Latest / The Health Revival Show / #1011: Dr. Tabatha Barber - Why Isn't My Body Healing? The Variable Nobody Tests

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#1011: Dr. Tabatha Barber - Why Isn't My Body Healing? The Variable Nobody Tests · The Health Revival Show

0:00
Dr. Tabatha Barber: By like complete faith, left my job as an OBGYN, left
0:05
the accolades, left the stable salary.
0:07
Girls, I come from nothing.
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I had no money, and here I am making quarter million dollars of a year with a
0:14
stable paycheck, a 401, health insurance.
0:18
I never had health insurance growing up, and I gave it all up because God
0:22
was like, "We're doing a new thing over here, and I need you to teach women the
0:27
truth about their bodies, and you need to stop practicing this Band-Aid medicine."
0:32
Liz Roman: Welcome back to the Health Revival Show.
0:35
Today, we are joined by Dr. Tabatha Barber, and I was actually just on her
0:39
podcast a few weeks ago, and now this is her second time joining us here.
0:44
We had such a great discussion the first time around fasting and
0:48
how you can lean into your faith during some of those long fasts.
0:52
She's got some amazing programs.
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So if you're not following her, you can do so on Instagram @thegutsydrtabatha.
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And I love that, because you have a great story of leaving medicine and
1:05
turning functional, and so we'll let you reintroduce yourself again briefly
1:08
to our followers and listeners today.
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Perfect.
1:11
And then we are gonna dive into believing that you can heal and the
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importance of having a, a strong mind and spirit through your healing journey.
1:21
So welcome back to the show, Tabatha.
1:23
Thank you for joining us.
1:24
Dr. Tabatha Barber: Oh, I'm so happy to be here.
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You are just a bright light in a sea of darkness.
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There's a lot going on.
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Even in the functional medicine space, I feel like we're losing sight of the
1:37
work that we're supposed to be doing.
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I'm seeing a lot of people just having tests run and labs done,
1:44
and no one's interpreting them.
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No one's actually taking the time to sit down and listen to their entire life
1:50
story and see the bigger picture and, and really dig at the root cause of stuff.
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So it's kind of going in the direction of conventional medicine, right?
2:01
It- it's heartbreaking.
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So I appreciate the work that you ladies do, and you take the time with
2:08
women, and you invest in them to re- really figure out what's going on.
2:13
And it wasn't until I did that for myself that I was able to heal.
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So, you know, that's my journey is I've struggled with gut issues my entire
2:25
life, diagnosed with Hashimoto's at 17 after a very traumatic, uh, pregnancy
2:32
and delivery as a teen mom, and, um, conventional medicine failed me.
2:37
I had failed back surgery, all the things, right?
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And it wasn't until I started to sit down and really take a look
2:46
at how I'd lived my life, and that requires time and contemplation.
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And I encourage women to do it from a curious perspective and not from a
3:01
guilt or shame or regret perspective, because that is how many of us live,
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and it literally keeps us stuck in our illnesses, stuck in our disease, stuck
3:13
in our, um, negative thought patterns.
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You call them ANTs, like automatic negative thoughts.
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They just, they take over.
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Like, the ANTs just invade, right?
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And so I had to go through all of this, and once I came out on the
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other side I just felt like, oh my gosh, I just conquered a mountain.
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Like, I just slayed a giant.
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I need to share this with the world because it's possible.
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Like, you actually don't have to live with chronic gut issues.
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You don't have to live with outrageous autoimmune
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conditions on fire all the time.
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Like, I was literally in chronic pain, chronic inflammation- Mm-hmm … brain
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fog, carrying an extra 30, 35 pounds.
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Like, I've gone a decade now without that stuff, and it's
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just, it still blows my mind.
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I just wanna praise God every day that there is a way out of that mess.
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There really is.
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Liz Roman: I love that so much, and I love that you share your faith with
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people because this is a big topic, uh, you know, that we're gonna talk
4:20
about today, how we have faith that we can heal, how we start to change some
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of those thoughts and really lean into faith, whatever that looks like for you,
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but meditation, too, in the way of I…
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There's something better for me.
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There's a challenge here that I'm facing, but if I overcome this, I'll be stronger.
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And so I'm really excited to dive into that topic with you today.
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But first, I also wanna just highlight that you're a
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triple board certified OBGYN.
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And so you've seen women in various seasons of their life
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go through really hard times.
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I'm sure that you saw it all in the doctor's office, right?
