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Transcript

320. Take Back Your Life: The Case Against Responsibility Hoarding · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

• 0:00
  Hey,
• 0:00
  my
• 0:01
  friend,
• 0:02
  listen.
• 0:03
  I
• 0:03
  have
• 0:03
  been
• 0:04
  so
• 0:05
  sick,
• 0:05
  you
• 0:06
  may
• 0:06
  or
• 0:06
  may
• 0:06
  not
• 0:07
  have
• 0:07
  noticed
• 0:07
  that
• 0:07
  last
• 0:08
  week
• 0:08
  I
• 0:08
  did
• 0:08
  not
• 0:09
  put
• 0:10
  an
• 0:10
  episode
• 0:10
  up.
• 0:11
  And
• 0:11
  that
• 0:11
  is
• 0:12
  because
• 0:12
  I
• 0:12
  felt
• 0:13
  so
• 0:13
  exceptionally
• 0:14
  unwell.
• 0:15
  And
• 0:15
  the
• 0:15
  truth
• 0:15
  of
• 0:15
  the
• 0:16
  matter
• 0:16
  is,
• 0:16
  while
• 0:16
  I
• 0:17
  do
• 0:17
  feel
• 0:17
  better,
• 0:18
  I
• 0:18
  do
• 0:18
  not
• 0:18
  feel
• 0:19
  a
• 0:19
  hundred
• 0:19
  percent,
• 0:20
  not
• 0:20
  even
• 0:20
  close.
• 0:21
  And
• 0:21
  so
• 0:22
  I
• 0:22
  have
• 0:22
  decided
• 0:23
  to
• 0:24
  give
• 0:24
  you
• 0:25
  one
• 0:25
  of
• 0:25
  my
• 0:26
  early
• 0:26
  episodes.
• 0:27
  I'm
• 0:28
  re
• 0:28
  releasing
• 0:29
  it
• 0:29
  for
• 0:29
  you
• 0:29
  to
• 0:30
  listen
• 0:30
  to.
• 0:31
  This
• 0:31
  episode
• 0:31
  is
• 0:32
  all
• 0:32
  about
• 0:32
  responsibility,
• 0:33
  hoarding.
• 0:34
  And
• 0:34
  what's
• 0:34
  fascinating
• 0:35
  is
• 0:35
  that
• 0:35
  I
• 0:36
  recorded
• 0:36
  it
• 0:36
  over
• 0:37
  five
• 0:37
  years
• 0:37
  ago,
• 0:38
  and
• 0:39
  it
• 0:39
  is
• 0:39
  still
• 0:40
  one
• 0:40
  of
• 0:40
  the
• 0:41
  best
• 0:41
  episodes
• 0:41
  I've
• 0:41
  ever
• 0:42
  recorded.
• 0:43
  So
• 0:43
  buckle
• 0:44
  up,
• 0:45
  grab
• 0:45
  a
• 0:45
  pen
• 0:45
  if
• 0:45
  you've
• 0:46
  got
• 0:46
  one.
• 0:46
  Listen
• 0:47
  in.
• 0:48
  Let's
• 0:48
  talk
• 0:48
  about
• 0:48
  this.
• 0:50
  Are
• 0:50
  you
• 0:50
  a
• 0:51
  responsibility
• 0:51
  hoarder?
• 0:52
  And
• 0:52
  if
• 0:52
  so,
• 0:53
  here's
• 0:53
  what
• 0:53
  you
• 0:53
  need
• 0:54
  to
• 0:54
  know
• 0:54
  about
• 0:54
  it.
• 1:01
  Hi
• 1:01
  there,
• 1:01
  my
• 1:02
  name
• 1:02
  is
• 1:02
  Amanda
• 1:03
  Hess,
• 1:03
  and
• 1:03
  I
• 1:03
  am
• 1:04
  a
• 1:04
  certified
• 1:04
  life
• 1:04
  coach.
• 1:05
  Welcome
• 1:06
  to
• 1:06
  the
• 1:06
  how
• 1:06
  to
• 1:07
  Love
• 1:07
  Yourself
• 1:08
  no
• 1:08
  Matter
• 1:08
  what
• 1:09
  podcast,
• 1:09
  where
• 1:10
  you
• 1:10
  are
• 1:10
  going
• 1:10
  to
• 1:11
  learn
• 1:11
  how
• 1:11
  to
• 1:11
  start
• 1:11
  loving
• 1:12
  yourself,
• 1:13
  trusting
• 1:13
  yourself,
• 1:14
  and
• 1:14
  believing
• 1:15
  in
• 1:15
  yourself
• 1:16
  for
• 1:16
  good.
• 1:17
  Hello,
• 1:18
  and
• 1:18
  welcome
• 1:19
  to
• 1:19
  episode
• 1:20
  number
• 1:21
  21.
• 1:23
  Okay,
• 1:24
  before
• 1:24
  we
• 1:24
  get
• 1:24
  into
• 1:25
  it,
• 1:25
  I
• 1:25
  want
• 1:25
  to
• 1:26
  tell
• 1:26
  you
• 1:26
  guys
• 1:27
  something
• 1:27
  that
• 1:27
  is
• 1:27
  going
• 1:27
  to
• 1:28
  maybe
• 1:28
  make
• 1:28
  you
• 1:28
  laugh.
• 1:29
  So
• 1:29
  I
• 1:30
  was
• 1:30
  laying
• 1:31
  in
• 1:31
  bed
• 1:31
  after
• 1:32
  having
• 1:32
  a
• 1:32
  day
• 1:33
  that
• 1:33
  I
• 1:33
  had
• 1:33
  a
• 1:33
  lot
• 1:34
  of
• 1:34
  just
• 1:34
  a
• 1:34
  lot
• 1:34
  of
• 1:34
  different
• 1:34
  balls
• 1:35
  in
• 1:35
  the
• 1:35
  air.
