Latest / Confident and Empowered Women / The Confidence That Comes From Disappointing People | EP 267

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The Confidence That Comes From Disappointing People | EP 267 · Confident and Empowered Women

• 0:05
  If
• 0:05
  your
• 0:05
  growth
• 0:05
  hasn't
• 0:06
  disappointed
• 0:06
  anyone
• 0:07
  yet,
• 0:08
  you're
• 0:08
  probably
• 0:08
  still
• 0:09
  negotiating
• 0:10
  who
• 0:10
  you
• 0:10
  used
• 0:11
  to
• 0:11
  be
• 0:11
  Because
• 0:12
  real
• 0:12
  evolution
• 0:13
  doesn't
• 0:13
  ask
• 0:14
  for
• 0:14
  applause,
• 0:15
  it
• 0:15
  asks
• 0:16
  for
• 0:16
  courage.
• 0:16
  And
• 0:17
  today
• 0:17
  we're
• 0:18
  talking
• 0:18
  about
• 0:18
  the
• 0:18
  confidence
• 0:19
  that
• 0:20
  comes
• 0:20
  when
• 0:20
  you
• 0:20
  finally
• 0:21
  stop
• 0:22
  asking
• 0:23
  for
• 0:23
  permission
• 0:24
  to
• 0:24
  become
• 0:25
  who
• 0:25
  God
• 0:26
  source
• 0:26
  or
• 0:26
  the
• 0:26
  universe
• 0:27
  already
• 0:28
  showed
• 0:28
  you.
• 0:28
  You
• 0:29
  may
• 0:29
  have
• 0:29
  been
• 0:29
  calling
• 0:30
  it
• 0:30
  timing
• 0:31
  or
• 0:31
  discernment,
• 0:32
  but
• 0:32
  deep
• 0:32
  down,
• 0:33
  you
• 0:33
  know
• 0:33
  what
• 0:34
  it
• 0:34
  is
• 0:34
  you're
• 0:35
  afraid
• 0:35
  of
• 0:35
  what
• 0:36
  will
• 0:36
  change
• 0:37
  when
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  stop
• 0:38
  negotiating.
• 0:46
  Hey,
• 0:46
  before
• 0:47
  we
• 0:47
  keep
• 0:47
  going,
• 0:47
  if
• 0:48
  this
• 0:48
  podcast
• 0:49
  keeps
• 0:49
  meeting
• 0:49
  you
• 0:50
  in
• 0:50
  the
• 0:50
  exact
• 0:50
  places
• 0:51
  you
• 0:52
  didn't
• 0:52
  even
• 0:52
  know
• 0:52
  how
• 0:53
  to
• 0:53
  name
• 0:53
  yet,
• 0:54
  that's
• 0:54
  your
• 0:54
  cue.
• 0:55
  Go
• 0:55
  ahead
• 0:56
  and
• 0:56
  hit
• 0:56
  subscribe
• 0:57
  so
• 0:57
  these
• 0:57
  conversations
• 0:58
  can
• 0:58
  keep
• 0:59
  finding
• 0:59
  you
• 1:00
  right.
• 1:00
  On
• 1:00
  time,
• 1:01
  no
• 1:01
  pressure,
• 1:02
  no
• 1:02
  hustle,
• 1:03
  just
• 1:04
  honest
• 1:04
  growth,
• 1:05
  real
• 1:05
  embodiment
• 1:06
  and
• 1:07
  reminders
• 1:07
  that
• 1:07
  you
• 1:08
  are
• 1:08
  allowed
• 1:08
  to
• 1:09
  want
• 1:09
  what
• 1:09
  you
• 1:09
  want.
• 1:10
  All
• 1:11
  right,
• 1:11
  let's
• 1:12
  get
• 1:12
  into
• 1:12
  it.
• 1:16
  Hey,
• 1:16
  hey,
• 1:17
  hey.
• 1:17
  Welcome
• 1:18
  back,
• 1:18
  main
• 1:18
  character.
• 1:19
  Welcome
• 1:20
  back
• 1:20
  to
• 1:20
  the
• 1:20
  space
• 1:21
  where
• 1:22
  we
• 1:22
  don't
• 1:22
  just
• 1:22
  talk
• 1:23
  about
• 1:23
  growth,
• 1:24
  we
• 1:24
  embody
• 1:25
  it.
• 1:26
  This
• 1:26
  is
• 1:26
  a
• 1:26
  room
• 1:27
  for
• 1:27
  women
• 1:28
  who
• 1:28
  are
• 1:28
  done
• 1:29
  shrinking
• 1:29
  their
• 1:29
  truth
• 1:30
  to
• 1:30
  keep
• 1:30
  other
• 1:31
  people
• 1:31
  comfortable.
• 1:32
  Women
• 1:32
  who
• 1:32
  are
• 1:32
  realizing
• 1:33
  that
• 1:34
  alignment
• 1:34
  isn't
• 1:35
  always
• 1:35
  gentle
• 1:36
  sometimes.
• 1:37
  It's
• 1:38
  disruptive.
• 1:39
  So
• 1:39
  wherever
• 1:40
  you
• 1:40
  are
• 1:40
  right
• 1:40
  now,
• 1:41
  take
• 1:41
  a
• 1:41
  breath,
• 1:42
  unc
• 1:42
  unclench
• 1:43
  your
• 1:43
  shoulders
• 1:44
  and
• 1:44
  soften
• 1:45
  your
• 1:45
  jaw.
• 1:46
  You
• 1:46
  are
• 1:46
  safe
• 1:47
  here
• 1:47
  and
• 1:48
  you
• 1:48
  are
• 1:48
  allowed
• 1:49
  to
• 1:50
  evolve
• 1:51
  even
• 1:52
  when
• 1:52
  it
• 1:52
  disappoints
• 1:53
  people.
• 1:54
  If
• 1:54
  you
• 1:54
  listen
• 1:55
  to
• 1:55
  the
• 1:55
  last
• 1:55
  episode,
• 1:56
  the
• 1:56
  alignment
• 1:56
  gap,
• 1:57
  then
• 1:57
  you
• 1:57
  already
• 1:58
  know
• 1:58
  the
• 1:58
  truth
• 1:59
  we
• 1:59
  uncovered
• 1:59
  there.
