Latest / Doing Marriage Well / Rewrite Your Marriage Sex Script for Mutual Pleasure
Transcript
- 0:00Doing Marriage Well for July 3rd, 2026 Rewrite your marriage sex script for mutual pleasure.
- 0:07We have scripts we follow when we have sex, and many of us only use one or two scripts.
- 0:12The most common is foreplay, moving to intercourse, and then thrusting until both spouses climax.
- 0:19If she doesn't orgasm from intercourse, he takes care of her in some other way
- 0:22before or after. Roll over, go to sleep, and repeat next time.
- 0:27There's nothing wrong with this script, provided it works well for both husband and wife.
- 0:32The reality is there are a lot of couples where the husband is having good or
- 0:35great sex and the wife is having okay or poor sex.
- 0:38And often the guy has no idea his wife is not enjoying it nearly as much as
- 0:42he is, because she has never told him that their sex script is not doing it for her.
- 0:47Many women come into marriage with no real idea what would make sex good for them.
- 0:51This could be from inexperience, but it also happens when the woman has had
- 0:54one or more partners. Non-married sex is not usually great for women.
- 0:59So a couple gets married, and they follow the man's sex script because it's
- 1:02the only one on the table. The woman may assume it's her fault it's not working for her.
- 1:07If she doesn't blame herself, she may not speak up out of fear or embarrassment.
- 1:11Besides, he is clearly enjoying it, and she doesn't want to mess that up.
- 1:15If you're a husband, please assume your current sex script is not as good for
- 1:19your wife as it is for you.
- 1:21If you're a wife, and sex is falling short, please speak up.
- 1:24I've talked to a lot of men about sex, and the vast majority would want to know
- 1:28if she were not getting as much enjoyment out of sex as he is.
- 1:32Once you know the current script is not ideal, it's time to try some new scripts.
- 1:36Below are a few ideas to get you thinking.
- 1:39Use two positions. A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy
- 1:44found women who normally use more than one position report significantly higher
- 1:48levels of sexual satisfaction and relationship passion.
- 1:52As most men are done once they climax, begin with what works for her and then
- 1:56switch after she climaxes.
- 1:58Take turns. Using hands, mouth, toys, and or intercourse as desired,
- 2:03focus on one spouse until they orgasm.
- 2:05Then focus on the other spouse.
- 2:07If he tends to fall asleep after he climaxes, she should orgasm first.
- 2:12If he can continue, try both ways.
- 2:14Masturbate together. Some folks love doing this, some have no use for it.
- 2:19But you won't know until you try it.
- 2:21If you lie head to feet, you can watch each other.
- 2:24Stop short. Orgasm is great, but not every sex act has to end with orgasms.
- 2:30You can touch and enjoy each other sexually without getting so worked up you have to climax.
- 2:34This is a great way to have sex more often. Note, this won't work for most younger
- 2:39men, but as we age, we can enjoy fondling or even penetration for what it offers
- 2:43with and sometimes without orgasm.
- 2:46If your script is not resulting in great sex for both of you,
- 2:49it's time to get a new script. This is Paul, and doing sex well requires the right script.