Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Guarding Tess vs Moonstruck

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Guarding Tess vs Moonstruck · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:00
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
0:12
So I don't know how much road construction you think is appropriate on 420,
0:19
but I went through three different construction sites.
0:23
I think it's all a trap.
0:24
Yeah. They're just planting cops all over the place.
0:28
Oh, speaking of weird shit.
0:29
So I went on a walk early this morning and right outside of my house.
0:33
You know, that's about where everyone just like sits and smokes weed
0:35
and like has their music on in their cars. Intimately.
0:37
Yeah. My people. Right.
0:39
There was just like a huge mound of shit and it was like loose sod
0:45
and tree stumps hoping it was wrapped in blankets
0:49
and then tied to a telephone pole with the cord going straight across the sidewalk.
0:55
Oh, my God. Giant Bindel.
0:56
Yeah, it was basically a giant Bindel. Wow.
0:59
You have giants moving in.
1:00
Yeah. Was Wiley Coyote walking across the street.
1:03
I mean, it was just like, what is this thing?
1:05
And everyone sort of from the neighborhood was wandering up and being like, huh?
1:09
Wow. Yeah.
1:10
Your neighbor is just like my dogs.
1:12
They just if anything's out of place, like a piece of garbage sitting on a street,
1:17
they get very upset.
1:19
Yeah. I mean, we were all just kind of like, huh, you see this?
1:22
What is this shit?
1:24
It's great. Speaking of random shit.
1:26
How's your quest going to keep people from throwing stuff out in your garage
1:30
and your garbage?
1:31
Oh, it stopped.
1:33
Did you kill someone?
1:35
No, I think allegedly exuded the willpower to set their lawn on fire.
1:43
But didn't set their lawn on fire. Right.
1:45
You just exuded the ability to.
1:47
Yes. Gave that vibe.
1:49
Heavy arsonist vibes. Exactly.
1:52
You do cut a specific silhouette.
1:55
Well, shit. All right.
1:57
Here we are. Saturday morning.
1:59
Saturday morning.
2:01
These are weird records. They are.
2:03
Wasn't Moonstruck one of our first morning records?
2:08
No, it would have been next.
2:10
And whatever we had with Darrell the first time.
2:13
Darrell would have been our earliest one. Yeah.
2:16
We drink coffee a couple of times.
2:17
I'm surprised you guys did next.
2:19
Well, that we know that movie has the most exploding,
2:25
exploding Jessica Beals I've ever seen. Sure.
2:27
I did relisten to that clip again.
2:29
Every month, I listen to that five minute window of me just losing my shit.
2:33
I've never heard you laugh like that.
2:35
Oh, man, it's it's it makes me laugh hearing me laugh.
2:40
I'm just going to insert that five minutes right here.
2:43
Just as a reminder to people. Exactly.
2:47
Go back in time, two minutes.
2:49
OK, neck in martinis.
2:51
He meets Jessica Beal.
2:52
There's a whole plot point about her teaching on a reservation.
2:57
Yeah. Why did they do that?
3:01
It was to set up the FBI using the photo
3:05
like the traffic cam to get the permit number for her reservation access.
3:12
So they could track her by that permit.
3:14
So dumb. It could have been a fucking license plate.
3:18
No, there was no license plate on the front.
3:20
Yeah, I understand that there was no.
3:22
They could have just written that there was a license plate on the front.
3:25
That's how movie making works.
3:26
But then there's no obstacles to overcome.
3:29
And we don't know that she's a nice person.
3:31
Yeah, because we got to know she's a nice person. Yeah.
3:34
Also, it gives her the reason we wouldn't care when she blows up later.
3:38
Oh, OK. Yeah. My favorite part of this movie is when Jessica Beal just explodes.
3:43
OK, that was great.
3:45
And also the I laughed so hard, the news reporter just sitting there
3:49
and the cameraman's like unflinching.
3:51
He's like, we're going to keep filming the spot where the body zoom in.
3:56
Yeah. And the news reporter is just like having an emotional breakdown
4:00
because she just saw somebody explode.
4:02
And the cameraman's like, I don't want to miss a thing.
4:07
How often do you see someone just explode?
4:09
I don't know. But I think the director for the news
4:12
program would be like, hey, man, shift that camera to the other side,
4:16
like just pan so that like the reporters on the other side of the shot.
4:22
It's like, oh, you're not looking at an exploded lady anymore.
4:28
I don't know.
4:28
That's when like the card has to come up with the elevator music that says,
4:31
you know, you know, we'll be right back.
4:33
We're experienced technical difficulties.
4:35
Yeah. Like news bursting at the seams or something. Yeah.
4:38
Something really out of like
4:40
this thing at the seams is rude show.
4:44
That that's what I was going for. Hmm.
4:47
Here. So also in this movie, there's a group of European terrorists.
4:53
I got a real question about these guys.
4:56
It's the Russian, right? Yeah. French.
5:00
I was watching this with subtitles on because maybe they're terrible.
5:04
But it's like there.
5:05
It's always speaking French, speaking French until one part
5:09
where someone is definitely speaking German.
5:10
And the subtitle said foreign language.
5:16
What was with those guys like they obviously knew Nick Cage
5:21
had some kind of power, right?
5:23
Because they were trying to like get to cage also.
5:27
And like trying to assassinate.
5:28
Well, they why did they know originally it was just they wanted him
5:32
because the FBI wanted him and that but they didn't know why.
5:35
And then suddenly they knew why.
5:37
Also, why is Colombo in this movie?
5:43
I've never seen Peter laugh this much.
5:45
I can't stand this shit.
5:49
Oh, my God, you're a red dude.
5:53
This movie is so fucking dumb.
5:57
And it feels so long to for an hour and a half.
6:00
It is so goddamn long, man.
6:03
All right. Then where are we?
6:06
Has he used his time power to fuck her yet?
6:08
That's about where we're at. OK.
6:11
And now back to our regular episode.
6:14
What was I supposed to remind you of?
6:16
You were supposed to remind me of something.
6:17
Yeah. We remind you of.
6:19
No, because Bill's a sparkle buddy now.
6:21
Oh, yeah, that's right.
6:23
Oh, yeah. We have a new sparkle buddy, Bill.
6:26
Thanks for joining.
6:26
I'll try and remember your name at the end also.
6:28
But in case I fuck it up, Bill,
6:32
just take a clean one, just so you can like throw it in there at the end.
6:34
Bill. There we go.
6:37
And Bill.
6:40
I've never said Bill that many times. Bill.
6:45
Thanks, Bill. Thanks, Bill.
6:46
We love you.
6:49
Well, with that, welcome back to cage match,
6:50
calling around about meeting Nicholas Cage.
6:53
I'm your host, Sean, here with my co-host Nick.
6:57
I'm Nick and our producer, Peter.
7:00
Hi. And we have a special guest today.
7:02
My friend Ian. Say hi. Hello. Hello.
7:06
Welcome aboard. Yeah.
7:08
So I think it's safe to say this podcast is one of the reasons
7:11
you and I are friends.
7:12
I would say so because someone's like, oh,
7:15
Sean has a Nicholas Cage podcast and you're like Nicholas Cage.
