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209. Overthink the Best · Your Enriched Self

0:00
Speaker 1: This is not to trigger anybody, but think about the
0:03
Speaker 1: worst thing that has ever happened to you, right in business,
0:07
Speaker 1: in life, in relationship, whatever, You're still here. You got
0:16
Speaker 1: through that situation and granted I don't know what your
0:20
Speaker 1: situation is, but you're on the other side of it.
0:25
Speaker 1: And I think oftentimes we get stuck and we began
0:29
Speaker 1: to process pain as though we're still there, instead of
0:35
Speaker 1: processing victory and the fact that we were able to
0:39
Speaker 1: emerge from maybe one of the darkest times of your life,
0:44
Speaker 1: or one of the hardened seasons of your life, or
0:47
Speaker 1: one of the most challenging things you've faced in your life.
0:50
Speaker 1: The bottom line is, whatever that thing is, you were
0:54
Speaker 1: able to emerge. You were able to stand up again.
0:58
Speaker 1: You were able to go back into that space again.
1:01
Speaker 1: You were able to have a conversation without crying again.
1:05
Speaker 1: You were able to look yourself in the mirror again
1:08
Speaker 1: and be proud of yourself. I want you to think
1:11
Speaker 1: about that, because we often go and we reverse all
1:16
Speaker 1: the gains that we got out of that pain, only
1:20
Speaker 1: to sit in the pain again. I want to challenge
1:23
Speaker 1: you that today you are going to walk away from
1:27
Speaker 1: that and you are going to stand powerfully you are
1:32
Speaker 1: going to stand in your purpose and that you were
1:35
Speaker 1: able to do it and still be here. Now, Hello,
1:53
Speaker 1: my friends from all across the globe, and welcome so
1:57
Speaker 1: that you're enriched self podcast. I am your host, Mylein Noir.
2:03
Speaker 1: I am an emotional wellness and empowerment coach, and what
2:07
Speaker 1: that means is I am an advocate for you, particularly
2:12
Speaker 1: for your mindset. You see, on average we have anywhere
2:18
Speaker 1: from six thousand to seventy thousand thoughts a day. That
2:23
Speaker 1: means we are processing about four point three thoughts per minute.
2:29
Speaker 1: And when you think about all the activity that you're
2:32
Speaker 1: doing each day and all the places you need to
2:34
Speaker 1: show up, the decision points, the movement, and the action,
2:38
Speaker 1: when do you make time to manage your thoughts? You
2:44
Speaker 1: probably likely don't. And so that's what this podcast was
2:48
Speaker 1: built on, this framework of managing our thoughts, because again,
2:54
Speaker 1: you are showing up in life anyway, and if you're
2:57
Speaker 1: showing up, I know if you're listening, you want to
2:59
Speaker 1: show as the best version of yourself. And it starts
3:03
Speaker 1: with managing your thoughts. Your thoughts will inspire the words
3:06
Speaker 1: you speak, and then that then moves into the action
3:11
Speaker 1: and the activity you take in life, and I want
3:14
Speaker 1: to help you do all of this to become the
3:18
Speaker 1: best version of yourself by enriching your life. So that's
3:23
Speaker 1: what this podcast is all about. If you are new
3:25
Speaker 1: to this podcast, if this is your first time listening,
3:29
Speaker 1: first of all, thank you for being here. And I
3:32
Speaker 1: know I believe for a fact that you are brought
3:34
Speaker 1: here on purpose for a purpose. If you are a
3:39
Speaker 1: repeat listener, I am just so grateful to you all
3:43
Speaker 1: the hugs and the kisses and all the things. I'm
3:48
Speaker 1: giving you your flowers because we have been able to
3:50
Speaker 1: sustain this podcast for now four years and over two
3:55
Speaker 1: hundred episodes. And again, I could not have done that
3:59
Speaker 1: without each and every one of you, So thank you
4:01
Speaker 1: for participating, tuning in, showing up, sharing, liking, posting, sharing
4:09
Speaker 1: your feedback. All those things matter and that's why we
4:12
Speaker 1: are here today. So thank you, thank you, thank you. Now,
4:16
Speaker 1: one of the things I do before we get started
4:18
Speaker 1: with this week's episode, I make a deposit into the
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Speaker 1: bank of you. Yes, you are a bank. You are
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Speaker 1: a walking bank of all the things, and I want
4:29
Speaker 1: to make sure you're not walking out in these streets bankrupt.
