Latest / The Kink Consultant / Ep 24 - Redefining Real Intimacy: How Make Love Not Porn is Changing the Conversation

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Ep 24 - Redefining Real Intimacy: How Make Love Not Porn is Changing the Conversation · The Kink Consultant

0:08
It's the King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
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on all things kink and dating, relationships and cop culture.
0:14
So close the door, plugging your headphones and let's get down to
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it. Everybody, welcome to this
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week's episode of The King Consultant.
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I am here with Sanaya, a curator for Make Love, Not Porn.
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Welcome, Sanaya. Thank you.
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I'm really happy to be here and it's very nice to meet you.
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It's lovely to meet you too. This is a long time in the
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making. We started talking over two
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months ago. Oh.
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My gosh, isn't really too much so.
0:41
It's been two months. Yeah.
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So one of your colleagues reached out and we hopped on a
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call. And then this is how the world
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works. Sometimes it takes two months.
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So I know that you're a curator for Make Love Not Porn, but
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let's start with what Make Love Not Porn is for the viewers out
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there who aren't. Familiar, sure.
1:00
So Make Love Not Porn is the first user generated real world
1:05
sex platform. The best way that I could
1:07
describe it is that it is your social media of sex, if you
1:14
will. Real sex.
1:16
Yeah, real sex. It's a really community oriented
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space, very community oriented, where our Not Porn stars are
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definitely of course, the stars of the platform, Yeah, but also
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our members are really huge contributors and a huge part of
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what makes Make Love Not Porn. Make Love, Not Porn.
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It does have a social media feel to it.
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I've fallen in love with couples and like, can we be friends type
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of things? You know what I mean?
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And you feel that in the comments under the videos.
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Oh, I'm not the only person that's like, it's like a human
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crush on them. Oh, they're so real.
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Yeah, they're so sweet. Yeah, yeah, so sweet.
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Myself and my colleagues will sometimes, like fan out.
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Oh my God, this couple, we love them so much.
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And like when we have our community, like meet and greet
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type things or like community meetups on Zoom, we'll meet some
2:03
of our make them not porn stars for the first time or have a
2:06
chance like talk to them face to face because everything's
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through e-mail. We're just like, Oh my gosh, I
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just love them so much. They're just so sweet.
2:11
They're so cool. If we want to be friends with
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that for sure. That's how I feel in some of the
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videos where they do like an introduction and I'm like, I
2:18
fall in love with them there because I just see how they are
2:20
as a couple, like a real life couple.
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I think that's how we're moving. And then we had reality TV and
2:26
we got addicted to that. And then we got TikTok where
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everyone was being so fucking real.
2:31
Yeah. And there was like 0 editing,
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there was 0 scripting. And I think that's the direction
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we've all gone in. And that's what you're getting
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from this. I'm getting to see the real life
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couple. I get back story on how they
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ended up having this sex and it's not contrived.
2:44
The pizza delivery guys shows up.
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It's well, we were in the park today and we were a little.
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Adventurous and this is what happened and then you get to see
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that. Yeah, I'm obsessed with it.
2:53
No, I'm so glad that you mentioned that because I think a
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lot of times, something that I've come across being a
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curator, we receive all of the emails as well.
3:02
There's like a customer support side of things as well.
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Sometimes people will be like, Oh my gosh, like I saw this
3:07
video and it reminded me of like a traditional porn site.
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Make Love, not porn. We are pro sex, pro porn,
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absolutely. Whatever is you're young, we
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love it. But real world sex looks
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different for everybody. That could be sweet and gentle
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and sensual or it could be a hard kinky spanking, which is
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like. So some people might be
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associated with porn, but that's not necessarily the reality.
3:31
Yeah, that's somebody's everyday sex.
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That's true, yeah. It's my everyday sex.
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The other thing is with porn, I feel like it's the same
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theatrical all the time and it's meant for visual and with Make
3:42
Love, not porn. It's not exactly that.
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I've seen women do certain things.
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I'm like, oh, if that's feeling good for her, I need to try
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that. Do you know what I mean?
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It's like a certain arch in the back or something and I know
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lots of men do that. I sometimes I feel like some
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porn is just made for men and their visuals.
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So like seeing a woman arch in a certain way, I'm like, oh, I
4:00
need to try that next time. That's really funny that you
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said that too, because there's actually a new couple that just
4:07
submitted a couple of videos over the last month and, and
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they have this deck of cards that has like different sex
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positions on it and they try them and I love watching their
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videos because it's like, we started off with this.
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They're very like eccentric and a really great fun way, but
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they're like, we started off doing sensual stretching and
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yoga together. And then we were like, we pulled
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from the deck of cards and it was like this.
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So then we like, oh, we're gonna try this out.
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We had to make sure we were prepared before.
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I love this because I'm like, OK, classical.
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I've never seen that done before.
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The novelty of it. What does it mean for you to be
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a curator? Then?
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What does a curator do? Curators are basically what runs
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the site. So that's myself and two other
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people on the team, my colleagues, and we literally
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watch every single video from beginning to end.
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The process of submitting videos for at least like through the
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curation team is you submit your video, we see it in our queue
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and we contact you. So this is another part of that
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community concept that Make Love dot Porn has is that we e-mail
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you where you like, let you know that we got your video, we're
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reviewing it, and we have constant communication back and
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forth with you about making sure you have your ID's, making sure
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there's emails for everyone involved, and making sure that
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everything is legal, consensual, and real.
5:25
Yeah, that's what curators do. On top, of course, community
5:28
management with social media. So you're with creators from.
