Latest / The Midlife Rebel Podcast / Midlife Money, Meaning, And Magic - Kanika Vasudeva

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Midlife Money, Meaning, And Magic - Kanika Vasudeva · The Midlife Rebel Podcast

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Midlife Rebel Podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's time to rewrite the midlife story for women who refuse to be put in a box.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because maybe midlife isn't a crisis.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's an awakening.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: When I asked our listeners what the biggest concerns were as they navigate midlife, one of the top answers was financial stability.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's quite a common theme.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Midlife often brings career shifts when we start craving more meaning and purpose in the work we do.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: And at the same time, the horizon of our working years begins to feel closer, and many of us start wondering whether we'll be able to live with ease and security in the years ahead.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Today's guest, Kanika Vasudeva, is an energy expansion coach and a Kashik records reader.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: And she helps women expand rather than contract in midlife to heal by becoming more visible and to open energetically to greater wealth, abundance, and possibility.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for joining me.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really looking forward to this conversation.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't asked too many questions in our little preamble.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I've as I mentioned to you, I think it's a nice uh nice way to sort of enter into this conversation and not really knowing exactly the direction that we're that it's going to take us, but sort of going going by how we feel.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: I love that, and thanks for having me on the show, Neline.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Ask away.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'll do my best to help.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: So where's where do you think we should start?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um you've got your own story.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe we should start there.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna we'll we'll kind of get into the nuts and bolts of midlife expansion, reclaiming our power, and how you help women do that.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: But you've got your own story, and I think that's a really always a really good place to start because it kind of gives us a yeah, an idea of where you're coming from and what led you um into this role.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so in my mid-30s, if I paint the picture, I was doing well per se.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you saw me on Facebook or on LinkedIn, life was going well.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was an MBA, an engineer professional.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was I had worked for various um Fortune 500 companies leading their really big projects.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I traveled around the world, the holidays we would have were exotic, really good.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Life looked really, really good on the outside on social media.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I think even I myself was wondering why I felt so empty inside, because on paper things were okay.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: The reality was the marriage wasn't working for me.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I had a two-year-old son and I was pregnant with my daughter, but it was all seeming real hard.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that time I had my business that I was starting on the side while I had my son, and that was really hard.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to literally wake up crying because I would feel, gosh, if this is what I have to do for the rest of my life, like I don't like it.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I just do not like it at all.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I uh went to a doctor and really told anyone what I was going through because I didn't even know.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I would ask my friends, and it sort of seemed as if mid-30s is the way, you know, as you grow older, your happiness has to go down.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's an accepted, unspoken norm that, yeah, it kind of gets boring, you're not excited with life.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: But it was just getting really hard for me.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Marriage wasn't enjoyable, it was loveless, and I was just really struggling in every area of my life.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then uh one day I woke up, I was pregnant with my daughter, but there was just no movement that I felt.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I found out that I had lost her, so I had to give birth to a stillborn.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh wow, and it was a very, very hard experience.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: But I would also say a very graceful thing, and I say that because I was such a stubborn person, you know, life was trying to show me the signs, and I was so adamant and so resistant.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was so much sometimes in denial, I would sometimes just get busy with other things and I would run away.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: I would really not face my sadness.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: That life just had to do something and really make me see that come on, like just have a look at your life, like you're really not doing it well, you know, as much as pretending and everything you're doing.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's really not going okay.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I needed that.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I didn't know it then.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: So at that moment, I was just feeling super guilty.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was feeling guilty that I had lost my daughter when I was sleeping.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: I was feeling guilty that I had not said, I love you as much when she was with me.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I really wanted to connect with her because I wanted to have that closure.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I just really like a mom's heart, just really wanted to connect with my daughter.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's how my whole journey changed.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: I started looking into energy healing, then got into Akashic Records later on because I really wanted to connect with her myself.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: I did try going to other people and doing it that way, but it never felt real enough for me.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt if I'm the mom, I want to do this, I want to reach out to her.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so literally, that's how my life started changing up.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I call it the moment of grace, because it shifted from that place where I was helpless and I was the victim to the person who now wanted to take charge and do something.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then I connected with my daughter, and I remember my first words to her were, Um, I'm so sorry.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so sorry I lost you.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so sorry I couldn't carry you.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And she said that it was never the plan for her to be born ever.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: So there was no guilt that I needed to carry.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was actually all perfect.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And get this.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: I had an agreement with her before I had incarnated, so well before everything.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I had said that if I was wasting my life again, that she would come and she would help me wake up.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: So she had tried in all her, like all the ways that she could, and I wasn't listening.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: So she just got like, okay, now I have to do something so that she really wakes up because this is not, she's not listening, she's so stubborn.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm so blessed that she did that, and life before that, after that changed.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um that time, of course, I wasn't still fully aware of what was happening, even as I started moving onwards, upwards, with just getting that closure.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but that time it was more um, well, how do I live on?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: I honestly actually even thought that time because the grief was so big for me, um, I wanted to check out of life.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the only person I couldn't do that to was my two-year-old son.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so I decided to live on, and then I was asking her and I was asking the universe to help me to live on and give me ways so that I could be happy and I could be good for them because there was no use living and just being a crying mess the whole time.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So that's when I poured into all of these tools, and I started getting a lot of healing myself because I truly wanted to be in my essence.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, in that sense, I'm so thankful that this whole experience happened to me because I had my daughter teaching me about the importance of life, and then my little son at two years old showing me what it was like to live life.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we come into life, we are just so it's we're so open, we accept and we become happy so easily.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas as adults, we lose that.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we find more ways to become unhappy.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody crosses our lane in the traffic, we're like, gosh, look at that.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm so blessed and grateful that that happened.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And later on, I never knew, but now my purpose is to help more people find that joy back in their life, find that impact, that meaning in their life, and prosper through it.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: It does not mean struggling financially, it means being abundant in relationships, it means being abundant to do the things that you want to do, to purchase, to buy, to really live life that fully feels expansive.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for sharing that story.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: I have two young-ish children, 11 and 9, and I can't even begin to imagine how it would feel to lose a child.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: So the fact that you can talk about it so so um so openly.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: This has obviously been quite a process for you though.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how long ago did this happen?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this was in 2018, and it was a process.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I think it was all divinely planned.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, even if I think of that time, it was very hard, but it was really divinely planned and held.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like I remember even during that time, for example, I'll give you little examples to show you how I felt really held.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to think before that that, oh, I am alone because I was struggling in my marriage and you know, all the other things.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: And people who were close to me, I was still trying to make sense of what I was doing, how I was feeling.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I wasn't always fully sharing.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: And my family lives away from us as well and in a different country.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I wasn't like sharing something that I didn't quite know what to process and what to do with it.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: So as a result, I felt truly alone inside, as if I had no friends to really talk to and tell what I was going through.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I remember when we went to the doctor, and the doctor said, Well, you know, you've lost the daughter, and the next thing that happens that you don't think through at the time is that you have to give birth because she was 31 weeks.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and of course, we hadn't planned that.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: I had a young son, um, and I just wrote to the daycare asking that, hey, can you help us?
