Latest / Not All Business / Networking Without the Ick: How to Build Real Connections

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Networking Without the Ick: How to Build Real Connections · Not All Business

• 0:00
  Have you ever gotten a job without someone making an intro,
• 0:04
  sharing a link, or opening a door for you?
• 0:06
  Probably not. And if you think networking is
• 0:08
  just collecting business cards, if those are even a thing
• 0:12
  anymore, you're about to rethink everything.
• 0:14
  Today we're talking to Bailey Hancock, connection strategist
• 0:18
  and founder of Overlap Collective.
• 0:20
  You're going to hear why people are portals, why that Open to
• 0:24
  Work badge on LinkedIn might be doing you more harm than good,
• 0:27
  and how to walk in a room full of strangers without immediately
• 0:31
  wanting to fake a bathroom emergency.
• 0:33
  We're also kicking off something we're calling PIP for pup
• 0:36
  Heathers very public, very vulnerable fitness journey
• 0:40
  rooted in presidential fitness trauma.
• 0:42
  You all remember when we fell off the pull up bar in front of
• 0:46
  our entire middle school gym class.
• 0:48
  And Clay, he's on 2 pips now, so buckle up.
• 0:52
  Welcome to Not All Business, a podcast by two former CE OS who
• 0:56
  went from competitors to friends.
• 0:58
  I'm Blakely Graham and my Co host is Heather Cooper and we're
• 1:01
  joined by our producer, Clay Cornell.
• 1:04
  Let's get down to business. Heather, Are you ready?
• 1:16
  For the podcast, yes, I'm very excited about this one actually.
• 1:20
  Yeah. No, no, no.
• 1:22
  Guess who I talked to yesterday? Who?
• 1:27
  Our guest from episode 16, Nicole Christensen.
• 1:31
  How's Nicole doing? Nicole is awesome.
• 1:35
  She did follow up on the pit for the PUP program that we were
• 1:39
  supposed to be doing. She did.
• 1:41
  I thought that was just kind of like a, hey, we should do that.
• 1:44
  Like we're going to go pole dancing.
• 1:46
  No, we are going pole dancing. But real quick, what's a PIP and
• 1:51
  what's a PUP? Well, how?
• 1:53
  Clarification Clay. How many times do we have to
• 1:56
  define an acronym on the show for it to be like, just in our
• 2:00
  vernacular? Is it every time?
• 2:01
  Probably for a while, yeah. Right, right, right.
• 2:05
  Until we hit a million hours. So we hit a million followers.
• 2:11
  So we hit a million. I'll tell you what.
• 2:12
  Yeah. Listeners, get us to 1,000,000.
• 2:14
  Followers, we'll stop. So we stop.
• 2:18
  OK, so what's a PIP and what's a PUP?
• 2:20
  OK. So a PIP we all know from Clay's
• 2:25
  performance is a performance improvement plan, right?
• 2:29
  So that's the PIP. And then a PUP is a new term
• 2:33
  we've made-up that stands for fill in the blank.
• 2:36
  It's either a push up plan or a pull up plan, right?
• 2:42
  And so we decided after, I mean. Christmas it was around then.
• 2:49
  After Christmas, but I was going to bring up like after 8th grade
• 2:52
  and 6th grade and. 7th grade. Well just lead with my trauma
• 2:57
  then why don't we? Yeah, like there's something
• 3:00
  about the Gen. X generation because I, I'm not
• 3:03
  sure if you had to deal with Clay, deal with the presidential
• 3:07
  fitness. Yeah, I did.
• 3:09
  Yes, I did. It was a huge damn it, and I
• 3:11
  think they're still doing it, actually.
• 3:13
  And they reinvented. It yeah, I think.
• 3:16
  Who's that? RFK or whatever?
• 3:19
  I think he came out and like tried to make it come back and
• 3:22
  I'm like, it's still not good. It's still not good.
• 3:26
  No unrealistic expectations. It is unrealistic.
• 3:29
  So just like to give you perspective, I think we talked
• 3:31
  about this on Nicole episode, episode 16, but they had you
• 3:36
  like no training. You've never done anything in
• 3:40
  gym other than dodgeball. And then they're like today is
• 3:43
  the presidential fitness test and you have to go and if you're
• 3:47
  a boy, you have to do a pull up. If you have a girl, you have to
• 3:49
  do a flex arm hang, which what even is that you had to do?
• 3:53
  What are you sit ups, push ups? Didn't you have to like, Oh my
• 3:56
  God. I forgot about the rope climb,
• 4:02
  that's even worse. The one that I remember having
• 4:04
  to do is we had these things that were like, it was a metal
• 4:08
  box and you would sit on your butt, put your feet out and then
• 4:13
  you would have to reach out the. Stretch test.
• 4:15
  Stretch test. Yeah, they still do that in
• 4:17
  Lifetime Fitness. And you couldn't.
• 4:19
  Just like. Do one quick like you know, and
• 4:22
  then push it right To get as far as you could.
• 4:25
  You had to like, hold it. Hold.
• 4:26
  It and it was like, but they we didn't even warm up.
• 4:30
  So no, they're just here, sit here, do that.
• 4:32
  Yeah. Fail.
• 4:33
  Yeah, that was my experience. That's the bullshit about it,
• 4:36
  right? There's no warm up, nor were you
• 4:38
  ever taught any of this. Like the only things you were
• 4:41
  taught were like the penny drop on the playground and that was
• 4:44
  really bad. Like how many times did you do
• 4:46
  the penny drop and like, like all the breath comes out of you?
• 4:50
  Do you ever do those? I don't.
• 4:51
  You're talking about. Don't know what that is either.
• 4:54
  Really. Is that where like you would
• 4:57
  like try to like choke each other until the breathe and then
• 5:00
  walk around and be dizzy? And then you hit their chest
• 5:02
  really fast. No, no, no, no, no, no.
• 5:05
  OK, just let me know. So when you're like swinging
• 5:08
  upside down on like the monkey bars, so you have your legs and
• 5:14
  you're swinging, swinging, swinging, and you swing to like
• 5:16
  a fulcrum of, I don't know if I'm using physics terms right,
• 5:19
  like a fulcrum of 180 and then you drop your legs off and land
• 5:23
  on your feet. But I was not very like gymnast
• 5:26
  inclined. So I would land like on my chest
• 5:29
  and not the wind out and it wasn't good.
• 5:32
  But that's what we did while the boys went and played football.
• 5:35
  It was. What are we going to do for you
• 5:37
  for that? So Nicole's putting you on a, on
• 5:40
  a PIP for that. Is that what you were going to
• 5:42
  say? That's not even funny.
• 5:44
  I do need to learn how to do a handstand, but that's another
• 5:47
  story. OK, let's get back to Nicole.
• 5:48
  So I talked to Nicole and she made a recommendation.
• 5:54
  She recommended that you come in with me this week to do a
• 6:00
  personal training session with her.
• 6:02
  She is going to demonstrate at the gym.
• 6:07
  You got to come to the gym just once, just once.
• 6:10
  It's going to be great. It's going to be awesome.
• 6:13
  And she's like, I think that we shouldn't just do the push up.
• 6:16
  We should do the push up and the pull up at the.
• 6:18
  Same time, yeah. No, I live on.
• 6:22
  Benefit. She's got science.
• 6:25
  There's benefit from like a push pull thing.
• 6:28
  Oh, you should trust her. That I do.
• 6:30
  I do trust her. I'm embarrassed.
• 6:31
  This is hard for me. It is embarrassing, but that's
• 6:34
  the whole point of like, recovering from the presidential
• 6:38
  fitness. Trying to like.
• 6:40
  We're going to get through it together and we're going to get
• 6:42
  through it supported. We're not going to be
• 6:43
  competitive about it. This is about you getting a push
• 6:46
  up. This is about you getting a pull
• 6:47
  up. I'll just work on hand stands in
• 6:49
  the corner and we're going to do this.
• 6:52
  But you have to commit to a few things.
• 6:53
  You have to commit to four days a week I.
• 6:57
  I'm not driving to Boulder to go to the gym four days.
• 6:58
  No, no, no, no, no. You're going to do this at your
• 7:00
  home. She's just going to check in on
• 7:02
  you once in a while. You're going to.
• 7:04
  I would. I think we should bring people
• 7:07
  along. I think you should post it
• 7:10
  because we don't really post a lot on social.
• 7:13
  Oh my gosh, Heather's fitness journey.
• 7:16
  Oh yeah. I think we should OK.
• 7:18
  I mean, I think we we post a lot of reels, but we don't post a
• 7:22
  lot of like, hey, what's going on in our lives?
• 7:25
  And wouldn't it be great if Heather.
• 7:27
  Oh my God, I don't know why it's like bringing tears to my eyes.
• 7:31
  Well, OK. Ah, but OK.
• 7:33
  Well, you know. First of all, working cares.
• 7:35
  Really. Everyone's gonna watch this.
• 7:37
  I care. OK, OK.
• 7:38
  Well. Maybe no one's watching it
• 7:40
  anyway. But here's why I'm willing to to
• 7:42
  try this. And I do.
• 7:44
  I mean, I did say it to Nicole's.
• 7:46
  I do. I'm a woman of my word and I
• 7:48
  will follow through. I want to.
• 7:50
  I want everyone to know though, that this is just like a silly
• 7:53
  thing for me. Like this is the arms thing
• 7:55
  getting laughed at by the whole class like has.
• 7:59
  Excuse me, what? What are you talking?
• 8:01
  About. What happened?
• 8:03
  What the arms, guys? Well, no so in the presidential
• 8:05
  fit in the in we'd so we had to we got called up one by one,
• 8:08
  boys and girls in the same room because we.
• 8:11
  Were yeah, that's the other thing.
• 8:12
  We had to do it one at a time. Yes, one at a time.
• 8:15
  And they had this ladder thing and they, you got to walk up on
• 8:19
  it and then you got to get settled at the bar and then they
• 8:21
  just like removed the stool out from under you.
