Latest / Two Girls and a Cup of Wellness / Menopause: The Wild Woman Revolution with Maureen Ake & Amber Phebus | Ep 25

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Menopause: The Wild Woman Revolution with Maureen Ake & Amber Phebus | Ep 25 · Two Girls and a Cup of Wellness

• Crissy Florio: Hello everyone and welcome back for another two girls in a couple wellness conversation. is Chrissy. And this is Marie. And today, as you already know, we are being joined by Maureen and Amber of the Wild Woman Therapies, two parts of this amazing ⁓ group of girls that just are bringing a light to a very unique ⁓ aspects of healing and gathering and women and how now in, you know, 2026, how we can still bring forth like this kind of woman ⁓ vibe that thousands of years ago women were experiencing, but in today's world, we don't really know how to tap into that really beautiful inner woman that's within all of us, of women that are listening. And so welcome, girls. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Thanks for having us. Thanks. Thanks so much, ladies. We really appreciate it. We're so excited to be here. Crissy Florio: Yeah, yeah, definitely in aligned with I think we've already kind of chatting behind the scenes before hitting the start and definitely in aligned but different than what we have already brought forth on the podcast. So in our introduction for you ladies, you we talked a lot about the wild woman archetypes. So can we kind of just start there? Like break it down for our listeners of what What does that mean, what they are, and then how can we start to tune into those archetypes ⁓ on a daily basis? Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah, I can start with that one. Archetypes are a way of identifying different behavioral patterns, and we've seen archetypes throughout history, know, ⁓ specifically for female archetypes. There's the queen, there's the mother, there's the maiden, there's the wise sage, and there's also the wild woman, and there's more in there too, ⁓ but if we're just trying to focus in. But all of these archetypes are identifiers of different behavioral characteristics. that help us get a bigger picture, a more globalized understanding of how we can or how these archetypes do show up in the world. And they are typically interrelated, meaning that they have to be in relationship with someone or something else in order to show up in that way too. And so the wild woman archetype, as we're digging in a little bit here, is the idea of freedom, creativity in motion, passion, interconnected with nature, the ability to have a deep internal compass that she looks towards and makes decisions about or with, as opposed to using external cues to make her decisions. Crissy Florio: I'm thinking about what I am. I know, I know, me too. But it's kind of really tuning into that inner voice and that intuition, but kind of having kind of a, a label, but a better understanding how that can kind of also shift and change too, right? So we're not just one archetype. Okay. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yes! Thank you. Not at all. Do you want to take that one? Yeah, sure. No, we are not at all. We move through seasons of life, which is actually a piece of The Wild Woman, right? Like accepting all seasons and changes with kind of grace and just flowing, right? But yes, like you are... kid first, right? And you're growing up and then you are single and thriving and doing all the things and then you're married maybe or in a partnership or you have kids or you're in a career. Like it's all different things, you know, and then as you go through life you go through perimenopause and menopause and then you know then you're an elder, you know, so you like work through life and there's different archetypes for all of those. And so I think what we where we are in our stage like you know we're in that perimenopause menopause stage. And I think you get to this part of life and you realize like the archetypes that you lived in before, they don't fit you anymore. You you're growing out of those. You don't care about certain things anymore. You don't want to just fit the mold that that story told about you. You're ready to write your own narrative. ⁓ And that's why we're so passionate about the Wild Woman, because we're in that stage now and we want to share that with other women. Crissy Florio: Yeah, and I see so many people in this perimenopause, menopause stage doing other things like me. I shifted my career. And I think it's great because some people say, well, why are you doing that? Shouldn't you be slowing down? I'm like, no way. I'm starting my own business. I got a podcast. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I think the Waller does that too. gives you the, ⁓ what's the I'm looking for? Permission. The permission. Yeah. That's the word. She's words. The permission to do those things, right? Because we have these deep knowings of what we want, what we desire. And I think for so long in like the previous archetypes or earlier in life, we didn't allow ourselves to live in those things, you know? And this stage just brings that. Yeah. To piggyback off of that, think what Amber's really touching is a lot of us are told to be good girls for a very long time. And then the beauty of perimenopause, menopause, that it kind of pulls the veil away and it's like, but what do you really want? But what is really important to you? And what do you care deeply about? And what brings you energy? And what brings you life and vitality and all of those things? And the good girl archetype kind of, Crissy Florio: Hmm. I like that. Maureen Ake, LMFT: smooths out of the way a bit and you come into yourself and it's this empowered sense of this is who I am versus how do I make sure everyone else is happy and how do I please everyone else? Crissy Florio: Right, you kind of you remove the labeling of the people pleaser. But we still have those roles, right? If you're a mom or a wife, those don't ever go away. I like that, though. Yeah. Well, it gives you the opportunity to explore, right? To explore different things. And like you said, permission to not have to be exactly who we were yesterday, last month, last year, in our, you know, another decade ago, right? Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah. Yes. Sweet. Right. Mm-hmm. Yes. Crissy Florio: giving the opportunity and the permission to stop and pause and take a look at your life. I have the chills right now, like as I'm saying this, because it's such an empowering opportunity to change and to shift and to grow. I mean, if we were to all be the exact same person every single day for the rest of our lives, then, I mean, how boring would that be, first of all, right? But a lot of people struggle with Maureen Ake, LMFT: way. Crissy Florio: changing. They struggle. They're trying to hold on to their older versions of themselves. And especially, again, I always kind of come back to because I work with lot of obviously people in the breast cancer world and people who want to change. Right. And so many women go back after diagnosis and they want to go back to who they were before. But how can you? You can't. That is such a life changing thing. It's beautiful to be able to look at it as like, now this is a gift and I get to change. I get to see who do I want to be and not struggle to maintain the same version as ⁓ who I was before. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah. Yeah, and I think that's like a safety, it's a safety thing, right? Like going back to what you know, yeah, we're here, know, 100%. And I think that's what, at least what we do and what we're trying to do is in that permission, right? Even creating the space for women to step in, to give themselves permission, we're not giving them permission, we're just creating the space for them to give themselves permission. Yes. Crissy Florio: Sure. ⁓ it's a nervous regulation. It's easier to go back to what you're comfortable with. Yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: it just opens the door. Some women don't even know what they want because they've lived this good girl or what was I supposed to be for so long that they might come to a retreat or they might come to our program and be like, ⁓ my gosh, aha, I do want this for myself or ⁓ my gosh, I'm allowed to feel this way. And that's the beauty. And that's, think, where that change starts to happen for women and that permission comes in. Crissy Florio: Mm So talk about your program a little bit. Do they come and they do work with them? Tell me about it. don't I don't know. You know what? Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah, our program is called Wild Woman Awakening and it's currently an online version. It's a virtual version and it's a six week long program and Amber and I are the co-hosts and we go everywhere from the wild child through until the mother bear roar, right? And so we lean into these different identifying characteristics of the wild woman. Crissy Florio: Mm-hmm. Maureen Ake, LMFT: based basically in how we view it, right? Our perception of what the wild woman is. And along with the work of Clarissa Pinco La Estes, she wrote a book called Women Who Run with the Wolves. And so we take some stories from there and we have experiences where women get to hone in on some of these characteristics and see where it's alive in their life or where they'd like to bring more life to it and expand in some of these areas. And so it's a really great opportunity for women to connect, for women to connect to these themes, and for us to continue to bring about like small, sizable shifts. Meaning like these are all bite-sized. They're not huge, life-changing decisions that are being made in this program, but it's opportunities to be more reflective of who we really feel called to be. And... We used to do it in person and it was an eight week program and it's been going on for three years now. It's been my baby, my like labor of love that I've had for quite some time. And as Wild Woman Therapies has grown, we've brought in more women to help support, to engage. So bottom line is, what is Wild Woman Awakening? It's a platform and a space for women to connect with each other and identify. the characteristics of the wild woman and bring it alive for themselves each week. And by the end, it's an opportunity to step a little bit more into yourself. And we have a community of women that these with. So we've had over 70 women in the last three years come through this program. And we've also had retreats and Amber can speak a little bit on that in just a moment. But it's an opportunity for us to gain a wider collective and a bigger footprint of women. just stepping into their power. Crissy Florio: I mean, what's more powerful than a group of women together who are like minded and supporting one another and right, cheering each other on and removing this concept of competition, right? That when we really were growing up, there was a, mean, from where I grew up, there was a lot of that like, ⁓ well, you know, she's better than her, like what she's wearing, blah, blah, blah. And I just never gave into that because I didn't like it. I didn't like the idea of competition. But Maureen Ake, LMFT: Thanks. Crissy Florio: And even now so more now as an older woman, there's nothing more powerful than seeing a group of women come together and create this vibe and this frequency of power because I'm sorry, men, I love you men, but there's nobody more stronger than a woman. I'm sorry. We grow people. We grow people. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah. No, No, sorry. We do. Yeah. And I do think like, no piggybacking off of her, when she's saying like those small, really tangible things, like think of, yeah, do you want to go, hey, tomorrow we're all going out, you know, dancing. We really want you to come. And that's like saying like, yeah, no, that's tomorrow doesn't work for me. Crissy Florio: We give life. