Latest / The Rooted Woman Podcast / How to Stop Overthinking: A 3 Step Application to Taking Thoughts Captive
Transcript
- Courtney: Welcome to the Rooted Women Podcast, the place for Christian women who are ready to grow deeper in their faith, find freedom from the things keeping them stuck, and confidently walk in the calling God has placed on their lives. Here we're getting rooted in biblical truth, having honest conversations about real life, and learning what it looks like to actually live out our faith. I'm Courtney, your host, and I'm so glad you're here. Let's get rooted. Can I be so honest with you right now? I'm going to be recording today's episode on the very thing that I'm struggling with. And sometimes that happens. We plan a talk or we have been praying for somebody over a specific area, and then all of a sudden it feels like we are being stretched in that area too. Today I'm going to be talking about overthinking. And I know that if you've ever been in survival mode, if you've ever struggled, if you are have ever even been a little type A about anything. Overthinking can be like your best friend at times, okay? I have been there when it has absolutely consumed me and I am there in the thick of it right now. As I'm in this transitional period of my life right now, I am constantly overthinking and then resurrendering and overthinking and resurrendering. So we're gonna talk about it and I'm just gonna be transparent and let you know that I'm right there in it with you. If you feel like this episode is for you, link arms with me because we're gonna pray for each other at the end. Okay, When I say overthinking, it could be the simple overthinking, like, I can't make this decision or I've been mulling it over in my mind for several days. But a lot of the times it's like eleven o'clock at night and the house is quiet and you know that you should be asleep, but instead you're replaying a conversation that you had in the afternoon. Did I sound rude? Should I have said that differently? Should I have, you know, texted her that? Should I text her again? And then you're like, No, that'll make it weird, like If I don't text her, does she think that I'm upset? And somewhere in there, your brain is like shifting tracks a little bit, okay? And now you're thinking about the decision you still haven't made and the to-do list that is completely undone. I've been there, okay? And the thing that God has been stirring in you for months at a time, right? And you're asking, is this really God? And what if I'm wrong? And what if I start and it doesn't go well? Or what if I make this choice and it's the wrong one? What will people think of me? Whew, if that's you, I want you to know that you're not broken, you're not alone. I have been there and like I said, I am I'm walking with you right now, okay? But I don't think that we were made to live in this never-ending loop that it feels like. Okay, so today we're gonna talk about how to actually get out of it. So first we're gonna name the loop, like what overthinking actually is, why it feels so I don't know, over overwhelming. And then second, we're going to turn that loop into a prayer. What? Yes, you can do that. And then third, we are going to move into the next faithful step. I talk about the next faithful step, the next right thing. I know a couple of other creators that move in that direction too. And it really just is a constant surrender to the Holy Spirit. At the end, I'm going to give you one simple practice that you can do today in about 10 minutes with a pen and a piece of paper. So let's just dive into talking about our anchor verse for the day, okay? Proverbs 3, 5 through 6. You might know it well if you have grown up in church, if you've been in church for a little bit of time. It's used often, and I want it to be our anchor today. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. This was actually the first verse that my daughter ever memorized, and I think that it is such an important one to not lean on our own understanding. I think if you have been Overthinking, most of the time you are leaning on your own understanding with your literal whole body weight. It's believing that if I just think about this long enough, if I run every scenario, if I can predict every reaction, if I can anticipate every outcome, then I'll finally feel safe enough to move in the direction that I think that I should go. But here's the problem: you will never think your way into peace. You can't outplan uncertainty, and there will always be more what-ifs. I'm gonna say that again. You will never think your way into your way into peace. You can't outplan uncertainty. And there will always be there will always be one more what if. And I want to be gentle because I know a lot of us didn't learn to overthink on accident. Maybe you grew up in a home where you had to read the room in order to feel or stay safe. Maybe you've been burned before and now you your mind just like tries to protect you by staying 10 steps ahead. Maybe you're a mom and you're carrying the mental load of an entire house load, and your brain literally never gets to clock out. And that makes sense. There's grace for that. But grace doesn't mean that we stay there. God loves you too much to leave you living inside. Of your head, okay. And one quick important note: if your anxious thoughts feel constant, overwhelming, or are affecting your sleep, your body, your ability to function, please talk to somebody about it. Don't let it go on for too long and know that my inbox is always open to sit here and pray with you. getting help is not a lack of faith, it's actually stewardship. And today's you know, overall theme is about everyday overthinking that most of us wrestle with. But if you need more support than that, that's okay. I have been there and I did get more support than that, and it was one of the best choices that I made. I wanted to disclaimer that today because sometimes we need that extra help. Okay, now