Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / Are we lovers or just friends? 😕

Transcript

Are we lovers or just friends? 😕 · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apodjay production.
0:10
Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the
0:13
Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects
0:16
Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect
0:19
Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.
0:25
Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.
0:28
Speaker 3: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level
0:31
Speaker 3: up together. Let's go deep, let.
0:33
Speaker 1: The emotions flow, and find the lessons to Grow and Glow.
0:36
Speaker 1: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow and
0:38
Speaker 1: we're here to be your expander. Hello guys, welcome back
0:45
Speaker 1: to Grow and Glow. We've got a very big episode today.
0:48
Speaker 3: We do grab your popcorn and before we get into it,
0:51
Speaker 3: if you haven't yet clicked that follow. But it means
0:54
Speaker 3: the absolute world to us, So if you want to
0:56
Speaker 3: sneak down, click follow, leave us a review while you're there.
0:59
Speaker 3: It Yeah, really does mean a lot.
1:00
Speaker 1: We appreciate it so much. So today we are diving
1:04
Speaker 1: into sex again. No, but just a massive conversation around relationships.
1:10
Speaker 1: This is a hot topic. Whenever we put out questions box,
1:13
Speaker 1: this is majority of what we get asked about and
1:15
Speaker 1: we love talking about it. And there's quite a few
1:17
Speaker 1: different aspects of relationships that we're going to be covering today. Yeah,
1:21
Speaker 1: but before we get into it, the highs and the
1:22
Speaker 1: low sedato, Yes, definitely, all the in between. Yeah, some
1:26
Speaker 1: things that have changed now dynamics. Anyways, we'll get into it. Yes,
1:29
Speaker 1: what's your share of the week?
1:32
Speaker 3: My share of the Week's actually a story?
1:34
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so have I heard it?
1:36
Speaker 3: No?
1:36
Speaker 1: Oh?
1:37
Speaker 3: So you know how we've spoken before and you have
1:39
Speaker 3: been walked in before. Yes, on by tag.
1:41
Speaker 1: Yes, what are you guys doing?
1:43
Speaker 3: Yes, So we finally had the occasion arrived, which kid
1:48
Speaker 3: was a Lincoln in New Wait. It was the most
1:51
Speaker 3: innocent thing I've ever heard in my whole life. So
1:54
Speaker 3: we had like some music playing quite loudly. Kids were
1:56
Speaker 3: already asleep, so we thought that night time. You're like, okay,
1:59
Speaker 3: they're asleep, they're down.
2:01
Speaker 1: All good.
2:02
Speaker 3: Finally like had some time together. It was a well
2:05
Speaker 3: later it had you have been half an hour later
2:07
Speaker 3: because we like had our snuggles, like hung out. Anyway,
2:10
Speaker 3: music is playing and it's quite loud. You need to
2:12
Speaker 3: know this to understand the story.
2:14
Speaker 1: Curny.
2:15
Speaker 3: Obviously, both I've gotta giggle. Obviously we're both but naked. Yeah,
2:21
Speaker 3: because that's what happens when you do those things.
2:24
Speaker 1: Court is on top.
2:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like the details a thing.
2:30
Speaker 1: Oh no, what's what did he say? Why didn't you.
2:37
Speaker 3: Guys tell me you're having a dance party? What was moving.
2:46
Speaker 1: Music? Oh my goodness, you.
2:47
Speaker 3: Guys have me a dance party without me?
2:50
Speaker 1: Did he ask where you were naked?
2:51
Speaker 3: No?
2:52
Speaker 1: Just that's just normal.
2:54
Speaker 3: They do see us like a bit often. Yeah, oh
2:56
Speaker 3: my gosh. And so like in Miller was like maybe
2:58
Speaker 3: five minutes, not even behind him, so like we like,
3:01
Speaker 3: get up, but he just so oblivious, no idea. And
3:04
Speaker 3: then after that and I'm like, that is it when
3:06
Speaker 3: you get a lock on that door? So then they
3:07
Speaker 3: cannot like if you're only doing it for that amount
3:10
Speaker 3: of time.
3:11
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, but yeah it happened. And then I
3:13
Speaker 1: don't know if this is too much information, but can
3:14
Speaker 1: you get back in the mood to finish it off?
3:16
Speaker 1: For once it went yeah, good, okay, fully ruin it.
3:20
Speaker 3: But it was just like I was, I can't believe
3:21
Speaker 3: it actually finally.
3:22
Speaker 1: Had Oh that's so funny. A dance party that is?
3:25
Speaker 3: Are you so dead? Seriously? Walks. I can't believe you're
3:28
Speaker 3: having a dance party without me.
3:29
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's so funny, so funny.
3:34
Speaker 3: Oh so, what's your share of the week.
3:36
Speaker 1: Mine's really random, but everyone knows I love sweets and
3:39
Speaker 1: I love lollies. I really love lollies. And it's these
3:42
Speaker 1: healthier lollies that are out now. They're called fun Day. Oh.
3:45
Speaker 3: I love them.
3:46
Speaker 1: The ones I bought member I put them that time
3:48
Speaker 1: and you were like, Wow, these are really good. And
3:49
Speaker 1: they've got strawberries and cream. They've got Cola bottles, peach ones, snakes,
3:54
Speaker 1: gummy bears, and the strawberries and cream. I swear they
3:57
Speaker 1: are ten times better than the original ones. It's so sweeter, sweeter,
4:00
Speaker 1: and they've got fire from them. And I showed the
4:02
Speaker 1: packet to Levia. Anything that I'm unsure of, and I
4:04
Speaker 1: don't quite know the ingredients. That always show him like,
4:06
Speaker 1: what do you think about this product?
4:07
Speaker 3: This product?
