Latest / Your Enriched Self / 204. Decide Anyway
Transcript
- 0:16Speaker 1: Hello, my friends from all across the globe, and welcome
- 0:19Speaker 1: to the Your enrich Cell Podcast. I am your host,
- 0:22Speaker 1: my Le Noir. I am an emotional wellness and empowerment coach,
- 0:27Speaker 1: and all that means is I want you to become
- 0:30Speaker 1: more of your enriched self and it starts with your thoughts. Right.
- 0:33Speaker 1: Your thoughts create worlds and they inspire the words that
- 0:38Speaker 1: you speak over your life and about your life, and
- 0:42Speaker 1: those words inspire the action and the activity the things
- 0:45Speaker 1: that you will do each and every day. And if
- 0:47Speaker 1: you're listening to this podcast, I know that you want
- 0:49Speaker 1: to be the best version of yourself. So that's what
- 0:53Speaker 1: we do on this podcast. We explore your activity and
- 0:57Speaker 1: your life from the inside out, starting with your thoughts.
- 1:01Speaker 1: If you are new to this podcast, I want to
- 1:03Speaker 1: welcome you and thank you for being here. I know
- 1:07Speaker 1: that you were brought here on purpose for a purpose,
- 1:11Speaker 1: And if you are a repeat listener, I want to
- 1:12Speaker 1: thank you because for the last four years we have
- 1:15Speaker 1: been journeying on this podcast and the only way we
- 1:21Speaker 1: could be where we are today is because of you.
- 1:24Speaker 1: So I want to thank you from the bottom of
- 1:26Speaker 1: my heart for your participation, your comments, your feedback your
- 1:32Speaker 1: engagement in all that we do here on the Your
- 1:35Speaker 1: and Ritail podcast. So thank you for that. Now this
- 1:39Speaker 1: week I have a special treat for you. But before
- 1:43Speaker 1: we get into this week's episode, if you know you know,
- 1:48Speaker 1: one of the things I do each and every week
- 1:50Speaker 1: is I make a deposit into the bank of you,
- 1:54Speaker 1: and I do so by way of affirmations. Affirmations are
- 1:59Speaker 1: a great, great way to start your day and to
- 2:04Speaker 1: command your mourning. And this week's affirmation is today is
- 2:12Speaker 1: a new day. I will get out of it just
- 2:16Speaker 1: what I put into it. Today is a new day.
- 2:22Speaker 1: I will get out of it just what I put
- 2:26Speaker 1: into it. Today is a new day. I will get
- 2:32Speaker 1: out of it just what I put into it. Now,
- 2:38Speaker 1: let's get ready for this week's episode of the Your
- 2:42Speaker 1: Enriched Self Podcast. I had the wonderful privilege in the
- 2:55Speaker 1: last week of traveling to Dallas for a workshop slash
- 3:01Speaker 1: event that highlighted three amazing keynote speakers that I would
- 3:09Speaker 1: love to share with you. And I'm so excited about
- 3:11Speaker 1: this because what I love about this information Oftentimes when
- 3:16Speaker 1: you go to events like that, you tend to get
- 3:19Speaker 1: things that are conceptually good but not applicable. And what
- 3:24Speaker 1: I love about everything that happened at that event was
- 3:30Speaker 1: everything and every speaker that engaged with the audience, they
- 3:37Speaker 1: made the information very relatable real so and so we
- 3:44Speaker 1: had real time explanations and walk throughs, and we did
- 3:51Speaker 1: some decision point exercises in real time to help us
- 3:56Speaker 1: understand and navigate the information that was being provided. So again,
- 4:00Speaker 1: it wasn't just this lecture hall or this person on
- 4:05Speaker 1: stage talking to the people and the audience. It was
- 4:09Speaker 1: a conversation that took place, and I want to share
- 4:12Speaker 1: that conversation with you because there are things that you
- 4:16Speaker 1: can take away from the information I took away, and
- 4:19Speaker 1: I'm going to synthesize that information in small bites to
- 4:23Speaker 1: help you not just understand what it is, but go
- 4:27Speaker 1: out and apply it. One of the things about this
- 4:30Speaker 1: podcast that I pride myself on is the ability to
- 4:35Speaker 1: give you information to help you go out there and
- 4:40Speaker 1: do something to help you become more of your enriched self.