7:18
I have opinions. Lots of opinions.
7:21
How do you not?
7:22
How do you walk through the world without having a bunch of Nicholas Cage opinions?
7:25
I thought I had Nicholas Cage opinions, but apparently they were all wrong
7:27
until I started this podcast. Fair enough.
7:30
I have two opinions. Nicholas Cage is bad and Nicholas Cage is good.
7:35
And they're both right simultaneously. Always.
7:38
It is the constant of the universe.
7:41
So, you know, what got you started with cage?
7:42
Like, why? Why do you know so much about Nick Cage?
7:45
Fair question. I suppose.
7:50
The Rock would be the the correct answer as a child.
7:54
Just loved the Rock group near San Francisco.
7:57
Was for some reason much cooler that Nicholas Cage was there
8:02
instead of it just being a really weird island with a prison on it.
8:06
So I would say that's probably what got me in at the beginning.
8:10
And then it's Nicholas Cage. How do you not just hold on?
8:14
But there are a lot of people who saw the Rock and then only ended up watching
8:17
like two other Nick Cage movies ever. That is fair.
8:20
Have you seen everything at this point other than some of the most recent stuff?
8:24
I have not actually had a had a count. I'm about half.
8:26
OK, so I'm I'm about 70 ish, 60 ish over 50.
8:33
That's that's where I'm at right now.
8:34
That's about where we're at.
8:36
Yeah. With the whole bracket giving us 64.
8:38
And then I think we've had 10 bonus episodes.
8:41
So, you know, like you keep finding new ones.
8:44
They're just they're out there.
8:45
Have you seen the Crudes?
8:47
The Crudes I have not seen there.
8:49
But he has seen Crudes, too.
8:52
As we all have.
8:53
I mean, we saw we watched National Treasure to first for this podcast.
8:58
Yeah, it was a good choice.
9:00
That was the superior national treasure.
9:03
And it failed to Sorcerer's Apprentice.
9:06
Because Sorcerer's Apprentice is a lot of fun.
9:07
It is a lot of fun. I do love Sorcerer's Apprentice.
9:11
But this isn't about Sorcerer's Apprentice.
9:12
No, what are we talking about today?
9:13
Today, we're talking about Moonstruck and Guardian Tests.
9:16
For that one person who complained, why don't you tell us what those movies are?
9:20
Moonstruck is about Cher finding love and all the wrong places.
9:25
And Guardian Tests is about Nicolas Cage being kind of a sad gun nut.
9:33
Interesting takes.
9:34
Yeah. OK, now, Ian, you describe these two movies.
9:37
Yeah, we have a guest here, so I don't have to work as hard.
9:40
I'd say Moonstruck is is about Cher finding love.
9:44
But I wouldn't say in all the wrong places, necessarily.
9:46
I'd say it's a story of love for everyone involved.
9:50
You know, it's the mom struggling with her.
9:54
You know, marriage, veiling dad doing the same.
9:58
I mean, it's a it's a whole story of love.
10:00
I feel like where Nicolas Cage gets to be an absolute nut
10:04
and complained about his hand the whole time. Love that.
10:06
Guardian Tests, I would say, is a story of a man
10:11
who is disgruntled in his job, hates everything about it.
10:15
And it's a kind of full circle finding your way back to what you know,
10:20
essentially by shooting someone's toes off, by shooting someone's toes off,
10:24
which is the only way to find ourselves back to where we need.
10:27
All right. Now you go, Nick.
10:30
It's a lot of kissing.
10:32
There are both movies.
10:33
There's a lot of kissing.
10:36
Let's do Moonstruck first. I don't know.
10:37
I'm feeling drawn that direction.
10:38
All right. The Bella Luna's caught your eye.
10:40
The Bella Luna.
10:43
I still love the grandpa.
10:46
I love all his dogs.
10:47
I love that the actor is deaf and just kind of
10:52
waited till people stopped talking to give his lines.
10:56
It made it so good at the end when he's just like sitting there crying.
11:00
He's like, I'm so confused.
11:05
Yeah. But I don't know.
11:09
Stellar performances from everybody.
11:12
It's like just kind of campy and big enough
11:16
that everybody's interesting.
11:19
Even like the liquor store owner and wife that are arguing or about whatever.
11:25
It's interesting to watch. They're fun.
11:26
That's cute. All right.
11:28
Because I'm going to fuck this up a lot.
11:29
Which one's Johnny and which one's Ronnie again?
11:31
Johnny is the engaged.
11:34
Ronnie is the one who lost his hand played by Nick.
11:37
Is the cage. Yeah.
11:39
Who has a wolf inside of him?
11:41
A wolf wolf. He's got a wolf.
11:42
He's a wolf.
11:43
Johnny cares about his mom. Ronnie does not. Correct.
11:47
I'm just going to put dingbat for Johnny.
11:49
Yeah, you got it.
11:50
This movie to me is about how women rule and men are dumb children.
11:55
Yeah, that's pretty much how I felt about it the entire time watching it.
11:59
Fair. Johnny's such a big baby.
12:02
Johnny's a big baby.
12:04
Professor Hot Pants is a big John Mahoney.
12:07
Yeah, John Mahoney.
12:09
How old is John Mahoney in this film?
12:11
Probably 55 or so.
12:13
People aged more back then.
12:16
We had this conversation.
12:17
Yeah, it just looked shittier.
12:19
Yeah, like we're we're a good
12:22
decade older than the cast of Cheers when, you know.
12:26
Oh, yeah. When Cheers was going on and we all look younger than all of them.
12:31
Indoor smoking was a wild thing.
12:32
It's fucking true.
12:35
It was only like 45 when this movie came when like this movie came out.
12:38
Forty five, forty seven.
12:39
Yeah, looked older than that.
12:41
Yeah. I mean, he was known as an old actor.
12:44
He never played roles as a young actor.
12:47
So we all just know him as Frazier's dad.
12:50
Essentially, I kind of would like to see John Mahoney, the action star,
12:55
like just one high intensity role.
12:58
Also, I burn notice he's the villain in the first season of Burn Notice.
13:02
Well, that's not what I'm looking at.
13:04
He gets he jumps out of one for notice.
13:06
He jumps out of a helicopter that I'm looking for,
13:09
but I'm not looking for the rest of the show.
13:11
I love Burn Notice. I know.
13:13
I'll forever deny it.
13:14
I was going to also give props on the the Cheers reference
13:18
that we got all the way back to Frazier's dad.
13:20
So we kind of full circled there. Yeah.
13:24
Has anyone seen the Frazier revival?
13:27
No, no, I have not.
13:28
I hear it's good.
13:29
I have heard the opposite.
13:31
So Frazier holds up weirdly well.
13:33
I watched like the first few seasons on Hulu recently.
13:36
But how do you feel about Frazier?
13:37
Not in Seattle.
13:39
And I mean, he was in Boston originally. Yeah.
13:43
For Cheers.
13:44
But then Frazier was Seattle. Yeah.
13:46
And now he's gone and moved in with his son.
13:48
I still really want to play boss dragons and scrambled eggs.