• 8:24
  And then you had to hold as long as you could with your chin up.
• 8:28
  This. And most of my friends would do,
• 8:30
  I don't know, like 4 or 5 seconds, they're shaking and
• 8:32
  then they like slowly go down. They removed the thing and I was
• 8:36
  like trying so hard enough, so nervous and everyone.
• 8:38
  And all I was thinking was was like where my shorts pulled down
• 8:41
  out of my butt and I was like, holy.
• 8:43
  And then they did it and I immediately just whooshed down.
• 8:47
  Fell like not even the second I didn't even hold it, a second
• 8:51
  crash. And then everyone laughed and
• 8:54
  laughed. I was so embarrassed.
• 8:56
  And I said I had to go to the bathroom.
• 8:58
  And so then I went and I cried. It was horrible.
• 9:01
  It was just that memory of that. And so I still have that.
• 9:03
  And then growing up, like I just did not have naturally fit arms.
• 9:06
  I mean, I'm fine. I'm not complaining.
• 9:08
  Oh my God. There's worse problems in the
• 9:10
  world. But like my first job, they were
• 9:12
  like, you have fat arms for a kid.
• 9:14
  I'm like, thanks. Well, I'm sorry, What?
• 9:16
  Yeah, What do you. It was my second thought.
• 9:18
  It wasn't the and W people. It was a.
• 9:20
  Great restaurant, who is it? Well, we had to do the OPA thing
• 9:23
  where it's like OPA, where's the oh, does she know?
• 9:26
  You about that, I think that's you know.
• 9:27
  What are you talking about? Oh, it's.
• 9:29
  Saganaki, it's fried cheese and so there's a thing of cheese and
• 9:32
  then you pour a thing of alcohol on it and then you have a
• 9:34
  lighter and it goes on flakes. OPA ah.
• 9:39
  It's anyway. It's a it's it's served at.
• 9:41
  It's a great thing, yeah, so good, so, so good and so.
• 9:46
  But you have to have some strength with you to hold it all
• 9:48
  up. And so the guy grabs the back of
• 9:50
  my tricep and he goes, you're not strong enough for this.
• 9:53
  You have two fat arms. So I couldn't do the saganaki
• 9:57
  and then yeah, it was one after another.
• 10:01
  And so but then I, my arms also can do this, which I leaned
• 10:04
  into. It's like if I'm going to have
• 10:05
  bad arms, I'm just going to do because you know how they do
• 10:07
  this? The double jointed hyper.
• 10:10
  Whoa. Double jointed elbows too, but
• 10:12
  they're not like not only. Yeah, and it goes back up this
• 10:16
  mine. Do this way.
• 10:18
  Both of them, yeah. So then I just it actually makes
• 10:21
  pushups. Harder, just so you know.
• 10:23
  That's awesome because. That's well, I struggle with
• 10:26
  pushups because of that double joint at that, OK.
• 10:29
  She's actually like, I didn't told, I didn't tell Nicole that
• 10:32
  no. No, no, here's Nicole.
• 10:33
  She's going to be watching this. She's like, there's no such
• 10:36
  thing. This doesn't exist.
• 10:37
  It does exist. When you do it like that, you
• 10:40
  can't see your hands. Can you please stop doing that?
• 10:43
  OK, I know it doesn't help that my my arms are blending into the
• 10:47
  wall. OK, just real.
• 10:47
  Quick, grateful listeners. If you're listening right now,
• 10:51
  just so you know, go to YouTube immediately.
• 10:54
  Go see what just what Heather is.
• 10:56
  Heather is yes and no, boys. My legs can't do it.
• 10:59
  That was always their next question.
• 11:01
  But as a mom, it was so great to be able to like, reach behind
• 11:05
  the seat and like get the pacifier when it fell out, like
• 11:07
  while I'm driving. I forgot about those days.
• 11:10
  Superpowers pacifiers. How many did you find?
• 11:13
  Like underneath car seats. So gross, but I just like blow
• 11:16
  it off it's fine. So anyway, it's a thing.
• 11:20
  I don't know. It's a thing I could when I got
• 11:21
  married, I was like, how can I like I tried really hard and it
• 11:24
  just, I still wasn't strong enough.
• 11:25
  So I just it's, it's a reconditioning of my mind.
• 11:29
  It's really why I'm willing to do this because I was totally
• 11:31
  conditioned that I'm not going to be able to do this and I gave
• 11:33
  up. And now I'm like, no, we're
• 11:35
  going to recondition this thinking that I've been grown up
• 11:38
  with that was a lie and it's not true and I need to do it.
• 11:42
  So I'm going to do it. I'm so proud of you.
• 11:44
  I I do think it'll be transformative and not in like
• 11:48
  looks like, screw that. It's going to be transformative
• 11:51
  and like how strong you feel and how proud of yourself you'll be.
• 11:55
  It's going to be. Great.
• 11:56
  Although if I'm doing something four days a week, I also want it
• 11:58
  to look better. Well.
• 12:02
  I. Another thing that Nicole is
• 12:04
  going to teach you is really do. It's not about the exercise.
• 12:10
  OK. Well, I obviously have a lot to
• 12:12
  learn. Yeah.
• 12:14
  Yeah. OK, but we're just this is not
• 12:16
  running. I'm not like this is not running
• 12:18
  whole head to toe fitness. We're talking like 5 minutes a
• 12:22
  day. This I can do this.
• 12:24
  Will be fine. Maybe it's 15, Heather, You're
• 12:25
  it's gonna be. Great.
• 12:27
  Your story has really kind of like really touched me.
• 12:30
  It's like motivated me a little bit and I've got.
• 12:34
  Are you serious you're making fun of?
• 12:35
  Me. No, I'm serious.
• 12:37
  You're serious? Yeah, because I, I had, well,
• 12:42
  not to get into my story too, but some of what you shared made
• 12:45
  me feel like, oh, like, you know, I could actually go about
• 12:49
  this and do this and make a change and empower myself.
• 12:52
  So I have a pull up bar. And so will you let me know what
• 12:58
  my pup is? Yeah, 'cause you texted me and
• 13:00
  you said, hey, we're, this is before Nicole was in on all
• 13:04
  this. You were like, hey, get a pull
• 13:07
  up bar. We're all doing this.
• 13:08
  And I think you meant to text your kids but you texted us and
• 13:12
  so I bought 1 and I have a pull up bar.
• 13:16
  Oh yeah, 'cause this is not the first time that Blakely has
• 13:18
  tried to get her employees to do pull ups at work.
• 13:20
  If you look on LinkedIn, she that one of her old employees, I
• 13:24
  remember when we had a pull up bar in the basement when task
• 13:27
  grade was just getting started and I was like, she's doing the
• 13:29
  same thing to me guys. So yes, we need to do that.
• 13:33
  But Clay, you probably wouldn't see that because once again, you
• 13:36
  don't go on LinkedIn, you've got some weird fear of I don't know
• 13:39
  what it is, but we we need to get you in on a PIP for the pup.
• 13:45
  OK? So you're coming right along
• 13:46
  with me and then also probably a PIP for this like networking
• 13:50
  issue that you are afraid. So surprise to you, Clay, I
• 13:54
  brought on an expert who is going to talk about networking,
• 13:58
  how important it is. And we'll ask her, we'll ask her
• 14:01
  if Linkedin's important to network.
• 14:03
  All right, OK. I'm on 2 pips.
• 14:05
  Let's let's get our. Guests in.
• 14:06
  On here deflect. All right.
• 14:08
  Welcome, Bailey Hancock. Everyone is looking for an
• 14:15
  advantage in their marketing that they can digest in a clear,
• 14:19
  fun format. Well, there's one podcast I want
• 14:22
  to tell you about that's changing the game.
• 14:25
  It's called Your Audience is Waiting and it's for business
• 14:27
  leaders who are done with surface level marketing advice.
• 14:31
  Hosted by visibility and content strategist Alicia Everett, this
• 14:36
  isn't a show about posting more content.
• 14:38
  It's about aligning your visibility strategy with actual
• 14:41
  business goals and revenue. Alicia helps CEOs, founders, and
• 14:46
  Ready to Scale business owners build strategic visibility
• 14:49
  ecosystems that position you as the authority in your space and
• 14:53
  convert attention into customers.
• 14:55
  Real frameworks, real ROI Clay, that's return on investment.
• 15:01
  So if you're leading a business and you want to grow, go
• 15:04
  subscribe to Your Audience's Waiting wherever you listen to
• 15:07
  podcasts. Hello OK I have a lot to say.
• 15:15
  OK, go for it. Jump in.
• 15:18
  OK, first thing, screw the presidential fitness assessment.
• 15:22
  You're right on every count. They prepare you not at all.
• 15:25
  They throw children. What are we preparing for Hunger
• 15:28
  Games? Like what?
• 15:30
  Why you can't? Are we measuring something we've
• 15:33
  never prepared for? How is that a it'd be different
• 15:36
  if it was like, here's your starting, you know, stats and
• 15:40
  then now six months later, after, after working on all of
• 15:43
  these important physical skills, now we're going to measure you
• 15:47
  again to see how far you've progressed.
• 15:48
  No, it's one and done. Yes.
• 15:50
  What? That's so done part of your
• 15:52
  grade too. It was.
• 15:53
  Part of your grades. Look, PE is, is traumatic for
• 15:57
  most people, I feel like, especially in middle school.
• 16:00
  But the other thing I will say, I have never had strong arms in
• 16:03
  my entire life. So I thought I just don't have
• 16:06
  those muscles. That's just not a thing.
• 16:08
  And then I had kids and within the last year I've doing
• 16:12
  Reformer Pilates twice a week, which I'm completely obsessed
• 16:15
  with. I'm just going to bust it up.
• 16:17
  I've got muscles now, You guys, yes.
• 16:19
  You do look at that definition. I have muscles now, I'm strong,
• 16:23
  I can carry my 55 pounder my 6 1/2 year old son in one arm and
• 16:28
  my 45 pounder 4 1/2 year old daughter in my other arm and I'm
• 16:31
  like I am woman hear me roar. So it is possible to still gain
• 16:36
  muscle? I'm 41.
