Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 287. Flashback Friday - Why Are We So Quick to Judge?

Transcript

287. Flashback Friday - Why Are We So Quick to Judge? · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the She Rises podcast.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: I'm Ashi. And I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: most authentic version of yourself.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: We're going to laugh, cry, and talk about the topics
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: everyone else is too afraid to talk about.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level self.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm pondering on at the moment? Because
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I got sent this screenshot from a gossip page the
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: other day and people just send me a screenshot. It's
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: not like, hey, babe, really supporting you. Like, I want
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: you to let know about this. They just send me
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: a screenshot of what people are saying about me. And
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: people the other day were saying that for someone who's
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: so well put together, which thank you. I don't feel
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: like I'm always put together.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: You think I'm well put together?
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Her kids look homeless. You'd think she'd take
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: her son to get a haircut. Because he just got
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: a cut actually, not because of them. Yeah. He decided to. Actually,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: the hairdresser fucking decided to go shorter. But he had
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: long hair and he really loved it. He wanted his
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: curls back from when he was younger. And you can
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: see Tala's got curls. So he wanted his curls back.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I said, you probably need to grow your hair because
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: when it cuts, it cuts the curls off at the ends.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: When it gets longer, he gets curly ends. So he
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: wanted to grow it long and he got his curls
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: back and he was loving it. It was starting to
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: kind of get in his eyes a bit. And we
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: went to get a trim which he wanted and the
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: hairdresser ended up getting scissor happy and it's way shorter now.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: But I was just pondering. I'm like, I went really
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: deep in it. One, why are you sending me this?
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: It doesn't serve me. What I don't know doesn't hurt me.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Let me live over here in fairyland. I don't give
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: a fuck what they're saying behind my back, truly. It
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: doesn't impact me in a positive way if you send it. Yes. Three,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: why are you in a gossip page? What does that
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: do for your life? What makes you want to join
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: in there? What makes you want to stay in there?
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: What makes you want to engage? I want you to
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: think about what emotional needs this is meeting for you.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Is it significance?
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Is it community?
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Is it connection? Is it variety? And understand all of that,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: but is there a healthier, more productive way to get
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: those needs met? Is this helping you achieve your goals?
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Definitely not. Is this helping you be the woman you
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: know you can be? Definitely not. Is this helping you
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: be a better mother? 100% not. Is your partner attracted
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: to you being in gossip pages looking at everyone bitching
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: about other girls? Definitely not. Would you want your daughter
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: to be in there bitching about other girls? Nope. What
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: would you think about your sister being in there having
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: a bitch about other girls? You wouldn't like that.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: No, not at all.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: So why are you in there? I've just been pondering
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: on it. I'm like, I'm really curious on why these
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: women are in there. And I had another girl reach
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: out and she was really lovely. It was actually about
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: being in hospital and someone sent a screenshot saying that
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: all the nurses were laughing at me in hospital and
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: they're going to find out the tea about me. They
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: know someone that works in there. And I was just like,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: oh my God, is this legal? I spoke to Meg
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: about it and she was like, no, they would lose
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: their job. It's like full confidentiality. They're not allowed to
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: speak about you. And they obviously are. All of these
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: trolls are just making things up. I'm not too sure,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: but I was just like, whoa, this happens. I would never.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: It just got me really curious as to why women
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: do that, what they get out of it.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It was super interesting. Yeah.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: It's definitely a really interesting one, isn't it? Especially like
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: the passing on the information. It's like, You could see
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: like if you assume the best, you could see how
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: somebody might want to do that from a place of
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: like warning you.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: But also it's really a discernment thing, like access discernment
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: in those moments of like, okay, she's showing this person
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: going to help their mental health. Is it going to
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: benefit them in any way? Like what you said, is
