Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / The Standard 3/7 #WinItAllWednesday: Everybody Wants the Ring. Who’s Doing the Work? Everyone Loves the Trophy, but Nobody Wants the Invisible hours. Lock in.

Transcript

The Standard 3/7 #WinItAllWednesday: Everybody Wants the Ring. Who’s Doing the Work? Everyone Loves the Trophy, but Nobody Wants the Invisible hours. Lock in. · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about you, but I'm sure glad it's Wednesday.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: And not just any Wednesday.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is Win It All Wednesday here on The Sweet Spot.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you've been listening to a wonderful series we've been doing here in The Sweet Spot called The Standard.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: The Standard, because we all have standards.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: And part of the problem is that we're not living up to our standards, we're not living by our standards, and we're not giving our standards a real chance to dictate how we're gonna be.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're too invested in how we feel, how we think, what's going on around us, all that other stuff.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's why we're doing the standard work this week on the Sweet Spot.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet, I'm your host.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: More than your host, I'm your teammate, your teammate in the game of life.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And we're here to win.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: We're here to win.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet Spotless, guess what?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: This series is called The Standard, and every series title is amazing.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the title for this Wednesday.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody wants the ring.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Who's doing the work?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody loves the trophy, but nobody wants the invisible hours.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Lock in.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, you gotta lock in.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, because Monday we talked about movement and how you gotta move before you're ready.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta move to feel confident.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: You don't feel confident and then move.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: You move and it gives you confidence.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Tuesday, we talked about standards, about how your life eventually starts reflecting what you repeatedly accept from yourself.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'll say it again.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Your life eventually starts to reflect what you are repeatedly accepting from yourself.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And today on Win It All Wednesday, sweet builder, I want to talk to you about something people don't admit out loud very often.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: They don't say this out loud.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people are emotionally attached to winning, but they're attached without being deeply attached to the process that winning requires.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: You see, winning has a process, an underbelly, a requirement, a demand that it puts on us in order to stay as a sustainable winner.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to be always attached to that process.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's tough.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that disconnect quietly frustrates a lot of us.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because we live in a world where everybody sees the highlight reel, the trophy, the contract, the transformation, the success launch, the graduation picture, the weight loss, the applause, the celebration, I don't know, the followers, all that good stuff.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: But very, very, very few people see the invisible hours.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: The gritty hard work, those moments were built on.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we see that person that has all the fame, the fortune, the accolades, the one who delivers the bacon.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: But honestly, that's where it stops.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: We don't see the ordinary hard moments.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Recently I was watching a series called Sprint, I think it was called.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I could be wrong on Netflix.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: It was about a series about runners.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I gotta tell you, I was just impressed by the work that they put in and the amount of hours that's required to be an Olympic runner.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And for 10 seconds or one minute race, you spend four years of training.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Ordinary moments.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know what they're doing?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: They're living by standards to get there.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And a standard is what you continue doing after the excitement fades, before the excitement even comes.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to be in your standard.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: You want to be a fantastic chef, you know what the best chefs do?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: They cook every day, they practice, they know what they're doing.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: You want to be a great dancer?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Great dancers practice.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's the difference between interest and commitment.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: You can be interested in something, and interest, being interested always shows up when it feels good.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Commitment though, commitment is what it really takes.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: You see, interest will show up when it feels good.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Commitment keeps showing up when the process gets repetitive and dull and inconvenient and lonely, and it's raining outside, and it's cold, and things are not going well, and it feels heavy, but I show up every day to do it.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: And some of you listening know exactly what I'm talking about because you do it.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: But then some of us look, we start something with real energy, like a workout routine or a healing journey.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we even had a business idea or we had a spiritual practice we were doing.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then somewhere along the way, the process stopped feeling exciting.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now the workouts feel repetitive, the progress feels slow, the effort is not getting noticed by anyone.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody cares if you're doing it.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly, suddenly your brain starts asking, is this worth it?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Do you really, do we really have to do this?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Is this even working?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that moment right there, when those little sneaky, insidious questions come, that moment right there, that's where standards matter most.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's where you've got to stand on business.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because your standards are not built during emotionally easy moments.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: They're built when the excitement disappears and the behavior continues anyway.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's when you know you have a standard.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: When the excitement disappears, the applause is not there, nobody's looking, and you do it and continue it anyway because you're living by your standard.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something I've learned watching elite performers on all levels: sports, entertainment, it could be in law enforcement, it doesn't matter.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: The people who sustain excellence usually learn how to fall in love with the invisible part of the process, not just the outcome.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's why champions can sound a little boring in their interviews.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: People ask them, hey, well, so what motivates you?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And the champion starts talking about, well, yeah, you know, uh, my recovery, my film, my routine, this is what I repeat, or they give some answer that just doesn't seem like super exciting.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I want drama when the champion talks, don't we all?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: The fans, we we want drama.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: But champions, they talk about habits.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: They know, they know what it takes.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because eventually, you see, they understand something most people resist.