Latest / The REALationship Method / Locked Bathrooms, Petty Energy & Zero F*cks with Ashley

Transcript

Locked Bathrooms, Petty Energy & Zero F*cks with Ashley · The REALationship Method

0:07
SPEAKER_00: Five four three two one my man Welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Method Podcast.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: It's your boy Chris.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: Today I got a very lovely special guest, and she goes by the name of Ashley.
0:22
SPEAKER_03: Yay!
0:24
SPEAKER_00: Girl, what is up?
0:26
SPEAKER_03: Hi.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: Hi.
0:29
SPEAKER_03: Hi.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, how are you doing today?
0:32
SPEAKER_03: I'm good.
0:33
SPEAKER_03: How are you?
0:33
SPEAKER_00: Good, good, good, good.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: Um Ashley, how was your mental health?
0:39
SPEAKER_03: Mental health?
0:40
SPEAKER_00: It's going.
0:41
SPEAKER_03: It's it's going.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: It's going.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: Some days up, some days down.
0:46
SPEAKER_03: It's better than what it was.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: I like that.
0:48
SPEAKER_03: I like that.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: And um before we start popping off, um, how did this happen?
0:53
SPEAKER_00: How did I get Miss Ashley Zaggs on this little pod thingy thing?
0:57
SPEAKER_02: You DM'd me.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:00
SPEAKER_02: You DM'd me.
1:01
SPEAKER_02: You ended up in my DMs.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: So I shot my shot.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: What um what made you reply or what made you not um, I guess, skip the skip the DM request?
1:13
SPEAKER_03: I've been trying to just have fun.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:17
SPEAKER_03: I've been trying to keep myself distracted.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: Distract.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's a great word.
1:22
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
1:22
SPEAKER_03: I was going through a rough patch these past few months.
1:26
SPEAKER_03: So I've been going out and meeting people and just being distracted.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: Meeting people distracted.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: So I was a distraction.
1:37
SPEAKER_03: Yes, you were a distraction.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: Hey guys, we are distraction.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: Um see going out.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: Uh you say distracting.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm glad that you're not using paraphernalia, some you know, drugs as a distraction because people can go down that road.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, why why like I guess going out and why not like say reading books or like just like to read?
2:06
SPEAKER_03: Oh, who does?
2:07
SPEAKER_03: I don't like to read.
2:08
SPEAKER_03: Um I got into playing darts.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: Oh shit, no way.
2:11
SPEAKER_03: So I'm always at the bar playing darts.
2:14
SPEAKER_03: I don't even really drink, so it's not even a drink, it's just darts.
2:17
SPEAKER_03: So when I go to the bar, I'm usually drinking water or eating food.
2:20
SPEAKER_03: I go for the food.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
2:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm a social drinker, so you don't you'll never see me at home, you know, like pounding a beer or drinking Hennessy or nothing.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm just I'm there.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: But when I'm out, it's very limited to where like, you know, we're we're at the age now where we want to have fun, but still be there and not get blacked out, you know.
2:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'll have a shot or two every so often, but but you're still coherent, you're still there and um engaged.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: I am.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: I like that, I like that.
2:51
SPEAKER_00: And um, you and I talked, you're nine to five, you just have a regular nine to five job.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: Correct.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, this uh other side of you, this content creating, what made you uh get into that biz?
3:03
SPEAKER_03: I that was another distraction.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
3:07
SPEAKER_03: So I was in a 14-year relationship, and it was a very toxic situation.
3:15
SPEAKER_03: Um so what I would do to cope was just lock myself in the bathroom and just content create.
3:22
SPEAKER_00: In your bathroom.
3:24
SPEAKER_03: In his bathroom.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: In his bathroom.
3:26
SPEAKER_03: In his bathroom.
3:27
SPEAKER_03: So a lot of my content was dancing in the bathroom, just recording in the bathroom, because that was like the only place I could record and just be away.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: Bro, you got you probably got like one big bathroom if you're dancing.
3:39
SPEAKER_03: No, it was it's a um half bath.
3:41
SPEAKER_03: It was a half bath that I was.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: And you were doing your shit.
3:43
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: Girl, I am just dooking and getting away from my kids and sharing in my bathroom, let alone dancing.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: I don't think I have that room, man.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: Or I'll just break some shit.
3:55
SPEAKER_03: I don't want to break things.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, well, I mean, I'm a clumsy I'm clumsy.
3:59
SPEAKER_03: I'm clumsy too.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: Really?
4:01
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
4:03
SPEAKER_03: Do you not see all the videos that I spill food in my car?
4:07
SPEAKER_00: Valid.
4:09
SPEAKER_03: I can't trip over my face.
4:11
SPEAKER_03: That's valid, that's valid.
4:12
SPEAKER_03: Yes, I'm clumsy.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: That's valid, that's valid.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: That's valid.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: I'll I'll give you I'll give you that point.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'll give you that point.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, is this your first pod or um my very first pod.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
4:23
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, another cherry pot.
4:26
SPEAKER_03: versionized my podcast.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: And um, another thing that we have in common, we have kids.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: Um in this age.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: Your kids, right?
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Are they, like say, are they social media driven?
4:48
SPEAKER_00: Or are they still acting like the way like kids are supposed to be acting?
4:55
SPEAKER_00: Like art.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: No.
4:58
SPEAKER_03: The kids, like when we were kids?
5:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:00
SPEAKER_03: No, it's all iPad, phone.
5:04
SPEAKER_03: My daughter's had a phone.
5:05
SPEAKER_03: She's 12, and she's had her phone since she was like five.
5:09
SPEAKER_03: So, yeah.
5:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
5:11
SPEAKER_03: She's always asking me, Mom, can I have TikTok?
5:13
SPEAKER_03: Can I have Instagram?
5:14
SPEAKER_03: No, you cannot.
5:16
SPEAKER_03: She ended up downloading it.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: Without you knowing?
5:19
SPEAKER_03: Without me knowing.
5:20
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
5:21
SPEAKER_03: And I don't know how she did it.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: Password protected and everything?
5:24
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
5:25
SPEAKER_03: I have it.
5:26
SPEAKER_03: I have child protection, whatever controls, but she bypassed all of that.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: These kids, they are smart and dumb at the same time.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: You know, I gotta give them that.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: So when you found out about your daughter having TikTok, how how did you deal with that?
5:45
SPEAKER_03: There's nothing I can do.
5:46
SPEAKER_03: She made her own.
5:48
SPEAKER_03: She made so she has Roblox, right?
5:51
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
5:51
SPEAKER_03: She ended up making another account, then she put that email account as her TikTok, and it popped up because it says, You may know this person, right?
6:01
SPEAKER_03: And that's how I found out.
6:02
SPEAKER_03: And Instagram too, and I made her I made her delete it.
6:05
SPEAKER_03: But then she ended up getting it again, so it's like they're gonna keep doing it over and over.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: So um, when my when my daughter, um so my daughter's not really on social media like that, but when she started, she was on um Smashly.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: It's it's the one where you sing in the videos.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: That was like her first social media whatever.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: I was cool with it because it's not as creepy as it is now.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: But um, do you monitor your you know, your daughter's like like say TikTok and IG accounts and stuff?
6:43
SPEAKER_00: I don't.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: You don't?
6:45
SPEAKER_03: I don't, honestly.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: Part of you is scared, or are you like, I trust my daughter, she's knowledge.
6:51
SPEAKER_03: I trust her, she's good.
6:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean, just trust her.
6:56
SPEAKER_03: I'll go through her phone sometimes, but I see her dancing to TikToks.
7:01
SPEAKER_03: I don't think she's doing anything bad.
7:03
SPEAKER_03: It's just her coming across something that she's not supposed to see.
7:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, what other people post is probably the worst that could happen.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: Um is she dressing different?
7:15
SPEAKER_03: No.
7:15
SPEAKER_00: No?
7:16
SPEAKER_00: No.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: So she got her own style, her own.
7:19
SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know, like for me because um I was just talking to my friend about this.
7:24
SPEAKER_03: How my daughter, she's 12, right?
7:26
SPEAKER_03: She's probably like right here to me.
7:29
SPEAKER_03: And I'm five's six.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: Them jeans are good, bro.
7:33
SPEAKER_03: And so, like, we wear kind of like the same clothes.
7:38
SPEAKER_03: So when I wash clothes, I can never know if it's mine or hers.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: Are you wearing your daughter's clothes right now?
7:43
SPEAKER_03: Um, no.
7:43
SPEAKER_03: But she wears my clothes all the time.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah?
7:46
unknown: Yeah.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: Are you wearing her shoes?
7:48
SPEAKER_03: No, but she can wear my shoes.
7:50
SPEAKER_03: Her feet are a size eight, eight and a half.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: Oh, bigfoot headass.
7:55
SPEAKER_03: Bigfoot, yes.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: And um, if peop for people that want to know, can you disclose this?
8:00
SPEAKER_00: Are you taking single?
8:01
SPEAKER_03: Um I am single, but but unavailable.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, get off her dick, guys.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, get off her dick.
8:09
SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing somebody.
8:10
unknown: Yes.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
8:12
SPEAKER_03: I've been seeing somebody.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's girl.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: Good for you.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: After a 14 uh toxic relationship, you deserve a goody good.
8:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but it's not all good.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh, of course not.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: You take the good with the bad.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Um, just recently uh got an argument with my uh with my other half about uh how I treat like certain kids in the household.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: And I have to, you know, one part of me wants to like just go in and be like, look here, this is the this is what's fucking going on.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: But the other part of me is like, yo, I gotta respect the fact that that's her kid.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: Of course, like that's um uh she's always gonna have that place in her heart for him.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: So I gotta be sensitive to that.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, I'm trying to raise a man too.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: So therefore, it's like some a big part of me is like, yo, back the fuck up, let him be a man, let him fuck up, let him fucking, you know, deal with the repercussions that come to him if he messes up and just chill back and watch.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, a big part of me want to say that, but I can't because I have to be uh sensitive, I have to validate her feelings, I have to do this this whole checklist in order for me to get my point across.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: And because of the way I am, I I'm like, ugh, I'm like pimped up because I wanna like lash out, I wanna speak the way I want to talk, you know?
9:51
SPEAKER_00: But I can't.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, that's my little bite your tongue.
9:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh girl, yes.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: Have that has that ever happened to you where you wanted to say some man, this is on point type of shit, but you had to bite your tongue and just 14 years, okay.
10:10
SPEAKER_03: I learned that towards the end, it's not worth wasting my energy or my breath.
10:15
SPEAKER_03: So just bite my tongue.
10:17
SPEAKER_00: What was the the nail in the coffin to where you're like, yo, for like why didn't it end at 12?
10:24
SPEAKER_00: Um and why did it stuck till 14?
10:27
SPEAKER_03: Part of it was from having a broken family with my first baby daddy.
10:33
SPEAKER_03: That was that was seven years.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: She said that at me.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: Seven years.
10:37
SPEAKER_03: Two kids.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
10:39
SPEAKER_03: Then I 14-year relationship, one kid.
10:43
SPEAKER_03: Um, I didn't want to break up our family.
10:48
SPEAKER_03: When you keep on trying.
10:49
SPEAKER_03: Right.
10:49
SPEAKER_03: I so I I kept repeating cycles.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
10:52
SPEAKER_03: But it was like walking on eggshells every day.
10:57
SPEAKER_00: Don't you fucking hate that?
10:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and it wasn't even a relationship.
11:01
SPEAKER_03: He would sleep on the couch.
11:03
SPEAKER_03: I sleep in the bed with my daughter.
11:05
SPEAKER_03: So it was a roommate situation.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: Roommate situation.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: I was I was gonna say that.
11:09
SPEAKER_03: For many, many years.
11:11
SPEAKER_03: I wanna say maybe about 10 years, it was a roommate situation.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: And that was okay in in your household.
11:18
SPEAKER_03: Like it was okay because I got to see my daughter every day.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
11:22
SPEAKER_03: Um, but my happiness, it was my mental health was bad.
11:29
SPEAKER_00: You know what, Miss Ashley, I'm glad that you're sitting here with me today.
11:33
SPEAKER_00: Because that tells me that you've uh you've overcame that and you took your your mental health and you put that first.
11:43
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: Instead of putting in a second, third, fourth, and the third.
11:47
SPEAKER_03: I was struggling with mental health for a long time.
11:50
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
11:51
SPEAKER_03: And I refused to take meds.
11:53
SPEAKER_00: Who does?
11:54
SPEAKER_00: I mean, fuck, I hate meds.
11:56
SPEAKER_03: A lot of people rely on meds.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: Really?
11:58
SPEAKER_00: Not like talking it out or going to the gym or doing like something to get I don't want to ever get addicted to anything.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
12:08
SPEAKER_00: Addicted to positivity.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm playing.
12:11
SPEAKER_00: So corny.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: So corny.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: Wow, well shit.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm glad that you're here today.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: Get ready for these questions.
12:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: What is something you probably shouldn't tell me on this podcast, but you're going to do anyway?
12:25
SPEAKER_00: I think you already did seven and fourteen year marriages.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: 21 years of being married.
12:32
SPEAKER_03: No, I wasn't even married.
12:33
SPEAKER_00: 14 years of being with someone.
12:35
SPEAKER_03: Relationships.
12:36
SPEAKER_03: I've never been married.
12:37
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: Hold the fuck up.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: Never been married.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
12:44
SPEAKER_00: These are just is that on the guy or is that on the female that.
12:48
SPEAKER_03: I feel like guys nowadays they don't they don't want to commit.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you why.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: Because we want.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: Not we.
12:56
SPEAKER_03: Um, they want we, because you're you're married.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: Um, they want that out.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Because when you get married and then you want to break up, you go through like the hassles of um, like say, legal shit, right?
13:09
SPEAKER_00: But if you're just uh just boyfriend, girlfriend, you have no, unless you have kids, you don't have no obligations.
13:16
SPEAKER_03: Just the problem though, we had kids.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: Had kids.
13:20
SPEAKER_03: So we played family, we played house.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
13:22
SPEAKER_03: I played house for 21 years of my life without without you know, honestly, marriage is just a ring and a piece of paper.
13:32
SPEAKER_00: It is.
13:33
SPEAKER_03: And maybe some benefits too, but I didn't need that.
13:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't need that.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: So you never wanted like an actual like marriage ceremony, or you didn't want the ring, like throughout your years of being together.
13:48
SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean no, because I don't think I could have ever seen myself spending the rest of my life with them with my situation.
13:56
SPEAKER_03: And I've seen my mom and dad, well, my parents are both, you know, divorced multiple times, so I don't I guess breaking up and divorce is kind of the same.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: Just one's just legal binding.
14:11
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: Someone gets half, the other gets 20, whatever.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: And then breaking up is just, hey, you go this way, I go that way.
14:17
SPEAKER_03: But it's harder when you have kids, you gotta share that.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: It's very difficult.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: But I think um, and I've done a lot of readings and studies on this stuff, that when both parents are like just on the same page with the kids, not with each other, but with on with the same page with the kids, co-parenting, it does happen.
14:36
SPEAKER_00: You know, as long as you guys are on the same page with how you raise the kids, both of y'all could have that fallout.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: By all means, have that fallout.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: But when it comes to the kid, it does work out.
14:46
unknown: Yes.
14:46
SPEAKER_03: So I have a very toxic, still relationship to this day with my first baby daddy.
14:53
SPEAKER_03: The second one, you know, we lived in a very toxic situation, but after we moved, like after I moved out, it's better.
15:01
SPEAKER_03: We're better off as friends, and we co-parent with my daughter really well.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: You're friends with the second baby daddy.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: The second baby daddy.
15:08
SPEAKER_03: Get along awesome.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: Why, um what switched?
15:14
SPEAKER_00: What made that happen?
15:16
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, like you guys sucked at being together, but you guys are killing it in the friendship game.
15:24
SPEAKER_03: I don't even know.
15:24
SPEAKER_03: It it took a couple months.
15:27
SPEAKER_03: Um But we don't have a schedule for my daughter.
15:31
SPEAKER_03: We my daughter wants to go here, she goes.
15:34
SPEAKER_03: And he helps me out with anything I need.
15:38
SPEAKER_03: So I don't even know.
15:40
SPEAKER_03: It was all him.
15:42
SPEAKER_03: All him.
15:44
SPEAKER_03: He hated my guts.
15:45
SPEAKER_03: He he he hated my guts.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: Well, like after the first year, second year.
15:48
SPEAKER_03: No, he just he just always told me he never loved me.
15:52
SPEAKER_03: It was like pretty much basically with me for my daughter.
15:57
SPEAKER_03: That's what it felt like.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: Oh got you knocked up.
16:00
SPEAKER_03: Reminded me every day he didn't love me, always trying to kick me out of the house.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: And then one day you were just like, I'm done.
16:06
SPEAKER_03: And then one day I was just like, we got into a fight, and I'm just like, I'm done.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: How did the daughter take it at that time?
16:13
SPEAKER_03: You know, I feel like she never liked us fighting.
16:18
SPEAKER_03: She never liked seeing the fight.
16:19
SPEAKER_03: Of course.
16:19
SPEAKER_00: What kid?
16:20
SPEAKER_03: I feel like she wanted us to go our separate ways.
16:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: How would you deal with this now if your daughter is in like everyone gets in this type of predicament?
16:34
SPEAKER_00: Like, what kind of knowledge mom would pick her up with?
16:38
SPEAKER_00: Leave.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
16:40
SPEAKER_03: Leave immediately.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
16:42
SPEAKER_03: For one, my sanity.
16:44
SPEAKER_03: I I I let it go on for too long.
16:47
SPEAKER_03: I feel like I lost a lot of years being unhappy.
16:53
SPEAKER_03: And I wouldn't want my I don't wouldn't want anybody to go through what I went through.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: Why did you what if your daughter wants to stay though?
17:00
SPEAKER_00: No.
17:02
SPEAKER_03: I feel like part of it is me not having like good relationships with my parents.
17:10
SPEAKER_03: So I didn't really have I don't really talk to my dad.
17:14
SPEAKER_03: And I wasn't really close with my mom growing up.
17:17
SPEAKER_03: So it's just like I feel like I had nowhere to go.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
17:20
SPEAKER_03: So that's pretty much why I stayed.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: Friends weren't there either, or is it there's a limit on where your friends could do or have a lot of friends.