• 16:37
  I was told that it's all downhill from here and so far I
• 16:40
  have more muscle in my body than I've ever had.
• 16:42
  So there is hope for all of us. What what what made you do that?
• 16:46
  Bailey? How did you like start at post
• 16:49
  Kids? I need severe depression
• 16:53
  obviously. Last year was such a shit show
• 16:57
  and I needed to get back in shape because I was just
• 17:00
  miserable inside of my body. I didn't know who I was anymore.
• 17:03
  I didn't recognize her and I was I had just turned 40 and I was
• 17:08
  like, OK, I maybe have 10 years till everything changes once
• 17:12
  again. I would love a solid five years.
• 17:14
  I'll take 5 of feeling at home and good in my body.
• 17:17
  Let's see if I can even do this and I found a local studio that
• 17:22
  is just it's first of all, it's beautiful, which helps so nice.
• 17:25
  It's in walking distance to my house, which helps.
• 17:29
  And I love all the people that go there.
• 17:31
  And if I don't show up, they call me on it the next class.
• 17:33
  They're like, where were you on Monday?
• 17:35
  That was like, my kid was sick. I couldn't come.
• 17:37
  And they're like, oh, OK, you couldn't take an hour.
• 17:39
  And I'm like, fine, you're right.
• 17:41
  So peer pressure is a big one, too.
• 17:43
  And it's just a nice little community.
• 17:45
  And that's made me want to keep going.
• 17:47
  And, and then obviously it was like, I felt the results pretty
• 17:50
  soon. And that was cool.
• 17:52
  I was like, wait, wait, is that definition in my arm?
• 17:56
  And so now I'm like this Pilates junkie.
• 18:00
  I still only go twice a week because, you know, who has the
• 18:02
  time? But I love going in there and
• 18:04
  feeling like a badass. And so I'm like.
• 18:07
  Oh, what have I been doing my whole life?
• 18:09
  I think the. Key is what you said, it's a
• 18:11
  nice little community. If you can find a nice little
• 18:14
  community of like minded people lifting weights and getting
• 18:18
  strong and feeling empowerment for that, it's incredible.
• 18:21
  That's why I go. And by the way, I'm 10 years
• 18:23
  older than you. And yes, everything does shift
• 18:26
  and it shifts every decade, like 30 shift, 40 shift, 50 huge
• 18:31
  shift. And so it's all the more reason
• 18:34
  why we're all on the pit for the pup.
• 18:36
  Just saying. It's all the more reason to put
• 18:38
  yourself out on the Internet while you fail.
• 18:41
  Public shaming. Public shaming.
• 18:43
  Powerful. Yeah, by the way, Clay here,
• 18:47
  look at me going out and like trying something I can't do
• 18:50
  right. Oh, Clay did call you out on.
• 18:53
  That well, he well, he said that.
• 18:55
  What was it? Was it millennials?
• 18:57
  Oh, you read that story. The millennials don't like to be
• 18:59
  seen trying. Yeah.
• 19:01
  Look at Gen. X.
• 19:03
  Oh, I thought you were talking about you don't like to not be.
• 19:07
  You don't like to be told what to do.
• 19:09
  What was that? Controversy.
• 19:11
  Last. That's not a controversy.
• 19:12
  That's just a fact. Yeah.
• 19:14
  Does anybody? I don't.
• 19:16
  I don't like to be told what to do.
• 19:18
  Yeah. I don't mind it.
• 19:20
  No. Good to know.
• 19:22
  Yeah. Lock that one away for another
• 19:23
  day, OK? Perfect.
• 19:25
  Test that theory out. Test that theory out on her.
• 19:28
  So Bailey, I've been so excited to have you on the show.
• 19:33
  So as you're a master networker, actually through your network,
• 19:39
  you came to us through Michelle Lando.
• 19:41
  Yes. Yeah.
• 19:42
  And so people remember Michelle from our first season, healthy,
• 19:46
  right styles, right styles, resume, LinkedIn branding.
• 19:50
  And part of what attracted us to Michelle was just the way that
• 19:53
  she valued how you present yourself to someone and her take
• 19:57
  on that in networking. And so then she obviously
• 20:01
  thought of you in the broader scope of networking.
• 20:04
  And I would love to hear from your perspective just.
• 20:08
  What got you into it briefly? And then you know, how important
• 20:12
  is it to use your network to get ahead?
• 20:15
  Is that just something people say about it's all about who you
• 20:18
  know, or is that actually true, Tried and true?
• 20:21
  I mean, you tell me, have you ever gotten a job without having
• 20:24
  somebody open a door or send a link or a referral or tell you
• 20:29
  about something they heard or recommend a book to read to help
• 20:32
  you get? Like, we just don't do anything
• 20:35
  in isolation. And if you do, I find that it is
• 20:38
  infinitely harder than if you allow your people to support you
• 20:42
  in it, right? And I mean, the thing I say all
• 20:45
  the time is people are portals. And what I mean by that is every
• 20:49
  opportunity, every idea, every bit of inspiration to me has
• 20:53
  come through somebody that opened a door for me or a
• 20:56
  portal. And the whole your network is
• 21:00
  your net worth thing is completely true.
• 21:03
  And I can say with certainty, I've never had a job or a really
• 21:06
  cool opportunity that didn't come by way of a referral from
• 21:10
  somebody that had a sense of what I wanted and was willing to
• 21:14
  make that intro for me because they trusted that I wasn't going
• 21:17
  to make them look stupid, right? Nobody refers somebody that
• 21:20
  they're like, I hope they don't screw this up.
• 21:23
  It just it that feels gross, right?
• 21:25
  And so it's just it's integral to having opportunities come
• 21:30
  your way that are the right fit that you actually want and that
• 21:32
  you don't have to hustle so hard to get on your own.
• 21:35
  When I meet people networking and coffees and they're looking
• 21:39
  for a job, some of them have never done any type of
• 21:44
  networking before. I might be their first one and
• 21:46
  they don't even really know what to like to do at the coffee.
• 21:48
  And someone told me once that whenever you're looking for a
• 21:51
  job, it takes how much do you want to how much do you want to
• 21:54
  make 80,000 for 800,000. OK, I can't do that kind of
• 21:58
  math. Let's do 80.
• 21:59
  So for $80,000 for every $10,000, plan on one month of
• 22:04
  networking to like break that down.
• 22:05
  What does it mean? So if I meet someone and I'm
• 22:09
  having coffee with them, their biggest ask for me should be at
• 22:13
  least one to two introductions. And so I tell them if you have 8
• 22:17
  months of networking you need to do to find your job, you need to
• 22:20
  break that down into two coffees a week.
• 22:23
  So that's eight a month. So then 8 * 8 is 64 coffees.
• 22:27
  And how are you going to get 64 coffees to get to your referral
• 22:30
  to get to your $80,000 job, right?
• 22:32
  Like it's all about networking and getting the next intro and
• 22:35
  the next intro. It's hard.
• 22:37
  I find it to be extremely hard work.
• 22:40
  So I'm hoping, Bailey, I can see the value of it now.
• 22:43
  Can you just tell me how to make that a little easier, right?
• 22:45
  Like how to make it you? Don't need to be starting from
• 22:48
  scratch every time. And that's that's what people
• 22:51
  often do wrong with networking. It's like I'm starving, let me
• 22:55
  go to the grocery store right now.
• 22:58
  Has that ever played out in a good way?
• 23:00
  No. You come home with crap or you
• 23:03
  just grab the nearest thing or you just frankly order from
• 23:06
  DoorDash, right? And so you're not being
• 23:08
  intentional, you're not being thoughtful, you're not thinking
• 23:10
  ahead and being strategic. The way to network is long
• 23:14
  before you need to tap your network.
• 23:16
  The way to network is to think of it as as just curating your
• 23:20
  community with cool people that you feel kind of aligned with.
• 23:25
  And we can get into alignment and authenticity and all of the
• 23:28
  buzzwords that actually really play into this.
• 23:30
  But it's more so about continuously growing your
• 23:33
  community with people who you would be happy to refer and who
• 23:38
  would be happy to refer you. And Michelle is a perfect
• 23:41
  example of this. She and I met probably 11 or so
• 23:45
  years ago now. I was in the early stages of
• 23:47
  entrepreneurship and I was calling myself, I think, a
• 23:51
  career happiness strategist or something back then.
• 23:54
  And same work, just a different lens.
• 23:56
  And Michelle has been in the resume game forever it would
• 23:59
  seem. And she and I got connected and
• 24:02
  just really hit it off. She's one of those people I've
• 24:05
  met in person I think 3 times. But anytime her name pops up in
• 24:10
  my inbox or in my text messages, I'm excited.
• 24:13
  I see her name and I'm like, oh, what's Michelle up to?
• 24:15
  And same with her. We have a really good
• 24:17
  relationship. So there's trust, there's
• 24:19
  longevity. And so when an opportunity comes
• 24:22
  that I can think of her for, I'm going to send it, no question.
• 24:26
  And that's how it works in reality reality.
• 24:28
  But there is some tending to that, there's some nurturing to
• 24:32
  that, and there's some long term intentionality to that.
• 24:36
  And that's what people miss a lot of times they're like, how
• 24:38
  many business cards can I go collect because I'm looking for
• 24:40
  a new job? That is weird.
• 24:42
  Like you just met somebody and you're going to ask them for
• 24:44
  something right away. Yeah.
• 24:47
  How do you, how do you decide who you want to invite to
• 24:51
  coffee? Because I think there's this
• 24:53
  perception of, you know, oh, I should only be spending time.
• 24:57
  I only have so many hours in a day.
• 24:58
  I have to really maximize the type of people.
• 25:01
  But then also, I've been in positions where a job came from
• 25:04
  a neighbor's husband who was over for dinner that night.
• 25:07
  And you know what I mean, where it's like the universe kind of
• 25:09
  also has things happening at the same time.