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Beginning to end, Yeah. Wow, that's such a personalized
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service. Yeah.
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Do you feel like you know all of that?
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Do you get? Certain people yours or do you
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share it with other curators? It's like a balance of both.
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There's definitely some people where it's OK.
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If this person's video comes in, usually I'll do it.
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Or if this other person's video comes in, my other colleague
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will do it. We share it and spread it and we
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change it around just so I think we all get a chance to see who's
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doing what. If you go to the website, the
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curators are there listed. It's here are our curators.
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I love that because it's oh this is who would want if we're to
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submit a video which anybody can anyone can be a Make Love not
6:08
porn star Yeah, as long as they follow the guidelines they're
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uploading real video. They just have to go to the site
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and fill out a form and. Upload.
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Yeah. So the process is really easy,
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of course, you just have to be 18, which is most important, be
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18. And yeah, you go to our website
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and you click on share and it directs you straight to our
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submission form. And you can read through all of
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our guidelines, which we have pretty standard rules, I would
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say. Of course there's some other
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sites that might allow other things, but for us there's like
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pretty just like hard and fast rules, which is that everything
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is like I said, legal, consensual, real, no animals, no
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children, no poop. And this is a really interesting
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thing that I actually got a question of health the other day
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because it says no animals. Someone was like, wait, my cat
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lives with me and like, sometimes they come in to the
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shot and they're like, I was like, no, we literally have A
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tag on the website of like dogs of MLMP, cats of MLMP like that
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like interrupt sex or whatever. So I'm like, no, very, it's very
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real. Like, I can't tell you how many
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times I've dated people or gone somewhere and people are like,
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yeah, my dog, like, stays in the room.
7:14
But I have to ask, no poop. That's actually a personal
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boundary of mine. I don't do poop.
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I used to be a pro Dom and my rule was like no.
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Poop. You don't get to watch me poop.
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I'm not watching you poop. No poop.
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Yeah. Why just Make Love have that
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rule? That's a good question.
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I personally don't know. I think that's just a hard
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boundary for. With it, we're all allowed to
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have our boundary. I'm almost just eternally
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curious. Like, why?
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And what about golden showers? Oh, we have lots of golden
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showers. OK, so like I mentioned earlier,
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we have a bunch of different tags and we call them we call it
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our lictionary. So they are our real world sex
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versions of like your stereotypical horn.
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OK, yeah, terms. So lick job is our term for
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like, cunnilingus, and backdoor is like our term for anal.
8:03
So we actually ended up getting so many different golden shower
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videos that we created A tag for it because, yeah, so many people
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were suggesting videos and interested in them.
8:12
Yeah. I need to go check those out
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Yeah, I'm not even a golden shower and if I were a golden
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shower person, I would have zero problem admitting it.
8:20
As we know, I talk about all my kinks in my favorite case, but
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yeah, I'm like, I want to see how real world people.
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That's curiosity of mine it because I always say if you're
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interested in it, either you put down garbage bags or you go into
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the shower. I want to see how people do it
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in real life. And that's what I like about it
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too. It's like you really do get to
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see how people, yeah, actually navigate these things.
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For sure yeah, we've got some really interesting videos, lots
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of outdoor ones. I know if I had to say what was
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our like top thing on Make Love Not Porn or like top tag, It's
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got to be outdoors. It's.
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Really funny because I gravitate towards outdoor stuff as well.
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It's just seeing. I think it's because I don't do
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it, so there's a novelty in that.
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That's fair. Oh, look at them being brave.
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I enjoy being voyeuristic. I am not as much an exhibition
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as probably because I get in. My head it makes me nervous so
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watching other people enjoy it like serves both purposes for
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me. I think that's another really
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awesome thing about me, Love Not Porn is that it is a place where
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you can go and it's OK. I'm gonna get taken out of my
9:17
comfort zone in a very safe environment because everything,
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like I had mentioned before, we are non judgmental.
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If it's your young, we're here for it.
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Obviously everybody has their boundaries and their likes and
9:28
their dislikes and you can filter and shift through all the
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videos on our site either through the filtering or like I
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mentioned, you have those lictionary tags where you can
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click on things that you already know you like or discover
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something new and I really appreciate that.
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Make Love Not Porn makes it easy for people to access those
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things. Yeah, it really does.
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I was saying before I don't watch a ton of traditional porn
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for a couple of reasons. I don't watch a ton of it
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because I'm really into spanking.
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That is my thing. I'm going to find a video that
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is specifically about spanking and just watch that.
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So I never really expanded into porn, but with Make Love Not
10:01
Porn, I'm falling in love with these couples and then I feel
10:03
like I'm watching a love story and getting to see the whole
10:06
thing and it's a different experience.
10:08
Yeah, it's so cool to see the connectedness that I think we
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have, obviously with being professional, but also having
10:17
that, the care because we're seeing our Make Love Not Porn
10:20
stars in so many different lives, moments in life, we have
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had Make Love Not Porn stars that have gone through different
10:27
relationships, who have shared their fertility journey and
10:30
their pregnancy journey. People who have transitioned on
10:33
Make Love, Not Porn. Like all sorts of name changes
10:36
everything. Chills from that, yeah.
10:38
It's important work and it's very special that we get to
10:41
share in these people's lives and be a part of their journey.
10:45
Yeah. Honestly, now you're comment
10:47
about social media, I was like, yeah, I feel it.