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Speaker 1: So what I do is I make a deposit. I
4:34
Speaker 1: do that by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a great
4:38
Speaker 1: way to start your day and to command your mourning.
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Speaker 1: And this week's affirmation is I grow through adversity and
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Speaker 1: emerge more powerful. I grow through adversity and emerge more powerful.
5:05
Speaker 1: I grow through adversity and emerge more powerful. Now, let's
5:14
Speaker 1: get ready for this week's episode of the Your Enriched
5:18
Speaker 1: Self podcast. Okay, I need you to get in here,
5:27
Speaker 1: all my overthinkers, all my people that have had conversation
5:32
Speaker 1: about overthinkers, all of you that are curious. Really, this
5:35
Speaker 1: conversation is for everyone, because I think everyone has been
5:40
Speaker 1: there and we still you still manage your thoughts with
5:45
Speaker 1: an overthinking mentality, and I want to talk through that today. Now.
5:48
Speaker 1: Oftentimes when I have episodes like this, when there's a
5:52
Speaker 1: very specific topic, I like to spend time creating or
5:56
Speaker 1: providing a definition for what it is that we're going
5:59
Speaker 1: to talk about. And so today we're talking about overthinking,
6:03
Speaker 1: and I want you to think about things differently. So
6:08
Speaker 1: let's start with a definition. Overthinking is when your thoughts
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Speaker 1: go into overdrive. You're looping, you're analyzing, you're replaying the
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Speaker 1: possible outcomes. Long after they've stopped being useful. AKA, you're
6:28
Speaker 1: also in this analysis paralysis cycle. Probably heard that before.
6:34
Speaker 1: Here's something I want you to think about. I want
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Speaker 1: this first frame to get in your brain. Overthinking is
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Speaker 1: not problem solving, it's problem rehearsing. I'm gonna repeat that
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Speaker 1: for the people in the back and the people in
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Speaker 1: the back of the people in the back. Overthinking is
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Speaker 1: not problem solving, it's problem rehearsing. And if you are
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Speaker 1: a person who declares to be an overthinker, you know
7:02
Speaker 1: what this operation looks like. It's a lot of chaos.
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Speaker 1: It's a lot. If you've been in a dress rehearsal,
7:09
Speaker 1: if you've been in a show, you understand that that
7:12
Speaker 1: rehearsal process it's clunky. This is not showtime. This is
7:16
Speaker 1: a rehearsal. So that rehearsal season is very messy. It's
7:21
Speaker 1: very busy. There's a lot going on at all times.
7:24
Speaker 1: You don't have it all together yet because you're rehearsing.
7:27
Speaker 1: So you can imagine what's going on in your brain.
7:31
Speaker 1: Is that season of rehearsing, and it's rehearsing a problem.
7:35
Speaker 1: So that adds another level of complexity to this conversation.
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Speaker 1: Of overthinking. Here's another thought I want to plant in
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Speaker 1: your brain and reframe this conversation of overthinking, is that
7:49
Speaker 1: overthinking is a mental energy spend. It's a mental energy spend,
7:58
Speaker 1: and so think about how you spend your dollars. Let's
8:03
Speaker 1: just translate the dollars conversation here. You get to choose
8:07
Speaker 1: how you spend your dollars. So when you think about
8:12
Speaker 1: overthinking again, I want you to think about how am
8:17
Speaker 1: I going to mentally spend the energy that overthinking is.
8:24
Speaker 1: And this framework, this reframework, if you will, is a
8:28
Speaker 1: way to help you see it in a different light
8:31
Speaker 1: because it really is a neutral We've just societal things,
8:36
Speaker 1: societal conversations, all of things has given overthinking a negative connotation.
8:43
Speaker 1: It always has this negativity associated with it, simply because,
8:48
Speaker 1: as I mentioned, it's typically problem rehearsing. It's bringing the
8:56
Speaker 1: problem to life. Even long after you've already walked out
9:00
Speaker 1: of that scenario, you're still back there in that rehearsal
9:03
Speaker 1: process with the problem. You're dancing with a problem. And
9:10
Speaker 1: so we need to reframe that today. That's the crux
9:13
Speaker 1: of this conversation that I want to have with you.