• 25:12
  And so how do you know who to contact when?
• 25:16
  What type of people should be you be going after?
• 25:19
  Is there a strategy to that piece or is it just leaning
• 25:21
  into, like you said, get to know as many cool people as you can?
• 25:24
  How? Where do you start?
• 25:26
  Yes. And I think it, you know, we
• 25:29
  over compartmentalize our relationships.
• 25:32
  We have our work life and our personal life.
• 25:34
  And the thing about that is people are people in both.
• 25:37
  And this actually really drives me crazy about LinkedIn.
• 25:41
  People are so performative and it's.
• 25:44
  So. Much bullshit, yes.
• 25:46
  And it's talking about that, Yes, true.
• 25:49
  It's probably just performative platform of all.
• 25:52
  It's so cringey and I understand why people don't want to play
• 25:55
  that game and frankly, I don't play that game on LinkedIn.
• 25:58
  I am coming up on my 19 year anniversary of being on LinkedIn
• 26:02
  which is which makes just sense because I'm 22.
• 26:06
  It just doesn't make any and. How your parents got you on
• 26:10
  there early? It came out the year I graduated
• 26:14
  college and so I just like a dutiful little brand New Girl to
• 26:18
  corporate America got on there And so I've been on there
• 26:20
  forever and it's obviously like morphed through the years.
• 26:24
  But what I love about it is it is this, you know, massive
• 26:29
  Rolodex of everybody that I have worked with, that I've
• 26:32
  collaborated with, that I've met and I try and add my real life
• 26:36
  friends on LinkedIn too, which creeps all of them out.
• 26:39
  And I'm like, I don't care. You are a person with a job and
• 26:43
  you know, people. And so I think the over
• 26:46
  compartmentalization of our personal lives and work lives
• 26:49
  really does us no benefits at all.
• 26:52
  So if you can kind of zoom out and think about, OK, people are
• 26:56
  people are people, people have jobs, people know people.
• 26:59
  To your point, it's often like, oh, actually I think my cousin's
• 27:04
  boyfriend worked at this company.
• 27:06
  Maybe they know somebody, right? And it's usually that, right?
• 27:09
  Right. And so I think if you can stop
• 27:11
  thinking about, OK, I need to do a LinkedIn search for people
• 27:15
  that have this title in their profile because that feels
• 27:19
  predatory right away, right? And you've been on the receiving
• 27:22
  end, I guarantee you, of people cold reaching out, asking for an
• 27:26
  intro or a recommendation. Yeah, you're like, I don't even
• 27:29
  know you from anybody, right? So it's more about that like
• 27:33
  long term nurturing and just being open and honest about what
• 27:38
  it is that you're looking for so people can put that in the back
• 27:41
  of their mind and help you do the work so you're not doing it
• 27:44
  all alone. Yeah, I like doing that as you
• 27:46
  go to like with the recommendations especially, I
• 27:49
  always find it funny that it's like, OK, and I was guilty of
• 27:52
  this too when I was, you know, switching roles.
• 27:55
  It's like all of a sudden everybody has like, OK, there's
• 27:57
  15 recommendations that just came in last week.
• 27:59
  Well, obviously I did. I wasn't building those
• 28:01
  throughout my career. And so how important are
• 28:03
  recommendations and when should people be asking for them?
• 28:07
  I think it depends on what you're doing.
• 28:09
  For me, as an entrepreneur, I use the LinkedIn recommendations
• 28:13
  feature as my testimonial hub. So anytime I have a new client
• 28:18
  or I do a speaking gig or whatever, sometimes even if I'm
• 28:21
  on a podcast, I'll say, hey, this might feel weird, but would
• 28:25
  you mind throwing me two to three sentences?
• 28:27
  Here's what you could say and I'll send them the link.
• 28:29
  And then it's a home base for anytime anybody has said
• 28:33
  something nice about my work. And I always return the favor.
• 28:37
  If not do it before I even ask just so that it's in there.
• 28:40
  Oh, that's a good. And yeah, yeah, I mean, it's,
• 28:42
  it's the whole like give before you ask for something.
• 28:46
  It just makes people feel a little bit warmer.
• 28:48
  Now, not everybody cares. So you might want to just check
• 28:51
  in be like, I'd be happy to do this for you.
• 28:53
  Is there anything in in particular you'd want me to call
• 28:55
  out or whatever? But I think if you're trying to
• 28:58
  look for a job, the thing that I always started doing, and I'm so
• 29:01
  glad I did this early, early on, was every time I left a company,
• 29:06
  I would reach out to my favorite colleagues, my favorite clients,
• 29:09
  my favorite partners, ask them for a referral and just say,
• 29:13
  hey, I'm moving on to my next gig.
• 29:14
  And before we get too far away from our time together, would
• 29:17
  you mind just encapsulating what you liked about working with me
• 29:21
  or what you thought my skill set was?
• 29:23
  And it serves a couple purposes. One, it's social proof that you
• 29:26
  don't suck and that you're a real person.
• 29:28
  And two, I found that it was an interesting way to learn what I
• 29:32
  was good at because people would point stuff out and I in my
• 29:38
  head, be like, oh, I didn't know that was like a a thing that you
• 29:41
  noticed about me or, you know, we had we're in our heads.
• 29:44
  We don't know what we're good at because we're good at them,
• 29:46
  right. And so it can be really almost
• 29:48
  like an ego boost and also a fact finding mission of the
• 29:52
  things that people value in you as a colleague, Co worker,
• 29:56
  employee, boss, whatever it is. Smart.
• 29:58
  How often are you tending? You mentioned the word tending
• 30:02
  and I you've been on the LinkedIn for 22 years.
• 30:04
  You must have 1000. I don't know.
• 30:07
  Do you have two? Thousand, I have a ton of
• 30:08
  referrals on there. Referrals, but even just
• 30:11
  contacts, right. And so I guess A2 part question
• 30:15
  one, do you have a policy? Do you let do you become do you
• 30:19
  accept every invitation, right? Like I probably get a few a day
• 30:24
  and I'm like, I don't know who you are or do you curate it?
• 30:27
  And it's really just people that you want in your community?
• 30:30
  And then the second thing is once they're in your community,
• 30:33
  after 22 years, in my case, I don't know, 30-40 years, I have
• 30:37
  so many and we talked joked about not having arm muscles.
• 30:41
  I don't have a hippocampus. Like I can't remember anything.
• 30:44
  So how do I remember? Like how I know this person when
• 30:47
  I asked me for an intro? Like what is tending look like
• 30:50
  to you? It's not the whole thing.
• 30:54
  You know, if you think of it in terms of a garden, you're
• 30:57
  probably not tending to the entire garden all the time.
• 31:01
  You're going plot by plot, right?
• 31:03
  And so to answer your first question, I have gone in and out
• 31:07
  of my thoughts on accepting strangers, LinkedIn requests.
• 31:11
  There have been times in my life where I was doing partnerships
• 31:14
  or business development and the more people I knew the better.
• 31:17
  So I would say yes to anybody because their network now
• 31:19
  becomes my network via the second degree connection, which
• 31:23
  I used to sell myself as like, oh, I have over 2,000,000 first
• 31:27
  and second degree connections, which sounds insane, but like
• 31:30
  how many of those are real? So is it actually beneficial?
• 31:34
  I'm in a phase now where when somebody requests to connect
• 31:37
  with me, I do a quick scan of their profile.
• 31:40
  You can pretty much immediately tell if they're about to sell me
• 31:43
  something. The moment I say yes, if it says
• 31:46
  I help entrepreneurs with, I'm like that's a no.
• 31:49
  And so I don't accept those anymore because I have been so
• 31:53
  burned by that. And that bums me out.
• 31:56
  And I almost always accept connection requests from people
• 32:00
  younger than me or women because I'm like, OK, worst case
• 32:03
  scenario, I'll just disconnect from you or whatever they call
• 32:06
  that, remove connection and no harm, no foul.
• 32:10
  But I think that if there is a warm message that comes with it,
• 32:14
  which most people don't take the time to do.
• 32:17
  And to be fair, LinkedIn gives you only so many of those a
• 32:19
  month that you can use, which is quite annoying because it used
• 32:21
  to be free. If they're if they took a second
• 32:24
  to scan my profile, find a little overlap, which is the
• 32:29
  name of my company overlap collective.
• 32:31
  It's all about where. Where do your two circles on the
• 32:33
  Venn diagram of the two of you intersect?
• 32:36
  If they found an overlap with me, spelled my damn name right,
• 32:39
  I don't have an E in my Bailey. So if they spelled my name
• 32:42
  right, I'm immediately like, well, you get bonus points for
• 32:45
  that. So I have, I have this unspoken
• 32:47
  criteria that I run through with connection requests, but I've
• 32:51
  definitely gotten a little bit more specific about who I say
• 32:54
  yes to. And nowadays there's so much
• 32:57
  garbage on there that I just have to be a little bit.
• 32:59
  More. But it's OK in your opinion to
• 33:01
  say yes to someone who you do not necessarily know.
• 33:05
  Yeah, because the whole point isn't all just to get something
• 33:09
  from somebody, right? Some people genuinely might find
• 33:13
  something interesting about your profile or your experience or
• 33:16
  the kind of things that you talk about on there and just want to
• 33:19
  be in your orbit. And I think that's cool.
• 33:21
  And for me talking, going back to people or portals, I get a
• 33:25
  lot of ideas from other people. I get inspired by people's
• 33:30
  posts, by people's work experience.
• 33:32
  And so I'm, I tend to leave myself a little more open to
• 33:36
  that because I'll let them sort of prove me wrong.
• 33:39
  I can always disconnect. Like I said, I try to be more
• 33:43
  generous with my connections than not because people have
• 33:46
  been generous with me through the years.
• 33:48
  And so I try to have good relationship karma.
• 33:51
  Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I mean, I definitely have
• 33:55
  started reaching out more now, Blakely, that we've been doing
• 34:00
  the podcast than I did before that.
