Latest / Authentic Living / Finding your Resilience When Adversity Strikes
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
- 0:08things that really matter in our lives.
- 0:11And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
- 0:38Everyone, it's, Roxanne Derhodge.
- 0:39Thanks for tuning in again this week to Authentic Living with Roxanne.
- 0:44Today, I have a special guest and, Bart is and I'm gonna say, what's an athlete?
- 0:53Don't all as an athlete?
- 0:55Do you have that mindset once you're there?
- 0:59Yep.
- 1:00So he is an athlete.
- 1:01I'll tell you a little bit about his background.
- 1:02And we're gonna talk a little bit about, you know, I talk a lot about resilience and I often
- 1:07say that, myself, I was not a, you know, the type growing up that was into sports, but I was
- 1:14into different things.
- 1:15And the mind of an athlete, I think, is also always very, very fascinating.
- 1:19So he's an all American athlete, and, he had a pretty big knee injury that almost took him out
- 1:28of the game.
- 1:29And, he went on to deal with that and become the USA, track and field, master's track
- 1:38championship champion, sorry.
- 1:40Mhmm.
- 1:41And you know, after that, he kind of channeled that energy into doing what he does now, which
- 1:48is working with a lot of people, to break through barriers.
- 1:52Thanks so much, Robert, for being on and taking your time.
- 1:55My pleasure for having me.
- 1:57So let's let's talk about little bit about you.
- 2:01I love to find out a little bit about, you know, the story behind the guests and kind of,
- 2:06you know, what got you involved in sports?
- 2:09Like, I mean, I I think, like, with every little boy, I have a son and, you know, he got
- 2:14involved in know, I'm Canadian.
- 2:16So he involved in hockey and and your history growing up.
- 2:19What was your exposure to sports like?
- 2:22Can answer that in one sentence.
- 2:24I'm the youngest of 7 children.
- 2:26Oh my goodness.
- 2:27So you're, well, so you're the baby then, the special one.
- 2:30Yes.
- 2:31Yes.
- 2:32And they were all athletes including my parents.
- 2:35Wow.
- 2:35It was just kinda in the blood, but just being the baby, was constantly somebody else's little
- 2:43brother, and that drove me insane.
- 2:48Same.
- 2:48So that's where you know, I kinda had that little chip on my shoulder just trying to be
- 2:52recognized for being Robert Foster.
- 2:55I was always Ramona's little brother, your moniece little brother, your Ralph's little
- 2:59brother, and, I hated it.
- 3:01Like, I just wanted to carve my own identity.
- 3:03So I went to work, and it was the best feeling was that someone was like, oh, you're Rob
- 3:08Foster.
- 3:09I was like, thank god.
- 3:12Goal accomplished.
- 3:13Right?
- 3:13Yes.
- 3:14So we were you short distance, long distance?
- 3:17What kind of running did you do?
- 3:18I was a sprinter and a jumper.
- 3:20Sprinter and jumper.
- 3:21High jumper.
- 3:22I jumped trumps up long dump.
- 3:24Oh, wow.
- 3:24Yeah.
- 3:25I did them all.
- 3:26Wow.
- 3:26Pretty amazing.
- 3:27Thank you.
- 3:28So so you got involved.
- 3:30You were finding I what I often say is, you know, I was actually writing a piece, that's
- 3:35gonna be going out in my book that's coming in April, around the all we all of us have to
- 3:42wanna find that uniqueness.
- 3:43And I talk about myself as well in the in this particular part of the book about recognition.
- 3:48Right?
- 3:48We all wanna find that unique identity.
- 3:50I like you, came from a family of 6, and I was kinda, like, in the middle.
- 3:56I wasn't the, you know, I wasn't the golden child and I wasn't the baby.
- 4:00And I
- 4:00was just somewhere in the middle trying shuttle with my brother, who's the only boy who made
- 4:05him special, and then me.
- 4:07Right?
- 4:07So I came up with a, well, like, I think I can talk to people and I could mediate situations
- 4:13and I found that skill.
- 4:14And I would say that most of us really, really try to find that uniqueness, not like what
- 4:18you're saying that you did.
- 4:19As being the baby of 7.
- 4:21Yep.
- 4:22Yeah.
- 4:23Absolutely.
- 4:24Oh, go ahead.
- 4:25So it's with sports.
- 4:26Right?
- 4:27Like, I mean, I know this.
- 4:28My my son is actually, at a level of professional golf now.
- 4:32And
- 4:33Nice.
- 4:34There's a certain kind of, I would say, core principles that goal with being an athlete.
- 4:41So tell me what tell me what they are, in reference to, core resiliency.
- 4:47What did you kinda learn about being as good as you were at the level you were?
- 4:52And then what did you apply routinely to get better.
- 4:57Yeah.
- 4:57So when it first starts, if you just take people who work, who have never been an athlete
- 5:05before.
- 5:05They're working most people for money.
- 5:09So they're working their job.
- 5:10They put in their 40 hours to get a paycheck.
- 5:13When you're an athlete, it's performance.
- 5:16And when you're an elite athlete, it's a complete lifestyle.
- 5:20Because there's a big difference between someone who plays basketball and someone who's,
- 5:25you know, trying to become a collegiate or professional athlete.
