Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / You said WHAT?!?! PROJECTIONS - Why people project and the comments that shocked us 😳😤🤯🤬😳

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You said WHAT?!?! PROJECTIONS - Why people project and the comments that shocked us 😳😤🤯🤬😳 · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apogee Production.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the She Rises Podcast.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm Ashley and I'm Tiana.
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  Speaker 3: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: We'd help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Hello, everybody, Welcome back to She Rises. So excited to
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: be here. Today's a very interesting episode and we've got
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: a bit of a different take on it.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: We're going to talk.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: About what it is, and then we're going to actually
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: break down things that have been said to us, which
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: is going to be cool.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: Get your popcorn.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Get your popcorn.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: It's all about projections, Yes, essentially what people have projected
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: on to us in the past, which have been really interesting. Now,
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: some of you might be able to resonate with a
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: few of these projections and maybe have felt this in
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: the past from people around you who maybe have done
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: this to you. Yeah, so let's break it down. What
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: is a projection? In simple terms, this is my belief,
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: at least in my opinion, a projection is essentially something
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: that you are thinking, feeling, or a belief that you
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: have that you are projecting onto someone else as if
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  Speaker 3: it's their own. Now, just for a quick example, the
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: easiest one to be able to understand is projecting what
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: somebody else is thinking. So let's say, for example, you
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: meet somebody in the gym and you're having a conversation
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  Speaker 3: and automatically your mind goes, oh, oh my god, are
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: they thinking about what my hair looks like right now?
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  Speaker 3: That is a projection of what you are thinking about yourself.
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  Speaker 2: Oh yes, So.
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  Speaker 3: We automatically put out what we're thinking, our thoughts, our feelings,
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  Speaker 3: our beliefs about ourselves onto the other person as if
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  Speaker 3: it's their own, and then we freak out as if
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  Speaker 3: it's true. Yeah, because in the moment it feels so
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: very true that we take it for truth, and then
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: we automatically get to push that person away.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Wow.
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  Speaker 1: It's very interesting in the online world too, because it's
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  Speaker 1: such an easy way for people to try and get
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: it out of their body and the spotlight off them
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: and put onto someone else. And it can be everything
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: from oh they're so disgusting and cringe, or how much
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: they're kissing what a gross looking couple. Is that actually
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: something that you're wanting? Or that person's being braddy and
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: showing off her amazing body. Hmm, that's a projection. Maybe
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: you're actually wanting to work on your body. It's almost
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: like a shiny mirror back as to what is coming
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: up for you.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: Yes, almost like maybe there's this woman that you follow
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: on Instagram and she's very sexually embodied, right, and she
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: maybe loves to dance on her social media stories, and
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: a part of you is like, why the fuck is
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: she doing that?
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  Speaker 1: Why does she feel the need to put that out
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  Speaker 1: for everyone to see. I would never do that, yes.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: That I would never do that, And like why would
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: I objectify myself? I don't need to do that. That
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: is a part within yourself that you are not giving
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: yourself permission to experience.
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  Speaker 2: Yourself so beautifully put.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Yeahha, And it's a really challenging thing. It's a really
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  Speaker 3: icky feeling. But what we get to do when it
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: comes to projections, right, because there's two things that we do, right,
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  Speaker 3: there's projections and then there's a trigger that comes after
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  Speaker 3: most people.
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  Speaker 2: What fun sounds like a good time, What.
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  Speaker 3: Happens is most people they get triggered by something and
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  Speaker 3: then they project They feel the trigger, which is, oh,
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  Speaker 3: I would never do that, and then they project it
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  Speaker 3: onto the other person and they make it about the
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  Speaker 3: other person instead of looking at where can I take
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  Speaker 3: responsibility for this myself?
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  Speaker 2: Why is it triggered me?
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  Speaker 3: Why is it triggered I feel when she does that?
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  Speaker 1: Exactly?
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  Speaker 3: Why is this coming up for me? What is this
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  Speaker 3: showing and teaching me about myself?
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 3: What we get to do is we get to acknowledge
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  Speaker 3: the trigger and put time and space between the trigger
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  Speaker 3: and the projection.