• 34:01
  I mean, when I was CEO of Cloud Coach, it was like you said, I
• 34:05
  mean, it was like daily. I mean, it's just the selling
• 34:08
  and the content and the kind of connection and all that.
• 34:09
  So definitely got overwhelmed with that even now being CEO of
• 34:13
  the law firm. Like it's just a different type
• 34:15
  of people now that are, you know, reaching out in that vein.
• 34:17
  But when I go to those connections, I'm looking at like
• 34:21
  first of all the posts that I'm really engaging with or someone
• 34:25
  really says something like if even if I don't know them yet,
• 34:27
  I'm like, hey, I really found that impactful.
• 34:29
  Thank you for doing that. Maybe just as an initial
• 34:31
  comment. And then if I see another one, I
• 34:32
  might actually want to try to connect with them just because I
• 34:35
  feel like we're in that same world or season of life or
• 34:38
  whatever it is. So I've been on the, I've asked
• 34:40
  strangers to connect before. Just being interesting, a
• 34:43
  synergy, which is one of my favorite business words.
• 34:47
  Last week she hated that we said synergy.
• 34:50
  Not. Hated.
• 34:51
  I sorry, I just want to apologize for all the people
• 34:53
  that say synergy all the time and just.
• 34:56
  We do. People do say it's not a
• 34:57
  horrible word it. Was I got anba specifically so I
• 35:01
  could say words like synergy? OK, OK.
• 35:04
  That's that. Just robs me wrong.
• 35:05
  OK, we have a quick acronym checkpoint.
• 35:08
  Heather, what's COO means? Oh, she no, people know that
• 35:13
  Chief Operating officer, OK. Thank you.
• 35:16
  You're welcome, buddy. What's?
• 35:17
  An MBA. Masters in Business
• 35:20
  Administration, thank. You.
• 35:21
  There we go, there we go. Hey Kaylee got on LinkedIn when
• 35:25
  she was two years old. OK but there might be 6 year
• 35:28
  olds right now listening that don't know what ACO is.
• 35:31
  Or an MBA, to be fair to Clay, I do get, I do forget that there
• 35:37
  are so many people that are just not mired in, you know, the
• 35:40
  LinkedIn nonsense bullshit of of acronym.
• 35:43
  So fair, Clay, we'll let you pass this one.
• 35:45
  Time. But we're not going to let him
• 35:46
  pass on not being on LinkedIn, right?
• 35:48
  I mean, he's a successful producer, I feel like.
• 35:51
  I don't know what the point is for Clay, like, and I'm going to
• 35:54
  take Clay's side on this like because you don't want to.
• 35:56
  It's another yes. It's another platform that you
• 36:00
  curate, you have to maintain. He's already been poached 1000
• 36:04
  times on our show, so do we really want him out there?
• 36:07
  He's obviously successful. He has more leads than he can
• 36:10
  like manage. I guess the you know what Clay
• 36:13
  could be your give. Back how much?
• 36:15
  How much would it piss you off if I added that little circle
• 36:18
  that says I'm open to work? Honestly, that feels like such a
• 36:25
  repellent to me. That feels like a neon sign that
• 36:29
  says I want something. I want something and it's not
• 36:33
  fair. That's not fair to think about,
• 36:35
  right? That, I think, is the
• 36:37
  overwhelming. Perception.
• 36:38
  It comes off desperate. It comes off desperate, doesn't
• 36:40
  it? It's like everything else.
• 36:42
  Doesn't right that like I'm hiring, that doesn't come off
• 36:45
  repellent. That's like, Oh no.
• 36:46
  Because you're in the power. Want to be reached out to?
• 36:49
  That's a neon sign for people to to reach out asking for work.
• 36:52
  So it just I think with being on LinkedIn, what are you there
• 36:55
  for? What are you trying to achieve
• 36:56
  in your career right now? And you know, Heather said,
• 36:59
  like, maybe that's your give back platform, right?
• 37:02
  Maybe you're on there sharing your wisdom as a podcast
• 37:05
  producer. Maybe you're posting once a
• 37:07
  month. Who cares about what you've seen
• 37:10
  in industry trends with your like?
• 37:13
  People also use LinkedIn a lot now as a thought leadership
• 37:15
  platform and to a nauseating degree, let's be honest.
• 37:19
  But there is still a lot of really interesting perspectives
• 37:23
  that you can find there. And so again, it just depends,
• 37:26
  what are you trying to do right now?
• 37:28
  Are you trying to get a new job? Are you trying to give back?
• 37:30
  Are you trying to connect with people?
• 37:31
  Are you trying to, you know, grow your LinkedIn or your
• 37:34
  thought leadership practice? There is a purpose to it.
• 37:38
  Don't be there just to be there, because that's silly.
• 37:41
  So Bailey, do you also consult on in person human connection?
• 37:46
  So I, I've already like jotted down a few tips about LinkedIn,
• 37:50
  but Heather and I have this like big networking event coming up
• 37:54
  and you would think I would be really comfortable in that
• 37:58
  arena. I've had to public speak my
• 37:59
  whole life, I've had to lead teams, all this stuff.
• 38:01
  But I am terrified of walking into a room where I don't know
• 38:06
  anyone. You are.
• 38:07
  Done it a lot. Gosh, yeah.
• 38:10
  I mean, I fake it. You know who's not really me?
• 38:13
  My husband. Oh yeah, we.
• 38:15
  Go to like these donor events at the basketball games and he'll
• 38:18
  be like, oh, I'm going to go meet the chancellor.
• 38:20
  And I'm like, we don't need to meet the chancellor.
• 38:23
  Like I'm going to go talk to that player.
• 38:25
  We sat next to her once. I'm like, don't, we don't need
• 38:27
  to talk. She's like warming.
• 38:29
  Up do you know what he has? He doesn't he doesn't care what
• 38:32
  they think of him. He.
• 38:33
  Could give. That's huge.
• 38:35
  Ass he doesn't. Care at.
• 38:37
  All. I do, we have an event, it's
• 38:41
  coming up. I would like to widen my network
• 38:45
  with like minded women in the profession.
• 38:48
  How do I do it? Bailey, what do I do?
• 38:50
  At the cocktail party at the event, you're asking
• 38:53
  specifically. OK.
• 38:54
  Yeah, yeah. OK, first know that you feel
• 38:57
  like most people feel. And I think if you can just
• 39:00
  reframe the especially women, men, my husband has the
• 39:04
  confidence of 1000 Suns. I don't know, like there's just,
• 39:09
  it's a different perspective, right?
• 39:10
  And so when I go into a networking event, I remember
• 39:14
  first and foremost that most people don't actually want to do
• 39:17
  it. Most people are feeling the
• 39:19
  exact same way as me. And so if you can put yourself
• 39:22
  in the same headspace as them, you kind of become on the same
• 39:25
  team. OK, so that's one thing.
• 39:27
  The other trick I use is I think what if my future best friend is
• 39:33
  in this room and this is the night we meet?
• 39:35
  I want a future best friend. Right.
• 39:38
  What if this is the night I meet somebody awkward?
• 39:44
  What if this is the night that you meet somebody that goes on
• 39:47
  to be an important person in your life in some way that
• 39:52
  introduces you to somebody that da da, da da da, right?
• 39:55
  So if you go in believing that, OK, this is a fact finding
• 39:59
  mission, this is not a introduction thing.
• 40:01
  This is a hi, are you my future best friend?
• 40:04
  Are you my future best friend? So you go in almost in like this
• 40:07
  interview capacity. But likely you're not saying
• 40:10
  that though. Just to be clear.
• 40:12
  OK, you're not. You don't actually stay in
• 40:14
  there. In my head.
• 40:14
  Put that in your head. It will be.
• 40:16
  Weird. Yeah, that is an inside thought.
• 40:19
  As I tell my 6 1/2 year old son, you need a bouncer that sits in
• 40:23
  your mouth and keeps all the thoughts that need to stay in
• 40:26
  your brain in your head, but they're not all meant to come
• 40:29
  out. So you go in with this
• 40:32
  perspective. We all do.
• 40:34
  You go in with the perspective of, OK, I need to figure out if
• 40:37
  she's here, So what are you going to do?
• 40:39
  Not introduce yourself? What a waste.
• 40:41
  What if she leaves and you don't even say hi?
• 40:43
  So a lot of it comes back to this deep fear of vulnerability,
• 40:47
  right? Nobody likes being vulnerable.
• 40:49
  Nobody, nobody. I've never met a person that's
• 40:52
  like even the ones that are into deep conversations, which I very
• 40:55
  much am, there's still a lot of fear about being rejected if you
• 41:00
  share too much and if you're too honest or if you share something
• 41:04
  and it doesn't resonate with the person you share it with.
• 41:06
  But here's the flip side of that.
• 41:08
  You also might meet somebody that immediately lights up at
• 41:13
  the thing you share. And suddenly there's a
• 41:15
  connection point and you find something in your overlap on the
• 41:19
  Venn diagram between you and them.
• 41:21
  And that is where that seed is just planted in the dirt.
• 41:25
  And then you get to decide, am I going to water this after this
• 41:28
  event? Am I going to reach out and say,
• 41:30
  hey, it was really nice talking to you about our mutual love of
• 41:34
  women's soccer. Would you ever want to get
• 41:36
  coffee or would you ever want to to do a Zoom call so we can kind
• 41:39
  of dig into what we each are actually doing in our careers or
• 41:43
  see if we can help each other in any way or even just say I just
• 41:47
  really liked you. Do you wanna be friends?
• 41:49
  I have said this as a full grown adult.
• 41:52
  Yeah. Do you wanna be friend?
• 41:53
  Friends, like, I will say like that this is weird, but do you
• 41:57
  want to be friends with me? And the other person is their
• 42:00
  face just melts. They're always like, yeah, I do,
• 42:05
  right? And so this my 6 year old son,
• 42:07
  yesterday, I picked him up from school and this little girl was
• 42:10
  just walking by and he looks at her and he goes, hey, do you
• 42:14
  want to be friends? And she goes, yeah.
