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Emotional Meter: The Red Line · Unlocking The Paradigm Portal

0:01
This morning I woke up and before my eyes were even fully
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open. I was already.
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Working now, I wasn't physically actually working.
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I hadn't moved. I was still.
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Laying horizontally and I had forgotten.
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To set the coffee. Pot so that hadn't happened yet,
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but my brain was already accumulating and it was already
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in performance mode and I was already building the list of
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what needed. To happen today, but I caught
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it. And I sat up and I made my.
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Coffee. Slowly so.
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I'm calling this the catching, and it is that tiny pause
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between the impulse and the action.
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So that's. What Today's Sunday Deep?
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Dive is about. So welcome back to unlocking the
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Paradigm Portal. My name is.
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Sarah, this is. Going to be a shorter one
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because I. Just.
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Want it to be just because and I want to share some stuff.
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So yesterday my daughter Quinn had her. 1st shift at her first
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ever job. She just turned 14 and right.
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Away she was like. I want to earn my own money so I
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can go spend it. And as a side note, she was like
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and I want to get us some Starbucks in the morning once in
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a while, which I thought was. Very sweet.
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If you don't know who Quinn is, I did a Sunday.
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Deep dive with her. I interviewed her and I got to
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do another interview with her. I don't know when.
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It was maybe like a month ago, maybe more than that.
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She is a magical Unicorn. I mean, she's, she just
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literally just turned 14 and she chose to jump into working so.
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I drove her there. And I watched her walk.
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Through the door of this ice cream shop that she hopefully
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will be. Working this summer if she
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chooses to continue and I snap my proud Mama picture and all I
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could think. Was yes, there was this
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excitement for her, but also. She has no idea what she just
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stepped into, and not in some kind of like doom doomsday kind
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of mentality, but in the way that none of us do in the very
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beginning. And it pulled.
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Me right back. To when I was 13 and I had my
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first job and how looking back now and I'm 46 now and seeing
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all. Of the ways that all.
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Like starting work really young. Created that.
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Accumulator and performer that I've been talking about for the
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last. Week so I drop.
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Her off I come home and my son. Brody.
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He'd left. Quinn's at work and I just laid
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down on the couch and I couldn't move.
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I was so incredibly physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted
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and I hadn't done anything physical.
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Yesterday I took the day off I. Silenced my phones and I
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literally spent the day like looking around seeing the things
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I could be doing but instead being like my body says rest.
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But I still. Laid in my pajamas, Quinn and I
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binged a few movies. But while we were doing that.
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I was like. Mentally and emotionally
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processing. And the thing was like, yeah, I
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wasn't doing anything but. I was still.
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Doing something but the moment that my.
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House was quiet. My body took that.
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As permission that it had been waiting.
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For and it stopped like completely.
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I couldn't do anything. I was like, I'm going to do
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something creative. I pulled out this.
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Ginormous diamond art that I. Have that is this.
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Rainbow. Hues, Tree of Life.
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And I just have been slowly chipping away and I would
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normally put on like Big Bang Theory, been re binging it for
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like the 15th time and just kind of do that.
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But literally my arms wouldn't lift.
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And here's what I want to be really honest.
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With that I realized after the fact.
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I couldn't even do that. I couldn't do anything but just
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lay on the couch. And it wasn't like burnout or
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anything. It was my body saying stop.
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And I've been ignoring it. And even though I had been quote
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UN quote, doing all of the relaxing time all day, I hadn't
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because my mind was running. I was working through stuff in
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my head. And that is just as draining.
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And I don't know if I would have stopped if anyone had been home.
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Because that, I realized, is that.
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Performer pattern and maybe you'll recognize it where taking
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that pause it only feels permissible when no one is
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watching, when the kids are gone, when the house is quiet,
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when there's no one around to witness you not doing something
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and there's no one no wonder why you're just lying there like no
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one needs anything from you and there's.
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Still a huge. List of things to do.
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But your body just says stop because.
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That stopping happened when the conditions were finally right
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for me, and that's worth sitting with, which I have done, because
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what that really means is that my body has been asking how
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long? Before the quiet.
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The house went quiet, and it just waited until it was.
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Safe to be heard. That was a pretty.
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Profound moment for me and I think many.
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Of us do this. We keep pushing through until
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the right moment, like until everyone else is taken.
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Care of or the house clears. And we have permission and by
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then that meter inside. Of us is already.
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In the red, like my battery was dropped down to 0.
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And that actually is another Quinn thing she'll say to me.
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My, what does she call it? My social meter is.
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At 0. Or my social meter is running
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low and that just means, and she's got it nailed down.
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She knows that that. Means I have to retreat.
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And self soothe. And she can identify it because
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she hasn't learned over the years.
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To disregard it so. There's so much wisdom that that
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girl carries, and actually her name means Wise 1 so.
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It's very appropriate. So here's what I know about
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myself, and I'm sharing all of this because this is what Sunday
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Deep Dives are meant to be. Because I talk.
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About all these things I go into the core wounds, the
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generational patterns, the liminal spaces.
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All of that because that is me, but I also.
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Am all of these things that we all struggle with.
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So when I sit here and say I'm in it with you, I'm freaking in
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it with you. And I share that.
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So, you know, I'm not sitting on a pedestal saying this is how
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you suddenly grow and develop. I'm constantly growing and
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developing, like right along with you and the patterns I
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talked. About this week the.
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Accumulator and the performer and that struggle to stay in the
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in between and just not know or just float and.
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Exist I have struggles. With that all the time and the
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last two days have been really perfect examples, culminating
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with this morning and laying totally horizontal and going
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into work mode literally when my brain turned on so I have.
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Both of those. Patterns, so the accumulator.
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Is that if you go? Back and check out the episodes.
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I'm not going to like dive into all of them.
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That's the one who collects the information, the understanding,
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the insight, the tasks, the responsibilities.
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They are always in gathering mode.
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They are always adding. And it's so useful and it was
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built for reasons and it kept me moving forward and it kept me
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constantly learning and growing and developing.
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But it can become quite the hang up when you keep doing that and
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aren't listening to the signs from your body.
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And the other one is the performer, and that's the one
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who manages how I'm perceived. And the way that I've gone into
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performer mode personally is it's not all like song and
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dance. My performer mode is kind of the
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inverse of that. I end up dimming my sparkle and
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I have a pretty potent sparkle. I have a friend who.
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Says I have low. Beams and high beams and I find
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I automatically will shift subconsciously into low beams to
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keep myself from being uncomfortable with others seeing
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how brightly I can just be out in the world because it
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honestly. Feels like others.
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Have a hard time holding it, like I'm taking up too much
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space and it makes me feel uncomfortable so I dim it down
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so that I don't have to feel uncomfortable and that ends up
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having me monitoring the energy. Of other people.
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And I'm adjusting accordingly and sometimes I'm even
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registering. When I'm doing it now I can
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actually recognize it. And what I've learned is that
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these aren't character. Flaws.
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And they showed up. Yesterday with the.
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Accumulator and they showed up this morning with a performer
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and. They're outdated.
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Identities. And they serve me.
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They really, really. Did, but they've also.
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Been running the show long past their usefulness.
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So the work is. Not fighting them, it's seeing
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them and saying thank you for what you did and now you can sit
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your butt down because I don't need to play it small anymore
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and I don't need to refrain from just existing.
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So there's a framework that I use with my clients and I, I
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just recently started developing this and it's called the
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Emotional Meter. So.
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Everyone has a meter and it's calibrated differently and some
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people hit their Max at a. Lower threshold like they.
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Burn out faster. Or they get sick.
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Sooner. Or they feel that.
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Overwhelm a lot quicker and that sounds like a disadvantage, but
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in some ways it's. Actually a huge gift because
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their body is. Speaking up so loudly and so
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early and others. And I am one of these people
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having much. Higher threshold for that.
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Emotional Meter. It's a higher.
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Capacity and more tolerance, which sounds like a strength and
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in many contexts. It is.
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But what I've realized. Is there is a shadow side to it?
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That you end up pushing further. I end up pushing further.
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I miss the early signals and I don't feel, you know, that that
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image of the frog in the water and then the water slowly starts
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to boil and the frog doesn't even realize it's.
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There that. Someone with a very.
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High. Emotional meter Max because you
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don't even feel the heat of the water until you're already
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cooking. So the goal that I realized.
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Is not learning to. Lower your capacity.
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It's. Raising the awareness of where
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you are on your own meter before you.
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Hit the red. And man, I don't know about you.
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But like. That is a continuous challenge
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to recognize it before. You hit the red I thought I had.
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Realized I'd maxed out because I spent my day in my pajamas
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laying on the couch with my kiddo binging movies.
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But I still was. My brain was still operating and
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then once the. House was quiet.
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My meter was like red line boom hit the ground.
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Not literally, I did hit. The couch though, so.
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There's something that most people I think maybe are aware
10:59
of but don't really get the significance.
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And this ties into my practice of over 20 years and.
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Bodywork. Is that the?
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Signals that we get are somatic. This is not coming from your
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mind. This is why all the work I do
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with people. Is connecting the thoughts?
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Back to the body, the experiences, back to the body.
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Because when you can really tune into your body, you identify
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them so much more clearly, and then you can actually do
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something about it. So you are living.
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In a body that you are constantly tuning out.
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Because of everything. Under the sun and frankly.
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Society tells us to. Tune it out and to be more
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productive. But here's the problem.
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These signals are not dramatic. They're very, very.
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Quiet and. Subtle so.
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It can come up as like feeling really heavy and you can't
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explain why. Like I that was the word I had.
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For it at the end of the day. Yesterday I just felt.
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Heavy not. I called it exhaustion.
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Earlier. But it was heavy, my body.
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Felt like I couldn't lift it anymore and I had this like
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weight in my chest. It felt like something was just
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sitting there and my throat felt kind of the sensations.
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This is the other thing you got to learn the sensations,
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language, the sensations that I would.
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Describe it as. Were like an achy burn in my
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throat and my upper chest, almost like I was getting sick.
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But I'm not getting sick. And that inability to move that
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isn't laziness. That was that.
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Heaviness I felt. It's like the body circuit
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breaker was doing. Exactly what it was designed to
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do. If you have ever done anything
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with circuits, like something pops in your house, everything
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goes black. Right, that's what it felt like.
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And most people, myself included, don't recognize those
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signals because no one ever told them that's what they were.
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And what do we learn? We learn, You push through.
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You just keep digging deeper. You.
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Chug more coffee you drink an energy drink you.
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Go do a power workout you take. Like a 30 minute power nap.
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Which is great. But it's just a Band-Aid.
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So let's stop band aiding everything and start actually
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listening to this wisdom that is in your body.
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And I didn't try to. Fix it yesterday.
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Well, I'm not going to lie, I did.
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Try to fix it. I tried to find.
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Subtle ways that I could just. Lay down in journal.
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But I was literally so heavy I couldn't write.
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It was crazy. But my mind wasn't shut down, it
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was just sluggish and slow because the computer.
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Was overworked. And I didn't analyze it.
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I stopped trying to analyze it because the house was.
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Quiet, I just. Kind of located it and I laid
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here. And I was like.
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Breathing and going OK, this is my job.
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This is. What I do with people, I got to
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apply. It to myself what sensations am
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I feeling right now and I had to. 1st.
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Like hone into it what? Area of the.
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Body. That's when I identified.
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The upper chest part. And then what does it feel like?
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I'm like, it feels like that burning, achy, kind of almost
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stingy sore throat feeling. And that helped me kind of
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TuneIn more and I just put my awareness there and I breathed
14:13
into it and then slowly it started to soften.
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It was literally like. And I teach this to my clients.
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The more that you just recognize it your.
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Body goes thank. You thank you.
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And the discomfort fades and it or it slows down or it
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dissipates just just the tiniest bit and that's it.
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That's the whole practice. It's not some big.
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Elaborate protocol. It's not techniques.
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It's just. Allowing yourself to pause long
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enough to notice it. Where is it?
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Living in your body right now, Can you find it?
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Are you even able to do that? If not, that's OK.
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That just means you got to. Pause a little bit.
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Longer and start tuning in more and you might need to learn more
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of the language about your own body, about words that are
15:01
sensations. If you're saying things like I
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feel anxiety. Great.
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That's the starting point. What does anxiety?
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Feel like for you? Where are you?
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Feeling it in your body like where are the sensations calling
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to you and then? You pull at that.
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Thread more What do those sensations?
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Feel like is it? Tightness is it.
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Heaviness is it of. Rapid heart rate.
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And you get very nuanced in that so.
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You just breathe toward it without.
15:31
Trying to move it. You just observe it.
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And the moment of locating it, of feeling the weight of what
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you've been carrying without immediately trying to put it
15:41
down, just observing it. Remember scientist mode
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collecting data? That is what I call.
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Sitting in the hallway. That, my friends, is the liminal
15:51
space I've been talking about. Because instead of running and
15:54
doing and collecting and gathering and performing, you're
15:58
just being. And I realized this.
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Week I was. Getting into all these
16:03
conversations because that's the way that my brain operates.
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But I was also maybe going too complicated, too complex.
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It's as simple as. Just.
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Breathing into it and noticing it not doing anything about it,
16:15
just being with it for a minute. So the hallway.
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If you didn't listen to the other episodes again, go back.
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I'm not going to dive into it, but imagine a hallway and
16:25
there's doors on every side and each one has something that
16:30
needs your attention, something to do.
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To decide to. Produce to respond to.
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To show up for. And most of us spend our lives
16:40
moving from door. To door or.
16:42
Standing in front of one door telling ourselves we should be
16:45
at a different one. Because all those doorways are
16:48
possibility. They're all potential.
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So what if instead of even acknowledging the doors?
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What if you just turn the lights?
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Down. Like.
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I referenced dark matter and severance those.
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Two TV shows. And the severance?
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Hallway is super bright. And the dark matter hallway.
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Is super dark, but what if you just?
17:08
Dim the lights like drop the dimmer switch.
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Halfway. So it's not super bright, but
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it's not totally dark. And what if you just sat on the
17:16
floor in the hallway? I mean try this.
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Literally in your house. Go wherever.
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You have a hallway and instead of going through.
17:24
A door. Just sit on the floor and just
17:27
notice, like look around, notice things.
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Like if you have pets, is there pet hair that's?
17:33
Accumulated around the baseboards and are any doorways
17:37
cracked open? And what do you see in there?
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And just notice, don't go through, just sit.
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Like consider this an active practice.
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You don't move, you don't perform, you don't accumulate,
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you just sit in the middle of. All of it.
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And let it be. What it is?
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And if somebody walks past you and is like, what?
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The hell are you doing? Just be like.
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I'm just. Pausing or totally.
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Confuse them and be like, I'm in the liminal space.
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Most people don't even know what that is.
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And it it will definitely get some funny looks, which could be
18:07
fun. And then that's more data just
18:08
like, huh, that was interesting because sitting in that hallway,
18:12
that is the liminal. Space.
18:14
It's the place between. It's the pause that.
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Most high functioning. People treat is wasted.
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Time and most burnout survivors eventually recognize as the only
18:26
thing that kept them from completely falling apart.
18:30
So I picked up. Quinn last night after her first
18:32
shift and she climbed in the car and she had cash tips in her
18:37
pocket and overwhelm on her face in equal measure.
18:42
Because this girl. Is not used to working intensely
18:44
with someone. Who is like?
18:46
Barking orders at her and her boss had been in my opinion and
18:51
from her perspective. Now I only heard from her.
18:53
Perspective pretty hard. On her.
18:56
She had. Snapped at her on a busy
18:58
Saturday night with no prior training.
19:01
But. Here's the cool thing.
19:03
Quinn held her ground. And my girl.
19:06
Who has struggled with? Mental health and depression and
19:09
anxiety and overwhelm for a very long time didn't crumble.
19:15
Like that I. Was in a such a proud Mama
19:17
moment and when she was kind of barked at she said I'm not sure
19:22
what to do instead of falling apart and she told me she had
19:26
the urge. To cry, but she.
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Didn't. And she just buckled down and
19:29
kept working and she decided that, yeah, whenever that she
19:34
gets the call for another shift, she wants to go back.
19:38
And on the way home, we talked about listening, about listening
19:41
to her inner judgement, even recognizing her inner judgement.
19:45
Because she has stellar. Natural inner judgement, because
19:48
it hasn't been shut down by productivity, by doing, by all
19:52
the. People with all of their
19:54
thoughts. And opinions.
19:54
And their own perceptions. Projected at her yet?
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And my goal as her mom is to. Foster that.
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And we talked about how one hard night doesn't tell you
20:05
everything, but a pattern does. And about recognizing the
20:09
difference between a boss who was overwhelmed in her own
20:13
experience that night and a boss who was unkind.
20:16
And right now we don't know which one it is.
20:19
And really about not deciding from the worst moment because
20:25
everyone has a tough night. And this woman had three new
20:28
staff members, all starting on the same night.
20:31
Maybe not the best. Approach.
20:32
However, that may have been her only option and we don't know
20:36
her well enough. So give it a chance and just
20:39
observe. And for Quinn to tap into her
20:42
own judgement and be able to differentiate between
20:46
challenging moments. And we all know, like when
20:49
you're under fire, sometimes your worst traits come out and
20:54
all. I thought was she's. 14 and
20:56
she's standing outside of that pot.
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She's the frog that. Hasn't even gotten into the pot
21:01
yet and the water. Is still tepid.
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It's. Not even warm yet.
21:06
So I started. Working at 13.
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I mean I was babysitting before that but 13 is when I had my
21:11
first like. Job Job at this local fruit.
21:13
And vegetable stand that many times I.
21:17
Was left there to. Run the entire thing by myself
21:20
at 13 now. This was definitely I don't even
21:24
know what. Labor laws existed.
21:25
Then but. It was off the books, it was.
21:27
Cash under the table. Whatever.
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And nobody told me to listen to my body.
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And nobody named the signals. Nobody said, hey, the thing in
21:37
your chest, that's information, that's tightness in your throat,
21:40
that's your meter talking. And I don't fault anyone because
21:43
nobody learned this stuff or even recognized it.
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Like I said in many episodes, my parents are Silent Generation.
21:50
They are like workhorses, they just get it.
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Done so. That's what I learned.
21:55
So there wasn't a body awareness, which as a side note
21:58
is interesting because that led me in many ways, along with many
22:02
other experiences, to be tremendously dissociated and
22:06
dismissive, frankly, of my own body, which led me to going to
22:11
massage therapy school and I went to school.
22:16
With the thought of I have a touch.
22:19
Aversion. I don't want to touch people.
22:21
I don't want people touching me. But everything in my gut said.
22:25
Go here like it was. I don't even know how to
22:28
describe it. It was the most intense knowing
22:31
and. Physical pull.
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I didn't have a choice, like everything in me was directing
22:36
me there. And how fascinating looking back
22:39
20 to 21 years later. That that was.
22:42
Exactly what I needed and I spent all.
22:45
These years working. With people to heal their
22:48
relationship to their body and in doing so I came back into my
22:52
own like it's just fascinating. So also as a side note, I'm
22:56
curious if you think about what do you.
22:58
Do as a job. And how is that filling some
23:01
need in you, even if you have what may feel like a boring job?
23:06
Like a desk job. Maybe you had a childhood or an
23:09
upbringing or experiences. Experiences.
23:11
Excuse me? That led to.
23:14
A lot of instability and feeling like you had no control over the
23:18
situation or there was. A lack of.
23:20
Safety or knowing what was coming?
23:23
Maybe that's why you picked a job that is.
23:25
Stable and consistent and predictable.
23:30
Just think about it, I. Really, I would.