- 4:44Speaker 1: It's not just the name of the podcast. It's a lifestyle.
- 4:47Speaker 1: It's a decision and speaking of decisions, that's what I
- 4:51Speaker 1: want to talk to you about today is making decisions
- 4:55Speaker 1: in the real world. We do it every single day,
- 4:57Speaker 1: every single moment. I can't remember statistic that this professor
- 5:03Speaker 1: that I'm going to share her teachings mention about the
- 5:06Speaker 1: number of decisions we make in a day, but it
- 5:08Speaker 1: was an alarming statistic. I'll try to find that and
- 5:11Speaker 1: put that into show notes. But what's really really real
- 5:16Speaker 1: about this is that when we make decisions, we need
- 5:20Speaker 1: to embrace that there's going to be uncertainties. And that's
- 5:25Speaker 1: what that truth. Knowing that when you're making a decision,
- 5:28Speaker 1: when you're going down the decisioning path and you're going
- 5:32Speaker 1: through all the things that you do today, which we're
- 5:34Speaker 1: going to challenge some of those things that you understand,
- 5:40Speaker 1: and embrace the fact that you will not have everything
- 5:44Speaker 1: you need. I notice this is going to sound counter culture,
- 5:47Speaker 1: because in culture we believe we need to have everything
- 5:52Speaker 1: to make that decision. But the reality is you must
- 5:55Speaker 1: embrace the fact that there will be uncertainty, and that's
- 5:59Speaker 1: where the winis comes in. I think a lot of
- 6:02Speaker 1: times we think the wisdom is that we made a
- 6:03Speaker 1: perfect decision and we had the best results, and that's
- 6:07Speaker 1: what makes us wise, and that is so far from
- 6:10Speaker 1: the truth. Again, this is what culture has shoved down
- 6:14Speaker 1: our throat telling us what truth is when it comes
- 6:19Speaker 1: to making decisions or being a person that can stand
- 6:27Speaker 1: on the business of the decision that you made. And
- 6:30Speaker 1: so today I want to talk to you about three
- 6:33Speaker 1: key points as it relates to embracing the uncertainty and
- 6:39Speaker 1: doing so with confidence, because I think a lot of
- 6:43Speaker 1: times when you make decisions, one of the biggest things
- 6:45Speaker 1: that your face with is the fact that you're not
- 6:48Speaker 1: confident that what you just did. You know that buyers
- 6:52Speaker 1: you more is that internal self talk, all of things
- 6:54Speaker 1: that happen as you are going down the path, and
- 6:57Speaker 1: even post decision, sometimes you feel that anxiety. Did I
- 7:01Speaker 1: do it right? Did I do it wrong? And I
- 7:03Speaker 1: want you to walk away from this episode feeling more
- 7:07Speaker 1: confident and being ready to stand in the face of
- 7:11Speaker 1: a decision, because a lot of times we cower down
- 7:15Speaker 1: or we step away because we feel like we don't
- 7:18Speaker 1: have enough, and today I want to help you overcome that.
- 7:24Speaker 1: And the first key point I want to talk about
- 7:27Speaker 1: is the acceptance of imperfection. And again this is really counterculture.
- 7:31Speaker 1: Culture teaches us to be perfect, to do everything to
- 7:35Speaker 1: the t resubmiss she is a professor at Cornell University.
- 7:42Speaker 1: She was a keynote speaker that helped us understand the
- 7:45Speaker 1: decisions we need to make and the importance of embracing
- 7:49Speaker 1: the uncertainty as we are making those decisions. And one
- 7:52Speaker 1: of those talk tracks again was the acceptance of imperfections.
- 7:57Speaker 1: And it is very counterculture that we go into a
- 8:00Speaker 1: decision knowing that things are going to be imperfect because
- 8:03Speaker 1: we've only been taught, and mainly been taught, mostly been
- 8:06Speaker 1: taught to be perfect, to not make mistakes, and the
- 8:11Speaker 1: reality is, in decision making, we are rarely going to
- 8:15Speaker 1: have all the facts. I love that during that conversation
- 8:21Speaker 1: it really made me. I don't know for the other
- 8:24Speaker 1: participants in this workshop, but I really would say it
- 8:27Speaker 1: made us right, I'm speaking for us. She helped and
- 8:31Speaker 1: challenged us to think about decisions we had recently made.