• 1:35
  I
• 1:36
  had
• 1:36
  a
• 1:36
  lot
• 1:36
  of
• 1:36
  calls
• 1:36
  this
• 1:37
  morning.
• 1:37
  I
• 1:37
  had
• 1:38
  some
• 1:38
  discovery
• 1:38
  calls
• 1:39
  with
• 1:39
  some
• 1:39
  potential
• 1:40
  new
• 1:40
  clients,
• 1:41
  people
• 1:41
  that
• 1:41
  were
• 1:42
  looking
• 1:42
  to
• 1:43
  make
• 1:43
  change
• 1:43
  in
• 1:43
  their
• 1:44
  life
• 1:44
  and
• 1:44
  really
• 1:45
  getting
• 1:45
  into
• 1:45
  them
• 1:46
  and
• 1:46
  what
• 1:46
  was
• 1:46
  happening
• 1:47
  for
• 1:47
  them.
• 1:48
  And
• 1:48
  then
• 1:48
  I
• 1:49
  had
• 1:49
  to
• 1:49
  go
• 1:49
  and
• 1:50
  buy
• 1:50
  a
• 1:50
  new
• 1:50
  microwave
• 1:51
  because
• 1:51
  ours
• 1:52
  kind
• 1:52
  of
• 1:52
  blew
• 1:52
  up.
• 1:52
  Like,
• 1:53
  it
• 1:53
  didn't
• 1:53
  really
• 1:54
  blow
• 1:54
  up,
• 1:54
  but.
• 1:55
  The
• 1:55
  glass
• 1:55
  plate
• 1:56
  that
• 1:56
  spins
• 1:56
  around
• 1:57
  did.
• 1:57
  Break
• 1:58
  into
• 1:58
  multiple
• 1:58
  pieces
• 1:59
  for
• 2:00
  reasons
• 2:00
  unknown.
• 2:01
  And
• 2:01
  there
• 2:01
  was
• 2:01
  some
• 2:01
  rust
• 2:01
  inside.
• 2:02
  And
• 2:02
  ultimately
• 2:02
  it
• 2:03
  was
• 2:03
  a
• 2:03
  very
• 2:03
  sketchy
• 2:04
  microwave
• 2:04
  and
• 2:05
  it
• 2:05
  was
• 2:05
  time
• 2:05
  for
• 2:05
  it
• 2:05
  to
• 2:06
  go,
• 2:06
  so
• 2:06
  went
• 2:07
  and
• 2:07
  bought
• 2:07
  a
• 2:07
  new
• 2:07
  microwave.
• 2:08
  I
• 2:08
  went
• 2:08
  and
• 2:08
  saw
• 2:08
  a
• 2:09
  chiropractor
• 2:09
  for
• 2:09
  the
• 2:10
  first
• 2:10
  time
• 2:10
  in
• 2:10
  a
• 2:10
  year,
• 2:10
  which
• 2:11
  is
• 2:11
  a
• 2:12
  godsend,
• 2:12
  to
• 2:12
  be
• 2:12
  honest
• 2:13
  with
• 2:13
  you.
• 2:13
  I
• 2:13
  have
• 2:14
  neck
• 2:14
  issues.
• 2:14
  I
• 2:14
  have
• 2:15
  a
• 2:15
  bulging
• 2:15
  disc.
• 2:15
  I
• 2:16
  have
• 2:16
  some
• 2:16
  arthritis.
• 2:17
  I
• 2:17
  just
• 2:17
  have
• 2:17
  some
• 2:17
  problems
• 2:18
  with
• 2:18
  my
• 2:18
  neck
• 2:18
  that
• 2:19
  have
• 2:19
  gone
• 2:19
  unaddressed
• 2:20
  for
• 2:20
  a
• 2:20
  while.
• 2:21
  So
• 2:22
  it
• 2:22
  was
• 2:22
  so
• 2:23
  amazing
• 2:23
  to
• 2:23
  be
• 2:24
  able
• 2:24
  to
• 2:24
  go
• 2:24
  and
• 2:24
  see
• 2:24
  a
• 2:25
  chiropractor
• 2:25
  today,
• 2:26
  but
• 2:27
  just
• 2:27
  with
• 2:27
  all
• 2:27
  of
• 2:27
  the
• 2:27
  things
• 2:28
  that
• 2:28
  we
• 2:28
  were
• 2:29
  doing.
• 2:29
  Plus
• 2:29
  I.
• 2:29
  I
• 2:30
  bought
• 2:30
  myself
• 2:30
  a
• 2:30
  plant.
• 2:31
  Because
• 2:31
  tomorrow
• 2:31
  is
• 2:32
  my
• 2:32
  birthday.
• 2:33
  And
• 2:33
  I
• 2:34
  made
• 2:34
  a
• 2:34
  promise
• 2:34
  to
• 2:35
  myself
• 2:35
  a
• 2:36
  while
• 2:36
  back.
• 2:37
  My
• 2:37
  mom
• 2:37
  passed
• 2:38
  away
• 2:38
  in
• 2:38
  2014,
• 2:39
  and
• 2:40
  I
• 2:40
  decided
• 2:40
  that
• 2:41
  my
• 2:42
  mom
• 2:42
  had
• 2:42
  a
• 2:42
  real
• 2:42
  green
• 2:43
  thumb.
• 2:43
  Like,
• 2:43
  my
• 2:43
  mom
• 2:44
  just
• 2:44
  did
• 2:44
  really
• 2:45
  well
• 2:45
  with
• 2:45
  plants.
• 2:46
  And
• 2:46
  it
• 2:47
  was
• 2:47
  something
• 2:47
  that
• 2:47
  I
• 2:48
  struggled
• 2:48
  to
• 2:48
  like
• 2:49
  for
• 2:49
  a
• 2:49
  really
• 2:49
  long
• 2:50
  time.