10:48
I feel like it is like social community when you sit, put it
10:51
that way. And I'm like, we're seeing
10:53
people's entire lives then not just the sex, not just the
10:56
here's what I can show you on TikTok or Instagram because it's
10:59
not banned. You actually get someone's
11:01
entire life experience. Yeah, what I think is even more
11:05
so that makes it special. You're literally seeing people
11:08
in the most intimate moments, Like people are naked.
11:10
Sometimes they're clothed, of course, in like their
11:12
introductory videos. But yeah, you're seeing people
11:14
in like, vulnerable states. Like people are naked.
11:16
They're sharing things with you about their lives that are like,
11:19
very personal. And it's very special to be able
11:23
to see this and be trusted with that information in this
11:26
community. That's amazing.
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I think that vulnerability is one of the most sacred things
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and for people to be willing to share it like that is special
11:34
too. Do you have favorite couples?
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Do you have when you see a video come in that you're like excited
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to catch up on their live? I don't know, I could say I have
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a favorite. I definitely am just like always
11:43
really excited whenever we get a couple that we haven't seen
11:47
doing something before. I think that's like where I
11:49
would say it's like my favorite thing.
11:51
I definitely love all of our couples in their own way.
11:55
Everybody's so cool, especially. Because I was in a different
11:57
part of the world and I think just like seeing how people live
12:00
their lives. I noticed that too.
12:02
I'm watching people and I'm like, where's this accent?
12:05
Because I'm not the best at deciphering accent.
12:07
I'm like, where are they from? Are they English or Australian,
12:10
which I know I'm gonna get a lot of comments on.
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There's a lot of people that make happening.
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That's all the difference. I can't, I'm sorry.
12:15
Addictive is the wrong word. But like the social side of it
12:18
and getting to know the people is because it's so authentic.
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Yeah, from beginning to end, it's an authentic experience and
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that's novel. Now, even with the world of
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Instagram, they're not faking it.
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It's all real and that's exciting.
12:30
That's something to that we like to mention a lot with,
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especially when we get new Make Love, not porn stars.
12:36
A lot of people are like what lighting should I use?
12:38
What camera should I use? What editing software?
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And I'm like, you can just throw on your phone or whatever camera
12:44
and forget it's there and then edit it if you want.
12:46
Don't edit it. People will love it regardless.
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It's. True, yeah I know it's mind
12:51
blowing, especially for people who I always self identify as
12:54
someone who doesn't love porn because of the spanking fetish.
12:56
Just never really relating to any of the angles that they're
12:59
showing or the story because I very much want a real situation.
13:03
Make Love not porn is very much love not porn.
13:06
So you're watching every video that comes on you and your group
13:10
of curators? Yes, every video.
13:12
Is there anything that doesn't make the cut?
13:14
Yeah, we've definitely had a lot of things that don't make the
13:17
cut. Sex looks different to
13:19
everybody. So I think that something, which
13:22
is why this is also like super nuanced whenever a video comes
13:26
in and we watch it from beginning to end.
13:28
So it's where it's individual, right?
13:30
So I get assigned to a video and I'm the only one who watches it.
13:33
There are a few cases where sometimes I'm like, hey, I
13:35
watched this video, but I'm not really sure if this would do all
13:40
on the website. Now it's pretty rare that this
13:43
happens where I might ask for a second opinion for the other
13:46
curators to watch it, but usually what fixes that or what
13:50
makes it go through or doesn't pass is how thorough the
13:54
description is or the intro video is.
13:57
OK, there are some people who their real world sex is, they
14:02
just love to do like sensual touch and yes, they're baby
14:07
naked, but there's no penetration, There's no
14:09
necessary like explicit sexual act that's happening.
14:13
Some people might be like that's just like a sensual massage or
14:16
something. But to somebody that's sexy and
14:18
makes you want to make a masturbator, I don't know, turns
14:21
you on. And as long as you're explaining
14:23
to us in your description or your intro video, like why
14:26
that's real world sex to you, it will go through Videos that we
14:30
don't allow to go through are usually videos that are like
14:35
this is a little too porn or it looks very like inauthentic.
14:40
It looks a little more stage. Yeah.
14:42
Not to say that we don't have role play videos.
14:44
We do have role play videos on Make Love, not porn.
14:47
It's again just are you explaining why that is real
14:50
world? Sex to you and is someone able
14:52
to easily like identify that? I like that threshold because
14:56
you're right. For some people the that feather
14:58
touch possible sensual massage thing could be someone's entire
15:02
turn on and the act of not having penetrative sex is what
15:05
makes them enjoy the video. But explaining that is
15:08
important. Otherwise, what am I looking at
15:10
right now? Yes.
15:11
And another thing too, like I mentioned how we have a lot of
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people on Make Love Not Porn who share different parts of their
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lives. There are people who have
15:20
different medical conditions where that is something that's
15:22
not a possibility for them. We've had people on Make Love
15:26
not porn and Make Love not porn stars who have like vaginismus.
15:29
Yeah, different things like that where they're like penetration
15:31
hurts. That's not what sex is for me.
15:33
And I don't focus on that. So I think it's really important
15:35
that when we are reviewing all of our videos that we make sure
15:38
that we have a spectrum of not just like showcasing variety,
15:43
but also being aware that people live different lives, they have
15:47
different needs. And like I said, real world sex
15:50
looks different for everybody. It really.
15:51
Does I mean for me it's spanking for other people in be that
15:54
touch or central massage. Very true.
15:57
Yeah. Oh my gosh, can I just say I'm
15:59
super excited and having so much fun on that because it's such an
16:03
exciting website and in some ways I'm surprised.
16:07
It feels Make Love not porn. Is the first group to do this or
16:10
do it in this way? Do you have competitors?
