Latest / JOY LOVING HOME - SAHM, Productivity, Home Organization, Declutter, ADHD Mom, ADHD SAHM, ADHD Brain / 279: Are You Willfully Stuck? Break Free from Procrastination

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279: Are You Willfully Stuck? Break Free from Procrastination · JOY LOVING HOME - SAHM, Productivity, Home Organization, Declutter, ADHD Mom, ADHD SAHM, ADHD Brain

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  So I just wrapped up a four-part series in the last four episodes on things
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  that are keeping you stuck, which is super helpful when you're feeling paralyzed
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  about how to start or where to start.
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  And that's super useful. I'm very proud of that series.
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  But what if you realize that you might be actively staying stuck?
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  Work. We could call this avoiding or willfully procrastinating.
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  Let's dig into what we can do if that's what's happening.
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  A wise person once said, everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its
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  ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it's stupid.
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  Well, fish, quit trying to climb trees while getting advice from well-intentioned monkeys.
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  It's time to jump in the water and learn how to swim with the current of your life I'm Joy
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  a professional organizer mom of four and fellow fish brain if you're looking
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  for a place to get understanding encouragement and ideas for your home that
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  actually fit how your brain thinks,
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  then I'm glad you're here let's ditch the type A advice and embrace what makes
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  our brains and our homes unique together we could have a joy loving home.
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  This particular topic has been
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  very real in my current life because in my latest round of empty nesting,
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  I have been really, really struggling getting myself into gear.
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  And it's such a contrast to as the summer was dragging on and there was so much
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  activity. And I kept thinking, as soon as everybody goes back to school,
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  I've got X, Y, and Z, and I'm so excited to do all of these things.
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  And you build up in your head, whether you're empty nesting or your kids are
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  actually back in, you know, time away from you at school.
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  And I know that this is very specific to parents who have kids underfoot that
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  then they actually get a school-related break.
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  If you are retired, you might feel this. if you don't have a specific...
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  Structure to your day, this excess time, this gift of time suddenly has an incredible
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  amount of pressure related to it.
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  And I suppose, and it's hard for me to imagine because I have not worked a traditional
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  job in a very, very long time.
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  And honestly, I didn't really ever work a traditional job and parent at the same time.
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  So more power to those of you that do.
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  But when you, the one part I will say I feel like I could relate this to is
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  when you are given the gift of time,
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  the pressure to not squander it is really heavy.
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  And I think that is that similar feeling in this particular empty nesting time is
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  I gave myself a whole lot of grace last year, which is my first year experiencing
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  it of, well, this is new and you have to adjust and things are weird.
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  And I'm really actually quite good at giving myself grace, probably to my own detriment.
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  Something I think a lot of you need to learn more of, but sometimes I can go too far. And.
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  So I'm really good, and you might feel yourself in this statement as well,
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  at giving yourself very believable excuses as to why you haven't started yet.
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  So it's the, well, this is literally about to happen, so as soon as I get that
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  done, then it'll feel like I'm really starting.
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  Or, well, you know, it doesn't really start until after like that first full, full week of Labor Day.
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  And then, well, I can't really, everybody's going to be home again for this other thing.
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  And then there's that other big activity coming up. And if I can just get through
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  that activity, and then there's like this wide open stretch of,
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  of a lot of space before, but then, uh, you know, Thanksgiving's going to hit
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  and then Christmas is going to hit.
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  And I really should focus on that before I do this other thing.
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  And so like January, January feels good. And then the next thing you know,
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  you have squandered months, months of time.
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  And you're beating yourself up and frustrated in the fact that like,
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  what, why, why am I not jumping all in here?
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  Like what, what is happening? And that's when you have to get super real with
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  yourself about, am I stuck?
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  Or am I avoiding? Am I willfully procrastinating against actually tackling this
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  task that in my head I'm excited about? In my head I made plans for?
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  In my head, I couldn't wait for this moment. So the moment is here, where is the action?
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  And this is a hard one because you need to sit with what are you protecting yourself from?
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  And this digs into, and I am not a psychiatrist, I'm not a psychologist,
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  I'm not a medical doctor, I'm not any of those things.
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  This is just experience that I believe a lot of people have had.
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  And so if I'm the only one, I'm the only one. But I feel like the number of
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  times you guys reach out and say, yeah, I felt this.
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  Are you avoiding because you're scared to screw it up again?
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  You don't want to fail again. You don't want to let...
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  The people around you down. You don't want to waste money, and you don't want
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  to waste time. And you can think of a million reasons why this is not going to go perfectly right.
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  And you can even tell yourself, well, I'm not looking for perfect.
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  That's not what it is.
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  But it is protecting yourself from the mess up and advance so much that you're,
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  paralyzed and it's a different kind of stuck than the type of stuck where you're
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  just not sure where to start.