• 2:50
  But
• 2:51
  as
• 2:51
  I've
• 2:52
  gotten
• 2:52
  older,
• 2:53
  plants
• 2:53
  have
• 2:53
  just
• 2:53
  become
• 2:54
  this
• 2:54
  thing
• 2:54
  that
• 2:54
  I
• 2:54
  really
• 2:55
  enjoy.
• 2:55
  And
• 2:56
  anyways,
• 2:57
  it's
• 2:57
  my
• 2:57
  mom's
• 2:58
  birthday
• 2:58
  in
• 2:58
  Febr
• 2:58
  February
• 2:59
  as
• 2:59
  well,
• 2:59
  so
• 3:00
  I
• 3:00
  actually
• 3:00
  went
• 3:00
  and
• 3:01
  picked
• 3:01
  myself
• 3:02
  up
• 3:02
  a
• 3:03
  plant
• 3:04
  to
• 3:04
  put
• 3:04
  in
• 3:04
  the
• 3:04
  corner
• 3:05
  of
• 3:05
  my
• 3:05
  new
• 3:05
  house.
• 3:06
  I
• 3:06
  had
• 3:06
  a
• 3:07
  really
• 3:07
  beautiful
• 3:07
  plant
• 3:08
  that
• 3:08
  my
• 3:08
  mom
• 3:08
  had
• 3:08
  given
• 3:08
  me
• 3:08
  that
• 3:09
  was
• 3:09
  humongous.
• 3:09
  And
• 3:10
  unfortunately,
• 3:10
  it
• 3:10
  just
• 3:11
  didn't
• 3:11
  make
• 3:11
  the
• 3:11
  journey
• 3:12
  here.
• 3:12
  It
• 3:12
  wouldn't
• 3:13
  have
• 3:13
  made
• 3:13
  it.
• 3:13
  It
• 3:14
  wouldn't
• 3:14
  have
• 3:14
  made
• 3:14
  it
• 3:14
  in
• 3:14
  the
• 3:14
  moving
• 3:15
  truck.
• 3:15
  And
• 3:15
  there
• 3:16
  was
• 3:16
  no
• 3:16
  way
• 3:16
  for
• 3:16
  me
• 3:17
  to
• 3:17
  get
• 3:17
  it
• 3:17
  here
• 3:17
  because
• 3:17
  it
• 3:17
  was
• 3:18
  so
• 3:18
  large
• 3:18
  it
• 3:18
  wouldn't
• 3:18
  fit
• 3:19
  in
• 3:19
  my
• 3:19
  vehicle.
• 3:19
  So
• 3:20
  just
• 3:20
  feel
• 3:21
  really
• 3:21
  excited
• 3:21
  about
• 3:21
  having
• 3:22
  that
• 3:22
  plant.
• 3:22
  But
• 3:23
  this
• 3:23
  isn't
• 3:23
  what
• 3:23
  this
• 3:24
  story
• 3:24
  is
• 3:24
  all
• 3:24
  about.
• 3:25
  The
• 3:25
  reason
• 3:25
  why
• 3:25
  I'm
• 3:25
  telling
• 3:26
  you
• 3:26
  this
• 3:26
  is
• 3:26
  because
• 3:27
  with
• 3:27
  everything
• 3:28
  that
• 3:28
  I
• 3:28
  had
• 3:28
  done
• 3:28
  today,
• 3:29
  I
• 3:29
  hadn't
• 3:30
  sa
• 3:30
  down
• 3:30
  and
• 3:31
  planned
• 3:31
  and
• 3:31
  recorded
• 3:31
  this
• 3:32
  podcast.
• 3:32
  And
• 3:32
  I
• 3:32
  was
• 3:32
  laying
• 3:33
  in
• 3:33
  bed
• 3:34
  watching
• 3:34
  Superstore,
• 3:35
  which
• 3:35
  is
• 3:35
  my
• 3:35
  guilty
• 3:36
  pleasure.
• 3:36
  I
• 3:36
  just
• 3:37
  love
• 3:37
  that
• 3:37
  show
• 3:38
  so
• 3:38
  much.
• 3:38
  It's
• 3:39
  so
• 3:39
  funny
• 3:39
  and
• 3:39
  so
• 3:40
  clever
• 3:40
  and
• 3:40
  so
• 3:40
  easy
• 3:41
  to
• 3:41
  watch.
• 3:41
  And
• 3:42
  I
• 3:42
  realized
• 3:43
  that
• 3:43
  I
• 3:43
  hadn't
• 3:44
  recorded
• 3:44
  this
• 3:45
  podcast.
• 3:45
  So
• 3:45
  listen,
• 3:47
  I'm
• 3:47
  recording
• 3:48
  for.
• 3:48
  I'm
• 3:48
  recording
• 3:49
  it
• 3:49
  for
• 3:49
  you
• 3:49
  now.
• 3:49
  And
• 3:50
  when
• 3:50
  it
• 3:50
  releases,
• 3:51
  it
• 3:52
  will
• 3:52
  be
• 3:53
  my
• 3:53
  birthday.
• 3:54
  So
• 3:55
  I
• 3:55
  will
• 3:55
  be
• 3:56
  a
• 3:56
  whopping
• 3:56
  45
• 3:58
  years
• 3:58
  old.
• 3:59
  And
• 3:59
  I
• 4:00
  actually
• 4:00
  really
• 4:01
  love
• 4:01
  the
• 4:01
  topic
• 4:02
  of
• 4:02
  this
• 4:03
  podcast
• 4:04
  for
• 4:04
  that.
• 4:04
  So
• 4:05
  I
• 4:05
  titled
• 4:06
  this
• 4:06
  podcast
• 4:07
  Responsibility
• 4:08
  Hoarding.
• 4:09
  Are
• 4:09
  you
• 4:09
  a
• 4:09
  responsibility
• 4:10
  hoarder?
