Latest / Council of Kings / How I Navigate Burnout, Heaviness, & Depression

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How I Navigate Burnout, Heaviness, & Depression · Council of Kings

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everybody.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Good to see you.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Sending love.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Felt like making a video about suffering, difficulty, struggle.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes it seems like
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: More people could talk about their struggles while they're in the midst of them
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: and talk about how they work with the energy of those struggles.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'd like to do that today.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: I've been going through a
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: pretty difficult time in my life,
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: a time of
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Heaviness,
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: tiredness,
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: feeling a sense of burnout,
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: a sense of, yeah,
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: just life feeling kind of overwhelming or nonstop,
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: like just day in, day out, having
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: lot of obligations.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And yearning on a deep level for deeper rest,
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: which can show up
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: fantasizing about just being able to pause life and go
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: to some healing sanctuary in a forest and just rest for years on end.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Wake up every day and do absolutely nothing if that's what's called for
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: or do whatever I feel like doing.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah,
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: that's kind of how this deep tiredness or burnout,
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: perhaps some kind of depression can show up for me.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: And, um, yeah, I'm familiar with these kinds of feelings.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: It seems to be pretty cyclical for me.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: For whatever reason,
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: often it is around this time of year that I experienced some of my deepest sense
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: of tiredness or exhaustion or burnout.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And, um,
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so an interesting question to me is how
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: do I work with that energy
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: and how do other people work with that energy?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very open to hearing from others about how you work with the energy of
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: any kind
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: of suffering or sorrow, difficulty, exhaustion.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps especially tiredness, exhaustion, burnout seems very relevant to me right now.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So feel welcome to share.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, when I asked myself that question, how do I work with this energy?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um,
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: First and foremost, I allow it.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: This is how I relate to life on a very deep,
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: very profound level is from a place of allowing whatever is arising,
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: allowing and welcoming whatever is arising.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Just having a sense of, okay, this is what's happening now.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Let's let it flow through, let it pass through.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Even the way I'm framing the question of how do I work
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: with this energy already reveals a lot about how I relate to life
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: because I'm not making this
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Into an overly fixed condition or fixed situation that's like,
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: oh, why am I encaged in this very rigid, very fixed situation?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm seeing it more as a flowing energy.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: I see everything as a flowing energy.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: To me, all of life is an ever new, ever fresh, continually refreshing flow energy.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Of different flavors of energy.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Essentially,
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: all of life is one unified continuum of many different textures and flavors
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: of energy.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: So in a deep sense,
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: when textures like this are arising for me,
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I see them as just another color on the color wheel,
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  SPEAKER_00: just another hue on the rainbow of life, just another texture.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: In this many textured fresco,
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: this many textured painting that is again ever new and ever fresh.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I often remind myself to really look freshly at this moment and what is appearing
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: in this moment and to notice that I've never seen it before.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I've never felt these precise feelings or sensations before.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: The mind wants to kind of Dumb things down through a reductive averaging process
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: and say, oh yeah, this is burnout.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is heaviness.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is exhaustion.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is depression.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then you kind of put it in a box.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And in a way, putting your experience in that box can actually over-solidify it.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you can kind of grasp onto that story and you can Further perpetuate
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: and create further layers of suffering by over grasping onto
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: the story
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: about whatever seems to be occurring.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think in Buddhism, they sometimes call that something like the second arrow of suffering.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: The first arrow is just the raw data of whatever seems to be presenting
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: that feels uncomfortable.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: The second layer is The stories we start telling ourselves about it and grasping
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: onto and ruminating on and looping on.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And often that story,
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: that second layer is a much larger source of suffering
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: because it can really perpetuate and extend and expand
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: that suffering pretty much endlessly.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: We can start living in this.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Fabricated story of woe is me.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is just how my life is.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: I suck.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Life sucks.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm perpetually depressed.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that can become kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas what
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Buddhism and
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: other paths of wisdom teach us in a way is how
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: to be more like The animals who,
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: when they encounter pain or discomfort,
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: they basically just shake it off, often literally so.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Just shake it out, shake it off, and then just move on.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it's gone.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And they don't create that second layer of ruminating suffering about it.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, for me, it's valuable to look at my immediate experience and say,
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: What are these words that I'm applying?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Words like burnout, depression, exhaustion, tiredness.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: What do they really refer to in this moment now?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And to, in a sense,
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: can be very valuable to even just negate those concepts entirely and say,
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: there is no burnout.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: There is no depression.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: There is no tiredness.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: There is no exhaustion.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: These are just fictitious things.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Words and stories that the mind has invented and applied very reductively to
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: an ever shifting, ever flowing flurry of sensation.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Let me actually go to and zoom in on and become more intimate with
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: the microscopic detail of this ever shifting flurry of sensation.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And when I go to that ever shifting flurry and hurricane of sensation here and now.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I find something that's much more open and free and unpindownable.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like going to the level of
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Of pure being or pure awareness,
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: turning awareness back upon itself and just being with what is the actual raw data
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: of aliveness that's showing up in this moment beyond what
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: the thought-based stories are saying that it is?