• 42:16
  And he goes, OK, bye. See you tomorrow.
• 42:19
  And that was it and. I was like it can be that easy.
• 42:22
  At 1:00, at one stage in our life, it was because we at some
• 42:26
  point we became so self absorbed and insecure or just so worried
• 42:31
  what the other people were going to think of us and.
• 42:34
  We've been rejected. We've been rejected and we don't
• 42:36
  like that feeling. So if we can't walk up, so OK,
• 42:39
  so Blakely and I arrive. We obviously divide and conquer
• 42:42
  because that's the smart business thing to.
• 42:43
  Do. You don't have to right away
• 42:45
  though. No, don't have to, Heather.
• 42:46
  Don't you dare abandon. E Wing.
• 42:50
  I said Wing. I said that just to make you
• 42:53
  mad. I'm totally joking.
• 42:56
  I know you wouldn't like that. And a partner work out at the
• 42:58
  gym. He's like, I have a different
• 43:00
  partner today. I'm like, what am I gonna like?
• 43:02
  Abandonment. That sounds like you guys should
• 43:05
  talk about that. But anyway, so when we so we're
• 43:09
  in this room, there's a hundred very powerful these all these
• 43:14
  are founders or they're seeking VC.
• 43:16
  It's AVC event. We're going to go in there.
• 43:18
  There's a few people that are already talking to each other.
• 43:21
  We need to like bust into the circle.
• 43:23
  What do we say? Everybody knows that it's
• 43:26
  awkward when you're at an event. And first of all, if you're in a
• 43:29
  circle, open it up and make it a you.
• 43:32
  Yeah, make it a horseshoe. Yeah, we are not.
• 43:35
  Great conversation. Great advice.
• 43:38
  We are being girls, girls here. We are literally like, come in.
• 43:43
  And you know, if you're at an event, everybody's been on both
• 43:45
  sides of that. And it can be easy to be like,
• 43:48
  all right, well, I'm already in conversation.
• 43:49
  Look, I did the thing. I networked.
• 43:51
  I don't have to keep talking to new people.
• 43:53
  I already found some people that I don't hate talking to.
• 43:56
  But remember why you came. Why are you there?
• 43:58
  Are you there to meet one person?
• 44:00
  And you met one person, then great, go home.
• 44:02
  Are you there to actually meet as many people as you can and do
• 44:06
  a little fact finding mission to find your future bestie or
• 44:09
  collaborator or colleague? Then actually do the thing
• 44:12
  right? Don't have regrets.
• 44:13
  You already got dressed. You probably put on a bra and
• 44:16
  drove and maybe even paid for parking.
• 44:17
  Like make them. I said probably you don't.
• 44:20
  Have fifty chance, Yeah. But yeah, I hear what you're
• 44:23
  saying. Live your life, you know, let
• 44:25
  the girls free, but yeah, and don't abandoned each other.
• 44:28
  And here's the other thing I will say about that.
• 44:30
  We are not always good at hyping ourselves up.
• 44:33
  Most of us are bad at it, but we were really good at hyping our
• 44:35
  friends out. Yes.
• 44:36
  Totally. What you can do is be like, oh,
• 44:39
  hi, I'm Bailey. This is my friend Heather.
• 44:42
  Who are you? Tell us about you like you can
• 44:44
  kind of tag team it. And then if they're talking and
• 44:47
  you hear something that you're like, wait, Blakely's Blakely
• 44:50
  has a thing. You can be like, Oh my gosh,
• 44:52
  Blakely, don't you Also? Blah blah blah blah blah.
• 44:55
  And so basically you're opening a little window for them to
• 44:58
  crawl through and be like, actually, yeah, tell let me
• 45:00
  share my thing. So so be good.
• 45:02
  Be OK, so, so OK, so we walk up to the circle.
• 45:06
  Let's say in this example, there's not you are not in the
• 45:09
  circle, Bailey, sad for us. You are not there.
• 45:11
  So they're not really noticing or opening it up to say, hey,
• 45:14
  come join us. They're just deep in
• 45:15
  conversation. It it's it feels rude to
• 45:19
  interrupt their conversation, but then it's kind of awkward
• 45:21
  just kind of standing there. So let's say in this example
• 45:25
  we're just one just we're by ourselves because it's obviously
• 45:27
  Blakely and I could just stand there and talk to each other.
• 45:29
  But if it's just me, how do you get in there?
• 45:33
  Do you kind of nudge your way and just kind of stand there and
• 45:35
  wait to enter the conversation based on that common?
• 45:39
  Oh, I've I've done that. Or.
• 45:42
  I think it depends. If you see somebody specific
• 45:45
  that you really want to talk to and that's why you're entering
• 45:49
  that circle, then you kind of wait for an intro, right?
• 45:53
  You kind of just like stand near, make eye contact with
• 45:56
  somebody or multiple people, and if they don't open up the circle
• 46:00
  and say hi, come on in, come on, get somewhere else.
• 46:03
  Yeah, yeah. Like go where you feel wanted,
• 46:07
  go where you sit. Like take an intro if there's an
• 46:09
  intro. And the other trick, really look
• 46:12
  around the room. I guarantee you there are people
• 46:15
  awkwardly standing there, like stirring their drink or just
• 46:19
  kind of checking their phone. And look for the people that you
• 46:22
  can tell are also there to do what you're there to do.
• 46:25
  And maybe could just use a little warmth and a little
• 46:28
  assist. Be on the same team as them.
• 46:30
  You can even. I like opening up with something
• 46:33
  like, hey, man, this is not my favorite thing to do.
• 46:37
  I'm not a big fan of networking events.
• 46:39
  Why are you here? Like, what's up?
• 46:41
  Be honest. Yeah, yeah.
• 46:42
  Be honest and say, oh, God, this kind of stuff makes me itchy.
• 46:47
  I don't love it, but here we are.
• 46:49
  I'm Bailey. Who are you?
• 46:50
  And then it makes them feel like, OK, she's a safe person, I
• 46:54
  can be real with her. And then you're already on the
• 46:57
  same mental headspace. And then you just sort of warm
• 47:00
  it up from there. I like that because I hate, I
• 47:03
  hate chitchat, I hate nonsense conversation.
• 47:06
  I hate you. What do you do?
• 47:07
  What do you do? It's so boring.
• 47:11
  Why are you here? Is a great intro.
• 47:13
  Why are Why do you come tonight? I like that.
• 47:15
  I like that. They don't have to tell you
• 47:17
  anything about their job if they don't want to.
• 47:19
  No, that's a really good one. And then it also gives you a way
• 47:23
  to immediately try and assist them in that quest, right?
• 47:27
  If you think of like, I came to this networking event because
• 47:30
  I'm trying to meet people who know VCs that might fund my
• 47:33
  company, right? If you open it up with why'd you
• 47:36
  come tonight? What are you here for?
• 47:37
  And I say, oh, I'm actually the founder of this company and I'm
• 47:40
  looking for VC investment. And I feel super uncomfortable
• 47:43
  because I don't like asking for money and I don't like pitching
• 47:46
  myself, but I'm here so I know what I do, right?
• 47:50
  It's like just be a person. Be a person.
• 47:52
  And how do you get out of a conversation that is going South
• 47:55
  and you're just like not? Even necessarily going South,
• 47:59
  like sometimes it's run its course.
• 48:01
  Yeah, It's run its course. There's 400 people in the room.
• 48:03
  You've only met 2. Your goal is more, right?
• 48:06
  How? Yeah.
• 48:07
  How do you move on? Blame it on the bladder.
• 48:10
  All you got to do is say, you know what?
• 48:13
  I really have to go pee. I'm going to go find the
• 48:14
  bathroom. I'll see you in a little bit.
• 48:16
  Also factual, but also likely true. 9 times and then yeah,
• 48:21
  that's true. It's unlikely they're going to
• 48:23
  like follow you to see if you actually don't really talk to
• 48:26
  you. You know, it's fine.
• 48:28
  Like you can weasel your way out or you can be like, OK, it was
• 48:32
  so good to meet you. I'm going to follow up via
• 48:33
  e-mail next week. I'm going to go see if I can
• 48:35
  meet some other cool people. Make it like that.
• 48:39
  Don't make it weird. Yeah, or bring them with you,
• 48:42
  right? Like how should we find another
• 48:44
  person to meet right together, right?
• 48:47
  Yeah, be on the same team. I think that's the whole thing.
• 48:50
  It's seek the overlap, be on the same team level with them.
• 48:53
  Like make them feel like you are a safe person who is warm and
• 48:57
  welcoming and just a human being that they can connect with.
• 49:01
  So again, I go back to the fact that I have zero to little
• 49:05
  memory. What do you do now that or let
• 49:09
  me ask you, are business cards still a thing?
• 49:11
  I don't think they're a thing anymore.
• 49:12
  More so, what do you do if business cards aren't a thing?
• 49:14
  How am I remembering the name of the person I just met?
• 49:18
  Am I bringing a notebook? What tricks?
• 49:21
  You know, you could, I think it depends upon your, your
• 49:25
  preferred method of connection. So if you are on LinkedIn,
• 49:29
  right, you can say, hey, are can we make this LinkedIn official?
• 49:32
  Like are you on there? A lot of people might be like,
• 49:35
  oh, I never go on there. I think I have a profile, but I
• 49:37
  haven't logged in in years. Great.
• 49:38
  Don't bother connecting with them on LinkedIn.
• 49:41
  People all have e-mail. Some people's inboxes, though,
• 49:43
  are insane, like my husband, who has ungodly amounts of unread
• 49:48
  emails that makes me want to die.
• 49:49
  I have a zero inbox policy, but I have problems.
• 49:52
  So you just figure out like, you know, I'd love to keep in touch.
• 49:56
  What's the best way to do that for you?
• 49:59
  Some people might straight up want to give you their phone
• 50:01
  number. I don't know, it's not me, but
• 50:03
  you have a million different ways.