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, can you give him a spot?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not just the generosity of their heart, it also has to work out numbers-wise, right?
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: That they're able to care for another baby.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: And they said, that's okay.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And they kept him the whole week.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Then there was a nanny from the daycare that I just had used one day previously, but um, when I went to give birth to my daughter, it just took a very long time because physically I was resisting the whole experience.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: They had to induce me thrice because every time I in like the contraction would start and they would stop because my body, I wasn't ready to let go.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: They finally had to give me morphine so that I would go to sleep and let my baby out.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that process took really long.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: I went in the morning at nine, and I think I only delivered her around 4 a.m.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: the next day.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so the nanny had to end up staying with us at our at our house while I was here.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: But it was so lucky that again she could do it.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: It was such a longer day than we had planned.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but just the generosity that she could do it, she could stay like that.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And my son did not have somebody else that he did not know looking after him.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many examples that I can give you of that time where I feel that the universe helped me because literally the help poured out of places where I would have just not imagined.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we were literally held through the whole process.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, as hard as everything was, there was a weird sense going around that okay, I'm held through it.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: I was held through it.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that time I wanted to shift, and I remember I wanted to learn about meditation.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I went into a library trying to find out because the engineer that I am, you know, like why do you meditate?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not able to quite in my mind, and how does that work?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it was very logical then.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I was trying to find a book on meditation so that I would get the process to meditate.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I totally empathize when my clients come to me now and they say, Look, I have all these questions and I can't get it.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: I've done that.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I totally resonate with that as well.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember trying to go into the library and doing that with my two-year-old son at the time.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm trying to also find books that resonate with me.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: And he was not interested with me being in the library and looking at books.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I just remember telling myself that, oh, I wish I had some time on hand where it was quiet and I could go to the library and I could just browse through the books that I wanted to have just so that I could take my next step and not have a baby to take care of at that time.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it so happened that I had to get my driver's license renewed.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I needed to get a photograph clicked.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't go to my normal place, I went to another place.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so while you wait in line to get the ticket where they'll take your photograph, that had an adjacent library to it.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Can you beat the odds?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: It was just so unreal.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And there's again, I think I'll just keep on saying other examples like that.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: But the the universe was so kind.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: It was for me, it was hard to ignore that I was not held through that whole process.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: I really was like with every stranger and thanks to everybody who crossed me at that point in time because I needed that love, but they were all there with so much love, with so much grace for me.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was, although it was such a hard experience, it was I could not deny that I was so totally looked after at that time.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Is this um you when you talk about this?
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Is it when these things were happening and and people people were kind of appearing to help you through the process, were you aware at that point that those things were happening?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Were those synchronicities sort of popping up in your mind?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it in hindsight now that you kind of go, Oh, I can see how that story was unfolding for me right before my eyes?
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: No, it was happening then because even when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was trying to dabble into things.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, because life is really bad.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I was listening to a lot of YouTube videos, like I was listening to Wayne Dar a lot at the time, and I was listening to Abraham Hicks, God bless her.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh everybody who helped me at that time.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember listening to Abraham Hicks a lot, and um, even throughout the whole time when um I was in the hospital giving birth to my daughter, and after that, because I was trying to make sense of the whole experience of death, and she just had lots of things there that she could say, which brought peace at the time.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I was beginning to open myself to the idea that all of this is happening, and I couldn't fully understand it, but I was comprehending it.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why when I started talking to the universe, because I had no idea of energy healing or being able to talk to someone.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't come from a background like that.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: My family doesn't do anything like that.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know any spiritual healer as such, but I remember very specifically asking the universe then that you've given me this.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've lost a child, I'm supposed to live on.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: But now you've really got to help me because I have to find a way to connect with my daughter to be able to move on.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just need this as a closure, as this, I need to have this conversation.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't me getting angry, it wasn't me pleading, it was none of that.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: It was literally a mom, you know, like how a mom would say, Well, this is what needs to happen to my child.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was a mom talking to the universe and saying, Well, this is what needs to happen.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: I really need to have this conversation with my child.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds crazy.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how is this going to happen?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: But it was very clear that this is what needs to happen for me to be able to live on, and you need to help me with this.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was very clear with that desire.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so somehow those teachers and everything just started unfolding automatically.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so thankful for that.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: When you spoke to your daughter, can you uh describe that when that happened, what the circumstances were?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: Were you in meditation?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, was it all of a sudden?