17:28
SPEAKER_00: Me too.
17:29
unknown: Yeah.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: How if I would do that?
17:30
SPEAKER_03: So like my circle is very small.
17:32
SPEAKER_03: I have I like I have acquaintances, but like actual close friends.
17:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:38
SPEAKER_03: Very selective.
17:40
SPEAKER_00: Why do you think that is nowadays?
17:41
SPEAKER_00: Um back in the day, I'm friends with everybody.
17:45
SPEAKER_03: But now as we get older, our Well, friends, friends, what is a friend?
17:51
SPEAKER_00: What is a friend?
17:52
SPEAKER_03: Yes, what is a friend?
17:53
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: Now, like, like my definition of a friend now is if I hit up my homeboy or homegirl and say, hey man, can't I need 500 bucks?
18:04
SPEAKER_00: Can you hook me up?
18:05
SPEAKER_00: It's either yes, I have it, or no man, I really don't have it right now.
18:10
SPEAKER_00: But a a true homie would would have that.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: Because that tells me, like, yo, he's financially good.
18:16
SPEAKER_00: Two, he's like, yo, man, you my boy, you've done me a solid for all these years.
18:20
SPEAKER_00: Yo, here's the five.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: That's I mean that simplest that that's it.
18:25
SPEAKER_03: Or somebody who's just there for you.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: Somebody that's there when you need yeah.
18:29
SPEAKER_03: It's not always like, I feel like a lot of times it's like people will only contact me when they want something, but when I need them, they're not there for me.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: I hate that shit.
18:38
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
18:39
SPEAKER_03: So I just and it's not even about money.
18:42
SPEAKER_03: It's just I need you to be here.
18:44
SPEAKER_03: I need you to talk to me.
18:45
SPEAKER_03: I want a friend, I need a shoulder to cry on.
18:47
SPEAKER_03: And a lot of times nobody's ever there for me.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: Really?
18:50
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, there's a there's a handful, a handful of people that I can say have been there for me.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: How about now?
18:58
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: There's people there now that could you could holler at and just be like actually let me ask you this.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, I I messaged you several times and you are like super quick to response.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: To respond.
19:14
SPEAKER_02: Um selective.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: Oh, oh really?
19:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh shit.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: Well, okay, so I've read this thing where when a person texts someone and they respond back, it's because they, it's not because they're just waiting by their phone, but because their mental psyche is, it's like, it's in, I don't know if it's business mode, but it's the mental psyche just says it's important to um reply back and prompt instead of just waiting on it.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever heard of that before?
19:52
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
19:52
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if I'm sort of talking about.
19:54
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if I'm s but there's this thing like we're guys nowadays.
19:58
SPEAKER_03: They're like I what do you call them?
20:00
SPEAKER_03: Like they're like the girl in the relationship now because they like to play this game where they'll they'll wait for the girl.
20:07
SPEAKER_03: Because they'll like they'll get like say they'll get a text message from me, like, oh, I can't message her back right away because she's gonna think that I'm clingy or something, so they wait.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: I've seen that in so many TV shows, you know, and um I don't know, it's it's that's that Playboy mentality, right?
20:27
SPEAKER_03: Why?
20:27
SPEAKER_00: What?
20:27
SPEAKER_00: I don't I've never done that.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh out of my years of let's say I'm I'm married now, but when I was single, I would always like reply back, like, or if I got the number, I'm like, hey man, I met you, you know, last night.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: Like, I I'm good now.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm not drunk, I'm I'm there.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: Hey, I met you yesterday.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: Hopefully you remember me.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm Chris.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: And then you know, reply back this and the third.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: But I believe it's because um that girl thing, yeah, guys want to be um It's annoying.
20:58
SPEAKER_03: It pisses me pisses me off because I okay, I'm not always on my phone, but I have my phone in my hand majority of the time, like everybody else, right?
21:09
SPEAKER_03: So if I have it in my hand and I see your message, I am going to respond to you immediately.
21:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:16
SPEAKER_03: If I'm busy, sometimes I'll be at work, I'll see it, and I'll forget.
21:20
SPEAKER_03: So that's another problem with it.
21:21
SPEAKER_03: I'll be forgetting too.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: That's valid.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: That's valid.
21:23
SPEAKER_03: That's why I try not to open text when I'm like busy.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
21:26
SPEAKER_03: Because then I'll forget.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:28
SPEAKER_03: But I'm not ever the person that's just like, oh, this person texts.
21:32
SPEAKER_03: All right, I'm gonna play a game, I'll respond back to you five hours later because I don't want to come across as clingy.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: I don't like that.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: Not at all.
21:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:41
SPEAKER_00: It's um it's childish, it's immature.
21:44
SPEAKER_03: Very immature.
21:45
SPEAKER_03: Immature.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: It's immature.
21:46
SPEAKER_00: Like um, maybe it's cute when you're like in high school or some shit.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: But now as a as an adult, yeah.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: Well, I'll okay.
21:55
SPEAKER_03: I I teach my son to treat girls right, and he's had his girls.
22:00
SPEAKER_03: Since seventh grade, and he's a junior now.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: Let me ask you this then.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna switch this topic.
22:07
SPEAKER_00: Your son had his girlfriend seventh with and now they're together a junior.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: Um aren't you afraid or is he afraid of like just sticking with you know like the high school sweetheart thing and not experiencing any other personalities?
22:28
SPEAKER_03: That's his choice.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: That's his choice.
22:30
SPEAKER_03: I found out about this girlfriend behind my back.
22:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh so he got he got shit for it.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
22:37
SPEAKER_03: But I'm glad that he has one girl, because his his dad was a player.
22:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
22:44
SPEAKER_03: But they do plan to move away, and um, you know, they have goals for the future.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: And it it sounds like future plans together, so when um because I know a couple, not a lot, but I know um a couple of uh relationships that did start, like say freshman year, uh, and they're still going on strong now.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: That shit is like super rare because of um you know how it is, you know, nowadays.
23:19
SPEAKER_00: Back in the day, it was totally different.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: All you had to worry about was fucking AOL cheating.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: You know, like now it's anyone is accessible, right?
23:31
SPEAKER_00: So I believe I you know what, I'll pray for the guy.
23:35
SPEAKER_00: You know, because I do want to see like love succeed in that way.
23:39
unknown: Yeah.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: Because it's rare.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: It is, it's super rare.
23:42
unknown: Yes.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Especially knowing that, you know, you have these temptations out there.
23:47
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
23:48
SPEAKER_03: Social media is the worst.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: It is.
23:50
SPEAKER_03: It's it's you don't know what's in the DMs, you don't know what's in the stories.
23:56
SPEAKER_00: What do you mean what's in the stories?
23:58
SPEAKER_03: A guy can um like a girl's post a story, and your girlfriend wouldn't even know, versus liking it on an actual picture because you can't see the heart.
24:11
SPEAKER_03: Oh, here we go.
24:12
SPEAKER_03: Let's talk about this.
24:13
SPEAKER_00: Yo, let's definitely talk about this, alright?
24:16
SPEAKER_00: You post something funny.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: I thought it was funny.
24:19
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: I liked it.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: What is that telling you?
24:22
SPEAKER_00: It's a funny ass post.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: I kind.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: Should I have put in the the laughing emoji?
24:28
SPEAKER_03: No, okay, that's understandable.
24:30
SPEAKER_03: If it depends what content you're liking.
24:32
SPEAKER_03: If you're liking a recipe video, if you're liking a dog, if you're liking something funny, you know.
24:37
SPEAKER_03: But if you're liking a half-naked woman's picture, what are you liking that for?
24:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm liking I'm liking for the banner in the blue banner in the background.
24:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh, the beach in the background, right?
24:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:48
SPEAKER_03: Right.
24:49
SPEAKER_03: I've I've not exactly if you're liking constantly the same like images, you're not liking something just you thought it was funny.
24:58
SPEAKER_03: You're liking it because you like what you see.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: What if it was, you know how IG nowadays, IG now has the 20 slides.
25:10
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: What if you like, let's say, 18 out of those pictures, but the two of them, it's, you know, a guy in a man-thong or a girl showing body.
25:23
SPEAKER_00: Is that something if you're liking that?
25:25
SPEAKER_03: If you like the man thong?
25:28
SPEAKER_00: No, but no.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: Let's rephrase it.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: Out of out of that, out of those 20 slides, it was travel, travel, travel, food, travel, travel, travel, man thong, food, food, travel, travel, other explicit picture.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: Now, if that outweigh, if the if if the nice pictures outweigh that prog propagative, provocative, the the provocative yeah, that word.
25:53
SPEAKER_01: Provocative.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: Is that still something?
25:58
SPEAKER_00: Or you have to be very careful.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: We're we're we're gonna teach game today.
26:03
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
26:04
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
26:05
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
26:06
SPEAKER_00: If I like, okay.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: If I liked Jolly Bee, but the girl is let's say she she's fit, but she's wearing a Jolly Bee shirt.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: But I like Jolly Bee.
26:17
SPEAKER_03: No.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: That's nothing.
26:19
SPEAKER_03: No, it is something.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: It's something.
26:20
SPEAKER_03: It's something.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: Why is that something?
26:22
SPEAKER_00: I like Jolly Bee.