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: What is the actual textural multisensory data?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Data of pure, raw, naked aliveness here and now.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And just simply being with that and allowing that,
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: letting that flow through, letting that be felt nakedly
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: can be very, very helpful.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I try to remind myself of that.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And again, just this
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: This orientation or disposition of total allowing,
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: total welcoming,
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: deep surrender,
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: it's hard to really express how valuable that is because even in the midst
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: of
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: quite intensely negative experiences or what other people would categorize
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: as intensely negative or uncomfortable experiences,
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: I still often
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: experience quite a profound sense of freedom and a deeper ease
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: and peace that even if I'm not feeling like things are easy,
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: even if things feel hard on a human embodied level,
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's like,
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: there's still this in touchness with this deeper level of ease and freedom
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: where there's just a sense of, okay, just breathe through it.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is allowed.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is flowing.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is welcome.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: This too shall pass.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: These are just gloppy textures that are moving through coagulated textures.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Just let them be felt, receive whatever messages they may have to offer.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And, um,
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Trust the flow and feel that the flow is already fully trusting of the flow.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: In a sense,
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: there's nothing to trust because there's only one thing here in
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: a profound sense is what the wisdom traditions teach us and what can be discovered
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: in immediate experiences that there is just simply this flow of life,
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: this ocean of life flowing itself, totally surrendered
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: To itself as itself.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And therefore the wave has no need to fear the ocean because the wave just simply is the ocean.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: We don't need to fear life because we are life.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: We are the essence of life simply dancing and expressing itself
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: in whatever way it happens to be doing at any given time.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: And in a profound sense, it's not personal, not serious.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: It has no weight to it in a profound sense.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it's out of our control, too, in a deep sense.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say don't overly grasp onto anything I'm saying here.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: These are just kind of pointers to a direct experiential reality
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: where you can discover this all-pervading dimension of your experience
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: where everything feels Deeply weightless,
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: deeply free, deeply at peace, simply abiding, simply flowing.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's not in your hands.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's out of your hands.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: You can't grasp it.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: You can't control it.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a pure, spontaneous flow of life living itself.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when we get into this territory, it can be paradoxical, you know.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying to totally negate the idea of choice or free will.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: It can be very important to have an experience of choice or an experience
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  SPEAKER_00: of directing one's will in a certain direction.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: So again, don't overly grasp onto what I'm saying.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: However,
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: what I'm pointing to is a possibility of A freedom that's always available,
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: a freedom for life to be just as it is,
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: freedom for life to flow just how it flows,
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: a freedom for everything to be allowed just as it is.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: And the more deeply that I...