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: They understand that the small the small things are the big things repeated consistently.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Let me say it again.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: The small things, they're the big things.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: The small things are the big things repeated consistently.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a deeper lesson.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: You don't suddenly become trustworthy under pressure.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: You practice reliability well before that moment when nobody was looking.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: You don't suddenly become calm in the big moments of pressure.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: You've been training your nervous system repeatedly in the smaller moments that led up to the big moments.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: So this way you look calm then.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't suddenly become disciplined on championship day.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: No, championship day reveals what standards you are already living by.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you can see this clearly in late games, right?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Where one team starts breaking down emotionally in the game, they've missed their rotations, they have bad body language, they're forcing shots, or they're arguing with the reps, they're just distracted.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Or everybody's just trying to play hero ball and rescue the rescue the team individually.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: You've seen it, everybody's seen this.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas the other team, the winning team, just looks really steady, really calm.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're not perfect, they're just steady, and they're executing.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And usually what you're seeing in that moment is not talent alone, you're seeing accumulated habits under pressure.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're watching standards unfold, conditioning standards, trust standards, preparation standards, emotional discipline standards, repeated reps on the stress standards.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why veteran teams or veteran performers often look so calm in the chaos.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Unless you think I'm only talking about athletes, this is for anyone.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is for anyone.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: You could be someone that paints a canvas and you will spend hours perfecting the craft, where somebody else may not have the stamina to get it done.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And your masterpiece is amazing, and people are marveling and pay thousands of dollars for what you painted, but they didn't see all the work.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: You see, standards have to survive hard moments.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's why Kobe Bryant constantly talked about the process.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because, you see, he understood that the process is what makes championships possible.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Those standards, those hard moments, those invisible moments, holding the paintbrush and painting for hours and restarting over and over again.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the Stoics also echoed this, echoed this, right?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: The Stoics, uh Epictetus, one of my favorite stoics, we always quote him here on the sweet spot.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Epictetus said, How long are you gonna wait before you demand the best for yourself?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: I love that line.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself and you know what you need to do?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And the best is not about perfection, it's about how how sustained are you going to be in your alignment?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's sustained alignment between what you say matters and how you actually live.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want to say something matters and then live a different way because you're not in alignment.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: So today, let's make this practical.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: I want to make this very specific.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you keep abandoning the process because the reward hasn't arrived fast enough for you?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you keep abandoning the process because you're not getting the accolades, the applause, the recognition?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's important because we all have a place we kind of cut corners.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of us stop too early and then convince ourselves that the process didn't work.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know many times in my coaching and counseling, I've got to tell people, hey, I think you just stopped prematurely.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta give this more time.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, people stop too early and then they tell themselves, ah man, this isn't working.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Not realizing they left before the compounding interest started.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's like taking your money out of the bank before all the interest starts kicking in.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe you've been training inconsistently because the results feel slow, so you're cutting corners.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're abandoning you're abandoning your healthy habits because stress is just piling up on you.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or you're quitting your routines because your motivation is dipped.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or you're avoiding practice because you don't feel like the progress is, you're not seeing progress, the progress feels invisible.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's human, but it's not acceptable.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's also where your standards are gonna collapse.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: So today, choose one invisible behavior that supports the life you say you want and commit to that behavior.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Repeat it.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Make a decision that you're gonna live by this standard for you today.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: And whether or not you get applause, motivation, whether or not it feels exciting, whether it's raining, it's snowing, whether you're getting bad news, whether you're feeling stressed out, tired, fatigued, you're gonna stick to your standard.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because resistance is gonna come.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Life is unpredictable, and it's gonna throw everything and the kitchen sink at you.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And your brain always only wants an immediate reward.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's normal.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Expect that.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And do what you have to do anyway today, and be a winner.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because winning involves this invisible effort.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Winning involves these habits that you do every single day that stack up and get you that win in the moment.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody wants the ring, everybody wants the trophy, everybody wants the tick-a-take parade, but very few want the invisible hours.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: They want the ring, but they don't want the invisible hours.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: But you see, invisible hours is what shapes the visible life.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually your life will reveal what you practiced repeatedly, not what you hoped for, not what you wished for occasionally, but what you practiced repeatedly, which standards you live by.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: So today let's lock in, sweet spotter.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Don't lock in emotionally, lock in behaviorally.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Protect a routine, protect a standard that will protect your future, and it can happen right now.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, protect the habits that are gonna stabilize your mind and protect the standards that are gonna keep you moving forward.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in you.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: For science, for soul, and for success, you're listening to the sweet spot, and you're a winner today.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you enjoyed this message, please share it with someone who might need it.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't subscribed, go for the win.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Subscribe, it's totally free.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Protect your energy, trust your work, keep building.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll see you tomorrow.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Love and blessings.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is Dr.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet, and you're listening to The Sweet Spot.