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: What yeah, um, so because my ask was very specific that I really wanted to talk to her.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: So when I was looking at teachers, I was really looking for someone who could help me do that.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I had reached out to intuitives and mediums, uh, but it never felt mine, you know.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not judging their capability here at all, but it's just that, well, I'm the mom.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to talk to my daughter, I wanted to connect with her, I wanted to see her, hear her.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't hold her that way, but I wanted to feel that connection with her.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I just needed that.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so that was my very specific ask.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I there were a couple of teachers that I reached out to around meditation or energy healing, whatever they were doing, because I was open to anything and everything, anyone who would be able to help me.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: And there was only one teacher who asked me, Well, what is your goal?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want to do?
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, This is my goal.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, I can teach you that.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Okay, I'm in.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what I wanted.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then we had a few sessions, and then I said, Well, what about my daughter?
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: When can we do this together?
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Look, I've already taught you the tools, so now it is for you.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Use it in practice, and I think it's your own personal private conversation.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: You do it.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: If for some reason you're not able to do it, I will do it with you.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I think you're capable enough to do it yourself.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that was really the right advice.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: I needed him to push me that way, and also to give me that space to just have that conversation that I wanted.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I sat down, and this was like the usual meditation tools that he was teaching me, and I was doing that's what I teach my clients as well now around grounding, connecting with the sun, like really, really simple tools.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: But um, and normally they work really well, like they work in all times.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: But this was just a charged um area for me, obviously.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: It just took me a lot longer and all.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: All it was requiring of me was to be still.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I would I would ground myself, I would be in my center, I would calm myself, and then some emotions would come up around how I had lost her, what had happened around the time.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I just needed to, you know, get calmer again, calmer again.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it took longer that way.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I connected with her.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I had a very specific intention there as well when I was connecting with her.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I'd heard all of these stories, or and I made this very clear that I don't want to have this that, oh, you know, like there's a breeze of air, and then I'm guessing, is it her?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Is it something else?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't want anything like that.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to be very specific that I know that this is her, and there's like no mistake in my mind that this is her.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like looking back, I think, how could I how could I be so specific?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, talk about negotiating.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: I had like no room there to go, well, this is what I want, but my wants were very specific.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: I had no room to believe them, but yeah, they were very, very specific.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I had said that this is what I wanted.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then when she came through, um, there was a taste that I felt in my mouth.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I never held her, we'd never really touched, had a physical living experience as such.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: But there was one tea that I would drink when I was pregnant with her.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: That was a herbal tea.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: It had licorice powder that came from India.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I would just have that tea a lot of time.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: And licorice is not something that I usually eat or I keep in my pantry or so on, it's a very different taste.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: And when she came in, it's the licorice taste.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: And even now, the times when she comes in, I'll just suddenly feel licorice and I'm like, gosh, okay, that's her.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's no mistake.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is her.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, that's amazing.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: And when she spoke to you, was it inside?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Did you like what what is that experience like when you connect with a soul, a spirit?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so for me, and what the teacher was teaching me then was clairvoyance.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and what I've honed since then, like I've gone to other schools um and really practiced.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I am a trained clairvoyant teacher.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I say that trained because a lot of people believe you're born with it and you can't have it.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: I used to feel the same, but you really can hone that skill.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's a skill that all of us have and we get vision.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I just close my eyes.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: And um I would see what I see the way visions for anybody else, there's like pictures coming through.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: It may or may not be literally like how you and I are seeing each other.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: It might not be that sometimes it's just a hand that starts coming, and then you pick up the whole image.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: If I go back to her, um, that time I was a lot more charged.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't as much seeing her, but I remember seeing the visual of a rose and then talking through that rose and some of her face showing through it.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but usually it's like that.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like for me, I'll see a vision.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: The more I can focus on the vision, clear my thoughts around it, and just focus on the vision, not go with well, with this is real or not, but just look at the vision, the more messages it gets.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um in fact, like if I um, you know, that time that was a very different time and a different experience.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: But if I generally talk about clairwines and the visions that I get, when I tune into them, um so now I don't have the area where I'm questioning myself.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually totally free and like whatever comes through, comes through because that is for the highest good.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll just see that I'm fully with it.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: And the more I go in, I can actually even feel like the emotions, what they would have felt, like not just the facts around a scenario, but I can see what they're feeling.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: Why did it happen that way?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because usually, because of those situations like that, we then create something or we hold something in our body that creates the memory or the pattern that we have repeating in our life.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: So it's very helpful to understand what the body is going through, the emotions, the patterns around it, why has it felt something that way, and why is it then blocking or allowing something?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: So you've mentioned that you still connect with your daughter.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I was um I'm just kind of uh curious about how that relationship has evolved.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: Is she your teacher?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: Does she guide you to make decisions?