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Pregnancy, miscarriage, postpartum, all the mess that we would say is
5:00
beautiful at the same time of, you know, bringing birth to life or, or life here.
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And so can you just elaborate a little bit on that before we go into this?
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Like, what was the turning point for you where you said, "I'm
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done with conventional medicine.
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I've got, you know, probably an amazing practice here, but I'm choosing to
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be gutsy and go out on my own" Um, in functional medicine because I think
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that's also really important when people start to see more and more and hear
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more and more, and we have a lot of these doctors who come on our podcast
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that say, "You were told that you were normal, and I left because I couldn't
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stand practicing medicine that way."
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So share a little bit about that with us before we get into
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the mindset, if you don't mind.
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Dr. Tabatha Barber: My goodness.
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So many things happened between 2015 and 2019 in my life.
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I was At the pinnacle.
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Like, I spent 15 years becoming this doctor, you know?
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Be- going from high school dropout teen mom to being board certified, being
6:06
the chief of the department, eventually the chief of staff of the hospital.
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I started the robotics program at the hospital, so I was a robotic
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surgeon, and I was so good.
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I loved it.
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Oh my goodness.
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I would take on the cases that nobody else would touch, like stage four endometriosis
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with bowel scarring and gigantic fibroids that needed to be removed because women
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still wanted to attempt pregnancies.
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And so I have always been bold in what I have done, but when God started, like,
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revealing the truth of what was going on in my personal health journey and
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having a failed back surgery and, like, being on five different medications.
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I was on antidepressants, proton pump inhibitors, Bentyl for
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irritable bowel syndrome, and my thyroid meds, and all the things.
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Like, He started to reveal to me that the way He designed our bodies to heal,
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most doctors are actually preventing that healing process from happening.
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And as a surgeon, I was thinking I was the healer.
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Like, let me cut you and remove your disease and sew
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you back up, and I'll heal you.
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And God was like, you don't do the healing.
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I created that body.
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I cause those cells to grow back together.
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You facilitate, you help the process, but e- ultimately, I'm the healer.
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And it was kind of a rude awakening to my ego of like, wait, what?
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And so I just went on this journey of like, okay, God, if you really
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designed our bodies to heal and thrive and overcome these things,
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like, why isn't that happening?
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Why are we seeing more cancer and more disease?
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And He just started to reveal the truth of everything to me.
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And you get to the point where you're like, wait a second, I can
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no longer do things the way I've been doing them because the truth is
8:08
telling me that that's not the way.
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And so I, by, like, complete faith, left my job as an OBGYN, left the
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accolades, left the stable salary.
8:21
Girls, I come from nothing.
8:23
I had no money, and here I am making a quarter million dollars of a year with a
8:28
stable paycheck, a 401, health insurance.
8:32
I never had health insurance growing up.
8:35
And I gave it all up because God was like, "We're doing a new thing over
8:40
here, and I need you to teach women the truth about their bodies, and you need to
8:45
stop practicing this Band-Aid medicine."
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And I just, I think about all the surgeries I performed,
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especially endometriosis.
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We just, we get in this mindset of like, "Yeah, come on in.
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We'll, we'll clean you up.
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We'll remove some endometriosis.
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We'll probably remove some cysts or maybe even your ovaries, put you on a
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medication to put you into menopause at 20 or 30 years old, and then we'll
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do it again next year because that's just how you manage endometriosis."
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And God was like, "That's not helping women. That's f- a false sense of
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security that you're actually treating disease. You're not treating disease."
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And so the more I just had these revelations, the more I could no
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longer live and practice the way I was.
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And the truth of it is now I don't do any surgery and I heal way more
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women than I ever had as an OBGYN.
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Becca Chilczenkowski: Amazing.
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And, uh, very ti- I was actually listening to a podcast this morning about
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endometriosis and surgery and how w- you know- Healing, per se, endometriosis can
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be near impossible in some cases, but getting inflammation down and all of the
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root issues are what driving it, you know?
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And it's crazy.
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It's crazy what it can do to the body, and you start to realize that
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it's so much bigger than just this is how you were made, 'cause it's not.
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You know?
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It's, it's all these different things going on in terms of inflammatory
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levels and mast cells and histamine, and it's, it's not talked about enough.
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So coming from a place where I think you have the credibility, obviously,
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and the experience of your history of being an OBGYN and doing these
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surgeries and knowing these people were back because it grow back, you know?
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And it didn't actually fully solve things.