16:13
There are definitely other websites that have this similar
16:17
ethos of being real world or being realistic, and I think
16:21
that obviously the more the merrier, which is also a
16:24
shameless plug. That is one of our tags for
16:26
three sums and like more sums on our site.
16:29
There's like this this craving for like real anything yes and I
16:34
especially in the porn world, in this like adult content world,
16:38
people want it to be as real as possible.
16:40
And I think that people are trying to create that where
16:43
unfortunately sometimes it ends up still being like staged in a
16:46
way where OK, it's real, but to a certain extent.
16:49
So yeah, I'm sure there's a million different types of
16:52
things that exist or even people who that's like their type of
16:55
content. It's like real world things.
16:57
Our place in this world or Make Love not porns like place on the
17:01
Internet is to be one safe space for people to talk about and
17:06
share the real world sex and then also to educate, which is
17:11
partially how the Academy came about it's.
17:13
Because the education piece is super important too.
17:16
That sets my glove, not porn, apart from a lot of different
17:20
sites. And So what can we expect from
17:22
the Academy and when can we expect the Academy?
17:24
Yeah, well, not Porn Academy is going to be an aggregator hub
17:28
for people who work to inform about sex.
17:30
Sex educators, therapists, coaches, podcasters, authors,
17:35
you name it, they're gonna be on our site and it's gonna be an
17:38
aggregator hub and a shop window for sexual health and Wellness
17:43
education. We're really excited about it
17:45
and it really came about because of the fact that Make Love Not
17:49
Porn we saw not only even before Make Love Not Porn.
17:52
We know that sex education is something that is highly needed
17:55
in this country. Oh gosh, I know.
17:57
This is like a whole can of worms.
17:59
Exactly. It's highly needed even for the
18:01
safety of people. Like I could get on the soapbox
18:04
right now of why it's so important and the negative
18:06
effects I see from the lack of sex education in my work as a
18:10
coach, even I'm like, wow, education and open conversation
18:13
about this during your teenage years would have solved so many
18:16
things, kept people safe. So it's really education.
18:20
I know not stand on the soapbox. Just yes, I'm really excited to
18:23
hear that you're adding that in. Yeah, it was.
18:26
We saw that it was needed just in general.
18:28
But Make Love Not Porn became a space where people were learning
18:33
from one another. We are learning.
18:35
I'm learning from Make Love, not porn, and that's part of the
18:37
reason I watch it. I'm getting something out of
18:39
every. Single video.
18:40
Yeah. And it's awesome.
18:41
It's whether you were watching a video just because you're like,
18:44
hey, I watch this video for entertainment or to masturbate,
18:46
you end up learning something new.
18:48
Yeah. And we realized, hey, this is a
18:50
market that it's untapped and also now in this political
18:55
climate is unfortunately being just erased.
18:58
And we were like, you know what, we need a space where where
19:00
folks of all ages, all genders, all identities are able to
19:04
research and find information on sexual health and Wellness
19:07
stuff. And so that's how the Academy
19:09
came about because one, there was a need just in general, but
19:12
also Make Love not porn became a space where people were coming
19:15
to find information because it's real world sex and it's like
19:18
real world bodies. And it's people are like, I want
19:21
my child to see what this is not like porn, yes.
19:25
Or I'm a person who has maybe like erectile dysfunction or
19:29
I've had issues with different things and I want to learn how
19:33
to do this in sex. And they're like, how do I do
19:35
that? And they were coming to Make
19:36
Love not porn. And so we were like, you know
19:38
what? I think Make Love Not Porn
19:39
Academy to exist, and it does. It's soon to be this year we're
19:44
hoping to launch. OK, and I think you know this.
19:46
I'm extremely passionate about educating about cake and safe
19:49
cake. Is there room for kingsters on
19:52
it? Absolutely.
19:53
OK, how would I become an educator?
19:55
Is it like wait to be called or can you apply?
19:58
We're actually still recruiting folks for not only makeup, not
20:01
porn. So if you want to be a makeup
20:03
not porn star and have your real world sex videos on makeup not
20:06
porn, you absolutely can do that.
20:08
We're recruiting people all the time, anytime.
20:10
There's never gonna be enough. OK, so please do that.
20:14
And then if you would like to be on Make Love Not Porn Academy,
20:18
whether that's just showcasing your work or content, or even if
20:22
you just want it to be a place like a directory where folks can
20:25
find you for whatever your services might be, you can
20:27
e-mail me or reach out to us on the website and we will set up
20:31
some time to speak to you and see if it's a good fit, if
20:33
you're interested, of course. I'm gonna put all of this in the
20:36
show notes because I'm not gonna make people type in their phone.
20:38
Yeah, it's. Like there's so many, the e-mail
20:40
is very long. We space for everyone on the
20:43
Academy. Our main focus right now, of
20:44
course, is under 18 sex education But Make Love Not Porn
20:48
Academy exists to educate folks from zero to 100.
20:51
That is our goal. I don't know if you saw in the
20:53
New York Times a few months ago, an article came out about young
20:57
teenagers who are watching porn and then choking their
20:59
girlfriends with zero idea of how to do is.
21:01
People are getting hurt. Children are getting hurt
21:03
because they're not getting any information.
21:05
They're seeing something the no education exists for their age
21:09
group and then they don't know what to do with that except to
21:11
try it. Absolutely.
21:13
But there was really negative effects because when we're
21:15
talking about breath plate, which is something people don't
21:16
even want to teach on the Internet because it it's very
21:19
delicate, there's so few places to go.