4:07
Speaker 1: Because I always want the healthiest, cleanest al turned it
4:10
Speaker 1: sounds like an ad. I mean, I wish they would
4:11
Speaker 1: sponsor me. They don't. I buy them from Flatteries. But yeah,
4:16
Speaker 1: he looked at the ingredients. He was shook at how
4:18
Speaker 1: good they are. It's like I cannot believe this, Like
4:20
Speaker 1: this is so cool for kids' birthday parties that you
4:22
Speaker 1: can still have lollies. And I was like, yeah, they
4:24
Speaker 1: don't have to miss out. They're delicious. I'm fully hooked.
4:27
Speaker 1: They're so good.
4:28
Speaker 3: Hate kids all love them.
4:29
Speaker 1: I don't know how they've done it, Like the ingredients
4:31
Speaker 1: are amazing. And the guy who started I started following
4:33
Speaker 1: them on TikTok and they tell a bit of a
4:35
Speaker 1: story and it's just so cool. He was like me
4:37
Speaker 1: and just like love sweets, but hated all the sugar
4:39
Speaker 1: and crap that was in them. But they're really yummy.
4:41
Speaker 1: So you can get them from coals, I think, Woolies
4:44
Speaker 1: and Flatteries and some service stations too. Yeah, they go
4:47
Speaker 1: at Fun Day if you're listening, sponsor, gonna be on.
4:51
Speaker 3: Your pr list. They don't have any our coals and
4:53
Speaker 3: that know. But I get outs from the Chuggan markets
4:56
Speaker 3: if we got there.
4:57
Speaker 1: Gosh, they're good. They're so yeah.
4:58
Speaker 3: You got me hooked on those.
4:59
Speaker 1: So that's my share of the week.
5:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, nice, so good.
5:03
Speaker 1: All right, let's get into it. Okay, today's yeah all
5:07
Speaker 1: about relationships. Different things. We've been feeling different things we've
5:10
Speaker 1: been navigating. We've got lots of different topics we do.
5:14
Speaker 1: I don't even start, so.
5:15
Speaker 3: Let's start with a forum. We haven't touched on this
5:17
Speaker 3: on a previous episode, but for people who haven't listened
5:19
Speaker 3: to that one over on our forum, we had some
5:22
Speaker 3: girls that had written in just kind of saying that
5:25
Speaker 3: we were highlighting how different our sex lives were two theirs.
5:31
Speaker 1: And it made them feel like something's wrong with their
5:33
Speaker 1: relationship because it's not like ours, which once again we
5:36
Speaker 1: want to preface with saying, like, our sex life isn't
5:39
Speaker 1: amazing twenty four seven. We go through ebbs and flows
5:42
Speaker 1: depending on what season we're in and we're out in
5:44
Speaker 1: our cycle and what our stress levels are. Like, I
5:46
Speaker 1: feel like everyone's sex life would dip an ebb and
5:49
Speaker 1: flow all the time. But I think some people just
5:52
Speaker 1: hear one piece of the podcast or one piece of
5:54
Speaker 1: information and run with it. So we're never sitting here
5:57
Speaker 1: saying that it's just perfect and amazing and easy all
6:00
Speaker 1: the time. But yeah, there was a couple of comments
6:02
Speaker 1: from women about these topics.
6:04
Speaker 3: And also like, I do feel like the last couple
6:07
Speaker 3: of years since our kids when they were like sleeping
6:10
Speaker 3: really well and all that we were in a really
6:11
Speaker 3: good role, doing really good, amazing, and I was celebrating
6:14
Speaker 3: that because, like we've had years when you first have
6:16
Speaker 3: newborns fire out, like it goes out the window, like
6:19
Speaker 3: it doesn't happen. We've always been honest and open about that.
6:22
Speaker 3: But anyways, I've started fall back into the trenches a
6:25
Speaker 3: little bit, and I was like, this is the perfect
6:26
Speaker 3: time for me to talk about the season that I'm
6:28
Speaker 3: in right now and how things aren't hot and steamy
6:32
Speaker 3: and what they normally like, and just kind of delve
6:33
Speaker 3: into talking about how we're feeling and how we're kind
6:36
Speaker 3: of navigating this season.
6:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, as it does change so much, and as you
6:41
Speaker 1: guys know, on this podcast, we don't just share the highlights.
6:44
Speaker 1: We share the ups and downs, the lessons and all
6:46
Speaker 1: in between. So, yeah, tell us about your season and
6:49
Speaker 1: your sexy time the horserat.
6:53
Speaker 3: Okay, So I firstly want to start off by saying
6:56
Speaker 3: I'm not asking for advice, because I feel like whenever
6:58
Speaker 3: I talk about kids sleep, which is another bit of
7:01
Speaker 3: a hot topic.
7:01
Speaker 1: And everyone comes through with like good intentions, but overwhelming can.
7:05
Speaker 3: Be very overwhelmed.
7:06
Speaker 1: You tried everything.
7:07
Speaker 3: It's been going on for months now. We have tried
7:09
Speaker 3: so many things, and we have just kind of accepted now,
7:12
Speaker 3: like this is the season that we are in. So
7:15
Speaker 3: Miller and Lincoln are relatively good sleepers normally. However, they've
7:20
Speaker 3: gotten really really scared of storms and now they're even
7:23
Speaker 3: getting afraid. If it starts to rain, they will wake
7:25
Speaker 3: up and get scared and come up to you guys,
7:27
Speaker 3: and come up to us. And if your kids are
7:30
Speaker 3: scared at night, you can't just be like just we
7:32
Speaker 3: don't want to we don't want to be like, oh,
7:34
Speaker 3: just get over it, right, Like they're scared, they're wanting
7:37
Speaker 3: us to care them. Yeah, And then the same thing
7:39
Speaker 3: is happening as well with Reagan. Riegan's a little bit
7:44
Speaker 3: of a different kettle of fish. She's got a few
7:46
Speaker 3: things going on for a little honey she does. So, yeah,
7:49
Speaker 3: Miller and Link are usually pretty good, but there is
7:51
Speaker 3: like lately, you'll know, there's been so many storms, so
7:55
Speaker 3: much rain, so much rain. So it's like last week
7:58
Speaker 3: even there was like four days in a row where
8:00
Speaker 3: there was like pretty heavy rain, and like Paul Links terrified,
8:03
Speaker 3: and once one of them is up, they are both
8:04
Speaker 3: up and one of us will have to go down
8:06
Speaker 3: lay with them to they fall back of sleep or
8:08
Speaker 3: until the storm stops, and then head back upstairs. So
8:11
Speaker 3: that's just kind of been our reality at the moment.
