Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 116. The Manager, the Wife… and the Work Christmas Party ❌😵

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116. The Manager, the Wife… and the Work Christmas Party ❌😵 · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apoja Production. Welcome to She Rises, Freaky Friday, Go.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Secrets, Horror Scandal, Mysterios Wild. Welcome back to another episode
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: of Freaky Friday. I'm Tatiana, I'm Stephanie, our alter egos
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: and we building.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they really are.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: They're well and truly here in Tiana and Ashley on Vaca.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: We have a very interesting Freaky Friday segment story for
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: you today.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: This is a challenging one. It is alright, you guys,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: ready buckle and grab your popcorn and let's get started. Okay,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: today's submission. I work in corporate and every year we
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: have this ridiculously over the top Christmas party, think open bar,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: live DJ, staff, dancing on tables, the works. Last year,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: things got extra loose after the espresso martini started flowing.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Let's just say professionalism left the building Somewhere between eleven
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: PM and some very bad decisions. I wandered into the
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: law a photocopy room looking for my purse. Instead, I
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: found my married manager hooking up with a barely legal
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: intern skirt up shirt off zero shame Jesus. He begged
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: me not to say anything, said it was a one
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: time mistake, and even offered to put in a good
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: word for my promotion if I kept quiet. Oh goodness,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I told him I was not interested in being part
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: of his damage control. Here's the twist. I got the
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: promotion anyway, and so did she. We now sit in
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: the same boardroom. His wife. She now follows me on Instagram.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Hasn't said a word, but something about her watching my
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: stories gives me the ick, Like she knows. Now every
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: meeting feels like an episode of the office meet Scandal.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: What do you girls think? Do I speak up or
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: sip my coffee and mind my own damn business? Speak up? Yeah,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: she's gonna lose a job though.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're playing with fire, and it's unfortunate because it's
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: not your battle to fight, and it's unfortunate that you
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: were in the wrong place at the wrong time. But
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: it also is a secret that you were going to
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: have to bear. And like that feeling of guilt that's
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: coming up for you, eat you up. Yeah, it's going
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: to eat you alive. You're carrying somebody else's secret. And
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I get like, not wanting to put your nose in
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: somebody else's business, but unfortunately walking into it puts you
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: into their business. And again everyone is different in this,
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: But if it were me, I would want somebody to
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: tell me if my partner were cheating at work at
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: its workplace.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Put yourself in her shoes, Yeah, for sure. You know
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: what I think I would do first? I think I
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: would go to the intern, and I would go to
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: the manager, the married manager who did this, and say, look,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I don't want to have to go to your wife. Absolutely,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: but morally and out of integrity, I just like, can't
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: keep this a secret. I'm going to give you the opportunity.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: You've got a week to say something. Otherwise I'm not
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: going to have a conversation with her. Yeah, Like, I
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: can't live with this guild. I can't imagine how you're feeling.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: You said it's a one time thing. If it's a
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: one time thing, go and talk about it.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Own it.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: This is not fair to your wife, it's not fair
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: for me, it's not fair for the intern. This has
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: made the whole work environment really uncomfortable. And I can't
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: keep going like this. Do the right thing, like step up,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: be a man, absolutely, and to the intern too. I'd
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: probably go to him first and then give him a
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: couple of days. Then I'd go the intern and say, look,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: I've requested him to go do it, he hasn't yet. Yeah,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: I'm giving you this opportunity to do the right thing,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: do the right woman to woman. Why. Yeah, I've never
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: been this situation. But say if one of your best
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: friends was cheating on their partner, would you go and
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: tell the partner? Would be loyal to your friend and
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: keep the secret. It's a tricky one, isn't it, because
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: you're going to lose your friendship. Probably. Oh, that's a
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: tough one.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't be okay with my friend doing that.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I don't think I could stand by her narrowly if
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: that's what she believes is right. If she can do
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: that to him, I'm like, where's your morals?
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: All? Where him?