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you I think you mentioned right at the beginning of your sharing your story that when um when you first connected with her, she sort of told it was the it was the classical wake-up call that you needed.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so she is my teacher.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: She's my uh she's my oracle teacher from one of the previous lifetimes.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: So she was the oracle teacher, and I was I'd come in there to be the next oracle after her.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: I was watching her, I was learning her, and then I did not um grow up enough to fully see her skills and you know get all of her knowledge.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: So there's part of that that she's imparting, and I still feel like she guides me a lot of times when I'm confused, when I'm checking in by with my business.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like this business is totally now.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: I understand that it was my soul's calling.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I chose before I came in.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: But the Kanika and the body never had this idea.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: I never knew, you know.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I think now I'm good getting more on pl on board with her that this is what she wants, but still I know that there is an oversight that they have, and I get shown the little stares that you do this and you do this.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not that they don't want to show me the whole vision, it's just that when I see the whole vision, I freak out.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: So they give me the little bits.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's pretty cool.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's a a devastating experience to have gone through.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: But um no, I understand what you're saying.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally do, totally do, and that's how I think of it as well.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I wouldn't wish it on anybody, but also at the same time, gosh, has my life changed from then and now?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like even then, let's say, you know, theoretically, if I just continued living my life, it was such a sad life.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I might have lived it for my husband, I might have lived it for my son.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: But really, that Kanika wasn't doing herself a favor or anybody else around her a favor, um, because it was such a limited life.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: I feel that when we are our expansive selves, even if that means that you have to shift the world around you, there's like a little tornado that goes first, where you, you know, the midlife crisis or whatever you call it, um that has to happen, that shifting, that churning has to happen, but then eventually it all falls into place, and there's more beauty, harmony, love, expansion that comes out of it.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: That is a better service to the whole world.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: When you um uh mentioned that your daughter was previously a teacher, how did you discover this?
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: Is this through the Akashic Records?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: Can you explain?
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: I have spoken to some other guests, but I've uh w who use the Akashic Records, but I would love to hear uh your description of them and just uh and because I like I'm I'm like you, you know, finding the meditation book.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: I like to kind of try and understand, and then maybe part of my journey with the podcast is is like letting go of some of those things.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: No, and I completely understand it, you know, for a long time.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I had two my journey in two parts.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: The first part was obviously this really analytical person because I was managing projects for or multi-million dollar projects, right?
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: It was all really black and white, nothing could fail, you know.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: You had one day extra or somebody missing, then it really had some massive financial impact.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: So there was that really logical part.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then I almost did a whole 180 and went into this Vu-Vu land.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I did that for a long time for my own healing.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then I continued doing it because the more I did it, the more I could shape the world around me.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it was still like a playground.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: But for example, I could um, you know, find the house, a beautiful place where I would stay with my son.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: I could build a nice co-parenting relationship with his dad so that our son would have a nice growing up experience.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we are actually good friends now.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I could have promotions, I could really bring in the stuff that I so that's what I kept doing.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: So there was this um logical part, and then there's this wuvu part.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: The coaching part for a time, I was just doing the wuvu part because I thought this is what everybody needed.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then the clients, as they started coming in, I realized, oh, okay, this is what I've been prepped for because I bring that energetic mindset where I can help them heal, recover from their patterns, but then I can also give them really practical, aligned steps so that they can take that next step.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it speaks to both sides.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I get it.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, um, talking about the Akashic records.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do this.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: Think of an apple um, red apple, green apple, you pick your apple, that's fine.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine chopping it into like a thousand pieces.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll pick one slice out.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that would be paper thin, right?
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's so many slices, right?
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, now the whole apple is your soul.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: And this little apple slice is your current life right now.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: So when I think of Kanika, when I think of like just my life here, and I would say, oh, why did my partner do this?
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: Why was the toilet seat up?
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or why did my child do this?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: Why did my car, you know, or how did I get that windfall of money or anything like that?
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: All of that is just Kaneka operating from this body experience.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not tapping into the whole apple, I'm just seeing, hey, what is this?
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little bit like if you're stuck in a traffic jam and you were just stuck, everything's not moving around you, but you're stuck and you have no idea like what happened, whether there was a crash, whether um there was a tree that fell on the on the road.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: You have no idea.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: You're just stuck.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: But if let's say you could fly up in the helicopter and you're up there, and then you can suddenly see, and you can see how big the traffic jam is, then you can see what caused it.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can also see what is the shortest way for you to get out of it.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's a much more clear picture.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: So suddenly, if let's say you're analyzing why you're having some repeated pattern with your partner, and you're thinking, okay, I've had this with my partner, and maybe in your life you're able to analyze, well, I have this sort of argument with this partner.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I had something similar with the previous partner, but that's all that you can go to because that's all the visibility is, right?
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: But if you can fly up and then you can see the whole apple, you can see all the other slices, you can see all the other dances, you can see, oh, okay, in this slice, in this lifetime, I had something where I said that I really want to love about unconditional love.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I said that, well, I want to first experience love fully, but then I also want to experience some place where they are either cheating or doing something else because I really wanted to study that.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: So that gives you a much bigger picture.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what the Kashik Records do.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: They give you the whole story of the apple, all the characters in your life.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then the beauty is that when you can see those other slices, you can heal them and it heals the whole apple, not just the slice.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: And because it's healing the whole apple, it heals all of you.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: So all of those slides it's one person per apple.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: One apple per person.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't sure whether, like with the Akashic Records, I had this sense that it was like um where all possibilities exist.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you could say that that's like all the other slices, whether that's all slices existing in the same time, that's possible.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: Then you could also have that you were there, this is your apple, and let's say you wanted to study your kids, you wanted to study your partner, parents, but you're connected to their apples as well, and you can see what's your dynamic going on with them.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: So it's really beautiful, interesting, nerdy.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: Can you talk?
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: Can you describe how um a reading of the Akashic Records works, like in that practical, you know, sense when you're with a client or someone's with you and they're they're working with you?
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I'm the channel and things just come through as they come through.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so when I'll see them, I usually don't need information from them.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just ask them, hey, is it okay for me to tune into your Akashic records?
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's almost so I follow this ethical boundary.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's like if I came into your house, first of all, I'd say, I'd ask you, hey, can I come in?