• 50:04
  There are QR codes that link to your LinkedIn or link to your
• 50:09
  website or your link tree or your contact card.
• 50:12
  It really just depends on what is the form that you are going
• 50:15
  to be comfortable using over and over.
• 50:17
  And then meet them where they are.
• 50:19
  Say, I'd love to just let's, I'm going to just send you an e-mail
• 50:22
  right now. Will you type in your e-mail to,
• 50:24
  you know, open up a, a, a new e-mail on your phone and just
• 50:28
  have them type in there and their e-mail and do a subject
• 50:31
  line of great to meet you at whatever the event was.
• 50:34
  Save it to your drafts. And then later that night when
• 50:37
  you get home or the next day before you let too much time
• 50:41
  pass, send like A to sentence e-mail that just says, hey, I
• 50:45
  really enjoyed our conversation about X.
• 50:47
  If you'd ever like to have another call, here's my link to
• 50:50
  schedule, you know, a virtual coffee chat.
• 50:52
  Or if you're in the same town and you mentioned like, oh, I
• 50:55
  love walking through this particular neighborhood.
• 50:57
  Feel like, do you ever want to do like a walk together?
• 51:00
  Why not just be a person? This is when I really miss
• 51:04
  business cards. I would collect them.
• 51:06
  I would write follow up or no follow up and I would write one
• 51:09
  word that would like bring me back to the conversation to do
• 51:11
  exactly what you just said. Like, here's my e-mail, here's
• 51:14
  my follow up. And I just feel so naked not
• 51:17
  having that crutch anymore with the, like, the disappearance of
• 51:21
  business cards. And so, yeah.
• 51:23
  I love a business card too. It is.
• 51:24
  Nice, I do love it. It's not.
• 51:26
  Really. But he has them.
• 51:27
  Though yeah I think has them. I always go in with my LinkedIn
• 51:31
  QR code already pulled up first instead of trying to do.
• 51:34
  That no LinkedIn had QR codes. I don't know what y'all Yeah.
• 51:37
  So what you do is you just open up LinkedIn, you go into the
• 51:40
  very top line. There's a search bar where you
• 51:42
  would type Heather my name, right?
• 51:44
  Instead of doing that, there's a small little QR code symbol.
• 51:48
  You click on that and it pulls up Blakely Graham in your QR
• 51:52
  code. And so it's there in seconds.
• 51:54
  Yeah. And then you just here's the
• 51:56
  downside of that, though, that I found it doesn't look it up.
• 51:59
  It doesn't. Well, you can, you can go to
• 52:02
  their profile, but it the, the natural setting there is to
• 52:06
  follow somebody, not connect with somebody.
• 52:10
  And so I always say to people, give me your LinkedIn QR code or
• 52:15
  let me find you on it so that I can then connect with them or
• 52:18
  request a connection as opposed to just following because it
• 52:21
  doesn't always tell you when somebody's following you.
• 52:24
  So you might think, oh man, they never, they never connected with
• 52:27
  me. That's a bummer.
• 52:28
  But they did. They just followed you instead,
• 52:30
  which is not a connection. So again, it LinkedIn has a long
• 52:33
  time ago to be actually useful, but whatever you're gonna do, do
• 52:37
  something that you're comfortable with because the
• 52:39
  last thing you want to do is be like, Oh yeah, let me hold on.
• 52:43
  I think there's like this thing on LinkedIn that you can use
• 52:45
  that's like a QR code. Let me just and then it gets
• 52:48
  weird. So just what I do, Heather, for
• 52:50
  that is I will screenshot or save the whole little QR code
• 52:54
  thing and I'll make it my phone background for that night.
• 52:57
  Yeah, you could do. That all I got it in your
• 52:59
  photos. Hold it up.
• 53:00
  Yep, Yep. Have it in your photos and then
• 53:02
  it's right there. And on the followers too,
• 53:04
  they'll go back and say like, so and so is following you and
• 53:06
  invites you to connect. And then, but what I try to do
• 53:10
  if I have a few minutes in that moment is just send them a
• 53:12
  message right then. So great to meet you like, and
• 53:14
  then that way I at least can go back because you can track your
• 53:17
  messages of who you sent a message to.
• 53:19
  But to Bailey's point, if you don't have that, then it's hard
• 53:21
  to go find who you met that day. Yep.
• 53:24
  My question for you, Bailey, is for these recent grads and more
• 53:28
  specifically, like these high schoolers going into college.
• 53:32
  Like what are the couple? I mean, LinkedIn is foreign to
• 53:36
  them. They don't even know what e-mail
• 53:37
  is, to be honest. What are the like one to two
• 53:41
  things they should be doing? So by the time they graduate
• 53:44
  from college, they are ready for this market, which is a tough
• 53:48
  market. Definitely connect with your
• 53:52
  classmates, right? Like these people will
• 53:55
  eventually be important people, which is wild to think about.
• 53:58
  And I find that. So I went to University of
• 54:01
  Florida for undergrad in like the years where we were very
• 54:04
  good at football and basketball and there's a 50,000 students a
• 54:09
  year or something crazy like that.
• 54:10
  So it's highly unlikely I actually know anybody from my
• 54:13
  graduating class beyond the people I was in class with.
• 54:15
  But I was in this freshman leadership council my freshman
• 54:19
  year and it was all the overachievers.
• 54:21
  It was all, you know, the Type A's of our freshman class.
• 54:24
  And now these people are like big deals, right?
• 54:28
  Because we're doing movies and they're finally moving up in the
• 54:31
  rings. They're at the.
• 54:32
  Pinnacle of their career. They're they're doing it right.
• 54:35
  And so I get such a kick out of looking through like who my
• 54:39
  college connections are now and thinking, I saw you do a keg
• 54:44
  scan and a skirt. Like, I know you.
• 54:48
  OK. We went to the Florida Georgia
• 54:50
  game together. I have a lot of blackmail.
• 54:53
  But, you know, so I think it's important to connect while
• 54:56
  you're still in the same zone because the people that you come
• 54:58
  up with will eventually know people have influence and power
• 55:03
  and be able to open doors for you.
• 55:04
  And they're so much more likely to because they've known you and
• 55:08
  you've known them long before you or anybody.
• 55:10
  And so whether that's in corporate America or
• 55:12
  entrepreneurship or even just friendships, connect with people
• 55:15
  along the way. I think that's kind of the key.
• 55:18
  Take away with the referrals to connect with people.
• 55:21
  Ask for those referrals when the moment is still warm and you're
• 55:25
  still in it together before you start forgetting who the heck
• 55:28
  they are and how you know them. And so for college students, you
• 55:31
  know, connect with all of them. I don't know where you're going
• 55:34
  to connect if not LinkedIn. I don't speak Gen.
• 55:37
  Z or Gen. Alpha or whoever the heck are
• 55:38
  graduating high school right now, but you got to have some
• 55:42
  way, right? Whether that is just getting
• 55:44
  their number and putting them in a particular list in your phone,
• 55:47
  but start getting to know these people and kind of locking them
• 55:49
  into your connections or your contacts early on.
• 55:52
  And then the other really good tip for college students is
• 55:55
  attend events. Like go to events in the
• 55:58
  industry in which you want to join.
• 56:01
  And then don't be afraid to kind of fish out of your league a
• 56:06
  little bit because most kind people who are older than you
• 56:12
  are going to look at a 19 year old and be like, of course, of
• 56:15
  course, I'll I'll take a coffee with you.
• 56:17
  Or like I will happily. You want to turn around and give
• 56:20
  back to the people behind you, right?
• 56:22
  And so I have. Like so many of these coffees,
• 56:25
  like you just want to help them, Yeah.
• 56:27
  Yeah. And so take advantage of that.
• 56:29
  Take advantage of the fact that people are willing to give you
• 56:33
  more time than they're going to be willing to give a 30 year
• 56:34
  old, you know? Yeah, yeah.
• 56:37
  This is so helpful and I love it love it love it that you gave so
• 56:41
  much practical advice. Somebody could listen to this
• 56:44
  episode and go out immediately and change the way.
• 56:46
  Well, we will next week when we go Blakely like we.
• 56:48
  Know I want to report that. Put these into action.
• 56:51
  Yeah, no, this is fantastic. And from the very start, what
• 56:55
  you said, you know people are portals and and not defining it
• 57:00
  in a way like don't write anyone off in your life.
• 57:03
  You never know who you're gonna meet and who they know and how
• 57:06
  that could come back 5-10 years later.
• 57:08
  Be kind, be open, be aware of the other people around you at
• 57:13
  these events. Invite them in.
• 57:15
  Fake it till you make it. If you're uncomfortable, pretend
• 57:17
  you're not and help someone who obviously is uncomfortable and
• 57:20
  maybe that helps people. Find the person more
• 57:22
  uncomfortable than. You, yeah.
• 57:23
  And then they're a hero to them. It's.
• 57:25
  Like a little game, right? Is all a game.
• 57:28
  Whatever you got to do to convince yourself to get out
• 57:30
  there and be vulnerable, do it because it's worth it.
• 57:33
  It's so good. Thank you for taking time with
• 57:35
  us, Bailey. We really, really appreciate it.
• 57:37
  Before we let you go for having me, we want to ask you one final
• 57:40
  question and we also answer it ourselves, which is what brought
• 57:44
  a smile to your face this week. Oh my gosh, there's so much to
• 57:48
  not smile about currently. And because of that, I have been
• 57:54
  desperately looking for the glimmers, right?
• 57:57
  Looking for the awe, looking for the joy.
• 57:59
  And just this morning, I went on a walk, which always puts me in
• 58:03
  so much of A better headspace. I walk around my neighborhood
• 58:06
  and it is January in LA, which is actually one of the best
• 58:10
  months in this city. Not for nothing, it's like 80°
• 58:14
  outside right now. And I'm so sorry.
• 58:15
  Everybody else, I know, I'm so sorry.
• 58:17
  I don't play. I know, I'm so sorry, I'm so
• 58:19
  sorry. I know.
