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323: Using Breathwork to Facilitate Regulation, with Kurtis Lee Thomas · Beautifully Complex

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: The body is a living library for all of our stresses, traumas, heartbreaks, failures.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: That's why they say the issues are in the tissues.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: And what happens is our diaphragms get stressed and tense,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: where we can no longer breathe down deep into our
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: bellies and on a subconscious level where the human body
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: holds the most emotion is actually in the belly and
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: around the hips.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Welcome to beautifully Complex, where we unpack what it really
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: means to parent neurodivergent kids with dignity and clarity. I'm
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Penny Williams, and I know firsthand how tough and transformative
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: this journey can be. Let's dive in and discover how
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: to raise regulated, resilient, beautifully complex kids together. Oh and
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: if you want more support, join our free community at
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: hub dot beautifully complex dot life. Hi everyone, welcome back
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: to beautifully Complex. Today. I have with me Curtis Lee Thomas,
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: who transforms lives through breath work. So we're going to
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: talk all about using breath work both for parents and
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: for kids to help with regulation, and I think we'll
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: talk about how it helps with other things as well.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: But will you start by letting everybody know who you
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: are and what you do.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: All right, Well, first of all, thank you for having me.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: And my name is Curtis Lee Thomas. And yeah, I'm
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: a breathwork facilitator and trainer. So I not only facilitate
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: my own events for many years, but I've shifted about
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: five years ago and started certifying other people in this
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: modality so they can go out and teach it as well.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Awesome. Yeah, and you have a kid's book out as well, right.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I do, called The Secret of Life, Just Breathe.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Awesome. I'm sure we'll talk a little more about that
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: as we jump into it, but I want to start
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: with just defining breath work for anybody who doesn't know
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: what is breathwork.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: So it can get confusing because because there's many different
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: forms of breathwork. If you think of yoga, right, there's
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: many different forms of yoga.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: You have you know hot yoga, and then you have
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: yin yoga, and then you have you know flow yoga.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: So breathwork is the umbrella term and there's many different
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: modalities that fall under that. And what I specialized in
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: is deep diaphragmatic breathwork, which is called breathwork detox, so
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: it's extremely somatic and cathartic. It's one of the most
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: powerful healing natural healing modalities on the planet. But under that,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I also teach different breathing techniques, but they're more for maintenance.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: And I look at the deep diaphragmatic breathwork as like
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: the deep cleaning, and then after you get that, you know,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: deep cleaning in your house, then you can have maintenance
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: and it's a lot easier to maintain.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it is a lifelong practice, right, It's not
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: something where we do it. Maybe we have some healing
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: and then we're done.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well we're practicing every day. Everybody's breathing. Yeah, it's
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: like that. It's to say it.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know, if practice makes perfect, well, if
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: you keep practicing the same thing wrong over and over again,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: you just get really good at doing the wrong thing.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: And the problem is many of us are breathing incorrectly.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: So if i'm you know, I do a lot of
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: large group events, and I always have in the very beginning,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: everyone take a deep breath with me, al say, I
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: put your hand on your belly, put your hand on
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: your chest. To count of three, everyone take the deepest
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: breath ever, and then they go and then I watch
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: them and they all breathe into their chest, that clavicles
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: all up here. But really we're meant to breathe down
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: into our belly. And if you watch a dog or
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: a baby, watch a baby breathe. When a baby takes
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: a breath, in the belly moves. But how come us adults,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: our bellies don't move anymore? And that's because something got
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: a hold of us called life. And in that life,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of stress. And the body is a
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: living library for all of our stressors, traumas, heartbreak, failures.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: That's why they say the issues are in the tissues.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: And what happens is our diaphragms get stressed and tense,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: where we can no longer breed down deep into our
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: bellies and on a subconscious level, where the human body
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: holds the most emotion is actually in the belly and
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: around the hips. So what we do is that sometimes
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: we try to cut ourselves up off from feeling quote
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: unquote the pains of life. Right, so we subconsciously don't
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: breede down there, But what we directly do is we
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: also cut off our joys from life. Because eighty percent
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: of our serotonins produced in our gut, and you know
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: that is the stuff that makes you happy. And then
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: eighty percent of your immune system is in your gut,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: and that's the stuff that makes us healthy. So eighty
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: percent of our health and our happiness is in our
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: gut and we're not breathing the most vital life force
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: energy known to man, right, breath and oxygen into the
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: place that needs.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: It the most.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, And you talk about breathwork is a form
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: of emotional detox, and I think you just gave us
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: the reason why. Right, If our emotions are housed in
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: our belly and our hips and we're doing breath work
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: in that area, then we're feeling emotions, we're processing emotions.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: Is that right?