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Given the space that you're in now, you obvi- like you mentioned earlier, you
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get to see a lot more about the person.
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You know?
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You get to see a lot more about their life and maybe their stressors and things that
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they have allowed into, you know, consume negative emotions and all of these things.
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How much do you feel that plays a role in where people find themselves in terms
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of dysfunction and disarray and symptoms and feeling like they're kind of stuck?
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'Cause, um, you know, we see it a lot where people will come to us
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and you can tell, like, they don't believe that they can get better yet.
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Yeah.
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They don't truly believe that their body can heal, and you can hear it in
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the way that they talk, in their voice and, you know, you know that those cases
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are probably gonna be harder because these people have so much doubt because
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of everything they've been through.
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So do you see that in most of your cases, all of your cases?
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What, what are you seeing with, you know, the, the mental, emotional side of this?
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Dr. Tabatha Barber: This is such an important topic.
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So I do a lot of in-person events.
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You know, we, we talk about mind renewal and identity and things like that, and I
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had a young girl, she was probably 23, 24, come up to me and say, "I have PCOS and my
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doctor told me I can never get pregnant.
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Do you believe that?" And I was like, "You need to rebuke that right now because you
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are being spoken death over your body by a trained health professional." And it just,
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like, literally set fire inside of me.
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Like, I was passionately angry, and I realized I used to do that as a surgeon.
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I would be like, "Well, we did a good job cleaning up everything
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inside your abdomen and pelvis.
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I'll plan to see you next year 'cause that's probably the point at which,
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like, you'll be in pain again and have issues again." And they would say, like,
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"Can I attempt pregnancy?" And I would say, "Well, no, because we're putting
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you on these menopause-inducing drugs, and I don't think, um, your ovaries
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and fallopian tubes are gonna work.
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I don't foresee pregnancy in your future." And, like, all these things started
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flashing through my mind at the moment she had said that to me, and I was like, we
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have to stand up for our patients- Well- … and speak life over their bodies-
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Okay … and over their healing abilities.
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We have to quit, you know, going to the doctor and letting them
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be the final word in everything.
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Because if you believe that diagnosis and that thing that they're telling
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you, you will live that out.
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Mm. That is what your future will be.
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And so we need to fight against that and say, "Wait a second.
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That's not actually true.
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You might think that because of your training or whatever, but I actually
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know my God is a healing God, a God of restoration and redemption, and my
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body was created to overcome and heal.
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So I'm gonna just not believe that and go over here and find somebody who speaks
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life over me." And that has been the most powerful thing I have seen in my
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practice and in my programs is y- you- if you give people hope again and tell them
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that they can heal, they actually will.
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They will reverse their diseases.
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They will get rid of that cancer.
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I… When I first started my coaching academy, our first cohort that graduated,
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one of the women got diagnosed with a huge brain tumor, cancer, glioblastoma,
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like, weeks after the graduation.
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And she was so dead set on the fact that God brought her through this coaching
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academy to understand and learn her body and her physiology and all the things
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that she was just at complete peace.
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Like, "I know he's gonna heal me.
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He just showed me what was possible.
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I just went through all of this training.
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He's equipping me." And I just thought that was such a beautiful
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example of like, yes, let's armor up.
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Let's get equipped and start believing in our body's ability to heal.
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And I just tell women over and over, you cannot heal a body you hate.
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You cannot speak defeat and beliefs of, like, destruction and expect your
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body to do something else, because it literally listens to your thoughts.
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Your thoughts produce chemicals.
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Your emotions produce chemicals.
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They go throughout your body, and they tell your cells to either
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start destroying or start repairing.
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Like, we have so much more control over our body than any doctor tells us.
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Liz Roman: So a couple things I wanna just call out that you said there,
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just to kind of reiterate this.
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First is I, I really love what you said about doctors are preventing
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our bodies from healing the way that God designed them to.
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And I believe what you were talking about there is just pumping more
15:23
and more medications, right?
15:24
We know that the average person is on five or more medications, and a lot
15:28
of it is because they're trying to mask the symptoms that… or the side
15:32
effects, excuse me, you know, from another medication instead of truly
15:37
trying to figure out what's going on.
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But then the second thing that you said is that you cannot heal a body that you hate.
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And I think a hate is a, it's a strong word, right?
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But we know that so many women have this internal dialogue
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that they're very negative.
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Maybe they don't choose that word outwardly, right?
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They don't say openly, "I hate my body," but the words or the thoughts
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that they have in their mind may align with that type of feeling.