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: To us? You don't value honesty, respect, consideration. You're not
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: thinking about the impact that your decision is having on
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: the people you love. Yeah, and I can't stand by
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: you and watch and support what you're doing. Absolutely.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: If it was a friend, I would be like, you're
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: telling him, like, do the right thing, and I would
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: stand by that. I don't think that I would go
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: to the person and tell the personage, but I would
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: encourage her to do it. And do the right thing
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: by herself as well, you know, by herself, by the
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: other person.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, to show up.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: In that moment and like actually own and take accountability
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: for the mistake that she had made or the choice
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: that she had made, and own it. Because when you
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: own your consequences, you give yourself permission to grow from
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: that experience. And if it was somebody that was in
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: my life that I cared for, you fucking bet your
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: ass that I would be holding her to a higher standard.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Me too, And like, there's no way if you're scared
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: and uncomfortable to have that conversation, admit you're wrong. Well, yeah,
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: you should have thought about that before you did what
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: you did. Yeah, this is the consequence. You've made your bed.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: You've got to lie in it now, Like, this is
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: what happens. This is why you don't do that stuff.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: You have hard a conversation. You see where the cracks
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: are in your relationships, and you bring it forward, not
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: lean out and look for things outside of your relationship. Yeah,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: and you know I've had a or don't drink if
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: like the alcohol is a problem. Yeah, control yourself when
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: you're drinking. That's a choice to make. So drinking. Absolutely.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is a tough one and I get the
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: discomfort getting fiery. Yeah, and also because your job's on
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: the line, Like we get that. It also there's risk
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: in it too, But the fact that you've got a promotion,
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: because it's kind of like hush money and trying to
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: keep you not feel good that there's no way, there's
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: no way that would feel good, would feel like you
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: almost haven't earned it either.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I don't think that i'd want to know
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: that I've earned my place, you know, but to know
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: that it's to keep quiet, and you're also faced with
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: it every day. Every day you're like you is on
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: You're holding that secret.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Every single day, you're holding the burden of their betrayal.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: And that's something that like eats a way to a person,
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: whether you did the act or not.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: And now that the wife's watching her stories, I know
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: one if she's got an intuition that something's up and
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: she's trying to figure out which girl it was, maybe
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: she thinks it's you.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: And she probably does know women are pretty spidy. Senses
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: are very strong.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I definitely would be going to straight to the manager.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I think that's a beautiful way to do it online
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: and then also going to the intern and then saying like,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: this is done in two weeks, I'm going to go forward. Yeah,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I think that's a goodiety to approach it. I can't
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: hold this. I don't want to hold this doesn't feel
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: right for me. I feel for your wife. This is
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: something that she deserves to know. If I was in
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: this position, I damn straight I would die if someone
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: was like keeping that secret from me. Everyone else knew
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: about me. Yeah, it's like when my mom went through
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: her effect with her ex husband, which was my stepdad.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: She's like, I felt like an idiot. I felt humiliated.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Everyone else knew except for me. That's so tough. That
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: was so embarrassing. She's like, I wish someone even just
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: slid anonymous letter on my windshield wipers, anonymous email just
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: to let me know the details and enough that it
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: was like legit. Just like I wish someone was brave
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: enough to tell me and I didn't waste all that time. Yeah,
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: so I just would put myself in her shoes and think, well,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: how would I want to be treated in this situation,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: and like girl code, Yeah, be a girl's girl, own't it? Yeah,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: all right out. I know.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Never I told you about the time where I had
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: two best friends come to me. One of my old
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: best friends when I was really young, she had slept
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: with a man who had a girlfriend, but the girlfriend
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: was best friends with one of my other best friends,
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: and she put me in a really fucking shit position
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: because she told me about it.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: What did you do?
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: I told my best friend. I told my other friend. Yeah,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: and it was hard and I still don't know if
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: I did the right thing in the moment, but because
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: I obviously betrayed one friend's trust to tell another.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Oh man, that's so.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: But the other best friend came to me. It was like, Tiana,
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: if you know something and you know that he cheated,
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: please tell me.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Could not?