26:23
SPEAKER_03: Um you normally like all Jolly Bee's stuff.
26:25
SPEAKER_03: Like, what if it was just chicken?
26:27
SPEAKER_03: Would you have liked that picture if it was just a bucket of chicken?
26:29
SPEAKER_00: And what if I did yeah?
26:30
SPEAKER_00: Let's say yes.
26:31
SPEAKER_03: If you okay, so it's different if you constantly like something for something, like say, okay, you follow this one page and you're constantly liking their content, and it just happen so happens you they post the girl with whatever Jollibee tight shirt, whatever, and you like it, then it's I would think okay, they're just liking this because they like every single post.
26:53
SPEAKER_03: But if you're randomly just liking, okay, all of a sudden you like the Jollibee picture just because there's a chick on there, I would think that you're liking it because of the chick.
27:02
SPEAKER_00: I follow a lot of gym guys and stuff, and uh I'm not saying I'm gay, but I see the gray sweat imprint and I'm liking it.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: Does that make me a certain way?
27:14
SPEAKER_02: Maybe.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: No, fuck.
27:18
SPEAKER_02: Maybe.
27:18
SPEAKER_02: No way.
27:19
SPEAKER_02: Why would you like it?
27:21
SPEAKER_00: Because there's sh they're showing a workout, but because they're wearing You liked it because of the gray pants.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm definitely liking it because of the bulge.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
27:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:31
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
27:32
SPEAKER_03: Yep.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
27:35
SPEAKER_03: It's okay.
27:36
SPEAKER_03: Definitely.
27:37
SPEAKER_03: No judgment.
27:38
SPEAKER_00: Definitely no judgment.
27:39
SPEAKER_00: No judgment.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: Fucking open.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: Next question.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh-da.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: Can great sex make people stay in relationships they sh uh relationships they should leave?
27:50
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
27:51
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
27:51
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: I've been in one of those before.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
27:54
SPEAKER_00: It's like, fuck, how can I?
27:56
SPEAKER_00: How did you get out of it?
27:58
SPEAKER_00: Because my situation was, damn, I know this is fucking bad.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: I need basically I weaned off.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: No text, like, no reply, nothing.
28:11
SPEAKER_03: That's exactly what you have to do.
28:13
SPEAKER_03: No contact.
28:15
SPEAKER_03: Because if you keep going back, you're just gonna keep having sex.
28:20
SPEAKER_00: Let me ask you this now, Ashley, to caveat off that.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: When men or when people finally hook up, right?
28:28
SPEAKER_00: Majority of the time, it's like a a signifier of, yo, you're with me now.
28:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: It's an unspoken, whatchamacallit, right?
28:39
SPEAKER_00: Why is that?
28:40
SPEAKER_00: Because I've been in situations or I know people in situations where they hooked up with someone and you know nothing was solidified.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: Nothing was out there like, oh, you're mine, I'm yours now.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: So he did, you know, his own thing.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: And the girl's like, what the fuck?
28:57
SPEAKER_00: I thought we're together.
28:59
SPEAKER_03: But nothing was discussed this topic?
29:02
SPEAKER_03: Did they discuss them only sleeping with each other?
29:06
SPEAKER_00: No, they just you know they they just hooked up.
29:08
SPEAKER_00: So I think it was a miscommunication there, yeah.
29:12
SPEAKER_03: Because usually you have to have that conversation.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: Definitely now, yeah.
29:18
SPEAKER_03: And I'm for me personally, I have sex with somebody off of emotional attachment.
29:27
SPEAKER_03: So I've never been the type to just sleep around.
29:31
SPEAKER_03: So I don't know what that feels like.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: Sleep around school.
29:36
SPEAKER_03: Like multiple people, and just just to have sex with no with no emotion.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
29:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: I think that's the um okay, younger.
29:45
SPEAKER_00: Um physical trashing was the thing.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: I think when I got older, it was more emotional.
29:54
SPEAKER_00: Like I got it intact with my emotional side to where it's like I could see a hot one female.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh yeah, you know, she'd be alright to smash, but am I gonna pursue it?
30:06
SPEAKER_00: Probably not.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: Because she could be dumbass rocks.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, and I believe women are the same way too.
30:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh man, that motherfucker got a six-pack, he packing, but damn, after that, I mean, this motherfucker might be stupid too.
30:22
SPEAKER_03: No, so for me, is it like that?
30:24
SPEAKER_03: Well, obviously, looks will get you to the door, right?
30:28
SPEAKER_03: Your personality for me gets you in the door.
30:31
SPEAKER_03: And then everything after that is what gets you to the finish line, right?
30:36
SPEAKER_03: So that's what for me what it is.
30:38
SPEAKER_03: And I could have this hot guy, but if there's no personality, I don't want you.
30:45
SPEAKER_00: What's the I don't want you personality-wise, what's the what does a guy have to do to get in the door?
30:53
SPEAKER_00: Because getting to the door is easy.
30:55
SPEAKER_03: We have to be able to click.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: We have to have what's the click for women?
31:01
SPEAKER_03: For me, it's chemistry.
31:02
SPEAKER_03: Like if you click with me, if we vibe well, then you're it for me.
31:06
SPEAKER_03: But that gets you in the door.
31:07
SPEAKER_03: Yes, that gets you in the door.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: And then to close it off, what's the what stops it?
31:12
SPEAKER_00: Because the person got in the door.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: What stops it?
31:16
SPEAKER_00: So there's a lot of things.
31:19
SPEAKER_03: I don't I can speak only for myself.
31:21
SPEAKER_03: I can only I can only speak for myself.
31:23
SPEAKER_03: So I I forgot the question.
31:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh what stops the finish line?
31:30
SPEAKER_00: Like he he he's in the door.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: Well, what fucks it all up or what gets Oh, okay.
31:35
SPEAKER_00: I remembered that.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: No, it you say it, you said it was um what did you say?
31:39
SPEAKER_00: You said it was uh when you're clicking that gets you there, right?
31:44
SPEAKER_03: So I don't like to be chased.
31:48
SPEAKER_03: For me, it's when a guy chases me.
31:51
SPEAKER_03: It's it's like doesn't give me space, you know.
31:54
SPEAKER_03: I don't like to be smothered.
31:56
SPEAKER_03: I don't like I don't like multiple.
31:58
SPEAKER_03: What are you doing?
31:58
SPEAKER_03: What are you doing now?
31:59
SPEAKER_03: Blah blah blah.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: Like I fucking hate that shit.
32:01
SPEAKER_03: Don't need to know what I'm doing 24 hours out of my day.
32:04
SPEAKER_03: You really don't?
32:04
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
32:05
SPEAKER_03: And that that scares me.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: I don't obsessive much?
32:10
unknown: Yes, yes.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: I really hate that.
32:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, I was a guy that, you know, during before I was married, I was never that.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
32:19
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
32:20
SPEAKER_00: 20 minutes later, oh what you doing?
32:22
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
32:23
SPEAKER_00: There's no comfort.
32:24
SPEAKER_03: Can I see you?
32:24
SPEAKER_03: Can I see you?
32:25
SPEAKER_03: Can I see you?
32:25
SPEAKER_00: Like Fuck no, fuck no.
32:27
SPEAKER_00: If if you're a guy or a gal that's that, uh, don't do it.
32:32
SPEAKER_00: For gals that are doing that, what makes them um, in your opinion, Miss Ashley, what that are being obsessive?
32:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what's what's keeping that?
32:42
SPEAKER_03: It's it's insecurity.
32:44
SPEAKER_03: It's insecurity because I know a lot of guys that are in that that type of relationship where they're so um, they're on ball and chain, they have no freedom because they're being controlled by their woman.
32:58
SPEAKER_03: And that's crazy.
32:59
SPEAKER_03: Like they can't even go out without having their woman be like, oh, what are you doing?
33:05
SPEAKER_03: Like just go out.
33:07
SPEAKER_03: Do what she wanted to do, you're grown as adult, right?
33:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
33:10
SPEAKER_03: I cannot.
33:10
SPEAKER_03: I can't go here because I told her I'm not gonna go to the bar.
33:13
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, because why?
33:16
SPEAKER_03: Like, for instance, I can't I can't I can't go to the bar because I wanna I wanna play darts, but I can't go to the bar because my chick's gonna get mad.
33:24
SPEAKER_03: But you're not doing anything doing anything wrong.
33:26
SPEAKER_00: You're not.
33:27
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
33:27
SPEAKER_03: That's and when I go to the bar, I'm there to play darts.
33:31
SPEAKER_03: I'm not there to check out people, I'm not there to drink, I'm there to play darts.
33:35
SPEAKER_00: And if it happens, it happens, right?
33:37
SPEAKER_03: No.
33:37
SPEAKER_03: I'll never ever meet up a guy and date a guy that I meet at the bar.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: Pause.
33:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
33:43
SPEAKER_00: You're out playing darts, you're having a good time.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: A guy sees you attractive and says, Hey, um, ma'am, miss, you are a very prairie person.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: A very prayer person.
33:56
SPEAKER_00: I think you're very pretty.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: I just want you to know that I acknowledge your prettiness and then walks off.
34:05
SPEAKER_00: Cool.
34:06
SPEAKER_00: He said his piece, whatever the thing.