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And so I just wanted to bring that up because I think as we continue this
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conversation and, and how we try to use methodologies and use different mantras
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or, or things to help us shift away from those thoughts, that's really important.
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And I would just challenge you to sit with what some of those thoughts are
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and ask yourself, "How do I feel when I think this compared to how I might
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feel if I'm taking the approach that Dr.
16:31
Tabitha's saying here in terms of my body can heal.
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I know that God's gonna heal me.
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I know that I'm gonna make it through this.
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I know that I have hope and I have restoration, even though it may take
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longer than I want, and it's probably not gonna look like I want it," 'cause
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we all want instant gratification, right?
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So we, we can, we can be human here to say that too.
16:50
But one thing that came to mind when you said this is a
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story that I heard long ago.
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And basically it was a woman's conference.
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And actually I believe that I was 18 years old.
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It was Rockford, Illinois.
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It was a woman's, uh, conference at a church.
17:04
And the woman speaking was basically saying, "If we were to separate all of
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you and you were to go in to write down some of these thoughts that you have
17:15
about your body, how you feel about yourself, your physical being, and your
17:18
outward ex- uh, you know, looks, and then I were to bring you back and I
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were to put you in a room with either your daughter or your best friend,
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would you read those things to her?"
17:28
Yeah.
17:28
And I j- Never
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Dr. Tabatha Barber: would.
17:30
Liz Roman: For 20 years, yeah.
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So let's talk about this a little bit more in-depth, because I, I think
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it's important to get granular with that, and for women to really, really
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pay attention to those thoughts, because I think we just go through our
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day and we know that they're there.
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We know we have these feelings, but then we don't try to course-correct.
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So how does that impact us?
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How does that impact our nervous system?
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How does that impact our molecular level, right, where we can see
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that healing start to happen?
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Dr. Tabatha Barber: Percent, yeah.
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I didn't know I was talking mean to myself.
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I didn't know I hated myself.
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J- just to your point, like, it wasn't until I started meditating.
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So I was so stressed out as an OBGYN.
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My health was falling apart, and I was starting to study functional medicine,
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and one of the f- first things I learned was get control of your monkey mind.
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So, and I'll just be fully transparent.
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I was not living for Jesus at that point.
18:27
Like, I may have gone to church a- and checked off the box on Sunday, but I
18:31
didn't have a relationship with Christ.
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I wasn't, like, being guided by the Holy Spirit or anything.
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I was just living my regular, normal life.
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And so I'm doing meditation, and I start to notice all of the junk in my
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head, all of the crazy thoughts that I would never say to my enemy, let
18:50
alone my daughter or someone I loved.
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And I was like, "Wow, I'm really critical.
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I'm really mean to myself," you know? I didn't wear yoga pants for
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10 years 'cause I told myself, like, "You don't look good enough in them.
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You look disgusting.
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You can't possibly wear those." Um, I didn't wear a bathing suit in
19:07
my 20s because my husband had said something about my cellulite, and I
19:12
was probably 110 pounds at that point.
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Like- The, the stuff we think isn't rational, it doesn't make sense.
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I wish I could go back and just tell myself, and I have, like, "I am so
19:26
sorry I was so mean to you. You were beautiful. You were actually healthy
19:30
and skinny and amazing, and, like, I'm sorry I talked to you the way I did."
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But it wasn't until I even realized it that I could start to course correct.
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And so that's why I encourage women, get curious.
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What are you saying to yourself?
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And journaling can be really helpful.
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You can start to see it on the paper.
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It's, like, right there in black and white.
19:54
Oh my gosh.
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Um, if you write a list of what you truly believe about yourself, about your
19:59
body You might be a little surprised.
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But the truth of it is, whatever you're telling yourself creates a feeling.
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And feelings, they're not always true.
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They're just physiology.
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They're just chemical reactions happening.
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And so it's information.
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Emotions are information.
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And so many of us try to ignore those emotions.
20:25
We, so we eat to just, you know, to cover up that feeling, that emotion
20:30
just created, or we drink to numb it up, or we shop to, like, h- get
20:37
a dopamine hit, or we go on social media, 'cause the dopamine feels much
20:40
better than the crap we just made from those thoughts and those emotions.
20:45
And so if you can learn how to just sit through them, they
20:49
only last like 90 seconds.
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That wave will dissipate and go away, 'cause it's a chemical reaction.
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It's like y- it just, like, flooded your system and it will dissipate.
