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Your Ex Is Silent For A Reason (It's Not What You Think) · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:07
  You've broken up, there is distance and something
• 0:11
  meaningful just happened. Maybe a birthday, a holiday, a
• 0:14
  loss, a big milestone. And your ex stayed silent.
• 0:19
  No message, no acknowledgement, nothing.
• 0:23
  And even though you know you're not together, obviously somehow
• 0:28
  the silence hits harder than you expected it to.
• 0:32
  Not because they owe you anything, but because
• 0:35
  emotionally it feels symbolic. And this is the stage where most
• 0:40
  people misread the silence and end up reacting in a way that
• 0:44
  costs them their leverage. So what does silence really mean
• 0:49
  in these moments? Well, stay tuned and you'll find
• 0:52
  out. Hi, if you're new here, my name
• 0:54
  is Lucia. I'm a dating and relationship
• 0:56
  expert specializing in helping you get your ex back or to get
• 0:59
  over your ex. And if you're not new, it means
• 1:01
  that you're part of my beautiful no contact army.
• 1:04
  So welcome back and I hope you've been a good little
• 1:06
  soldier and stayed in no contact.
• 1:09
  OK, so silence is not automatically a statement about
• 1:13
  your value, even though I know it's hard to not think that.
• 1:18
  Remember, you're broken up, so there's distance.
• 1:22
  Reaching out after something meaningful is not neutral
• 1:25
  anymore. It carries weight because it
• 1:29
  opens doors, it creates implications.
• 1:32
  It signals something. So when someone stays silent,
• 1:37
  it's rarely casual. It usually means something feels
• 1:40
  complicated because indifference is simple, but silence after a
• 1:45
  meaningful moment isn't. When something emotional
• 1:51
  happens, it actually amplifies the tension.
• 1:55
  So if it's a birthday, a loss, a big achievement, a public
• 1:58
  milestone for an ex, reaching out in those moments feels
• 2:02
  symbolic. And symbolism creates pressure
• 2:06
  because now it's not just well, hope you're well.
• 2:09
  It becomes more about, are we reconnecting?
• 2:13
  Did this restart communication? Am I sending the wrong message?
• 2:17
  And when people feel pressure under uncertainty, they usually
• 2:22
  default to the safest move. And of course, the safest move
• 2:25
  is usually silence, not because they don't care, but because
• 2:30
  they don't want to trigger something that they're unsure
• 2:33
  how to handle. And if you're finding it
• 2:36
  difficult to stay silent, to stay in no contact, well, that's
• 2:39
  where I come in with my coaching and I can help you to stay in no
• 2:44
  contact and to get your ex back. And you can contact me at
• 2:49
  theartoflove.net/coaching and we will send you the rates.
• 2:53
  They are not on the website. And the direct link that I just
• 2:56
  mentioned is underneath every single video and podcast.
• 3:01
  OK, so you know, if someone were completely settled and certain
• 3:05
  timing wouldn't matter, they wouldn't debate whether to reach
• 3:08
  out, they wouldn't hesitate, they wouldn't overthink it.
• 3:12
  But silence after a meaningful moment means that there's
• 3:15
  internal conflict. And it's conflict about what
• 3:19
  they feel, what they want, what reaching out would mean.
• 3:22
  And conflict makes people pause. But a pause does not mean that
• 3:28
  it's closure. It means that there is
• 3:30
  processing going on. And that distinction matters.
• 3:36
  After a breakup, there's almost always this unspoken shift in
• 3:40
  position. You know, you talk about people
• 3:42
  thinking, you know, oh, who's going to win the breakup, right?
• 3:45
  Everyone's positioning themselves to win the breakup.
• 3:47
  So someone pulled back, someone stepped away, someone created
• 3:51
  distance. And reaching out after something
• 3:53
  meaningful can feel like movement.
• 3:56
  And people are cautious about movement when the dynamic is
• 3:59
  unclear. Most people do not move first
• 4:03
  unless they feel safe or unless they feel something pulling
• 4:07
  them. So silence here can be about
• 4:10
  position, not indifference, but the silence.
• 4:15
  I know it feels loud, so you're trying to relieve it, especially
• 4:18
  if you're anxious. And you send something reactive,
• 4:22
  you post something pointed, you make it clear you noticed, and
• 4:26
  in doing that you removed the tension.
• 4:29
  So uncertainty disappears, misery disappears, the
• 4:33
  processing gets interrupted. And this is the stage where
• 4:37
  reconnections are either quietly strengthened or quietly
• 4:41
  weakened. And what silence does is create
• 4:46
  contrast. Because they experience the
• 4:49
  event without you, they notice your absence, they feel the
• 4:52
  space, and space forces a comparison.
• 4:56
  And comparison is where someone starts to miss you, but only
• 5:02
  only if you don't rush in to fill the gap.
• 5:07
  Silence isn't just a waiting stage, it's a discipline stage.
• 5:11
  It tests whether you can remain emotionally steady when there's
• 5:15
  no immediate validation. And if you're anxious, it's not
• 5:19
  going to be easy. That's why I have my app,
• 5:23
  Silencio, to help you stay in no contact where you can press the
• 5:27
  panic button if you're about to break it and you'll hear my
• 5:31
  voice telling you don't do it. And the link to that is
• 5:34
  underneath every single video and podcast.
• 5:36
  And I also have my book to help you stay in no contact, which
• 5:40
  you can find at nocontactsecrets.com.
• 5:43
  And again, that link is underneath every single video
• 5:46
  and podcast. So what should you do?
• 5:50
  Well, don't make assumptions. Don't assign meaning prematurely
• 5:54
  because you don't really know what's going on.
• 5:57
  Do not react to relieve your current discomfort.
• 6:02
  Stay composed. Stay focused on your own
• 6:04
  momentum, on your own life, because if you break your
• 6:08
  composure here, you shift the dynamic.
• 6:11
  But if you stay steady, you preserve the dynamic, and
• 6:16
  preservation of the dynamic is what is going to keep your
• 6:19
  options open. OK, so silence after something
• 6:23
  meaningful. I know it feels heavier than
• 6:25
  ordinary silence, but it's not automatically rejection.
• 6:29
  If you don't hear from your ex, it's not automatically closure
• 6:33
  and it is not automatically a statement about you.
• 6:35
  But your ego wants to make it all about you, right?
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  Sometimes it's uncertainty, sometimes it's pride, sometimes
• 6:42
  it's hesitation, sometimes it's processing.
• 6:45
  And your power in this phase is to not force clarity, it's to
• 6:51
  stay stable. OK, so now I want to hear from
• 6:55
  you. How long have you been in No
• 6:57
  Contact and how is it going? And be sure to subscribe so you
• 7:02
  don't miss out on any future videos.
• 7:05
  And press the bell notification so you'll know when the next
• 7:08
  video is up. Because I no longer do
• 7:10
  premieres, I just kind of drop the videos when I feel like it.
• 7:13
  And if you're listening as a podcast, also be sure to
• 7:16
  subscribe so you don't miss future episodes.
• 7:18
  And remember, love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
• 7:22
  enlightens.