13:51
The Frazier. Yes.
13:54
I think that's going to be a lot of fun.
13:55
I just don't know enough about Frazier to really be good at it. But
13:59
the concept of that hurt so much.
14:01
What is this?
14:03
They made a tabletop RPG based on Frazier.
14:06
So it's like Frazier, but with magic mystery.
14:09
I don't know, man. I'll send you the PDF.
14:10
It's pretty funny.
14:12
This might be my birthday game. Oh, we should do it.
14:14
Yeah, I would have to actually watch Frazier for a bit.
14:17
But I mean, I'd run it. Oh, good. Yeah.
14:20
But I think the players still need to understand Frazier related references.
14:23
You're playing like Niles and Frazier and the girl Daphne.
14:29
Yeah, that's right.
14:30
Ross. That's yeah.
14:32
I both of them, I think.
14:34
Eddie, the dog.
14:35
I don't think Eddie is in there.
14:37
Too bad he is now.
14:40
Hey, that's the power of imagination, right?
14:42
My dog is long dead. Oh, yeah.
14:44
So is John Mahoney.
14:45
Not my imagination.
14:46
John Mahoney.
14:47
Also, John Mahoney's chair should be a playable character.
14:50
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
14:53
OK, so Moonstruck.
14:54
I found it charming on second, you know, go around.
14:58
I think it's it's a lot of fun.
15:00
I do think that the ensemble cast really adds to everything.
15:03
You and I both noticed the same thing on this rewatch when.
15:07
Checking my notes, Johnny is talking about his brother,
15:09
and he like raises his left hand, he looks at his hand and like
15:12
sheepishly puts it away.
15:14
Also, what a stupid concept.
15:16
It's like I'm pissed at my brother because he distracted me while I was slicing.
15:20
He made me look wrong.
15:22
Hey, he wanted the bread.
15:24
He distracted him while slicing the bread.
15:26
By what, like tickling him?
15:28
Oh, maybe. I mean, question.
15:30
Johnny's really annoying.
15:31
I find him quite distracting.
15:33
Well, Ronnie is an active listener.
15:36
He's a good guy.
15:36
That's why he gets share at the end.
15:38
He's a hand talker. Yes.
15:41
Very passionate about his hand.
15:43
I loved all the hand talking in this movie again.
15:46
I and as soon as I started to notice again, I was like, oh, that's right.
15:51
There was that one aunt who happened to be the hand coach for the whole cast.
15:55
Oh, that's right.
15:57
And then I was Italian.
15:59
What's going on here?
16:02
And then I was just a racist stereotype for the rest of the day.
16:05
And I'm not upset about that.
16:08
It's fine.
16:09
Didn't we decide that Italians aren't people?
16:11
I'm pretty sure we did during the Captain Kareli's.
16:14
Yeah. So that still holds for Italian Americans.
16:19
Fair. Do you think he's got attachments for that hand now?
16:24
I hope so.
16:24
I mean, assuming that that character was a real person
16:27
and that we're now 35 years later. Yeah, of course.
16:30
Yeah. How do you think that marriage panned out?
16:32
Oh, I mean, great.
16:34
How could it not?
16:36
I think they got divorced and he turned into Dr. No.
16:39
And so that's why now he's got like cool claw hands and martial arts.
16:43
Yeah. Yeah, that's a that's better.
16:45
He turned to crime.
16:46
I can't do a good Ronnie as Dr.
16:49
No, I'm going to keep checking the notes for this whole time.
16:53
I mean, it is tough to keep it in your head for some reason,
16:57
but like it shouldn't be that hard.
16:58
No, their names are too similar.
17:01
Why did they make it?
17:02
Johnny and Ronnie, they have a shit mother.
17:04
That's probably why Ronnie doesn't talk to his mom.
17:06
It's true. Ronnie does not talk to his mom.
17:09
Johnny loves his mama. Yeah.
17:12
The scenes with her dying.
17:14
So good when he's just like crying at the foot of the bed and she's like,
17:17
ah, just waving him off, baby.
17:23
So Peter and I talked about this a bit yesterday.
17:26
How long a period of time does this movie take place over?
17:30
I think about a week.
17:32
Yeah, it can't be terribly long.
17:35
Like they get it.
17:35
Yeah, they get in three days.
17:37
On the short end, it's three days.
17:38
They get engaged.
17:40
She goes to meet between her meeting Ronnie
17:44
and her being engaged, Ronnie is.
17:48
48 hours. Probably.
17:50
They meet at the bread shop.
17:51
They go to his place. They sleep together.
17:53
Let's also talk about how they are terrible of an idea.
17:56
Johnny had to get engaged, then get dropped off at the airport.
18:00
Like you're not even going to.
18:02
Consummate your engagement whatsoever.
18:05
Like, yeah, that's going to go well.
18:06
Johnny, that's like a big consummator guy.
18:08
Yeah. And she convinces Johnny doesn't fuck.
18:11
Johnny does not fuck.
18:12
Ronnie, Ronnie Fox.
18:14
We all can agree with that.
18:16
And also, they're pretty far off in age to be brothers.
18:20
I mean, there he could be his dad.
18:22
I mean, that's just because Johnny looks like shit.
18:24
Speaking of like premature aging.
18:27
Now, Ronnie looks like shit to different kind of shit, though.
18:32
Fair. And Nicolas Cage still had his baby teeth in this movie.
18:34
He did. He was missing that one.
18:37
One of the IT one.
18:38
Is that the one he pulled out for Birdie?
18:39
I think so.
18:40
Yeah. Commitment to a bit.
18:42
Also, like his fucked up teeth are pretty charming.
18:45
Like, I like that look on him a lot versus just veneers.
18:48
But I'm not a celebrity.
18:50
So yeah, you know, you're not a copula.
18:53
Well, my IMDb star power is increasing.
18:56
So hey, call me when you reach my level. Yeah.
19:01
Are you looking up Danny Ayo's age?
19:04
Yeah, it's like a 30 year difference.
19:05
Is he really 30 years older?
19:08
It's a lot.
19:08
I mean, shares quite a bit older to born 1933.
19:12
Holy shit. OK.
19:13
Wow. He's K. World War two sixty four.
19:17
Fuck.
19:19
They're brothers. They're totally brothers.
19:21
They're one year different.
19:22
Their mom. Fucks.
19:23
Their mom fucks for real.
19:26
I'm crazy.
19:29
I mean, he does look like an old dude.
19:32
It's like, what is sure.
19:33
Why does she like him?
19:35
She would be. She's not.
19:36
Like, it's just I withered husk.
19:38
Can you imagine pushing a baby out of like.
19:42
It's just crepe paper.
19:43
Maybe that's why they hate each other.
19:44
Between two stale.
19:46
I was going to say tortillas, but what's Italian to out of like a fucking.
19:51
Can I? Yeah. A stale cannoli.
19:54
Gross. Gross.
19:59
That's so fucking sick.
20:01
Sprinkle some pistachios on it when it comes out.
20:03
Munger.
20:06
That's the border.
20:08
That's the summit.
20:12
We'll see how much of that makes the cut.
20:14
All of it. Yeah.