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The way it doesn't dissipate is if you continue to think the thoughts
21:05
and, and drive those feelings.
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So I always say, like, think about the last big fight you had.
21:11
If you start thinking about it and telling your girlfriend about the whole
21:14
fight and like, "He said this to me and I couldn't believe he did that,"
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you will feel all of those feelings.
21:20
Like, your heart will race, your palms will sweat.
21:23
You'll get all pumped up.
21:24
You'll be like, "I wanna do something about it," and it
21:26
happened five years ago, right?
21:28
Because it's just a chemical response to those thoughts.
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And so if we can just, like, start to disengage from some of that and say,
21:38
"Wait a second, I'm creating a lot of this stuff I'm feeling. It's not
21:43
necessary. It doesn't serve me," which means I can actually create different
21:48
thoughts and different feelings and emotions, and have a different response.
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And so I just started doing that.
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I just started, like, speaking life over myself and like,
21:59
"What does God say about me?
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I'm actually His daughter.
22:03
I'm an heir.
22:04
I've, I'm more than a conqueror.
22:06
I've, was created to heal.
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Like, my body is not my own.
22:09
It's the temple of the Holy Spirit.
22:11
What?
22:11
God's living inside of me?"
22:13
And those started creating emotions and chemical physiology
22:17
responses that felt really good.
22:20
And it was wild to just see the inflammation go away, the weight fall off.
22:26
I was not trying to lose weight, but I finally went back to the size
22:32
that God created me to thrive at.
22:35
So the 35 pounds came off, and they stayed off.
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And so I just, I wanna encourage women, we are doing it all the wrong way.
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We are trying to do this of our own fruition and our own muscle and manpower.
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I just need more willpower.
22:51
I just need more discipline.
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And that is not what you need.
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You need to get in alignment with how God created you.
23:00
I heard this thing once.
23:02
This guy was talking about the fact that cars, you could put a bunch
23:06
of car parts in a garage, and the car isn't gonna create itself.
23:12
And so if a car is broken, you can't expect it to, like,
23:16
fix itself or change its oil.
23:18
You have to go to the creator, the source of who knows how the car was built,
23:23
who created it, and have them fix it.
23:25
And so I now just teach women, like, go to your creator.
23:30
Ask him what's wrong with your body.
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He'll tell you.
23:33
He will t- he will bring you the people that you need to help you through this.
23:38
I mean, we're created to do life together, so I'm not saying, saying, like, your
23:42
body's magically just gonna heal.
23:44
No.
23:45
He wants you to search out the right functional medicine providers or the right
23:49
spiritual guides or things like that.
23:52
But unless you talk to him directly, you're not gonna know what you need.
23:57
So we have to stop, like, going to food and alcohol and supplements.
24:03
That's another thing.
24:04
Like, let me just supplement my way out of this.
24:07
No.
24:08
Like, that is not the answer.
24:10
And the truth of it is modern medicine separated what God
24:15
created to work together.
24:16
So the body, the mind, and the soul were always created to work together
24:22
in harmony, and we silo that out.
24:24
We're like, "If you have a spiritual problem, go talk to your pastor. It
24:29
has nothing to do with your cancer diagnosis." That's total garbage.
24:34
We have to reconnect them, body, mind, and soul, and address all of them
24:39
together in order to actually heal.
24:42
Becca Chilczenkowski: So when people are in kind of these spirals, right?
24:45
'Cause a lot of times a client will end up with, like, I was in, you know,
24:49
a social gathering, or I was really stressed after work, or my kids were
24:54
getting, you know, like, getting really overwhelming for me, and I either didn't
24:58
eat or I, you know binge ate whatever or drank a bunch of wine with my
25:04
friends or, like, whatever it might be.
25:06
Or they're in kind of that spiral of, I know this is a common one too I see, is
25:11
like, "I woke up, I'm bloated, I didn't have a bowel movement," and then my mind
25:15
just spirals of like, "What's wrong?
25:18
You know, I feel worse now." And it almost exacerbates the bloating because of the
25:22
stress that you're creating around it.
25:23
What do you recommend in those moments?
25:25
Obviously, yes, kind of leaning on God and leaning on, you know, what is going on?
25:30
Can you please help me through this?
25:32
I know that this is just temporary and kind of, not downplaying, but allowing
25:36
it to kind of work through itself.
25:38
But what else?
25:38
Do you have any, like, tools or tactics that you give clients to kind of
25:41
work through those things mentally?