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Allow myself to open to that freedom here and now,
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: to open to this unpindownable flow,
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: and to really be with this immediate aliveness as an ungraspable,
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: unresolvable flurry and cascade of unknown sensations and just openness.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: In a way,
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: the openness and the vastness can feel much greater than The sensation,
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: like there's an infinite wholeness,
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: openness, and vastness that is always right here with us.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the more I let myself open to that and release into that,
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: the more that I almost forget what had even seemed like a problem.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: There's almost like a dissolution of
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Any sense of contraction or identity is almost like forgetting who you even are
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: or what a story would be.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's just this openness, this freedom, this joy, this peace that's always here.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Ananda Maima once said something like, your nature is joy.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not feeling joy, it's because you're looking outside.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Just turn your gaze within and rediscover the joy that always is.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: And similarly,
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Peter Brown would often say,
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: if something looks like a problem, just look in the other direction.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Huh?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Which some people would take as, oh, a form of avoidance or something like that.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: But what Peter was pointing to is something quite profound.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: The same thing I would say that Ananda Maima was pointing to.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: And the same thing I would say that in a profound sense Jesus was pointing to.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: When he said, repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Repent means to change direction.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Outward on the object level phenomena of life and what life seems to be.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Turn around and focus inward on the nature of being itself, the nature of awareness itself.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what Peter and Ananamayama were pointing to too.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: If something seems like a problem,
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: you can be sure that you are lost in your Definitions of what life is,
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: because all problems are defined into existence.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Even if I'm feeling a lot of gloppy, heavy sensation, I don't have to define that as a problem.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: And when I don't define it as a problem,
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: when I just, again,
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: go to the space of pure sensation,
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: pure being,
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  SPEAKER_00: pure presence,
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  SPEAKER_00: pure awareness,
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: where awareness and its apparent contents are all Just being allowed
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: as this undefined sparkling flow.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: That is what it means to turn inward, to turn truly inward.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about turning to your thoughts and emotions.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Those are still outward from the perspective of what is most essential.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: From the perspective of that which witnesses the thoughts and emotions.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Those are still outer.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: So what is inmost is outward.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: This space, again,
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: of pure being,
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: pure presence,
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: pure sensation,
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: pure awareness where nothing can be even defined as anything
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: because it's really seen that as soon as you say a single word or create
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: a single definition,
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: you have
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: in a way coagulated the flow or blocked the flow by creating a kind
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: of artificial construction within it.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're trying to take the infinite super ocean of reality and collapse it down into
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: a jam jar, trying to fit it in the jam jar of a concept or a construct.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: And you're never going to be able to do that.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so it creates a kind of
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: artificial blockage
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: of the flow.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas again, when you go to this
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Ever-present level of pure sensation,
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: pure presence,
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: pure awareness,
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: which isn't even really a level once you're kind of there,
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: once you kind of notice this ever-present spaciousness,
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: the felt experience is more like, oh, this is all that there actually is.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is what is residing beneath all of our inaccurate stories about what this is.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the stories are fine.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're all included.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: They can be beautiful poetry.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: But they're just always going to miss the mark dramatically in terms
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: of their capacity to actually accurately reflect what this is.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because what this is,
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: this infinite mystery,
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: this infinite wholeness, it is vastly beyond anything that could be conceptualized.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it's vastly too simple for that.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: Any concept makes it far more complicated than what it actually is,
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: which is in its innate sense.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Condition is utterly and unimaginably simple.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: It is just simply ocean being ocean.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Ocean being ocean is all there is.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Life being life is all there is.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Universe being universe is all there is.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: God being God is all there is.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, tuning in to...