20:16
Oh, God. Fuck.
20:18
It's a good thing I'm Italian or else I'd be offended.
20:21
You're like, oh, that sounds pretty nice.
20:23
Actually, I could go for a cannoli.
20:26
A little gabagool.
20:28
They got a little.
20:30
This whole this whole cast fucking rocks.
20:32
Olympia Dukakis is great.
20:34
It's just great to say her name. Yeah.
20:36
I love when she tells the girl I love when she threatens to beat the grandfather to death.
20:41
Oh, yeah. Like you give those dogs any more of my food.
20:43
I'm going to beat you to death.
20:45
Kick you to death. Kick you to death.
20:47
That's very specific.
20:49
Kick you to death is a really specific one.
20:51
I feel like the cast has a lot of depth, like you even care about the aunt
20:56
and uncle for no reason.
20:58
And he's got the moon and it's his moon, you know.
21:01
And he's such a weird uncle.
21:03
It's nice to have that like super sweet, but kind of off.
21:06
I love the way he starts it.
21:08
I love the way he starts the moon story by I never told you this
21:11
because it's not really a story.
21:15
I want to.
21:16
I saw your father outside with the moon.
21:19
You didn't see nothing.
21:21
Cosmos, a fucking dick.
21:22
I love him.
21:25
Him with the people talking about plumbing is so good.
21:28
He's just like disgust at least scraping at that pipe.
21:33
Look at this. Look at this.
21:35
When he gets called out for his philandery at the end
21:37
and just like slams the table and sits back down, it's like, well, that's over.
21:41
Yeah.
21:43
My big stand.
21:44
I mean, and his wife just kind of takes it all, almost cheats on him
21:49
and then walks it back.
21:50
It's kind of like, well, that the whole story is about how women are better than men.
21:54
Yeah.
21:55
I love a turn.
21:57
I remember the line exactly.
21:58
But when she's having dinner with John Mahoney,
22:00
after he's gotten water thrown in his face the second time this film by a younger woman
22:05
and she's and she says, she's too young for you.
22:08
And he goes, I'm too old for me.
22:10
I relate to that statement.
22:13
They're no.
22:14
That feels accurate.
22:15
I mean, we're about 10 years older or 10 years younger than that right now.
22:18
We can we can we can feel that later.
22:20
Soon enough. Soon enough.
22:22
The Reaper is coming.
22:25
And I think we're all middle aged here.
22:27
Yeah, but John, not me. I'm not even 40.
22:29
I mean, neither am I.
22:31
OK. Yeah, I'm close.
22:33
Looming. We're all I mean, the three of us are close.
22:36
I don't know. Where are you at?
22:37
That's fair. I'm going to keep it anonymous and not even not even.
22:41
You know, got the grays.
22:43
Don't worry. You could be anywhere from 25 to 50.
22:48
I feel like that's the whole conversation we've had about this film.
22:51
So I'm just saying we could all play teenagers in the 90s.
22:54
Oh, absolutely.
22:57
Well, what about guarding tests?
22:58
How does everyone feel about the baseline for that ensemble
23:02
compared to the baseline of the Moonstruck ensemble?
23:07
I don't think in guarding tests like everybody stands out the same.
23:13
There's there are like background characters.
23:15
Yeah. A lot of the other Secret Service agents just kind of background.
23:20
Yeah. Now, Frederick, the nurse is awesome.
23:22
I can't remember his name.
23:23
Yeah, I think the uncle from Harry Potter.
23:27
Yeah. The the cast for Moonstruck just stands out nicely.
23:32
Yeah. Now the story is more about the family.
23:35
Yeah, it's a family story.
23:37
Family love.
23:39
Hmm. Agree.
23:42
Phrasing Nick Phrasing.
23:44
And but yeah, I mean, before we jump into guarding test, though,
23:48
in like a full on way, like more on Moonstruck.
23:52
Yeah. Like I still love it.
23:53
I love it's a human story. It's a very yeah.
23:56
I lost my head.
23:58
I lost my bra.
24:00
Johnny has his and Johnny has his bride.
24:04
Bring me the big knife.
24:06
Josie asked me if I think that he fucks with the hand on or the hand off.
24:11
Oh, I'm definitely. Yeah.
24:13
That's what I was asking about attachment.
24:14
Fuck with the hand. Yeah.
24:15
You put the one on that goes like this and then.
24:18
Well, what's the other one go like like this?
24:20
Yeah, like that. Oh, yeah. OK.
24:23
I can wait. And then it's got the one that goes kind of like this.
24:25
Oh, that's wild. No, you can't do that.
24:27
That's illegal. Listen, man.
24:29
Not in his house.
24:32
Only in 48 states. Yeah.
24:34
Yeah. Chrissy, the woman who works at the bread shop, she has such a small role,
24:38
but like her weird obsession with him or weird watery eyes.
24:42
Like I really like him.
24:44
He doesn't know the bread shop is also wild.
24:46
Like, let's talk about how fucking crazy it's the 80s.
24:49
It shouldn't have like a dungeon with a guy loading like.
24:53
Yeah. Stuff into this.
24:55
It literally looks like any underground tour
25:00
in like a major metropolitan area.
25:02
Right. It's like, oh, these buildings are flooded out and burned and haunted.
25:06
And this is where we make bread.
25:10
This is my favorite fecaccia stone.
25:13
You know, it was probably like I had normal ovens originally,
25:16
and then he lost his hand. He's like, no, it needs to be darker.
25:19
Fair. I need a place to shovel coal.
25:22
Yeah. I mean, what is it?
25:24
Queens? Yeah. Right.
25:26
So I don't know if every place in Queens has that, you know,
25:30
just their own little dungeon, you know, their own little Nicholas Cage waiting there.
25:35
I do want to get Queen's thing.
25:37
I do want to talk about the lost art of like painted background.
25:41
Yeah, I agree. I feel like that that kind of really just went out of fashion.
25:45
It's probably because of higher definition stuff.
25:47
Yeah. But like there's there's artistry to that.
25:50
That's really cool.
25:51
And it's just gone. Yeah.
25:53
Now let's just make a backgrounds.
25:57
OK. Sean, Sean, quit the podcast.
26:04
Get the big knife.
26:05
Look, it would be faster and cheaper
26:08
and we wouldn't have to deal with all those fucking artists and their opinions.
26:12
Yeah. God damn artists.
26:16
All right. Favorite scene from this movie.
26:18
Wow. Run around the table.
26:21
Oh, the first time Sharon Cage
26:25
hook up and she like she's making him breakfast or food or.
26:29
Yeah, she's like, I'm going to make you a steak.
26:32
I don't want a steak.
26:33
You're going to eat a steak and you're going to like it.
26:36
I want it well done.
26:38
You're going to eat it bloody.
26:39
It's good for your blood.
26:41
And then like he eats two bites of the steak and then just fucking sweeps
26:45
the table. He's he just picks her up.
26:49
She's like, where are you taking me to the bed?
26:52
I love it.
26:53
It's just the manliest
26:56
sex scene that I've ever seen.
26:59
Nicholas Cage.
27:00
I like how like they go to the bed.
27:02
She's like, take me.