- 8:36Speaker 1: And when I started thinking about it that way, I
- 8:38Speaker 1: recognize in that moment when I was making that decision
- 8:41Speaker 1: and I had a number of weeks to kind of
- 8:43Speaker 1: go about doing the thing that I was doing, but
- 8:46Speaker 1: I still didn't have all the information. And the reality
- 8:50Speaker 1: is the goal is not perfection, The goal is progress.
- 8:55Speaker 1: Did you improve your situation? Did you make something better.
- 8:59Speaker 1: That's the goal. That's the goal of making any decision
- 9:03Speaker 1: you will make, whether it's one of the larger decisions
- 9:06Speaker 1: that you'll make, or even just the day to day
- 9:08Speaker 1: things you know that creep into your life that you
- 9:10Speaker 1: have to act on, think on, and do right now.
- 9:14Speaker 1: And all you can do is make progress and not
- 9:20Speaker 1: try to stick you know, like a gymnast, stick it
- 9:24Speaker 1: and have this perfection as the goal for your foundation,
- 9:29Speaker 1: because that's gonna leave you feeling less than Because I
- 9:33Speaker 1: promise you if you've watched gymnastics, you will see that
- 9:38Speaker 1: most gymnasts, unless you're Simone Biles the goat, are not
- 9:41Speaker 1: going to stick it. And even Simone Biles had her
- 9:44Speaker 1: moments where she didn't stick it. So the reality is
- 9:47Speaker 1: you must accept imperfection. It's a normal part of the
- 9:53Speaker 1: journey of making a decision and a lot of times
- 9:56Speaker 1: we try for that hundred percent certainty and that that
- 10:00Speaker 1: is unattainable. We'll talk a little bit more about why
- 10:02Speaker 1: it is, but we really should focus on having the
- 10:06Speaker 1: best available information. I cannot stress enough the importance of
- 10:13Speaker 1: having a mindset, which is a big part of this
- 10:16Speaker 1: podcast community right is to really help us shift the
- 10:21Speaker 1: paradigm of how we think about what we're thinking about.
- 10:25Speaker 1: And I love that she said that because I remember
- 10:28Speaker 1: when I first started this podcast. For me, it was
- 10:34Speaker 1: the importance of putting ourselves back in a thinking space.
- 10:39Speaker 1: We have spent so many years doing We have spent
- 10:43Speaker 1: so many years going from one activity to the next activity,
- 10:47Speaker 1: and oftentimes we don't even spend time thinking about the
- 10:51Speaker 1: activity that we must do right, And so getting a
- 10:56Speaker 1: mindset that embraces thinking, that embraces the fact that, you
- 11:02Speaker 1: know what, when you think through this, you're not going
- 11:04Speaker 1: to be one hundred percent. You're gonna just need to
- 11:07Speaker 1: make the best possible choice and act with confidence. That's
- 11:12Speaker 1: where your confidence is gonna come in because you will know,
- 11:17Speaker 1: even with the uncertainty, I'll say it again, even with
- 11:20Speaker 1: the uncertainty, that you made the best choice, and now
- 11:26Speaker 1: you can act more confidently as you move about. You're
- 11:30Speaker 1: not going to go into the analysis paralysis, which again
- 11:35Speaker 1: is often occurring in that post decision era where you're
- 11:41Speaker 1: really rethinking what you did? Did I do the right thing?
- 11:44Speaker 1: You did? But it starts with zero point one accepting perfection.
- 11:49Speaker 1: The other key point that she brought up is leveraging
- 11:52Speaker 1: experience and knowledge. Now it is important right that you
- 11:58Speaker 1: have walked the walk, and you've done the things, and
- 12:00Speaker 1: you've gone to the places and you got the T
- 12:03Speaker 1: shirt because you've been there and you've done that. So yes,
- 12:07Speaker 1: use what you already know as a foundation to guide
- 12:12Speaker 1: your choices. I'm gonna say that again, use what you
- 12:17Speaker 1: know as a foundation, not as the way you were
- 12:21Speaker 1: going to make your choices. And I'll be honest with you.