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: Yes?
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  Speaker 1: And I think the most mind boggling thing about trying
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: to explain what I do with people. And first of all,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I tell people trying to describe breathwork is like trying
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: to describe a kaleidoscope to a blind person, because it's
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: virtually impossible to explain. It can only be experienced. Because
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: you know, breath work, in breathing, it's very unassuming. You're like,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: how is breathing going to change my life. Like if
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: I said, Penny, hey, we're going to take this walk
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: in the park, and this walk is going to change
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: your life, Like how magical can that walk be?
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: Right? Yeah, it's just breathing.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: But what's so fascinating is I do these events for
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if I'm doing it for Nike, NASA
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: prison inmates. It doesn't matter. Statistically, or let's say an average,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: about sixty percent of all the people in the room
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: will break down in tears. And it can be the
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: most masculine men. I'm working with, Navy seals, NFL athletes,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: and that's because the body just holds on to so much.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: And what I've learned on my own personal healing journey
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: is that it doesn't matter how many green juices you
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: drink right, or you know how many miles you can run,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: if you're holding on to the toxic emotions of guilt, shame, regret,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: or anger, you know, it's a death wish. And that's
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: what happens to the body, is that it holds onto
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: these things and it reaks havoc within our nervous system,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: and then we become dysregulated and then we you know,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: we think we need this pillow. We need that pillow
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: when really we're just holding on to so much stress
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: and accumulated stress, and that can just be from being
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: a single parent or being an entrepreneur and having to
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: take care of employee before you you know, whatever that
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: may be, and we just need the proper tools. And
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I was just mind blowing myself because I was already
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: in this work for a decade as a certified Life Coach,
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: hipn the Therapist, NLP practitioner, Reiki master, and over a decade,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I didn't know this breathing technique existed, and it wasn't
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: until I had the stomach condition where doctors couldn't heal me,
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: they couldn't diagnose me. I was suffering for five years
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: and I did every test you can imagine, colonoscopy, endoscopy.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know you can swallow a freaking pill.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Camera that's like.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: That's big. And I saw the camera, I'm like, oh wow,
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: that's pretty cool.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: They couldn't find anything. And then I found this lost
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: ancient breathing technique that's been recently resurfaced, and I did
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: one session Penny, and it completely eradicated my stomach condition
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: where doctors couldn't even fix me, diagnose me. And I'm
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: a very skeptical, logical, analytical person, you know, I maybe
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like I got to see it to
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: believe it, and I couldn't wrap my head around how
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I did all these things and this one technique is
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: what did it. But then it hit me, I'm like,
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: you know what these doctors didn't know was wrong with me?
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Because my issue wasn't physical, right, it was it was emotional,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: it was energetic.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: And they don't understand that.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: And I think the future of wellness is where East
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: medicine meets Western medicine, like they have to come together
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: because I'm not the woo woo person where I'm like,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: you know, you break my arm, you know, give me
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: a painkiller, I got a cavity, give me the novacate.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: So I'm very much, you know, balanced in that. But
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: there's a lot that we don't know and doctors don't
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: know about emotional healing.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: And emotion is everything. It's the core of the human
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: experience and it does dictate how we feel. What we're
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: doing with our emotions dictates how we feel. And I
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: think culturally we're taught to not share our emotions to
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: hold them in unless they're the you know, and I'm
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: giving air quotes here for people who are just listening
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: the positive emotions, right, And all emotions are natural. All
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: emotions are just part of life. And I talk a
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: lot about helping kids to recognize that, to facilitate that
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: understanding for our kids so that they can process emotion
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: so it doesn't eat them up when they're stuffing it down. Right,
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  Speaker 2: How can breathwork sort of bridge the gap between this
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  Speaker 2: emotional dysregulation maybe we're holding it in or our kids
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: don't know how to process it in ways that are
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: healthy yet, and kind of self awareness for them, because
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: so many neurodivergent kids really struggle with self awareness, and
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: so I imagine that breathwork can really help sort of
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: tie that together and build more awareness. Would you agree
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: with that?