34:08
SPEAKER_00: You cannot say that you're like it can't happen, but you're saying that you're not looking.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: But at that time, you're you're on notice now because he stepped up.
34:18
SPEAKER_03: I I don't I don't I feel like okay, thank you, and that's it.
34:21
SPEAKER_00: That's it, right?
34:22
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
34:22
SPEAKER_03: But that's it.
34:23
SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
34:25
SPEAKER_03: I don't think I don't um initiate anything, I don't pursue anything.
34:29
SPEAKER_03: It's friends.
34:31
SPEAKER_03: If you're gonna if you're gonna talk to me and come up to you, you can be my friends.
34:34
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
34:35
SPEAKER_03: But I'm not going to date you.
34:36
SPEAKER_00: From a bar.
34:37
SPEAKER_03: I tell oh anybody.
34:38
SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm seeing somebody.
34:40
SPEAKER_03: But I'm in general, I always tell people.
34:41
SPEAKER_00: Let's take the sing somebody out.
34:43
SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay.
34:43
SPEAKER_03: It's a season.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: Oh, sorry, guy.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: But would could could that guy um would you be interested in seeing him like a guy that I met at the bar?
34:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
34:55
SPEAKER_03: No.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: No.
34:56
SPEAKER_03: No.
34:57
SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
34:58
SPEAKER_00: Why is that?
34:59
SPEAKER_00: Why not the bar scene?
35:01
SPEAKER_03: It's just it's just a bad scene.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: Is it?
35:04
SPEAKER_03: It's not the place where you meet people.
35:07
SPEAKER_03: Because if okay, if you're meeting me at the bar, okay.
35:10
SPEAKER_03: And you're talking to me at the bar, you pursued me at the bar.
35:12
SPEAKER_00: You're pursuing other people.
35:13
SPEAKER_03: How many, yeah, exactly.
35:14
SPEAKER_03: How many other people are you pursuing at the bar?
35:17
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
35:18
SPEAKER_03: I'm not the first.
35:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but what if, you know, the guy's just gotten shut down and that's like, yo, I'm I'm here to bar with my friends.
35:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm just here to shoot my shot.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: If something happens, hey, it happens.
35:31
SPEAKER_00: But obviously, nothing has happened yet, therefore I'm out there fishing.
35:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, not for me.
35:38
SPEAKER_00: Not for you.
35:39
SPEAKER_00: What's it where can a guy, a respectable guy, where can he find a respectable woman?
35:46
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
35:46
SPEAKER_03: Grocery store?
35:47
SPEAKER_03: But even that probably not.
35:49
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
35:50
SPEAKER_03: I don't I'm not out here trying to meet guys.
35:52
SPEAKER_00: I know.
35:52
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
35:53
SPEAKER_03: You know definitely not on Instagram though.
35:56
SPEAKER_03: If you're in my DMs, oh shoot.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: No, you're good.
35:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're you're not, you're not, you're not getting a response back.
36:01
SPEAKER_03: If I don't know you, I don't ever so I see that So you didn't know me.
36:05
SPEAKER_00: How did this happen?
36:06
SPEAKER_03: It's different.
36:07
SPEAKER_03: It's different.
36:08
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
36:09
SPEAKER_03: It's different.
36:10
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
36:10
SPEAKER_03: It's the you're not trying to date me.
36:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
36:14
SPEAKER_03: You're not trying to date me.
36:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know.
36:17
SPEAKER_03: These guys.
36:18
SPEAKER_03: Oh, if you only seen my DM.
36:20
SPEAKER_00: Give me one.
36:21
SPEAKER_00: Give me like one line or one uh hey mama, how you doing?
36:27
SPEAKER_03: It's always somebody trying to ask to take me out to dinner.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
36:31
SPEAKER_03: But then, you know, I get the messages in response to some of my content, but or just some random like, oh, I want to come on your face.
36:42
SPEAKER_03: Um shut the fuck up.
36:46
SPEAKER_00: You guys are ballsy like that.
36:49
SPEAKER_03: So ballsy.
36:50
SPEAKER_03: Are you serious?
36:52
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
36:54
SPEAKER_03: Do you sell content?
36:55
SPEAKER_03: Do you have OnlyFans?
36:56
SPEAKER_03: I don't have OnlyFans.
36:58
SPEAKER_00: I would have been like, I sell my feet.
37:00
SPEAKER_03: No, not even that.
37:02
SPEAKER_00: Let me be a female.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: Good boy.
37:06
SPEAKER_00: So these What goes in your mind when you get these fucking, these nasty ass DMs?
37:12
SPEAKER_00: Because to me, that's nasty as fuck.
37:13
SPEAKER_03: It's nasty, but um I have to begin.
37:16
SPEAKER_03: It's it's it's comedic for me.
37:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
37:18
SPEAKER_03: I laugh.
37:19
SPEAKER_03: I laugh, I don't respond.
37:21
SPEAKER_03: Because um no response is a response.
37:24
SPEAKER_03: So I see, I see the DMs.
37:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
37:27
SPEAKER_03: I see the DMs, I just don't ever respond.
37:29
SPEAKER_03: Never respond.
37:30
SPEAKER_00: Has it ever happened to where it was the people that you know that DM you these obscene things?
37:36
SPEAKER_03: No, because everybody that I know, I follow back.
37:39
SPEAKER_03: So the people that I follow, they'll automatically go to my primary messages.
37:45
SPEAKER_03: And I have another um inbox that's hidden messages and um what do you call that?
37:52
SPEAKER_03: Requesting.
37:54
SPEAKER_03: So it's all filtered out.
37:56
SPEAKER_03: So it's not getting all mixed up with all my primary.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm so happy that you clicked on the um filtered uh button and got to me because I would have never got into your primary, right?
38:07
SPEAKER_03: Correct, correct.
38:08
SPEAKER_03: But that's why I filter out everything.
38:10
SPEAKER_03: I do see all my DMs.
38:12
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know what?
38:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm kind of let's rewind.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm glad that you do see your DMs because I wouldn't have this opportunity to have you on, you know, in the chair today.
38:26
SPEAKER_00: So, like, kudos to you.
38:28
SPEAKER_03: And like you for having me.
38:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh, word?
38:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh, no, thank no, thank you.
38:32
SPEAKER_00: I enjoy this kind of right, and you're enjoying this so far, right?
38:37
SPEAKER_00: Cool.
38:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, there's some actresses, well, other influencers and content creators that I've been trying to reach out, and I get no time of day.
38:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, dog, especially the guys.
38:49
SPEAKER_03: It's see, I'm not that type of person.
38:51
SPEAKER_03: I'm very humble.
38:52
SPEAKER_03: I try to make a lot of people.
38:53
SPEAKER_03: Thank you so fucking much.
38:54
SPEAKER_03: But I don't ever let that get to my head because people are like, oh, you're Ashley's eyes, you're a content creator.
38:58
SPEAKER_03: I'm not a content creator.
38:59
SPEAKER_03: I just make reels for fun.
39:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm just I'm just motherfucking Ashley.
39:02
SPEAKER_00: But dude, I I get a lot of these um messages like, oh Chris, why you why do you mainly have women on your on your pod?
39:11
SPEAKER_00: You know, we need some guys, dude.
39:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm shooting my shot with these guys.
39:16
SPEAKER_00: They don't want to.
39:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I'm not, you know, I'm not gay.
39:20
SPEAKER_00: Holy fuck, man.
39:21
SPEAKER_00: You know, like shit, you might be handsome and shit, but goddamn, I'm not, you know, I'm not trying to do that, but why are guys?
39:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna ask you, why are guys saying no to come on, but women are like, oh sure, you know, let me check my schedule.
39:40
SPEAKER_03: I feel maybe they think you're gay, but they just don't- If I'm fucking gay, I'm kinda handsome too.
39:45
SPEAKER_03: Or maybe they just don't like guys aren't into this kind of stuff, you know.
39:48
SPEAKER_03: Maybe it would be opposite if it was a girl asking them, you know.
39:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
39:53
SPEAKER_00: Okay, that makes sense.
39:54
SPEAKER_00: Anu, come back, please.
39:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, she she just had a baby.
39:58
SPEAKER_00: My female cohost just had a baby, and I'm giv you know, I'm not giving her a fuck no.
40:03
SPEAKER_00: She chose to have some time off, which I respect.
40:06
SPEAKER_00: You feel me?
40:08
SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, next question.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: Would you rather have incredible chemistry with someone who isn't relationship material or mediocre chemistry with someone who treats you perfectly?
40:20
SPEAKER_03: I'd have to say the chemistry.
40:24
SPEAKER_00: Mediocre chemistry?
40:25
SPEAKER_03: No.
40:26
SPEAKER_00: The other one with someone who isn't relationship material.
40:33
SPEAKER_00: I could attest to that.
40:34
SPEAKER_00: Um I've been in um in friendships where friendships are fucking dope.
40:41
SPEAKER_00: But I'm not trying to lay up with you.
40:44
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
40:45
SPEAKER_00: You know, like I could keep that fine line.
40:47
SPEAKER_03: That's exactly.
40:48
SPEAKER_03: I have a lot of guy friends.
40:50
SPEAKER_03: A lot.
40:50
SPEAKER_03: And they know where my boundaries are.
40:53
SPEAKER_03: I don't sleep around.