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: it going to be a positive thing for them? Absolutely not.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Sometimes ignorance is bliss when it comes to things like this.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Especially with the internet. Like people do and say very
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: unhinged things and it's a very unhinged place. You know,
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: so it's like it's going to happen. But it's like
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: do you need to be receiving it? No. Do people
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: also need to be passing on that information? No. No,
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: because they're also engaging it in their own life too.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it affects you energetically.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: They're being a part of it.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Energy exchange.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: They're actually choosing to contribute to the drama that's happening
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: by involving themselves in it when it has nothing to
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: do with them.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: The hairstyle was like, I don't know why you're sending
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: me this. And then the girl that sent the hospital stuff,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: she was genuinely concerned. She wanted to take it further. Yeah.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: She's like, if you're not going to take this further,
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: I am because she had a mom in hospital at
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: that point in time. And she was like, I'd fucking
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: be so upset if the nurses were one, laughing about
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: you when you're in a vulnerable position, but two, like
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: they're not allowed to share your information. So she's like,
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: if you're not going to take this further, if you
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: don't mind, I will. I was like, well, that's really lovely.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: She was coming from a good place, but I just
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: wanted to share that in case you are in a
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: gossip forum and maybe you're You're like, oh, shit, why
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: am I in there? Like I get it's interesting. Yeah.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: It's gossipy. It's like watching a TV show or I
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: don't know, maybe you're a bit lonely or bored or
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I don't know, you're interested in someone's life so you're
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: trying to find out different pieces. I'm trying to understand
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: it but I still just can't relate. It's not something
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I would ever want to be a part of.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So it's these kinds of behaviors that we get
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: to look at, especially if like anybody who is in
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: a gossip page, but is also on the other hand going, oh,
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: I want to find my people and I want to
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: put myself in better environments. And I want to be
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: surrounded by better people who are focusing on growth and
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: not talking about people. It's, we get to look at
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: ourselves of being like, okay, why am I in this
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: gossip page? If what I'm trying to say and trying
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: to create for myself. is the complete opposite because you
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: very rarely, almost ever, find the people that you're actually
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: looking for in places like that.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, gosh, no. Not in that low vibration.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: No, not at all.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: No. If you're being really honest with yourself, you do
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: not want to be living in that low vibration.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: That's not the kind of people you'd want surrounded by.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: It's just another way to take responsibility for what we're
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: doing and what we're choosing and why we're maybe where
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: we are in life. It's just really cool to look at.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: It's curiosity.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's what I wanted to bring up to hopefully
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: just maybe make some people take a breath and go,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: oh shit.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Okay. Why am I in there? Why would I send
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: that to that person? Do I want to be a
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: part of that?
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: That's not helping me in any way. No, thank you.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Join a page. It's about uplifting women or about growth
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: or about something you're passionate about. Like, your time so
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: precious and so much your energy yeah it's a full
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: energy exchange being in that and it will drain and
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: suck the life out of.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: You yeah my other random thought is just because we've
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: sparked this conversation now it's brought up a conversation we're
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: having the other day that i just genuinely can't fathom
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: sometimes why some people who have fake profiles of user
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: underscore one two three four five.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: You were blocking the other day. I was like, what
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: are you doing? You're like, I'm just blocking these fake profiles. Oh,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I always do.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: If I ever see a fake profile with no post,
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: no image, I'll just block them immediately. Cause I'm like,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: you're obviously here for no good. And immediately I just
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: don't want a part of that. Like it's just not
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: worth it.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: I love that boundary you have.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: If you want to follow me on a normal profile,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: follow me on a normal profile.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: I know. Do you know what I mean?