8:12
Speaker 3: And then Regi girl, it's nearly like it's become a
8:15
Speaker 3: habit now because she will just wake up like around
8:18
Speaker 3: that two thirty mark normally most nights and just come
8:21
Speaker 3: up and jump in bed next to me, and she's scared,
8:24
Speaker 3: and then I'm having to go down with her. And
8:25
Speaker 3: also she's needing me to lay next to her when
8:29
Speaker 3: she falls asleep at night. So there's all those pockets
8:31
Speaker 3: of time, like when we first got the kids down
8:34
Speaker 3: to sleep at you know, seven o'clock, you're like, sweet,
8:37
Speaker 3: we've got from seven till nine to came out together
8:40
Speaker 3: and we haven't had that.
8:41
Speaker 1: Now do the deed?
8:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, even just to like connect, Like I feel like
8:46
Speaker 3: I fucking miss my husband so much right now. I
8:50
Speaker 3: miss him and you forget sometimes when you are in
8:55
Speaker 3: those really great seasons, how hard it can be to
8:59
Speaker 3: like want someone and want to spend time with them
9:02
Speaker 3: but not actually having and they're there and not what
9:05
Speaker 3: do they say passing ships in the night like that's
9:07
Speaker 3: where you feel like you're just passing each other but
9:09
Speaker 3: you're not got those moments sometimes to actually connect. And yeah,
9:14
Speaker 3: it's been really hard because, like I said, that time
9:17
Speaker 3: of the night, those two hours now, one of us
9:19
Speaker 3: is with Reagan. Sometimes if it's raining, one of us
9:21
Speaker 3: is in with the other two kids. Like I've fallen
9:23
Speaker 3: asleep in Reagan's bed like twice during the night and
9:26
Speaker 3: then like waken up at midnight, like fuck, I want
9:28
Speaker 3: to go because like I love cuddles at night, like
9:30
Speaker 3: Kurt and I literally cuddle and spoon, and like, yeah,
9:33
Speaker 3: it's just really been a season for us of like
9:35
Speaker 3: obviously sex is very difficult for us to find time
9:38
Speaker 3: to do that now, and even when we do, it's
9:41
Speaker 3: not that passionate, amazing, connecting, slow, central, long lasting sex.
9:47
Speaker 3: It's like, hurry the fuck up. We're both feeling like
9:49
Speaker 3: we want this kids, Like kids might come up like
9:52
Speaker 3: let's try to get a bit. We're so rush and
9:55
Speaker 3: like even sometimes they're like happy watching a show, We're
9:57
Speaker 3: like should we just like run up, like just so
9:58
Speaker 3: we can actually.
9:59
Speaker 1: Everyone knows that's our lunchtime sex on the weekend, tiles
10:02
Speaker 1: down in the bedroom, so you're still feeling satis because
10:05
Speaker 1: we both want each other.
10:06
Speaker 3: We're both wanting that connection, but it's just like finding
10:08
Speaker 3: the time to actually do it. And that's what I
10:11
Speaker 3: said to Ashley. I said, it's not that good sex though.
10:14
Speaker 3: It's not that sex where you're like actually like loving
10:16
Speaker 3: on each other and even like the sex aside, just
10:20
Speaker 3: the time for us to have to cuddle and just
10:24
Speaker 3: chat chat without having an interrupted conversation. Kur might start
10:28
Speaker 3: to say something to me and then I go to
10:30
Speaker 3: bed that night and like he's asleep and I'm like, fuck,
10:32
Speaker 3: I really want to talk to me about that today,
10:34
Speaker 3: and it's just gone, like it's not there anymore. And yeah,
10:37
Speaker 3: I think as well. Some people might see our lives
10:39
Speaker 3: and think like they're together so much. We are, but
10:42
Speaker 3: we both have a business is to run. He looks
10:45
Speaker 3: after everything love Ella stros now. So that's all on him,
10:48
Speaker 3: all the back end, every single thing, the supplies.
10:51
Speaker 1: He does it all huge job.
10:52
Speaker 3: Huge job. But Instagram then I've got like grow and
10:56
Speaker 3: glow my content creation, my YouTube editing. Like we don't
10:59
Speaker 3: actually get time together, and when we do a lot
11:03
Speaker 3: of the time it might be talking about work or
11:06
Speaker 3: the kids are around like we have really only got
11:08
Speaker 3: a daycare two days a week, so it's been a
11:10
Speaker 3: season for us. And I said to Ash you like
11:13
Speaker 3: I should really talk about this because like we haven't
11:15
Speaker 3: been even Kat said to me before I came up here,
11:17
Speaker 3: He goes, I have never been the sleep deprived, even
11:20
Speaker 3: in all the years of us having newborn.
11:22
Speaker 1: Even that in itself, when you're sleep deprived and tied,
11:25
Speaker 1: sometimes you don't have energy to have sex or like
11:28
Speaker 1: you said, really good quality sex. You want it for
11:30
Speaker 1: the connection and because it feels amazing and you know
11:32
Speaker 1: you both enjoy it. But when you're tired, it's just
11:34
Speaker 1: like never as good. That's it, that layer of just
11:37
Speaker 1: like being sleep deprived, let alone the time to find
11:40
Speaker 1: to do it. Yeah, no, wonder you guys are in
11:42
Speaker 1: that season.