40:54
SPEAKER_03: And so that's why it's just friendship.
40:57
SPEAKER_00: For younger women, why is it um I don't know the word, but I'm gonna say bad because that's the easiest word.
41:07
SPEAKER_03: Younger women, I'm not a younger woman.
41:08
SPEAKER_00: No, no, but I'm asking you younger women, when they find out that a certain female has more guy friends than you know, girlfriends, they automatically think that she's a hoe.
41:20
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
41:20
SPEAKER_00: Why is that?
41:21
SPEAKER_03: Because they're probably sleeping around.
41:24
SPEAKER_03: You wouldn't have that in your mind if you weren't doing it yourself.
41:29
SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
41:30
SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
41:30
SPEAKER_03: Why would you think that?
41:33
SPEAKER_00: Why would you?
41:34
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
41:35
SPEAKER_03: The only reason you would think that is if you're doing that.
41:40
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
41:41
SPEAKER_03: And the majority of the time they are the ones that are sleeping around.
41:45
SPEAKER_03: It's the younger generation, they probably have their hands and their toes, and they still can't count how many guys they've been with.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: Yuck.
41:54
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
41:55
SPEAKER_00: Are you serious?
41:56
SPEAKER_03: I'm pretty sure, and I still can count fingers on my hands.
42:00
SPEAKER_03: And I'm I'm 40.
42:03
SPEAKER_03: Because I'm not a hoe.
42:04
SPEAKER_00: Not a hoe.
42:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, so with guys, guys that hang out with a lot of females, you know, like back in the day, younger.
42:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, that just said, well, to me, and I I know a lot of my old school homies could attest to this, uh, one, it's majority of the time, it's they swing that way.
42:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, like they're gay.
42:26
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
42:27
SPEAKER_00: They're gay, or it's one of those situations where the guy has a sister, older sister or whatever, and they and he's just hanging out with the older sister or sister's friends.
42:40
SPEAKER_00: But if a guy is hanging out with a lot of women, um, the whole, oh man, he's a player, he's getting them all those bras, that's not happening.
42:51
SPEAKER_00: So it always it's always one of those two things.
42:53
SPEAKER_00: Do you agree to that?
42:55
SPEAKER_03: Hanging out at your friends' sisters.
42:57
SPEAKER_00: Or like like a guy that hangs out with nothing but girls.
43:00
SPEAKER_00: It's either one, he's gay, or two, it's I agree.
43:05
SPEAKER_03: I'm for that.
43:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
43:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
43:08
SPEAKER_00: What would you think if younger you saw a guy with a lot of females?
43:14
SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, for one, like you said, they're gay, which is you know that's a token gay guy, right?
43:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, none wrong.
43:20
SPEAKER_03: And then you do have the older sister hang out with girls.
43:23
unknown: Yeah.
43:23
SPEAKER_03: It could also be like he doesn't have a lot of friends.
43:26
SPEAKER_03: He could be a homebody, just quiet, shy.
43:29
SPEAKER_00: And then the the women accepted him.
43:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I like that.
43:34
unknown: Yeah.
43:35
SPEAKER_00: It sucks nowadays, like not having friends like that.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: Because um, you know, bless bless his little heart.
43:41
SPEAKER_00: My b my little boy, he says that he doesn't have a lot of friends at school.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, oh, but why?
43:49
SPEAKER_00: Like you're such a cool kid.
43:50
SPEAKER_00: It's like, nah, but they're just is he bullied?
43:52
SPEAKER_00: No, he's not bullied, but he just his interests are different.
43:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, like he's still liking dinosaurs, he's still He still has an imagination.
44:04
SPEAKER_03: I was that black sheep child walking around.
44:05
SPEAKER_03: Really?
44:07
SPEAKER_00: How did you deal with it?
44:09
SPEAKER_03: I just so during lunch I would just walk around school.
44:12
SPEAKER_03: Like I'd have acquaintances that I would that I would have to do.
44:15
SPEAKER_00: He does too, yeah.
44:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:16
SPEAKER_03: Just occupy myself, keep myself occupied.
44:19
SPEAKER_00: But easier said that, well, I mean you're a kid, so I mean but um okay.
44:24
SPEAKER_00: Cool.
44:25
SPEAKER_00: Next question.
44:26
SPEAKER_00: Uh uh what's something women lie to their girlfriends about after a breakup?
44:33
SPEAKER_03: Their girlfriends?
44:34
unknown: Yeah.
44:35
SPEAKER_00: What's something women lie to their girlfriends about after a breakup?
44:39
SPEAKER_03: I don't have a lot of girlfriends, but if I was to, I would probably lie about I'm not seeing him, but I am.
44:48
SPEAKER_03: You know?
44:49
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
44:49
SPEAKER_03: Like, are you still talking to him?
44:51
SPEAKER_03: No.
44:51
SPEAKER_00: Has that ever happened?
44:53
SPEAKER_03: Have you all the time because they don't want you talking to him.
44:56
SPEAKER_03: They you break up to end it because he's toxic or whatever.
45:00
SPEAKER_03: And then you know, you go to your friends for advice.
45:04
SPEAKER_03: I give advice that I don't normally take, and I always end up going back to toxicity.
45:09
SPEAKER_00: I was gonna get back to that.
45:10
SPEAKER_00: I was gonna get to that.
45:11
SPEAKER_00: Um, when you're asking advice from your friends, ultimately the the the final decision comes down to you, right?
45:19
SPEAKER_00: Correct.
45:19
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever taken your friends' advice, or majority of the time, are you just like, I'm just here just to hear validation?
45:28
SPEAKER_00: Fuck it, I'm gonna do me.
45:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm toxic.
45:31
SPEAKER_03: My toxic my toxic Miss Ashley over here, man.
45:36
SPEAKER_03: Giving the best advice.
45:38
SPEAKER_03: And the advice that I give to my friends, yeah, they give it back to me, I'm not taking it.
45:43
SPEAKER_03: I will not.
45:44
SPEAKER_03: I'm stubborn.
45:46
SPEAKER_00: What's your sign?
45:47
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
45:49
SPEAKER_00: Stubborn?
45:52
SPEAKER_00: Gemini?
45:53
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
45:54
SPEAKER_00: Wow! Give me that.
45:56
SPEAKER_00: Give me that.
45:57
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
45:58
SPEAKER_00: Holy fuck.
45:59
SPEAKER_03: Yes, I'm a Gemini.
46:00
SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay.
46:01
SPEAKER_03: But it explains a lot.
46:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm not keen into like let me take it back.
46:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't go into depth, uh, you know, with the whole, was it a horoscope thing?
46:13
SPEAKER_03: Me neither.
46:13
SPEAKER_03: But it's uh my traits are Gemini.
46:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like I just read you know, like when you read horoscopes, right?
46:18
SPEAKER_00: You only read like the top sentence.
46:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm that.
46:21
SPEAKER_00: I don't I really don't go into depth.
46:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
46:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm not that personal.
46:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, as long as you know it's like, oh, this motherfucker kinda mmm.
46:27
SPEAKER_03: And I'm not like, oh my god, what's your sign?
46:29
SPEAKER_03: Are we matched?
46:30
SPEAKER_03: No.
46:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm not like that either.
46:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm not like that either.
46:32
SPEAKER_00: Why is that?
46:33
SPEAKER_03: Why, why I don't know.
46:35
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
46:36
SPEAKER_03: It's I don't even think it matters what your sign is.
46:38
SPEAKER_00: A lot of the women that are in the guard.
46:41
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
46:42
SPEAKER_00: They bring up that.
46:44
SPEAKER_00: They they like to bring up, oh, what's your sign?
46:46
SPEAKER_03: Like, motherfucker.
46:47
SPEAKER_03: Why?
46:48
SPEAKER_00: What does it matter?
46:49
SPEAKER_00: You want my credit score too?
46:50
SPEAKER_03: Like what are the stars?
46:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right?
46:53
SPEAKER_00: But they like just like, oh, uh, we don't mesh.
46:56
SPEAKER_00: Uh we're not compatible.
46:57
SPEAKER_00: I was like, motherfucker.
46:58
unknown: No.
46:59
SPEAKER_00: You're a soldier.
47:00
SPEAKER_00: I I don't give a fuck if we mesh or not.
47:02
SPEAKER_00: Can you can you like can you execute, you know?
47:05
SPEAKER_00: That's all I care about.
47:06
SPEAKER_00: Can you execute and follow direction?
47:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't give a fuck if our signs are compatible.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: Fuck that.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: What is wrong with you, man?
47:12
SPEAKER_03: No, no, I don't I don't understand a lot of what's he's a fire in your water.
47:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, bitch.
47:17
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
47:17
SPEAKER_03: Just carry on.
47:18
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
47:19
SPEAKER_00: Definitely carry on.
47:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, I think people our age, we have more things important to think and deal with than that.
47:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
47:30
SPEAKER_03: More important things than dealing with what is your horoscope sign?
47:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
47:35
SPEAKER_00: Right?
47:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
47:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking about like, man, I need gas, man.
47:39
SPEAKER_00: Should I go tonight or tomorrow morning?
47:42
SPEAKER_03: I always I always say I'm gonna go the next the next day, and I always don't.
47:48
SPEAKER_03: I do, but I'm rushing.