• 2:00
  If
• 2:00
  you
• 2:00
  haven't
• 2:00
  already
• 2:01
  listened,
• 2:01
  go
• 2:02
  back
• 2:02
  and
• 2:02
  give
• 2:02
  it
• 2:03
  a
• 2:03
  listen
• 2:03
  and
• 2:03
  then
• 2:03
  come
• 2:04
  on
• 2:04
  right
• 2:04
  back
• 2:04
  here,
• 2:04
  because
• 2:05
  sometimes
• 2:06
  you
• 2:06
  don't
• 2:06
  feel
• 2:07
  stuck
• 2:07
  because
• 2:08
  you're
• 2:08
  confused.
• 2:09
  You
• 2:09
  feel
• 2:09
  stuck
• 2:10
  because
• 2:10
  your
• 2:10
  identity
• 2:11
  hasn't
• 2:12
  caught
• 2:12
  up
• 2:12
  with
• 2:13
  your
• 2:13
  growth.
• 2:14
  You
• 2:14
  know
• 2:14
  what
• 2:14
  to
• 2:14
  do.
• 2:15
  You
• 2:15
  feel
• 2:16
  the
• 2:16
  nudge,
• 2:17
  but
• 2:17
  something
• 2:18
  in
• 2:18
  you
• 2:18
  hesitates.
• 2:19
  And
• 2:20
  today
• 2:20
  I
• 2:21
  wanna
• 2:21
  tell
• 2:21
  you
• 2:21
  why.
• 2:22
  It's
• 2:22
  not
• 2:22
  because
• 2:23
  you're
• 2:23
  not
• 2:24
  confident
• 2:24
  enough.
• 2:25
  It's
• 2:25
  because
• 2:26
  stepping
• 2:27
  into
• 2:27
  confidence
• 2:28
  often
• 2:28
  means
• 2:29
  disappointing
• 2:30
  people
• 2:31
  and
• 2:31
  that
• 2:31
  cost
• 2:32
  feels
• 2:32
  heavy.
• 2:33
  So
• 2:34
  today
• 2:35
  we're
• 2:35
  talking
• 2:35
  about
• 2:36
  the
• 2:36
  kind
• 2:36
  of
• 2:36
  confidence
• 2:37
  that
• 2:37
  doesn't
• 2:37
  come
• 2:37
  from
• 2:38
  hype.
• 2:38
  It
• 2:39
  comes
• 2:39
  from
• 2:39
  self-trust.
• 2:41
  And
• 2:41
  self-trust
• 2:42
  is
• 2:42
  built
• 2:42
  in
• 2:43
  some
• 2:43
  uncomfortable
• 2:44
  places,
• 2:45
  but
• 2:45
  we're
• 2:46
  going
• 2:46
  there
• 2:46
  together
• 2:47
  There's
• 2:48
  a
• 2:48
  pattern.
• 2:48
  I
• 2:48
  see
• 2:49
  every
• 2:50
  time
• 2:50
  a
• 2:50
  woman
• 2:51
  outgrows
• 2:51
  her
• 2:51
  life,
• 2:52
  people
• 2:53
  don't
• 2:53
  get
• 2:53
  disappointed
• 2:54
  when
• 2:54
  you're
• 2:54
  doing
• 2:55
  exactly
• 2:56
  what
• 2:56
  they
• 2:56
  expect.
• 2:57
  They
• 2:58
  get
• 2:58
  disappointed
• 2:59
  when
• 2:59
  you
• 2:59
  stop
• 3:00
  playing
• 3:00
  the
• 3:00
  role
• 3:01
  they
• 3:02
  assigned
• 3:02
  you,
• 3:03
  the
• 3:03
  fixer,
• 3:04
  the
• 3:04
  over
• 3:04
  giver,
• 3:05
  the
• 3:05
  strong
• 3:06
  one,
• 3:06
  the
• 3:07
  one
• 3:07
  who
• 3:07
  never
• 3:08
  asks
• 3:08
  for
• 3:08
  help.
• 3:09
  And
• 3:09
  when
• 3:09
  you
• 3:10
  change,
• 3:10
  when
• 3:11
  you
• 3:11
  choose
• 3:11
  differently.
• 3:12
  The
• 3:12
  room
• 3:13
  shifts
• 3:14
  and
• 3:14
  many
• 3:14
  women
• 3:15
  misinterpret
• 3:16
  that
• 3:16
  shift
• 3:17
  as
• 3:18
  guilt.
• 3:19
  But
• 3:19
  listen
• 3:20
  to
• 3:20
  me
• 3:20
  carefully.
• 3:21
  Disappointment
• 3:22
  is
• 3:22
  not
• 3:23
  proof
• 3:23
  that
• 3:23
  you're
• 3:23
  selfish.
• 3:24
  It's
• 3:25
  often
• 3:25
  proof
• 3:26
  that
• 3:26
  your
• 3:26
  identity
• 3:27
  is
• 3:27
  upgrading
• 3:28
  faster
• 3:29
  than
• 3:29
  their
• 3:30
  expectations.
• 3:31
  Some
• 3:31
  relationships
• 3:32
  were
• 3:33
  built
• 3:33
  around
• 3:34
  who
• 3:34
  you
• 3:35
  were
• 3:36
  not.
• 3:37
  Who
• 3:37
  you
• 3:37
  are
• 3:37
  becoming,
• 3:38
  people
• 3:38
  aren't
• 3:39
  disappointed
• 3:39
  because
• 3:40
  you
• 3:40
  changed.
• 3:41
  They're
• 3:41
  disappointed
• 3:42
  because
• 3:42
  you
• 3:42
  stopped
• 3:43
  performing
• 3:44
  a
• 3:44
  role.
• 3:45
  They
• 3:45
  relied
• 3:45
  on.
• 3:46
  Uh,
• 3:46
  let
• 3:46
  me
• 3:47
  tell
• 3:47
  you
• 3:47
  one
• 3:47
  thing
• 3:48
  that
• 3:48
  growth
• 3:48
  is
• 3:48
  gonna
• 3:49
  do.