- 5:28It's just a different level of discipline.
- 5:30And it's just a different level of care, and it's just a different level of want.
- 5:36So when you're in that level, you're gonna push yourself harder.
- 5:40You're gonna eat better.
- 5:41You're gonna be more focused.
- 5:43You're gonna spend money on the right gear.
- 5:46Mhmm.
- 5:46You know?
- 5:47So, like, it's it's all in the mind.
- 5:49I know I know mindset is over is overplayed and overused, but at the end of the day, that's
- 5:54what it is.
- 5:55So when you're an athlete, you're focused.
- 5:58And with my fitness clients, my best clients are people who were former athletes.
- 6:03Because because once you have it, it's always in there.
- 6:06And I always say it's so much easier to pull badass out of someone than it is to try to
- 6:13stuff it in someone that never had it.
- 6:15Pull it out versus push it in.
- 6:17That's I'm trying to so I think of myself, right, like, over the years, obviously, I I I
- 6:21do work but I I don't have, like, I remember when my son, he played hockey.
- 6:25He started, you know, at 7 playing hockey, and then he played travel like they would do, and
- 6:29then he moved to golf.
- 6:30Right?
- 6:31Yes.
- 6:31And I remember him, like, I I got to the point where I'm, like, of course, I'm mom and I'm,
- 6:36you know, the psychologist, and I'm trying to talk about like, you know, like balance and all
- 6:40of that.
- 6:40And he looked at me one day, and he said, mom, if you're not gonna get it, I'm like, what do
- 6:45you mean?
- 6:45He goes, I have to become the master of one thing, and he's like fourteen years old now,
- 6:53right?
- 6:54So I'm talking, well, you should hang out with your friends and, you know, and he goes, no,
- 6:57mom.
- 6:58He says every split second I get, I wanna be out there because I'm driven and I know where I
- 7:03wanna be.
- 7:04So I, you know, for him, he he was teaching me something because on the level that he was
- 7:09trying to ex explore.
- 7:10So I'm gonna assume What were your parents like?
- 7:13Like, what what guidance did they give you about developing this this mindset, like you
- 7:20said, as overuse as it is, it's a mindset or a state that you go into.
- 7:24And I'm gonna assume you start running did you start running quite young?
- 7:28Yes.
- 7:29Okay.
- 7:29Yes.
- 7:30I played and and it wasn't even just tracked.
- 7:32I played pretty much everything out there at basketball baseball, volleyball, soccer.
- 7:37Like, I played it all.
- 7:39So it, like, in our household, sports was pretty much mandatory.
- 7:43Now my father, He ran track too back in back in the day, and he ended up he could he had had a
- 7:51good shot of being on, I believe, was the 64 US Olympic team for the four hundred meter
- 7:56hurdles, but, he was in the marines and Vietnam broke out.
- 8:00So he ended up going going off to war.
- 8:03But he always pushed us.
- 8:04The thing was just a combination of his own drive with that military background.
- 8:10That he just didn't let us settle for average.
- 8:13You know, he's like, you can just roll out of bed and be average.
- 8:16So he's like, if you're gonna if you're gonna take the time to go to practice train, you
- 8:21gotta get the most out of it.
- 8:23And your body will do whatever you train it to do.
- 8:26So he said, you get out there and and you train.
- 8:28If you wanna play basketball, you gotta practice shoot, and you gotta practice running,
- 8:31you gotta practice jumping.
- 8:32And he's like, you don't just You don't just go to your practice and say that you're done.
- 8:37It's like, it's what you do before practice.
- 8:39It's what you do after practice.
- 8:41And then that's how you're gonna become a champion.
- 8:44And all of us won championships in something.
- 8:47Like, all seven of us.
- 8:49So it was something that he ingrained in you quite early.
- 8:53So I want I want you to take me back to when you do you remember some of the very first, one
- 8:58of your most significant first wins?
- 9:01I do.
- 9:02Okay.
- 9:02Tell me about that.
- 9:03And tell me what, you know, that space was for you when you actually obviously, I, you know,
- 9:10takes a lot of work to get to that level that you got to, but what was that like when you got
- 9:16that first kind of taste of of of winning at that level?
- 9:19See, and this isn't even gonna be what you're thinking, but this is the first one.
- 9:25So I was in 2nd grade.
- 9:27I, well, I believe that seven years old.
- 9:30It was an Apple Bob contest.
- 9:32Right?
- 9:32It was an Apple Bob contest.
- 9:34So it was filled day at our school.
- 9:38And my friend was up in front of me and just telling me he was gonna win.
- 9:42I had no chance.
- 9:43I shouldn't even go up there.
- 9:45And I was like, dude, I come from a long line of athletes.
- 9:48He's like, we're constantly challenging and put pushing each other.
- 9:51He's like, doesn't matter.
- 9:53You have no chance.
- 9:54So it's his turn to go, and he and he goes into his credit.
- 9:57He got down and up in 5 seconds.
- 9:59So I was like, okay.
- 10:01That's that's solid.
- 10:03But I got this.
- 10:04And so the teacher calls my name.
- 10:06I walk over to that bucket.
- 10:08I'm pulling up the sleeves, you know, up here in Rhode Island.
- 10:11It gets chilly all the time.