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, then let's say you've invited me in, then I come in, but I don't go and I don't open your um, let's say I don't go into your shower and start taking a shower or open your cupboards and stuff.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: So first, but it's just that that I go in where you invite me, I will go in with the intention that, okay, this is your highest healing and expansion.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I'll go to areas and I might see some things where um, you know, the other person, it's never really happened.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: But if they feel like this is what they don't want to share, then I can tell them and I can tell them that look, I can see I'm right here and you don't want me to open this door.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want me to open it and go and check in because I feel this is what lies behind it.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you want me to, I'll go and look in.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then I to them, whatever they say, we work through that.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: But usually I haven't had anyone who's said no, because if even that happens, that means that the spirit is ready.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: In terms of how the reading actually works, is I'll just close my eyes.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like this um weird person.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: They're sitting with their eyes open and they have their uh like they're just looking at me, and I just have my eyes closed and I'm just reading the things.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: Occasionally I do open my eyes and I do ask them, hey, is that resonating?
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: And how are you feeling?
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: But um I'm working on whatever their soul shows me.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm working through their past lives, I'm working through their ancestors, whoever is coming through, and I'll also work with their inner child.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of times, whatever we we are carrying that is held in our body somewhere.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, especially when we are releasing something, I'll tell them, hey, where do you feel something in your body, or do you feel it in your lower back?
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel it?
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you feel it?
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: And often there'll be a resonance there, and then we'll clear that, and then I'll work on clearing it so that they can have the expansion, then we'll move on to the next bit.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: But it's always intriguing to me.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we'll do past life reading, sometimes we'll do all, sometimes we'll have a lot of ancestral healing happening, typically around money.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: It does involve ancestral healing because we have lots of things.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: For example, money is so hard to earn.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: That comes in deeply imprinted from our ancestors.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's interesting.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: It can be very, very weighted in every reading.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I do have a part of my own podcast where I have some readings um that are shared online if people are curious.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's that's great.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'd be I'd definitely be curious to to uh yeah hear hear that happening.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um okay, so it sounds like it's a bit of a dual process where uh firstly you're kind of tapping into what's going on, and then you're uh healing it.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, and I'm healing it with them in the body, which I find is the fastest way because when they do it and when they breathe through it, then they're really able to let go.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: The different things, like I'll give you an example.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there was a lady who came to me because she was wanting to write a book for about seven years.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_00: She carried it in her head and she's like, Kanak, I really need to do this, but I just cannot do it.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: Every time she would do it, you know, some way or the other, she would either end up overeating or something, and she would just fall sick.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, I'm physically sick, I'm just not capable enough to be able to write my book, and I know I need to do it, which kind of doesn't make sense, right?
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we did a session together, and I remember doing this session with her where as we looked into her and he we were healing her, there was this inner child part of her that wanted to um that just had a lot of stuff that it was carrying.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: And when we healed her, I'm like, well, she just has a whole lot of old stuff on her, like old ornaments, you know, very heavy ornaments, jewelry that is ornamental, but it's really just heavy, that it holds you, it's very tight around the neck and so on.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: So there was a lot of stuff from the ancestors that was coming out, and we just started healing that lady, started taking her things out.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, first we did that, that was a whole part of ancestral healing.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: Then, as we continued, there were things that we started moving from her insides, like there was just old food that we had to let go of, and we started taking that out.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, that lady was healed, so we integrated that energy.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then after that, she's like, Kanika, you know, that session was amazing because guess what?
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: I've cleared my desk, and she's now that I'm writing it, she's actually submitted her last draft.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_00: She is now designing the book cover, so it's all out because we heal that part of her that was causing her to eat, and that was uh bringing on that sickness.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: And apart from that, what we did not expect, she's like um, she she's like, Well, I don't now overeat the way I used to.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I'll see the food, and if I'm hungry, I'll eat it.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm not hungry, you know, I'll just go like she even skips dinner sometimes because if she's full, she doesn't need to eat it.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas earlier, she was just such a compulsive eater, and then she would feel terrible afterwards that she'd not been able to look after herself and those that guilt that creeps in.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas now it was just all.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_00: Clear.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: So it works in such amazing ways.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what's going to pour through, but it's always fantastic.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: One session.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: That was one session.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: One session.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: I would always say that it really depends on the person as well, how much they're willing to receive.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: But I have had really phenomenal results in one session.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: It depends on where the clients are.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm kind of curious, like when you have someone who has a session, well, we hear stories about um sort of traditional psychology sessions, for example.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: And a person comes out of the session and they feel motivated and they feel like they've cleared a whole bunch of their emotional stuff.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's talk therapy.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just using it as an example.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, they're the next day, they're feeling really uplifted, and and gradually over the month, that you know, before they go back for their next appointment, they start all of the old thoughts, all of the old processes start to come in.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_01: Does that ever happen?
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and that's a beautiful question.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because, and this is what I explain to someone before someone comes into my field.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'll tell them that, you know, we all have layers of stuff.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_00: So think of like a big fat onion, right?