9:18
Speaker 1: And so there's three key points that I really want
9:20
Speaker 1: to drive home as it relates to overthinking the one
9:27
Speaker 1: I just mentioned it already. Overthinking is a directional energy. Again,
9:33
Speaker 1: it's not inherently negative. But we have imaginations. You have
9:39
Speaker 1: an imagination, So once your imagination gets that energy behind it,
9:44
Speaker 1: there's an engine of your imagination. And when that engine
9:48
Speaker 1: starts running, whatever you put in it. Think about your car, right,
9:52
Speaker 1: depending on the type of oil you put in that car.
9:55
Speaker 1: I remember I went for an oil change a few
9:58
Speaker 1: years ago, and I had went to a different you
10:02
Speaker 1: know shop to get my oil change, and this guy
10:05
Speaker 1: talks to me about the viscosity of the oil. And
10:09
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, sir, why are you speaking this language to me?
10:12
Speaker 1: I'm layman when it comes to cars, when it comes
10:15
Speaker 1: to oil in cars, Tell me what you're talking about.
10:18
Speaker 1: Tell me what this all means. Basically, he's saying, there's
10:22
Speaker 1: a grade of oil that you put in your car.
10:24
Speaker 1: And when you go to these you know, cheap you
10:27
Speaker 1: know oil places to get your oil change, they put
10:30
Speaker 1: a heavier oil in your car. So as it goes
10:33
Speaker 1: through the engine, you know, over time, it starts to
10:37
Speaker 1: get really sludgy, right, it starts to get very thick.
10:42
Speaker 1: And what he's saying is the viscosity in the oil.
10:45
Speaker 1: It needs to have a lighter weight. So as time
10:48
Speaker 1: age is on, you're not gonna see the poor performance
10:52
Speaker 1: or the weak performance or the latency things that may
10:56
Speaker 1: happen that eventually can hurt the engine base on the
11:00
Speaker 1: viscosity of the oil. And so think about your overthinking
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Speaker 1: as what it's inherently just a neutral right, right, it's
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Speaker 1: inherently neutral. But the imagination engine that you have, whatever
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Speaker 1: you feed it in, if you feed it in something neutral, right,
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Speaker 1: So like a car engine, it's neutral. There's nothing wrong
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Speaker 1: with your engine, right, But what are you putting in it?
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Speaker 1: Are you going to put in a heavier oil based
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Speaker 1: oil now that you understand viscosity? I mean it changed
11:33
Speaker 1: my mind when I start when I understood this concept.
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Speaker 1: Or are you going to put something a little bit lightweight?
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Speaker 1: Depending on what you put in, the output over time
11:42
Speaker 1: is going to be different. And so that's what I'm
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Speaker 1: asking you to do, is to change the energy, to
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Speaker 1: change the viscosity of what you put in your imagination engine,
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Speaker 1: because that is what we are going to send forward
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Speaker 1: right in the season of changing the directional energy. It's
12:06
Speaker 1: gonna also require you to change your language. One of
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Speaker 1: the languages that come with overthinkers is the negative what ifs,
12:17
Speaker 1: Because there are positive what ifs, you know, what if?
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Speaker 1: What if I win? What If? What if I get
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Speaker 1: the job? What if? But for the overthinker who has
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Speaker 1: framed it as and put in their imagination engine the
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Speaker 1: negative outcome, I'm gonna fail at this. People are gonna
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Speaker 1: laugh at me, people are talking about me, and all
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Speaker 1: these what ifs are coming through that engine of imagination,
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Speaker 1: and so the energies at work. Right, Like I said,
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Speaker 1: it's an energy, it's a directional energy. But what direction
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Speaker 1: are you taking it? Where is it going? Right? Is
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Speaker 1: it going into the what if I fail? Language? What
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Speaker 1: if they reject me language? What if this doesn't work? Language?