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  Speaker 2: It's a freaking skill.
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  Speaker 3: It takes time and effort, but not as hard as
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  Speaker 3: you think when you can just be willing to let
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: it all in love, because it takes a whole lot
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  Speaker 3: of level of responsibility. Doesn't because it's easy to project,
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  Speaker 3: it's easy to go I would never do that. I
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  Speaker 3: would never behave that way. Oh my god, why is
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  Speaker 3: that person fucking doing that? Instead of looking at what's
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  Speaker 3: coming up within me? Why am I thinking and feeling this?
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  Speaker 3: What about myself? Am I actually rejecting within myself? So
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: this is why today's episode it's all about that.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Even the sexual comment about a woman being on her
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  Speaker 1: Instagram page. When I was doing heels dancing. I had
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: a really cool conversation with a woman who swiped up
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  Speaker 1: and said, like, this is disgusting. You should be posting
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: this kind of dancing. This is only meant to be
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: for your husband. I would never wear that, I would
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: never do that. Why do you need to dance like that?
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  Speaker 1: So many projections in one And I remember responding to
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: her through voice and I can't remember exactly what I
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: said it, but it would have been something along the
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: lines of where along the way have you been shamed
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: for expressing your sexuality and your true sexual self? And
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: she was awesome. I was expecting a white back, but
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to test the waders and see if
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I could open her mind up and see if she
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  Speaker 1: could reflect on what came up for her in that moment,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: because it was nothing to do about the way I
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: danced or what I wore yah or my facial expression,
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  Speaker 1: all the music or anything. It was her stuff. Now
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: we had there's like a half an hour back and
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: forth conversation. She was like, well, my Mum's always said
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: if I wear something short and tight, then I'm a
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: slut and I'm drawing attention for the wrong reasons and
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  Speaker 1: I should be respectful. Just all this stuff came out
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: for her, and in the end she was like, oh
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: my gosh, I think I need a book in a
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  Speaker 1: heels class.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: I was like, yes, you do, And even if you
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: don't go.
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  Speaker 1: To all class, do it at home. Move your body
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  Speaker 1: in a more sexual quote unquote slutty way, drop and
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: spread your legs. Whatever you need to do, but explore
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: that and like, experience the shame come up, let it
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  Speaker 1: sit there, let it be there, and then love on
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: it and move through it. It was the most coolest conversation.
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  Speaker 1: I just loved how you brought that up because it
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: just resparked my memory of I get that projection when
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I post.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: My dancing videos.
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  Speaker 3: That's incredible.
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  Speaker 1: And when I first saw Misha dancing. Misha owns the
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: studio on the Gold Coast, and we first started going
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: to her when she wasn't as big as what she
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: is now, and I remember seeing her dance on socials
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  Speaker 1: and I felt something. It wasn't a negative thing, but
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I remember it was probably jealousy that I couldn't move
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  Speaker 1: like that. But I remember thinking, oh, does she really
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: need to post all of those dancing videos, there would
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: have been something there. But I caught myself very quickly
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: because I was like, I would love to be that
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  Speaker 1: confident to post those videos, and I caught it straight away,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: and then I just wanted to lean into her more.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: And I'd love getting to know Mesha and learn about
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: her confidence and what it's done for her to be
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  Speaker 1: able to move like that and express like that and
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: be into it with her partner like that.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: And I've just found it so.
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  Speaker 1: Inspiring and empowering. So now I want to leave with that.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: When I post my dancing videos, it's more like that's
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: why I post them. Yeah, I kind of hope those
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  Speaker 1: comments come in. I invite them in so that I
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: can invite that conversation.
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  Speaker 3: Oh that's beautiful.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: So today we're going to unpack a few different assumptions
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: that have come our way and our thoughts around them,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: just in case you can relate to them more in
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: cases ever thrown your way. This might give you a
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: little insight on how to look at it from a
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: different perspective.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: So let's go with one of yours. First, What has
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: someone said to you?