- 10:12It's gonna gonna pull up the sleeves, and I put my hands on that bucket.
- 10:16I looked down.
- 10:17I scanned, and I found my target.
- 10:19It was one right by the corner.
- 10:20I said, now I'm gonna take straight down, pin it to the bottom, and then I should be able to
- 10:24come up in under 5 seconds.
- 10:26And some teachers like, Ray said, go.
- 10:29And I dug dug right in there, right in.
- 10:31Soaked myself.
- 10:32Got it up 2.2 seconds.
- 10:33And Wow.
- 10:33Such a rush.
- 10:37It was, like, just the feeling of winning was such a rush that it actually helped propel
- 10:42everything else.
- 10:46You know, it's like, people chuckle when when I tell that story to, like, an Apple Bob podcast.
- 10:50Like, but but you don't get it.
- 10:52It's like, just that feeling of being doubted and then coming through.
- 10:54Yeah.
- 10:54It just laid the foundation that no matter what else I do, no matter what obstacle people try
- 11:03to put in my place, I'm gonna bust through it.
- 11:06Mhmm.
- 11:07So your injury, your major injury, was before you went on to win the the, track championship,
- 11:15was it?
- 11:15Was it as was it as you were training?
- 11:16No.
- 11:16It was actually
- 11:17during a track
- 11:20meet.
- 11:20I was thirty four years old.
- 11:22So now let's backtrack.
- 11:24In 1992, I injured it the first time training.
- 11:29I was actually trying to qualify for the 92 Olympic trials and the triple jump And I end up
- 11:35just overextending.
- 11:37I landed weird and something popped.
- 11:39So now that was in 1992.
- 11:41So this injury happened I was 34.
- 11:45So this is 16 years later.
- 11:47So it was just all those meats in between and playing basketball and everything else just was
- 11:52wearing it down, I guess.
- 11:54So I'm in this track meet now, and I have my age bracket 1 because, like, once but I believe
- 12:00it's Once you're 25 and over, you you just go into different age brackets.
- 12:03So I had my age bracket 1, 30 to 34.
- 12:07But there was a forty five year old still jumping.
- 12:10Mhmm.
- 12:10And the way my competitive spirit is is set up, I couldn't just let that go.
- 12:15So I was like, alright.
- 12:17I'm gonna I'm gonna take 111 more jump.
- 12:19So I go.
- 12:20I jump.
- 12:20I miss it, but I felt like a tug in my left knee.
- 12:25And so the other gentleman, he missed it as well.
- 12:28So I was like, alright.
- 12:29So he missed too.
- 12:30So let me do one one more.
- 12:32If I nail this one, like, because I don't think he can make this height.
- 12:35This was in the high jump.
- 12:36So I was like, I don't think he can make this height.
- 12:38So I went to my now x.
- 12:39I was like, give I was like, give me the tape.
- 12:41I was like, let me let me tape this because I felt something weird to give it some more
- 12:44support.
- 12:45Let me take this one one last jump, then I'll get my medals and we'll get out of here.
- 12:49And so I'm up in there.
- 12:51The wind had stopped, so it was like, you know, because the wind can greatly affect your your
- 12:55high jump.
- 12:56So the wind stopped the sunshine and down.
- 12:58I'm feeling good.
- 12:59Take that big breath.
- 13:01And I go and then I saw white, like legit saw white.
- 13:06I was on the ground, and I looked down, and my kneecap with a quarter to weigh up my club.
- 13:13Yeah.
- 13:13So my Patel attendant and whatever else is withholding completely gave way.
- 13:19And so I'm on the ground.
- 13:21It went instantly numb, so thank god I didn't feel that because I I pro I probably would
- 13:26woulda went into shock.
- 13:27But I had my hands over my knees, and the, the athletic trainer comes running over.
- 13:32And I was like, my I was like, my girl's called 911 already.
- 13:37She's like, oh, she's like, I don't know if you're gonna need need an ambulance.
- 13:40And then I moved my hands, and she saw my knee.
- 13:43She was like, Oh my.
- 13:44She's like, oh my.
- 13:46I was like, yeah.
- 13:47And so my next question after that was, how do I get my medals?
- 13:53That was all I cared about because at the end of the day, I still want I still won the event
- 13:57for my bracket.
- 13:58But Yeah.
- 13:59But, anyways, but we're everything changed now.
- 14:02Was in the emergency room.
- 14:05So the EMTs had put a brace on my knee, and I get into the emergency room.
- 14:10The ER doctor comes in He takes my bracelet off.
- 14:14And within half a second, he's like, oh, you're never gonna run a jump again.
- 14:20Wow.
- 14:20And now I had just started my fitness business earlier that year.
- 14:24Like, I just started.
- 14:26I just had twin when boys who were born, they were 45 at the time.
- 14:30I mean, sorry.
- 14:30They were 4 months at the time.
- 14:32You know, kids number 45.
- 14:34And so I'm like Wow.
- 14:36I'm like, never run a jump.
- 14:37And so, like, I stopped crying.
- 14:39I'm like, I'm never gonna be able to run with my kids or, you know, run with my clients.
- 14:43It's like, how how am I gonna do this?
- 14:45And then at that moment, I stopped, wiped up the tears.
- 14:50I looked at the doctor, and I'll keep it PG, But I looked at the doctor, and I said, you
- 14:55don't effin know me like that.