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Speaker 1: That's what needs to be looked at, is the language
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Speaker 1: that you're speaking, because whatever energy you put out there,
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Speaker 1: that is part of the few of that imagination engine
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Speaker 1: as well. What if instead you let your mind binge
13:23
Speaker 1: on the best outcomes? What if I get good news?
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Speaker 1: What if the opportunity that I'm looking at is a
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Speaker 1: lot larger than what I see in front of me.
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Speaker 1: What if I actually win this thing. What if I
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Speaker 1: actually thrive as I'm going through this thing, what if
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Speaker 1: I come out on top. So again, you can binge
13:49
Speaker 1: one way or the other, but it just depends on
13:52
Speaker 1: what you put in that imagination engine. A few years ago,
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Speaker 1: this is my second point. A few years ago, I
14:00
Speaker 1: did an episode on affirmations or worry being affirmations in
14:08
Speaker 1: the wrong direction. So at the top of the podcast,
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Speaker 1: I always make a deposit into the bank of you,
14:16
Speaker 1: and I do it by way of affirmations. And so
14:19
Speaker 1: affirmations are giving yourself a new truth. It may not
14:24
Speaker 1: necessarily be true now, but when you affirm yourself before
14:29
Speaker 1: you even step into the day, you're creating an affirmation.
14:32
Speaker 1: You're creating a process. You're feeding that imagination engine with
14:37
Speaker 1: language that supports where you want to go. And so
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Speaker 1: worry does the opposite. Worry is when overthinking is being
14:47
Speaker 1: used negatively, when that overthinking energy is used negatively, and
14:50
Speaker 1: so you're rehearsing failure. When you worry, you're rehearsing failure.
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Speaker 1: And I told you that when you are overthinking, you're
15:03
Speaker 1: not problem solving your problem, rehearsing. So worry, like overthinking,
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Speaker 1: is rehearsing the failure. What if it doesn't work, You're
15:16
Speaker 1: having all these negative affirmations, because yes, affirmations are neutral too.
15:24
Speaker 1: There are positive and negative affirmations. What are you saying.
15:29
Speaker 1: Think about some of the top athletes, you know. I
15:33
Speaker 1: heard this with Gabby Thomas, who is a I think
15:38
Speaker 1: she's a two hundred meter sprinter at the Olympics. She
15:43
Speaker 1: kept affirming herself that she would successfully win that, you know,
15:50
Speaker 1: that category. She ended up winning a few more categories
15:54
Speaker 1: you know as well, But she kept her eyes focused,
15:59
Speaker 1: she kept her mind. So imagine what was in her
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Speaker 1: imagination engine as she was processing and thinking about that win.
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Speaker 1: The affirmations as she said, I am the Olympic winner,
16:12
Speaker 1: I'm the goal medalists, I'm representing my country as the
16:17
Speaker 1: goal medalist winner in the two hundred meter right, and
16:21
Speaker 1: so those things matter. You hear that a lot. Serena
16:25
Speaker 1: Williams is another example of using affirmations and visualization to
16:31
Speaker 1: help them, not just when they're on the court, but
16:34
Speaker 1: when they're off the court. A lot of people think
16:37
Speaker 1: your practice. For a lot of these athletes are only
16:40
Speaker 1: what they do physically. There's a lot of mental work
16:44
Speaker 1: that goes into what they do. Day to day. By
16:48
Speaker 1: the time you see them, they've done mental work, and
16:52
Speaker 1: so that's why they can stay focused with hundreds of
16:54
Speaker 1: thousands of people watching them, you know, whether it's by
16:58
Speaker 1: media or you know, in these stands that they are
17:02
Speaker 1: in with all these fans, they can stay focused because
17:05
Speaker 1: they've done the mental work to be there. And so
17:09
Speaker 1: that winning mindset, when you create that space over and
17:13
Speaker 1: over and over again you overthink, that becomes affirmations towards
17:21
Speaker 1: your victory. So you're changing the imagination engine and you're
17:26
Speaker 1: using that energy for the positivity. You're choosing to believe hope,
17:35
Speaker 1: you're choosing to believe a positive outcome, and you are
17:38
Speaker 1: affirming your success. The last point I want to bring
17:44
Speaker 1: forward is the best outcome is just as likely as
17:51
Speaker 1: the worst, so why not choose it? The best outcome
17:55
Speaker 1: is just as likely as the worst. It's like we've
17:59
Speaker 1: heard forever, there's a fifty to fifty shot at everything.