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, what the Akashic healing can do is it can take off that old layer, and so maybe it'll peel off two, three layers, multiple layers if you're ready for it, it'll do that.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then you'll feel fantastic for a while.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you're coming to me with insomnia or like other confused thoughts and so on, it'll help you do that, it'll help you get out of that.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: But then after that, to maintain it, you've got to do some work.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: Just the way we brush our teeth every day, we clean our house every day.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you can't go back to the old routine and go, like, well, you know, now I haven't been healed.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, come on, you were given a chance to upgrade yourself, like literally upgrade your mental thoughts.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now do that.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_00: So tie yourself into the next vision.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_00: But this is why I've also started offering, um, like I don't I started with doing just single one-off akashic reading sessions, and I found that the most transformation that clients have with me is not with just a one-off session, but I provide a mentorship to them.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_00: So in the mentorship, I have an energetic container with them where they can reach out to me.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_00: Then there are other meditations and activations that they have access to so that they can really maintain that space around them.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_00: They can start doing the teeth cleaning themselves.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, they can look after their own energy.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: They are in a nice supported space.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_00: If they have anything that's coming up, they can talk about it.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I can bring in the intuitive insights and clearing for them to help them get to the next level.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's much better, like the Akashic healing by itself.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_00: One session is a little bit like patchwork or maybe like spring cleaning, you know.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but then you still do need to continue cleaning.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like your house will not good look good if you spring cleaned in October and then it's December afterwards.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk um a bit about that, the the people that you the women that you work with, reclaiming power, pleasure, and purpose.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I'd also love to hear a bit about, or a lot, if you like, um the money blocks.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that ancestral, you know, those ancestral stories and that that's the that stuff that we carry with us.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's like what's going on there?
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_01: And does it come up in midlife?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a midlife thing?
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think everything.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, more so, like, especially with the midlife changes that we are making, it comes up more so.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_00: But if you think of it right, like money in a way, it's such a taboo subject.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we don't really go out and ask, hey, how much money are you making?
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's a totally wrong question to ask.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: But then on the other hand, you need money for everything in life, you need most things, yeah.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, whatever you need to survive on, whatever you need to buy, like they're not going to give it for your energy, for your smiles.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so there is money for the holiday that you want to go to, there is money for the dress that you want to buy for yourself, there is money for even the smallest and the biggest of things.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to explain that.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: And yet we don't talk about it.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the twofolds to this, first of all, when we grow up, as we're growing up, especially women, we are all taught that you be the good girl and you sort of compromise in some way, you do what the other wants, so you please the other person, and that is you being a good person, right?
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so somewhere, especially as we make our changes around midlife and we become us, we're unpeeling that and we're getting off that people-pleasing personality.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a deeper thing below that money is association to your own self-worth.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not what others think of you, it is like how much do I feel I deserve?
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: So when we've always done it for the other, and I'll give you a story here.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_00: I remember I had just separated from my ex, and um there was a friend of mine.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_00: We went out for lunch, and he's asking me, Hey, what would you like to have for lunch?
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_00: Simple question, I could not answer it.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because because, and it's not even that my you know, ex was telling me, hey, you've got to eat what I tell you to.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, he wasn't doing that, but he always always ordered for you either that, or I was always thinking, you know, what would my son like?
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_00: What would someone else like?
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_00: It was always that.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I was so people pleasing without even knowing that, without even anyone asking me to, that I was just so used to it.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: So when he said, and when I did not have my child there or my ex there, and I'm thinking, what do I love?
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_00: What do I like?
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's still funny to me this day that I had to think about it.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_00: But that's how much people pleasing I had done.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I give this example because when we talk about money, and especially, you know, when we say, Oh, how much am I worth now?
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: What can I spend on myself?
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, think about it when someone gives you a compliment.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_00: Can you take the compliment?
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_00: Can you receive?
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_00: When you go to the grocery store, and let's say you wanted the nicer version of food, can you buy that?
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, maybe just two, three dollars extra, but can you give that to yourself?
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, money is that, money is self-worth.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_00: And we might see, hey, how much is money coming to me?
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm also going to encourage you to flip the question and ask, how much are you wanting money?
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_00: How much are you saying that, oh, I am worth this and I need to get this?
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, money is very beautiful.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_00: The minute you start activating your own inner worth, that's when money starts really flowing in.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a beautiful um relationship to work through because it underlies literally every other relationship in your life.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_01: What role does trust play in this process?
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, so much, so much, so much.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, my clients will come to me and they'll say, Oh, you know, money's not working out, or there's something happening with my job.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll go, okay, how are your relationships going?
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe not directly, but or not right at the time.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I'll ask them, okay, how are your relationships going?
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: How's your relationship with your mom, with your dad?
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: How are you normally trusting?
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because that is also the frequency of money.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: Money wants you to play, have a good time.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_00: How much can you be in love with yourself?
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: And how much can you be in love with the world?
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times we're all protecting ourselves.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're going, well, I have been hurt, I don't want to be hurt again, right?
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_00: And when you have that resisting energy that I don't want to be hurt again, then think of it this way: money wants to come to you, and money is going, well, you're not really opening the door for me.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: How do I come in?
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you cannot receive compliments, if you cannot receive gifts without feeling guilty, that's a starting point.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you cannot receive that, how is money supposed to come into your life?
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you were selling something as a coach or as a marketer, as a business manager, whatever you were doing, right?
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you are negotiating your salary, and if you freeze around, well, this is the price that I should have, how is the other person going to value it?
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's your own self-worth, isn't it?
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's your own relationship.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's interesting that you talk about trust.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_00: There are a couple of layers of trust, three layers of trust actually.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_00: First layer of trust is do you trust yourself?
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do you trust yourself that you're good enough, that you're worth that?
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: Do you trust yourself that you'll carry through with your idea?
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_00: Do you trust yourself that you will look after the other person, whatever's coming into you?
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's so many questions around trust, but do you trust yourself fully?
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_00: The next relationship with trust, and all of this ties to money.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_00: The next relationship is do you trust others?
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_00: Big one, huge one.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: Huge.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you trust your friends?
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_00: Do you trust people?
