Latest / The Daily Sarcast / November 4th, 2026: Election Results, Google's Rules For Schools And Thoughts On The Ballot
Transcript
- 0:00Have you ever gotten home, looked in the mirror, and realized that you've been
- 0:03walking around for six hours with spinach in your teeth?
- 0:07Or your fly was down? Or you had a giant piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe?
- 0:12And you're wondering how many people saw it and decided to just let you live like that?
- 0:16Introducing Someone Should Have Told You, the world's first personal embarrassment
- 0:20prevention service. Here's how it works.
- 0:23Using a discreet AI-powered camera built into a small accessory that goes into
- 0:28your cell phone, Someone Should Have Told You monitors your appearance and sends
- 0:32an alert to your phone whenever something is wrong.
- 0:35If you have food on your face, you'll get a notification. If your fly is down,
- 0:39you'll get a notification.
- 0:41Lipstick on your teeth, notification. If your skirt gets tucked into your underwear,
- 0:46your phone starts ringing because that's an emergency.
- 0:49And the notifications don't stop until you fix the problem, because some situations
- 0:54cannot wait until you finish scrolling.
- 0:56And unlike your friends, who apparently have no problem watching you walk around
- 1:00with an entire salad in your teeth, someone should have told you will actually say something.
- 1:04For just $2.99 a month, enjoy the peace of mind of knowing you're not publicly
- 1:09humiliating yourself without your consent.
- 1:12And for an additional $99.99, upgrade to the premium plan, which also alerts
- 1:17you when your outfit looks terrible, your breath smells, or you've been talking
- 1:21to someone for 20 minutes who clearly wants to leave.
- 1:25Someone should have told you because apparently everyone saw it and nobody said a fucking word.
- 1:30Someone should have told you may occasionally mistake your personal style for an emergency.
- 1:34The company is not responsible for hurt feelings, public confrontations,
- 1:37or discovering that you've had bad breaths since 2019.
- 1:41That's a separate service. Someone should have told you does not currently detect
- 1:44camel toes, visible nipples, or the fact that your ex is sitting directly behind you.
- 1:49Don't use your Halloween costume to raise awareness of anything other than Halloween,
- 1:54especially when you complete the look with a boyfriend sweater from The Row, okay?
- 1:59Jimmy Kimmel or Martha Stewart dressing up like a homeless person for Halloween.
- 2:03Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
- 2:09I'm Lindsay Barnick and today is November 4th, 2026.
- 2:13We're in that weird time right now where it's like appropriate to be wearing
- 2:17a sweater outside, but also a tank top, but like also a winter coat,
- 2:21like the light winter coats.
- 2:23But then also if you want to wear shorts and a tank top, you'd be okay too.
- 2:27It's so confusing, right?
- 2:29Okay, that's my weather review. So in real news, In-N-Out Burger might be going
- 2:35to three new states, but New York is not one of them.
- 2:40As we all know, In-N-Out is based in California, and they are now considering
- 2:44opening restaurants in Arkansas, Mississippi, and Oklahoma.
- 2:49The owner and president, Lindsay, who spells her name L-Y-N-S-I,
- 2:55announced this during an interview celebrating their 78th anniversary.
- 2:59But however, nothing is confirmed. There are no official locations or opening
- 3:04dates, but the company is like, these states make sense because they're close
- 3:09to the supply routes anyway.
- 3:11In-N-Out already has more than 400 locations across 10 states and they are planning
- 3:17to open in New Mexico in 2027.
- 3:19But if you're on the east coast with me hoping to finally get an In-N-Out,
- 3:23don't get too excited. Lynn C.
- 3:26Says that going to the east coast isn't part of the plan right now.
- 3:30The reason being is that In-N-Out doesn't use freezers or microwaves,
- 3:34and they get their food fresh from warehouses in California and Texas.
- 3:38She also likes that In-N-Out isn't available everywhere because it makes it more special.
- 3:44Which is a very nice way of telling 20 million New Yorkers to go fuck themselves.
- 3:49So if you live in Arkansas, Mississippi, or Oklahoma, lucky you,
- 3:53you may or may not be getting an In-N-Out soon.
- 3:56Meanwhile, over here in New York, we will continue to pay $19 for a burger at Shake Shack.
- 4:02But also, like, aren't you guys paying the same at In-N-Out?
- 4:05Google announced yesterday that schools will now have more control over whether
- 4:10students can use its AI, including Gemini.
- 4:14Except there's a catch with that.
- 4:16If the school is like, we don't want our students using Google's AI,
- 4:20then students will also lose access to Google like as a whole.
- 4:27So yes, Google is literally saying if you don't want our AI,
- 4:30you literally can't have any of it. You cannot have Google at all.