- 14:58I was like, you might know medicine.
- 14:59I said, but you don't know me.
- 15:01I was like, you don't know what I'm willing to go through to get this back.
- 15:04I said, and it's not even to prove you wrong, so I could care less about your opinion.
- 15:08It's the fact that I need this joint to work for me to get where I need to go.
- 15:12Mhmm.
- 15:13And he's like, well, you know, these things I said, don't even finish the sentence.
- 15:16I was like, I I don't care how these things for the average person.
- 15:19Like, you're not talking to an average person.
- 15:21I was like, I'm gonna get through this.
- 15:24And So
- 15:24let's talk about that tenaciousness, right, because that's that fire in the belly.
- 15:28Right?
- 15:28You're kinda like, you're not keeping me down.
- 15:30You may have gone to all that med school stuff, but you're not gonna you're not gonna tell me
- 15:34what I'm capable of.
- 15:35And you know, when any of us are injured, right, and we're forced not to move, there's a
- 15:44mental set that we go into.
- 15:46So you must have, as much as you know, I'm gonna do this.
- 15:50There must have been things that you fought off.
- 15:53Oh, yeah.
- 15:53Naturally to be able to kind of you know, we know the body and the the mind is 1.
- 15:58Right?
- 15:59Even though in the west, we always kinda separate those 2 out.
- 16:03What kind of things did you do to really enhance or or even I'm not even enhanced, but
- 16:09just allow this the process to occur so that your body could kinda get get back to the level
- 16:14that it needed to to go to go on.
- 16:17When I tell anyone going through anything, whether it's fitness, whether it's injury,
- 16:22whether it's a struggling business, no matter what it is, is you have to celebrate every
- 16:28single win.
- 16:30And don't worry about the stuff you'd have yet or the stuff you can't do yet.
- 16:34So at the time when I was in a wheelchair, I'd still be outside with the kid playing
- 16:39basketball.
- 16:40I'd be I'd be wheeling myself around, wrapping the ball, shooting, and, like, I can still
- 16:44shoot.
- 16:44Like, you know, my legs broken, but my arm still worked just fine.
- 16:47I was still going to the gym on crutches, hop hopping around between machines, doing doing
- 16:53what what I can do, It's like it's like if one area is hurting, then you have to intensify the
- 16:59other areas to make up for it.
- 17:01Because if you only focus on the one area that's hurting, it's gonna completely derail
- 17:06you.
- 17:06It's gonna demoralize you.
- 17:08It's gonna depress you.
- 17:09You're gonna end up gaining weight.
- 17:11You're gonna lose energy, and you're just gonna lose that that hunger.
- 17:15So for me, I just celebrated every last thing.
- 17:18It's like, hey.
- 17:19I walk three steps without Paulin.
- 17:21Yes.
- 17:22You know, hey.
- 17:22I walked all the way to the bathroom when you'll text and texting the wife.
- 17:26Hey.
- 17:26I walked all the way to the bathroom today.
- 17:28No crutches.
- 17:29Right.
- 17:29I just I just made everything amazing.
- 17:32And I just think when you keep that positive attitude and keep that energy high.
- 17:37It it seriously, I mean, I'm no doctor by any means.
- 17:40I dropped out of college three times, so I don't know if this is true or not.
- 17:43But I feel it helps the healing process just being positive like that and just surrounding
- 17:49yourself with awesome experiences.
- 17:53Oh, absolutely.
- 17:54And because, you know, we have nerve centers throughout our body.
- 17:58Right?
- 17:58And your, you know, your body remembers, like, you know, there's a famous book, that's, you
- 18:05know, based on some of the training that I did trauma, and it talks about the body keeps a
- 18:09score.
- 18:10Yes.
- 18:10Right?
- 18:11So the body is keeping all emotion if you think about it.
- 18:15And it's constantly feeding it back up.
- 18:17So we don't even have we have nerve cells in our tummies, more than ourselves in our tummies
- 18:22than we do in our brain.
- 18:23Yeah.
- 18:23So
- 18:23if you kinda think about it and if that message is going back and forth all the time to your
- 18:28point, you're actually kinda you're saying, okay.
- 18:31Move over.
- 18:31Injury.
- 18:32I gonna jump into the, you know, into the driver's seat even though I know I have to do
- 18:37this work because, again, like, we have, like, 60,000 thoughts in a day, about Roxanne, and a
- 18:44lot of them can be negative.
- 18:45So if anybody says, you know, oh, yeah.
- 18:47No.
- 18:48I think, positively all the time, I often say, telling you a lot of fibs.
- 18:52Right?
- 18:52It's about what you do to channel that, and that sounds like what you did.
- 18:56You looked at what what you had control over and incrementally gratitude I'm gonna assume
- 19:02was part of that.
- 19:03If you could kinda wheel around with your kids and and be able to still do some things, but
- 19:08just being gracious for what you have versus the focus on what you don't have with the which
- 19:15was the fact that you were kinda you're in a wheelchair and you're a runner.
- 19:18Yeah.
- 19:19Yes.
- 19:19If that's not gonna derail you, I'm not I'm not sure what wouldn't kind of thing.
- 19:23Yeah.