• 4:11
  And
• 4:13
  I
• 4:13
  was
• 4:14
  a
• 4:14
  responsibility
• 4:14
  hoarder
• 4:15
  for
• 4:15
  a
• 4:15
  very,
• 4:15
  very
• 4:16
  long
• 4:16
  time.
• 4:17
  I
• 4:17
  think
• 4:17
  being
• 4:18
  the
• 4:18
  oldest
• 4:18
  child,
• 4:19
  I
• 4:19
  think
• 4:20
  just
• 4:20
  growing
• 4:20
  up
• 4:21
  in
• 4:21
  the
• 4:21
  home
• 4:21
  that
• 4:21
  I
• 4:21
  did,
• 4:22
  we
• 4:22
  were
• 4:22
  always
• 4:22
  taught
• 4:22
  to
• 4:23
  take
• 4:23
  responsibility.
• 4:24
  But
• 4:25
  when
• 4:25
  I
• 4:25
  talk
• 4:25
  about
• 4:25
  being
• 4:26
  a.
• 4:26
  Responsibility
• 4:27
  hoarder,
• 4:29
  I
• 4:29
  think
• 4:29
  it's
• 4:30
  more
• 4:30
  than
• 4:30
  that
• 4:31
  even.
• 4:31
  And
• 4:32
  what
• 4:32
  we
• 4:32
  tend
• 4:33
  to
• 4:33
  do
• 4:33
  is
• 4:34
  we
• 4:34
  tend
• 4:34
  to
• 4:34
  get
• 4:34
  to
• 4:35
  a
• 4:35
  point.
• 4:35
  In
• 4:35
  our
• 4:35
  life
• 4:36
  where
• 4:37
  we
• 4:37
  start
• 4:37
  being.
• 4:38
  And
• 4:39
  holding
• 4:39
  ourselves
• 4:39
  responsible
• 4:40
  for
• 4:40
  things
• 4:41
  that.
• 4:41
  Are
• 4:41
  outside
• 4:42
  of
• 4:42
  our
• 4:42
  actual
• 4:42
  control.
• 4:44
  Now,
• 4:44
  I
• 4:45
  just
• 4:45
  want
• 4:45
  to
• 4:45
  talk
• 4:45
  quickly
• 4:46
  about
• 4:46
  the
• 4:46
  term
• 4:46
  responsibility
• 4:47
  hoarder,
• 4:48
  because
• 4:48
  I.
• 4:48
  Don't
• 4:49
  remember
• 4:49
  where
• 4:49
  I
• 4:49
  heard
• 4:50
  it
• 4:50
  and.
• 4:50
  I
• 4:50
  didn't
• 4:51
  write
• 4:51
  it
• 4:51
  down.
• 4:52
  So
• 4:52
  if
• 4:52
  you're
• 4:53
  the
• 4:53
  one
• 4:53
  who
• 4:53
  said.
• 4:53
  It,
• 4:54
  or
• 4:54
  maybe
• 4:54
  you
• 4:54
  had
• 4:55
  a
• 4:55
  podcast
• 4:55
  about
• 4:55
  it,
• 4:56
  or
• 4:56
  you
• 4:56
  and
• 4:57
  I
• 4:57
  had.
• 4:57
  A
• 4:57
  conversation
• 4:58
  and
• 4:58
  you
• 4:58
  said
• 4:58
  it
• 4:58
  to
• 4:58
  me,
• 4:59
  let
• 4:59
  me
• 5:00
  know,
• 5:00
  because
• 5:00
  I'd
• 5:01
  love
• 5:01
  to
• 5:01
  give
• 5:01
  you
• 5:01
  credit
• 5:02
  for
• 5:02
  that
• 5:02
  particular
• 5:03
  term
• 5:03
  because
• 5:03
  I
• 5:03
  think
• 5:04
  it's
• 5:04
  excellent.
• 5:05
  So
• 5:05
  many
• 5:05
  of
• 5:06
  us
• 5:06
  really
• 5:06
  do
• 5:07
  hoard
• 5:07
  responsibility.
• 5:09
  And
• 5:09
  what
• 5:10
  hoarding
• 5:11
  responsibility
• 5:12
  looks
• 5:12
  like
• 5:12
  is.
• 5:13
  It
• 5:13
  looks
• 5:13
  like
• 5:13
  taking
• 5:14
  responsibility
• 5:16
  for
• 5:16
  things.
• 5:17
  That
• 5:17
  are
• 5:17
  outside
• 5:17
  of
• 5:18
  your
• 5:18
  control.
• 5:18
  So
• 5:19
  taking
• 5:19
  responsibility
• 5:20
  for
• 5:20
  other
• 5:21
  people
• 5:21
  being
• 5:21
  one
• 5:22
  of
• 5:22
  the
• 5:22
  biggest
• 5:22
  things
• 5:23
  that
• 5:23
  we
• 5:23
  do.
• 5:24
  Taking
• 5:24
  responsibility
• 5:24
  for
• 5:25
  how
• 5:25
  other
• 5:25
  people
• 5:26
  feel.
• 5:26
  Taking
• 5:27
  responsibility
• 5:28
  for
• 5:28
  what
• 5:28
  other
• 5:28
  people
• 5:28
  think.
• 5:29
  Taking
• 5:30
  responsibility
• 5:31
  for
• 5:31
  what
• 5:31
  other
• 5:31
  people
• 5:32
  do.
• 5:33
  And
• 5:34
  one
• 5:34
  sure
• 5:35
  way
• 5:35
  to
• 5:35
  know
• 5:36
  if.
• 5:36
  You
• 5:37
  are
• 5:37
  a
• 5:37
  responsibility
• 5:38
  hoarder
• 5:39
  is
• 5:39
  if.
• 5:39
  You
• 5:39
  are
• 5:40
  a
• 5:41
  people
• 5:41
  pleaser.