- 4:35So this is what's happening. Earlier this year, Google automatically turned
- 4:39on some of its AI features in classrooms and that upset parents and teachers
- 4:43who are worried that students are just going to use AI to do their homework
- 4:46instead of actually learning anything.
- 4:49So Google was like, okay, like I see you guys and announced that next year schools
- 4:53will have to actively choose whether to allow them using AI from them.
- 4:59And the reason that they wouldn't be able to use Google as a whole is because
- 5:02Google has now built AI directly into its search engine, and schools that ban
- 5:08AI altogether won't be able to use just like regular Google search because that
- 5:12doesn't even exist anymore.
- 5:14So basically, you can get with the times and get into 2026, 2027 almost,
- 5:21and accept AI, or just go all the way back to 1997 without Google.
- 5:26Google is now also making something called guided learning, where instead of
- 5:30just giving the kids answers, AI will actually walk them through the problem step by step.
- 5:36I mean, I think the kids are going to be pretty mad when they ask AI to write
- 5:40their essay and it responds by asking them to help them do it.
- 5:43I mean, I would be pissed off in this day and age, too.
- 5:46Remember when Google was just a place where you could just look up the capital
- 5:49of Nebraska and that was pretty much it and maybe just do like a little Google image search on there?
- 5:55Yesterday was election day, as I'm sure you know, and I don't know why I'm saying that, but it was.
- 6:02So I waited until the absolute last second to put this podcast out because still
- 6:09not all the results in yet, and they won't be enough for a little bit,
- 6:12but here is what I currently know as of the recording of this podcast.
- 6:17So all 435 seats in the House of Representatives were up for grabs,
- 6:22along with 35 Senate seats and 36 governorships.
- 6:26So here's what's happening as I currently know. So in North Carolina,
- 6:30former Governor Roy Cooper, who's a Democrat, defeated Republican Michael Watley.
- 6:36So they flipped the Senate seat from Republican to Democrat.
- 6:39Georgia reelected their Democratic senator.
- 6:43And in New Hampshire, Democrat Chris Pappas made history by becoming the first
- 6:48openly gay man ever elected to the U.S. Senate.
- 6:52But also, to be clear, he's not the first openly gay senator.
- 6:55That was Tommy Baldwin, who was elected in Wisconsin back in 2012.
- 6:59But Papas is the first openly gay man.
- 7:02I mean, that's a pretty big deal, right? Especially considering it's 2026 and
- 7:05we're still somehow having firsts like this.
- 7:09And down in Florida, obviously Republicans held onto their Senate seat,
- 7:14and another Republican was elected governor.
- 7:17And one of the biggest deals from Election Day is former Atlanta Mayor Keisha
- 7:22Lance Bottoms won the governor's race, and she has now become the first Black
- 7:27woman ever elected governor of a U.S. state.
- 7:30That's another big historic first in the year of 2026.
- 7:35And now the big question remains, who is going to control Congress?
- 7:40Obviously, Republicans went in hoping to stay in control of both the House and
- 7:44the Senate, and Democrats are like, no, we want it.
- 7:47So hopefully by the time you're listening to this, you have more updates than I do for you right now.
- 7:52And if we don't, I will continue doing what I've been doing all night,
- 7:56which is refreshing election results and pretending that I understand every number on the screen.
- 8:01In Lindsay life, yesterday I worked so hard.
- 8:05I finally passed a level on Candy Crush I've been working on for weeks now.
- 8:11I feel, honestly, I hate to say it, but I feel way too accomplished than I probably should.
- 8:18Things I'm thinking about. Okay, can we talk about those special questions on the ballot yesterday?
- 8:24Like, one question was like, should we make it easier to approve wheelchair rams?
- 8:28Like, why are you asking us that? Like, yes, we should make it easier to approve
- 8:33wheelchair and brands. Like, shouldn't that be obvious?
- 8:36The other one was like, should we speed up construction around here?
- 8:39Like, no, we want our city to be under construction, like the same building
- 8:44to be under construction for like the next 10 years.
- 8:47Like, why are you asking? That's like my landlord asking, like,
- 8:51should we turn on the heat for you this winter?
- 8:54Duh, why are you even asking these questions? Like, if we're going to be voting
- 8:59on stuff like this, can we at least put something more useful on there?
- 9:01Like, I don't know, can we make the subways more safer, more reliable?
- 9:07Could we do more to help the homeless people? Like, let's use these election
- 9:11days wisely and actually put some reasonable questions on there, I think.
- 9:16I don't know, that's just what I'm thinking about.
- 9:18Cooking tip of the day. If you don't feel like cooking, then don't.
- 9:23Feedback, comments, questions, and it's Jewish by looking for an ape?
- 9:26Email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thank you so much for listening,
- 9:30and I will talk to you guys tomorrow.
- 9:32Oh, also check out my TikTok. I've been posting some fun videos on there,
- 9:36and Instagram and Facebook, I guess, if you still use that.