- 19:24And even with even with the fitness business, like, I would show up down to the field.
- 19:30I'd drive the van.
- 19:31I'd have my wheelchair in in the back of it.
- 19:33My clients would come.
- 19:34They'd get the wheelchair.
- 19:35They would open me.
- 19:36They would help me out of the van.
- 19:37They would help me into the wheelchair.
- 19:38They would push me over to the part in the playground where we were gonna be training.
- 19:43And, you know, I I have my clipboard and I'm barking orders and, you know, people are
- 19:47walking in a park, like, looking at me, my leg all up in a wheelchair, like, you know, this
- 19:51guy's in charge over here, but, you know, it's all about how you show up.
- 19:55If you show up positively and powerfully, great things can happen.
- 19:59So the fact that at that time, I was only 1 week post surgery, and I was already back out
- 20:04there.
- 20:04Yeah.
- 20:04I was already back out there because I told myself, you can do this.
- 20:08Right?
- 20:08When you tell yourself you can do this, you can do it.
- 20:11If you tell yourself you can't do it, you're right there too.
- 20:14So I just keep it positive all the time.
- 20:17So let's talk rituals because I'm gonna assume, just from what you're saying, and I know what I
- 20:23what I teach and what I speak about and rituals are so such a big part of it.
- 20:27So tell me when you now you know, in your business and when you're speaking or when
- 20:32you're coaching, I'm gonna assume you teach a lot about rituals.
- 20:36So tell me what you teach.
- 20:38As a frame because Robert, if we think about the time we're in, the biggest thing that I'm
- 20:44dealing with is the challenges, because most people are trying really, really hard.
- 20:48But it's almost like we have, you know, this, the world's on a tilt.
- 20:52Right?
- 20:53And everybody's trying to gain control but, you know, we do it some days and you don't do it
- 20:58some days and people are trying their best.
- 21:00So what kind of things do you talk about and teach people about resilience.
- 21:07It starts it starts with the clarity of the vision.
- 21:11It's like most people most people will say it starts with the y.
- 21:15Like, the the the y is in there, but just and this is, you know, my own 22¢.
- 21:20Is it has to start with the clarity of vision.
- 21:23So when I started my gym so now this was actually a year and a half prior to me ever
- 21:30thinking about having a standalone look location.
- 21:33I took out my my trusty notebook, and I just sketched what I wanted my gym to look like.
- 21:39Now it was a ghetto looking sketch because I don't draw, but I did I did the best I could.
- 21:44I was like, I know I want a smaller room up front, something that was wasn't too
- 21:48intimidating.
- 21:48Like, I don't want people to walk in the door and be like, oh, wow.
- 21:51Let's see all this obstacle stuff.
- 21:52I want it to be welcoming, inviting, and inspiring.
- 21:55So then I wanted it to open up into a bigger room where we would have the equipment and the
- 22:01ropes hanging in the climbing walls kettlebells and all that stuff.
- 22:04Mhmm.
- 22:05But that was after they were nice and comfortable.
- 22:07So I wanted an office over here on this side.
- 22:09I want a storage room here and your bathrooms over here.
- 22:13And so we fast forward a year and a half now.
- 22:16I had I had bad credit.
- 22:17I had no savings.
- 22:19And I had I told her I dropped out of college.
- 22:21So it's like, I don't have a degree.
- 22:23It's like, how how am I gonna do this?
- 22:26I said, so all what I'm gonna do like, I was talking with my parents and said, so what I'm
- 22:30gonna do is I'm just gonna keep changing people's lives.
- 22:32And then at some point, a door is gonna open.
- 22:35Mhmm.
- 22:36And so that that was all I focused on.
- 22:37We're just getting my clients', clients' results, getting them out of their bad habits,
- 22:41helping them get of blood pressure meds, helping them fix their cholesterol, you know,
- 22:46reverse in type 2 diabetes.
- 22:48Like, I just focused on that.
- 22:50And then one day after a busy class, one of my clients approached me and was like, why don't
- 22:55you have your own place?
- 22:56He's like, you know, you you have such a strong following.
- 22:59And then so long story short, he and one of his his partners, they invested in me to open up a
- 23:05five thousand square foot facility.
- 23:07So now as we're scouting around locations, we walked into this one.
- 23:12And when I tell you when we walked in, this place was a dump.
- 23:15It was an absolute dump.
- 23:17It was smelly.
- 23:18It was like a, like, a mill do filled carpet or holes all over the wall.
- 23:23It was dirty in the main road, and I walked in and said, this is perfect.
- 23:28And they looked at me like, what?
- 23:30They're like, this place is perfect.
- 23:32I was like, you don't understand.
- 23:34When I sketched down about a year and a half ago, this is it.
- 23:39And it it was so scary.
- 23:41The only difference was this one had an extra storage room that I didn't have written down,
- 23:46and it had an upstairs, which I didn't have written down.
- 23:48But the main layout was to a tee to what I had written down.
- 23:54And so that clarity of vision helped us turn that dirty old warehouse into an award winning
- 24:01facility.
- 24:02So
- 24:02Amazing.
- 24:03So the the capacity of of visualization Right?
- 24:06Like, like, not not not to trivialize to what you just said, but
- 24:10Yeah.
- 24:10In your brain, even though I'm sure the other people you're with were thinking, what is he
- 24:14seeing.