we're gonna name the loop. Takeaway number one, okay, is going to be identifying and naming the loop. You cannot take a thought captive if you do not recognize it as a thought. Most of the time when we're overthinking, we don't think I'm overthinking. We think I'm being responsible, I'm being careful, I'm just processing. So here's a simple way to tell the difference. Processing moves you forward. Overthinking moves you in circles. Saying it again. Processing moves you forward. Overthinking moves you in circles. Processing will sound like, what do I know? What do I need in this situation? And what is my next step? And that will land you in the direction that you need to go. Overthinking will sound like, but what if? But what about this? But what will they think? And it never actually lands somewhere, it just stays in this overall loop. Paul gives us language for what to do with those looping thoughts in 2 Corinthians 10 5. We destroy arguments in every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ. Take every thought captive. That means your thoughts don't get to run free in your mind, okay, like your toddlers do around your home. You get to stop them. You get to look at them. You get to ask, Where did that come from? You get to say, Is this the truth? Here is what I found. Underneath almost every overthinking loop is one of three fears, okay? Almost always, and maybe yours doesn't fit into this, but I'm gonna name these three for today. The fear of being wrong. What if I make the wrong decision and I ruin everything? The fear of being rejected, this is number two. What if they don't like me or I don't get it or I'm misunderstood or they don't approve? And then the fear, this is number three, of not being enough. What if I start this and find out I'm actually not capable or people think I'm a fraud or we get that quote unquote imposter syndrome, right? When you name the fear underneath the loop, it loses some of its power. It stops being this foggy, swirling cloud, and it becomes one specific lie that you can hold on to and you can hold up to the truth of God. Okay, that's the way that you're going to stop it. If you grab it, you can stop it in its tracks and then you measure it against the word of God and you decide if that is a truth or a lie. James 15. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives generous generously to all without reproach and it will be given to him. You do not have to manufacture wisdom, okay? You do not need to conjure up the ability to be wise. The Lord will give it to you as you ask for it. Stay there all day long. Ask for wisdom all day long. If you have ever received a prayer from me, you have probably heard me say wisdom and discernment in that prayer because they are so important. To ask God for and not conjure up on our own. Okay. The fear of rejection meets the truth that you are already fully accepted in Christ Jesus. You're not auditioning to be a daughter of the king. Like you already are, right? So rejection doesn't stand up. To the truth. And the fear of not being enough then meets that you were never supposed to be enough on your own, because God's grace is the only grace that is sufficient. And that is the whole point of being a daughter of the king. So when we hear these fears, when we have these thoughts, when we take them captive, when we name them, we can measure it up against the word of God and realize, whoa, wait a second, I'm going on this loop and I don't actually have to, because these things are not true. Now, number two, we're gonna turn that loop into prayer. Okay. Here is something I had to learn the hard way. Taking a thought captive doesn't mean that you're just shoving it down and pretending it's not there. I promise that won't work. You have to take it somewhere, okay? I literally used to imagine myself grabbing the thought. That was the way that I would would stop it in its tracks. measuring it up against the word of God and then I would toss it out. Like I would physically look like I was throwing something. I would do this in my own prayer time because I knew I would not get out of the loop without that. Like I had to physically do it in order to be able to get myself out of that pattern of thinking. It just helped me. So you find what helps you and you do those things and you don't be ashamed about it. In Philippians four, six through seven, again a verse that we know so well. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And did you hear that last part? Will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Your mind is the very place where overthinking starts, lives, and exists, right? God promises to guard that with his peace. Not the peace that we come up with on our own. Again, these are not things that we are doing in our own strength. We have to practice these things in our own strength, but we have to trust that the Lord will meet us in that practice and give us everything we need. And notice the order in that verse too. The peace comes after your prayer, right? Not after you decide which step you're gonna take. Like you need to pray through it and trust that God's gonna meet you there and show you with wisdom and discernment the direction that you need to go, the choice that you need to make. The the action that you need to take to be able to move forward. Okay. Here's a practical shift that I want you to try. Every time you catch a what if, like, well, what if he says this? What if this happens? What if this? I want you to turn it into a Lord would you? Lord would you. Okay, so, so for example, what if this conversation with my friend, right? What if this conversation goes badly? becomes Lord would you cover this conversation with my friend with grace and show me, give me wisdom if there's anything that I personally need to make right. It takes your view off of that person in their opinion and their misunderstanding or misjudgment. And it surrenders you and gives you full responsibility for your next step