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: I was actually having a conversation with a client of
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: mine and we were having a conversation around physical insecurities,
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: specifically to do with like facial features. And we were
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: having this conversation, I was holding space for her. Obviously
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: I can't share anything, it's all confidential. However, what the
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  Speaker 3: projection was was that you wouldn't understand what it feels
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  Speaker 3: like to be insecure or feel insecure about the way
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  Speaker 3: that you look.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what projections do as well, quickly, it
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  Speaker 1: keeps you in victim mentality, doesn't it. It does, She's
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: a victim to her own thoughts.
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  Speaker 3: Then, yeah, you wouldn't understand what this feels like, which
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  Speaker 3: is really interesting because I was so insecure, Oh my god,
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: so insecure. I just remember being so young and just
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: feeling probably around eighteen to twenty mark, feeling so unworthy,
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  Speaker 3: so insecure, like wanted to get you know, surgeries done,
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: all the things. I mean, I've got implants, for God's sake.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: I got these when I was eighteen, right, And so
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: that's a visual representation of an insecurity that I had.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: And so it's interesting when I do get projections like
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: this of like, you would never understand what it feels
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  Speaker 3: like because of the way you look or whatever.
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  Speaker 2: Actually you understand it because you've fully been there.
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  Speaker 3: I'm actually it's the opposite. I'm like, oh my god,
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  Speaker 3: I was so deep in it, you wouldn't have any idea.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Remember feeling so insecure and unworthy within myself when I
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: would have a moment of feeling unworthiness and the feeling
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: would come up. At first, I wasn't conscious of this,
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: but I became aware of it. I would get dressed
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: up and I would put on a nice outfit. I
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: would do my makeup, do my hair, and I would
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: go to the middle of somewhere where it was so
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: fucking busy, just so that I could get validation for
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  Speaker 3: people looking at me, because I needed to seek validation
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: outside of myself because I didn't know how to give
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: it to myself, you know. And so it's just a
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: cool thing of like what you may think somebody may
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: not experience or struggle with is just a projection of
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: what you think that they're experiencing. But we're all human,
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: we all have fears, we all have insecurities, a struggle
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: with certain things that you know, what I see in
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: myself and I feel insecure about. You might not even notice, yes, right,
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: but it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. It's not
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: the first time that I've had that insecurity from a
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: client and being like you wouldn't understand, I'm like, well,
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: actually I do like more than what you think.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: So interesting, isn't it.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: I got one that said, you pretend like your kids
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: are perfect and you only post the good things about parenting.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: That was interesting.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: First of all, my kids are having a tantrum, or
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: they're disregulated, or they're emotional, or they're having a hard day.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: The last thing I would ever think about doing or
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: do is pull out my camera. I'm not going to
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: do that. That is so disrespectful. But when you hear that,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: what do you think that parent is feeling. Do you
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: think she's projecting that because she's feeling insecure about her
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: kids being bratty that day?
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: What do you think would be going through her head?
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: The first thing that comes to mind is that she's
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: triggered that your life seems like a highlight reel. Maybe
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: she's potentially lacking the good.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Stuff, the good stuff you've been using that word good Yeah.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good stuff.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe feeling I don't know.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: That's the first thing that popped into my mind, like
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: feeling like my life's put together because my kids always
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: seem well behaved. It brings up stuff for her that
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: maybe she's feeling a little bit out of control. And
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: by the way, this is us unpacking it as we go.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: There's no structure here and there's no wrong or right,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: and you might disagree, and that's totally fine. We're literally
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: unpacking this as we would if we didn't have cameras
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: and microphones in front of us. But yeah, what I
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: hear from that is similar to what I was thinking,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: is that she looks at my kids and my life
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: and it looks like it's all structured and in control.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: My kids are perfect and everything's rosy and amazing. So
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: that brings up her that my kids are out of
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: control and they're having tangents all the time, and my
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: work's a mess, my house is a mess. Why does
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: it look so easy for her? I'm going to put
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: that on her and bring her down to my level,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: and then we're going to connect on that.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: Yes, Like it's triggering for her to see that you
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: don't have the moments of yes, regulation, tantrums, all of
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: that stuff. She's like, well, why don't you have that
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: kind of al Why aren't you showing that because that's
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: the reality that maybe she's experiencing, Yes, and she.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Wants to know it's relatable alone and there. Yeah, so
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I can fully see her on that. But I need
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: to tell any mom that is listening my kids to
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: have tantrums. Oh my goodness, Tala girl, Taj he's very
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: sweet and calm. He still has his moments, but Tala,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: holy moly. She will tell me when she's not happier,
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: when she wants something. But I just will never pull
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: the camera out. It's not something I would ever disrespect
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: my kids and do. Although the other day she was
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: crying on my real did you see the smoothie time one?