21:21
Yeah. And I think that's actually that
21:23
conversation in itself is very nuanced because one, there's
21:27
already shame around speaking about sex and sex education in
21:30
general. But then when you add the
21:32
elements of, yeah, there's like also kink and consent.
21:35
And that's actually really a conversation that's based in
21:38
consent, which. Yes.
21:40
We're not speaking about that enough.
21:42
And I think a lot of times two people associate consent
21:45
education strictly with sex when I'm like, no.
21:48
So I've had many hats in my life, but I used to be a
21:51
preschool teacher at one point. I've had conversations about
21:54
consent with my three and four year old students.
21:56
It's these conversations can be age appropriate.
22:00
Yeah, for sure. All right, Kingster, let's talk
22:04
about pleasure. Not just mine, Yours too.
22:07
If you're enjoying this episode of The King Consultant, I need
22:10
you to do me a little favor and I promise it'll feel oh so good.
22:15
Take a second and give this podcast a five star rating.
22:18
Just imagine your finger sliding all over that 5th star, pressing
22:22
down, giving it exactly the kind of attention it deserves.
22:26
Yeah, that's it. And you know what happens when
22:29
you do. I get all hot and bothered
22:31
knowing you're out there showing your appreciation.
22:34
Plus, every time you leave a review, a naughty little brat
22:37
somewhere gets that spanking they've been begging for.
22:40
So be a good listener and tap that star, won't you?
22:44
Thanks, love. Now let's get back to the fun.
22:50
Yeah. The thing about that one is I
22:52
don't have kids, but I do feel bad for kids who are forced to,
22:55
like, give grandma a hug, do this or that because it makes
22:57
you feel like, oh, I let me just swallow what I'm feeling right
23:01
now to make somebody else happy. And I date, I did that in my
23:04
dating life too. It's oh, I don't want to first
23:06
kiss, I don't want to kiss this guy.
23:07
But he did just get me dinner. So should I took cycle?
23:10
It's a toxic cycle, I know. And it's when do you start to
23:13
unlearn that? Yeah, it's I'm glad you had
23:16
mentioned that because I have a baby and she's gonna be 1.
23:20
But I literally was saying this same thing.
23:24
I'm teaching her very early on that she and she is very firm in
23:28
her boundaries already. She doesn't like something.
23:31
No, that's it. If someone wants to pick her up
23:34
or she tries to pick her up and she's already, I don't wanna be
23:36
here. I'm like, okay, we're coming
23:38
back. I'm not gonna try to make this
23:39
person to hold you. Like I want for her to know that
23:42
she's allowed to not want to do things and can say no and feel
23:45
comfortable. Because I think, especially with
23:47
kids, we don't give kids the credit they deserve.
23:52
They are way smarter than we give kids credit for and way
23:56
more aware that we give them credit for.
23:58
They're just. Smaller humans.
24:00
Exactly. I always say that that is like
24:02
my go to phrase whenever people talk about kids.
24:04
I'm like kids are just small humans.
24:06
They are fully capable of having these conversations as long as
24:09
they're age appropriate and I understand.
24:11
It because they're having feelings.
24:13
Yes, I'm big about feelings and they're valid.
24:15
Absolutely. Yeah.
24:17
We should never leave kids out of the conversation.
24:19
And I think that's why The Academy Is really an important
24:21
because it's going to have a vast amount of topics from
24:26
abortion resources to consent to kink, to anatomy, to every
24:32
everything will be on there. And I think especially with
24:35
children, that's always such a touchy subject because it's do I
24:38
want my child to know these things?
24:39
Do I want them to know this or not?
24:41
And at the end of the day, we're like, even if you don't feel
24:44
like it, it shouldn't happen. We want the information to at
24:46
least be there so that there's something for them to refer to
24:50
instead of searching for porn or just searching the endless space
24:54
that is Google. It's also about fostering that
24:57
curiosity in people to learn more, especially younger people.
25:00
There's such ease of access to porn, and I'm 100% for that.
25:04
So you have a ton of different education plans for the site,
25:07
for Academy in general. It's going to go in a lot of
25:09
different directions. You're always open to receiving
25:12
people to apply, to be at the Academy, but also Make Love, not
25:15
porn stars. Yeah, how many new stars are
25:18
submitting every day? I would say on average we're at
25:21
least getting five to six new make on up porn stars every
25:25
week. OK, just because we get a lot of
25:28
videos you. Do get a lot of videos.
25:30
There are thousands and thousands of videos on the.
25:32
Over 4500 if I'm not mistaken, there's.
25:35
A lot of real sex happening. Yeah.
25:37
People are recording it and putting it up there and explain
25:40
to us what we're about to watch and what it is.
25:42
I love it. Yeah, we get a ton of videos.
25:44
I think we have our own predictions and like trends that
25:48
we see where obviously it's like during the summer, like people
25:50
are out more, they're having more sex or in the winter time,
25:53
I don't know, this might rub some people the wrong way, but
25:55
if you're like an astrology girly or whatever, we also are
25:58
like during certain times of like lunar cycles and different
26:01
things like retrograde or different things like that.
26:03
We're like, oh, these people are having more sex.
26:05
If you look at our like year in review, we also have which sign
26:10
is like having the most sex. I'll Make Love, not porn and
26:12
stuff like that. Yeah.
26:13
I'm guessing in Scorpios. Because there it was actually
26:15
Taurus this last year. I cannot believe that.
26:19
Yeah, it was Taurus this last year.
26:21
What's your star sign? I'm an Aries, Yeah, let's see,
26:24
last year and this year, OK, Yeah.