- 24:15You because you had had that mind that mental set, oh, and and to your point, right, if
- 24:20you're the average person walks into a gym, you know, I remember when I used to go to the gym,
- 24:25like, way back and you walk and you see the big guys, you're like, oh, okay.
- 24:27I'm not gonna move there.
- 24:29Look at what their lift I'm going you know, and then you you because you're like, woah.
- 24:33Okay.
- 24:34So that co concept of being inviting, and, yeah, I don't wanna see a £20 kilobell as soon
- 24:39as I'm hitting the the the front.
- 24:41I I wanna see a 10, maybe a 5, but that whole approach of I want people to come in.
- 24:47I want them to kinda get their feet wet.
- 24:50I want them to think, okay.
- 24:51It's a gym.
- 24:51Okay.
- 24:52And then feel welcomed.
- 24:53And then then they go into the backroom and then they can see.
- 24:56Well,
- 24:56okay.
- 24:56Well, I can do this.
- 24:57So you have that vision, and I think what happens to a lot of people is they, you know,
- 25:02like, to your point, you you didn't focus on what you didn't have.
- 25:05Right?
- 25:06He didn't focus on, yeah, had this injury or, you know, I don't have the money.
- 25:10I don't have the degree, all that stuff, which is a lot of times what people tell themselves,
- 25:14but they don't stop to think, you know, obviously, you're passionate about, you know,
- 25:19what you do.
- 25:20And you make a change in people's lives.
- 25:22And that's where you went from.
- 25:23Like you said, one person at a time, you made the difference.
- 25:28You, you know, people come in potentially overweight, not feeling good, no energy, high
- 25:34cholesterol, all that stuff, and you just kept focused on small goals with them over and over
- 25:40again.
- 25:40And then, of course, once people start to move and they start to shift things, then guess
- 25:44what?
- 25:44They go back to the doc and the doc goes, what have you been doing?
- 25:48They're doing lots of little things often consistent, and then they start to see the
- 25:52change.
- 25:52And that's where you you just, you just kinda hung out and did that a bit of time with
- 25:57everybody over and over again.
- 25:59Yes.
- 25:59Yeah.
- 25:59And, you know, pig piggybacking on that is not just the ability to see it is you have to be
- 26:05able feel it.
- 26:06Like, when I sketched it down, like, I pictured myself walking into the doors and seeing what I
- 26:13had laid out because, like, some people can say, yeah.
- 26:15You know, I wanna make a $1,000,000, but but they can't see themselves living in the home
- 26:19with their dreams, driving the car, their dreams, having their kids in the the school of
- 26:23their dreams and taking the vacation of their dreams.
- 26:25Like, they don't they don't take it that deep.
- 26:28And so I
- 26:30always say How do you take it deep?
- 26:32Let's talk about that because, you know, like a lot of people, you're right, you know, and, you
- 26:35know, the self help people say, you know, kind of put it out there.
- 26:39No.
- 26:39You have to do a lot more other than you have to feel it
- 26:43Yes.
- 26:43And experience it.
- 26:44So tell me how you do that.
- 26:45I know.
- 26:46I mean, I know what I do, but I'm curious to what you do.
- 26:49Yeah.
- 26:49I mean, ins insides, well, there's different there's different ways.
- 26:53So it depends what I'm dealing with.
- 26:54So on dealing with fitness, you know, sir, I work with mostly women.
- 26:59So with women, a lot of it is, you know, they have that that one little dress in their
- 27:04clothes that they haven't worn a decade that they wanna put it back on.
- 27:08And I just walked them through that process.
- 27:10Like, what would that mean to you?
- 27:11Like, picture it.
- 27:12Where would you wear that dress?
- 27:14It's like you have to ask the right questions.
- 27:16And so when you're doing it for for for yourself, a lot of people struggle with that,
- 27:21but that's where coaches like us come into play.
- 27:23And we help people through that process.
- 27:26So my process is 7 steps.
- 27:28And so now this used to be called years ago, shut up an exercise, but I wanted to take it
- 27:34wider.
- 27:35Right?
- 27:35I wanted to take it wider, so I switched it to shut up and grind because it doesn't matter
- 27:40what you're working on instead of whether you're an athlete, whether, you know, you own a
- 27:43hair salon or a bowling alley.
- 27:45Like, it doesn't matter.
- 27:46Like, all the principles are exactly the same.
- 27:48What do you want?
- 27:50What will it do for you if you get it?
- 27:52Why do you want it?
- 27:53How will you benefit the community if you get it?
- 27:55You know, what would the legacy be for your for your family, are you solving problems, or are
- 28:00you just providing providing, you know, selling products?
- 28:04And, like, you just have to ask the right questions and get down to the heart of what
- 28:08what is in their passion, you know, what's in their heart.
- 28:11And and because, like, once you get that deep, that person will go far.
- 28:16People who are content are going nowhere.
- 28:19Absolutely nowhere.
- 28:20So I don't even mess with people who are who are content.
- 28:24So, like, you have to work with the people who are fed up, and they're ready to change.
- 28:29Those people will be receptive to the coaching.
- 28:32The people who are who are content, not gonna say all of them because, you know, you can't
- 28:35pigeonhole everyone, but a majority of people who are like, yeah, you know, I'm okay where I
- 28:39am.
