Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap PODCAST: Sensual Vasectomy

Transcript

Phone Tap PODCAST: Sensual Vasectomy · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui away. He's now offering free
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: remote consultation my phone or video conference for any criminal events.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Stay home and trust Jubal's friends with a free remote
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers one eight hundred d uya
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: or visit one eight hundred d uia dot Com eight
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: hundred d uy away. Today's phone tap guys usually get
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  Speaker 1: pretty nervous before they have to go in for a vasectomy. Yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: my husband was sweating. Yeah, i'd say sweating, but I
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: don't want to bring up his area again, you know.
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  Speaker 1: I mean I would know because I actually stand outside
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  Speaker 1: of the clinics and I checked them for them, just
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  Speaker 1: in case. I want to know that they're feeling okay
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  Speaker 1: down there were you the weird guy in the bushes
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  Speaker 1: that he told me about. No comments one. Well, today's
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  Speaker 1: phone tap victim is going in for a vasectomy, and
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: we wanted to make sure that it was as uncomfortable
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  Speaker 1: as possible. That's why we're calling him from the doctor's office.
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  Speaker 1: And after the conversation, he'll probably never want to see
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: a doctor for anything ever. Again, It's your phone tap
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: from the vault right now on the twenties. Hello. Hi
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: is Cody Pepin speaking. Hey Cody, my name is Seth
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  Speaker 1: McElroy and I'm calling from doctor's office. How are you today?
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  Speaker 1: I'm doing well. How are you doing? Not too bad?
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  Speaker 1: Thank you for asking. Um listen, we have you scheduled
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  Speaker 1: for your vasectomy in a few days. Yeah, yeah, that's
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  Speaker 1: the highlight of my week. I'm just calling to check
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  Speaker 1: on you. How you doing, You're nervous? How's the little
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  Speaker 1: guy feeling? You know? Uh? I think he's probably okay.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I'm ready to go standing at full attention. I'm just kidding.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I know we're about it. Just a little
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  Speaker 1: joke for you anyway. How is he feeling? He's doing okay?
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: How is he who? I'm sorry, who are you talking about? Well,
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  Speaker 1: our little friend. He's going in for quite a big appointment,
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  Speaker 1: so I just want to make sure that he's doing
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: all right. Um yeah, um, you know, he's he's fine.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: If you want, you can put the phone down to
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  Speaker 1: him and I'll ask how he's doing check on it
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  Speaker 1: for you. No, no, no, no thanks, I'd rather not.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I'm just joking, okay, but seriously, he's doing all right.
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  Speaker 1: He's ready to go. Yes, we'll say he is. But okay,
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  Speaker 1: there anything else that I can help you with? Yes,
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  Speaker 1: actually the doctor wanted to know what music you wanted
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  Speaker 1: for your appointment. Um, there's music playing during the procedure.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, Doctor jer only likes to cut when he's
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: in the mood. But the music is up to you.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, are you speaking for doctor or are you
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I get everything ready for him, so you can pick
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  Speaker 1: jazz reggae, preferably something relaxing. I don't think you'd want
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  Speaker 1: a hard hitting me. I don't really care what music
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: is playing. If if doctor really needs music, then that's fine.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Something sensual. No, it is making me a little uncomfortable.
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  Speaker 1: And why is that? Because this is just a standard procedure,
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  Speaker 1: as I'm not exactly it's a standard here. It's a
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  Speaker 1: standard procedure to get a sect to me. But it
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  Speaker 1: doesn't mean you can't make it a special time for
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  Speaker 1: each of you. I don't really care if it's a
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  Speaker 1: special time. I just this is something that my wife
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  Speaker 1: has asked me to do, and so I'm doing it,
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  Speaker 1: and I don't really well. I just walked out of
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  Speaker 1: the doctor's office and he's excited. He's had this on
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  Speaker 1: his schedule for weeks now, and every time I come
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  Speaker 1: in there, he's like, Oh, I can't wait to get
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  Speaker 1: my hands on that thing. No, are you Is there
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  Speaker 1: anything else that I can help you with? Because I
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  Speaker 1: really don't want to have to think about this more
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  Speaker 1: than I need to. Well, when you get here, I
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  Speaker 1: just want to let you know how it's going to work.
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  Speaker 1: You'll meet one of his assistants. Her name is Olga.
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  Speaker 1: She will take you in the back room, she'll get
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  Speaker 1: your last tug in, and then she'll shave you up
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  Speaker 1: and get you ready to go. I'm sorry what Olga
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  Speaker 1: will take you in the back room and you'll get
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: your last hug and then she'll shave you up, and
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: then the doctor will see you for the procedure. Last tug. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: that's not part of the procedure. I don't I don't
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  Speaker 1: know what what I signed up for. Oh no, that's
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  Speaker 1: standard procedure when it comes to these things. I really
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: don't appreciate your sense of humor if you are trying
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  Speaker 1: to be funny, and I just want to come into
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  Speaker 1: this procedure and let that beat it all right, Well,
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  Speaker 1: I do have one more question, and that's it. One
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  Speaker 1: more question. Can we end this please? I'm just going
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  Speaker 1: to need to get an email address from you for
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  Speaker 1: where we should send the commemorative before and after photo.
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  Speaker 1: I don't want a before and after photo. I just
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  Speaker 1: want this procedure done. Trust me, you do. We have
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: a ton of different backgrounds you can choose from. There's
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  Speaker 1: one on a beach with the waves crashing. Oh my god,
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  Speaker 1: I'm just getting a v sect me. This isn't a wedding.
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  Speaker 1: I don't have options. Just make it so I can't
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  Speaker 1: have kids anymore? Could I recommend getting a picture now
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  Speaker 1: and then tanning so that you're after picture? What is
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  Speaker 1: wrong with you? Are you listening to me? I keep
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: telling you that I don't want it. Well, but what
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  Speaker 1: I'm saying is you know how you see those before
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: and after pictures of people at the gym? There are
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: now where you're kind of white? Hey? Are you asking
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: me more questions? I said I'm done. I don't want
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  Speaker 1: a before and after picture of my junk. You're really
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  Speaker 1: taking the fun out of this for us. I've got
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  Speaker 1: to tell this isn't about you having a fun time.
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  Speaker 1: This is about me having a procedure done that I
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  Speaker 1: don't really want to do, and you're making such a
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  Speaker 1: big deal out of this and make me really uncomfortable.
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  Speaker 1: All right, Fine, Well, if you don't want to make
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  Speaker 1: your resect me day special, then there's nothing I can
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  Speaker 1: do but just tell you that this is a prank
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  Speaker 1: phone call. That's I'm just gonna have to tell you that.
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  Speaker 1: Then what Yeah, I'm just trying to make the day
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  Speaker 1: special for you, but you want to get all angry
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  Speaker 1: with me, so I might as well tell you it's
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: a prank. It's a prank. Yeah, this is actually Jewil
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: from brook and Jewil in the Morning doing a phone
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: tap on you. Are you serious? Yeah? Your friend Casey
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: from college set you up here. You were getting snipped
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: and wanted me to mess with you. Oh my god,
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  Speaker 1: I knew I shouldn't have told him. I would love
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  Speaker 1: to serenade you. Well, you're get a resectim just in
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  Speaker 1: your early Yes. Yeah, yeah, you always serenade me. That'd
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: be awesome. Wake up every morning with funk tabs weekday
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: mornings on the twenties. Holy on removing ninety two point
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: five