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: And she was like, oh, they get smoothie. I think
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: that's the only time I've showed her crying because I
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: believe when she grows up she will laugh at that. Yes,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: But otherwise, if they're disregulated or upset or having a
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: tough day, there's no fuck on way open my camera out.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: It does not mean I don't experience the same things
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: you do. Yes, parent can feel so lonely, but at
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, we all experience the same thing.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: In our own way.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope any parent's listening me reassuring you that
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I go through what you do as well, that we're
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: not alone in this journey. And that's why, once again,
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: it's so important to bring mothers together and sister together
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: and to connect and to share and be vulnerable because
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: it helps us not feel alone.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, what's your next one?
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: The next one for me is it's easy for you
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: to be confident around other people because it comes so
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: naturally for you.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this one.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: It kind of makes me giggle a bit because I
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: just think you just don't know, like you know, the
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: projections that come through you just you never really know
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: what somebody's past has been like, her experience has been, like,
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: I'd be curious, what do you think It's easy for
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: you to be confident around other people because it comes
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: naturally for you.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: They think that you haven't had to work hard, and
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: then they're in victim that it's not fair that they
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: have to work so hard and they're still not there.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: It looks so easy for her. They're being a victim,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: which I am not judging.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I'm been a victim honestly.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: One of my biggest victim stories was that everyone else
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: has it easier than me. Yep, and I've got it
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: ten times harder. I'm a queen of victim when I
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: was younger, So no judgment here, but I think she's
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: looking at you as if you haven't had to try.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: You've just been born with this natural gift of being
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: able to speak and be confident and be beautiful. And
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: it's so hard for her that maybe she's wanting to
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: show up on camera or wanting to show up anyway
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: in her life, and she still doesn't have the courage to.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: But what we forget is we haven't seen everyone seasoned
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: in chapters to get to that point where they are
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: even meeting on camera. It looks like I'm so natural
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: on camera. Yeah, I've always wanted to be on stage.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: But you should have seen the tantrums and fights that
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Steve and I used to have when we first started
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: out business. He would push me in front of the camera.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I was like a two year old having a tantrum.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: I did not want to be seen. If I stuffed up,
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I would cry, Literally, I would cry. There's been a
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: long journey, in so much persistence and practice to get
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: to this point where I'm so comfortable with who I
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: am and I know I've got a voice to share.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: But yeah, there's a journey for someone to get to
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: where you are right now, but people don't see that,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: and that's where the projections come out, and you're always
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: feel like you're in that victim energy.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I feel for her, but it's just not
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: the case.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: I feel for her too, but I'm also like, honey,
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: if only you knew.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and we get to do this work, just like
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: whoever's listening, who wrote that in or has said that
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: to you. She gets to choose to work on it
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: and to see it from a different perspective. Now, when
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: I see some inspiring years ago, I would have made
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: a projection like that.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: It's so much easier for them now.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: My mind goes, oh, they must have done a lot
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: of work to get there. Yeah, what courses did they do?