- 28:39So, well, I'm not the right coach for you
- 28:42So through this this time and how have you shifted things with your business.
- 28:50Like, with the speaking, yeah, I know what's speaking the in person I'm not doing as much.
- 28:55I'm doing more virtual, speaking in training, coaching, how have you shifted and how how the
- 29:00gym is physically still in in in Rhode Island, right?
- 29:03How have you had to pivot And are you, you know, here in, I'm close to Toronto to give I'm
- 29:10in Niagara Falls, which is about an hour from Toronto.
- 29:12We're we're in a a complete lockdown.
- 29:14Are you are you are you open still, or are you in lockdown like us?
- 29:18Well, we we weren't shut down again.
- 29:23November 30th to December 20th.
- 29:25So we were allowed to open December 21st just with with restrictions, of course.
- 29:30So, yes, we are open now, but overall, I mean, you know, I'm down, like, 60% in volume.
- 29:37I wanna say, So it's it has been tough, but, like I said, I don't worry about what I can't
- 29:42do, what what I can't have.
- 29:44So in that time, I I I had actually taken my classes outdoors.
- 29:50This is back in April, I mean, back in March.
- 29:53Before the governor mandated it because I knew it was coming.
- 29:56I was just watching what what was happening elsewhere.
- 29:58Like, so let's just stay ahead of the curve and start adapting to it now.
- 30:02So I did that, but then that gave me the green light to go ahead and start the podcast because
- 30:07I had 8 live gigs booked between March May.
- 30:12And then, obviously, they all got canceled.
- 30:15And I had this this nice microphone I bought like a year and a half ago just sitting here
- 30:19thing does and the lights in the green screen.
- 30:21That was Mhmm.
- 30:22I had it all, and then I was that creature that was content.
- 30:26So it's like I'm busy busy with the gym.
- 30:28The gym is growing.
- 30:29You know, speaking gigs are coming.
- 30:30So Mhmm.
- 30:31But now with those taken away, I was like, you know what?
- 30:34Let's get the podcast up and going.
- 30:36And let's start, you know, working on getting I joined 22 masterminds, went about getting on TV
- 30:41and went about doing Facebook ads because now I can help other businesses with their marketing.
- 30:48By, you know, teaching them how to do how to do Facebook ads and social media marketing and
- 30:53personal branding and all that good stuff.
- 30:55So, like, I I took myself from just being, I don't wanna say just, but being a gym owner and
- 31:01a speaker and to now being a full blown international business coach
- 31:06Amazing.
- 31:07So who are your mentors?
- 31:09Like, I it sounds like your your dad was an athlete.
- 31:12Was he one of his or who were the mentors in your life?
- 31:15Or who are the people that mentor you now kind of whether it's kinda you you am you think
- 31:21about them, or you do have mentors now that you follow.
- 31:24Yeah.
- 31:24I mean, I do I do have some now, but I know this is gonna sound cliche, but I try to I try
- 31:29to learn from everyone.
- 31:31You know, there's so many people on this planet and as knowledgeable as I am, I know I don't
- 31:36know everything.
- 31:37But I I just know there there are things you have swirling around in your brain I've
- 31:40probably never thought of.
- 31:42So, you know, so I just try to take bits and pieces from as many people as I can, but,
- 31:46obviously, it starts in the household, but definitely starts in household.
- 31:50If if your parents are pushing you, you're gonna grow up with more with more drive.
- 31:54If you're in a household where both parents are working full full time when you're bouncing
- 31:59around from from day cares, chances are you're not gonna get the same structure.
- 32:03And, and, again, I'm saying chances are, you know, I'm not pigeon hole and everyone, but so
- 32:07it starts there.
- 32:08But then from there, there comes a time where you have to step into your power.
- 32:13Right?
- 32:13You have to step into your power.
- 32:15And as an example, I was speaking with a young young woman who just recently graduated from
- 32:20college with an exercise physiology degree.
- 32:23And so I said to her, I said, so what are you gonna do with it?
- 32:26She's like, well, you know, I I have to get experience now.
- 32:29I'm like, you have a degree.
- 32:30I said, right now, this moment, you are an expert.
- 32:34Everyone that doesn't have one.
- 32:36I said I said, so why are you gonna let people you into a box and tell you what you need to do
- 32:43before you can make it.
- 32:44I said right now with the power of the internet, You can start a YouTube channel or a
- 32:49TikTok channel or whatever and start sharing your knowledge.
- 32:53Your knowledge is valuable run it.
- 32:56Yes.
- 32:56Yes.
- 32:56I'm sure you're gonna wanna work with with patients and clients at some point.
- 33:00I said, but step into your power now.
- 33:04You know, it's like you don't wanna shrink yourself, and so many people fall into that
- 33:08trap.
- 33:09And even more so in the time, right, with all the negativity.
- 33:12You gotta you gotta shut it off.
- 33:13You you know, I know with you guys in the US, you're going into, you know, a a quite the
- 33:18week.
- 33:18You you gotta take it in, but you gotta, you know, not worry about it too much.
- 33:22I often say limits the amount of, you know, some social, not a lot, not a lot of news, Just
- 33:27find out what's going out.
- 33:28What do you need to know?