11:42
Speaker 3: And like we were saying when we're talking about this
11:45
Speaker 3: yesterday as well, like as she was like, when you
11:47
Speaker 3: have a newborn as well, you're prepared for that.
11:49
Speaker 1: And your body is supporting you with the hormones to
11:51
Speaker 1: be up at night, whereas when they're older you're not
11:54
Speaker 1: used to it. You've got three children now.
11:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, and when you have a newborn, you've pulled back
11:59
Speaker 3: on everything else. You go, Okay, newborn is coming, I
12:02
Speaker 3: have time off work, I have this, I have that. Honestly, guys,
12:05
Speaker 3: the nights is so unpredictable. Like even the night before
12:07
Speaker 3: I came up here, I had like an hour and
12:10
Speaker 3: twenty minutes until midnight, and then after midnight I got
12:13
Speaker 3: like another forty five minutes. This is just up and
12:16
Speaker 3: down between all three kids because that was a storm
12:18
Speaker 3: as well. And then I got three solid hours sleep,
12:20
Speaker 3: but Kurt didn't get it. So Kurt had like the
12:22
Speaker 3: absolute He probably only had I don't know, two hours
12:24
Speaker 3: of sleep that whole night.
12:25
Speaker 1: And now you guys are getting the sleep anxiety before
12:27
Speaker 1: you go to bed, so you're probably not missing out
12:29
Speaker 1: on sleep then, and your body's in that fight or
12:30
Speaker 1: flags you're almost expecting to get.
12:32
Speaker 3: Up definitely, And because it is like every night, might
12:34
Speaker 3: get one night a week when we're not being interrupted,
12:37
Speaker 3: we're going upstairs and like we want to connect, we
12:38
Speaker 3: want to have time together.
12:39
Speaker 1: Because sleeping exhausted and you want to try and get
12:42
Speaker 1: the sleep where you can.
12:43
Speaker 3: I just want to sleep. And also because normally the
12:45
Speaker 3: wake ups are like later, if they're gonna happen, it's
12:48
Speaker 3: around two am most of the time if it's a
12:50
Speaker 3: good night. So it's like, if I can get that
12:52
Speaker 3: solid sleep early, I'm going to try to get it.
12:55
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's been tough, and like Kurt and I
12:58
Speaker 3: just like keep looking at each other throughout the day
12:59
Speaker 3: and we're like, fuck, I miss you. Yeah, like we're
13:02
Speaker 3: having those moments and yeah, like I said, I don't
13:05
Speaker 3: feel like we've been this bad for many, many.
13:08
Speaker 1: Years, which is amazing to be able to say that.
13:11
Speaker 1: Yeahs like EBB and flow a lot more frequent than that,
13:13
Speaker 1: So that's really good.
13:15
Speaker 3: Well, I think because the kids were always all right
13:16
Speaker 3: sleepers before then, and you can't faces and stuff, so
13:20
Speaker 3: you can always know you had that window at night
13:22
Speaker 3: when they would go, even if it's an hour. You're like, you, beauty,
13:25
Speaker 3: we've got that hour and we can spend it together.
13:27
Speaker 3: And like we have days where we look forward to
13:29
Speaker 3: that so much.
13:30
Speaker 1: Gosh, it's like the highlight of my day to spend
13:32
Speaker 1: time with my husband at night. I know, like I
13:34
Speaker 1: love my children, I love the afternoons we have as
13:36
Speaker 1: a family, and like I love it. There's not many
13:38
Speaker 1: times where I'm like, oh, when's bedtime? And I missed
13:41
Speaker 1: the kids when they go to bed. But I'm also
13:42
Speaker 1: so excited for that like one hour solid quality time
13:45
Speaker 1: to catch up, chat, watch a show, have sex, whatever,
13:48
Speaker 1: just that time together because during the day, like when
13:50
Speaker 1: you have children and you're running a business, isn't really
13:52
Speaker 1: a lot of spare time.
13:54
Speaker 3: No, And then also like they're really wanting, like especially
13:58
Speaker 3: re and really wanting Mummy at the moment. So even
14:01
Speaker 3: the thought of like say, if we have like someone
14:03
Speaker 3: else there and we do go and do something, because
14:06
Speaker 3: if I went and did something right now, it wouldn't
14:08
Speaker 3: be going out for dinner, because that's just gonna set
14:10
Speaker 3: me up to have a late night. I'd want to
14:11
Speaker 3: go stay somewhere. But then she wakes up the night
14:14
Speaker 3: even if I'm not there, she's like to Kurt.
14:16
Speaker 1: Like I want mom.
14:17
Speaker 3: Like if I'm in with the other two kids or something,
14:19
Speaker 3: we have to switch over. So I know I'm saying
14:22
Speaker 3: all this, and I know it's not going to last.
14:25
Speaker 3: I know this is a season, and I know I've
14:26
Speaker 3: got to look back on this in you know, however
14:28
Speaker 3: long it fucking takes. Yeah, because it has been going
14:31
Speaker 3: on longer than I kind of expected. But I thought
14:33
Speaker 3: it was at its worst. I feel like when I
14:35
Speaker 3: spoke about a couple months ago, this is at its worst.
14:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, this is.
14:38
Speaker 3: Definitely taking the cake at the moment. But I do
14:41
Speaker 3: know as well, there's a lot of other women with
14:43
Speaker 3: kids similar age to Reigs that's kind of going through
14:46
Speaker 3: similar things. So if you've got a three year old
14:48
Speaker 3: and your sleep has turned to absolute shit, you're right
14:51
Speaker 3: there with Yeah, I'm there with your sister.
14:53
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, being exhausted and then yeah, sleeps everything. It's
14:58
Speaker 1: the foundation for everything. Yeah, it's literally used to be
15:01
Speaker 1: used as a form of torture back in the day.
15:03
Speaker 3: You can understand what. Yeah, it feels like fu torture.