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you actually nailed that.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: So I was going to say that when you were talking,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: is you know, most adults don't have the tools and
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: know what to do, and they're dysregulators, so we can't
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: expect the children to the main thing is self awareness, right,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: and that is parent checking in with the kid. You know, Hey,
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: how are you feeling right now? We're doing cool and
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: fun exercises. You know, where do you feel heavy in
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: your body right now? Where do you feel happy in
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: your body right now? And it gets something got out
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: of their mind, which is where we all live, and
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: into their body. Yep, you know, which is a really
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: good exercise because you know, the mind is it's a
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: bad neighborhood.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: We don't want to live there, to drive by locked
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: the doors. You know a lot of crazy things go
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: on there.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: But we get into our body and really get in
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: tune and see how we feel. That's the first step
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: and is putting awareness and consciousness in Wow, how do
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I feel? How am I breathing right now?
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Where do I feel heaviness in my body? And after
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: you have that awareness, well you just need a couple tools.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: And breath work is the best because you know, the
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: breath has vital life force energy that awakens the cells
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: in the body, idolize them, and the cells have memory.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: And the breath is a very interesting thing because it's
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: the only system in the body that we can control
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: but then also works on its own. And you know,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: we never get the instruction manual to the breath and
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: the most you know amazing organic inner technology you know
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: that we have.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: And there's monks and the Himalayas that will go in
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: you know, frigid sub below temperatures and get wet sheets,
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: put them on.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Their body and then using a special breath technique, they'll
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: heat up the sheets so they start steaming.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: So it's like, you know, that's another level.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, but it shows like what the
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: breath can can do, and it'll take you out of
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: a panic attack faster than any pill you.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: Can swallow, because if you're just swallowing the pill.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: And this is coming from experience, I was on lexapro
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: and at a van and you know, I was riddled
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: with anxiety. And when you take a pill you swallow,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: it has to go into your stomach and then has
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: to break down and then go through a small intestine.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know, it could be twenty minutes, but
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: you can do a short breathing technique and in two
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: minutes completely regulate your system. So I think breath work
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: doesn't get the credit that it does is because it's
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: too simple. Yeah, it's too simple, and it's literally been
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: right under our noses the entire time.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I like the little joke because if can go,
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: it's literally right under these.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: It's a good trick for kids though, like young kids
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: to teach them to do it. I love that. What
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: other sort of tips do you have or strategies do
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: you have to simplify breathwork or to engage kids in breathwork?
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: I think you know, we don't want to add to
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: our daily lives. We're already overwhelmed, it's chaotic. How do
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: we listen to everyday life so that we can help
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: our kids regulate? Like breathborg is the ultimate regulation strategy,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: I think, and so we can use it anywhere, right,
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: But how do we help our kids engage?
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Well, we help our kids engage by us engaging. Make
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: it a part of our life, the parents' life. And
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: I wrote three books. I'm working on my fourth right now.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: And then I coach some people who are working on
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: their books and I tell them, listen, writing a book
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: isn't hard.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: Sitting down to write the book is hard. That means
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: making the.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Decision that I'm gonna do this at this time and
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I'm going to implement this in my life.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: And it's just making that commitment. Now.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: The good thing about the breath is that you only
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: need two minutes, two minutes here, two minutes there. Even
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: if you did just two minutes a day, you know,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: that's enough to affect your nervous system. So one, I
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: wouldn't go out and try to learn all the.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: Breathing techniques because if you try to learn them all,
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: then you end up doing none of them.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: So for sure, you want to use a technique. So
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: the easiest one is box breathing, which is you, you know,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: breathe in through your nose for four seconds, and then
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: you pause for four seconds, and then you breathe out
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: for four seconds, pause for four seconds, breathe in for
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: four seconds. So you're literally doing this box breathing in
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: four second intervals and at the top and the bottom
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: of each breath you're holding for four seconds. And what
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: this does is it gets you into parasympathetic, which is
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: your rest in digest and most people are stuck in
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: their sympathetic nervous system, which is their fight or flight
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: and that's their default mode. So training the body to
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: go back into parasympathetic where it's safe because that's what
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: the body thinks that it doesn't think it's safe. And
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: then when you do that What I also realize is
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: that you actually become clearer and you have more creativity
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: because if you think you know, they get the analogy,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: if a saber toothed tiger came in the room right now,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: you wouldn't be thinking about your taxes or you know