• 5:43
  And
• 5:43
  so
• 5:43
  what
• 5:44
  that
• 5:44
  looks
• 5:44
  like
• 5:45
  is
• 5:45
  you're
• 5:46
  living
• 5:46
  your
• 5:47
  life
• 5:48
  so
• 5:48
  that
• 5:48
  other
• 5:48
  people
• 5:50
  will
• 5:50
  like
• 5:51
  you.
• 5:52
  You're
• 5:52
  living
• 5:53
  your
• 5:53
  life
• 5:53
  in
• 5:53
  a
• 5:53
  way
• 5:53
  and
• 5:54
  showing
• 5:54
  up
• 5:54
  in
• 5:54
  a
• 5:54
  way
• 5:54
  to
• 5:55
  ensure
• 5:55
  that
• 5:55
  the
• 5:56
  people
• 5:56
  around
• 5:56
  you
• 5:57
  will
• 5:58
  continue
• 5:58
  to
• 5:58
  love
• 5:59
  you.
• 6:00
  You
• 6:00
  don't
• 6:00
  have
• 6:00
  any
• 6:01
  boundaries
• 6:02
  because
• 6:03
  you
• 6:04
  need
• 6:04
  to
• 6:04
  convince
• 6:05
  people.
• 6:06
  You
• 6:06
  need
• 6:07
  to
• 6:07
  convince
• 6:07
  people
• 6:08
  of
• 6:08
  your
• 6:08
  worth.
• 6:08
  You
• 6:09
  need
• 6:09
  to
• 6:09
  convince
• 6:10
  people
• 6:11
  of
• 6:13
  your
• 6:13
  lovability,
• 6:14
  right?
• 6:15
  You
• 6:16
  don't
• 6:16
  have
• 6:16
  any
• 6:16
  boundaries
• 6:17
  because
• 6:18
  you
• 6:18
  need
• 6:18
  to
• 6:19
  show
• 6:19
  them
• 6:21
  how
• 6:22
  good
• 6:22
  you
• 6:23
  are
• 6:23
  for
• 6:24
  them.
• 6:25
  You
• 6:25
  don't
• 6:25
  have
• 6:25
  any
• 6:26
  boundaries
• 6:26
  because
• 6:27
  you
• 6:28
  think
• 6:28
  you
• 6:28
  need
• 6:28
  to
• 6:28
  meet
• 6:29
  their
• 6:29
  needs
• 6:30
  above
• 6:30
  and
• 6:30
  beyond
• 6:31
  meeting
• 6:31
  yours.
• 6:32
  And
• 6:32
  you
• 6:32
  think
• 6:33
  that
• 6:33
  meeting
• 6:33
  their
• 6:34
  needs
• 6:34
  means
• 6:36
  controlling
• 6:37
  their
• 6:37
  emotional
• 6:37
  experience.
• 6:39
  What
• 6:40
  I
• 6:40
  mean
• 6:40
  is,
• 6:40
  is
• 6:40
  you
• 6:41
  take
• 6:41
  on
• 6:42
  all
• 6:42
  of
• 6:43
  the
• 6:43
  responsibility
• 6:44
  for
• 6:45
  everybody.
• 6:47
  And
• 6:47
  I
• 6:47
  know
• 6:47
  that
• 6:48
  you
• 6:48
  might
• 6:48
  be
• 6:48
  thinking
• 6:48
  like
• 6:49
  what's
• 6:49
  wrong
• 6:49
  with
• 6:50
  that?
• 6:50
  And
• 6:50
  aren't
• 6:51
  we
• 6:51
  supposed
• 6:51
  to
• 6:51
  be
• 6:52
  responsible?
• 6:53
  And
• 6:54
  what
• 6:54
  I
• 6:54
  want
• 6:54
  you
• 6:54
  to
• 6:55
  know
• 6:55
  is
• 6:55
  that
• 6:56
  it's
• 6:56
  a
• 6:56
  yes
• 6:57
  and
• 6:57
  no
• 6:58
  answer.
• 6:59
  And
• 6:59
  I
• 7:00
  want
• 7:00
  you
• 7:00
  to
• 7:00
  think
• 7:00
  about
• 7:00
  the
• 7:01
  difference.
• 7:01
  And
• 7:01
  this
• 7:02
  is
• 7:02
  why
• 7:02
  I
• 7:02
  love
• 7:02
  this
• 7:03
  word.
• 7:03
  I
• 7:03
  want
• 7:04
  you
• 7:04
  to
• 7:04
  think
• 7:04
  about
• 7:04
  the
• 7:04
  difference
• 7:05
  between
• 7:05
  being
• 7:05
  a
• 7:06
  collector
• 7:07
  and
• 7:07
  being
• 7:07
  a
• 7:08
  hoarder.
• 7:09
  So
• 7:10
  being
• 7:10
  a
• 7:10
  collector
• 7:11
  of
• 7:11
  something
• 7:12
  is
• 7:12
  going
• 7:12
  to
• 7:13
  bring
• 7:13
  you
• 7:13
  joy,
• 7:14
  right?
• 7:14
  It's
• 7:15
  going
• 7:15
  to
• 7:15
  add
• 7:15
  value
• 7:16
  to
• 7:16
  your
• 7:16
  life.
• 7:17
  It
• 7:17
  might
• 7:18
  be
• 7:18
  a
• 7:18
  hobby,
• 7:18
  it's
• 7:19
  fun,
• 7:19
  it
• 7:19
  brings
• 7:20
  you
• 7:20
  pleasure.
• 7:21
  Now
• 7:21
  I
• 7:21
  want
• 7:22
  you
• 7:22
  to
• 7:22
  think
• 7:22
  about
• 7:22
  being
• 7:22
  a
• 7:23
  hoarder.