- 33:29Because, really, that's a lot of it's negative coming at you.
- 33:32And then you Yeah.
- 33:32You know, this is your this is your capital up here.
- 33:35You gotta really protect it at on all cost.
- 33:38Now for anyone listening, that's, you know, they're like, oh, this sounds all well and good
- 33:43at Roxanne, but I'm having a tough time.
- 33:45Robert.
- 33:45What what would be some for small steps?
- 33:48You would say whether it's a a woman getting wanting to get in shape, which I know you work
- 33:52a lot with, or, like you said, somebody coming out of college that, you know, is like, well,
- 33:57there's no, you know, we're not pandemic.
- 33:59Did you not know?
- 34:00And how am I gonna start anything?
- 34:02Or Well, I had to pivot because my business is down by 50%, which is what most businesses are
- 34:07down by overall.
- 34:08What would you say?
- 34:09What kind of tips would you give them to to to at least get going right now?
- 34:14Yeah.
- 34:14The average person spends about 4 hours per day on social media.
- 34:204 hours per day.
- 34:22Take that time and put yourself out there.
- 34:26Like, no matter what field you're in, no matter what industry you're in, you are filled with so
- 34:32much power that you don't even know exists.
- 34:36Right?
- 34:36So I just start I started a program this year also called speak about yourself out loud
- 34:41because as I joined these multiple mass minds and, you know, you're in all these Facebook
- 34:46groups.
- 34:47And you start hearing people say, hey.
- 34:49Someone so introduce yourself to, like, hi.
- 34:51I, and Mary and I am, from and it's like, you know, you have to be able to tell to speak
- 35:00about you people can speak about movies.
- 35:02They can speak about how their girlfriend's crazy.
- 35:04They can speak about how so many different things about the great bar or the football
- 35:08game.
- 35:09But but it's like, what do you wanna do?
- 35:13So I I help people take their own personal experiences and start things like blogs, you
- 35:20know, become, writers, speakers, podcasts, you know, if they wanna write write a book There's
- 35:27just so so many different different things that people can do with their own experience, but
- 35:32the problem is is that people think, nobody wants that.
- 35:34Wants to hear from me.
- 35:35Like, there's 7,000,000,000 people on this planet.
- 35:387,000,000,000.
- 35:39And to put it in perspective, here in the US, I'm sure sure you've heard of Dwayne the Rock
- 35:44Johnson.
- 35:45Yes.
- 35:45Right.
- 35:45He's got 275,000,000 followers.
- 35:49There's 7,700,000,000 people on the planet.
- 35:53So you know how many billions of people have no clue who that man is?
- 35:58No problem.
- 35:58So Think about it.
- 35:59So so there's people out there that need to hear what you have to say.
- 36:04And they Absolutely.
- 36:05Right?
- 36:05You can heal people's souls with your stories.
- 36:08Absolutely.
- 36:10Well, I think you and I, I love your energy, Robert.
- 36:13You brought, you brought, nice time to the listeners today and to myself.
- 36:18So for people that are interested and they wanna learn more about, you know, when things
- 36:24open up or even virtual speaking or any other things that you do in reference to some of the
- 36:29programs that you talked about, where can people reach you?
- 36:32Well, you know, website and social, those types of things.
- 36:35Yes.
- 36:36You can reach me on my website, Robert b Foster.com/speaker.
- 36:43And then all of my social links are there on that site as well.
- 36:47Okay.
- 36:47Well, thank you so much for your time.
- 36:49So what am I learning?
- 36:50What am I taking away?
- 36:51You know?
- 36:53Don't ever not listen to what you have internally.
- 36:55And I think of myself as a little girl growing up in Trinidad and what I what was my
- 37:01uniqueness.
- 37:01And at that time, my friends would say, no.
- 37:03He's gonna listen to you.
- 37:04You're 11.
- 37:05I go, yeah.
- 37:06Yeah.
- 37:06I'll figure out what I'm gonna do.
- 37:08And I I went on and you know, created a, you know, went to school and did all that stuff to
- 37:12to do the kind of work that I do.
- 37:14And I've been giving back for a long time, And, you know, I feel privileged that I listened.
- 37:20I listened to something that I thought I could be good at, not knowing that if if I would get
- 37:24paid for Ready.
- 37:25That was the last thing on my mind.
- 37:26Yep.
- 37:27So for everyone, just listen to that deep space.
- 37:29We all have it.
- 37:30That's space within you that we're so busy that we kinda get disconnected from, and we think,
- 37:36oh, yeah.
- 37:36Well, I don't I don't have that thing that I can be good at.
- 37:39Listen, spend time in nature, clear your mind right, you know, get things out, and it it will
- 37:45eventually come to you.
- 37:46For anyone that's wanting to learn more about authentic relationships, I just launched a new
- 37:51course, on how to authentically connect at home, especially at this time with the
- 37:56pandemic.
- 37:56We all need the skills that much more So it's a full week, live coaching and and, training
- 38:03course, and that will be starting soon.
- 38:05So if you're interested, please reach out Roxanne.
- 38:10Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive
- 38:15healthy change.
- 38:17Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit Roxanne
- 38:24Durgesh dotcom/blueprint.
- 38:27We'll see you next time on authentic living with Roxanne.