47:51
SPEAKER_00: Uh okay, let's see.
47:54
SPEAKER_00: Here we go, here we go.
47:55
SPEAKER_00: You ready for another one?
47:56
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever stalked an ex on social media?
48:01
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
48:02
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
48:03
SPEAKER_03: Who doesn't?
48:03
SPEAKER_03: Who doesn't?
48:06
SPEAKER_03: Who doesn't stalk?
48:07
SPEAKER_03: It's it's not even that, it's also your your your boyfriend or your girlfriend.
48:11
SPEAKER_00: I don't now, but I used to.
48:13
SPEAKER_03: Okay, see, we're all guilty.
48:14
SPEAKER_00: Because I want to see if it's an upgrade or a downgrade.
48:18
SPEAKER_03: Yes, that's exactly what it is.
48:20
SPEAKER_03: You wanna validate to yourself if you're if you're prettier or handsomer.
48:25
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
48:26
SPEAKER_03: But it's not always about looks, you know, it could be their personality.
48:29
SPEAKER_00: This is true.
48:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:31
SPEAKER_00: Personality does go a long way, though.
48:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna lie to you.
48:33
SPEAKER_00: It does like uh back in the day, I used to talk to fives because their personalities are like 12s, you know, from a from a scale from one to ten, right?
48:44
unknown: Right.
48:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:45
SPEAKER_03: I'll take personality over.
48:47
SPEAKER_00: Oh, definitely, definitely.
48:49
SPEAKER_03: Because your looks are gonna fade.
48:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
48:52
SPEAKER_03: Your looks are not everything.
48:53
SPEAKER_00: Like all that makeup, motherfucker, you can't make it.
48:55
SPEAKER_03: And it's not even money either.
48:56
SPEAKER_03: You don't even have to have a lot of money.
48:57
SPEAKER_03: It's just your personality.
48:59
unknown: Yes.
49:00
SPEAKER_00: Mm-mm.
49:02
SPEAKER_00: Um, recently, uh has personality been, like, say, and I know you're taken.
49:10
SPEAKER_03: Not taken.
49:11
SPEAKER_03: I'm single.
49:13
SPEAKER_00: Singly taken.
49:16
SPEAKER_00: Um has looks been like been attracted to you or personality been attracted to you lately?
49:23
SPEAKER_03: Well, you need looks to get to me initially, right?
49:28
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
49:29
SPEAKER_03: I'm not just gonna go to some random, but yes, it's mainly personality.
49:34
unknown: Yeah.
49:35
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
49:35
SPEAKER_03: I don't even have a type.
49:36
SPEAKER_03: If you were to see all the guys I date, they look all different.
49:39
SPEAKER_00: Really?
49:39
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
49:41
SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
49:43
SPEAKER_00: You don't have a type.
49:46
SPEAKER_00: What do they majority have besides, you know, the normal hands and feet?
49:51
SPEAKER_00: They're all anything.
49:53
SPEAKER_03: They don't chase me.
49:54
SPEAKER_03: That's for sure.
49:55
SPEAKER_00: Ah, okay.
49:56
SPEAKER_03: Um, as if you're uh talking about ethnicity, yeah.
50:00
SPEAKER_03: It's mainly been like half-white, but now I'm not even into that anymore.
50:05
SPEAKER_03: It's just personality.
50:07
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
50:08
SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
50:11
SPEAKER_00: Personality.
50:13
SPEAKER_00: When a man makes a woman laugh, that goes a long way.
50:18
SPEAKER_03: It does.
50:19
SPEAKER_03: If I can I'm goofy, so if you can't laugh with me, you have to have a really good personal like um, what do you have?
50:25
SPEAKER_03: Um, what is that called?
50:28
SPEAKER_03: I can't think of the word.
50:30
SPEAKER_00: Neither can I.
50:31
SPEAKER_00: I don't be hey, I'd be blanking out on this.
50:34
SPEAKER_03: What is that word when you when you make people laugh?
50:36
SPEAKER_00: Um humor?
50:39
SPEAKER_03: Yes, sense of humor.
50:43
SPEAKER_03: You have to have a good sense of humor.
50:45
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
50:46
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
50:46
SPEAKER_00: Your your whole media page is nothing but sense of that's just me.
50:51
SPEAKER_00: Goofy.
50:51
SPEAKER_03: Yes, I'm very goofy.
50:53
SPEAKER_00: So So you're you're like and we're going back to your page.
50:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, your content, fun, live, that's you every day.
51:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, none of it's all fake.
51:05
SPEAKER_00: It's all it's all real.
51:07
SPEAKER_00: How how how does the men that let's say that was in your life, how did they handle like such an energetic like personality?
51:16
SPEAKER_03: Well, my ex didn't like it.
51:18
SPEAKER_03: He thought all I wanted to do was get attention, but that's not it.
51:22
SPEAKER_03: That's just how I am.
51:24
SPEAKER_00: And that's your outlet, right?
51:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
51:26
SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
51:28
SPEAKER_00: Um, what's something about your uh dating history that would surprise people who follow you?
51:34
SPEAKER_03: I've only had three boyfriends.
51:36
SPEAKER_00: And how were they?
51:38
SPEAKER_03: High school, the first baby daddy, and the 14 year old.
51:42
SPEAKER_00: What stopped the high school one from progressing?
51:46
SPEAKER_03: He was older.
51:47
SPEAKER_03: He was gr he was a senior, I was a sophomore, he was graduating, so you know, you're going off to college.
51:54
SPEAKER_03: What do you want a high school girlfriend for?
51:56
SPEAKER_03: So he left me.
51:59
SPEAKER_00: First baby daddy?
52:00
SPEAKER_03: First baby daddy cheating.
52:02
SPEAKER_00: Second baby daddy.
52:03
SPEAKER_03: The narc narcissist.
52:06
SPEAKER_00: Cool.
52:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
52:08
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
52:08
SPEAKER_00: Uh God has a plan for you.
52:10
SPEAKER_03: Um be single for the rest of my life.
52:12
SPEAKER_00: Hey, you know what?
52:13
SPEAKER_00: Ain't nothing wrong with that.
52:14
SPEAKER_00: Ain't nothing wrong with that, but if he does hook you up with a man of a man, uh you you're deserving.
52:21
SPEAKER_03: He has to add to my happiness.
52:24
SPEAKER_00: Right?
52:26
SPEAKER_00: And not to your stressful uh disturb my peace.
52:29
SPEAKER_03: You can stay far, far away.
52:32
SPEAKER_00: Fuck yeah.
52:33
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
52:33
SPEAKER_00: I told my wife this, and like I um I told her no one deserves like to disrupt my peace.
52:42
SPEAKER_00: I will dip the fuck out.
52:44
SPEAKER_00: Like, I will divorce if my mental and my peace is like broken.
52:50
SPEAKER_00: You know, because I don't like that shit at all.
52:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, um, before, like, I don't know if it was this, I forgot if it was like last year or two years ago.
53:00
SPEAKER_00: I was going through some mental shit.
53:01
unknown: Okay.
53:01
SPEAKER_00: And I couldn't like talk to her about it because it was one of those things where now I can, but before it's she would say something back, but all I want to do is I wanted someone to vent to.
53:15
SPEAKER_00: I want to fucking answer.
53:16
SPEAKER_00: I just want you to fucking hear me out.
53:18
SPEAKER_00: She couldn't do that.
53:19
SPEAKER_00: I got a therapist and everything.
53:21
SPEAKER_00: But during that time, I was like, yo, man, this fucking sucks.
53:25
SPEAKER_03: That's what you need though.
53:26
SPEAKER_03: And you're going through mental health issues.
53:28
SPEAKER_03: Not a lot of people like to talk about it.
53:30
SPEAKER_03: All you want is somebody to listen to you.
53:33
SPEAKER_03: That's that's you don't even have to say anything.
53:35
SPEAKER_03: Just sit there and listen.
53:37
SPEAKER_03: And that goes a long way.
53:39
SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah.
53:39
SPEAKER_00: Nod the fuck, man.
53:40
SPEAKER_00: Like if you're if secret, if you're not into that discussion that, you know, if someone's trying to vent to you, just fucking nod.
53:48
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
53:49
SPEAKER_00: Like, just be like, damn, for real?
53:51
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
53:52
SPEAKER_00: Keep going.
53:53
SPEAKER_03: You don't even need to say anything.
53:54
SPEAKER_03: Just listen to me.
53:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
53:55
SPEAKER_03: Be there knowing that I have somebody I can talk to.
53:59
SPEAKER_00: People are so quick to add their two cents in.
54:01
SPEAKER_03: Well, they a lot of people who don't suffer with mental illness, they they judge people and they just think we're crazy, right?
54:09
SPEAKER_03: Like I get a lot of oh, you're crazy, you can't control your emotions, but that shit pisses me off too.
54:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like, bitch, I do.
54:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
54:16
SPEAKER_00: We'll see.
54:18
SPEAKER_03: Trying so hard.
54:19
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
54:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, don't judge me.
54:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, all we can do is try.
54:23
SPEAKER_00: Miss Ashley, what's your I can fix him story?
54:28
SPEAKER_03: I can fix him.
54:29
SPEAKER_03: This is with all guys.
54:31
SPEAKER_03: I think that's another toxic thing.