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: I told her I had to because she was like, listen,
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: this is going to be the deciding factor whether she
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: stays with him or not, and he's not good for
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: her if this happened, please tell me so she can
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: let go. And I was like, babe, like I'm so sorry,
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: but it happened. And then I had just had to
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: let my girlfriend know. I'm like, listen, I'm so sorry
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: that I did this, but I love you, but you
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: did the wrong thing and you have to own your
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: mistake now, and like it created discomfort in the relationship
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: for a little while, but at the end of the day,
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: she respected why I did what I did. She also
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: put herself in my shoes and was like, if it
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: was my other best friend, I would have told her
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: to you know, definitely. So, Yeah, it was a sticky situation.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Is sticky situations. We've even had a girlfriend recently come
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: to us. It was over a year ago, but she
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: went out on like a couple of drinks at a
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: casino and someone she knew slept with a man at
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: the casino, and then our friend found out that he
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: had a partner and kids. And then he goes to
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: one of the gyms we go to. Yeah, and when
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: he walked in last day and she was like, that's him,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I had a full body response. It was like,
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: you're poor wife. I don't know him from a bar side,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: but I don't know hers, and it's just not my
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: place to insert, but I just felt sick. Yeah, I
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: was like, your wife just has no idea that happened
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: last year, and probably it's not the first time or
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: the last time. If he's gotten away with. It just
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: makes you feel sick.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: I just couldn't imagine. I wouldn't be able to live with.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Myself knowing that other people knew that I had done
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: something of that caliber.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I don't think you could live with yourself even doing
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: something like that.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, regardless, that dud, but it just would like eat
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: me alive.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I don't know. This is just one
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: of those things.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Just think about your actions before you do them so
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: you don't have to deal with the consequences later.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Think about the impact it has on the people you
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: supposedly love and care for. This is going to have
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: huge impact on their life forever. Yeah, you're going to
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: create trust issues, You're going to create corracts new relationship.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: You may lose them, you may lose your family, everything
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: you've worked off. What just for a couple of minutes
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: of pleasure. Yeah, no thanks, yeah, yeah, oh way.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And at the end of the day, with this situation,
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: in scenario, whilst you're not involved in the deceit of
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: this situation, the portrayal that has happened, you get to
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: choose who you show up as in the world. Yeah,
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: So whether that be you going to them like what
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: actually said and being like hey, like you've got to
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: do the right thing or I'm going to Yeah, you
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: get to choose how you behave in that you also
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: get to set the standard of what you'll allow in
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: your life moving forward, because I think, truly, I personally
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: believe like what everyone doesn't say no to is an
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: accomplice of some kind, you know, is allowing is enabling
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: that behavior. And actually I was dating somebody not that
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: long ago, and he obviously has a business. Yes, we
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: were going to go on a date and he asked
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: me to go on a date with Oh.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: My god, I just remember the story. Fuck.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, So he asked me to go to dinner with
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: one of his sales guys. Yes, but the sales guys
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: was seeing somebody new. And then I later found out
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: like I hadn't said yes, but he had told me
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: that the sales guy was actually dating a woman who
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: was still married. She was having an affair with him
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: because she was quotations unhappy in her marriage. And he
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: asked to go on a double date with them, and
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: I said to him, no, like I'm not going with you.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: I stand for that.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: No, I can't stand for that. I don't support that.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to enable that. She's married. She's telling
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: him that she's unhappy, but she's being disloyal to her partner.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm sorry, I can't get behind that behavior.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: There's no fucking way.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: You don't want to be like hanging out and connecting
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: with someone that's doing that.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: And he was taken back because of my beliefs on
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: that and how strong I was in that when he had,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: for the last seven months been enabling this guy openly
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: having conversations about being with a married woman and openly
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: having an affair.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: That's not right. She has four.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Kids too, Yeah, four, there's no way. Yeah. I was
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: so like gobsmacked that he even asked me to put
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: myself in that situation.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: But anyway, that's my story. With cheating and everything, I
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: can see how relationships break down, and I can see
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: why some people cheat. Yeah, I don't condone it. I
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: don't think it's the right way to do things, but
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: I also can see how it happens, so don't fully
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: judge it either. For sure, it's not something I think
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: ever entertain or want to do. I'd rather have hard
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: conversations or rather end a marriage before I did that,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: because I just don't think I could live with myself
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: doing that knowing I've hurt my partner like that. We've
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: had another freaky frider come in where she did cheat
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: and she felt so much remorse and regret and all
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: the things, and you could see how it led to that. Yes,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: so I don't ever want anyone thinking listening to this
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: that we're just judging and putting cheats all into a box.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: I can see how happened. Sometimes people have human needs
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: and not getting met. They might be abused in their
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: relationship or not heard and loved and cared for on
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: the person's controlling them, and they feel stuck and they
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: don't know how to get out, and then this person