27:03
Leave nothing left for Johnny.
27:06
And then they get up in the middle of the night to look at the moon
27:10
and go back to bed.
27:12
And the next morning, she wakes up and she's like, Holy fuck.
27:15
It's Cosmos Moon. Moon spells.
27:17
She was moon struck.
27:19
She was.
27:20
That's hard to beat.
27:21
I don't think you can really beat that scene.
27:22
That is probably the best scene.
27:23
But other good ones.
27:25
I mean, the dinner table scene at the end is just when everyone's like kind of
27:30
figuring their shit out and filtering in.
27:33
And every time somebody comes to the door, it's like, oh, it's going to be Johnny.
27:36
No, it's the aunt and uncle.
27:38
No, it's this person.
27:40
I think I think the opening scenes really good, too.
27:42
I think the Italian restaurant,
27:46
you got the waiter who's been his waiter for Bobo Bobo, the waiter.
27:50
And he's like, this this is our loyal.
27:52
Johnny's been our customer for 30 years.
27:55
You know, it's like you get you kind of get brought into the movie
27:58
through the Italian restaurants, I would say.
28:01
Also, Bobo fucking rules.
28:03
Every Bobo in every cage movie is good.
28:05
All two of us.
28:07
All Bobo's what other Bobo are we talking retirement plan?
28:10
I mean, plan. Oh, yeah, you're right.
28:12
Yeah. Ron Perlman plays an excellent Bobo.
28:15
Ron Perlman's Bobo could definitely kill the other Bobo.
28:18
So my best friend growing up was Bobo.
28:21
So I had a Bobo. Yeah.
28:22
Oh, my God. He's in Korea now.
28:24
He's a six foot five Korean man.
28:26
You know, that's that's Bobo.
28:28
Exactly. That's not where I expected that story to go.
28:31
That's a good Bobo. That's a good Bobo.
28:32
It's kind of like when you told me about your cobbler or Rachel's cobbler.
28:36
Like an actual cobbler.
28:38
Remind me of a story that I told you.
28:40
I was talking about like some boots and Rachel's like, Oh, you should take him
28:42
to my car. I'm like, you have a cobbler and I'm like, like a telling.
28:45
I was like, no, Chinese. I'm like, what?
28:47
Oh, yeah, that's Rachel's cobbler.
28:49
I love that. You're like, yeah, like that.
28:51
Sorry, you told me it's a conversation between you and Rachel.
28:56
You were in the car. I was in the car.
28:58
Yeah. Reminds me of that story.
29:01
You were tangentially associated with.
29:03
I don't remember the I didn't remember the facts
29:05
until I worked my way back.
29:07
That's how memory works. We got there.
29:09
That's fine. Do you think do you think John has a haberdasher?
29:12
No, I've asked him.
29:14
I wish I'd be awesome. Buy his hats off the rack.
29:18
With a head like that, you got to get custom fits, John.
29:21
Gosh, what's the regular at Scott?
29:24
Oh, yeah. He's definitely got a haberdasher.
29:26
You know, that dude does.
29:27
You know, nice hats.
29:28
He does. I walked by.
29:30
I walked by his house once not knowing it was his.
29:32
I just like looked in a window and there was just a wall of hats.
29:34
I'm like, Scott, I'm here.
29:36
I wrote a song. I wrote a song about it once called How Many Stetsons on My Wall.
29:44
Did you have a favorite scene?
29:45
I mean, I love I lost my hand.
29:47
I lost my bride.
29:49
I love the old Italian woman who puts a curse on the plane.
29:52
Oh, yeah. She was pretty cool, too.
29:55
That's those are the pieces of this.
29:56
I'm like, the fuck? Why is this necessary?
29:58
It's not weird.
29:59
I wrote this movie. Yeah.
30:01
Did you know they weren't going to have Nicolas Cage do it?
30:05
But Cher request like said she would not do the movie if it wasn't Nicolas Cage.
30:10
I love that piece of trivia on this.
30:12
Yeah, because I cannot imagine who it would have been.
30:15
You know, well, also imagine writing this film and being like, well,
30:19
we have to have Cher.
30:20
It's like how many movies is Cher even been in?
30:22
Like you could have other people do this role, but obviously it is a time and a place.
30:27
It makes the movie.
30:28
I said this last time, like I've never quite gotten like Cher
30:33
as you know, like I don't get the big deal.
30:35
And I saw this movie like, I get it. Cher's great.
30:38
Good and splash, too.
30:40
She was in splash.
30:42
Am I misremembering?
30:43
Wasn't she? I don't know.
30:44
This is an area of film that I don't rewatch.
30:48
The 80s Nazi mermaid films.
30:51
Oh, no, I'm sorry. That's that's a different one.
30:53
That's Darryl Hannah.
30:54
No, Darryl Hannah is great.
30:56
Also, yeah, I guess she was in Mermaids.
30:58
Sorry. Oh, God.
30:59
Get your what a misremembering film
31:03
in order.
31:03
Fucking mer films.
31:04
Where cats mer films.
31:08
Oh, man. I don't like what you're becoming here.
31:12
So in the matrix of good movie, good cage, bad movie, bad cage, good, bad, bad, good.
31:19
Where do you put this one in?
31:20
Oh, I put this up.
31:21
This is towards the top.
31:23
It's the top 10.
31:25
My dad was a huge fan of this movie as a kid.
31:28
Very strangely, like my dad was my dad was a cop.
31:32
But like drank white wine, listened to share and love moon struck.
31:36
You know that that kind of that kind of vibe.
31:39
This is a cop I can I can get behind.
31:42
And both my grandpa's were cops and my other my grandpa's favorite movie
31:46
was guarding tests.
31:47
So this is a good kind of alignment of my dad versus my grandpa almost.
31:52
I was going to say the mustache makes sense now.
31:54
Right. That's our tradition.
31:55
The only thing I carry over.
31:57
We have to.
32:01
I think this is a great movie and I love Nicholas Cage's performance in it.
32:05
Just even the little things when he comes in at the end
32:09
and shares trying to get him out of the house and the mom's like,
32:13
do you want to help me? It's like, yes, this is a caporelli cover.
32:18
What's the last name? His last names.
32:20
What's their last name?
32:21
Camareri last name, but I can't remember what theirs is.
32:24
Yeah, it's like this chair.
32:25
Sure. Yeah, thank you.
32:27
Thank you, shares mom. I would love some oatmeal. Yeah.
32:30
I bet it's going to be good. Yeah.
32:33
Well, I think it's a great movie and a terrific performance.
32:36
Very full performance.
32:37
It's got a good range and he cared the whole time.
32:41
Yeah, he was engaged.
32:42
So I loved it.
32:43
I like how they both have a glow up halfway through.
32:45
Yeah. Clean up real nice.
32:47
Mm hmm.
32:48
Yeah, this is definitely in a it grew on me for sure.
32:54
I think that I would count it as a
32:58
very good, very good on both sides.
33:01
Good. Yeah.
33:02
Very good. Very good.
33:03
Very good. Even some might say Bill.
33:08
Molta Bene.
33:10
All right. Well, guarding test, then let's let's talk that one out.