• 3:49
  Growth
• 3:50
  disappoints.
• 3:51
  People
• 3:51
  who
• 3:52
  benefited
• 3:52
  from
• 3:53
  your
• 3:53
  old
• 3:53
  self,
• 3:54
  the
• 3:55
  one
• 3:55
  who
• 3:55
  rushes
• 3:56
  to
• 3:56
  solve
• 3:56
  all
• 3:57
  the
• 3:57
  problems
• 3:58
  or
• 3:58
  avoids
• 3:59
  conflict,
• 4:00
  stayed
• 4:01
  predictable,
• 4:02
  didn't
• 4:02
  rock
• 4:02
  the
• 4:03
  boat,
• 4:03
  the
• 4:03
  peacekeeper,
• 4:05
  or
• 4:05
  the
• 4:05
  one
• 4:06
  who
• 4:06
  didn't
• 4:06
  need
• 4:07
  much.
• 4:08
  But
• 4:08
  let's
• 4:08
  be
• 4:08
  honest,
• 4:09
  the
• 4:09
  old
• 4:10
  self
• 4:10
  got
• 4:10
  applause
• 4:11
  for
• 4:11
  being
• 4:12
  selfless.
• 4:13
  Strong,
• 4:14
  low
• 4:14
  maintenance,
• 4:15
  so
• 4:15
  easy
• 4:16
  to
• 4:16
  love.
• 4:17
  Validation
• 4:18
  came
• 4:18
  quickly,
• 4:19
  even
• 4:20
  if
• 4:20
  it
• 4:20
  came
• 4:21
  at
• 4:21
  your
• 4:22
  expense.
• 4:23
  When
• 4:23
  you
• 4:23
  stop
• 4:24
  over
• 4:24
  explaining,
• 4:25
  showing
• 4:25
  up
• 4:26
  on
• 4:26
  demand,
• 4:27
  when
• 4:27
  you
• 4:27
  stop
• 4:28
  saying
• 4:28
  yes,
• 4:29
  just
• 4:30
  to
• 4:30
  keep
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  peace,
• 4:31
  someone
• 4:32
  feels
• 4:32
  it.
• 4:33
  And
• 4:33
  many
• 4:33
  women
• 4:34
  mistake
• 4:34
  the
• 4:34
  discomfort
• 4:35
  for
• 4:36
  selfishness
• 4:37
  when
• 4:37
  really
• 4:38
  it's
• 4:38
  just
• 4:38
  evidence
• 4:39
  of
• 4:39
  alignment.
• 4:41
  Confidence
• 4:41
  grows
• 4:42
  the
• 4:42
  moment
• 4:42
  you
• 4:42
  stop
• 4:43
  treating
• 4:44
  their
• 4:44
  discomfort,
• 4:45
  like
• 4:46
  a
• 4:46
  reason
• 4:46
  to
• 4:47
  retreat.
• 4:48
  Confidence
• 4:49
  doesn't
• 4:49
  come.
• 4:50
  From
• 4:50
  everyone
• 4:51
  understanding
• 4:52
  you,
• 4:52
  it
• 4:53
  comes
• 4:53
  from
• 4:53
  being
• 4:54
  willing
• 4:54
  to
• 4:55
  be
• 4:55
  misunderstood
• 4:56
  and
• 4:57
  still
• 4:58
  move
• 4:58
  forward.
• 4:59
  If
• 5:00
  your
• 5:00
  growth
• 5:00
  doesn't
• 5:01
  disrupt
• 5:01
  anything,
• 5:02
  you
• 5:02
  may
• 5:02
  not
• 5:03
  actually
• 5:03
  be
• 5:03
  growing.
• 5:04
  You
• 5:04
  may
• 5:05
  just
• 5:05
  be
• 5:05
  upgrading
• 5:06
  Aesthetics.
• 5:07
  Confidence
• 5:08
  is
• 5:08
  born
• 5:09
  the
• 5:09
  moment
• 5:09
  you
• 5:09
  choose
• 5:10
  integrity
• 5:12
  over
• 5:12
  approval.
• 5:13
  And
• 5:13
  this
• 5:13
  is
• 5:14
  the
• 5:14
  truth
• 5:14
  that
• 5:15
  most
• 5:15
  women
• 5:16
  miss.
• 5:17
  The
• 5:17
  old
• 5:17
  self
• 5:18
  wasn't
• 5:18
  wrong.
• 5:19
  She
• 5:19
  was
• 5:19
  necessary.
• 5:20
  She
• 5:21
  got
• 5:21
  you
• 5:21
  here,
• 5:22
  but
• 5:23
  she's
• 5:23
  not
• 5:23
  equipped
• 5:24
  to
• 5:25
  take
• 5:25
  you
• 5:25
  where
• 5:26
  you're
• 5:26
  going.
• 5:27
  Confidence
• 5:28
  doesn't
• 5:28
  come
• 5:28
  from
• 5:29
  hating
• 5:29
  her.
• 5:30
  It
• 5:30
  comes
• 5:30
  from
• 5:31
  honoring
• 5:31
  her
• 5:32
  and
• 5:33
  outgrowing
• 5:34
  her.
• 5:35
  Anyway,
• 5:36
  so
• 5:36
  friend,
• 5:37
  place
• 5:37
  your
• 5:38
  hand
• 5:38
  on
• 5:38
  your
• 5:38
  heart
• 5:39
  and
• 5:39
  receive
• 5:40
  this
• 5:40
  with
• 5:40
  me.
• 5:41
  The
• 5:41
  old
• 5:42
  version
• 5:42
  of
• 5:43
  you
• 5:43
  wasn't
• 5:44
  weak.
• 5:45
  She
• 5:45
  was
• 5:46
  strategic,
• 5:47
  but
• 5:48
  you
• 5:48
  don't
• 5:48
  need
• 5:48
  her
• 5:49
  strategies
• 5:49
  anymore.
• 5:50
  say
• 5:51
  this
• 5:51
  with
• 5:52
  me.