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, 100%.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Or if they have a profile and it's like, there's
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: one the other day, it was like, peace and puppies.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: It's like, you're not peaceful, you're being a troll.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: You're literally trying to fight with me at 6am on
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: a Saturday morning.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Literally, you're not peaceful, so block.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: I just genuinely can't understand how someone would want to
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: spend their energy trying to misunderstand you and trying to
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: fight with you back and forth on a post when,
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: you know. I just don't understand.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: I don't think we ever will understand because it's not
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: what we'd ever do.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Like there's been some trolls and even like I feel
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: like we've responded like quite well back and been respectful
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: and kind and thoughtful and just like reflected back some
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: things and then they just want to fight. And you
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: can see after like one to two to three responses
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: that they're there to argue with you and they're looking
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: for a fight. And to be honest, like it's just
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: not something I'm willing to entertain. I'm just not.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Tiana manages our social media accounts and it's been cool,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: especially the last couple of weeks when there has been
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: more hate. just observing your responses. And then I've said
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: to you a couple of times when they reply back, like,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: are you going to respond again? You're like, I'll do
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: one more time. Then after that, they've made up their mind.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to keep fighting with someone that is
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: so committed to misunderstanding us. They're not here to have
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: a conversation. I feel like you can pick them quite well,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: but you'll always give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: So you'll always reply once and explain the situation or
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: help them see a different side. And sometimes they come
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: back and they're sweet. Other times not. Yeah. I just
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: trust you to make the right decision.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: It's cool.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I appreciate that. Because it's just like, you know,
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: I'm not here to say that no one gets to
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: have an opinion. No. I think everyone gets to have
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: an opinion. And I'm not mad at people for disagreeing
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: with what we post or something that we've shared. Like
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: I don't blame them. I don't expect everyone to love
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: what we post. However, I do expect people who are
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: going to come onto our social medias to come with respect.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: And if they don't have that, like I just don't
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: have time for it. But also even when they don't,
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: I can still have respect and we can still have
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: respect and respond in a respectful way because we don't
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: need to stoop to that level. Like I'm never going
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: to match someone in that frequency and that energy of
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: what they're coming at us for when we're just doing
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: our best to share like our magic with the world. 100%.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: You know? It's been cool for me to learn from
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: you too. I feel like I'm getting a lot better
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: at my responses where sometimes I get a bit defensive.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: And I think it's just been 15 years online. Yeah.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: I'm like, why?
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: I get a bit worn down sometimes. Yeah. But it's
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: been awesome to learn from you how to communicate in
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: a way and allow people to have their opinions for
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: you to still stand up for yourself as well. But just, yeah,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: open up different conversations. It's been really cool. I'm enjoying it.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: them coming in and for us to like be able
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: to respond in a way we're proud of and to
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: hopefully see if we can shift their perspective on us
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: or the topic or whatever it is that's upset them.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: And then if they're not, it's like, okay, to say
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: you don't have to be here.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: So just to give you guys some context, like there
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: was one that we got in the DMs not that
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: long ago. And obviously if you guys have been listening
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: and you guys know that unfortunately Remba has passed away
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: and all of that situation had happened and essentially what
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: happened from then, I took over the social media space.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: And I just let everybody know that as well. And
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: I posted continuously about our Valentine's Day event because it
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: was the week prior and we have work commitments. We've
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: got contracts in place for what we're doing with the podcast.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Girls are flying in for the event. We couldn't cancel
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: the event.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: We couldn't cancel the event. And we got a DM
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: and someone had said directly to me that I was
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: money hungry because I wasn't making the social media go
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: dark for a week. I wasn't respectful. It was disrespectful
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: for me to continue posting what I was posting and
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: that it looked like I was money hungry and that
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: I didn't care about what was happening and I just
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: responded to this woman and just like sent a long
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: message and just gave her some context and just said
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: like hey I really don't appreciate your message is really
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: disrespectful like it's really hurtful when everyone is grieving and
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: gave her some context about what's actually happening behind closed
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: doors and And she actually came good and she was like,
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. Like I shouldn't have seen it so
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: black and white, but I judged something just in the
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: split moment. And she took responsibility for it. It was
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: so beautiful. And then she was like, I actually love
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: what you guys are posting. I appreciate what you guys do. And,
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: you know, so it's just allowing people to have their thoughts,
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: their opinions, and whatever it is that they want to say.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: And then we can respond to how we want. And then,
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: you know, if they come around, they come around. If not,
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: that's also okay too, but just not here.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: And it is good to give context sometimes. Sometimes I
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: feel in two minds too, random thoughts, I'm like, We