with the Lord, right? It changes literally so many things just by changing those words right there. What about this one? what if I am not ready or equipped for this? Right. That was one of the lies that we said. Becomes Lord, would you prepare me for what you've called me to and give me courage to take the next steps? The next one is what if this all turns out wrong and it's just one of my next mistakes? This becomes Lord, would you fill every gap I leave and draw this person's heart to you or map out this in the way that it is according to your will, you know, fill in the blank for the given situation. And this is not a one-time thing. Some days you will pray these prayers 40 times before you even hit lunch, and that's okay. That's actually a really great thing. Every time you hand it back to God, you are literally training your mind. to run toward God instead of him. Remember I'm a behavior analyst, so we're taking that the we're looking at the antecedent, the behavior, the consequence, if you go back to the last episode and we are literally Replacing that behavior. In Isaiah twenty six three it says, You keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you. A mind stayed on Christ, not a mind that will wander, a mind that keeps coming back to him. And I also love Psalm ninety four nineteen because it is very, very honest. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul. I'm not asking you to pretend that you don't have worries, you don't have cares, that your mind's not racing. I'm asking you to just bring it, bring it to the Lord and trust that He will care for your heart and he will cheer your soul. Okay, takeaway number three is the next faithful step or the next right thing. This is the one that many people skip because they think that trusting God means waiting until we feel completely peaceful and completely sure before we move on. And so we don't take the next step because we're stuck in that loop, right? But when we do steps one and two, then we come to this. We can trust that the Lord's gonna work it all out for his glory, for our good. And go back to your anchor verse in all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths, right? That God will straighten it out as you walk on it. It doesn't have to look perfect when you get started and when you take that next step, but just trust that he is going to lead your steps. As you go through it. And remember, His word is a lamp unto your feet. So when you feel like you don't know, you turn to Him and you go to His word. You reach for that anchor verse that we talked about and you go through the scriptures and you you surrender to Him and you trust that He's gonna meet you in the middle of that. Jesus said it this way: if you go to Matthew 6:34, therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. You don't have to have grace for a decision that's made that will determine your next five years, right? You have grace for today's step. And overthinking is often just trying to take some of the things from tomorrow and figure it out today. And that is just not what the Lord has for us. As Christians, we should be surrendering and trusting the the path that He is mapping out for us. And we don't need to control the outcomes of tomorrow or next week or five years from now. We just need to make sure that we are being obedient, that we are surrendered, we are submitted today, right now, in this moment. Okay. And it can be moment by moment. You don't have to have it all perfectly figured out and feel like your day is just this perfectly surrendered. Sometimes I am doing a five minute by five minute process when I'm overthinking. That's what I've been doing. As I'm in this season of transition, I literally am like, okay, what if no, no. No, I'm not doing that. I'm grabbing the thought. Lord, I surrender it to you. You led me here. You're going to keep leading me and I'm giving it back to you. Throwing that thought away. It does not exist here anymore. And I keep doing that. And I have to do it a little more right now. And that's okay. Doesn't mean I'm regressing, I'm backtracking, or that I'm not as submitted as I was before. It means I'm in a transitional season and here's where I'm at. And I need to draw near to the Lord in a new way. And I'm going to do that. Okay. And I'm not going to overthink the fact that I need to draw near to him because I know that some of you will do that. You'll be sitting there overthinking. The fact that you need God. Like it makes you, I don't know, less independent, less successful, less confident, less qualified, less of a daughter or something that you need him more? No, that's the enemy talking, okay? You needing him more is a beautiful thing. Let yourself be in that place. So here's the question I want you to ask yourself when you feel stuck. What is the next best step? The next faithful step that I can take right now? It doesn't need to look perfect and I don't have to guarantee the outcome. I just need to take the next best step. And here's what happens when you take that step. The best part. Movement breaks the loop. Okay. Movement breaks the loop. You cannot overthink and obey God at the same time. The moment that you step, your mind has something real to respond to instead of a hundred imaginary scenarios. And you still might be overthinking when you get to the next step. And then you do it again and you follow this process again. That's what the process is for. Tru trusting the Lord is not the absence of having questions or or Even doubt, even doubt, okay. It doesn't mean that y you don't trust God just because there's an ounce of doubt inside of you. Trust is just moving forward with the questions that you have and surrendering them to Christ and asking God. And again, even changing the verbiage of the way that we are asking. Okay. Now we've gone through the three steps. I want to give you the practical application here. We're going to capture, cast, commit. Three C's, okay? This is really hard to