• 5:52
  I
• 5:53
  honor
• 5:53
  and
• 5:54
  accept
• 5:54
  myself
• 5:55
  fully.
• 5:56
  I
• 5:56
  love
• 5:57
  her,
• 5:57
  and
• 5:58
  I'm
• 5:58
  choosing
• 5:59
  differently
• 6:00
  now.
• 6:02
  Ooh,
• 6:03
  friend,
• 6:04
  lemme
• 6:04
  put
• 6:04
  you
• 6:04
  onto
• 6:05
  something
• 6:05
  real
• 6:05
  quick.
• 6:06
  If
• 6:06
  you've
• 6:06
  ever
• 6:06
  walked
• 6:07
  into
• 6:07
  a
• 6:07
  room
• 6:07
  feeling
• 6:08
  solid,
• 6:09
  and
• 6:09
  then
• 6:09
  one
• 6:09
  comment,
• 6:10
  one
• 6:10
  look,
• 6:11
  one
• 6:11
  moment
• 6:12
  made
• 6:12
  you
• 6:13
  second
• 6:13
  guess
• 6:13
  yourself.
• 6:14
  That's
• 6:14
  exactly
• 6:15
  why
• 6:15
  I
• 6:15
  created
• 6:16
  the
• 6:16
  Main
• 6:16
  Character
• 6:17
  Confidence
• 6:17
  Checklist.
• 6:18
  It's
• 6:19
  not
• 6:19
  about
• 6:19
  pretending
• 6:20
  to
• 6:20
  be
• 6:20
  confident.
• 6:21
  It's
• 6:21
  about
• 6:22
  remembering.
• 6:23
  Who
• 6:23
  you
• 6:23
  are
• 6:24
  before
• 6:25
  doubt
• 6:25
  starts
• 6:25
  talking.
• 6:26
  It's
• 6:26
  simple,
• 6:27
  it's
• 6:27
  grounding,
• 6:28
  and
• 6:28
  it's
• 6:29
  there
• 6:29
  for
• 6:29
  you
• 6:29
  on
• 6:29
  the
• 6:30
  days.
• 6:30
  You
• 6:30
  need
• 6:30
  a
• 6:30
  quick
• 6:31
  reset.
• 6:32
  You'll
• 6:32
  find
• 6:32
  it
• 6:32
  linked
• 6:33
  in
• 6:33
  the
• 6:33
  show
• 6:33
  notes.
• 6:34
  Save
• 6:35
  it,
• 6:35
  come
• 6:35
  back
• 6:36
  to
• 6:36
  it,
• 6:36
  let
• 6:36
  it
• 6:36
  support
• 6:37
  you.
• 6:38
  Okay,
• 6:39
  now
• 6:39
  back
• 6:39
  to
• 6:39
  the
• 6:39
  episode.
• 6:42
  Let's
• 6:43
  tell
• 6:43
  this
• 6:43
  truth
• 6:44
  gently,
• 6:45
  but
• 6:45
  clearly
• 6:46
  people
• 6:47
  pleasing
• 6:47
  doesn't
• 6:48
  just
• 6:48
  drain
• 6:49
  your
• 6:49
  energy.
• 6:50
  It
• 6:50
  delays
• 6:50
  your
• 6:51
  destiny
• 6:52
  every
• 6:52
  time
• 6:52
  you
• 6:52
  say
• 6:53
  yes,
• 6:53
  when
• 6:54
  your
• 6:54
  spirit
• 6:54
  said
• 6:55
  no.
• 6:55
  Every
• 6:55
  time
• 6:56
  you
• 6:57
  edit
• 6:57
  yourself
• 6:58
  to
• 6:58
  remain
• 6:58
  acceptable,
• 7:00
  your
• 7:00
  nervous
• 7:00
  system
• 7:01
  registers
• 7:02
  it
• 7:02
  as
• 7:03
  a
• 7:03
  betrayal.
• 7:04
  Yes,
• 7:04
  friend.
• 7:05
  It
• 7:05
  is
• 7:05
  recognizing
• 7:06
  you,
• 7:07
  straight
• 7:07
  up,
• 7:07
  betrayed
• 7:07
  yourself.
• 7:08
  And
• 7:08
  over
• 7:09
  time,
• 7:09
  that
• 7:10
  shows
• 7:10
  up
• 7:10
  as
• 7:11
  second
• 7:11
  guessing
• 7:12
  anxiety,
• 7:13
  a
• 7:13
  lack
• 7:13
  of
• 7:14
  confidence.
• 7:15
  Not
• 7:15
  because
• 7:15
  you're
• 7:15
  broken,
• 7:16
  but
• 7:16
  because
• 7:16
  your
• 7:17
  soul
• 7:17
  is
• 7:18
  tired
• 7:19
  of
• 7:19
  being
• 7:19
  overridden.
• 7:21
  Confidence
• 7:22
  doesn't
• 7:22
  come
• 7:23
  from
• 7:23
  hype,
• 7:23
  it
• 7:24
  comes
• 7:24
  from
• 7:24
  self-trust.
• 7:26
  And
• 7:26
  self-trust
• 7:27
  is
• 7:27
  built.
• 7:27
  When
• 7:27
  you
• 7:27
  stop
• 7:28
  choosing
• 7:28
  harmony
• 7:29
  at
• 7:30
  the
• 7:30
  expense
• 7:31
  of
• 7:31
  your
• 7:31
  honesty,
• 7:32
  you
• 7:32
  are
• 7:33
  not
• 7:33
  waiting
• 7:33
  for
• 7:33
  clarity.
• 7:34
  You're
• 7:34
  waiting
• 7:35
  for
• 7:35
  permission.
• 7:36
  Permission
• 7:37
  to
• 7:37
  disappoint,
• 7:38
  permission
• 7:38
  to
• 7:39
  change
• 7:39
  your
• 7:39
  mind,
• 7:40
  permission
• 7:41
  to
• 7:41
  want
• 7:41
  more,
• 7:42
  and
• 7:42
  confidence.
• 7:43
  Shifts
• 7:44
  dramatically.