18:04
Speaker 1: The problem with overthinkers people are call themselves overthinkers, which
18:08
Speaker 1: I hope you're thinking about. Overthinking pun intended differently now
18:14
Speaker 1: because it's not a negative, it's a neutral, right, But
18:19
Speaker 1: it's a fifty to fifty shot that it could be
18:23
Speaker 1: one thing or another. Once you recognize that, you can
18:29
Speaker 1: move past and start creating a new potential outcome. But
18:35
Speaker 1: our brains, through many years of hardwiring and programming, TV,
18:42
Speaker 1: programming shows, movies, music, media, all of the things, it's
18:49
Speaker 1: used that hardwire to bring in negative biases. Right, So
18:57
Speaker 1: our survival mechanisms to stay alive and all the things
19:01
Speaker 1: that we use often to protect ourselves absolutely end up
19:08
Speaker 1: paralyzing us. I spoke about that on an episode when
19:12
Speaker 1: I spoke about parents that want to keep their kids
19:16
Speaker 1: home because they want to keep them safe. But in
19:18
Speaker 1: keeping them safe, they're not allowing them to love and
19:23
Speaker 1: learn and live in life, and so they don't get
19:27
Speaker 1: those lessons, and when they go out they start to
19:31
Speaker 1: overthink because they don't understand right that the best outcome
19:37
Speaker 1: is just as likely as the worst, and you can
19:42
Speaker 1: go out there and get this fifty to fifty shot
19:45
Speaker 1: and you'll be okay either way. That's hard for people
19:48
Speaker 1: to understand because we've been hardwired to believe all the
19:51
Speaker 1: biases that if you fail, you fail forever. No, when
19:55
Speaker 1: you fail, quote unquote fail, you have an opportunity to
19:58
Speaker 1: learn and do something different. Have a different outcome, But
20:01
Speaker 1: we don't think about that way think about COVID. The
20:05
Speaker 1: pandemic was really that life lesson classroom for everybody to
20:11
Speaker 1: be in young, old, black, white, religious backgrounds. No one
20:16
Speaker 1: was exempt from the COVID nineteen pandemic. Right. We saw
20:20
Speaker 1: a lot of businesses fail, but we saw a lot
20:22
Speaker 1: of businesses triumphs. We saw a lot of businesses fold,
20:27
Speaker 1: but we saw a lot of people lean into Okay,
20:30
Speaker 1: what can I imagine? What can I think about and
20:35
Speaker 1: pivot to put myself and keep myself on the map
20:39
Speaker 1: or get back on the map, because so many things
20:41
Speaker 1: and places and businesses were off the map, right, even
20:45
Speaker 1: big businesses. You know, we learned our companies, our corporate
20:49
Speaker 1: offices learned how to over a few weeks felt like
20:54
Speaker 1: maybe a week or so for us to work from home.
20:57
Speaker 1: I mean we already had a model to work from
20:59
Speaker 1: home when you talk about people that are working kind
21:01
Speaker 1: of in the corporate space, but when you think about
21:04
Speaker 1: sales associates, people that work in call centers, those types
21:08
Speaker 1: of frameworks and how to operationalize that, that was a
21:14
Speaker 1: big opportunity to really think about the best and the worst,
21:20
Speaker 1: And there was a lot of trial and error, as
21:22
Speaker 1: you can imagine, and eventually we learned how to do it,
21:25
Speaker 1: and then we unraveled all the things and we're back
21:27
Speaker 1: in the office. But the whole point is, there is
21:31
Speaker 1: a way. We learned how to make it work. As
21:36
Speaker 1: we were trying to operationalize, how to have salespeople work
21:40
Speaker 1: from home and customer service people work from home and
21:43
Speaker 1: all the things. We tried things and we said, well,
21:48
Speaker 1: what if this works. That was a mentality, let's try it.