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  It's a different kind of stuck than you don't know what to do first.
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  It's the kind of stuck where if you're honest, you know you know what you could
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  be doing, but you cannot get yourself to take the action on it.
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  And the fix for this is kind of twofold.
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  One is that you have to recognize it.
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  And you have to remind yourself that being stuck is also a form of that type
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  of failure that you're afraid of.
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  If you're honest, you're as frustrated as yourself for not taking some sort
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  of action as you would be if you took an action and messed it up.
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  Because we can coach ourselves through something that goes wrong and understanding
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  that we at least gave it a try and that we did learn something from it.
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  And that while that was lousy, at least I was moving.
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  There's a very special kind of disappointment and frustration in yourself for
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  not doing any form of action and just squandering this gift of time.
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  So if you're open to admitting to yourself that this is actually worse.
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  And you say to yourself, okay, I've got to figure out something that's going
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  to help me get over this fear.
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  I had a really great interview with Dana K. White about her new book coming out.
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  It's called Procrastinators Get Stuff Done. And she digs into a five-step process
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  that she's created to help people overcome procrastinating.
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  And I'm so looking forward to hearing that interview. It will air next week.
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  I am dropping this way too late on a Friday. So if you happen to be listening
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  to this Monday, it will be coming out on Tuesday.
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  So just stay tuned for that. It's already recorded. I just have to touch up
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  the edits and get it out to y'all. But her new book is available for pre-order.
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  I am five chapters in, six chapters in. It's so good.
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  It resonates with our brains. If you think that I resonate with you,
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  you are going to love this book.
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  But one of the things that she, one of the tips she gives without spoiling the
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  interview, because I'm not going to go into her five-step process,
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  but we go over it in the interview.
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  One of the things that she wants you to do is acknowledge one teeny tiny step,
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  that you are going to have to do anyway, once you finally get this thing underway,
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  that you could be like, okay, I could get myself to do that one teeny tidy chunk
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  of this process because it's going to have to be done anyway once I get brave enough to do this. And.
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  It's a step that, I should say, taking that step can often unlock what we need.
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  To help us go, you're in motion now, so let's get going with this.
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  You took the hardest step, which was that first step, and it didn't have to
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  be a step labeled number one.
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  One of my favorite things about her steps is there is something to do with planning,
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  but it's not going to fall where you think it should fall.
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  But I'm quite confident you can think of at least one step in the process that
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  you can go, well, I'll do this part.
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  I will make myself a deal that I'm going to do this part of it to get yourself
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  moving in that direction.
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  And then the other piece and the piece I feel very passionate about that makes
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  a huge, huge difference because even in this stuck place that I have been in right now,
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  the only day I've been able to get myself to make progress has been on Tuesdays.
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  And do you know what the magic of Tuesdays is?
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  It's that in my membership group, we have Tackle It Tuesdays,
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  and I host Zoom calls, and people show up.
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  And they make me accountable to myself in a way that I cannot explain unless
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  you get to experience it.
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  All of us protect Tuesdays now like they are gold because that is the day we
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  get stuff done because we are accountable to each other.
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  And it is huge.
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  When all the other things are failing, that type of accountability with people
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  who are not judging us and who are encouraging us and who are just there doing their thing,
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  makes you take steps in the right direction.
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  So I am putting this out there one more time to say Fish School,
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  which is the name of my membership group for Fish Brains Like Us, is open right now.
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  And I would so love to have you join us in there, if for no other reason than
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  to take advantage of the Tuesdays.
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  It is, it is, I'm going to, it's life changing.
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  And I want you to have that change in your life. I am passionate that that type
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  of accountability can honestly make so much of a difference.
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  So I have sent out a newsletter this month, if you want to peak for it,
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  if you're in my newsletters, with a link to get into fish school.
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  There's also some cool photos in there of some stuff that happened in September
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  in my life that gives tips on various things.
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  I have sent out the notice to my membership waitlist group.
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  With the links there. I will put the links in the show notes,
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  but you just have to go to joylovinghome.com or joylovinghome.com slash membership.
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  Either place, you will see the Fish School information.
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  You can jump in $10 a month and be a part of this type of accountability because.
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  It's worth it if you can't find any other way to take steps in your life towards
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  the things that you want and you have found yourself squandering this time.
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  If you have gone, Joy, I listened to all the unstuck things. I resonated with some.
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  I'm going to try and do those things, but I feel like I'm actively avoiding.
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  I can't step forward with my procrastination. I can't figure out how to get motion.
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  You need to be part of that group. So I will stop there because I want to get
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  this out and stay tuned for that.
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  But the very next episode is going to be my interview with Dana K. White.
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  And yeah, I think that's it. Until next time, continue to choose joy.