• 7:45
  When
• 7:46
  your
• 7:46
  decisions
• 7:47
  stop
• 7:47
  being
• 7:48
  group
• 7:48
  projects,
• 7:49
  you're
• 7:50
  asking
• 7:50
  five
• 7:50
  people
• 7:51
  what
• 7:51
  you
• 7:51
  already
• 7:52
  know.
• 7:55
  No
• 7:55
  shade,
• 7:56
  no
• 7:56
  judgment
• 7:57
  speaking
• 7:57
  to
• 7:57
  my
• 7:57
  old
• 7:58
  self
• 7:58
  here.
• 7:58
  Okay.
• 8:01
  While
• 8:01
  we're
• 8:01
  here,
• 8:02
  over-explaining
• 8:03
  is
• 8:04
  a
• 8:04
  form
• 8:04
  of
• 8:04
  self-doubt.
• 8:05
  Soft.
• 8:06
  Launching
• 8:06
  your
• 8:06
  life
• 8:07
  is
• 8:07
  a
• 8:08
  way
• 8:08
  of
• 8:08
  staying
• 8:08
  safe.
• 8:09
  Confidence
• 8:10
  shifts
• 8:11
  dramatically
• 8:12
  when
• 8:12
  your
• 8:13
  choices
• 8:13
  become
• 8:14
  less
• 8:14
  performative
• 8:15
  and
• 8:15
  more
• 8:16
  final.
• 8:17
  The
• 8:17
  most
• 8:17
  beautiful
• 8:18
  decisions
• 8:18
  you'll.
• 8:19
  Ever
• 8:19
  make
• 8:20
  will
• 8:20
  not
• 8:21
  be
• 8:21
  announced.
• 8:22
  They'll
• 8:22
  be
• 8:22
  honored
• 8:23
  quietly.
• 8:24
  The
• 8:24
  woman
• 8:24
  you
• 8:25
  are
• 8:25
  becoming
• 8:25
  does
• 8:25
  not
• 8:26
  need
• 8:26
  a
• 8:26
  consensus.
• 8:27
  She
• 8:28
  needs
• 8:28
  commitment.
• 8:29
  Private
• 8:30
  decisions
• 8:31
  build
• 8:31
  public
• 8:32
  confidence.
• 8:33
  Here's
• 8:34
  what
• 8:34
  I
• 8:34
  want
• 8:34
  you
• 8:34
  to
• 8:34
  take
• 8:35
  with
• 8:35
  you.
• 8:35
  Confidence
• 8:36
  is
• 8:36
  not
• 8:37
  a
• 8:37
  personality
• 8:38
  trait.
• 8:38
  It's
• 8:39
  a
• 8:39
  byproduct
• 8:40
  of
• 8:40
  integrity.
• 8:42
  It
• 8:42
  shows
• 8:43
  up
• 8:43
  when
• 8:43
  you
• 8:44
  disappoint
• 8:44
  people
• 8:45
  without.
• 8:47
  Self
• 8:47
  betrayal.
• 8:48
  you
• 8:48
  keep
• 8:49
  promises
• 8:50
  without
• 8:50
  needing
• 8:51
  motivation.
• 8:52
  You
• 8:52
  move
• 8:53
  without
• 8:53
  asking
• 8:54
  to
• 8:54
  be
• 8:54
  chosen.
• 8:55
  You
• 8:56
  don't
• 8:56
  feel
• 8:56
  confident.
• 8:57
  First,
• 8:57
  you
• 8:58
  act
• 8:58
  and
• 8:59
  confidence
• 9:00
  catches
• 9:00
  up.
• 9:01
  Now
• 9:01
  this
• 9:02
  part
• 9:02
  is
• 9:02
  tender
• 9:03
  and
• 9:03
  necessary,
• 9:04
  so
• 9:04
  let's
• 9:04
  get
• 9:04
  grounded
• 9:05
  here.
• 9:06
  Sometimes
• 9:07
  the
• 9:07
  only
• 9:07
  way
• 9:07
  to
• 9:08
  keep
• 9:08
  a
• 9:08
  promise
• 9:08
  to
• 9:09
  yourself
• 9:10
  is
• 9:10
  to
• 9:10
  disappoint
• 9:11
  someone
• 9:12
  else.
• 9:12
  The
• 9:13
  unspoken
• 9:14
  agreement
• 9:14
  that
• 9:14
  says,
• 9:15
  I'll
• 9:16
  always
• 9:16
  be
• 9:17
  available.
• 9:17
  I
• 9:18
  won't
• 9:18
  outgrow
• 9:19
  you.
• 9:19
  I'll
• 9:19
  stay
• 9:20
  small
• 9:20
  so
• 9:20
  you
• 9:21
  don't
• 9:21
  feel
• 9:21
  threatened.
• 9:22
  Confidence
• 9:23
  is
• 9:23
  born.
• 9:24
  When
• 9:24
  your
• 9:24
  loyalty
• 9:25
  to
• 9:25
  yourself
• 9:26
  outweighs
• 9:27
  your
• 9:27
  fear
• 9:28
  of
• 9:28
  being
• 9:29
  misunderstood.
• 9:30
  That
• 9:30
  doesn't
• 9:31
  make
• 9:31
  you
• 9:31
  cold.
• 9:32
  It
• 9:32
  makes
• 9:33
  you
• 9:33
  clear.
• 9:34
  Confidence
• 9:35
  doesn't
• 9:35
  collapse
• 9:36
  because
• 9:36
  life
• 9:36
  is
• 9:37
  hard.
• 9:38
  It
• 9:38
  collapses
• 9:39
  because
• 9:39
  you
• 9:39
  keep
• 9:40
  abandoning
• 9:40
  yourself.
• 9:41
  Quietly.
• 9:43
  Every
• 9:43
  time
• 9:43
  you
• 9:43
  say,
• 9:44
  I'll
• 9:44
  start
• 9:45
  tomorrow,
• 9:46
  I'll
• 9:46
  speak
• 9:46
  up
• 9:46
  next
• 9:47
  time,
• 9:47
  or
• 9:48
  I'll
• 9:48
  take
• 9:48
  myself
• 9:49
  seriously
• 9:50
  later.
• 9:51
  Something
• 9:52
  in
• 9:52
  you
• 9:53
  notices.
• 9:54
  And
• 9:55
  over
• 9:55
  time,
• 9:56
  self-doubt
• 9:57
  isn't
• 9:57
  created
• 9:58
  by
• 9:58
  failure.
• 9:59
  It's
• 9:59
  created
• 10:00
  by
• 10:00
  broken
• 10:00
  promises
• 10:01
  you
• 10:02
  made
• 10:02
  to
• 10:02
  yourself.
• 10:04
  And
• 10:04
  made
• 10:05
  a
• 10:05
  habit
• 10:05
  of
• 10:05
  it.
• 10:06
  Confidence
• 10:06
  grows
• 10:07
  when
• 10:07
  you
• 10:07
  do
• 10:08
  what
• 10:08
  you
• 10:08
  said
• 10:09
  you
• 10:09
  would
• 10:09
  do.
• 10:10
  Even
• 10:10
  when
• 10:10
  no
• 10:10
  one
• 10:11
  claps,
• 10:12
  even
• 10:12
  when
• 10:12
  it's
• 10:12
  inconvenient,
• 10:14
  even
• 10:14
  when
• 10:15
  it's
• 10:15
  small,
• 10:16
  you
• 10:16
  don't
• 10:16
  need
• 10:17
  a
• 10:17
  new
• 10:17
  identity.
• 10:19
  You
• 10:19
  just
• 10:19
  need
• 10:19
  follow
• 10:20
  through.
• 10:20
  So
• 10:21
  ask
• 10:21
  yourself,
• 10:22
  who
• 10:22
  have
• 10:22
  I
• 10:23
  been
• 10:23
  the
• 10:23
  most
• 10:24
  consistent
• 10:25
  and
• 10:25
  disappointing,
• 10:27
  and
• 10:27
  why
• 10:27
  is
• 10:27
  it
• 10:27
  myself?
• 10:29
  Honoring
• 10:29
  yourself
• 10:30
  doesn't
• 10:30
  mean
• 10:31
  abandoning
• 10:32
  others.
• 10:33
  It
• 10:33
  means
• 10:34
  you
• 10:34
  stop
• 10:35
  abandoning
• 10:36
  you.
• 10:38
  This
• 10:38
  isn't
• 10:38
  about
• 10:39
  breaking
• 10:39
  promises
• 10:40
  to
• 10:40
  people,
• 10:40
  okay?
• 10:41
  Trust
• 10:41
  me,
• 10:42
  I'm
• 10:42
  not
• 10:42
  teaching
• 10:43
  women
• 10:43
  to
• 10:43
  become
• 10:44
  unreliable
• 10:45
  or
• 10:46
  reckless.
• 10:47
  I'm
• 10:47
  teaching
• 10:48
  them
• 10:48
  to
• 10:48
  reorder
• 10:49
  their
• 10:49
  loyalty.
• 10:51
  It's
• 10:51
  about
• 10:51
  noticing
• 10:52
  how
• 10:53
  often
• 10:53
  women
• 10:54
  stay
• 10:54
  loyal
• 10:55
  to
• 10:56
  everyone
• 10:56
  else's
• 10:56
  expectations
• 10:57
  and
• 10:58
  slowly
• 10:59
  become
• 11:00
  disloyal
• 11:01
  to
• 11:02
  themselves.
• 11:03
  Most
• 11:04
  of
• 11:04
  the
• 11:04
  promises
• 11:05
  women
• 11:05
  feel
• 11:05
  trapped
• 11:06
  by,
• 11:06
  were
• 11:06
  never
• 11:07
  even
• 11:07
  spoken.
• 11:08
  They
• 11:08
  were
• 11:08
  assumed,
• 11:10
  and
• 11:10
  you
• 11:10
  are
• 11:10
  allowed
• 11:12
  to
• 11:12
  update
• 11:12
  assumptions.
• 11:14
  This
• 11:14
  isn't
• 11:15
  about
• 11:15
  disappointing
• 11:16
  people.
• 11:17
  It's
• 11:17
  about
• 11:17
  finally
• 11:19
  disappointing
• 11:20
  yourself
• 11:21
  less
• 11:23
  The
• 11:23
  woman
• 11:23
  you
• 11:23
  are
• 11:23
  becoming
• 11:24
  isn't
• 11:24
  disloyal.
• 11:26
  She's
• 11:26
  just
• 11:26
  finally
• 11:27
  loyal
• 11:28
  to
• 11:29
  herself.
• 11:32
  Ooh.
• 11:33
  Now
• 11:34
  if
• 11:34
  this
• 11:34
  conversation
• 11:35
  is
• 11:36
  touching
• 11:36
  something
• 11:36
  tender
• 11:37
  this
• 11:37
  is
• 11:38
  your
• 11:38
  invitation
• 11:39
  not
• 11:39
  to
• 11:39
  push
• 11:40
  past
• 11:40
  them.
• 11:41
  The
• 11:41
  Main
• 11:41
  Character
• 11:42
  Energy
• 11:42
  Journal
• 11:42
  Prompts
• 11:43
  were
• 11:43
  created
• 11:44
  for
• 11:45
  moments
• 11:45
  like
• 11:46
  this.
• 11:47
  They
• 11:47
  help
• 11:47
  you
• 11:47
  sit
• 11:48
  with
• 11:48
  what's
• 11:48
  real,
• 11:49
  hear
• 11:49
  yourself
• 11:50
  clearly,
• 11:51
  and
• 11:51
  move
• 11:51
  from
• 11:52
  insight
• 11:53
  into
• 11:53
  embodiment.
• 11:54
  No
• 11:55
  pressure
• 11:56
  to
• 11:56
  journal
• 11:56
  perfectly,
• 11:57
  just
• 11:58
  space
• 11:58
  to
• 11:58
  be
• 11:59
  honest,
• 12:00
  you'll
• 12:01
  find
• 12:01
  them
• 12:01
  waiting
• 12:02
  for
• 12:02
  you
• 12:02
  in
• 12:02
  the
• 12:02
  show
• 12:03
  notes
• 12:03
  whenever
• 12:04
  you're
• 12:04
  ready
• 12:05
  to
• 12:05
  meet
• 12:05
  yourself
• 12:06
  there.