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Who's their coach? How much practice have they had? They've
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: been a stage for three years, five years, ten years.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I'm inquiring and almost s talking what they've done and
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: how they've done it to get there. Yes, that's where
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: my mindset's at now. Yeah, so it's cool when you
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: can turn it around.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: Oh absolutely, And you know what's interesting, I was once
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: just so the opposite of confident, anything but confident, And
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: I vividly remember, just like this experience has popped into
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: my head of trying to fit in around this group
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: of people that I met in Bondi when I was
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: living in Sydney, and I was trying so hard to
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: fit in, and I just remember feeling so hard to
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: have a conversation flow, yeah, being like I had to
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: think about what I was saying, I had to try
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: to find topics to talk about, and I just was
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: so in my head that I was the person who
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: sat in the back corner and was mute.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: And it has been.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: A conscious effort for years. I'm talking like years and
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: years have I've been doing personal development. Now has it
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: taken me to be able to feel so natural when
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: I'm talking or to just yap and be comfortable that
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: I feel comfortable yapping because I'm comfortable in myself now.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: But it took really facing all those parts of myself
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: that I wasn't confident in, that I didn't love, that
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: I was rejecting within myself for me to be able
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: to go, hey, I feel comfortable owning all of who
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: I am now really sitting with the anxious part of
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: me too? You know, it takes a lot of you
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: being able to be okay with that part of you,
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: not judging it, not judging the part of you that
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: wants to be accepted or loved or valued by other
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: people so much that you're in your head while you're
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: sitting in front with.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Somebody going up, do they talk like me? Moment? What
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: am I going to say?
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: What should I say to make them like me? Like,
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: not judging that part of you so that you can
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: go okay, cool, How can I just have a how
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: can I get to know this person better?
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Well, could I learn about this.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: Person that might deepen our friendship? I want to get
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: to know this person. It just shifts from you to them.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: And then also with time and practice, like what you
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: were saying, some more connection with you doing this for
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: fifteen years on camera.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: It's the same thing.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so cool what you got for us?
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: This son's been a more recent thing, which I have
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: spoken about before on the podcast of For years, I've
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: never wanted to show anything to do with finances because
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: I wanted to stay relatable. I wanted other people to
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: not think I was bragging or rubbing in their face
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: or anything like that.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: So now I've.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Started to just show a little bit more of that,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: whether it's buying a bag that's celebrating a milestone, or
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: going on business class flights with my son or whatever
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: it might be. There's been a few projections that have
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: come in You're bragging by showing us how much I earn.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: And this one particularly came around I uploaded a photo dump.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: I upload one of the photos a screenshot of how
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: much high do I made?
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Last year? Yeah?
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: You fucking did?
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: And that was so for me because you I uploaded
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: straight away you messaged me and you're like, fuck, yes,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: this would have been hard for you.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: And I remember even saying to Steve, do you mind
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: if I upload this? And he was like, Oh, go
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: for it. You're gonna get a lot of hate for that,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: and I said, I know, I'm going to invite it
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: in because I want to practice how I respond and
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: I want to practice being okay, to be proud of myself.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: And the reason I did it was I actually saw
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: someone else do it and they're in the same industry
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: as what I am, and I saw them and I
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: was like, hell, yes, I was so excited for this
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: person that I didn't even know. I was like yes,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: And I remember seeing all these tiktogs is around Black
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Friday of small business owners setting up their phone and
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: they push launch and you hear their ding ding de
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: stopify sales and then crying and them excited.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: I got one hundred orders, I got a thousand orders.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: We smashed up Black Friday by times free from last year.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I just I get so excited people, I get so
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: happy for them, for everyone to be financially free, that
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: it's just like the goals. By doing something that you
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: love well that makes positive impact, it just makes me
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: so happy. So anyways, sorry, I.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: Can really excited about that.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: I really wanted to start showing a bit more of
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: that because I didn't want to just be relatable. I
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: wanted to show women that they too can come from
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: nothing and make something of themselves. They can come from
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: no money and earn a lot of money and live
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: a life they're really proud of and provide their kids
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: with really cool experiences and be able to buy the
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: shiny things they've never been able to buy. To celebrate something,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: or just not even to celebrate just because you fucking
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: want it.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: I want to show women that you can do that.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: So it's felt very edgy, and that projection comes out
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: a lot, and I understand it because I used to
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: think like that if I saw women uploading their come
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: with me to pray to buy a bag, Like, why
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: do you have to show that? Just go buy it?