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: don't owe anyone an explanation.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: Not at all.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: But then sometimes it is good to give context. I
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: remember that reply. There's been so much come through that
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't be online, we shouldn't be doing this and
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be doing that throughout this whole thing. But it's
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: like you guys are seeing literally a tiny snippet of
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: what we're posting about work. You don't know about the
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: 23 other hours of the day, what we're doing to
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: support someone who's grieving or support their family or support
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: our friends or support ourselves. You actually have no idea.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: And I think that's a really important thing to remember.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Whoever you're following online, you're seeing people 2% of their day, literally. Yeah.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: And if they're sharing more, great. You can have more
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: compassion for what they're trying to hold.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: But it's just so easy to quickly jump to an
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: assumption that they're doing things wrong or they shouldn't be
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: doing something or showing up a certain way, but you
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: don't actually have context or understand what they actually have
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: to do. Yeah. And me being online or us being online, yes,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: it's fun, but we are also in a contract. Yes,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I called my podcast producers and said, I'm having a
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: week off, but didn't mean you could just take a
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: week off as well.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: You know, we have things in place that we have
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: to do and responsibilities and bills to pay and things
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: that need to be done.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Yep. And just because like it looks a little different
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: doesn't mean that it's not work.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because you go to a nine to five. It
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean our work is any less important.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: We had this conversation the other day. talking about how
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: just because people see the fun conversations that we have,
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: people don't recognize the amount of work that goes in
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: behind the scenes of what we're doing, especially with everything
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: that we're doing with the events, what we're doing with
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: the social medias, podcasting, all of that stuff. It's a commitment. 100%.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: It's still work at the end of the day. It's commitments.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: We have responsibilities in the roles that we both play.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: And it's really easy to look at what we do
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: and go, oh, wow, they're having so much fun. That
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: means that they don't have anything that's hard or responsibility-wise
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: or commitments. It's just like, oh, they're just having a
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: conversation and they go off on their day.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: It's so not like that. And you know what? Without
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: the job that I have and being online, back to
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: like the Megsie thing, I wouldn't have been able to
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: raise $ 50, 000. My community got behind them. Yeah, they did.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: I also wouldn't have been able to be at Megsie's
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: house as much as what I was if I didn't
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: have the job that I have. Because I've shown up
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: online and I've created this lifestyle, I've been able to
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: support Meggie in a way that I have. And a
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: lot of her friends work 9 to 5 and they
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: couldn't go and be at her house all the time.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: You were there every day.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but like why should I be criticized for doing
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: that just because my job looks a little bit different?
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: No matter what you do, there's going to be someone
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: that doesn't agree with it and someone that criticizes it
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: and thinks it's the wrong way. But no one can
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: tell you what's wrong or right, especially in grief. Everyone
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: grieves differently. It's so interesting and hectic to go through
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: because even myself, I'm like, one minute I'm okay and
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: the next minute I'm just not. And it's such an
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: emotional rollercoaster. It's really hard to navigate and just allow
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: it all to be there.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: I think an important thing to note as well is
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: when you're seeing people on social media and you've just
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: seen someone go through something heavy and then they're posting
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: something happy or they're posting something and you think that
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: they shouldn't be doing that. Can we just agree and
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: make a pact right now that we're going to start
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: assuming the best of people? That no matter what we
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: see online, that there may be even for you, for example,
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: people having something to say about you being happy whilst
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: grieving and doing all these things for business, like maybe
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: you're just doing the best that you can. Maybe you're
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: trying to keep yourself afloat so that you can hold
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: everybody and continue to do so like what you've been
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: doing this whole time. Like, can we just agree to
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: disagree that we're going to start to assume the best
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: and not the worst of people, especially the people that
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: we say that we look up to and that we
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: speak highly of and all these things, but then, you know,
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: they do something one wrong thing and all of a
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: sudden it's the you know, the end of the world. No,
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: it's not. But in people's eyes, she's doing the wrong thing.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: You shouldn't be happy. How could you be happy? How
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: could you post a dancing video? You know what? That
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: like two minutes of dancing might've been the highlight of
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: my day that day. Maybe I was grieving and like,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: this is truth, grieving and crying and having a really
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: fucking tough time. And then I got to just be
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: silly and playful and be in that joy for a moment.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: And this is something Megsie's taught me as well, is
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: just to allow it all to be there. Because you're grieving,
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: does that mean you can't ever be happy again? Yeah.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Does that mean you can't laugh with your kids again?
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Does that mean you can't show up online and share
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: your story? There's no rules as to how grief is. Yeah.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: And we need to allow Megsie and anyone listening grieving
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: to have their process exactly how it feels good for them.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: And for me, I jump amongst it all and I
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: allow all that to be there.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.