• 7:24
  Being
• 7:25
  a
• 7:25
  hoarder
• 7:26
  takes
• 7:26
  over.
• 7:28
  It's
• 7:28
  not
• 7:28
  fun,
• 7:29
  it's
• 7:30
  something
• 7:30
  you
• 7:30
  need
• 7:31
  to
• 7:31
  do.
• 7:33
  It's
• 7:33
  compulsive,
• 7:34
  it's
• 7:34
  not
• 7:34
  within
• 7:35
  your
• 7:35
  control
• 7:36
  and
• 7:37
  it
• 7:37
  detracts
• 7:38
  from
• 7:38
  your
• 7:39
  life.
• 7:40
  It
• 7:40
  actually
• 7:40
  makes
• 7:41
  your
• 7:41
  life
• 7:41
  worse
• 7:42
  and
• 7:43
  it
• 7:43
  makes
• 7:44
  you
• 7:45
  less
• 7:46
  you
• 7:47
  because
• 7:48
  you
• 7:48
  are
• 7:48
  hyper
• 7:49
  focused
• 7:51
  on
• 7:52
  everything
• 7:53
  around
• 7:53
  you.
• 7:54
  And
• 7:54
  so
• 7:54
  therefore
• 7:55
  you
• 7:55
  have
• 7:55
  no
• 7:56
  internal
• 7:56
  compass.
• 7:57
  You
• 7:57
  have
• 7:58
  no
• 7:58
  way
• 7:58
  of
• 8:00
  directing
• 8:00
  yourself
• 8:01
  and
• 8:01
  evaluating
• 8:02
  yourself
• 8:02
  and
• 8:03
  validating
• 8:03
  yourself
• 8:04
  from
• 8:05
  an
• 8:05
  internal
• 8:05
  place.
• 8:07
  So
• 8:07
  what
• 8:07
  I
• 8:07
  want
• 8:08
  to
• 8:08
  know
• 8:09
  is,
• 8:09
  do
• 8:10
  you
• 8:10
  feel
• 8:10
  this
• 8:11
  way
• 8:11
  about
• 8:12
  being
• 8:13
  responsible?
• 8:15
  Like
• 8:16
  really
• 8:16
  ask
• 8:16
  yourself
• 8:17
  what
• 8:17
  is
• 8:18
  your
• 8:18
  responsibility
• 8:19
  when
• 8:20
  it
• 8:20
  comes
• 8:20
  to
• 8:20
  other
• 8:20
  people?
• 8:22
  Have
• 8:22
  you
• 8:23
  ever
• 8:23
  thought
• 8:23
  about
• 8:24
  that?
• 8:24
  Have
• 8:25
  you
• 8:25
  ever
• 8:25
  considered
• 8:26
  how
• 8:26
  you
• 8:27
  judge
• 8:27
  yourself?
• 8:29
  Because
• 8:29
  listen,
• 8:30
  this
• 8:30
  is
• 8:31
  what
• 8:31
  I
• 8:31
  know
• 8:31
  for
• 8:31
  certain.
• 8:33
  You
• 8:33
  cannot
• 8:34
  control
• 8:34
  other
• 8:34
  people.
• 8:35
  It's
• 8:36
  simply
• 8:36
  not
• 8:37
  possible.
• 8:38
  Not
• 8:38
  ever.
• 8:39
  You
• 8:39
  cannot
• 8:40
  control
• 8:40
  what
• 8:40
  they
• 8:40
  do,
• 8:41
  you
• 8:41
  cannot
• 8:42
  control
• 8:42
  how
• 8:42
  they
• 8:43
  feel,
• 8:43
  you
• 8:44
  cannot
• 8:44
  control
• 8:45
  what
• 8:45
  they
• 8:45
  think.
• 8:46
  Apparently
• 8:46
  that
• 8:46
  is
• 8:47
  a
• 8:47
  tongue
• 8:47
  twister
• 8:47
  for
• 8:48
  me.
• 8:49
  Because
• 8:49
  the
• 8:50
  thing
• 8:50
  is
• 8:50
  about
• 8:50
  other
• 8:51
  people
• 8:51
  is
• 8:51
  they
• 8:52
  have
• 8:52
  their
• 8:52
  own
• 8:52
  brain
• 8:53
  and
• 8:54
  they
• 8:54
  have
• 8:54
  their
• 8:54
  own
• 8:55
  priorities.
• 8:58
  So
• 8:59
  what
• 8:59
  if
• 9:00
  you
• 9:00
  gave
• 9:00
  up
• 9:01
  the
• 9:02
  responsibility
• 9:03
  for
• 9:03
  other
• 9:03
  people?
• 9:04
  What
• 9:04
  if
• 9:04
  you
• 9:04
  just
• 9:04
  dropped
• 9:05
  it?
• 9:06
  What
• 9:06
  if
• 9:06
  you
• 9:07
  decided
• 9:07
  that
• 9:07
  was
• 9:07
  no
• 9:07
  longer
• 9:08
  your
• 9:08
  job?
• 9:09
  What
• 9:09
  would
• 9:10
  change?
• 9:11
  What
• 9:11
  would
• 9:11
  be
• 9:11
  different?
• 9:13
  I
• 9:13
  want
• 9:13
  you
• 9:14
  to
• 9:14
  think
• 9:14
  about
• 9:15
  what
• 9:15
  you
• 9:15
  can
• 9:16
  actually
• 9:16
  be
• 9:16
  responsible
• 9:17
  for.
• 9:18
  What
• 9:18
  can
• 9:18
  you
• 9:19
  be
• 9:19
  responsible
• 9:19
  for?
• 9:20
  You
• 9:20
  can
• 9:20
  be
• 9:20
  responsible
• 9:21
  for
• 9:22
  yourself,.
• 9:25
  Period.
• 9:26
  Right?