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_00: Do you trust to and often a lot of times the answers I'll get is well, I trust myself to do good for others, but I don't trust that they'll do good to me.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you have that, then again, think of money coming in or think of your clients coming in.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is that energy that is speaking, right?
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_00: Till you have not worked on that level of trust.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's you are repelling it at some point because you're going, well, I'm not really trusting people.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_00: So the clients, you're actually repelling them.
• 50:57
  unknown: Yeah.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're not able to love them and welcome them fully.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the relationship with trust, like healing your relationship around trusting others and really opening up your doors.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there are exercises there around you know, feeling protected while you're opening the door so that you don't feel like, oh, I'll be hurt again.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's a trust with the universe.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel the universe has got your back?
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_00: Is life working for you, or are you a victim in life?
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_00: And all of these aspects with trust, they outline your relationship with money.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm just fascinated by the whole money thing, just because I've uh become very aware with kids, a perfect example of you go to the shop and they want all of the things.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that can we have this?
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_01: And no, and you know, groceries are getting expensive, let's face it.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_01: And trying not to say we can't afford it because we actually can afford it, yeah, but we don't want to buy it.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_01: But it's just like if you say that, then you're delivering the message of scarcity, and the children are going to go into that whole conditioning process as well.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I try and say, yes, sometimes.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we can have it, yes, we can have it.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but also like if your son's like mine, my son will go one day, he'll get, oh mommy, I want a 3D pen because he's like a nerd at some sense.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and then he'll look at something else like, Mom, I want this pet.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_00: And now, mommy, I'm thinking I want this new thing, and they all cost you know, whatever little or more.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, you're also changing your mind the whole time.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: I could give you all of those, you'd be happy, but you just want more.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_00: But it is it is a fascinating thing how open they are, how desiring they are, and even sometimes an interplay for us to see well, how much can we even allow ourselves to play with those thoughts?
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can I even allow myself that, oh, I can have that and I can have that, just the way they can ask it, they can go, I want this, I want this, I want this.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a it's a it's just run so deep through so many of the stories and so much of the um yeah, the stories that we were told as children.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_00: And as you've mentioned, like that ancestral um store, those ancestral stories as well, when it comes to yeah, a lot of times like when I'm healing my clients and doing this work, there'll be ancestors, there'll be like circles of ancestors, which is like four, five, six, seven generations, even who'll come up and they want to be healed of the stuff that they've been held.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you we in our safe lives these days, or at least because we are not seeing war as such, we tend to forget how hard it might have been for us or our previous ancestors.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe our parents did not have such a hard life where they were also in wars.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_00: But we've had World War Ones, World War IIs.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I feel that all of us, if we went back just two or three generations, we have all been in war situations.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_00: And not even complicating right now, like not even talking about past lives and so on, but we've all come from a you know, somewhere where people really had to um survive with less food.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_00: They really had to go out and find food.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't realize that that's that's a reality.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if I um give you the example of how body works, you know, we talk about the fight and flight syndrome.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and today you and I have no tigers to run away from.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yet we still have the fight or flight syndrome.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_00: That was so, so, so long ago, right?
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_00: If our generations above, just two or three generations above, have had to live through war, they've really had to face dire circumstances where um maybe their country was not getting food and they had to really fight for food.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there was no jobs, maybe they had to do really measly jobs, maybe they really had to think every single time, or they did not even have enough food to eat or support, and they had to think, okay, which one of their family members gets food, how much they get.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they had to live through that.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_00: But what is the possibility that we still run that programming within our DNA?
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because we still run the fight or flight syndrome.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've often thought that actually, my, you know, with uh my grandparents um would have had rations in the Second World War.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and I remember, you know, and and this whole thing with sugar and how good sugar is, um, it was a treat.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: It was a treat then, because they could only afford a certain amount.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_01: They, you know, with their ration tickets, they could buy X amount of um ounces of sugar.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was a treat.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_01: And how that story has kind of evolved and how we still are quite emotionally connected to it because of that experience as well.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_00: So what I see in my healing work when I do that is that when there's something like that that comes up, like let's say whether that is, you know, an eating habit somebody has, or whether that is um, well, I need to work really hard or I really need to be very stingy around money, I can't spend it.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's that, you know, the control around money.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'll often see like this chain of ancestors below, and they're not hanging in there to trouble you or bother you, but it's just that in a way, their spirit experience at that time that's been trapped and they haven't been fully able to come out of it.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_00: So when you heal yourself, they're just standing there so that they can be healed and they can move on as well.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_00: When you can heal that part, and when you can go, okay, you know, for me, now it is safe to receive money, or for me, it is safe to spend money.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_00: Money loves me with whatever iterations you're doing like that, it really heals them inside as well.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_00: They're able to let go, and your body actually relaxes.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like a lot of times, my clients will say, Oh, I can breathe better.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_00: All the time because there was a knot that was in their body that has been released because of that.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_01: Your work um with your clients now is specifically around um helping women to step into their lives with more purpose, more visibility to create the life that they truly want or they that they truly desire.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, it's around more visibility, more meaning, whatever you want to do, like step to your next level, embody your next level.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I am a project manager, so that's where I get you.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_01: And money's a part of that, and money or wealth, different things.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_00: So money, I would say, is the physical, you know, the notes or the money in the bank.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_00: That is money.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I say it more because as I realize, money is very much a frequency that ties everything in.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_00: And let's face it, like, let's say if you have a loving relationship or you're doing a job that you really like, but you're not getting paid for it well enough, it does not feel good.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_00: You need money for everything, and hence I really call out money so that you are able to afford, you're able to go onto places.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_00: But money and wealth are different things.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_00: Wealth is more around abundance, wealth is a lot of different things.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_00: Wealth is the knowledge that you have, wealth is the connections that you have, wealth is how your whole experience is.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_00: So it is wealth, but I call out money specifically because, especially as women, I feel a lot of us because we tie our words, you know, we haven't really been taught to ask.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_00: We feel that maybe even wanting money, sometimes we feel even guilty for wanting money.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I specifically call out money that hey, you deserve a good life, you deserve to be able to buy the dresses that you want to go on the holidays that you want to like.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_00: You deserve to have all those things and don't shut your light because you deserve to live like a queen.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_01: So as you're um as we're coming to a close, obviously um love to hear a little bit about or a lot again, a little bit or a lot, about the your program.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_01: Do you are you running individual readings and coaching, or do you have a group program?