23:32
Love to hear in the comments if you get to this point in the.
23:34
Video what your job is and let's.
23:37
Break it down together. Because it's absolutely.
23:39
Fascinating. So I learned it the long way and
23:44
the hard. Way like 33 years of.
23:46
Building patterns slowly in my body that got.
23:50
Very. Good at pushing through.
23:52
Quinn doesn't have to learn it that way, and neither do you.
23:55
You can unlearn what you already learned.
23:57
And the cool thing with that is you can work with the next
24:00
generation. Your own children, nieces,
24:03
nephews, anyone younger. You can learn to apply that
24:07
wisdom that you developed to them.
24:10
So what does your meter feel like right now?
24:13
Like mine felt great when I woke up this morning.
24:17
Because I had. Just crashed out now Quinn came
24:19
home, crashed on the couch was like very dramatic about Oh my
24:24
God, my feet. They hurt.
24:26
I didn't. Even get to go to the.
24:27
Bathroom, it was so busy. And all she wanted was Mac and
24:32
cheese. So I made her Mac and cheese and
24:34
she curled up on the couch and she was just hugging a pillow.
24:39
And we put on a movie and honestly, I don't remember what
24:42
it was. Oh wow, I am totally spacing.
24:47
Oh, it was Jumanji the one. Oh shoot, the one with the.
24:52
Rock the 1st. One, not the second one because
24:55
we both. Knew what it was.
24:56
It was comfortable and that girl I I finished getting her food.
25:00
I lay on the couch because I was still.
25:01
Pretty fatigued. And she just finishes and she
25:04
looks at me and goes, Do you want to snuggle?
25:08
And I'm like. Hell yes I do.
25:10
And so this, you know, 5 foot 9 lanky 14 year old who normally
25:15
would be shoving away like a feral.
25:17
Cat curled up. With me and just snuggled up and
25:20
held on to her Mama and I just like wrapped around her.
25:24
I fell asleep, She tucked. Me in and turned the movie off
25:28
and went to bed. It was the sweetest moment
25:30
because her meter was maxed out. Mine was maxed.
25:33
Out SO. What does your meter feel like
25:35
right now? And I don't mean what you think
25:39
you should feel and not what you've been performing, but what
25:43
does it. Actually feel like.
25:45
And where in your body is it living?
25:47
Because like I said, I. Woke up this morning and my
25:49
meter. Was back at full.
25:51
Steam. So what did I do?
25:52
Boom, right back into work planning mode instead of slow
25:56
down and let my meter. Gradually be where?
25:59
Excuse me, but where it wants to be?
26:01
But I caught it. I caught it and I was like Nope,
26:04
I'm going to sip my coffee and I'm going to sit here.
26:07
So it's almost 8:00 and I am just getting.
26:10
To this whole episode today because.
26:12
I allowed myself to slow move, slow walk my meter.
26:16
And you don't have to fix your meter, you don't have to move
26:19
it. You just have to find it.
26:21
Like you have to acknowledge that you even have one.
26:23
And you have to. Just sit down.
26:25
You don't have to. I'm not going to tell you.
26:27
What to do? I encourage you try just.
26:29
Sitting down in the hallway in the liminal space in the not
26:33
knowing and just be with it and notice.
26:36
What is the limit on your meter? Mine is like zero to 100.
26:41
I have a huge amount of. Leeway, which is why I end up.
26:44
Pushing through and pushing through and you might be someone
26:47
that it only goes to 20 and you Max out quickly and that's OK.
26:52
The crucial point is to be able to identify your meter.
26:56
What it feels like. In your body when it's
26:58
approaching that threshold of too much and allow yourself to
27:03
slow down and allow yourself. To just be.
27:07
And learn what are the signs from your.
27:09
Body, let's say. For me, my meter goes to 100.
27:13
What are the signs when I hit about 50?
27:15
That doesn't mean stop, that just means hey, make note of
27:18
this and maybe paste it a little bit maybe.
27:21
Pause. For an hour and just.