• 9:26
  You
• 9:26
  can
• 9:27
  be
• 9:27
  responsible
• 9:27
  for
• 9:27
  your
• 9:28
  actions.
• 9:29
  You
• 9:29
  can
• 9:29
  be
• 9:29
  responsible
• 9:30
  for
• 9:30
  your
• 9:30
  thoughts.
• 9:31
  You
• 9:31
  can
• 9:31
  be
• 9:31
  responsible
• 9:32
  for
• 9:32
  your
• 9:32
  feelings.
• 9:36
  You
• 9:36
  are
• 9:36
  responsible,
• 9:38
  but
• 9:38
  really
• 9:39
  only
• 9:40
  for
• 9:40
  yourself.
• 9:42
  And
• 9:43
  this
• 9:43
  alone
• 9:44
  can
• 9:45
  set
• 9:45
  you
• 9:45
  free.
• 9:47
  Because
• 9:48
  just
• 9:48
  consider
• 9:49
  that
• 9:50
  you
• 9:50
  don't
• 9:50
  actually
• 9:51
  make
• 9:51
  other
• 9:51
  people
• 9:51
  mad.
• 9:53
  You
• 9:53
  don't
• 9:53
  make
• 9:53
  them
• 9:54
  sad.
• 9:55
  You
• 9:55
  don't
• 9:55
  make
• 9:56
  them
• 9:56
  act
• 9:56
  a
• 9:56
  certain
• 9:56
  way.
• 9:57
  You
• 9:57
  don't
• 9:57
  make
• 9:57
  them
• 9:58
  feel
• 9:58
  a
• 9:58
  certain
• 9:58
  way.
• 9:59
  You
• 9:59
  don't
• 9:59
  make
• 9:59
  them
• 9:59
  think
• 10:00
  a
• 10:00
  certain
• 10:00
  way.
• 10:01
  You
• 10:01
  are
• 10:01
  simply
• 10:02
  not
• 10:02
  responsible,
• 10:05
  which
• 10:05
  is
• 10:05
  really
• 10:06
  good
• 10:06
  news,
• 10:06
  right?
• 10:07
  But
• 10:07
  also
• 10:08
  know
• 10:09
  that
• 10:09
  if
• 10:09
  that
• 10:10
  is
• 10:10
  true,
• 10:11
  then
• 10:11
  you
• 10:12
  are
• 10:12
  responsible
• 10:12
  for
• 10:13
  you,
• 10:14
  for
• 10:14
  how
• 10:14
  you
• 10:14
  feel,
• 10:15
  for
• 10:15
  how
• 10:15
  you
• 10:16
  act,
• 10:16
  for
• 10:16
  what
• 10:16
  you
• 10:17
  think.
• 10:18
  And
• 10:18
  that
• 10:19
  also
• 10:19
  means
• 10:19
  that
• 10:19
  you're
• 10:20
  responsible
• 10:21
  for
• 10:21
  liking
• 10:21
  yourself.
• 10:23
  You're
• 10:23
  responsible
• 10:24
  for
• 10:24
  loving
• 10:25
  yourself.
• 10:26
  You're
• 10:26
  responsible
• 10:27
  for
• 10:28
  believing
• 10:28
  in
• 10:28
  yourself.
• 10:30
  Only
• 10:30
  you
• 10:31
  are
• 10:32
  responsible
• 10:32
  for
• 10:33
  that,
• 10:34
  which
• 10:35
  is
• 10:35
  really,
• 10:35
  really
• 10:36
  great
• 10:36
  news,
• 10:37
  because
• 10:38
  it
• 10:38
  means
• 10:38
  that
• 10:38
  you
• 10:39
  are
• 10:39
  only
• 10:40
  responsible
• 10:41
  for
• 10:41
  the
• 10:41
  things
• 10:41
  that
• 10:42
  you
• 10:42
  can
• 10:42
  control.
• 10:43
  And
• 10:44
  other
• 10:44
  people
• 10:45
  are
• 10:46
  not
• 10:46
  part
• 10:47
  of
• 10:47
  that
• 10:47
  equation.
• 10:49
  So
• 10:49
  you
• 10:50
  don't
• 10:50
  have
• 10:50
  to
• 10:51
  hoard
• 10:52
  that
• 10:52
  responsibility
• 10:53
  anymore.
• 10:54
  You
• 10:54
  don't
• 10:54
  have
• 10:55
  to
• 10:55
  turn
• 10:55
  yourself
• 10:55
  inside
• 10:56
  out
• 10:57
  trying
• 10:57
  to
• 10:57
  control
• 10:59
  other
• 10:59
  people,
• 11:00
  what
• 11:00
  they're
• 11:00
  doing,
• 11:01
  what
• 11:01
  they're
• 11:01
  thinking,
• 11:01
  what
• 11:02
  they're
• 11:02
  feeling.
• 11:03
  You
• 11:04
  only
• 11:04
  have
• 11:04
  to
• 11:05
  control
• 11:05
  you.
• 11:06
  Your
• 11:06
  only
• 11:06
  job
• 11:08
  is
• 11:08
  to
• 11:09
  work
• 11:09
  on
• 11:09
  your
• 11:09
  compass
• 11:10
  and
• 11:11
  make
• 11:11
  sure
• 11:11
  it
• 11:11
  works.
• 11:13
  Now,
• 11:14
  listen,
• 11:15
  if
• 11:16
  liking
• 11:16
  yourself
• 11:17
  or
• 11:17
  loving
• 11:18
  yourself
• 11:18
  or
• 11:18
  trusting
• 11:19
  yourself
• 11:19
  seems
• 11:20
  impossible,
• 11:22
  I've
• 11:22
  got
• 11:23
  you.
• 11:24
  It's
• 11:24
  a
• 11:25
  skill.
• 11:25
  You
• 11:26
  can
• 11:26
  learn
• 11:26
  it.