15:05
Speaker 1: You don't have the energy, the capacity, the mental space
15:09
Speaker 1: to be able to do anything, let alone have a
15:11
Speaker 1: really beautiful love making session. So it makes a lot
15:14
Speaker 1: of sense. Yeah. Something that I want to talk about
15:18
Speaker 1: was the polarity shift between Steve and I, And something
15:21
Speaker 1: I've really noticed in a really positive, beautiful way is
15:24
Speaker 1: me stepping back from work a little bit, I've been
15:26
Speaker 1: able to tap more back into my feminine energy and
15:29
Speaker 1: more flowy and it feels really nice. Men, I didn't
15:31
Speaker 1: really realize how out of balance we were and I
15:34
Speaker 1: just want to say, whenever I talk about masculine femine energy,
15:37
Speaker 1: I get a lot of pushback online because I think
15:38
Speaker 1: people think you have to be wanet all the other.
15:40
Speaker 1: But both energies are very important. It's really important for
15:43
Speaker 1: you to embody and honor both of them when need be.
15:45
Speaker 1: I'm in my masculine at work and I need to
15:47
Speaker 1: be to get shit done. I've got goals, I've got deadlines,
15:50
Speaker 1: I've got a team to manage. And love that side
15:52
Speaker 1: of me and it served me for so long. But
15:53
Speaker 1: I've been running in my masculine for so long and
15:56
Speaker 1: neglecting my feminine energy that I haven't felt as good
15:58
Speaker 1: and alive and flowy. And at your core, you were
16:01
Speaker 1: going to be more feminine or more masculine, and I'm
16:05
Speaker 1: definitely more feminine. So since I've pulled back from work
16:08
Speaker 1: and I've been leaning more into my feminine energy, and
16:11
Speaker 1: what feels good for me as a feminine is I
16:13
Speaker 1: love taking care of the household. And I know that
16:15
Speaker 1: once again, I get a lot of pushback from people,
16:17
Speaker 1: but for me, that does feel feminine. Taking care of
16:19
Speaker 1: my family and cleaning and cooking and just on the
16:23
Speaker 1: Thursdays that I even have with Tyler, Like, this is
16:24
Speaker 1: where I've noticed the biggest difference is just not being
16:27
Speaker 1: on a time limit, and that is so flowy, Like
16:29
Speaker 1: I just feel so calm and present and flowy, and
16:32
Speaker 1: I feel like that energy When Steve comes home, it
16:36
Speaker 1: really like felt good in our intimate relationship. The house
16:39
Speaker 1: is all clean, I've made dinner, I've meal prepped him
16:41
Speaker 1: the next day, and I'm in a really calm, beautiful
16:44
Speaker 1: energy and I get to like bring that overflow to
16:46
Speaker 1: him when he comes home from work. Where is when
16:48
Speaker 1: we're both in our masculine and we've both worked out freakin'
16:51
Speaker 1: asses off all day and they were both coming home
16:53
Speaker 1: to clean and cook and do all the stuff, it
16:56
Speaker 1: just didn't feel as good. And it's really nice to
16:58
Speaker 1: see that shift. And I didn't realize because I didn't
17:00
Speaker 1: feel like anything was wrong beforehand. We weren't arguing and
17:04
Speaker 1: there wasn't anything like no bad energy in both of
17:06
Speaker 1: us being more around masculine. But now I've felt that shift,
17:10
Speaker 1: I'm like, holy moly, this feels nice. And I said
17:12
Speaker 1: to him, is this nice for you to come home
17:14
Speaker 1: to a clean home and your meal cooked and everything?
17:16
Speaker 1: He's like it's beautiful and I would never expect any
17:19
Speaker 1: of that, but it does feel really nice. And we're
17:21
Speaker 1: not stuck on the old school way of gender specific
17:24
Speaker 1: roles like she cooks and cleans and I work. Like
17:26
Speaker 1: we're very I don't want to say fifty to fifty.
17:28
Speaker 1: We're just a very good team. Sometimes I'm eighty, he's twenty,
17:31
Speaker 1: and I feel like that's actually important conversation to bring up.
17:33
Speaker 1: As well. He's been so supportive for me this last period.
17:36
Speaker 1: I feel like I've been more running in a twenty
17:38
Speaker 1: or thirty percent, like don't have a lot of energy,
17:41
Speaker 1: just a lot more lower vibe, just navigating a lot
17:43
Speaker 1: of emotions and changes in my life and the health
17:46
Speaker 1: scare I had with my aneurysm. He's really picked up
17:49
Speaker 1: the load with so many things. We actually communicate that
17:51
Speaker 1: a lot of the time, like if someone's come home
17:53
Speaker 1: and he'll be like ough, I'm zongd like I'm tapped out.
17:56
Speaker 1: I'm like cool, I feel really good so old, cook, clean,
17:58
Speaker 1: do everything, and I'll be like, you know, go lay down,
18:00
Speaker 1: I go for a walk or whatever, and vice versa.
18:02
Speaker 1: Really just help and support each other like that, and
18:04
Speaker 1: I feel like when he's there's masculine, I'm more in
18:06
Speaker 1: my feminine. It just flows better together. Yeah, that's been
18:09
Speaker 1: such a nice shift. So I wanted to share this
18:13
Speaker 1: because I didn't realize how much I was in my
18:15
Speaker 1: masculine and tool this shift. So it's cool for you
18:18
Speaker 1: guys listening to just check in and what are you
18:21
Speaker 1: at your core and where are you neglecting that and
18:24
Speaker 1: how could you invite some more of that like yummy
18:27
Speaker 1: energy that feels good for you naturally, and sometimes even
18:31
Speaker 1: listening you might be like, I don't fucking know, and
18:33
Speaker 1: that goes to show how out of touch you are
18:35
Speaker 1: with where you're sitting at. So it's a really good
18:38
Speaker 1: reflection and something i'd love everyone and bite you all
18:41
Speaker 1: to reflect on and see where you can make some changes. Yeah.