• 12:06
  Okay,
• 12:07
  let's
• 12:08
  continue.
• 12:12
  Now
• 12:12
  let's
• 12:12
  bring
• 12:12
  it
• 12:12
  home
• 12:13
  with
• 12:13
  our
• 12:13
  favorite,
• 12:14
  the
• 12:14
  Self
• 12:15
  Love
• 12:15
  two
• 12:16
  step.
• 12:16
  This
• 12:17
  one
• 12:17
  is
• 12:18
  the
• 12:18
  loyalty
• 12:19
  reset.
• 12:20
  This
• 12:20
  isn't
• 12:20
  about
• 12:20
  being
• 12:21
  selfish,
• 12:22
  it's
• 12:22
  about
• 12:23
  being
• 12:23
  honest.
• 12:24
  Step
• 12:24
  one,
• 12:25
  name
• 12:26
  the
• 12:26
  cost.
• 12:27
  Ask
• 12:27
  yourself
• 12:28
  gently
• 12:29
  and
• 12:29
  without
• 12:30
  judgment
• 12:31
  heavy.
• 12:32
  On
• 12:32
  the
• 12:32
  without
• 12:33
  judgment
• 12:33
  part
• 12:33
  friend
• 12:34
  who
• 12:35
  might
• 12:35
  be
• 12:35
  disappointed
• 12:36
  if
• 12:36
  I
• 12:37
  fully
• 12:38
  honored
• 12:38
  my
• 12:38
  truth
• 12:39
  right
• 12:39
  now.
• 12:40
  Not
• 12:40
  to
• 12:40
  shame
• 12:40
  yourself,
• 12:41
  not
• 12:41
  to
• 12:41
  dramatize
• 12:42
  it,
• 12:43
  just
• 12:44
  to
• 12:44
  see
• 12:44
  it
• 12:45
  because
• 12:45
  clarity
• 12:46
  begins
• 12:47
  with
• 12:47
  honesty.
• 12:48
  Acknowledge
• 12:49
  the
• 12:49
  cost
• 12:49
  of
• 12:50
  your
• 12:50
  growth.
• 12:50
  Not
• 12:51
  so
• 12:51
  you
• 12:51
  avoid
• 12:52
  it,
• 12:52
  but
• 12:52
  so
• 12:52
  you
• 12:52
  stop
• 12:53
  pretending
• 12:54
  it
• 12:54
  doesn't
• 12:55
  exist.
• 12:56
  Discomfort
• 12:57
  doesn't
• 12:57
  mean
• 12:58
  you're
• 12:58
  wrong.
• 12:59
  It
• 12:59
  often
• 13:00
  means
• 13:00
  you're
• 13:01
  choosing
• 13:02
  differently.
• 13:03
  And
• 13:03
  step
• 13:04
  two,
• 13:04
  choose
• 13:05
  integrity
• 13:05
  anyway.
• 13:06
  So
• 13:07
  ask
• 13:07
  yourself
• 13:08
  what
• 13:08
  is
• 13:09
  one
• 13:09
  small
• 13:10
  promise
• 13:11
  I
• 13:11
  can
• 13:11
  keep
• 13:12
  with
• 13:12
  myself
• 13:12
  this
• 13:13
  week?
• 13:13
  Even
• 13:14
  if
• 13:14
  it
• 13:15
  ruffles
• 13:15
  feathers,
• 13:16
  not
• 13:17
  a
• 13:17
  grand
• 13:17
  declaration,
• 13:18
  not
• 13:18
  a
• 13:19
  full
• 13:19
  life
• 13:19
  overhaul.
• 13:20
  Okay,
• 13:21
  just
• 13:22
  one
• 13:23
  aligned
• 13:24
  action.
• 13:24
  One
• 13:25
  honest
• 13:26
  follow
• 13:26
  through,
• 13:27
  one
• 13:27
  moment
• 13:28
  where
• 13:28
  you
• 13:28
  don't
• 13:29
  abandon
• 13:29
  yourself.
• 13:30
  Because
• 13:31
  confidence
• 13:31
  doesn't
• 13:32
  grow
• 13:32
  through
• 13:32
  force
• 13:33
  or
• 13:33
  hype.
• 13:34
  It
• 13:34
  grows
• 13:35
  through
• 13:35
  evidence.
• 13:36
  Evidence
• 13:36
  that
• 13:37
  you
• 13:37
  can
• 13:37
  trust
• 13:37
  yourself.
• 13:38
  Evidence
• 13:39
  that
• 13:39
  you
• 13:39
  mean
• 13:40
  what
• 13:40
  you
• 13:41
  say.
• 13:42
  That's
• 13:42
  how
• 13:42
  integrity.
• 13:43
  Becomes
• 13:44
  identity.
• 13:46
  Confidence
• 13:46
  isn't
• 13:47
  built
• 13:47
  just
• 13:48
  by
• 13:48
  being
• 13:48
  fearless.
• 13:49
  It's
• 13:50
  built
• 13:50
  by
• 13:50
  being
• 13:51
  faithful
• 13:51
  to
• 13:51
  yourself,
• 13:52
  and
• 13:53
  the
• 13:53
  more
• 13:53
  consistently
• 13:54
  you
• 13:54
  choose
• 13:55
  you,
• 13:55
  the
• 13:56
  less
• 13:56
  approval
• 13:57
  you'll
• 13:57
  need
• 13:57
  from
• 13:58
  anybody
• 13:59
  else
• 13:59
  because
• 14:00
  you've
• 14:00
  already
• 14:01
  granted
• 14:01
  it
• 14:02
  to
• 14:02
  you.
• 14:03
  Now,
• 14:03
  let
• 14:03
  me
• 14:03
  bore
• 14:03
  into
• 14:04
  you
• 14:04
  real
• 14:04
  quick.
• 14:05
  Hear
• 14:05
  me
• 14:05
  with
• 14:06
  your
• 14:06
  whole
• 14:06
  heart.