27:24
Be. And just allow myself to lay
27:27
down for a little bit. Maybe that's the time to take
27:29
that 30 minute power nap. Or even just 30 minutes of just
27:32
laying and closing my eyes and resting.
27:35
I did that too. Yesterday it was glorious.
27:38
And if you are someone who's meter only goes up to a 20,
27:41
that's OK. Then recognize when you're
27:44
hitting A10. Whatever that feels like for
27:47
you. And give.
27:48
Yourself the space to slow it. Maybe if you're working on a
27:52
project and you can feel that 10 approaching, you can feel the
27:55
anxiety coming up. Or the pressure or the buzzing
27:59
that. Was one that I get a lot like my
28:00
body feels like it's buzzing then allow.
28:03
Yourself to get up. And go grab a.
28:05
Cup of coffee or. Just get up and stretch maybe?
28:10
Take a little bathroom break or go for a walk or.
28:14
You know, send a quick text to somebody, watch a funny cat
28:17
video or something on Tiktok. I don't know.
28:19
I don't. Have Tiktok but do.
28:22
Something to decompress the meter back down.
28:25
But you have to. Start by even recognizing you
28:27
have a meter. So if you have any questions
28:30
about this, I really didn't have a plan coming into this.
28:32
I just have been rolling with it so I don't know if it even
28:37
bounced around or made sense but.
28:39
Give it a shot. What's your meter?
28:41
Like I realized all week. I was talking about liminal
28:44
space, but you can't even recognize the liminal space
28:47
until you recognize the meter. So this.
28:49
Is really the foundation of all of it.
28:51
So like share, subscribe. Leave a comment, do all the
28:54
things, whatever, I'm really curious.
28:57
About what? Your meter limit is what job you
29:00
went into and how you ended up there.
29:03
And I seriously if you leave a comment I will break it down in
29:06
the comment with you and the whole like thread thing.
29:09
That would be. Really cool, this is one of my
29:11
favorite things and yes I am in work mode right now and as soon
29:15
as I'm done with this and get it all uploaded and processing I'm
29:19
going to go back to sipping my coffee and staring out the
29:22
window because it dropped from like 78.
29:24
Degrees yesterday to like 45 today so it is a back to a day.
29:29
Where I'm curling up under blankets before I head into
29:32
work. So have a really.
29:35
Peaceful Sunday don't even aim for great and maybe not
29:39
productive. It's Sunday.
29:40
This is the day for I call. Them Sunday drivers and my
29:43
mother calls it toodling. Just kind of meander and notice
29:47
and pause and observe and if you have.
29:50
Kids. Snuggle your damn kids.
29:52
Put the to do. List down and just listen to
29:54
what they have. To say without feedback.
29:56
Because man, the shit that comes out of their mouths is so
30:00
fascinating. And frankly, all of us.
30:03
Adults, this is just a. Total side note, all of us
30:05
adults. Wish that we were.
30:07
Seen and heard and appreciated more, especially if you had that
30:11
messaging of children are to be seen, not heard.
30:15
So listen to your kid without commentary, without feedback.
30:19
And if they tell you, if they open up and they tell you
30:21
something that they're finding difficult, even if it's
30:24
something like getting to the next level on Minecraft, I don't
30:27
know what kids are playing now, then just say to them, that
30:30
sounds really. Hard.
30:32
How are you? Getting through it?
30:33
Or do you want to just switch and do something fun and come
30:36
back to it? Don't fix it for them.
30:38
Just let them sit in it. That's another reason, people.
30:41
Avoid the hallway we. Try to fix everything for them
30:45
and then they don't recognize that it's OK to sit in the
30:47
discomfort. Wow, that one just came to me.
30:51
We got to teach. These kids emotional resilience,
30:53
but we need to learn it first ourselves.
30:56
OK, I got to stop. Processing for the day.
30:59
My meter is rapidly ratcheting up.
31:01
I will be back tomorrow morning and I don't know what we're
31:05
going to talk about. Maybe we'll get into some
31:06
emotional resilience and sitting in the discomfort.
31:10
All right. Have a good day.