21:52
Speaker 1: We've never done it before. We have to come up
21:53
Speaker 1: with something that's going to be workable and helpful and
21:58
Speaker 1: effective if it works. What if we had that mentality
22:02
Speaker 1: and that what if it works mentality was actually utilized
22:06
Speaker 1: quite a bit during COVID because people were willing to
22:09
Speaker 1: try anything to just say afloat and some of the
22:12
Speaker 1: things worked and some of the things didn't. But you
22:14
Speaker 1: have a fifty to fifty shot, and that's okay, that's okay.
22:21
Speaker 1: I think about two On a personal level, some people
22:24
Speaker 1: are afraid to apply for a job, or maybe apply
22:29
Speaker 1: to a college or put themselves out there because they
22:32
Speaker 1: look at it as I'm gonna get rejected. But it's
22:37
Speaker 1: a fifty to fifty shot. Once again, it's a fifty
22:41
Speaker 1: fifty shot. And if you go into it just knowing
22:45
Speaker 1: that there is a potential, what if it actually works?
22:49
Speaker 1: What if I apply and I'm selected? What if you
22:54
Speaker 1: went in with that mentality knowing that it's a fifty
22:57
Speaker 1: to fifty shot. So I just I hope that you
23:01
Speaker 1: are seeing and you're getting to understand overthinking, and you're
23:06
Speaker 1: starting to peel away the negative biases. You're starting to
23:09
Speaker 1: peel away that it's a positive or negative thing, and
23:14
Speaker 1: you're starting to see it as a neutral. You're starting
23:16
Speaker 1: to understand that your imagination is where it all starts,
23:21
Speaker 1: and whatever you put into that imagination engine is going
23:24
Speaker 1: to generate out the result that you have, the result
23:28
Speaker 1: that you have to deal with, and that you can
23:32
Speaker 1: change the picture around overthinking. You can no longer and
23:38
Speaker 1: you no longer have to rehearse the problem. You can
23:43
Speaker 1: rehearse the potential, you can rehearse the win, you can
23:47
Speaker 1: rehearse the opportunity. Listen, your imagination doesn't charge extra for
23:56
Speaker 1: you to hope. There's no extra charge to hope. If
24:00
Speaker 1: you can overthink the worst, you can just as easily
24:05
Speaker 1: overthink the best and If you do that and you're
24:11
Speaker 1: intentional about doing that, you can watch your life rise
24:17
Speaker 1: to the occasion and you can do some amazing things
24:23
Speaker 1: with your imagination. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode
24:35
Speaker 1: of the Urine Ritsub podcast. And the only way I'm
24:38
Speaker 1: gonna know this is if you leave me some feedback.
24:40
Speaker 1: Feedback is a gift and it is free to give,
24:43
Speaker 1: and I would like to hear from you. I would
24:45
Speaker 1: like to know what resonated with you regarding this week's episode.
24:49
Speaker 1: Now here's how you leave feedback on the platform and
24:52
Speaker 1: which you listen to this podcast. Follow the stars when
24:55
Speaker 1: you get there, leave a five star rating. But in
24:58
Speaker 1: all seriousness, when you get there, you can share your
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Speaker 1: feedback on this podcast and that helps us. And when
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25:09
Speaker 1: find us in these podcast streets. So we would definitely
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Speaker 1: you can share this on your socials. You can find
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Speaker 1: me primarily on Instagram, because that's my jam, that's where
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Speaker 1: I am. You can find me at my Enriched Self
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Speaker 1: that's M Y E n R I c h E
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Speaker 1: D s E l F. And you can hashtag this episode.
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Speaker 1: You can tag me. I would love to hear from you,
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Speaker 1: so you can showcase your friends and families and those
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Speaker 1: in the social streets what you're listening to and what's
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Speaker 1: feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also want you
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Speaker 1: to check out the show show notes. In the show notes,
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Speaker 1: we have the affirmation of the Week, the quote of
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Speaker 1: the week, and there you can also find my Amazon shop.
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Speaker 1: The Your enrich Self shop has two items right now,
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Speaker 1: a journal which is the Show Up Everyday Journal, as
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Speaker 1: well as the Show Up Everyday Notebook. So check those
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Speaker 1: out in my Amazon shops. And finally, take what you
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Speaker 1: can from this episode and do what you must in
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Speaker 1: the next one hundred and sixty eight hours so that
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Speaker 1: you can become more of your enriched self until we
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Speaker 1: meet again.