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Can you hear that in my tone? Yeah, it's a projection.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: I'm triggered because I can't afford to go and buy
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: that bag, and now you're rubbing in my face that
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I can't afford it. It's got nothing to do with
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: her celebrating being able to buy a handbag. It's all
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: to do with my insecurities and me not feeling enough
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: and upset that I haven't got that money or I
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: haven't worked as hard as what maybe she has.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: That's the biggest one, isn't it.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: It brings it all up.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: So I understand this trigger because I've been there, But
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: like I said, I want to keep inviting it in
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: because it's a really important conversation to have. See what
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: money wounds and triggers you have.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, what you.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: Just said is so powerful and something that I resonated
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: with with that specific trigger is oh, maybe I haven't
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: worked as hard as she had. Oh, like one of
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: my old friendships, she was awesome business owner, like a
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: very successful, very impressive human being. And I remember at
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: the time I couldn't hold my jealousy and I couldn't
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: hold that projection. I would be like, oh, it's easy
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: for her. I'd had that projection. It was easy for her.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: But what I was refusing to look at within myself
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: was I'm not doing the things that she's doing to
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: get there. And it was having to really admit that
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: to myself, which was very hard to do because it
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: was so much easier for me to project onto her
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: about how much easier it was for her, and just
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: you know, maybe it was who she was as a
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: person and she was more aligned for something like that,
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: or she just had the skills that I didn't have.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: But it's not about that at all. It's about owning
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: the part of you that you don't want to sit with,
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: which is part of me specifically that wasn't working for
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: what I wanted. It was like I was saying I
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: wanted all the things, but I wasn't doing the actions,
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: at least not consistently. For me to get the results
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: that I wanted to have.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Oh so, oh so crazy.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: But it's uncomfortable things to look at, which is why
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: you can understand why we all at some point project
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: that onto the people who are doing really well.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Be There's a girl I follow, I've showed you her before,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Georgie Stevenson. She's a local Goldcoast influencer, and she was
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: the one that kind of led the way for me
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: because she was showing her buying a bag, she was
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: showing her new Tesla, and then she bought a Porsche
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: six months later, and then she's bought this beautiful, big
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: mansion on the beach, and she was proud to show
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: it all and I was so stoked for her. Fuck yeah,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: and if I felt so inspired by that and lifted
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: up by that and like, wow, that's possible. Or like
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: you know, when we see podcast hosts make x amount
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: of money or hit their tenoon downloads, I don't see
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: that as a jealousy projection anymore of it. It's easy
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: for them. I'm like, wow, that's possible. Look at what
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: they thank you for showing me that that's possible. Because
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be a victim thinking that I
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: can't achieve that because I had a hard childhood or whatever. No, no, no,
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: thank you. That's amazing and now I want to be
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: that for other women.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: That for me.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: I love that There's these two best friends who run
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: businesses together. I can't even remember their names, but I
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: remember the ones that had their cars. They pulled up
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: the Porsches, they got matching Porsches, and I was just like, oh,
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: that's the callst shit. Ever, Like I remember seeing that
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: being like, we can make a video like that, Like
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: we can do that when we, you know, get to
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: that place as well. And when I see women who
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: buy themselves like a g wagon or something, they got
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: a big bow on it, and I'm just like, you're
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: about us. You've got created that for yourself, Okay, cool.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: Like I've always believed this, maybe not pre victim mentality, yeah,
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: not pre victim mentality, but post of victim mentality. I
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: always thought you only need one person to be evidence
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: that what you want gets to be possible for you,
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: because you only need one person ahead of you to
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: proven that it can be done for you to go.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Of course I can have this if I work for it.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to take radical responsibility you do at
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: the end of the day.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so cool. It's a powerful conversation, the best.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: So the last one that I have is you wouldn't
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: understand what it feels like to have no choice?
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, oh yeah, the no choice thing. Yeah, so always
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: have choice.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: I won't share where this came from, just confidentiality and
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: all the things. However, it was just a really interesting conversation.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: There were many projections in this conversation that had around
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: a situation that she had been in in terms of
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: financials and things like that.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: I haven't related to money, and yeah.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: It was you don't understand what it's like to have
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: no choice, And I just remember having so much compassion
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: for where she was. At course, however, it just allowed
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: me to see really where on her journey she was,
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: you know, and there's nothing wrong with.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: That how she viewed the world.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, there's nothing wrong with that. But it's just the
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: projection of you not knowing what it feels like to
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: have no choice. Yeah, and it is very poor me.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: It is, like, I'll be honest, it is very poor me.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: And true, Yeah, I've been there.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: I understand what it feels like to feel like you
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: have no choice and to feel like all of your
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: options are gone and that there is actually nothing that
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: you can do. However, I have also experienced that and
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: have been in that victim mentality where I thought that
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: there was no way out. But at the end of
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: the day, it is a choice, and you will have
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: to be faced with that victim mentality of feeling so
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: victimized by your life until you decide that you're fucking
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: sick of it.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: And until side you've had enough of your own shit.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: You couldn't have said it better. You've had enough of
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: your own shit and you're going to find a way out.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and there no choice thing.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I think we have all been there where we think
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: there's no way out of the situation that we're in,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: even if it's not in that moment, You've got a
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: choice to change your perspective on it. Yes, you've got
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: a choice as to what you do the next day
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: to help get you out of that situation, out of
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: that job, out of that relationship, whatever it is. You
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: can make micro steps, Yes, that will help you get
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: out of it.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's powerful.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: And you know what, there's nothing wrong with like, you know,
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: you have a bit of a victimy, You're just like,
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: but it's what you do after you said it's some
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: micro moments. It's what you choose after you have that moment.
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: Do you choose to stay in the victim mentality or
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: do you choose to do something about it? Because you
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: will forever feel victimized by your life if you are
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: constantly projecting that no one experiences hardship and you were
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: the only person, like the universe or whatever. It is
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: like playing a sick fucking joke on you, Like this
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: bitch is going down, Like you know, if we tell
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: ourselves that that's what you're going to create and that's
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: what you're going to see and experience every single time,
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: and everyone will always be on this pedestal of it's easier,
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: it's easy for them. They would never understand when in
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: actual fact, anyone who's ever received or achieved something incredible
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: has worked phenomenally fucking hard.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: So many times where they've fallen over and picked themselves
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: back up, so many failures and lessons. No one successful
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: I know has had a smooth journey. Yeah, they've actually
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: probably lost a lot more than what you realize either
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: just haven't shared it, which is obviously fine privacy. They've
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: risked a lot and they've learnt a lot, and they've
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: chosen Instead of being like, oh that's over for me,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: or that didn't work for me, it's like, Okay, that
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: path didn't work. I'm to try again over here, and
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: I'm going to risk it and I'm going to try
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: again and I'm going to step up again. It is
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: a choice to do that.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: It's been willing to look for the options.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's exactly right. Hard to see sometimes it's curiosity. Yeah,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: we love that.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: We do.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: Really hope this episode helped you all as we unpacked them.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: And you will have people project on you all the time.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: It's a part of life. We all have to deal
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: with it. But it's cool when you can have a
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: deeper understanding as to where it's come from, because then
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: one you don't take it personally, and two you can
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: maybe help them see from a differspective as well and
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: take some responsibility to make changes in their life, which
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: is cool.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: We love the growth, We love it all.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: We love the growth, growth seekers.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: Growth seekers. I love that, you know what I love
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: about the growth seeking? Every time I overcome a challenge,
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: I've become a better version of myself.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Oh beautiful.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: And I love knowing what I'm capable of. And I've
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: proven myself so many times before and the challenges I've overcome,
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: things that I would have never thought that I would
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: have had to overcome. I've become a better person, and
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: I'm like, that's what I think this journey is about.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: It's not about the destination, it's not about the goal
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: the achievement. It's about who you become on the journey.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: And that's what I'm addicted to. I'm addicted to just
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: proving myself who I am time and time again, and
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: I just I love that fulure.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Way to live. It's so awesome, so big.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Oh thanks for joining us, guys. If you're not in
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: our Facebook forum, please go and add yourself in there.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: We chat, we continue yapping, you can throw our suggestions.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: You get access to all of our events for twenty
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: four hours before we release.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: To the public.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: So ex that is so cool. Just search sheame Rises
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: on Facebook otherwise we'll see you in the next episode.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: Bye.