26:26
So we did our 2024 wrapped. So we don't do age range, right
26:31
like in our thing we do generations.
26:33
So millennials submitted the most videos last year at 67%,
26:38
with Gen. Z being right underneath that at
26:41
27%. OK, our most popular tag
26:43
actually was passionate. Oh yeah.
26:47
Other popular tags were more the merrier which is like our
26:50
threesome and more some tag blowjob loving intimate yes,
26:55
which is like our orgasms tag and backdoor which is our anal
26:59
tag. All of these make sense.
27:01
I'm like, not surprised by any of them.
27:02
But passion? So I haven't gone specifically
27:05
looking for passion and now I want to.
27:06
Yeah, it's a surprise every time.
27:09
I feel like you'll you'll never know.
27:11
We were the most popular in the US and the most popular state
27:15
was Vermont, surprisingly. And the most popular city was
27:19
London last year. Wow.
27:22
Vermont is so out there, but I guess with the ethos and the
27:26
mission, yeah, go Vermont. The countries that shared the
27:29
most videos were the US Navy number one OK Canada being #2
27:33
and the Dominican Republic being #3 for most.
27:36
Shares, yes, OK. So then.
27:38
We have a lot of Dominican Make Love, not porn stars.
27:41
Oh, a time. Yeah.
27:43
OK. They're definitely.
27:44
Yeah, a huge demographic for sure.
27:47
Good to know. And then let's see.
27:50
Yes, our sign that shared the most videos was Taurus.
27:54
OK, shared the most, yes. OK, shared the most videos was
27:57
Taurus. So Tauruses were having lots of
28:00
sex last year? Yes, followed by Scorpio.
28:02
You're right. Oh.
28:03
Yes there we go yes and I think it's honestly just now that I
28:06
understand it was shared you. I would expect someone who'd be
28:09
on top of their game like a Taurus is going to be like this
28:12
is helpful information for someone I am going to pass so
28:15
long they're very practical about it where the Scorpio I
28:18
feel is going to lead with I just had great sex.
28:20
Let me show somebody what I had great sex absolutely or like
28:23
what I just masturbating. It was amazing.
28:25
Let me show them what I looked at.
28:27
Yes. And then Leo and Gemini's were
28:29
after that. Do you ever get those like
28:30
sextrology book? I have that I've.
28:33
Never seen one of those. Oh that's cool.
28:34
Wait, I want that. So I feel like, OK, I have that,
28:37
but now I want it through the Make Love not porn lens.
28:39
I want everything through the Make Love not porn lens.
28:42
You gave me a really great idea. Good astrology and sex because I
28:46
care so much about sex. I want everyone having great
28:48
sex. I want them enjoying and finding
28:51
the sex that they want and I feel like Make Love not porn
28:53
shows people also that what they want exists out there.
28:55
That's what makes them report once we want to all to have
28:58
great sex and we want you to watch great sex and we want you
29:00
to discover new things about yourself and learn things and
29:04
all through the lens of people sharing real world.
29:07
Yes, I love it. So makelovenotporn.com or
29:11
mlnp.tv, those are the two ways to access the site and I really
29:16
feel it. If you watch enough videos,
29:18
going to warn you right now you're going to think I could do
29:20
this. Absolutely.
29:22
And that's actually how a lot of people come to us, yes.
29:26
Wait, I watched it. I feel like now I feel more
29:28
confident in knowing other people's sex looks like my sex.
29:31
Yeah, absolutely. That's what we want.
29:33
We want you to see yourself in these faces.
29:36
We want you to, like I said, discover things about yourself
29:38
because you're finding something new.
29:40
And of course find community because a lot of people end up
29:43
being like, Oh my gosh, I didn't know anybody else was into this.
29:45
Like I was or I don't know any other but like person did this
29:48
thing or was into this kink or had that toy.
29:51
We get people who asked about things in your videos also all
29:53
the time, which is amazing. But that's so community like
29:57
oriented and we love that. The community is what is making
29:59
up for that lack of sex education that we had because we
30:02
do have a group of people. We were even talking about this
30:03
before recording. It's finding community that you
30:05
trust and you can take their word for things is everything.
30:08
And absolutely, I've talked about this on multiple podcast
30:11
episodes, But when I moved to Vegas, just like less than two
30:13
years ago, I've never had such a large percentage of my friend
30:16
Group B in the kink community. But I made all my friends
30:19
through the community here and it provided a way for me to make
30:22
friends in a new city. And I just have a bunch of
30:24
people who get me. It's a special feeling.
30:26
And I see that in the Make Love non porn video comments.
30:30
People who like know the couples, they're excited to see
30:33
their video. It feels again like a community
30:35
where we're sharing everything sex lives, but also like the
30:38
back story, which I cannot tell you enough how enjoyable it is.
30:41
You have to check it out. Check it out once a couple of
30:44
videos you're gonna find your couple.
30:46
That's what happened to me. I now have a couple who had
30:48
like, what are they up to? I'm curious, who are they?
30:51
I'm obsessed with tabby and monkey.
30:53
Oh my gosh, I love their little explainer video at the
30:56
beginning. They I'm obsessed with them as a
30:58
couple. Like I know it was her 30th
31:01
birthday sent me recently. She said we called, we called
31:03
the video happy 30th birthday because it was when we went on
31:05
vacation and we filmed this like I love you guys and they had
31:09
outdoor sex in a park. I'm just like, yes, you are who
31:12
I aspire to be. I.
31:13
Love it. They are very sweet I.
31:15
Also love how their sex is just here we are in our room.