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: what you're going to get the growth.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: It's like, oh crap, you know, fight or flight, And what.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Really happens is all your thoughts in all these you know,
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: different options that you have narrowed down, and now you're
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: just you know, looking down a tunnel of just one
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: option or two options, fight or flight. But what happens
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: is when we're stressed, might not be a tiger in
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: the room, but it could just be all these other things.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: It might not narrow down to the tunnel vision or
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: fight or flight, but it might be a little bit
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: wider of a hot highway. But it limits your options
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: in life and what you're able to see. So when
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: you get into your parasympathetic all of a sudden, a
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: lot of your problems are solved because the answers were
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: there in front of you the entire time. And this
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: is the importance of how regulating your nervous system can
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: literally change your life and your perspective, because if you
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: shift your perspective on your own life, everything changes. Because
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: that that's what we have. That's how we evolve over time.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: People say, you know, time is what makes us evolve.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Time does not make us evolve. If anything, time, we
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: grow older, we die over time, for sure. It's what
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: happens over time. Yeah, And what happens over time is
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: we elevate our awareness. We have more experiences, we have
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: more wisdom, and what that does is that shifts our
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: perspective on past events that already happened.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: And then that's how we evolve.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: So you know, I just think if people are able
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: to implement, you know, a simple one box.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: Breathing is a really good one.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: They can look up four seven eight method is one
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Navy seals used to go to sleep at night. Just
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: breathe in for four seconds, pause for seven seconds, and
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: then breathe out for eight seconds. And then a very
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: simple one that changed me was straw breathing and you
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: just breathe normal as if you have a straw in
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: your mouth, and you actually can take a straw, cut
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: it in half, stick in your pocket. Because it's really
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: good if you feel anxiety or a panic attack, and
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: you breathe regular You put it in your mouth and
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: you breathe regularly.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: You don't try to suck the straw, I push the air.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: You breathe regular But what happens is it kind of
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: regulates the shape of your mouth, allowing only a certain
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: amount of CO two and oxygen to come in, which
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: is the perfect.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: Amount that calms the nervous system. So those would be
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: the three.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Now, if you want something that's going to be life changing,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: something you're looking for breakthrough, that's what I teach, which
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: is breathwork detox. It's apples and oranges from those maintenance
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: ones and breathwork detox. The reason why I went all
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: in with this one is because we do live in
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: a microwave society where people want to see results and
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: they want to see results fast, and most of the
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: time that's unattainable. You're not going to go to the
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: gym and I have a six pack in the morning.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: It doesn't work like that. So, unlike yoga and meditation,
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: the results of breathwork detox are immediate and undeniable from
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: one session, and that's why I had my huge breakthrough
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: in that one session where I hail the stomach condition
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: for five years and I've led tens of thousands of
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: people through this, and I've witnessed miracles happen with this technique,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: which is the whole reason why I went full time.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I have to bring this to
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: the world, especially when I realized that, you know, twenty
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: year yogis who've been practicing, you know, for two decades,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: had no idea this technique existed. So you know, that's
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: the deep cleaning and the other ones are the maintenance.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: But definitely adopt.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: And I'll also say this too, because I like to
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: gamify it and make it fun. And this is for
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: adults kids, But you do a little game and say, Okay,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: whenever we walk through a doorway or whenever we touch
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: a doorknob, right, we're gonna pause and take a breath
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: before every doorway we walk in.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: So now it kind of makes it fun. Oh there's
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: a doorway, let's take a breath, right, and you can
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: make it right kind of engaging.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: And the easiest one I can give you, guys, here's one,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: like if you're going to use in just one of them,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: it's the most overlooked breathing technique and it's called the sigh.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: And the reason why is if you look at the
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: body's natural response right when the body has pent up energy,
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: pin up stress, pain, tension, when it gets pinned up
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: to the max, the body does this, it.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: Does a sigh of relief.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: So that big build up and that excel is the
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: body's pressure release valve releasing accumulated stress and tension. So
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: breathwork detox is we induce that, and we do that
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: technique for a certain specific amount of time and it
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: gives these huge, massive release. People feel euphoria, joy, lighter,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: more buoyant. And I suggest just to do the simple
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: sigh walking through the doorways right or every time you
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: touch a doorknob, or every time you get in and
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: out of your car, like whatever it is. Just choose
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: that and stick to it. And if you just did
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: three size right now, don't do it if you're driving,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: but just three size right now and make them like