- 12:23Speaker 1: When I think back, and because of this activity that
- 12:27Speaker 1: we did live with Professor Mish, I thought back to
- 12:32Speaker 1: a recent decision I had made, and after listening to
- 12:38Speaker 1: her talk on this, she asked, based on the criteria,
- 12:45Speaker 1: if you were to rate your decision one out of ten,
- 12:48Speaker 1: ten being perfect, what would you rate it out? And
- 12:50Speaker 1: she had the audience, you know, the ones would stand
- 12:54Speaker 1: two's all the way up to tens. I actually gave
- 12:56Speaker 1: myself an eight, because when I think about it, I
- 12:58Speaker 1: didn't have all the information and I did not see
- 13:01Speaker 1: that before as just part of the decision making process.
- 13:07Speaker 1: But when I went to this workshop, or when I
- 13:09Speaker 1: attended this talk, with this conversation that we had with
- 13:13Speaker 1: Professor Mish, it made me realize that that's just part
- 13:16Speaker 1: of the process. So I'm not going to get a
- 13:19Speaker 1: perfect ten. I'm not going to stick it, so to speak.
- 13:21Speaker 1: But I felt comfortable in my eight and I think
- 13:26Speaker 1: it's important that we leverage what we know. And one
- 13:29Speaker 1: of the you know, things that I've learned, like you know,
- 13:31Speaker 1: those post mortem exercises. I'm a project manager by day trade,
- 13:35Speaker 1: so a lot of times we're going back through a
- 13:39Speaker 1: project to do a post mortem, which is essentially to
- 13:42Speaker 1: see how after the project, how did we do, what
- 13:47Speaker 1: did we miss, what opportunities were you know, involved, what
- 13:51Speaker 1: did we take into account, what wasn't taken into account?
- 13:54Speaker 1: All of the things the learning lessons. So, yes, use
- 13:57Speaker 1: and leverage that information to help you make a better decision.
- 14:01Speaker 1: Oftentimes we do that. So then when we go about
- 14:04Speaker 1: doing another exercise in a similar way, with a similar
- 14:08Speaker 1: type of roll out plan, we have some you know
- 14:11Speaker 1: what I call items that are on the shelf, not
- 14:14Speaker 1: necessarily prescriptions, but on the shelf items that we can
- 14:17Speaker 1: go to and apply to what it is that we're doing.
- 14:22Speaker 1: And so, yes, past scenarios can help you understand what
- 14:27Speaker 1: the future may look like, but it should not be
- 14:32Speaker 1: how you finally make your decision. But it's a good
- 14:35Speaker 1: foundation for the decision making because reality is there is
- 14:42Speaker 1: new data out there. I mean, when you think about
- 14:45Speaker 1: all the things that have happened in terms of the
- 14:48Speaker 1: advances and technology and the information advances, like how fast
- 14:52Speaker 1: we can get it, where we can get it, how
- 14:54Speaker 1: many data minds are out there. You need to realize
- 14:58Speaker 1: that there's always new data sets out there. But getting
- 15:04Speaker 1: what you need for your decision making can sometimes put
- 15:08Speaker 1: you in a space that is overwhelming. What you do
- 15:12Speaker 1: in that situation you bring what you know to the
- 15:14Speaker 1: table and you begin to trust your judgment. It goes
- 15:18Speaker 1: back to confidence. People. We can't walk around here feeling
- 15:24Speaker 1: less than or inadequate because we don't have everything and
- 15:27Speaker 1: everything is imperfect. We embrace again the imperfection and then
- 15:33Speaker 1: we leverage our knowledge and that is going to help
- 15:37Speaker 1: you draw in the wisdom you need to empower you
- 15:40Speaker 1: to act decisively. Your lived experience, I promise you, is
- 15:45Speaker 1: an asset to your decision. It's not the only way,
- 15:48Speaker 1: but it certainly is an asset. The final piece of
- 15:52Speaker 1: this that I think is very very appropriate and helpful
- 15:57Speaker 1: to all is to use your external resources. This idea
- 16:05Speaker 1: speaks against what culture has trained so many of us
- 16:08Speaker 1: to do. We have been taught that if you ask
- 16:11Speaker 1: for help, you're week. You should know this. I can
- 16:16Speaker 1: do bad by myself, or I can do it by myself.