• 58:20
  Take it, I take it back. But because of that, he's like,
• 58:23
  wrap it up, get her out of here. Because of that, I'm so deep in
• 58:28
  gratitude for how gorgeous it is.
• 58:31
  And new plants and trees are bursting right now.
• 58:35
  And so I'm the nerd that walks through my neighborhood taking
• 58:38
  pictures of the flowers and the trees in the sky because it's
• 58:42
  like, OK, things may be going to shit, but like, look at this.
• 58:45
  Freaking tree. Like what?
• 58:48
  This tree doesn't care or even know what's happening and it's
• 58:51
  going to be here after all of it's over.
• 58:54
  So that gives me a sense of ground in and like little bits
• 58:57
  of. Awe, I love that.
• 58:59
  It's powerful. God, Nature's so powerful that
• 59:01
  way. It's so good.
• 59:02
  Thank God for nature. So good.
• 59:04
  Protect her at all costs. Clay, are you really thankful
• 59:07
  for nature right now? Yeah.
• 59:09
  Actually, mine is about nature, kind of so.
• 59:12
  OK, go by. So yeah, so Bailey, we're in.
• 59:16
  I live in Detroit and we're in a polar vortex right now, which
• 59:19
  means this past week it was -11 like, not the feel temperature
• 59:25
  like it was. Actually the real temperature.
• 59:29
  So. So.
• 59:31
  Sorry so this week we we got a ton of snow and my son is on
• 59:36
  currently on his 7th day missing school because of snow ice.
• 59:40
  God bless you. So sorry.
• 59:43
  My God. But but one day I was like, hey,
• 59:48
  I got a shovel. But like, let's go outside.
• 59:51
  So bundle up, you know, both of us go outside and like slowly,
• 59:55
  like some like neighborhood kids started coming over and then all
• 59:57
  of a sudden there was a snowball fight.
• 59:59
  And like, I forgot that I was like 36 and I was like, I
• 1:00:05
  thought I was 6 again. And like I went to bed that
• 1:00:08
  night because we just basically just like threw snowballs,
• 1:00:11
  dumped tons of snow on each other.
• 1:00:13
  Just I got hurt. Anyway, so I go to bed that
• 1:00:16
  night. My back is so sore, but I was
• 1:00:18
  smiling pretty big because my son got to have a snowball fight
• 1:00:21
  with like neighborhood kids and like, it was just the best.
• 1:00:23
  Magical. Yeah, it was fun.
• 1:00:26
  That's like a core memory he's gonna have forever now, yeah.
• 1:00:29
  Yeah, he will. I remember those snow days,
• 1:00:33
  building igloos. Oh my gosh, We had so much fun.
• 1:00:35
  Yeah. Guys, I'm a Floridian so this is
• 1:00:38
  all confusing, OK? Not speaking your language.
• 1:00:43
  Well, I found a time capsule this week.
• 1:00:47
  So I found a banker's box. We're like cleaning out the
• 1:00:50
  garage. And it was all the contents from
• 1:00:54
  my desk when I was running task Ray and I had left kind of
• 1:01:00
  during COVID. So someone packed up my desk for
• 1:01:03
  me and I had never opened it. So we sold the company and what,
• 1:01:08
  21 and it's 26 now. I'm not going to show you
• 1:01:12
  everything, but like I have to show you a couple of things.
• 1:01:15
  Is your burn buck in there? Yeah, I found.
• 1:01:19
  No, it's Heather. It wasn't.
• 1:01:22
  So that's interesting. I didn't think about that.
• 1:01:27
  It was in the locked drawer. So I wonder if it's just still
• 1:01:30
  in the dust somewhere and it got resold.
• 1:01:34
  That's interesting. No, I found this like Cabinet
• 1:01:36
  Knob, which my VP of sales gave to me and his first presentation
• 1:01:40
  to me. It's a really good story.
• 1:01:41
  I'm going to share it someday. I found my 10 year anniversary
• 1:01:45
  app exchange photo with my business partner Eric Wu.
• 1:01:48
  Love you, Eric. But then here's the best My kids
• 1:01:51
  would provide all the artwork for my cubicle.
• 1:01:54
  And my daughter, I don't know, she's 578.
• 1:01:56
  I have no idea how old she is, but she was really into the
• 1:01:59
  thing where she takes someone's name and she makes attributes
• 1:02:03
  for it. And so she wrote Blakely.
• 1:02:06
  And it's B bold as a woman, L loving, a athletic mother, K
• 1:02:13
  kind as a Kitty. Wow, I know.
• 1:02:17
  E Every smile makes the world happy.
• 1:02:20
  L Liking all your friends. Why you are remembering?
• 1:02:27
  Not really sure what that one means, but it.
• 1:02:28
  Feels. You remember stuff, you're
• 1:02:32
  remembering Curry. I remember shit.
• 1:02:35
  I was going to say, oh. Sweet, I know.
• 1:02:39
  So I'm going. To what a good.
• 1:02:41
  Girl going to put it up. She's a good girl.
• 1:02:43
  She still is a good girl. She's the bestest.
• 1:02:46
  How's my style? That's.
• 1:02:48
  A good one. These are my kids artwork behind
• 1:02:49
  me up there. It's the best.
• 1:02:51
  It's just so. It's actually just legit.
• 1:02:54
  Looks really good. I wouldn't have known if you
• 1:02:56
  didn't say that. Those are really beautiful
• 1:02:57
  paintings. I thought so, but you know, I'm
• 1:03:00
  a little biased. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:03:02
  What about you, Heather Smiley? Yeah, well, I like Bailey.
• 1:03:09
  Like yeah, it's it was I don't really usually get into the news
• 1:03:15
  and I really, I actively don't watch it on purpose.
• 1:03:18
  I it's just the negative energy that it brings.
• 1:03:20
  So like, I'll scoop in once in a while, but I went down a rabbit
• 1:03:25
  hole this week with everything. It's just, I just, I, I don't
• 1:03:29
  know, I was pretty, pretty bummed about stuff.
• 1:03:33
  And I don't really even post stuff usually either.
• 1:03:36
  Like I just don't really get political about it.
• 1:03:37
  And I just kind of keep my feelings to myself.
• 1:03:40
  But I did post something last week on my story just about, you
• 1:03:46
  know, can't we all just get along?
• 1:03:47
  Like you voted, you voted. I voted.
• 1:03:49
  Oh, I did. Can we all agree that, you know,
• 1:03:51
  murder is wrong? Like is there, is there like
• 1:03:53
  some like level where we can just kind of?
• 1:03:55
  Feels like that should be an easy yeah.
• 1:03:57
  Like, I mean, let's not get crazy about, you know,
• 1:04:00
  everything, but like, can we just is there a baseline here
• 1:04:02
  where we can just like as humans kind of come back?
• 1:04:05
  And this is some of the messages that people sent just like,
• 1:04:09
  thank you. And it was just really kind.
• 1:04:11
  And I, and it made me smile in my heart to just be like, you
• 1:04:14
  know, everything that we see is happening is real that, you
• 1:04:19
  know, like not to take away from that, but what we don't see is
• 1:04:22
  kind of the flip side of that. And we need to remember Bryan
• 1:04:26
  Coral posted that thing with Mr. Rogers.
• 1:04:28
  I don't know if you saw a Clay mutual friend of ours about how
• 1:04:32
  Mr. Rogers and he was growing up, his mom would say in every
• 1:04:36
  tragedy that you see on TV, always look in the background
• 1:04:40
  for the helpers. Because around every tragedy,
• 1:04:44
  there's going to be a fireman or there's going to be a policeman
• 1:04:47
  or there's going to be not a good example for last week with
• 1:04:51
  all the security officers. But there's there's helpers out
• 1:04:54
  there. There's people who are helping.
• 1:04:56
  In that case, there's a man helping another woman on the
• 1:04:58
  street. And she said, focus on that,
• 1:05:01
  focus on the helpers. And therein lies the hope.
• 1:05:04
  And it was just beautiful reminder of like, as we're going
• 1:05:07
  through all this stuff, most people are good, most people are
• 1:05:11
  wanting peace, most people are wanting help.
• 1:05:13
  So that was mine. It's a good one to end on this
• 1:05:17
  week. Yeah, this was awesome.
• 1:05:20
  Thank you, Bailey, so much. Really.
• 1:05:22
  I have so fun. One final question, Will you be
• 1:05:25
  my friend? Friend.
• 1:05:28
  I would be honored. Oh my gosh.
• 1:05:30
  Yes. Can we all be friends?
• 1:05:33
  Oh, thank you. For see how she did that.
• 1:05:36
  Yeah, well, you know, you're all pretty cool.
• 1:05:39
  Yeah. Yeah, I would love to, yeah.
• 1:05:42
  Baby, it was so great connecting with you.
• 1:05:44
  I was just wondering, you know, where can our listeners connect
• 1:05:48
  with you further? What's the best way to stay in
• 1:05:51
  contact with you and follow up if they want to know more or be
• 1:05:56
  involved in what you're involved?
• 1:05:57
  In. Please do.
• 1:05:59
  The easiest place to go to is my website, overlapcollective.com,
• 1:06:04
  because nobody spells Bailey, right?
• 1:06:06
  So if you go there, you'll be able to find my LinkedIn and my
• 1:06:08
  Instagram and all the things my sub stack.
• 1:06:10
  And you'll be able to sort of dig into the actual work I do as
• 1:06:13
  a workshop facilitator, connection strategist, executive
• 1:06:16
  leadership coach, and all of the good stuff that I'm I'm
• 1:06:19
  constantly trying to put out in the world because yeah, I think
• 1:06:22
  connection is the thing that we're missing.
• 1:06:24
  I really feel like it's the key to solving almost any problem.
• 1:06:27
  So I believe deeply in the power of it.
• 1:06:30
  So thank you all for giving me a microphone today to talk about
• 1:06:32
  it. Thank you.
• 1:06:34
  Thank you. Barely.
• 1:06:34
  Awesome. Thank you.