18:44
Speaker 3: I noticed too, when I'm really in my masculine, Kurt
18:49
Speaker 3: starts to go really into his fem exactly what happens, Yeah, yep,
18:53
Speaker 3: And then I'm like oh, and I'm like, hang on
18:55
Speaker 3: a second. So yeah, this last year is well, we've
18:57
Speaker 3: changed a lot of roles and it just feels so
19:00
Speaker 3: well aligned.
19:01
Speaker 1: To exactly what you said. That happens and then it
19:03
Speaker 1: ruins the sexual polarity, and you wonder why little things
19:07
Speaker 1: that they do are turning you off or it's just
19:09
Speaker 1: like an ick. Whereas when they're strong in their core energy,
19:13
Speaker 1: whether that is masculine or feminine, whatever that is, you're
19:16
Speaker 1: so much more drawn to them because they're confident, they're
19:19
Speaker 1: standing what feels good for them, and they're doing the
19:21
Speaker 1: things they're good at and they feel good at, and
19:23
Speaker 1: vice versa. So that polarity and that attraction is just like, yeah,
19:27
Speaker 1: do something with my hands. Like you're drawn together, You're
19:30
Speaker 1: you know, you're a magnetized magnetized Yeah, this is what
19:33
Speaker 1: this is. The type of thing is together it is.
19:36
Speaker 1: It's like a magnet. You're more drawn to each other.
19:38
Speaker 1: That naturally happens when that polarity is beautifully balanced in
19:42
Speaker 1: the right energy.
19:43
Speaker 3: So true. And yeah, when I'm fully masculine as well,
19:46
Speaker 3: i can't even tell it where he looks at me.
19:48
Speaker 3: I'm like, you're not feeling me right now, Like especially
19:50
Speaker 3: if work is done for the day and I'm like
19:52
Speaker 3: stressing out things blah blah blah. But then when I'm
19:54
Speaker 3: like like I'm gonna go do my nails, like oh,
19:57
Speaker 3: bath the kids and just reel flowy and going.
20:01
Speaker 1: Else I've noticed too, is like I'm singing and dancing
20:04
Speaker 1: and just being I don't know, just it is flowy.
20:07
Speaker 1: Such a beautiful word. And when I think of the
20:09
Speaker 1: word feminine, I mean one person I think of is
20:12
Speaker 1: my beautiful girlfriend, Megsie. She's so feminine and she is
20:15
Speaker 1: the most flowy, go with the flow, like unstructured, non
20:19
Speaker 1: routine person. And even when you go to her house,
20:21
Speaker 1: she's always in the flowy dress and like her hair's out.
20:24
Speaker 1: And once again, that doesn't mean if you don't do
20:27
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean you're not feminine. But these are the
20:28
Speaker 1: things that she does that makes her feel feminine. She
20:31
Speaker 1: at night, you know, it's getting in the robe, it's
20:34
Speaker 1: rubbing the moisture car rising creams on. It's light in
20:36
Speaker 1: the candles, it's having moody music. She has all these
20:38
Speaker 1: little things that I've learned to do for myself too,
20:41
Speaker 1: that just keeps her in that feminine energy for longer.
20:44
Speaker 1: It's not once a month go to a dance class,
20:46
Speaker 1: which I love going to dance class, and that definitely
20:48
Speaker 1: fills up my feminine cup. I feel so sexy and
20:51
Speaker 1: flowy and is flow with your body. But it's like,
20:53
Speaker 1: how do you bring in more of that energy things
20:56
Speaker 1: every single day? One percent every single day. That's three
21:00
Speaker 1: hundred and sixty five percent improvement over a year. Yeah,
21:03
Speaker 1: that adds up, and that the more you practice it,
21:05
Speaker 1: the more it just becomes a part of who you
21:07
Speaker 1: are and you don't have to consciously think about it.
21:09
Speaker 1: The goal is to unconsciously just do that stuff, right. Yeah,
21:13
Speaker 1: but if you're not doing it now what we have
21:15
Speaker 1: to do to start something. It's like a healthy food
21:17
Speaker 1: journey or excise unit. You have to consciously implement these
21:20
Speaker 1: habits until you unconsciously just do it.
21:23
Speaker 3: What do they say six weeks to create a new habit?
21:25
Speaker 1: Hey, and everyone's different. I don't love those like twenty
21:27
Speaker 1: one days for a new habits six weeks. I feel
21:29
Speaker 1: like everyone's really different depending on how long they've been
21:32
Speaker 1: in a habit for. So try not put a timeline
21:35
Speaker 1: on it.
21:35
Speaker 3: But I think minimum six weeks because if you start
21:38
Speaker 3: trying to pick something up, it's not going to become
21:40
Speaker 3: in your you know less, you're passing it for a
21:43
Speaker 3: minimum solid amount of time.
21:44
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. So yeah, it's been really really nice,
21:48
Speaker 1: And like I said, when I gave you guys my
21:50
Speaker 1: health update, even though it's a really really hard week
21:53
Speaker 1: and a lot to process, and you know, I've got
21:55
Speaker 1: to get these check ups to the rest of my life. Now.
21:57
Speaker 1: I'm so glad all of that happened because there's been
21:59
Speaker 1: so many changes in my work life, in my personal life,
22:03
Speaker 1: in my body, in my energy, how I'm sure up.
22:05
Speaker 1: So it's like your relationship in my relationships just so beautiful,
22:10
Speaker 1: so nice, And it's crazy when you've been with your
22:12
Speaker 1: partner for like we're the same sixteen years we've both
22:14
Speaker 1: been with our partner, you really do get to know
22:17
Speaker 1: so many versions of that person and you grow so much.
22:20
Speaker 1: They grow so much, you grow as a couple, and
22:22
Speaker 1: there is ebbs and flows where you're like navigating different things.