33:18
What you got segwayed.
33:22
He just said what the next movie was.
33:24
Yeah, that's how you do it. Yeah, I know.
33:26
Feels like a segue.
33:29
It's a meh movie overall.
33:32
It's a weird one.
33:33
It suffers from trying to do more than it's capable of,
33:38
and it's only trying to do two things.
33:41
Yes. Yeah.
33:42
Well, it's two movies.
33:43
Yeah, it's two movies just jumbled into one movie.
33:46
Yeah.
33:47
The the thriller aspect of the kidnapping comes
33:52
too late in the movie.
33:54
Like you get like that sense of like shit gets weird
33:59
with the driver and whatnot.
34:01
But yeah, it doesn't mesh in super well.
34:05
The whole having brain cancer thing or the brain tumor doesn't do anything
34:10
for this film because this is a movie about her trying to like reconnect
34:15
with you with another human being because she's dying or it's just there
34:20
for no reason.
34:21
And then she gets kidnapped.
34:22
And that's kind of what brings them all together in the end.
34:25
Well, I mean, assuming what's it probably came out with ninety five ish.
34:31
I'm guessing we're all supposed to think this is just Barbara Bush, right?
34:35
Or is it supposed to be?
34:37
You know, Reagan, like regardless, no one cares about this person at all.
34:43
Yeah, right. So it's like the fact that they make her a total
34:48
terrible person in it doesn't help because the whole society
34:52
already hates this person off the bat.
34:55
Yeah, I feel like they really could have leaned into their
34:58
growing friendship way more and just fuck the kidnapping plot.
35:02
Yeah. Or just just make it more of a kidnapping movie.
35:06
Or make it a kidnapping movie.
35:07
Right. It's like, go one. Yeah.
35:09
Yeah. Well, like I was when I was watching it, we get to the point
35:13
where right before she gets kidnapped and she's having her picnic
35:17
and he goes and like checks her pulse because she falls asleep.
35:20
It's like, I would have been a great time for like, it's like, oh, God,
35:23
let's get to the hospital.
35:24
They find out they talk about it like you connect all those threads.
35:27
No, they just she gets kidnapped by characters
35:30
that we've never been introduced to.
35:32
I so I was just sitting here not listening and I was thinking to myself,
35:37
this movie would be so great if it was like weekend at Tess's
35:41
and she dies early on.
35:43
But then the president's coming to town for that library.
35:46
So Nicholas Cage in the secret secret service has to like
35:51
weekend at Bernie's Earth through this whole thing.
35:54
I would be a much better film.
35:55
I man, I'm already feeling much better about this movie.
35:58
I do like that idea that would be really fucking funny.
36:03
You think we can get them to do it? Yeah.
36:06
I'm just Carlisle.
36:12
Yeah, definitely.
36:15
Can puppets. Yeah.
36:16
Full Marionette.
36:19
How do they keep Bernie from smelling in that movie?
36:22
Axe body spray.
36:24
This is before Axe.
36:25
I mean, we can have Bernie's.
36:26
It's only one weekend and then we can have Bernie's two.
36:31
He's underwater. A lot of that movie.
36:32
It's true. He's a zombie.
36:34
Yeah. So he's like mostly clean.
36:36
I don't know.
36:37
Well, I so I probably just processed this out of my brain.
36:42
There was a second one. Yeah.
36:43
Oh, yeah. He gets turned into a zombie.
36:45
Yeah. By a witch doctor.
36:47
So he wants his treasure. He's fueled by music.
36:49
Yeah. And reggae music makes him walk like steel.
36:53
But he get he is empowered by the sound of steel drums. Yeah.
36:58
You haven't seen.
36:59
National Weekend at Bernie's, too.
37:01
Oh, my God, man. It's so good.
37:04
I mean, it's not, but.
37:06
That sounds so stupid.
37:11
You're going to go home and watch it, aren't you?
37:13
I'm going to do my best.
37:16
Oh, man.
37:18
I'm pretty sure I got all that right.
37:20
You nailed it. Yeah.
37:22
A movie I saw once when I was like nine.
37:24
All of that could be lies.
37:26
And it's just so good that I want it to be true.
37:31
It is true. It is true.
37:32
I kind of wish that Sean had just made that up off the dome.
37:35
And I went along with it and was like, yeah, it's totally bad.
37:38
That's what goes on.
37:40
I did this in.
37:41
I was describing a scene from what's the train movie?
37:47
The ice fall.
37:48
And the snow piercer.
37:49
Snowpiercer, I was describing a scene from Snowpiercer in a group chat.
37:53
It's like, yeah, it's like when Allison Peele pulls the Uzi
37:55
from the basket of eggs and shoots Captain America.
37:59
Now you're all wondering if I'm fucking with you.
38:01
Go watch. No, I like the three different train movies we came up with.
38:05
Yeah. Bullet train.
38:07
Three times a Yuma.
38:08
Good choices. No, sir.
38:10
Three times a Yuma is definitely the best of those three.
38:12
Oh, yeah. You fucking rules.
38:15
I don't know. Bullet train is really good.
38:17
I fucking love bullet train.
38:19
I mean, Snowpiercer.
38:20
Great movie. Great, great, great.
38:23
We're just a bunch of fucking train enthusiasts.
38:25
Yeah. We're a train pod.
38:29
So, Ian, why did your grandpa like this movie so much?
38:33
Well, so my grandpa watched mostly Westerns.
38:37
I think this just kind of aligns with a shitty Western.
38:40
In some ways, you know, it's it's playful, it's fun, everything's going fine.
38:45
And then all of a sudden, guys got to take care of business.
38:49
And I think that's kind of the way a lot of people from that generation saw Phil.
38:55
Yeah, that's fair.
38:56
You need to take charge moment.
38:57
You need to take charge moment, which I think is who wrote this
39:01
was probably that of that generation.
39:03
And you're like, oh, this is great.
39:05
This whole this whole story kind of like
39:08
kind of like cowboy who is told to sit down and relax and not worry.
39:12
And then all of a sudden, boom, it's your time. You know. Sure.
39:15
He's the tamed cowboy.
39:16
He's like got the home out on the ranch or whatever.
39:21
Exactly. And as soon as his lady gets taken away,
39:25
there's many multiple there's many Nicolas Cage movies that are exactly that.
39:29
Yeah. Oh, we need now is the stuff bunny.
39:31
Then he finds his spine. Yeah.
39:33
Oh, that's great. I love it.
39:35
I do like the relationship by the end, because he just like his character
39:38
just wants to be guarding the president, guarding someone of import.
39:42
He wants like he wants his big action moment towards the end of the film
39:46
to track down the kidnappers.
39:48
He shoots off the toe of the chauffeur who like helped with the kidnapping.
39:52
Yeah. Earl Earl.
39:54
When they finally like get to test, you know, it's like the cop,
39:59
the other detective was like, he shot a man to find you.
40:02
Like, no, you finally you finally got to shoot someone to kill him.
40:06
No, ma'am.
40:08
And she's like kind of ashamed of him.
40:09
Disappointing. Yeah.
40:11
Oh, after all your practice. Yeah.