25:43
'Cause I know that they can be, you know, really debilitating, especially
25:45
when it's something that someone has been consistently dealing with.
25:48
And I know for a fact, like, I'm not happy when I'm bloated.
25:50
It definitely ruins my emotions for a little while.
25:52
So, like, what do you typically try to encourage people to kind
25:55
of work through in those moments?
25:57
Dr. Tabatha Barber: Yeah.
25:57
My mantra is begin again.
26:00
Do not sit there and beat yourself up and throw out all your progress
26:06
because you made one bad choice or you had a few off days or a week.
26:11
Like, I travel a lot, and so sometimes I fall way off the wagon.
26:15
I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I haven't been to Pilates in a week and a half.
26:19
I haven't been sleeping.
26:21
I haven't,
26:21
Liz Roman: you know,
26:22
Dr. Tabatha Barber: done all the things" And you have two choices in that moment
26:26
of realization that you're in this space of, okay, I can double down and continue
26:33
to spiral, or I can give myself love and grace and move forward and begin again.
26:42
And what the majority of us do, and this is what I did for 40-some
26:47
years, is I spiral in the shame and the guilt of shoulda, coulda,
26:52
woulda, shoulda, coulda, woulda.
26:53
And I say, "Stop shoulding on yourself. Like, you are not helping
26:57
yourself" Or what if, what if, what if, and worrying about the future.
27:02
Like, get in the present moment.
27:04
What do I need?
27:05
I need to be loved and encouraged and reminded that I'm an imperfect human, and
27:13
I'm doing the best I can, and it's okay.
27:16
And so- What do I need in this moment?
27:20
And if we just started showing up for ourselves the way we
27:23
show up for children, I know not everybody's a mom, but everybody
27:27
has loved somebody at some point.
27:30
They know how they would show up for that person, and we need to
27:34
just show up for ourselves that way.
27:36
So I just love to get curious.
27:39
What do I need right now?
27:40
I probably need more water.
27:42
I probably need to start my supplement regimen back up.
27:45
I probably need to move my body.
27:47
But for me, what I teach in my programs is I start in the Word.
27:51
I start my day in the Word, I end in the Word.
27:54
I, I end in prayer and gratitude and reading the Word of God
27:58
because it's like my GPS.
28:00
It just keeps me in the direction that I'm supposed to go.
28:05
And if anybody out there has ever, like, learned how to drive a boat or do anything
28:11
like that, you only need to be off a little bit in your coordinances to end
28:15
up in the wrong fricking town or country, you know, days later, weeks later.
28:21
It's just this little bit at a time that over time adds up.
28:25
So every single day you wanna be like, 'What's my goal?
28:29
What's my plan here, Lord?' And that's what I do.
28:32
I just say, 'What are we doing today?
28:34
What do I need to be reminded of?
28:36
Where did I get off track?' And a lot of the times it's like, 'Oh, you're leaning
28:41
to food again for your numbing or your comfort, and I need you to not do that.
28:46
I need you to, like, talk to me instead, or to journal, or to put some worship
28:51
music on, and just redirect.' So it's different for everybody, but you have
28:56
to figure out what works with you.
28:58
And I encourage women to create a mantra for your life, something you
29:05
believe, something that you can speak over yourself and remind yourself
29:10
when you're not thinking right.
29:12
And maybe you have to write it down everywhere.
29:14
Maybe you have to have sticky notes.
29:16
I have, like, two monitors right now I'm sitting at, and my second monitor
29:21
has a couple scriptures that I always want to remember because it keeps me
29:26
anchored in who I am, what I'm doing, and that I'm more than my diet plan
29:32
or my kids being perfect or, you know, and be- bringing all the snacks
29:37
as the mom and doing all the stuff.
29:39
Like, that's not who you are.
29:40
Those are cool things that you do, but that's not who you are.
29:43
So you gotta get anchored.
29:44
You gotta find your identity And it's okay that you didn't know it before then.
29:50
Like I said, I was in my 40's before I figured any of this out.
29:53
So you ladies who are younger, this is amazing.
29:56
But if you can, once you get to that point of like, wait a second,
29:59
I've just been sailing through life.
30:01
I've just been trying to do all the things, be all the
30:03
things, have all the things.
30:04
No, that's not who you are.
30:06
And we gotta just go deeper.
30:08
Like, who am I at the core?
30:10
What the heck am I doing in this earthly experience?