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_01: How does that all work in your world?
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think the best way for someone to start with me is just book a call.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's a free breakthrough call.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_00: I will actually help you look at your life, help you see some of the patterns, and usually, even just that gives you a lot of clarity around what is happening, what's really undergoing, because um, that's what I get from people.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, wow, that was just so clear.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know what to do next.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you're really willing, we can talk about the next steps.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_00: And there can be a variety of options.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there could be ways I love offering people a container that gives them a continued support.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because once I do something, then I don't just want to leave them.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm a mom at heart.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_00: I want to see you stand up, run, shine.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I get truly, truly excited by it.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_00: So when you are empowered, when you are like, I got this client, or I got this salary rise, or I wrote the book, I, you know, I sung my song, whatever that is for you, when you've done that, I feel like I've won.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_00: So my deepest, truest passion is to help you expand.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I invite people into a container with me.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_00: There can be different sorts of containers and what works for them.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then that's how we work together.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_00: In the container, that might be um readings with me, that might be healings, readings and healings with me, or might be meditations and other group work that we do together.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a lovely supportive community so that when you step in, you have everything to stand up and then run and go on from there.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_01: I like, yeah, it sounds like it's sort of tailored depending on what what the individual needs.
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, totally is.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like I talk to every single client of mine, and I think that is the I'm not doing it to be different, but I understand that everybody has their own divine light.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_00: You have your own divine purpose.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I specifically tune into you and what it is that you want.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_00: So there is stuff that is a lot of like there's a lot of group work in there, but it's very energetic and it's very customized, held according to you.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like the containers that I have, it's all intuitive voice messaging for you because it meets you where you are at.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody is having a different story.
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's why you came, that's why you incarnated on earth.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I like you know, as mums, you might be looking at your two kids and you are giving them the same food, for example, but there's a different way in which you talk to the both of them.
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think I carry that mum energy.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_01: Eat your peas.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_01: Or vision or mission as you journey through your own.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're probably at the beginning of your midlife, aren't you?
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm 44.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, but that's kind of near the beginning.
• 1:03:35
  SPEAKER_00: Near the beginning.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
• 1:03:37
  SPEAKER_01: Let me assure you.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's a very good question, isn't it?
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so my name is Kanika, and I never really liked my name as I was growing up.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, Kanika actually means the small part of something big.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_00: Kanika comes from the word kanak in Hindi, it is a grain of wheat.
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_00: And when I asked my mom, she's like, oh, you know, but wheat was a staple food, everybody wanted to have food, like the, you know, the safety with food.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_00: So it was a very appropriate name, they thought to give to me.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so I got this name.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I grew up really not liking it because as much as she understood, oh, kanak or the grain of wheat was really important to nourish people, and you know, that's the beginning of the everything.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't like it.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then she would say, Well, you were a small part of something big, and I did not like it.
• 1:04:31
  SPEAKER_00: But as I grow up, I understand this that the work that I am doing is supposed to create a ripple effect, and it's a ripple effect that I'm a part of.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really, really happy for the transformations that I do, and that's why this work is so important to me.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_00: It is, oh, it is bigger than me.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's chosen me.
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so glad that it's chosen me because it's so much bigger than me.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_00: My work is very much around transforming, helping other people spread more love, spread more light in their own worlds, find more meaning.
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now, whether they are business owners or not, whether they're moms, it's absolutely fine because when you heal yourself, you're healing the whole world around you unknowingly.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're healing your ancestors, you're healing all the other people who are seeing you, you're healing definitely your family who have to adapt to a new version of you.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, my passion, my purpose is to be that lighthouse that allows others to come in, inspires them, empowers them to be in their love and light and expand.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then that ripples across.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, amazing, beautiful.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_00: And do you like your name now?
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love it.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_00: I love it now, and I also like now I have this funny chuckle to myself, and like, oh, like, what was I thinking?
• 1:05:56
  SPEAKER_00: How could I be bigger than that?
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, because like it takes so much pressure away, and it is so um not even just humbling, but it is so graceful that I'm a little part that that the universe is looking after me, the things are rippling through me.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, A, I don't have to do much, I just have to be my own light, and it automatically happens.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's just so much lightness in that, there's just so much joy in that.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think I'm fully still accepting it and coming to terms with it, but I love it now more and more as I understand the fullness of it.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for joining us.
• 1:06:39
  SPEAKER_01: I've loved it.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, I really appreciate your time and sharing your wisdom with us.
• 1:06:45
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Nadine, because this has been so much fun as well.
• 1:06:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think you've answered asked really beautiful questions.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_00: I love your depth with the questions.
• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a pleasure being here.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_01: Hey there, Rebel.
• 1:06:59
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Midlife Rebel Podcast.
• 1:07:04
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to support the show, you can buy me a coffee by going to Buy MeACoffee forward slash Midlife Rebel Podcast.
• 1:07:13
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening.