Latest / Sales Leadership with Fexingo: Quota Carriers, Sales Managers, and Revenue Teams / How to Handle a Prospect Who Ghosts You
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, have you ever had a prospect who was super engaged — multiple meetings, asked great questions, even sent you a detailed RFP response — and then just... disappeared? Luna: Oh, absolutely. It's the worst. You think you're building momentum, and then radio silence for two weeks. You start wondering if you said something wrong. Lucas: Right. And the instinct is to chase — send a 'just checking in' email, then another, then maybe a call. But that often makes it worse. Today I want to talk about a specific move that works when a prospect ghosts you: the compassionate assumption. Luna: Compassionate assumption. I like that phrase. What does it look like in practice? Lucas: So, the idea came from a rep I know in medical-device sales. She had a hospital system that was evaluating her surgical kit — three demos, a pilot with two surgeons, great feedback. Then nothing for three weeks. No replies to emails, no return calls. Luna: Classic ghost. What did she do? Lucas: She sent one final email. But instead of 'Hey, just following up,' she wrote something like: 'I'm assuming you're slammed with end of quarter procedures and that this evaluation got buried. Totally understand. If it's helpful, I've attached a one-page summary of the pilot results, so you don't have to dig for it. No rush — happy to connect whenever the dust settles.' Luna: That's good. It takes the pressure off, but also gives them something useful. Lucas: Exactly. The key is the phrase 'I'm assuming.' You're naming a plausible positive reason for the silence — not accusing them of disinterest, not begging for attention. You're giving them an honorable out. And that actually makes it easier for them to come back. Luna: Because they don't have to apologize or explain themselves. They can just reply with 'Yes, exactly, let's pick this up.' Lucas: Precisely. In her case, the prospect responded within 24 hours. Said, 'You nailed it — we had three JCAHO audits and a staff shortage. Let's schedule a call for next week.' And they closed the deal two weeks later. Luna: Wow. So she turned a ghost into a closed deal just by reframing the silence as busy-ness, not rejection. Lucas: Right. And that's the compassionate assumption. You're not pretending the silence didn't happen — you're acknowledging it, but you're giving them a face-saving reason that aligns with reality most of the time. Because honestly, most buyers don't ghost because they hate you. They ghost because they're overwhelmed. Luna: I think that resonates with a lot of our listeners. And you know, if these conversations have helped you reframe a tough sales situation or saved you from burning a bridge, that's exactly why we keep making them. A couple of dollars a month is genuinely what keeps these going — buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, if you've gotten something out of them. Lucas: Yeah, it's a small thing that makes a real difference for us. Keeps the show ad-free and lets us focus on the tactics that actually work. Luna: So back to the compassionate assumption — when does it not work? Is there a case where you should just walk away? Lucas: Good question. I think there are two red flags. One: if the prospect has explicitly told you they're not interested, or they've stopped engaging after multiple attempts with this approach. Then it's time to move on. The compassionate assumption is for the limbo period, not a permanent fix. Luna: What's the second red flag? Lucas: If the silence follows a price objection or a competitive loss — where you know they chose someone else but they didn't tell you. Then the assumption might feel disingenuous. In that case, a more direct 'I'd love to know what we could have done better' is usually more respectful. Luna: That makes sense. So context matters. But for the typical 'they went dark after a good demo' scenario, the compassionate assumption is a solid play. Lucas: Yeah. And it works because it addresses the real psychological barrier. When a prospect ghosts, they often feel guilty or awkward. They know they should reply, but the longer they wait, the harder it gets. Your email gives them a ladder to climb down. Luna: A ladder. I like that. So the email structure is: acknowledge the silence, assume a positive reason, provide something of value, and give them an easy way to re-engage without pressure. Lucas: Exactly. And you want to keep it short. A paragraph max. Attach something useful — a case study, a one-pager, a calendar link. The goal is to make replying feel like the path of least resistance. Luna: What about timing? How long do you wait before sending that email? Lucas: I'd say at least one week after your last check-in. If you've already sent one or two follow-ups that got no reply, the compassionate assumption should be your last outreach before you put the deal on ice. Give it another week or two after that, and if nothing, follow up one more time with a different angle — maybe a relevant article or a mutual connection. But if that also fails, it's probably time to let it go. Luna: So you're not burning the bridge; you're just respecting their space while leaving the door open. Lucas: Exactly. And sometimes that space is exactly what they need. I've had reps tell me deals resurfaced months later because the prospect remembered the thoughtful email and felt comfortable reaching back out. Luna: That's the long game. It's not about closing in that moment; it's about preserving the relationship for when the timing is right. Lucas: Right. And that's a mindset shift many reps struggle with. We're trained to push for the close, but sometimes the best move is to step back and let the prospect come to you. Luna: I think a lot of our listeners — whether they're quota carriers or sales managers — have been conditioned to see silence as failure. But you're saying it's often just a timing issue. Lucas: Mostly, yes. Of course, there are deals that die. But if you've done a good discovery and you know there's a real need, silence is rarely a 'no.' It's more like 'not now.' The compassionate assumption lets you test that without damaging the relationship. Luna: So let's say I'm a sales manager listening to this. How do I train my team to use this? Lucas: I'd run a quick role-play. Have them write a compassionate assumption email for a deal that's gone dark. Then share it with the team and critique it together. The key is to make sure the assumption feels authentic — not manipulative. It should be something you genuinely believe might be true. Luna: And if the rep doesn't believe it? Lucas: Then they shouldn't send it. The tone will feel off. Better to be honest and say, 'I'm assuming you've been busy, but if that's not the case, I'd love to hear what's changed.' That's still better than a generic 'just checking in.' Luna: I want to go back to the medical-device rep story. Did she have any other tricks up her sleeve? Lucas: She did. She also kept a running log of what the prospect had told her about their pain points. So in that same email, she referenced a specific comment the surgeon had made about reducing OR turnover time. It showed she was paying attention, not just sending a template. Luna: Personalization. That's the difference between a thoughtful email and spam. Lucas: Exactly. The compassionate assumption works best when you can ground it in something real from your previous conversations. It proves you're not just sending a mass blast to every stalled deal. Luna: So to sum up: when a prospect ghosts, don't chase. Send one compassionate assumption email that acknowledges their silence, assumes a positive reason, adds value, and leaves the door open. If they come back, great. If not, move on without burning the bridge. Lucas: That's the playbook. And honestly, it's a small shift that can save a lot of deals and a lot of frustration. Thanks, Luna. Luna: Thanks, Lucas. Good luck out there, everyone.