- 16:20Speaker 1: And what Professor Misch says is use your external resources.
- 16:25Speaker 1: Tap into your network. Yes, you have a lived experience
- 16:30Speaker 1: in this thing, but you might have people that are
- 16:32Speaker 1: expert in this thing because of their living experience, or
- 16:36Speaker 1: their focus of study, or their day to day work
- 16:40Speaker 1: that may be vastly different from your day to day work,
- 16:43Speaker 1: but be very relevant to the decision you're trying to make.
- 16:48Speaker 1: So tap into those networks. Tap into that network. Mentors,
- 16:56Speaker 1: trust that advisors or colleagues, people in the business that
- 16:59Speaker 1: you're in, maybe not in your business, but in a
- 17:02Speaker 1: similar business. They will give you value add which gives
- 17:06Speaker 1: you perspective, which helps to sharpen the path of your
- 17:11Speaker 1: decision making. Sometimes they may have encountered something on their journey.
- 17:18Speaker 1: Maybe you guys are doing a similar job, but they
- 17:21Speaker 1: experience something that you didn't. And so now that you
- 17:24Speaker 1: have that insight that can help you, that can help
- 17:28Speaker 1: you give some specialized approaches to information that you didn't
- 17:34Speaker 1: have before until you spoke to this person. So doing
- 17:37Speaker 1: your own research is part of that too, right, And
- 17:41Speaker 1: I think a lot of times we skip that part
- 17:43Speaker 1: because we go with the foundational knowledge of what we know,
- 17:46Speaker 1: which is good, but it's not all encompassing, and it
- 17:51Speaker 1: needs to be that so that we can walk away
- 17:54Speaker 1: from our decisioning confidently and not live this buyer's morse
- 18:00Speaker 1: experience over and over again. I've done that. It doesn't
- 18:03Speaker 1: feel good to do that, and so I'll give you
- 18:08Speaker 1: an example of external resources. I had to make a
- 18:12Speaker 1: decision recently, and when I made that decision, I initially
- 18:19Speaker 1: was going to apply the knowledge that I had that
- 18:25Speaker 1: I had previously used when I made a similar decision
- 18:29Speaker 1: to do the exact same thing, almost identical to the
- 18:33Speaker 1: way I did it before. And it just so happened.
- 18:36Speaker 1: I was having coffee and chat with a friend and
- 18:39Speaker 1: I just brought up this decision, which is something I
- 18:43Speaker 1: typically don't do because you know, when you have decisions,
- 18:46Speaker 1: you sometimes you internalize them, and I'm saying to you,
- 18:50Speaker 1: please don't. But this was a trusted person, so I
- 18:55Speaker 1: do understand. We need to protect our investment and your
- 18:58Speaker 1: ideas and your decision are oftentimes investment. I'm just gonna
- 19:02Speaker 1: say that, So when you do have these conversations, you
- 19:05Speaker 1: definitely want to have a trusted advisor, a trusted colleague,
- 19:08Speaker 1: a mentor, somebody you know who's in your corner. But anyway,
- 19:11Speaker 1: I was having a casual coffee with a friendly trusted
- 19:14Speaker 1: advisor and I mentioned this decision to them, and they immediately,
- 19:18Speaker 1: without hesitation, gave me options. They gave me suggestions, they
- 19:22Speaker 1: gave me perspective, They told me their experience and how
- 19:25Speaker 1: they had done it, and they said, make this phone
- 19:29Speaker 1: call to this person. And shortly after I left that
- 19:34Speaker 1: coffee and chat moment, I made the conversation. I made
- 19:39Speaker 1: the call to create the conversation with this person that
- 19:42Speaker 1: put me down a path that I had never and
- 19:46Speaker 1: when I say never, never explored, It wasn't on my radar.