40:12
Yeah. What was the point of all that practice?
40:15
Well, the other side of it is like, I mean, look, it's the 90s.
40:19
How do you kidnap someone in the 90s?
40:22
Like you're going to what are you expecting from this?
40:25
Like you're going to be rich and walk away.
40:27
A million dollars, a million million bucks.
40:29
They asked for 15 million.
40:30
15 million bucks, which used to mean something.
40:33
Sure. But like that's like 45 million now.
40:36
Josh, tell us.
40:38
It's just like robbing a bank now.
40:40
It's like, do you really think you can successfully rob a bank
40:44
and just walk away from it?
40:45
OK, so I'm from Kansas City and I'm a Chiefs fan.
40:49
And there was a Chiefs fan.
40:50
Oh, I know the mega.
40:51
Babadur. Yeah.
40:53
He robbed lots of banks.
40:54
He got about a million bucks out of it before getting caught.
40:56
That's a lot of work for a million.
40:58
It is a lot of work for a million bucks.
41:00
But yeah, but he got caught again.
41:02
That's the he did get caught. That's the thing.
41:04
But he did. He was on the spree for like a year and a half.
41:07
All about the rush.
41:08
Which one is that? Is that the one that dresses up like a wolf?
41:11
Yeah, yeah. That's that one.
41:12
Yeah. And also fuck the Kansas City Chiefs.
41:16
Yeah, that's right.
41:16
But are you you're a Niners fan?
41:18
I'm a Niners fan. Yeah, yeah.
41:19
I get it. Fair.
41:22
I mean, I just don't see the point of of kidnapping or or,
41:28
you know, robbing a bank.
41:29
You know, it's you're going to eventually get caught.
41:31
Yeah, absolutely.
41:33
And I don't know, like the house gets flash banged, like helicopter shows up.
41:37
And then we see the kidnappers beat to shit.
41:41
They got roughed up.
41:42
Yeah, that was the hardest this movie goes.
41:46
Like, just we're going to enter this home and just assault you.
41:51
And then they buried her.
41:52
That was the hardest and most honest this film got.
41:55
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
41:56
No, not warrant. Boom.
41:59
And then he gets off like from after shooting the guy.
42:02
She just calls the president and is like, I don't want anything to happen to him.
42:05
Well, yeah, obviously, I mean, he saved her life through that action.
42:09
No, I know. But.
42:10
And Earl was a shitty driver.
42:12
He was a piece of shit. Yeah.
42:14
Also, Earl, it was the 90s.
42:16
Like everyone just kind of assumed whatever a president says is good.
42:20
Yeah. Now it's a different time.
42:21
Different times. Yeah.
42:24
Now presidents have Twitter. Yeah.
42:27
And ex presidents have truths.
42:29
Yeah. I love that his stock is just dropping consistently.
42:34
Oh, man. Did you see that they're
42:37
riding the like NASDAQ or whatever,
42:40
claiming like market tampering through short selling?
42:44
Incredible. Like people are short selling our stock.
42:47
And that's making it worthless.
42:49
Yeah, it's worthless because it is worthless.
42:52
You fuck. Yeah.
42:55
Apparently now, meanwhile, Goon coin, you can get it through the podcast.
43:00
That's totally legitimate.
43:01
Just send me five dollars in an envelope and I'll send you one.
43:05
Goon coin. Yeah, you'll be issued one goon coin.
43:08
It's guaranteed to go up.
43:10
I love that. Do I get it?
43:11
Do I get any good coin for being here today?
43:14
Two good coins.
43:17
Love that. We have to bribe our guests.
43:22
Worthless crypto.
43:24
I used to live in a house that we call it physical.
43:26
I used to live in a house we called Goon House.
43:32
And we were all such trashy people.
43:36
There was 13 guys living in this house.
43:37
Holy shit. 13 goons.
43:39
And so if you walked around barefoot in said house,
43:43
you would get a thing called Goon foot.
43:47
This is funny because Gooning has its own connotation.
43:50
And yeah, different vibes now to different vibes.
43:52
So yeah, we would.
43:54
Goon foot was a was a real part of my life.
43:56
So guarding tests on the grid, bad movie.
44:00
Mid cage. Agreed.
44:04
Yeah, I I wouldn't go as far as to say it's bad, but it's not great.
44:09
It's fine. I think I described it last time as like a Sunday afternoon.
44:14
It's on TV and you're watching it with your dad or uncle
44:18
or something like that kind of movie. Yeah.
44:20
Or grandpa. It's exactly that.
44:22
It's a you're watching it on TV because it's on
44:24
and somebody has some minor interest in it.
44:28
But it's definitely a Sunday afternoon film.
44:30
It tries to be more than it is.
44:32
Yeah, it tries to wake you up in the second half.
44:35
But it just it just is two movies, two different movies.
44:38
And like I said, it's kind of a Western and it kind of fits into that film.
44:42
But I don't think he really sends it home at the end.
44:46
It's kind of meh. Yeah. Yep. Yep.
44:49
But a good cage. I enjoy Nicolas Cage.
44:52
Yeah, he's a good character.
44:53
I mean, he's kind of like you said, he's sort of a gun nut dork.
44:57
You know, really just wants to have his piece of the action.
45:00
But he's like a nice guy ultimately, you know, like his whole life is just the job.
45:05
Yeah. And like he wants that hero like cop moment.
45:08
He wants that's what he wants his legacy to be.
45:10
And like we see his apartment for a second. It's sad.
45:14
Oh, yeah. With like they're like a samurai sword in there.
45:17
He's like, Oh, God.
45:20
Oh, he's an incel.
45:22
I love when he comes back and Frederick's just like, Oh, you're back
45:25
to pick up your accoutrement.
45:27
And he's like, What?
45:28
He's like, You're back to pick up your shit.
45:32
Frederick fucking rocks.
45:34
He's the best part.
45:37
This is definitely.
45:40
Oh, so I'll put this in the same category as like Captain Kareli's,
45:46
where it's definitely glorifying
45:50
an unglorifiable situation like he's being kidnapped.
45:54
He's held at will.
45:56
And he's got Stockholm syndrome by the end of it.
45:59
And you just have to say, Oh, he's better for it.
46:02
He's a better man.
46:04
Oh, I'll also compare this to Captain Kareli's mandolin in that
46:08
it's kind of just a fun, like
46:11
awkward, like little movie until it's really not.
46:16
Yeah. Then it gets super violent and weird.
46:19
It's cute. It's not.
46:21
And then it's over. Over.
46:23
Yeah. That doesn't really.
46:25
That's the thing. It's it's not an action film.
46:28
It's a weird, cute film.
46:30
And then it becomes an action film.
46:32
So it just doesn't have any place to go there. Yeah.
46:36
I would love it if this movie
46:39
took like an eight millimeter style
46:43
turn where it starts out cute
46:46
and then it gets really fucking disgusting and like hardcore.
46:51
And then there's a fight in a cemetery
46:53
where he has to beat the machine to death.
46:56
And then like he comes back out and it's just cute at the end again.
47:00
Like, I want just like a momentary darkness.
47:03
Yeah. But like way more violent.