31:18
It's not like perfectly tailored.
31:20
There's not it's just like real do you know what I mean?
31:22
I'm like, that's what my bedroom looks like.
31:24
That's what the couch I'm sitting on right now looks like.
31:26
That's I think it's like you see people you relate to and you're
31:28
like, oh, I understand their life and now I also understand
31:31
their sex life. Yeah, that does something.
31:33
For me, I love that. I'm so glad that you found them.
31:36
Are they a really popular couple?
31:37
Is everyone finding them? There's so many people who are
31:40
just popular in general, but we also at Make Up Porn don't
31:46
subscribe to like the competition aspect of things.
31:49
We always tell people because they're like, how do I make more
31:51
money? How do I show up more?
31:53
The more videos you submit, the more likely you are to be
31:55
watched just because they shows up obviously in our different
31:58
categories on the main page. And then also, while we do have
32:01
a three video limit for Make Love, not porn stars, just so
32:04
everybody gets a fair chance. Yeah, we have a three video a
32:08
week limit per Make Love that's. Really.
32:10
Fair, yeah. But other than that you can you
32:12
can submit as many videos as you want and.
32:15
So every month you could be submitting 12 videos.
32:17
I would guess that they're uploading maybe more because
32:20
I've seen a lot of their videos. Yeah, they do have a lot.
32:22
They do have a lot of videos. I feel like we have a lot of
32:25
like prolific makeup about porn stars that just have a ton of
32:28
videos because they're like super enthusiastic.
32:30
And then we also have a lot of make up porn stars who have
32:33
maybe one video they submitted one year and then they came back
32:36
and submitted a couple more and then they just just they left
32:39
and forgot it and that's it. And that's OK too.
32:41
If you maybe are like, hey, I just want to dip my toe in there
32:44
and you submit one video and that's it.
32:46
We're totally OK with that. You are not obligated to share
32:49
anything more than you're. Comfortable with.
32:51
I love that because for some people it also might be like a
32:53
bucket list item to get that to like, really put themselves out
32:56
there and be like, I did it that one time and it felt really
32:59
great. And that was my capacity, yeah.
33:01
And something that I also really appreciate that we do at Michael
33:04
Not Porn, is that we have different settings on our
33:07
website where you can basically have your own level of privacy.
33:12
So if you only want people on the website to see certain
33:15
things, we have a setting for that.
33:17
If you only want people that are subscribed and paying for
33:21
something to see, that's also an option.
33:24
And then we also have a setting where if someone were to just go
33:27
onto the website and we're browsing, they could see your
33:30
video or they could see. Your.
33:33
Profile but of course obviously they would have to subscribe and
33:36
pay to see the video so it's. Like a lot of different comfort
33:40
levels, yeah, that you guys are really accommodating for.
33:42
One of the main things that we say for Make Love Not Porn Stars
33:45
is that we want you to do whatever is comfortable for you
33:48
and your safety is our number one priority and privacy.
33:51
That's a differentiator, yeah. Safety and privacy being your
33:54
number one priority for your Make Love, not porn stars.
33:58
That's different because I've talked to a lot of porn stars
34:00
and when I work in this job that I work in, I end up talking to a
34:03
lot of people who have been taken advantage of or just not
34:05
had the best experience, have had their videos used in ways
34:09
that they didn't want them used. Safety is a huge concern for me
34:12
if I were to submit, which the more I watch, the more I'm like,
34:16
yeah, maybe I should submission. I know I'm thinking about it now
34:19
because I know it does have a community feel to it.
34:22
And you're like, yeah, I want to be part of this community of
34:25
people sharing real sex. Yeah, it's really awesome.
34:28
And it's if you feel like you want to submit a video where
34:31
you're like, I don't want anybody to know what I look
34:32
like. You can be wearing a mask.
34:35
You can film from the neck down. Absolutely.
34:38
OK, I've noticed that, too. Yeah, There's so many options.
34:41
I hope everyone has had a moment in their life where they're
34:43
like, people need to see this. This was so good.
34:46
Equally, to witness this and then Make Love not porn, is
34:49
giving us that opportunity. Yeah, I think that if anyone is
34:53
having like back and forth thoughts, do I want to share a
34:56
video online, One of the things that we recommend is just for
35:00
yourself. Record yourself having sex,
35:02
record yourself masturbating just for yourself.
35:05
If you're ever feeling that itch and you're like, you know what,
35:07
today's the day, go ahead and submit it.
35:09
But if at the very least you don't get to that part, that's
35:12
OK too. But just record yourself having
35:14
sex. You're.
35:15
Masturbating. They are so right.
35:16
I cannot recommend that advice enough.
35:19
Just record yourself and it can be by yourself.
35:22
No one else ever has to know that you have a recording of
35:24
yourself masturbating. It's worth watching.
35:27
Absolutely. I say from experience, like you
35:29
get to see things. Everyone immediately goes to
35:31
fearful things of what they don't want to see, but there are
35:33
things you don't even realize you're going to be excited to
35:35
see. Go for it.
35:37
OK, when you're watching this content, are you in this mindset
35:40
of I'm at work so I'm just watching it from an analytical,
35:44
technical perspective or there are times where you get excited
35:46
by it too? And it's actually really funny
35:48
because my husband and I just talked about this.
35:51
It's like, very, it's a sterile process for me at this point.
35:54
Yeah. Also maybe because I just feel I
35:56
wouldn't say desensitized to it because there are definitely
35:59
things that shocked me and I have been shocked and surprised
36:02
by certain videos. I was like, oh, I wasn't
36:03
anticipating that. No, this was coming up.