- 19:50Speaker 1: I would not have researched it. It would have been
- 19:53Speaker 1: so far from my purview because I had never walked
- 19:56Speaker 1: that path before. And let me tell you, that path
- 20:02Speaker 1: proved to be much more successful than what I had
- 20:09Speaker 1: previously planned as my strategy to make that decision. Not
- 20:17Speaker 1: only did it help me with the decision I was
- 20:20Speaker 1: making this person all the person that they referred me
- 20:23Speaker 1: to opened my eyes to other opportunities that were not
- 20:28Speaker 1: even in my thought process, about other decisions that I
- 20:33Speaker 1: had been thinking about for a while but I hadn't
- 20:35Speaker 1: acted upon. It was like there were uncovering needs that
- 20:39Speaker 1: I never ever mentioned to them. And that experience, along
- 20:48Speaker 1: with this discussion conversation with Professor Mish, has forever changed
- 20:55Speaker 1: how I will go about making a decision. I will
- 21:00Speaker 1: go about with my process and the importance in all
- 21:05Speaker 1: of this of accepting the imperfection. I think that's the
- 21:09Speaker 1: biggest takeaway, because again, we want perfection, we want that
- 21:14Speaker 1: one hundred percent certainty, and the realities we're not going
- 21:18Speaker 1: to get that we need to be okay, No, we
- 21:22Speaker 1: need to be confident with our progress. I want you
- 21:29Speaker 1: to begin looking at your decisions from this lens, not
- 21:36Speaker 1: limiting it to just what you know, limiting it to
- 21:40Speaker 1: having one hundred percent certainty, but bringing in, bringing it
- 21:44Speaker 1: all together with the external resources, sharing, bringing in the experts,
- 21:49Speaker 1: the colleagues, the mentors to help you get on a
- 21:53Speaker 1: path that is going to help you get where you
- 21:57Speaker 1: need to go further and faster. And I heard this
- 22:02Speaker 1: from a coach several years ago. You can go at
- 22:06Speaker 1: things alone, but you get there further and faster would help.
- 22:13Speaker 1: This process is going to help you get on your
- 22:16Speaker 1: journey and in some cases, like what happened to me,
- 22:21Speaker 1: to exceed what it is that you were hoping to accomplish.
- 22:26Speaker 1: And even with that exceeding, I still say, I embrace
- 22:31Speaker 1: every uncertainty, every factor, knowing that it's not perfect. The
- 22:39Speaker 1: decision I made, even while all the goodies that came
- 22:42Speaker 1: out of it is not perfect, but I made some
- 22:45Speaker 1: amazing progress and that I can be confident about. I
- 22:55Speaker 1: hope you enjoyed this week's episode of the Urine Ritsub podcast.
- 22:59Speaker 1: And the only way I'm going to know this is
- 23:00Speaker 1: if you leave me some feedback. Feedback is a gift
- 23:03Speaker 1: and it is free to give, and I would like
- 23:06Speaker 1: to hear from you. I would like to know what
- 23:08Speaker 1: resonated with you regarding this week's episode. Now here's how
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- 23:49Speaker 1: people that you spoke with today. Also, you can share
- 23:53Speaker 1: this on your socials. You can find me primarily on
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- 24:00Speaker 1: can find me at my Enriched Self that's m y
- 24:03Speaker 1: E N R C h E D s E l F,
- 24:08Speaker 1: and you can hashtag this episode. You can tag me.
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- 24:12Speaker 1: showcase your friends and families and those in the social
- 24:15Speaker 1: streets what you're listening to and what's feeding you mind,
- 24:18Speaker 1: body and spirit. I also want you to check out
- 24:21Speaker 1: the show notes. In the show notes, we have the
- 24:23Speaker 1: affirmation of the Week, the quote of the week, and
- 24:27Speaker 1: there you can also find my Amazon shop. The Your
- 24:30Speaker 1: Rich Self shop has two items right now, a journal
- 24:35Speaker 1: which is the Show Up Everyday Journal, as well as
- 24:39Speaker 1: the Show Up Everyday Notebook, So check those out in
- 24:42Speaker 1: my Amazon shops. And finally, take what you can from
- 24:46Speaker 1: this episode, and do what you must in the next
- 24:50Speaker 1: one hundred and sixty eight hours so that you can
- 24:53Speaker 1: become more of your enriched self. Until we feed the