• 14:07
  When
• 14:08
  I
• 14:08
  say
• 14:08
  this,
• 14:09
  you
• 14:09
  are
• 14:09
  not
• 14:10
  responsible
• 14:11
  for
• 14:11
  managing
• 14:12
  other
• 14:12
  people's
• 14:13
  comfort
• 14:14
  at
• 14:14
  the
• 14:14
  expense
• 14:15
  of
• 14:16
  your
• 14:16
  calling.
• 14:17
  Let
• 14:18
  them
• 14:18
  be
• 14:18
  surprised.
• 14:19
  Let
• 14:19
  them
• 14:19
  be
• 14:20
  uncomfortable.
• 14:21
  Let
• 14:21
  them
• 14:22
  adjust.
• 14:23
  You
• 14:23
  were
• 14:24
  not
• 14:24
  created
• 14:25
  to
• 14:25
  be
• 14:25
  palatable.
• 14:26
  You
• 14:26
  were
• 14:26
  created
• 14:27
  to
• 14:27
  be
• 14:28
  powerful,
• 14:29
  and
• 14:29
  the
• 14:30
  people
• 14:30
  meant
• 14:31
  to
• 14:31
  walk
• 14:31
  with
• 14:32
  you.
• 14:32
  They
• 14:33
  will
• 14:33
  either
• 14:33
  rise
• 14:34
  to
• 14:34
  meet
• 14:35
  you
• 14:35
  or
• 14:36
  make
• 14:36
  space.
• 14:37
  Either
• 14:37
  way,
• 14:38
  you'll
• 14:38
  be
• 14:39
  free.
• 14:41
  Friend,
• 14:41
  I'm
• 14:41
  gonna
• 14:41
  say
• 14:42
  this
• 14:42
  straight
• 14:43
  up.
• 14:43
  No
• 14:44
  chaser.
• 14:44
  You
• 14:45
  don't
• 14:45
  owe
• 14:46
  anyone
• 14:47
  the
• 14:47
  version
• 14:48
  of
• 14:48
  you
• 14:48
  that
• 14:49
  no
• 14:49
  longer
• 14:50
  exists,
• 14:51
  but
• 14:51
  you
• 14:51
  do.
• 14:52
  Owe
• 14:53
  yourself
• 14:53
  honesty.
• 14:54
  So
• 14:55
  today
• 14:56
  I
• 14:56
  want
• 14:56
  you
• 14:56
  to
• 14:56
  ask
• 14:57
  yourself,
• 14:58
  what
• 14:58
  promise
• 14:58
  have
• 14:59
  I
• 14:59
  been
• 14:59
  avoiding?
• 15:00
  What
• 15:01
  decision
• 15:01
  am
• 15:02
  I
• 15:02
  waiting
• 15:02
  to
• 15:02
  be
• 15:03
  approved?
• 15:04
  Who
• 15:04
  might
• 15:04
  be
• 15:05
  disappointed
• 15:05
  when
• 15:06
  I
• 15:06
  finally
• 15:07
  choose
• 15:07
  myself?
• 15:09
  And
• 15:09
  then
• 15:10
  as
• 15:10
  Mel
• 15:10
  Robbins
• 15:11
  says,
• 15:12
  let
• 15:12
  them,
• 15:13
  let
• 15:13
  them
• 15:13
  be
• 15:14
  disappointed.
• 15:15
  Let
• 15:15
  yourself
• 15:16
  be
• 15:17
  free.
• 15:18
  That's
• 15:18
  confidence.
• 15:22
  Ooh,
• 15:22
  friend.
• 15:24
  If
• 15:24
  this
• 15:24
  episode
• 15:25
  landed
• 15:25
  for
• 15:26
  you,
• 15:26
  if
• 15:26
  something
• 15:27
  unc
• 15:27
  unclenched,
• 15:28
  if
• 15:28
  something
• 15:29
  clicked,
• 15:30
  that's
• 15:30
  your
• 15:31
  soul
• 15:31
  recognizing
• 15:32
  truth.
• 15:33
  Make
• 15:33
  sure
• 15:34
  you're
• 15:34
  subscribed
• 15:34
  so
• 15:35
  you
• 15:35
  don't
• 15:35
  miss
• 15:35
  what's
• 15:35
  coming
• 15:36
  next.
• 15:36
  And
• 15:36
  if
• 15:37
  you
• 15:37
  haven't
• 15:37
  already,
• 15:38
  a,
• 15:38
  leave
• 15:38
  a
• 15:38
  positive
• 15:39
  review,
• 15:40
  not
• 15:40
  just
• 15:40
  for
• 15:41
  the
• 15:41
  algorithm,
• 15:42
  but
• 15:42
  for
• 15:42
  the
• 15:42
  woman
• 15:42
  who
• 15:42
  hasn't
• 15:43
  found
• 15:43
  this
• 15:43
  message
• 15:44
  yet
• 15:44
  and
• 15:44
  needs
• 15:45
  permission.
• 15:46
  Choose
• 15:46
  herself
• 15:47
  because
• 15:48
  around
• 15:48
  here,
• 15:49
  we
• 15:49
  fix
• 15:50
  each
• 15:50
  other's
• 15:50
  crowns.
• 15:51
  Until
• 15:52
  next
• 15:52
  time,
• 15:53
  confidence
• 15:54
  isn't
• 15:54
  loud,
• 15:55
  it's
• 15:55
  aligned,
• 15:56
  and
• 15:57
  it's
• 15:57
  waiting
• 15:57
  for
• 15:57
  you.
• 15:58
  On
• 15:58
  the
• 15:58
  other
• 15:58
  side
• 15:59
  of
• 16:00
  choosing
• 16:01
  yourself,
• 16:02
  go
• 16:03
  be
• 16:03
  her.
• 16:04
  And
• 16:04
  remember
• 16:05
  around
• 16:05
  here,
• 16:06
  we
• 16:06
  don't
• 16:06
  settle.
• 16:07
  We
• 16:08
  shine
• 16:09
  all
• 16:09
  because
• 16:10
  together
• 16:10
  we
• 16:10
  can
• 16:11
  encourage
• 16:12
  over
• 16:12
  everything.