22:26
Speaker 1: But I don't know about you, but I just feel
22:27
Speaker 1: like the longer you're with them, the deeper the connection
22:31
Speaker 1: because it is all that stuff that you're just so
22:33
Speaker 1: proud of them for what they've overcome and what they've
22:35
Speaker 1: grown through and who they are now can just see
22:38
Speaker 1: all those parts and you're like, I'm so proud of you.
22:40
Speaker 1: But also it's a mirror reflection because I see what
22:43
Speaker 1: Steve's done, and I'm like, I've also done that work
22:45
Speaker 1: with him and it's this beautiful like picture it like
22:47
Speaker 1: a dance that you're doing with them. You're constantly intertwining
22:51
Speaker 1: and twisting and turning together, but it's so beautiful, so beautiful.
22:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like this whole trip, this time up
22:57
Speaker 3: here at Brisbane. We have just been loving on our
23:00
Speaker 3: husbands to each other.
23:01
Speaker 1: Like last night, I was like, how credible we both
23:04
Speaker 1: called our and I was like, how incredible are our
23:06
Speaker 1: husbands are just so supportive and so loving and I'm
23:10
Speaker 1: so grateful, so grateful.
23:12
Speaker 3: And even like with Reagan, I said to Ashy, I
23:14
Speaker 3: was like, oh fuck, I feel like bad and weird
23:16
Speaker 3: about like Reagan and like got a message to the
23:18
Speaker 3: sat down about to start recording and it's like, don't worry, babe,
23:20
Speaker 3: I've got it. Like you're like your time.
23:23
Speaker 1: Yes.
23:23
Speaker 3: It was like that's who I need, Like.
23:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, you feel so safe and like just support it
23:29
Speaker 1: and held even though he's tired. He's like, I've got this, babe,
23:32
Speaker 1: you go do it.
23:32
Speaker 3: Just gave me so much confidence and made me not
23:34
Speaker 3: feel like any guilt about leaving him when he's not
23:38
Speaker 3: saving and he's exhausted.
23:40
Speaker 1: Both so good like that.
23:41
Speaker 3: And even Steve, like you watch and he's like kissing
23:43
Speaker 3: her while she's having a battle.
23:44
Speaker 1: At the so beautiful, So nice, But it's also once again,
23:49
Speaker 1: like we were talking this morning about some really hard
23:50
Speaker 1: times we went through when we were younger, with both
23:53
Speaker 1: of out men having some really bad stages with like
23:55
Speaker 1: just drinking lots and just different yucky stages have been
23:58
Speaker 1: through like this hasn't always been like this, And I
24:01
Speaker 1: don't like it when people say, oh, you're so lucky.
24:04
Speaker 1: I feel very black, don't get me wrong, but like
24:06
Speaker 1: a relationship with depth and understanding and a level of
24:10
Speaker 1: love that we have and gratitude for them. That's taken
24:12
Speaker 1: a lot of work. It's taken a lot of self
24:15
Speaker 1: awareness from us and from them and working together and
24:19
Speaker 1: having hard, uncomfortable conversations and holding space for that person
24:24
Speaker 1: and compromise. That's all relationships, right. I feel like friendships,
24:28
Speaker 1: intimate relationships, it's not something that comes easy. No, it's
24:33
Speaker 1: not so fucking worth it if you put that work in.
24:36
Speaker 1: I feel like we've never been in the dating scene
24:38
Speaker 1: where it's like the Tinder and swipe left or right.
24:40
Speaker 1: But I feel like a lot of relationships these days.
24:42
Speaker 1: They give up when things start to get hard. And
24:44
Speaker 1: for sure, if something's not feeling right and you feel
24:46
Speaker 1: you're on different paths, definitely, Like you know, some relationships
24:49
Speaker 1: aren't meant to be forever. And that's so fine. I
24:51
Speaker 1: believe we have lots of soul mates. But it's so
24:54
Speaker 1: easy for people to just swipe left and right and
24:56
Speaker 1: think that the grass is greener. But if you can
24:58
Speaker 1: really water the grass that you're on now and nurture
25:01
Speaker 1: that relationship and put the work and put the time,
25:03
Speaker 1: put the energy, I feel like it will flyw I definitely,
25:06
Speaker 1: but both parties have to be prepared to the work.
25:07
Speaker 1: That's it. If one's not, then you're gonna go around
25:10
Speaker 1: completely different directions and.
25:11
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna last.
25:12
Speaker 1: Nope.
25:13
Speaker 3: Something else that's happened as well these last few weeks,
25:15
Speaker 3: which I haven't really spoken about yet online. I haven't
25:18
Speaker 3: even sad anything about on Instagram. But Kurt went last
25:21
Speaker 3: year and got a skin check done, we both did,
25:24
Speaker 3: and he ended up getting a referral to go and
25:27
Speaker 3: get a second opinion on his lips. He's struggled a
25:30
Speaker 3: lot with them throughout the years because he was young
25:32
Speaker 3: out in the sun a lot, surfing in the salt water,
25:36
Speaker 3: and his lips just copped a lot of damage. So anyways,
25:40
Speaker 3: he finally went and got the check up done, and yeah,
25:44
Speaker 3: his lips were not in great shape. They said in
25:47
Speaker 3: another couple of years if he left it, it would
25:49
Speaker 3: probably be the start of becoming cancerous, which is pretty scary,
25:52
Speaker 3: but also so glad that he went and got it
25:54
Speaker 3: looked at. And we're taking the steps to manage all
25:57
Speaker 3: of that and you know, try to do what we can.
25:59
Speaker 3: But he straight away those one sun spot and once
26:02
Speaker 3: what where He's like, I'm not even letting you walk
26:03
Speaker 3: out of here with that. He's like, I'm burning this
26:05
Speaker 3: right now.
26:06
Speaker 1: So he had to get this massive.
26:08
Speaker 3: Burn done on his lip and his whole lip, like
26:12
Speaker 3: I've showed it ashy photos.