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Like something small like that because a lot of times you're like, yeah, you know, I should go, you know, they're expecting me to go. And then you're dreading going and then you get resentments and it's just built and you're saying no to like this little tiny piece of yourself. And over time, that's how you lose your sense of self, right? Or that connection to your intuition and your deep knowing. It's those small, tiny things that build over time. And I think that's what we are really trying to embody in these programs and retreats that we do. Crissy Florio: You're the yes person. and help people understand boundaries. Boundaries are not a negative thing. Boundaries are what keep your energy calm and regulated and listening to yourself and like you said, like truly, truly embodying what you want and what you deserve and what your body is craving. So. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Go! Yeah. And it's also the ability to hold ⁓ something that I really think is important is the ability to have hard conversations. I think a lot of times when we hold on to our deep feelings or what we really need to say, it does cause discomfort inside of our bodies. It causes a lot of resentment. It causes so many other things internally than just having hard conversations. So that's also a part of our programming is doing is is trying to support women in being able to identify what they want and to deeply express that even if it's not a boundary but it's just hey I really struggled with this when we when this happened last week and it's been on my mind and I wanted to bring it up and because I value our friendship I want to talk about it. Yeah. Crissy Florio: Yeah, speaking your truth. And again, we were kind of, some people were raised to just sit there and be quiet. Don't, you know. take it. Yeah, yeah. So I think as we get older and kind of go through the menopause and perimenopause and all of that, we are realizing that we're kind of getting to that other half of our lives. And how do we want to live this? And knowing what we know so far, how can we bring that into the rest of our lives and understanding our own individual power, creating community so we can all celebrate one another and really listening and creating those boundaries and not seeing them as a negative thing. It's at all is so important. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah, exactly. When you say that, I think of two words. ⁓ One, I think of sovereignty, which is a huge thing that we talk about, know, accepting women where they are. you know, the non-competition, right? Like creating community where women accept that we might not all have the same ideas and belief systems, and we might not be in the same exact stage in life. You can come to a place where you're accepted and we still want to see you step into your power, whatever that means for you, and to learn to your voice in that space and that you always have women backing you. Like that's so important, right? And then as we move through this stage, we get into like the elder stage, right? Where we need to learn ourselves in order to teach the younger generation, right? Like if we don't know who we are and we don't step into our power and our desire and find our voice, how are we supposed to help lead them? Right. What are we teaching? And that's what this is all about, right? Like everyone working together in this community. And so that's why I think personally, the Wild Woman is such a powerful concept because it's this stage. just feel like it sets the connection up between the older and younger. Yeah, the bridge. Yeah, the bridge. Crissy Florio: Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Oh, that's so amazing. OK, so you guys have your Wild Woman Awakening. Now, I know that you also have some other programs that you do throughout the year. And I love that you take all of the women who have already been in some of the previous cohorts or programs, and now you're creating this community that just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And what do you do kind of throughout the year to kind of massage all of that and massage like the, know, just keep it going. Maureen Ake, LMFT: That's a great question. Do you want to talk about the manifest market? Sure. Yeah. So it's called the collective is like what our ladies are called once they've come through like one of our programs. But yeah, so last year we hosted our first manifest market. That's something that like we really wanted to do and super passionate about. It's just a market, you know, like it's like free for the community and it's all women like artisans that create something. A lot of them not really have stepped into the power of what they've sold or created yet and created this space for them to come and share what they've created with the community. And so it was like a market, know, around the holidays where women could go and just show off what they've done and be super proud of what they've created. Yeah! Crissy Florio: Yeah. That's neat. I was there and it was amazing and I definitely bought some Christmas gifts. It was perfect. So please do it again this year. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah. Yeah. Well, we were just talking about that. I would love to, yeah, we want to make it a yearly thing. And I think it's be, we know women who went, that was their first market and they are like thriving and their businesses, cause they just needed that permission. We created a space for women to give themselves permission to show up for themselves. And that is so powerful. And that's not us like giving them power. That's just creating space. Crissy Florio: It is. Creating space. Maureen Ake, LMFT: know and they realize in that moment, wow, I can do it. Yeah, I can step into this. I can be able to do the thing that I've maybe been scared to do. And so that's a way that which we massage. We also have monthly collective meetings. And that's obviously, or not obviously, that's a free experience that anyone who's been through any of our ⁓ programs, we come this past week, we had a collective meeting and we did seeds and soil. identifying that we were almost halfway through spring. And so it's what are the emotional seeds, the behavioral seeds that we're planting and what is the soil? How do we need to fertilize that? Mine's actually growing. don't know if yours is. We literally planted these. We always have an activity. Yeah. it's neat. Every month we have something like that, just to keep it going. Crissy Florio: have fun. Cool. Maureen Ake, LMFT: keep encouraging each other. And sometimes we've got big groups, sometimes we've got smaller groups, and it's just the ability to hold the space for people to come to say, need some support, or I need a good laugh, or I need some reflective time. So that's another thing. Every ⁓ winter we do a bonfire at the beach just a way to end the year and kind of close things down for a bit, hibernate so we can come back into the spring. Yeah, and then... Crissy Florio: Yeah. And you guys go, you you do a lot kind of based on the traditional Chinese medicine seasons, right? Because, you know, one part of the third some here is not on the call, but is an acupuncturist, Stephanie. And I just, I don't know, I love listening to all three of you guys talk about these things because each one of them have their own gifts too, right? So why don't you guys talk a little bit about your gifts? Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yes, yes. Yes. Yeah. Let's talk about first. ⁓ Steph, yeah, she's our acupuncturist herbal medicine woman. ⁓ And five times a year, she does something called Wild Woman Wisdom. And it's a three hour workshop, seasonal workshop based around traditional Chinese medicine principles, ⁓ specifically for women, know, how women can support themselves in the season, different like points they can use on themselves, like pressure points, then she does like an herbal, an intuitive herbal Crissy Florio: Okay. Perfect. Maureen Ake, LMFT: tea making sure she has all the herbs of the season and when we get to touch them and smell them. Yeah she's amazing. Crissy Florio: I want to meet her. She's amazing. We'll have her on too. We'll have her on too. Because her and I have done yoga and acupuncture sessions, like hour and a half sessions. yeah, it's just getting this information into people's essence, right? To get them to connect to that. the tea thing's huge. And I made a tea today. But we talked to a nutritionist last week. And she was talking about the medicinal benefits of tea. And I have books and stuff. hearing somebody with that knowledge and working with them, that's my jam. Yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah. And it gives you power. Yeah, she's about it. they all have a purpose. And I think that's at Wisdom. Again, we do it within Wild Woman because it gives women, it empowers women to know about their own bodies and know that there are simple things that they can do to make themselves feel better and support themselves in each season of life. ⁓ Crissy Florio: She is and they're delicious. Her teas are delicious. Hmm. Maureen Ake, LMFT: And then you get an acupuncture treatment at the end based on the season. And it's just, it's amazing. Yeah. Fantastic. She's so knowledgeable. She's so personable too. And she makes it feel deeply accessible. Yeah. She invites you into her energy field and she's so supportive and encouraging and warm. Yeah. She's just, she's like a very warm cup of tea. That's delicious. Crissy Florio: Yeah, yeah. She's like her own warm cup of wellness. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah, she is just, this is what she's meant to do, like on this earth and you can tell when you're with her. So she brings something so powerful to a wild woman. And then we have our retreats, which is all three of us come and we've done a couple of those. We've done big retreats, like, know, where there are a couple of days long and then we've done day retreats. And we all play a piece in that, you know, in terms, you know, we really, you know, get into the mind and Maureen like does her magic. She's magical at what she does. Crissy Florio: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: helping women to like move forward through lots of different emotions. Like I don't even know what you do, but it's so magical. I don't know either. She's like all the words and she just, she just like, oh, she's just the most amazing person to guide. just, she's the perfect guide and space holder to like help women like just walk through the wild woman and like, what does that mean for you? You know, and hold space for all of the things that have come before. and empower them to step into what's to come. And I think that's so beautiful. And Steph again. And Steph, she just brings her, she's magic. She's like literally magic. ⁓ And she just brings all the things that we just said. then she- Can I brag on you now? You're being very avoidant at the moment. You've already talked about Stephanie. Now it's you. Crissy Florio: Yeah You all three are magic. Yes. Yes. Yes, you can. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Okay, go ahead. Amber is phenomenal. Amber is our resident ⁓ body movement aficionado. She brings the intelligence, the natural intelligence of the body into this lived experience. She moves us through exercise. She moves us through physical movement of all sorts. And then we do conscious connected breath work that Amber is so highly skilled at. Like she, her power comes alive like a deep fire when Amber is in her skillset. It's phenomenal. so women are so deeply moved through your work. And so it feels like a very lovely triangular experience where we all get to shine and show our best versions of our professional selves, but also this deeply internal fire that we each have in different ways. then that experience for them, it's like the rising up. Crissy Florio: Yeah. Well, cause Maureen Ake, LMFT: the working through and then the groundedness. It's just like, the experience is just, it's so amazing in that we have seen amazing transformations. Mind blowing. ⁓ Crissy Florio: Hmm. Yeah. Well, I think that if you are a woman who's seeking this type of connection and community and work, right, I think going to a place or online or signing up for a program like this, you get to see how so many women have stuff going on, right? Not one of us has this perfect life where trauma hasn't hit or we haven't had life changing and altering types of events going on in our lives. Like I really have not met one person that has said, ⁓ I live a perfect life. Nothing's ever happened to me. Right. So, but we in our being quiet in our staying, you know, ⁓ keeping small, we don't maybe necessarily express some of these things that we've experienced before. But when you walk into a community like that and then you start hearing other people's stories, you're like, wow, we are so similar. There is a lot that I can see myself in you in. I've been in a lot of these types of scenarios before. And seeing people walk in first, very timid, disconnected, unregulated. And then when they leave, it's like, wow, you are already a different person. And it's just. kind of just being able to see ourselves in other people and recognize we're not alone is huge. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah, I think that for me as a therapist over the last 12 years, recognizing that healing doesn't happen in a vacuum, healing needs a sense of community and support because truthfully, it's my belief that a lot of our pain, a lot of our upset, a lot of our trauma has been made in relationship and so we need to heal in relationship too. Crissy Florio: I think you do see a lot of people get healthier and feel better and more vibrant because I'm sure it affects their gut, their mind, their immune system is probably just like beautiful, right? yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. We're all connected. The whole body, everything. Mind, heart, soul. Mind, body, heart, soul. You all know me, mind, body, heart, soul. It's everything. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yes. All of it. All it. It's all connected. We like to separate. ⁓ But it's all connected. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And we are, like the things that we do, I mean, least our retreats, you know, we say it's, it's not to escape, it's to evolve. Like, this is like the place for you to evolve into something. Crissy Florio: Mm-hmm. Maureen Ake, LMFT: a better version, a stronger version, a more powerful version of yourself. It's not to run away from what you have going on or your past, right? Like all of those pieces make up who you are now. And that is what makes you stronger, right? Mentally, physically, emotionally, like working through those things and meeting them, right? In a safe space, you know? Yeah. That's exactly it. Crissy Florio: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And held in a supportive space. It's so beautiful. It's so beautiful. before when we were talking, before we actually hit start, you all mentioned that one of your missions is obviously getting this information out into the world, but then also helping women understand how they can put it into their daily lives, right? Like those small bites of things. So because it's not just a huge change that's going to happen overnight, but it's in the little things in the daily choices, in the daily thought patterns and how we shift. So what are some of the suggestions or tips or tools that you start to give your women to help bring that to life, to help for them to connect to that archetype that they're, I guess, experiencing at that moment? Maureen Ake, LMFT: That's a really great question. From my perspective, I think that the first thing to do before we do anything external is come internal and learn to have a relationship with yourself. Because a lot of times we create this self-avoidant experience. And I think that technology helps support that. ⁓ Crissy Florio: Yeah, sure. Maureen Ake, LMFT: fake relationships, all of those things support some self abandonment unintentionally. And so a large portion of how we try to interweave this bite size experience is coming inside into a small space of we remove the shoulds, We're on, this is the only diet that I ever talk about is eliminate it. Crissy Florio: Don't should yourself. My best friend says it all the time. Don't should yourself. Maureen Ake, LMFT: The full elimination diet of removing should because should is a shame breeding word that creates an external pressure on an internal system. And what we're trying to do is release some of that and create an internal relationship as to what do I want? What do I not want? What can I do? What will I not do? What feels good for me? What doesn't feel good for me? And so when we start there as just removing the shoulds, it's a really helpful way to create our our own compass as to what is the direction that I head in after I make this one small, sometimes not small, but oftentimes small decision of like, do I really want to, or am I feeling compelled to do that because I'm just trying to fit the mold of being the good person still. Crissy Florio: That's not easy for a lot of people. And I mean, I've been practicing the getting rid of should and have to, ⁓ or I need to, like those three words and phrases, I've tried to eliminate those over the last few years. And every now and then they pop up, but I catch myself. And that's where some of that conscious work and just the constantly doing it, right? And the more you... Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yes. Crissy Florio: be aware of it, the more you can consciously start to change it and shift it. But it's just being aware of it first. that's a huge first step. Huge and little, right? Big and little. It's big and little. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Mm-hmm. It is. But it's that pause you were talking about earlier, like taking the pause to connect to yourself. I did just say that. Why? Why did I just say I should have or I need to? I don't need to. Wait a second. So it's that second pause. Yeah. Right. And so all of this is building relationship with self. This is not so we can just live an isolated experience, but it's so that we can live a more true experience with other people. Crissy Florio: Yeah, isn't that interesting? Maureen Ake, LMFT: that we actually care about and that we actually love and that we actually want to be with. So part of that is stepping into our skin and having a felt sense. And so this is what a lot of Amber brings and Stephanie in some ways of connecting to the body, not just the feelings or the behaviors, because it feels like that that's a lot of what I do, but a lot of what you do is stepping into what are the cues, what are the physiological cues and how do we tune into that? Do you want to speak more on that? Yeah, sure. And you're teaching yourself like nervous system tolerance and nervous system capacity, right? So our bodies hold a lot, know, stress, you know, well, your gut, your chest, you know, your head, everything is connected and you will start to have symptoms, right? ⁓ We start, we stop breathing, you know, we start feeling shallow and tight and enclosed in, you know, we pull back our heart center, you know, all of those things are real. It's not just in our heads, right? Crissy Florio: Mm-hmm. Maureen Ake, LMFT: and we start to isolate and then we start to get into those types of things, but it always starts in the body. And ⁓ I think working through some of those things and talking about those things and learning different ways to work through them are so important, but unless you break it down in the body and you know where you're holding, that's my personal belief, obviously, because I work with the body, so that's my go-to, it's gonna get stuck again. Right? So, yeah, so. Crissy Florio: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: And a way that we tap into that with our online program is that Amber has videos, even before we start our session, videos that we encourage every participant to go in. And it's a one to three minute video of just breath work. Very simple breath work, intentional. Yeah, which sounds so simple, right? I've been studying breath for years. it's not. Crissy Florio: It's simple, but it's not easy. I say that all the time. There's so many things in this world that are simple, but not easy, right? Because we want, our brain wants to make things hard or retract and not do things. It's also so powerful too. Especially for stress. used to do breath work before I'd walk into a facility because I was so stressed out about all the patients and procedures I had to do. Yeah. And I would do a simple breathing through the nose and it was like three minutes, but it totally calmed me down. And it wasn't so tight and wound up. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yep, to talent. Crissy Florio: Absolutely. Right. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Right, taking a pause for yourself, right? To connect to your body. What do I need in this moment? Right? Yeah. And so, that's interesting thing. I hear you. I hear you. But that's the listening, right? That's your internal compass that says, this is just not where I'm supposed to land. This is not a forever place. And I think that when we connect to our breath, when we connect to our body, when we connect to a feeling, these are, again, simple ways in which we Crissy Florio: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then I quit that job because it was not for me. I can't take this anymore. Right. Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: read this Wildman archetype that feels more connective. And when we talk about it, again, it sounds easy, but it's probably some of the most challenging work that I've seen, especially as a therapist, because we externalize so much. And so when we come back in, it's uncomfortable. Crissy Florio: Well, and we don't fully trust ourselves either and trust what our body is saying and trust because we've been so programmed to look outside of ourselves to get the answers, run to the doctor, run to your friends and ask them, what should I be doing? Rather than pausing, stopping, taking a few deep breaths, understanding what's coming up in our body and then be able to make the decision from there. We don't trust ourselves. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Hmm? Yeah. Yeah. We actually have like a What is this? The seven day brag challenge? We did that at the beginning of the year and it's like still, you can still do it, but it's seven days of tuning into just that, right? Like letting go of the external validation and coming into yourself and like just being there for a minute. And what is it saying? Why should I listen to it? You know, I have the capability and the power and the knowledge to make that decision. I don't need you to tell me I can or can't or don't or should or all of those things, you know. Crissy Florio: Mm-hmm. It's a power that's within us and it's a power that we have to listen to. It's a voice that we have to listen to within us. Because if not, you're giving your power away and you're having other people make decisions for you. And sometimes they might be right, sometimes they might not be right. And if you don't listen to yourself and what your body desires and needs and craves, then you could be doing yourself more damage, you know, and more harm. whether that is something physically, energetically, emotionally, right? It could be one or all, but if you are constantly going against the grain of what your body and your essence is saying that it needs and it wants, it's gonna start to manifest into havoc. It's gonna wreak a little havoc in your body. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah, and that's I think that that's why our I see it emotionally is depression anxiety, you know troubled relationships because we're not allowing ourselves to Live the experience that our body is calling us to live right depression is deep rest from the experience that we're anxiety is the future the future tripping of fear because we feel ungrounded and maybe These are all based on maybe big, big T traumas or little T traumas, but also it's, it's the lack of relationship with self to be able to say, this just doesn't feel right for me anymore. And again, it could be a job. doesn't have to always be relationship. It could be, I don't like driving this way every single day. This is a very, very real, uh, little piece of information. I was driving on, uh, on 95 with my kids every single day to go to school. And I realized. almost, we're almost done with school now, but I realized that there was another way to go because I don't like driving on 95. I was like, I'm just going to make this decision. To direct my car to not go onto 95 and not create more anxiety because there's always a car accident here. And it's not that I'm trying to avoid. It's like, this feels better for me. This feels like a much easier way. And this is the same amount of time. Again, these don't have to be really big things. Crissy Florio: Yeah, I have the power to change. Maureen Ake, LMFT: but leaning into the trust. And that's what you know, your big question was, how do you do that in everyday life? It sounds silly, but it's, that's how it works. And that's kind of what we empower women to do is to just give themselves permission to make those small changes. And it's gonna, sometimes you'll be wrong and that's okay, but it's learning. And I think that's what we also need to give women permission about. It's okay if you get it wrong. You know, like you can forgive yourself and be like, okay, well that was a learning lesson and let's move on because that is also empowering. Crissy Florio: Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: you Crissy Florio: Right, because again, nobody's perfect. Nobody, nothing in life is perfect. So if something doesn't work out, well, then there is always a learning lesson behind it. Right. And you, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So just like, okay, well, there it is. And now we're going to move on from there. We're going to shift, right? Maureen Ake, LMFT: The meter's going better. It's the feedback. We've talked about this and there's a great story in Women Who Run with the Wolves. The story is called Vasilisa the Wise and it's all about intuition. This is one of the most beautiful stories. It's a long one. But if you've got time to either listen to it on Audible or read it, this one is all about intuition and it's all about feeding your intuition. So it might be about making a right instead of a left. doing this instead of that. And what we have to do after each of these decisions is to give ourselves, we feed it, we give ourselves the feedback of this felt good or this didn't feel okay for me. Not based on the outcome oftentimes, but based on like, is... What is it that feels right about this or what is not someone else being pleased, but how am I feeling about this circumstance and situation? So yeah, if that's not the right road, then I will give myself the feedback. This isn't it. All right, let's keep looking. Crissy Florio: Yeah. And what I hear out of that too is obviously meeting the situation where it's at, but also with grace and acceptance of whatever that is, right? Of just accepting of, okay, well, I did go this and it didn't feel right or accepting of like, I did make that change and yay me, right? So accepting whatever it is and then also meeting yourself with grace, whatever, if it was good or maybe not so great. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yes. Yeah, yeah. our community, know, whenever we meet, have like a circle, we do check-ins and we have a stick, a talking stick, so that women, you know, can take up some space. You know, when you have the talking stick, it's yours, like you're the only one talking. You introduce yourself, we say, hey, we are like giving you the floor. And in that moment, because we believe in like the sovereignty of our sisters, right, in that group, they can share those experiences openly, you know, like, ah, I was gonna say, shh, was gonna say, this happens to me. Crissy Florio: Yeah. Laughter Maureen Ake, LMFT: You know, that wasn't so great. And like, we're not going to be like, man, that was a bad one. You know, we're going to be like, thanks for sharing and no, and we're happier here and move on. Yes. Isn't that right? The word everyone wants to use, right? Authenticity, right? But I think the wild woman brings such a deep sense of authenticity and a deep truth to that. Crissy Florio: Yeah, because the realness, the realness behind it, you know? Yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: And it's not easy. It's not like we're like, yeah, we're like the most authentic women like ever, but that is our goal. You that is what we're striving for. And sometimes it looks icky and not clean and not perfect, but that's okay with us and in our community because we want, Maureen uses this line, like a deeply meaningful life, right? And that brings health. Crissy Florio: Yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: right, and balance to the body and mind body soul connection a deep meaningful life and the wild woman does something within us especially in this stage to to just bring that into fruition I think. Yeah. Crissy Florio: Yeah, to bring it up to the surface and make it okay to show that and to connect to that version. So good. Okay, so we have at the end, typically at the end of our conversations, we try to have our guests provide what? Maybe three to five, whatever you choose, let's say three. ⁓ Kind of just like, Tips, advice. Yeah. For our listeners, like what can they start to do right now? Now we started with getting rid of the shoulds. I think that's a number one great one. Yes. What are a couple others? Maureen Ake, LMFT: Okay. Do you want to go or do you want me to go? You said should, so I feel like I should go. I guess it's my turn. Okay. Yes. Um. Crissy Florio: You have the talking stick now. Maureen Ake, LMFT: giving yourself a pause. Crissy Florio: slow down. Maureen Ake, LMFT: giving yourself the space, the permission to just take a minute and like connect to what does this feel like right now and not overthink it. Crissy Florio: be. Yeah, to be. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah. Yeah. I would also say giving yourself permission to be wrong, like know that it's going to happen and the world is not going to break. That you can be wrong and you can allow yourself to learn from that experience ⁓ and allow yourself to, to tune into that. Crissy Florio: Yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: to that feedback. I, not that I enjoy being wrong, but I really don't mind it. If there's something that I'm wrong about, I'm like, okay, that was a really good opportunity for me to not know. And I appreciate the feedback and I appreciate you telling me. So thanks. My, that, that encouragement would be, don't be scared. Don't be scared. Crissy Florio: Yeah. Well, I think sometimes just quickly on that, if somebody is wrong and they get angry with themselves, it's almost like their ego is the one that is coming forth and promoting all of the anger and the irritation and the next actions or the words or whatever. You're okay with it because you are meeting yourself where you are in that more authentic kind of like calm, regulated state where somebody who's very dysregulated and needs to be right all the time is very more driven by the ego. Maureen Ake, LMFT: I think that's a really good point, Chrissy. Yeah. So we have the no shoulds, the pause, okay to be wrong. I have one more. Yeah, go ahead. Can I do one more? Okay. I love this one and when I work with women, I talk about it a lot, but it's the I desire journal. ⁓ I do it, I try to do it daily. I'm not perfect, but it really helps. just, it's so good. And I think it gives us, you have a journal, you take however long you want in it. Crissy Florio: Great. Yes. ⁓ Maureen Ake, LMFT: I have multiple steps in mind, but the I desire is just a piece of it where I say I desire and I sit there and ask myself, what do I want? And I can tell you in the beginning, it was so hard. Like I didn't know. I didn't know. Like I was like, I don't even know. Like I'm a mom, I work, I look so many hats, right? But what do I want? And it has grown and it is amazing. And it's just like, it could be like, I desire a hot shower. I desire to take a shower without kids under my door. this morning, you know, or I desire to create a business or I desire to have intimacy, you know, more intimacy with this or I desire to have this conversation or I desire to feel this. It can be as small or as big as you want. are no expectations, but it's whatever comes up in those two to three minutes. You just write them down and I can promise you do that for 30 days and go back to day one and you will be amazed at like what has shifted for you. Crissy Florio: Yeah. Yeah, it's a form of manifestation through feeling worthy enough to have it, right? And thinking outside of the box and really allowing yourself to understand that you are allowed to have all of these things. You are worthy of having these things. Yeah. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Well. Yes. That connection to yourself and you are allowed and it gives you like a private little space You don't need to tell anyone else about it. It's just your own space Crissy Florio: I love that. journal every day. So, or I try to, like I said, almost every day, I will definitely take that little nugget of info. love that. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah, yeah, it's the active participation of manifestation. you, not just like, what's gonna come to me, but it's the really thinking and the allowing the permission to put it pen to paper or typing, whatever that means for you. Giving yourself the permission to say it out loud in a way, yeah. Crissy Florio: Yeah. Mm-hmm. This was wonderful. was great. Yeah. Yeah. I learned a lot. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your energy and all your love. And this is big stuff. When we started talking about possibly doing the podcast, we wanted a place where we take the taboo out of certain topics, especially like this, right? Maureen Ake, LMFT: Thanks for coming. was great. Crissy Florio: And yes, it's all kind of lent itself into more of like educational things about the body and how we can live a cleaner and healthier life. But this work right here is, I mean, for years, it's like taboo. You don't talk about women gathering and all of these things and archetypes and what's all that about. this, so many women need to know this information. So we will make sure that we drop all of your information and the links to everything below. So please everyone. follow them and start to tune into your own archetypes. Yeah. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. That's right. That's right. That's right. Girlfriend conversation. So, you, ladies. All right, guys, until next time. Adios. Bye. Maureen Ake, LMFT: Yeah. Thank you so much for having us. appreciate this. It's been, time flies when you're having fun and talking about things that you're passionate about, right? Thanks for doing awesome stuff. Yes. Thank you. Bye guys.