47:07
Got it.
47:07
I like that we've managed to now talk about both of the movies
47:10
that we're talking about next week in eight millimeter and Captain.
47:13
Kareli's.
47:14
No, I think it's perfect.
47:16
Nice work. Yeah.
47:18
A little primer for you.
47:19
Adam on for that.
47:20
I'll have fun. Yeah, it'll be a good time.
47:21
You know, your classic Captain Kareli eight millimeter weekend.
47:25
Sounds great.
47:26
Oh, man, I can't wait to see what you think.
47:30
Talk about dildos again.
47:32
Oh, and there's a there's a double Batman connection in these films.
47:35
Got Mondros and Schumacher.
47:37
Oh, yeah, true.
47:39
Batman. Batman.
47:41
Mm hmm. Batman's.
47:42
Batman. Well, that man.
47:44
Well, he was also the mayor of Gotham City in The Dark Knight.
47:48
Fun. C. Senor.
47:51
I don't know why I'm continuing that.
47:53
Well, I think we kind of already know the answer,
47:55
but we do have to put it on tape.
47:57
Which movie advances?
47:59
Yeah. And what would which of these two movies would you put forward
48:02
knowing that your opinion does not matter?
48:04
Knowing that my opinion does not matter, I would say Moonstruck,
48:08
because I think we talked about Moonstruck earnestly and honestly
48:12
and had a great conversation.
48:14
And then we kind of fucked off
48:17
the rest of the. Correct.
48:19
So I think we all know that.
48:20
But I'll let you all earnestly decide.
48:23
I think Moonstruck's an easy choice on this one.
48:26
Yeah, it was so refreshing to watch it again.
48:28
It's like Weatherman and how nice it is to just sit down
48:33
and watch it and be like, Weatherman is just so good.
48:36
I enjoy every minute of this.
48:38
I don't regret watching a movie.
48:40
Like, I don't think about other things I need to do.
48:42
It's nice.
48:43
What did Guardian test go up against originally?
48:45
Can we all just talk about Weatherman for a minute now?
48:48
Yeah, that was great.
48:49
Man, imagine Michael Caine is your dad and you walked around the city
48:52
with a bow and arrow. Done.
48:55
And life. Just Michael Caine.
48:57
Just my favorite part of that film is just Michael Caine going,
48:59
What's all this sucking and fucking I'm hearing about?
49:03
Yeah, they call your daughter Camel.
49:06
It went up against a matchstick man.
49:08
That's right. Wow.
49:10
I preferred matchstick men.
49:11
These guys did not get it, did not do it for me.
49:15
It's just so transparent from the beginning that I couldn't.
49:20
It's a good film.
49:22
The daughter character just.
49:25
There's some gross daddy stuff in that.
49:27
But I don't know. Of course.
49:28
Of course, but it's still a little better film than guarding tests.
49:32
I don't know.
49:34
Ah, it didn't do it for me.
49:35
This is how the show goes. Yeah.
49:38
It. Oh, sweet.
49:40
This is why your opinion doesn't matter.
49:41
Also, my opinion doesn't matter.
49:43
Also, since since we've just did the this preamble for the last hour.
49:47
So this podcast, we take 64 Nicholas Cage movies
49:50
and put them in a bracket style system and whittle it down
49:53
until we eventually get down to the most cages film as decided by Nick and myself.
49:58
That's us. Yeah, that is us.
50:01
So Moonstruck's going forward. Yeah. Awesome. Good choice.
50:05
Anything you want to promote or pitch out there?
50:07
Now to that, not much.
50:10
Hopefully one day I'll be back when you're getting down to the,
50:13
you know, nitty gritty.
50:15
Hopefully I can talk Moonstruck one more time.
50:18
Maybe if it makes it to the master eight.
50:20
I mean, given that you guys picked
50:24
guarding tests over matchstick, man, I don't know that
50:28
it will make it that far.
50:30
Do we know what we should know what's going up against by now?
50:33
I'm just going up against Army of One.
50:35
Oh, I fucking love Army of One.
50:37
God damn, that's such a good movie.
50:40
I'm sorry, Moonstruck.
50:42
Man, this country is the best goddamn chicken.
50:48
I'll go home and watch Army of One.
50:50
I'm sorry, everybody.
50:52
I promised to.
50:53
It's a perfect thing to go finish smoking meat, too.
50:56
Yeah, it's 420. Why not?
50:57
Yeah, yeah.
50:58
Penny boy.
51:00
All right.
51:00
Also my favorite sword fight ever.
51:02
Yeah, it's great.
51:03
They get so sourced together once they go, oh,
51:06
get stuck in the ceiling.
51:07
Yeah. What a dumb movie.
51:09
I love it.
51:10
Let's talk about Army of One for a minute.
51:12
No, we're done.
51:14
We're done.
51:15
Oh, what are we?
51:16
What are we talking about next week?
51:17
We already covered it.
51:17
It's eight millimeter in Captain Kareli's.
51:19
Don't forget to say thank you to Bill.
51:21
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
51:22
Thank you for listening.
51:23
And if you want to hang out with us on social media at all,
51:27
cage underscore match underscore pod or cage match pod,
51:30
we are on Patreon.
51:31
We're also on IMDB, which still chuffs me.
51:35
And I mean, you put us there.
51:36
I know I did all the work and it's great.
51:39
Put us there, but they let us.
51:41
They let us do it.
51:43
Those fools.
51:45
But if you do want to support us on Patreon,
51:47
you can find us at cage match and thank you to our sparkle buddies.
51:50
Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt, Adam and Bill
51:53
and to our cage dancers, Ira, John Freeman, Lance and Nathan.
51:59
I got there. Wow.
52:01
Nailed it. Impressive.
52:03
That's the most impressive part of the book.
52:04
Oh, thanks.
52:07
Me remembering 12 names.
52:10
Oh, no, that that many people will pay us for that.
52:13
That is the most impressive.
52:15
Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks.
52:29
What were you going to say?
52:30
Something about murder mysteries.
52:34
That's ham.
52:35
But then I was also just.
52:37
Ham piston sounds terrible.
52:40
It is prude.
52:44
No, that I just got thinking about that clock's Mermater song.
52:49
This is a song about murder.
52:50
Twenty thousand leagues under the sea.
52:56
Well, because we did we did mimosas at least once.
52:58
Oh, yeah, we've done them at least at least twice.
53:01
And then with the with Moonstruck, we did the champagne with the sugarcube.
53:04
Dude, for good luck.
53:07
Marissa. Yeah.
53:09
Are we getting Marissa back?
53:11
If Marissa wants to do Joe.
53:14
That could be fun.
53:16
That sentence is fun.
53:19
Eric doesn't listen to this anymore.
53:21
Probably not. Can't blame him.
53:24
There's a lot of stuff in this one you can't use for me.
53:26
No, that's true.
53:28
This is going to be a delicate cut.
53:30
Somehow it's all going to get cut in a way that I sound more offensive.
53:34
That's the best way.
53:36
That's fine.
53:37
We just have an audio filter that makes all the horrible things sound like you.
53:39
Hmm. You just turn the treble up.