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: comes along makes them feel so safe and yeah, you know,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: looked at a different.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Way, finally sees them and hears them, or pays attention
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: to them or listens to them when they're watching that.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: For sure, people make mistakes, Yeah, Okams, like consistent mistakes
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: is a choice, it is, right, So that's a whole
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: different kettle of fish, it is. That's also you know,
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: we come on these episodes because we're Stephanie and Tatiana
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: and This is the very spicy, very honest and direct
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: opinions that we would give each other, you know, but
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: it's important to know that too. It's not from a
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: place of judgment. It's just from a place of who
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: do you want to be and who you're choosing to
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: be in the world, and you get to decide who
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: that version of you is ultimately going to be, and
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: it comes from these really hard decisions.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: And if anyone is judging me, like, oh my god,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: they're so judging, I just want you to take a
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: big breath to start with, because I understand these conversations
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: can be triggering and ruffle feathers. Anyone's opinionated with what
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: is wrong or right. Just put yourself in their shoes,
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: or think of it as if it's your daughter and
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: she's in this situation, or your best friend or your mum.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: You'd be so fired up, you'd be so triggered. You'd
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: be like, that's fucked. They're fuck they shouldn't have done it.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: They how dare they? You would have all these same
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: emotional reactions we're having. I just wanted to flip the
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: other side, to be like, I can see how cheating happens.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: I don't see it as black and white. I feel
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: like there's a series of events and human needs not
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: being met throughout a long period of time before this happens,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: or there's a lot of substances alcohol, drugs and partying
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: that leads to these kind of things happening as well.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: So there's a lot of things to look at. But
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: I just think at the end of the day, you've
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: got to be so clear and who you want to be,
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: your values, your morals, the type of partner you want
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: to be, and stick by that, like be reliable, be considerate,
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Realize that your actions have huge impacts that can negatively
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: affect someone's life forever and potentially blow up your life
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: and your family and your finances and everything that you
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: say you care about value. You are risking throwing that
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: out the window for a couple of minutes of pleasure.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: If it's a one night thing, obviously it's an affair,
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: it's not the whole freaking story. But yeah, oh, that
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: woman that's doing that, when you're talking about that, has
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: four children, Like, I wonder how she would feel if
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: her husband was doing that. She'd be like, oh my gosh,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I'm a home looking after the kids doing having fun
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: with this new girl and like she would should be
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: a mess, absolutely heartbroken. Yeah, so why is it okay
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: for her to go do it?
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Utterly got to put yourself in their shoes. Absolutely.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: When I think about even that situation of me saying no,
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: I don't want to go to the dinner, it's because
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be another person to enaate that situation.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Because by the sounds of it and from what I
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: saw every single person who was around them, we're not
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: voicing that it wasn't okay what they were doing. And again,
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: it's not to sit on my high horse. I've made mistakes.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: I've been the wounded person to make mistakes and to
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: fuck up really badly and ask for forgiveness on a
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: lot of things. But it's not about that. It's about
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: grown humans being like, Okay, is this right?
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Is this wrong?
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: And how are we going to change the situation? And
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: I think it takes a whole lot of level of
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: courage to be able to look at a dynamic like
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: that where you aren't happy in your relationship and then
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: be willing to leave. You're not trying to have your
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: cake and eat it too. And I think when you're
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: in situations that aren't healthy and not right or you
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: don't want to be there. Unfortunately, you don't get to
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: have your cake and eat it too. And I think
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: that personally is just the right thing for me based
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: on my level of integrity and how I would assume
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: other people should behave. And again I don't get to
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: really say how anybody else should behave other than myself.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Everyone makes their own decisions, that's right.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: But I think people allow behavior based on what they're
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: influenced by and like the common opinions of the people
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: that's surrounded by. So if there's only one person who's
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: you know, saying, hey, this isn't right, you need to
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: look at this, that might be the reason that that
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: person goes, oh my god, I want to be better
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: than this.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Because everyone else is enabling it. It almost like normalizes
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: what they're doing.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: It normalizes that, Oh it's not that bad, that's right.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: You wore to come and be like what the fuck
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: are you doing? Yeah, I actually wake them. I'll be like,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: oh my god, what am I doing? Oh my god?
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, what have I done? What have I done?
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: How to get out? I didn't even realize.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, And I think that's an important conversation to have.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: To be that one person that can create positive change
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: like that, that's cool. I would want to be that person.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I would want people to do that for
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: me me too, Like, if I'm doing something wrong, please
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: tell me, if I'm doing something that I can't see,
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: or if I'm you know, even crossing boundaries or blurred
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: lines and things that I shouldn't be doing, please tell me.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: Because I know that you love me. Yeah, I know
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: that you respect us. Yeah, high standards, hey, high standards, tangent, passionate.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Oh gosh, thank you for joining us.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Guys.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: It's Friday afternoon or morning weekends here. I enjoy your
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: weekend and we have a really powerful, amazing episode on Mondays.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: It makes sure you stay tuned. It will be in
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: your ear is four times next week. Bye bye,