30:13
And step into that clarity, and it's absolutely messy.
30:18
Don't be afraid to get messy- Yeah … and to grow and to evolve.
30:22
I've lost a lot of friends because I'm no longer the person I was 10 years
30:27
ago, and that's okay, because I know that God is doing a new thing in me.
30:32
And if you can step out into that boldness, you won't have all the
30:37
guilt, all the shame, all the stuff that keeps you spiraling all the time.
30:41
That comes from trying to please others, trying to live up to somebody
30:46
else's perspective of you or whatever.
30:48
Like, I serve an audience of one.
30:50
Like, I just care what God thinks.
30:52
Like, everybody else, if you like me, great.
30:54
If not, I'm sorry.
30:56
Like, that's the point I'm at, and it feels amazing.
31:01
Becca Chilczenkowski: I think it's great.
31:01
I love that.
31:03
I, uh, I saw something yesterday that I think is really powerful, too,
31:06
from, like, a coach's perspective and a practitioner's perspective.
31:09
A lot of times when clients do spiral, you know, they, they will reach out to you,
31:14
and they'll, they'll be kind of freaking out, and they'll look to you for comfort,
31:18
and they'll look to you for support.
31:19
And sometimes it's good to let people also just sit with it- Mm-hmm … and
31:23
work through it on their own because when you're constantly being that support,
31:26
not saying to n- ignore your clients, right, or ignore a friend or whatever
31:30
it might be, but to an extent it's also somewhat enabling it, you know?
31:34
And it's, it's allowing that s- kind of continuous spiral to happen,
31:38
and for them to think, "When I'm spiraling, I lean on this person.
31:41
They say it's okay to do that, but also that this is gonna happen," and then
31:44
it's like a repeated behavior, you know?
31:46
And so from a coach and practitioner standpoint, it's sometimes
31:50
letting them work through it.
31:51
And sometimes I'll come back to messages that, like, maybe I've been
31:54
gone all day on calls, and my client will have sent multiple messages of
31:57
them working through it themselves.
31:59
Like, the first message is them freaking out.
32:01
The second message is like, "Okay, actually this happened, and it's
32:04
not that bad." And it's like letting them kind of work through things
32:07
and not always being an enabler if you're on the other side of it, too.
32:10
Whether it's a friend, a family member, you know, a client, because they'll
32:13
never get out of it themselves if we are the only thing that allows
32:18
them to keep doing it, you know?
32:20
Yeah.
32:20
And like you said, finding God, working, journaling, working through it on your
32:24
own, I think is the real answer, with guidance in other areas, of course.
32:28
But it was really powerful.
32:29
I saw someone talk about that yesterday, and I was like, "Huh, it's a very
32:32
interesting way to think about it," in terms of you wanna be supportive,
32:36
you wanna be helpful, you know, you wanna guide, but I think that there's
32:38
definitely a fine line in terms of how much you're doing that for these people,
32:42
Liz Roman: so.
32:42
Dr. Tabatha Barber: Absolutely.
32:44
I just recommend be curious.
32:46
Don't come at yourself with judgment.
32:48
Ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way right now?
32:51
Why am I having this belief that this is…" what's happening because you
32:57
have to remember you only have one perspective of the actual truth of
33:02
what's happening based on your lived experiences, all the things that you
33:07
have gone through in your life, your big traumas, little traumas, all the things.
33:11
And so you're not seeing the full picture.
33:14
Our reticular activating system filters out like a billion things
33:19
a second so that we don't get overwhelmed, and we can actually,
33:23
you know, focus and, and function.
33:26
And so you're focused on w- whatever your subconscious is worried about.
33:31
Yeah.
33:31
Liz Roman: And
33:31
Dr. Tabatha Barber: so if you could just step back and say,
33:34
"Huh, why am I feeling this way?
33:36
Why am I believing this right now?
33:37
Why am I thinking this person is out to get me?" Or, or, "Why do I believe
33:42
they're judging me?" You'll be surprised at the story that you're telling
33:49
yourself because the truth is the biggest stressor is not the toxins in the world.
33:55
Yeah, they're, they're awful toxic.
33:57
It's not the Cyclospora you're getting exposed to.
33:59
The biggest stressor is the thoughts going on in your mind, the stories that
34:05
you are creating about the world around you and your interaction with people.
34:10
Those stories are often not true.
34:14
They are very one-sided.
34:15
They are very skewed, and if you could just say like, "What am I telling myself
34:20
right now in this moment 'cause it doesn't feel good," it might not even be true.