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: loud and obnoxious. Right, so you want to go.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: And then breathe just three.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: In a row, you're gonna be like, oh my god,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: actually feel more common, I feel more relaxed.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: But we don't do intentional size right, the body just
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: does it on its own. So just implementing that simple
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: little technique, you're gonna be like, oh my god, this
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: stuff really works. And then that's what we should become
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: a believer and want to implement it more and more
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: and more.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I learned several years ago from a therapist out
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: in the Midwest too. When your kid is in meltdown,
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: they're intense, are having a hard time, the first thing
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: that you should do before responding, before reacting, is just
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: take a really deep, empathetic breath. And I always caution parents, like,
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: don't sound exasperated, like you know, but it can be contagious, right,
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: It can cause our kids to actually take that breath too,
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: But it just regulates us to be able to be
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: intentional with what we do next and what we say next.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: And so it kind of goes along with that with
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: you know, this big sigh. But just again, parents, be
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: careful that you're not sounding exasperated, because that will escalate
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: your situation. Every time.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: It's true, because I'll do that, right, but I'll be
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: out and I'll just do these big a lot of
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: noxious size.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: And then then a couple of times it happened to me.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: People look over, are you okay? I'm like, what are
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: you talking about? And I'm like, oh, they think because it's.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: The body's natural way of releasing stress intentions. When hear
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: somebody do that big size, it's like.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: Oh, they're going through something, but they don't know that
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: I'm intentionally doing it. So I think that's kind of.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we're all going to walk around that way now.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, yeah.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Can we talk a little bit more about getting past
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: the skepticism, because you know, I was one of these people.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: I had a very victim mindset for most of my life,
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: and somewhere around forty I said enough if I can't
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: live like this anymore, and I tried to figure out,
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: you know, what can I do? And it starts with
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: changing my thinking. Right, But for so long when somebody
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: said you're thinking controls everything, I went, that's so hippie,
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: that's so like not me, right, And then I found
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: that it was really true, and it was very upset
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: that I didn't believe it all those years and I
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: wasn't leaning into what I know now in the nervous
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: system and all these things. So for the skeptics out there,
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: maybe there's a small step that they can start with
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: to start to move in this direction.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I would dare never to try to have
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: someone control their thoughts, although their thoughts do dictate their reality.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: But the problem with that is we have fifty thousand
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: thoughts per day an average human. And the crazy part
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: is eighty percent of those thoughts are negative in nature
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: and only twenty percent are positive. And ninety eight percent
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: of the thoughts that we had today were the same
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: thoughts we had yesterday. So a lot of people are
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: stuck on that hamster wheel. Really hard to do that.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: But if you look at some of the self help gurus,
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: or let's say one of the top in their game,
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: I'd say it would be Tony Robbins. A lot of
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: people know Tony Robbins. He's been doing this.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: For forty eight years, and he literally says, and I
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: just saw him in Las Vegas. He said two things. One,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: if you're going to master anything, master the breath. That
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: was one of his famous quotes. And they said, if
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: you want to change your life and how you think
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: and how you feel, there's only one way to do it.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: He said, you need to change your state. So don't
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: try to.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Change your thoughts or your emotions just change your state.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: And the fastest and most effective way to change your
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: state is by breathing right, doing intentional breathing techniques, and
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: that will change your state. And I love this one because,
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: you know, Penny, I never wanted to do the work
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: that I do, like get on stage and podcast, like
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: who the heck wants the public speak? Right, it's like
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: one of the most feared things in the world. Yeah,
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: and it's feared more than death statistically. I love the
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Jerry Seinfeld episode where he's.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: Like, people fear public speaking more than death.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: That means that they'd rather get up there and be
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: in the cast get than reading the eulogy.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Yes, exactly. You know.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: But something I learned is that in Harvard this study
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: that if you're really nervous and you're gonna get on stage,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: you have a big promotion, and you have a meeting
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: or whatever it may be, a date, and you are nervous,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: that if you try to take your nerves and relax
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: and breathe and try to calm yourself, it's actually not
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: as effective as if you did this one thing. And
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: that one thing is it's actually easier to trick yourself
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: into believing that you are excited than to try to
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: calm yourself because there is a very thin line between
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: the fear and excitement because a lot of the things
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: that you're probably afraid for, so you've been asking for
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: all along, right, that meeting, with that promotion, you know,
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: the date with the you know, the hot guy or
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: whatever it is, you know, And it's easier to get
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: ourselves excited than it is to calm ourselves down. So
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: that's a state change as well. Right, So just you know,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: having these tools to change your state, I think is
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: the quickest way to not just change your life, but
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: to become a believer. Because you're talking about the skeptics,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: and I'm one of the biggest skeptics, and I would
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: say this, if you are skeptic about the ability of
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: how such a simple thing as breathing can change your
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: entire life, I would say, try one session and what
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: that's going to do for you. It's going to make
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: you a believer. And I've done this for the most
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: resistant minds. I literally did this for the most left
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: brain people in the world, which are rocket scientists at NASA,
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: and they're very different personality than like when I work
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: with people like Nike and I brought them through this
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: and they were like, we did a case study and
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: everything they said, no prior event elicited the response that
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: we got from this and the history of us doing
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: mindfulness events, and that they put that on you know,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: I think Bloomberg or something like that. And you know,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: people who are very resistant, that's who I love working
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: with because I don't need to work with you for
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: three months.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: You don't need to buy packages for me. That's not
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: how I work.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: You know, they come in, they do one session, and
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: they leave a believer because not because I told them,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: it's because they experienced it for themselves. Yeah, And I
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: think that's why I always lead people to breathwork detox first,
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: because it awakens you to the power of the breath
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: and now you're like, oh wow, now I'm a believer.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: Now I know the breath works. What else is there?
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: How else can I implement this into my life?
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: So I like to work that way because I do
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: believe a lot of people are skeptics.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: They do need to see it to believe it, and
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: you know, it is what it is. And I get
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: you because I'm the same exact way.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and it's a shift in that energy. I
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: think about it as energy. What you're talking about is
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: the state. And when we can shift our energy in
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: that way, then we're more open. You know, if we
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: think about the science of it and the nervous system.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: If we're just regulated, our thinking brain dims, it's not
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: as accessible, if at all. So when we experience being
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: back in that regulated, connected zone, things become doable. And
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: so we experience that, Oh my body feels a little lighter,
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking more clearly, and then yeah, you become a
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: believer and it can happen really quickly, that change, you know,
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: just those three big size of relief. You will feel
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: that in your body if you really lean into doing it.
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, doing it is the hardest part.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: Just choosing to do it. Okay, I'm going now, because
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: doesn't take a long time. No thirty seconds, two minutes,
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: it's nothing. It's just more the awareness and to pause,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: just pause and say I'm going to do this and
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: make this part of my life. Whether you got to
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: put alarm on your phone, like whatever you have to do,
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: you know it will be worth it.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: I always teach people to connect it with something. Do
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: it every day before you get out of bed, do
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: it every day before you have breakfast, or you know,
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: connect it with something you're already doing, and then you
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: don't necessarily have to schedule or try to remember once
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: you form that habit.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good advice.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: Will you tell everybody Curtis where they can find you
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: online where they can learn more about the Breathwork Detalks
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: and learn more from you.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so if they're interested in Breathwork Detalks, they can
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: just go to Breathworkdetalks dot com and then they'll see
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: a video there that educate them a little bit more.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Program Suite if they wanted to do a virtual live event,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: which I facilitate every two weeks teach your training, so
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: they can go there they can find all that stuff.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: If they want to connect with me directly Instagram, man
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: from the Stars, just go type in Man from the
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: Stars on Instagram and then I'm pretty decent with direct
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: messages if people you know want to reach out to me.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: So you know, as of now, I'm doing pretty good.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, it's so hard to keep up with all
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: the things. I will link all of that up into
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: show notes for everybody to make it super easy. To access,
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: as well as the different breathing techniques that you talked
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: about and any other resources that we mentioned. Those are
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: going to be in the show notes at PARENTINGADHD and
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Autism dot com. Slash three two three for episode three
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: hundred and twenty three.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: Thank you so.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Much for being here, sharing your energy, your passion for
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: breath work, your strategies. I know it's going to change
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: some lives for folks who are listening or watching.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: Yes, I hope so. Thank you so much for having me.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: I appreciate it.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: I'll see everybody next time. Take good care. I see you.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: You're doing hard and meaningful work and you don't have
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: to do it alone. If you found this episode helpful,
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: share it with someone who needs it and leave a
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: quick review so others can find this support too. When
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: you're ready for next steps, the Regulated Kids Project is
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: here with the tools, coaching, and community to help you
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: raise a more regulated, resilient child. Get more info at
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: regulated kids dot com.