54:33
SPEAKER_03: I stay with them because I feel like I can fix them just I don't have a story.
54:40
SPEAKER_03: It's just I just stay in relationships where I feel like the guy is going to change.
54:46
SPEAKER_00: When can for a woman?
54:49
SPEAKER_00: Because for a man, it's uh if we could fix her, I don't know.
54:53
SPEAKER_00: You know that saying can't make a whole housewife.
54:56
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
54:57
SPEAKER_00: I say uh for men, if we can't fix them, we gotta leave 'em, man.
55:03
SPEAKER_00: Cause it's uh it's gonna be one of them repetitive cycles.
55:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:09
SPEAKER_00: I think I give a guy three tr uh I give a woman three tries.
55:12
SPEAKER_00: If I can't fix you, the third try.
55:14
SPEAKER_03: She should only have one.
55:16
SPEAKER_00: One?
55:16
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
55:18
SPEAKER_00: A guy should only have one?
55:19
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
55:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
55:21
SPEAKER_03: If I give you a chance and you you say that you fuck up, I give you a chance.
55:25
SPEAKER_03: You have one chance to prove proof prove that to me.
55:27
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
55:28
SPEAKER_03: Why should I give you more?
55:29
SPEAKER_00: And your deuces.
55:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
55:31
unknown: Good.
55:32
SPEAKER_03: If you're sorry, first of all, when somebody says sorry, you have to mean it.
55:36
SPEAKER_03: If you keep doing it again, you're not sorry.
55:38
SPEAKER_00: Oh, definitely not.
55:39
SPEAKER_03: Same thing.
55:40
SPEAKER_00: Definitely not.
55:41
SPEAKER_00: What if it's one of those I forget sorries?
55:43
SPEAKER_03: I forget.
55:44
SPEAKER_00: No, like like, let's say you did you apologized for the first thing and then you don't do it again, but it's something similar to like, oh shit, I I kind of fucked up.
55:56
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is kind of like the same situation from last time.
55:59
SPEAKER_00: Can you say sorry to that too?
56:00
SPEAKER_03: If you're take if you yourself are taking accountability for something that you knew, then yes, that's something to be forgiven for.
56:08
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
56:08
SPEAKER_00: But it's just to say sorry.
56:10
SPEAKER_03: Taking accountability is a big step.
56:12
SPEAKER_00: Definitely.
56:13
SPEAKER_00: Do you take accountability on a large?
56:14
SPEAKER_03: I make it.
56:15
SPEAKER_00: I take that shit to heart.
56:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, fuck, dude.
56:18
SPEAKER_00: Why?
56:18
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna switch this to kids before we dip out.
56:21
SPEAKER_00: Why do you think um like say when kids are doing wrong, why do you think parents aren't having them take accountable for their actions?
56:33
SPEAKER_00: Per Hemplo, um, on the mainland, kids are fucking being crazy.
56:39
SPEAKER_00: They are killing each other, and parents are like, no, but he's a fucking good kid.
56:44
SPEAKER_00: This and the third.
56:45
SPEAKER_00: But point blank, this kid killed another kid.
56:49
SPEAKER_00: Why, yeah, why is that happening nowadays?
56:52
SPEAKER_03: You think like why parents the parents aren't punishing their kids?
56:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like you should know what your kids are doing.
57:00
SPEAKER_03: You should it it's I blame the parents.
57:02
SPEAKER_03: They're not giving their kids attention, they're neglecting them, so kids are out doing whatever the fuck they want.
57:09
SPEAKER_00: Do you think it's right for whatever happens to the kid, the parents should get punished as well?
57:15
SPEAKER_03: I think it should.
57:16
SPEAKER_03: Because I agree.
57:17
SPEAKER_00: I agree to that too.
57:18
SPEAKER_03: They are minors and you're responsible for them.
57:21
SPEAKER_03: So you as a parent need to take that responsibility, you know.
57:26
SPEAKER_00: Fill you.
57:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad that we live in Hawaii because all this bullshit that's happening on the mainland ain't happening here.
57:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying.
57:34
SPEAKER_00: There is a shooting, right?
57:36
SPEAKER_00: But you know, like the mainstream shit.
57:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
57:39
SPEAKER_00: The takeovers, the whole fucking rioting.
57:42
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
57:43
SPEAKER_00: Ever since I've been here out here, it hasn't happened.
57:45
SPEAKER_00: Okay, the shooting, okay.
57:46
SPEAKER_03: There's a lot of shooting.
57:48
SPEAKER_00: Right?
57:48
unknown: Yeah.
57:49
SPEAKER_00: Fuck.
57:49
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, you know what?
57:51
SPEAKER_00: Hawaii's still good.
57:52
SPEAKER_00: But there's still shit happening in Hawaii.
57:54
SPEAKER_03: Um I feel like it's turning into the mainland at times.
57:57
SPEAKER_00: Well, I've I'm seeing these kids wearing these ski masks.
58:00
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
58:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna lie to you, that shit triggers the fuck out of me.
58:03
SPEAKER_00: Because like I grew up in the hood.
58:04
SPEAKER_00: People didn't we didn't have ski masks like that in the hood.
58:07
SPEAKER_00: We had we had bandanas and the beanies, right?
58:09
SPEAKER_00: But when I see kids like that, I'm like, one, it's too motherfucking hot to wear that shit.
58:14
SPEAKER_00: So I already know you're up to no good.
58:16
SPEAKER_00: Two, oh, you fuck around and find out, but then I fuck around and find out that they're fucking their parents are who they are.
58:24
SPEAKER_00: You feel me?
58:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
58:25
SPEAKER_00: So it's like, damn.
58:27
SPEAKER_00: I try to stay away from that shit.
58:29
SPEAKER_00: Mm-mm.
58:30
SPEAKER_00: Mm-mm.
58:31
SPEAKER_00: Miss Ashley, that was fun.
58:33
SPEAKER_03: It was fun.
58:34
SPEAKER_00: Um thank you for coming on.
58:36
SPEAKER_00: I do I do like I do like I loved this conversation that we just had.
58:41
SPEAKER_00: Um, as a first pod.
58:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh, what'd you think of it?
58:45
SPEAKER_03: It's fun.
58:46
SPEAKER_03: It's fun.
58:46
SPEAKER_03: I'd do it again.
58:48
SPEAKER_00: Word?
58:48
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
58:49
SPEAKER_00: Would you do this pod again?
58:50
SPEAKER_03: I'd do however many times.
58:54
SPEAKER_00: Yes, bitch.
58:56
SPEAKER_00: Fuck it.
58:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, do you have any shouts or anything?
59:00
SPEAKER_00: Or where can these people find you at?
59:03
SPEAKER_03: They can find me at the bar playing darts.
59:06
SPEAKER_03: Leeward Bowl, 850.
59:08
SPEAKER_00: Leeward Bowl, I like their food.
59:11
SPEAKER_03: You do?
59:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
59:12
SPEAKER_03: What do you like from there?
59:14
SPEAKER_03: I like the steak.
59:15
SPEAKER_03: And the mozzarella sticks.
59:17
SPEAKER_00: So I I've gone there only once.
59:19
SPEAKER_00: Do they sell they sell oxtail there too, right?
59:22
SPEAKER_03: I believe they do.
59:23
SPEAKER_00: I've had the oxtail thing.
59:24
SPEAKER_00: I went there with um uh when I used to work over there down uh near uh Pearl Harbor, it was for a luncheon thing.
59:32
SPEAKER_00: I got I ate there, and yeah, and then one of my uh one of my co-workers gave me a dessert cake or something from there.
59:43
SPEAKER_00: Hey, you're right.
59:44
SPEAKER_03: You started talking about cake and I was like, okay, that's okay.
59:47
SPEAKER_03: My bad.
59:48
SPEAKER_00: No disrespect.
59:48
SPEAKER_00: You said leeward bull?
59:49
SPEAKER_03: Leeward bowl.
59:50
SPEAKER_00: Where's that up?
59:51
SPEAKER_03: I don't think what they in front of you.
59:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm a fucking dumb.
59:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, uh, if there's a birthday party and it's there, I'll make sure to look for Miss Ashley.
1:00:04
SPEAKER_03: Playing darts.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_00: Playing darts.
1:00:06
SPEAKER_00: Not getting guys.
1:00:08
SPEAKER_03: Don't bother me unless you want to play darts.
1:00:10
SPEAKER_00: Or give her a cup of water because she ain't going home drunk.
1:00:13
SPEAKER_03: Water, buy me food.
1:00:16
SPEAKER_00: Some some goddamn mozzarella steaks.
1:00:18
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
1:00:18
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
1:00:19
SPEAKER_00: Ah man, um, KO Studios, thank you for the lovely home.
1:00:22
SPEAKER_00: Rafi Bye.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_00: Always, man.
1:00:24
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for the lovely B.
1:00:25
SPEAKER_00: And with that being said, I'm Chris.
1:00:26
SPEAKER_00: Ashley.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_00: And we out this bitch.
1:00:28
SPEAKER_00: Peace.
1:00:31
SPEAKER_00: Good to have you and we are done.
1:00:34
SPEAKER_00: How does that go?
1:00:35
unknown: Fun.
1:00:36
unknown: You went for exactly an hour, didn't we?
1:00:39
unknown: Yes.