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: That kind of noticing,
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: that kind of freedom portal,
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: freedom inquiry is
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: really to me the most powerful
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: medicinal thing that one can do in
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: the midst of any form of suffering and in the midst of really any moment of life
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: because it is the portal to The true nature of wealth,
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: the true nature of happiness,
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: the true nature of success,
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: of prosperity,
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: of joy, of well-being, of wholeness, of peace, are always and only here and now.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Always and only here and now.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: The deepest and truest treasures that we're looking for in life.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: The cosmic joke is that they are only and always discovered here and now.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: They are always present.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: But we're usually overlooking them because we're fixated on the outside.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: We're fixated on the external and we're not directing our attention inward,
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: which means to rest as what is most primordial,
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: what is beyond grasp,
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: the ungraspable wholeness, the ungraspable pure being of what this is.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Foundationally is beyond what words could say, beyond what the mind could ever grasp.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's the purest simplicity, wholeness and freedom that is always here.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so that
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: is my main focus when I'm going through anything in life.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: For one,
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: it's just at this point,
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: it's been so deeply internalized that a deep kind of reorientation
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: of my being has taken place where I don't even need to consciously focus on this
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: for me to just deeply know this.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: In one lyric I say, I'm present when I'm not present.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Even when we're not consciously being present or practicing mindfulness,
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: we're still fully present because presence is all there is.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: See if you can find anything other than presence here and now in any moment of life.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: I would suggest that you cannot,
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: the past or the future, only appear as ideas or images here and now.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Presence is all that there is.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: This immediate present flow is the totality of life dancing on the razor's edge
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: of manifestation here and now.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: The super ocean of pure being,
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: which in its essence, you could say is changeless, is always just simply what it is.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: That totality is here now.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's naturally emanating or emerging as this kind of light show,
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: this kind of apparition of phenomena.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: And we usually spend all our time super fixated on the patterning,
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: the apparent patterning within the phenomena and all of the The meaning
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: that we're generating and giving to all of this phenomenon and trying to kind
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: of make it all make sense and trying to find how do I objectively fit
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: within all this and what is my objective purpose within all this
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: and what should I do and in a way.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: From the view of the deepest freedom,
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: peace, and love, those are all the wrong questions and kind of the wrong focus.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing inherently wrong with it.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's totally natural.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's what life naturally does.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: So everything is okay.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is welcome and included.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And at the same time,
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: if you are drawn to the deepest freedom and peace that can be available even through
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: the travails and the You know,
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: then you want to redirect your focus in the opposite direction, inward.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know,
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: instead of trying to make sense of what's out there and how do I fit into all that,
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: you just want to Spend a lot of time noticing this most naked primordial fact
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: that everything already simply is as it is.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is already whole.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is already perfect.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is already living itself and flowing itself.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you simply are that flow.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to find how you fit in this picture because you are the picture.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: You are the picture and you already perfectly fit.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Every scene is totally and wholly complete unto itself.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you are that completion.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know,
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: what seems to be this body is perfectly,
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: you know, perfectly situated and appropriately fitted within that completion.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not even like it's fitted like a puzzle piece,
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: because that would mean it's kind of something separate that's fit
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: within this tapestry.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: Is the tapestry emanating forth as all of the apparent differentiation within
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: an underlying super ocean of totality,
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: completion, wholeness, grace, and freedom and love.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: So that is my primal focus again and a focus that has been so deeply internalized
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: that I don't even...
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Really need to consciously focus on it.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: There's just,
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: there's like a knowing in my heart,
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: in my belly, in my bones that everything is okay.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: The wave need not fear the ocean because the wave simply is the ocean.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: The ocean is all there is.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: There's just this deeply internalized knowing that all is flow.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Let it flow.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: All is allowed.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: All is flowing.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: All is included.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: All is, all is well.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, In a way that has room for anything that seems unwell.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: All appearances of wellness or not wellness, comfort or discomfort, pain or joy.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: There's room for all of it within this deeper wellness and wholeness,
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: this deeper wellspring and womb of pure being.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: So it's that pure being that is...
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: The true jewel to be discovered in life and the discovery of that pure being brings
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: about a profound intimacy with all that is and the discovery
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: that you've always been profoundly intimate with all there is and
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: that you've always known pure being
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: because pure being is all that's actually here is all there really is.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: But this reorientation is basically a noticing of what has always been the case and
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: a deep internalizing Of that noticing such that one's being on deeper
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: and deeper embodied levels,
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: it keeps sinking in,
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: into the marrow,
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: into the cell tissues, into the mitochondria, this deep message of wholeness now.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Home now.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm home now.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm whole now.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is home.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is wholeness.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is freedom.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is pure flow dancing itself.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: So that has been deeply internalized for me.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's profoundly,
