a decision point, the three reflection questions before bed.
- 11:15SPEAKER_00: Write it down.
- 11:16SPEAKER_00: Put them somewhere you see them and do them even and perfectly and consistently at first.
- 11:24SPEAKER_00: And the more and more that you do this, the more and more it's gonna become a part of you and how your self-love act is.
- 11:33SPEAKER_00: So, self-love arc.
- 11:35SPEAKER_00: I am proud of you for doing the work.
- 11:37SPEAKER_00: Show up for yourself and be there.
- 11:41SPEAKER_00: And thank you for being here with us as we journey on to our self-love arc.
- 11:49SPEAKER_00: Look forward to catching you on the next episode of Stacked Intent.
- 11:56SPEAKER_00: That brings us to the end of this episode of Stacked Intent.
- 12:00SPEAKER_00: If you loved this episode as much as I did, head on over and rate and subscribe so you will never miss an episode.
- 12:08SPEAKER_00: New episodes are gonna be dropped on Thursdays.
- 12:11SPEAKER_00: Until then, this is Becca, and don't forget, enrich your life by being intentional.
- 12:19SPEAKER_00: This podcast was created, produced, and recorded and edited by Stacked Intent.