• 11:28
  If
• 11:28
  you
• 11:28
  don't
• 11:29
  have
• 11:29
  it
• 11:29
  right
• 11:29
  now,
• 11:29
  it's
• 11:30
  not
• 11:30
  because
• 11:30
  you
• 11:30
  can't
• 11:31
  have
• 11:31
  it.
• 11:32
  It's
• 11:32
  not
• 11:32
  because
• 11:33
  other
• 11:33
  people
• 11:33
  need
• 11:33
  to
• 11:34
  give
• 11:34
  it
• 11:34
  to
• 11:34
  you.
• 11:35
  It's
• 11:35
  because
• 11:36
  you
• 11:36
  don't
• 11:36
  know
• 11:36
  how
• 11:37
  to
• 11:37
  do
• 11:37
  it.
• 11:39
  But
• 11:39
  I
• 11:39
  can
• 11:40
  teach
• 11:40
  you.
• 11:41
  I
• 11:41
  can
• 11:42
  teach
• 11:42
  you
• 11:42
  how
• 11:42
  to
• 11:42
  do
• 11:42
  that.
• 11:43
  I
• 11:43
  have
• 11:43
  podcast
• 11:44
  episodes
• 11:44
  about
• 11:45
  that.
• 11:45
  And
• 11:45
  also,
• 11:47
  if
• 11:48
  you're
• 11:48
  really
• 11:48
  serious
• 11:49
  about
• 11:49
  figuring
• 11:50
  this
• 11:50
  out,
• 11:52
  book
• 11:52
  a
• 11:52
  free
• 11:52
  discovery
• 11:53
  call.
• 11:54
  It's
• 11:55
  a
• 11:55
  call
• 11:55
  with
• 11:55
  you
• 11:55
  and
• 11:56
  me.
• 11:56
  It's
• 11:56
  one
• 11:57
  hour,
• 11:57
  and
• 11:57
  it's
• 11:57
  all
• 11:58
  about
• 11:58
  you.
• 11:59
  Let's
• 11:59
  get
• 11:59
  to
• 11:59
  the
• 12:00
  bottom
• 12:00
  of
• 12:00
  what's
• 12:01
  going
• 12:01
  on
• 12:02
  so
• 12:02
  that
• 12:02
  you
• 12:03
  can
• 12:03
  get
• 12:03
  to
• 12:03
  work
• 12:04
  changing
• 12:04
  what's
• 12:05
  not
• 12:05
  working,
• 12:06
  but
• 12:06
  only
• 12:07
  changing
• 12:08
  the
• 12:08
  things
• 12:08
  that
• 12:09
  you
• 12:09
  can
• 12:09
  actually
• 12:10
  control.
• 12:11
  So
• 12:11
  let's
• 12:12
  all
• 12:12
  stop
• 12:12
  being
• 12:12
  hoarders,
• 12:14
  and
• 12:14
  let's
• 12:14
  all
• 12:15
  begin
• 12:16
  controlling
• 12:16
  only
• 12:17
  the
• 12:17
  things
• 12:17
  that
• 12:17
  we
• 12:17
  can
• 12:18
  control,
• 12:18
  which
• 12:19
  is
• 12:19
  always
• 12:19
  ourself.
• 12:20
  Okay?
• 12:21
  Have
• 12:21
  a
• 12:22
  beautiful
• 12:22
  day.
• 12:22
  I'LL
• 12:23
  talk
• 12:23
  to
• 12:23
  you
• 12:23
  soon.
• 12:27
  Thanks
• 12:28
  so
• 12:28
  much
• 12:28
  for
• 12:28
  listening.
• 12:29
  You
• 12:29
  can
• 12:29
  look
• 12:30
  forward
• 12:30
  to
• 12:30
  a
• 12:30
  new
• 12:30
  episode
• 12:31
  of
• 12:31
  this
• 12:31
  podcast
• 12:32
  every
• 12:32
  two
• 12:33
  weeks.
• 12:33
  And
• 12:34
  hey,
• 12:34
  if
• 12:34
  you
• 12:35
  have
• 12:35
  a
• 12:35
  second
• 12:35
  and
• 12:36
  you've
• 12:36
  enjoyed
• 12:36
  this
• 12:36
  podcast,
• 12:37
  please
• 12:38
  be
• 12:38
  sure
• 12:38
  to
• 12:38
  give
• 12:38
  me
• 12:39
  a
• 12:39
  five
• 12:39
  star
• 12:39
  rating
• 12:40
  on
• 12:40
  Apple
• 12:40
  Podcasts.
• 12:41
  This
• 12:42
  is
• 12:42
  how
• 12:42
  you
• 12:42
  can
• 12:42
  help
• 12:43
  this
• 12:43
  podcast
• 12:43
  grow.
• 12:44
  And
• 12:44
  remember,
• 12:45
  if
• 12:46
  you
• 12:46
  want
• 12:46
  to
• 12:46
  fast
• 12:46
  track
• 12:47
  your
• 12:47
  self
• 12:47
  love
• 12:47
  skills,
• 12:48
  be
• 12:48
  sure
• 12:48
  to
• 12:49
  head
• 12:49
  over
• 12:49
  to
• 12:49
  the
• 12:49
  Show
• 12:49
  Notes
• 12:50
  to
• 12:50
  register
• 12:50
  for
• 12:51
  my
• 12:51
  free
• 12:51
  three
• 12:52
  day
• 12:52
  masterclass.
• 12:53
  Or
• 12:54
  if
• 12:54
  you're
• 12:55
  really
• 12:55
  ready
• 12:56
  for
• 12:57
  change,
• 12:57
  book
• 12:58
  a
• 12:58
  free
• 12:58
  60
• 12:58
  minute
• 12:59
  consultation
• 12:59
  with
• 12:59
  me
• 13:00
  to
• 13:00
  get
• 13:00
  unstuck
• 13:01
  for
• 13:02
  good.