come up with, so I hope you love this play on words. I'm like, what can they remember? What can they remember? Capture, cast, commit. Here is the way I want you to do it. Step one, capture. Set a timer for five minutes. Write down every single thought that comes into your head. I'm not joking, write it down real. Like if you are like, well, what if X, Y, and Z? And you're like, whoa, that's that's real serious. That's the worst case scenario. Write it down. We're gonna we're gonna call it out. We're gonna write it down. I don't want you to try to organize it, make it pretty, or edit it. Just write it how it comes into your mind because that's the way that you're gonna get it out. Okay. Overthinking wants us to stay vague so that we have more and more questions, but writing it out will make it visible and solidify it so that we can move to step two. That's where you're gonna cast. Go down your list. And next to each thought, I want you to ask two questions. Is this true? Is it mine to carry? If it is not true, then you're gonna cross it out. You can even write the truth next to it. If it is not yours to carry, I want you to circle it and pray over it. Okay. So for example, if it's somebody else's opinion of you because you feel like you're going to be rejected or fail somebody else when you make this decision, that is not yours to carry, right? or to think I'm trying to think of the same situation to give you a practical example. To think like, okay, she's not gonna be my friend if I say no to this thing. Okay, number one, it's not only not yours to carry, but it's also probably not true if you're really good friends. You need to be honest with her, right? And so going through there and casting out all the things that are are not true and not yours to carry. And then step three, commit. Look at what is left. Pick one step that you can take right now. Commit to it. And I want you to write it down at the bottom of your page. You can do this before you go to bed if you have racing thoughts before bed. It gives you something to cling on to. And again, it's gonna stop that loop in your mind because it's actionable, it's tangible. And if you do this, I would really love to hear about how it's going for you. You can send me a DM if you need prayer through it. I wanna be cheering you on through the process, okay? Now I have to tell you why this episode matters so much to me right now. So many of the women I talk to are not stuck because they don't have a message. They are stuck because they're ov they're overthinking it. They're overthinking the things, whether it's a message that you feel like you need to share with somebody when you see them in church on Sunday or you feel like you need to show up on social media to share. You've rehearsed every possible criticism. You think, who am I to say this so many times that you've never actually said anything at all? And I want you to know that the goal here is to be able to use your voice. The enemy wants to silence your voice and steal your voice, right? The Lord wants you to use it, okay, in submission to him. That's exactly why I'm creating the Call to Speak Summit. It's a weak. of teaching from women who love Jesus and who are using their voices in such a beautiful way. You'll listen to talks at your own pace. It's like a private podcast. And then we will walk it out together for a two-week challenge. So you actually take the next step instead of just thinking about it. We're gonna talk about solidifying your message, owning your voice, walking in your calling And even overcoming imposter syndrome. Some practical tools you would find in other courses, but God is not at the center of it, or you look at another course and you think this is way too expensive. I'm trying to combat both of those. Here, Christ is at the center, it's going to be affordable. Doors are opening on October 29th and they will only stay open until the end of the day on November 1st. And then they close and they will not be opening back up. If you're like, but I'm gonna I can sign up on Monday, it's not gonna happen because we're gonna go through this thing together. Okay. I will leave the link. the show notes so that you can check that out. I would love for you to join me there. You can get on the wait list now until doors open so that you're the first to know for that lower price that comes out on October 29th. Okay, let me pray for you before we go, Father, thank you for the woman who is listening right now. You know every thought that she's been carrying the ones that she has said out loud and the ones that she keeps to herself and is just overthinking and overthinking and overthinking. Would you Lord just quiet the loops in her mind? Would you expose every lie that needs exposed, Lord, would you give her wisdom and would you help her to replace it with your truth? Will you guard her heart and will you guard her mind with your peace that surpasses all understanding? God, will you give her the courage to take the next best step? And will you remind her that she doesn't have to walk this out alone? Lord, that we can surrender to you, that we can stop the loop, that we don't have to plan out tomorrow, that we can cast our cares on you and we can commit to just being obedient to the best next thing that you have for us, Lord. We trust you with all the things that we can't see. Let her say that out loud. I trust you, God, with all the things that I cannot see. And let her cling to that and let it be true in her heart. In Jesus' mighty name. Amen. Thank you for spending so much time with me today. If this episode spoke to you, would you share it with a friend who maybe you know has been overthinking or stuck in her head? I would love for you to leave a review and share this out. It helps the podcast to get seen by more people. And remember, you do not have to see the whole path in front of you. Okay. You just have to surrender to God and take the next best step. Stay rooted. I will see you next week.