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: profoundly valuable when facing any kind of pain or suffering or exhaustion
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: or burnout or what have you,
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: because there's just this deeply internalized knowingness that in a profound sense,
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: it doesn't matter what textures seem to be appearing.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter what scene in the movie seems to be appearing.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is still inalienably,
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: inexhaustibly wholeness,
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: freedom, love, pure being, just being what it is, just dancing its dance.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's all there is to it.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: And
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: yeah, at the same time, I will also say that there is And awareness too.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I encourage people to investigate that dimension
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: of what could be called enlightenment or awakening or God realization or
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: the discovery of simple freedom now, wholeness now, pure flow now.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: That exploration has been one of the very most fruitful purposes.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: Probably the most fruitful exploration of my life that ripples into everything.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: And at the same time,
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: I would also still encourage and invite people to be open
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: to more human level remedies and medicines that can help with whatever's coming up.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: So for me right now,
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: facing burnout,
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: facing some exhaustion, there's a clear sense of, okay, I need to prioritize sleep.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: I need to get to bed earlier.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: Not necessarily I need, that feels kind of too much like a dictate.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's more like, okay,
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: there's a seed of a clear invitation within the symptoms
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: that are presenting themselves.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: So the symptoms that are presenting themselves present a clear and natural invitation of,
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: You are invited to get more rest.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: You are invited to go to bed earlier.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: You are invited to let go of forms of stimulation.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: You are invited to let go of
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: drinking beer as much.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: You are invited to Find spaces of self-care and sanctuary.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: You are invited to move and to eat clean foods.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: You are invited to find space for retreat.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: You are invited to find space for meditation,
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: for sauna, for cold shower, for nourishing, simple presence, gentle presence.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: Flows of activity.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: You are invited to make space,
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: if it feels right,
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: if you're called to work with some kind of plant medicine in a wise fashion,
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: which often is very rejuvenating for me.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm also aware of these invitations on a more human level,
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: and I'm being deeply honest with myself about what I'm feeling,
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: about what is coming up.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm allowing more human level remedies and antidotes and medicines
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: to make themselves known and to assist
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: while also simultaneously having this deeper kind of totalizing awareness
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: of this inferno of grace,
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: of freedom,
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: of love,
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: of home that is ever present,
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: that includes everything, that fully includes everything.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: The kind of valley of sorrow and suffering and includes the invitations to climb out
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: of that valley through various medicinal remedies.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: And from the viewless view of this ever-present grace,
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: the mountain peak or the climb out of the valley is not greater than
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: or more valuable than the valley itself.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's all seen to be,
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: in a profound sense,
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: an equally valuable or valueless or neither valuable nor valueless expression
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: of wholeness,
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: another expression of pure artistry that just simply Is what it is,
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: another innately gorgeous and poetic,
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: miraculous emanation of the creative intelligence
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: of life doing whatever it's doing moment to moment in its mysterious way
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: that cannot be said and cannot be intellectually known,
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: cannot be cognized,
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: yet which Is known and can be known most intimately because we are that pure flow.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: We are that omnipresent source which shines and dances and emerges and emanates
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: as all of this ever-shifting fruition,
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: fruitfulness,
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: all of these appearances, all of these scenes within the play of being.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: So we are all of that.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: We are infinity.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: You are infinity.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: You are perfection here and now.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: You are wholeness.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: You are perfection.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: You are love.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: You are grace.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: You are unity.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: You are freedom.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you can let yourself know and feel that now while also having compassion
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: for yourself,
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: grace for yourself,
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: gentleness toward yourself and whatever's arising and being open to
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: The natural invitations toward the more human level remedies and medicines
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: that can assist with various ailments while also beginning to sink into the depth
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: of clarity that sees the pure perfection even of the condition that is defined as
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: an ailment or as
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: something, you know, uncomfortable or awry or askew.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just the perfection that sees it all as wholly included,
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: wholly embraced, wholly allowed to be as it is.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's pretty much the message I wanted to share today.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening and considering and just sending a whole lot of love
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: and peace to everybody out there, fellow sufferers, fellow humans going through it.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: I feel you.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: This life can get damn hard.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody faces some kind of struggle.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: You never know what other people are going through.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I would love to invite us to be kind to one another,
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: to have compassion, to be open to radical peace.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: We could just
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: melt and deconstruct all the weapons and just create world peace now.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: And just make life easier on each other because it's already hard enough.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: So why do we need to kill each other and stuff like that?
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just set the kids free.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do it for the kids.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do it all for love.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: Do it all for God and grace.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: Create the beautiful world our hearts know is possible while also deeply realizing
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: the perfection that's already here and resting in and as that perfection of now.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: That would be my message and invitation.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: Take what resonates, let go of what doesn't.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: Love and peace to everybody.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: Be well.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: Aho.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: Namaste.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: I love you.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: Peace.