26:13
Speaker 1: That's a big blood blister.
26:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then it popped and it's been weeping, so
26:18
Speaker 3: we haven't been able to kiss. Oh that's tough, I know.
26:20
Speaker 3: And then now he's also got to go back again
26:23
Speaker 3: to get the whole entire bottom lip blazered as well.
26:27
Speaker 3: So yeah, that was like a really big deep burn.
26:30
Speaker 3: But then he's got it the whole lip done. So
26:32
Speaker 3: that's kind of just been another thing that's been thrown
26:34
Speaker 3: into the mix as well, because I feel like that's
26:36
Speaker 3: such a beautiful way to canags.
26:38
Speaker 1: Yeah.
26:39
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's been like the foreplay, I've been doing
26:42
Speaker 3: like the side kisses because I'm trying to avoid that side.
26:45
Speaker 3: But obviously it's so painful for him, like getting the
26:48
Speaker 3: actual burn done. He was like it was so effing painful,
26:51
Speaker 3: and the aftermath is like it was awful ulco or something.
26:55
Speaker 3: They're like how sensitive and sore. Yeah, but also this
26:59
Speaker 3: is your reminder if you need to get a skin
27:00
Speaker 3: check done.
27:02
Speaker 1: Yeah.
27:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was my first I'm ever getting a skin
27:04
Speaker 3: check yea, yeah I do want Yeah, yeah, definitely.
27:08
Speaker 1: And Steve's about to go away to Japan for nine days.
27:11
Speaker 1: I know nine days. Wow, that's the longest he's been
27:14
Speaker 1: away from us for so long, and longest he's been
27:17
Speaker 1: away from obviously the kids. Yeah, I'm so excited for him, Like,
27:20
Speaker 1: because we've both been to Japan, I just wasn't keen
27:22
Speaker 1: to go back, like I liked it. I'm glad I
27:24
Speaker 1: got to take it off, but it's not a country
27:25
Speaker 1: that I'm like, oh, I can't wait to go back,
27:28
Speaker 1: but he really loved it and wanted to explore more
27:30
Speaker 1: parts of it. So I was like, oh, we should
27:31
Speaker 1: go with a friend, like definitely tick it off. So
27:34
Speaker 1: he's going over. They got really cheap flights and he's
27:36
Speaker 1: super excited. But yeah, I was saying to Kiara, like,
27:38
Speaker 1: I feel like, I hope this doesn't come across the
27:40
Speaker 1: wrong way, but it's just how I feel. I'm not
27:43
Speaker 1: codependent on Steve at all. I'm very independent and I'm
27:46
Speaker 1: with him because I want to be with him, not
27:47
Speaker 1: because I need to be with him for the first
27:49
Speaker 1: time in so long, just because I've been having a
27:50
Speaker 1: really tough time. I really feel like I need him
27:52
Speaker 1: at the moment, like I need him around. He's just
27:54
Speaker 1: holding such a nice space in me and just therefore
27:56
Speaker 1: my tears full and when I'm not feeling great or
27:58
Speaker 1: when I'm feeling tired. So I'm a little bit like.
28:01
Speaker 3: He's such an incredible emotional support for you. He's been
28:03
Speaker 3: like a solid rock.
28:06
Speaker 1: Every single day that I've just whatever I've needed is
28:09
Speaker 1: just been there for me. Some a little bit like
28:11
Speaker 1: nervous for him to go away, Like I know I
28:12
Speaker 1: can handle it, but I'm just gonna miss him so
28:15
Speaker 1: fucking March and there was a freaking tsunami warning in Japan.
28:20
Speaker 1: There was an earthquake in Taiwan. They like cleared a
28:23
Speaker 1: lot of the beaches in this one particular part of Japan.
28:25
Speaker 1: But I was like, oh my gosh, keeping on. So
28:28
Speaker 1: but I was like, wouldn't be mad if you didn't go,
28:31
Speaker 1: But no, I'm really excited. We both want to make
28:33
Speaker 1: sure that we can still like tick the things off
28:35
Speaker 1: that we want to do, and I'm so glad we
28:36
Speaker 1: can support each other and that stuff. So, yeah, he's
28:39
Speaker 1: gonna have a good trip, but I'm gonna fucking miss him. Yeah.
28:41
Speaker 1: I feel like I'll be calling him all the time.
28:43
Speaker 1: I miss you. Yeah.
28:45
Speaker 3: Yeah. Actually this morning, I was like, what's so long
28:47
Speaker 3: as you guys have been a past it's having kids,
28:49
Speaker 3: And she's like, this will be it.
28:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, it it's a long time. So before kids, we
28:55
Speaker 1: used to go on like lots of trips together, and
28:57
Speaker 1: I used to go on quite a few trips with
28:58
Speaker 1: my girlfriends, like to American stuff. But yeah, we haven't
29:01
Speaker 1: been away from each other for this long, and he
29:03
Speaker 1: hasn't been away from the kids for this long. I
29:05
Speaker 1: did five nights in balley with mom last year. That
29:08
Speaker 1: was the longest I've been away from my kids since
29:10
Speaker 1: we've had Tala. Yeah, nine days is a long time,
29:13
Speaker 1: so long time they go for FaceTime though. Honestly, like
29:15
Speaker 1: even my mom doesn't see my kids often, but Tla
29:18
Speaker 1: and her face time like probably every second day, and
29:20
Speaker 1: when she pops up on the phone, she's like Mady
29:22
Speaker 1: mad me, like she knows who she is. So face
29:25
Speaker 1: time is beautiful that you can stay connected like that.
29:27
Speaker 3: So good.
29:28
Speaker 1: Yeah. PS, you're always one decision away from a totally
29:33
Speaker 1: new or different life. Don't forget the power that you hold. That.
29:38
Speaker 3: Ps, you look so good when you don't give a fuck.
29:42
Speaker 2: I love that.
29:44
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us, guys. Thanks bye,