36:06
But I being a sex educator, a former sex worker and like
36:11
someone who just is like very open and like out there about
36:15
sex. It's very just, if this is work,
36:18
it's so like that. And then also, I think maybe
36:21
because I like have this like relationship with a lot of the
36:24
people on Make Love Not Porn. I don't see it in that way.
36:28
Yeah, not that. I couldn't be turned on by it,
36:29
no. But it makes sense you're also
36:31
viewing it. You have a job to do.
36:33
You need to make sure oh this is the right thing for the site.
36:36
You're as a normal viewer, someone is just, oh, they look
36:40
really good and whatever. Not saying that I'm not like,
36:42
oh, there's sometimes I'm like, wow, that lingerie looks really
36:44
pretty or Oh my gosh, I've had that sex toy before.
36:47
But I have to look for other things as their personal
36:49
information in the shot is a person who maybe wanted to be
36:52
like a little bit private. Maybe they have blurring over
36:55
their face. Is it fully covering them in
36:56
every shot like my? God, I'm looking at.
36:58
Those things. Mental load of that definitely
37:01
would take away, like there would be no energy here.
37:04
It would all be here. Like am I protecting people?
37:06
There's a responsibility. Yeah, I'm like, are your kids in
37:09
the picture? Do they want that?
37:11
Now, some people are like, oh, I don't mind whatever that
37:12
information is out there, but just making sure that these
37:15
things that someone might not normally see is see.
37:17
I know because it makes real sense because even in the Vegas,
37:21
when people throw parties at their house, sometimes they
37:22
might remove all personal identification things, and I
37:26
could see how that would so easily end up in a video.
37:28
Yeah, if you're not thinking about it.
37:29
Yeah. Sanaya, thank you so much for
37:31
being here today. I've had a ton of fun.
37:33
I want this conversation to continue.
37:35
I'm already now a regular user of Make Love Not Porn.
37:38
So I can go to the website. I can go to mlnp.tv.
37:41
What is your Instagram handle? Yeah, so you can follow us on
37:44
Instagram at Make Love Not Porn. You guys were able to get that
37:48
handle? We were.
37:49
Wow, and you're not flagged? We've definitely had our fair
37:52
share of flagging. Our account even got taken down
37:55
at one point and we got it back up.
37:57
Good for you. It's so difficult with that.
38:00
Yeah, it's really bad I. Love that, that makes it easy.
38:02
Instagrams Make Love, not porn. Yes.
38:04
Okay, we're also Make Love, not porn on YouTube.
38:07
Okay, Make Love not porn one the number one on YouTube, important
38:11
distinctions. Yeah, on there you can see are
38:13
more suitable for work stuff. There's some like really
38:16
personal, like behind the scenes stuff with Make Love not Porn
38:18
stars. There's some curator videos,
38:21
some things from Cindy Gallup, our CEO and founder of Make Love
38:25
Not Porn. And then you can also find us on
38:28
X or Twitter and then tick tock. But on TikTok we are Make Love,
38:33
not porn because we had to. That's actually that's spot on
38:37
Branding though. Well done.
38:39
They look not porn because that's exactly if you ask me to
38:42
guess what you were on TikTok. I would have said Make Love, not
38:44
corn. Yes, yeah, that's we had to.
38:48
On there. I love it.
38:49
Yeah, definitely check them out. And then I just want to give a
38:51
final plug for the website makelovenotporn.com because even
38:54
if this doesn't sound like it's for you, I want you to go check
38:57
out, I think Cindy's Ted talk or she is posted on there.
39:01
But also the origins of the site, what the site used to look
39:04
like is there. And just the difference is
39:06
between porn and what Make Love Not Porn is doing is listed.
39:09
And I think it's super important for us to all to really pay
39:11
attention to what the difference is in porn versus what real life
39:15
sex is. So it's an educational thing
39:17
that is 100% worth checking out, even if porn is not your thing.
39:21
Go to the site. Yeah, and that's our tagline.
39:24
We are pro sex, pro porn, pro knowing the difference.
39:28
We're all, we're all for it. And that's the thing, know the
39:31
difference. Ah, love it.
39:33
Thank you so much for coming down to my room to record it.
39:38
I very much appreciate it. I've had so much fun and yeah, I
39:41
think that this is going to be a great episode.
39:44
Thank you. No.
39:44
Thank you so much for having me. It's been great.
39:46
This is a very natural conversation.
39:48
Yeah, I love that the passion was there.
39:51
Yes, I do love what I do. I'm very lucky to get to have
39:54
this job. I know a lot of people are like
39:55
you. Watch next video.
39:56
It's crazy. And I'm like, yeah, it's, it's
39:58
fun. And also it's something I'm
40:00
passionate about as a sex educator and just someone who is
40:04
just works to liberate people to be able to just unlearn the
40:08
shame of being open and sexually free.
40:12
I know because it is. It's a liberation once you
40:14
realize that everybody is beautiful, including your own,
40:18
and then it should be celebrated.
40:20
That's a liberation in itself. And I think Big Love Not Porn
40:22
helps people get there too. Love yourself, love your body.
40:27
I know if I could give one person at that time, I could
40:29
give everyone one gift. It would be love yourself.
40:32
Yes. If you enjoyed this episode,
40:35
don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with
40:38
anyone who might find it interesting.
40:40
And if you have any questions or topics you'd like me to cover in
40:42
future episodes, feel free to reach out e-mail
40:45
info@thekingconsultant.com. Until next time, keep on kinking
40:50
on.