34:25
And I wish we could teach kids at a younger age to do this because I
34:30
think they would avoid so much of the heartbreak and misery that we have
34:35
already gone through and experienced.
34:37
That's what I try to teach my kids.
34:38
Like, "Are you sure that person actually came at you like that?
34:42
Are you sure that's what they meant with that text?
34:45
'Cause I don't see it that way." And if we could do that things
34:51
would really start to shift.
34:53
Liz Roman: Yeah.
34:53
One of the things I am kind of getting here and just wanna call out, and this is
34:57
something that I say a lot to my clients is, you know, when you're in the trenches,
35:00
you feel like everybody's out to get you.
35:02
You feel like nothing is working.
35:04
You are just dragging through mud, and you're never going
35:08
to get to that other side.
35:09
So it can be hard, right, to have this belief and to have all these
35:13
mantras and to change these thoughts that have been so ingrained,
35:16
'cause they're still gonna come.
35:17
Automatic negative thoughts, the ANTs, they always come.
35:19
Mm-hmm.
35:20
It's just that you get quieting them.
35:23
And a lot of what I challenge my gals to do is to look for the good and to
35:28
find joy in their day, or create joy.
35:30
So okay, you're not feeling super great today.
35:33
Energy is not, you know, it's up to where we want it to be.
35:37
Maybe we didn't sleep our best.
35:39
Whatever.
35:39
You're bloated.
35:40
You're gassy.
35:41
I'm like, okay, what can you do for 10 or 15 minutes?
35:45
For me, it's usually a walk in nature.
35:47
I'll put on my worship music, or I'll dance in the kitchen,
35:49
or I'll pick something to cook, whatever that looks like.
35:52
But I think one of the things that you brought up earlier that I, I wanna
35:54
kinda call out before we close out here is that not only have you changed and
35:59
you've changed the people around you, you've also set boundaries it sounds
36:03
like, and stopped looking at a lot of the things that may be dragging you down.
36:06
And so we cannot end this podcast without the elephant in the room,
36:10
which is all these Facebook groups of everybody who is so sick, and
36:13
they've got all these diagnosises.
36:15
Because I will hear from clients, and I was just chatting with one yesterday.
36:19
She's starting with me next month.
36:20
The research papers.
36:21
"Well, I read this, and it said this." And I'm like, "Well,
36:24
who, who ran the research?
36:25
How many participants?
36:26
What was the control?
36:27
Has this been peer reviewed?" I mean, all the things, because
36:30
now we're demonizing melatonin.
36:31
And I'm like, there is a mountain of evidence that does not align
36:34
with this, so like let's just, you know, understand the actual facts.
36:38
Because I think that so many people, and I wanna hear your thoughts on
36:41
this, are turning out of desperation to the social media groups.
36:45
But then it is going to what Becca said, right?
36:47
It's enabling them to stay in this place of we, we know your symptoms are real.
36:53
We are not disregarding that.
36:54
But if you're always looking at the negative, you're never going
36:58
to start to feel better because you're not attracting that, right?
37:01
And I think that comes from, uh, you know, uh, many belief systems,
37:05
whether it is God our creator or it is another belief system.
37:08
We know that you're the law- The Law of Attraction is a really great book.
37:11
If you haven't read it, it's definitely something to read.
37:13
But I wanna hear your thoughts there, because what do you tell these people
37:16
when they're first coming in to you?
37:17
Like, do you ask them, "Are you part of these groups? We need to remove
37:21
ourselves from these groups. We need to get into communities that
37:24
are supportive of our healing."
37:26
Dr. Tabatha Barber: This goes back to what I was saying about your identity.
37:30
You are not your diagnosis.
37:32
And some people just step into that as their identity.
37:36
Like, that I just, I have fibromyalgia that it runs my life, or I have
37:42
irritable inflammatory bowel disease.
37:45
It, it runs my life.
37:47
Um, I'm always gonna have to go to the doctor.
37:49
I'm always gonna need surgeries.
37:51
And they just make these declarations over their life and their health, and I promise
37:58
you, that is what is keeping you sick.
38:01
So absolutely.
38:02
It's fine to have some information, but we have infobesity.
38:07
We have so much information, we're fat with it.
38:09
It is making us sick.
38:11
And I was just saying this yesterday in my group call that when I was
38:16
young, they would run commercials for malnourished little kids in Ethiopia
38:21
and, like, feed the children, and malnourishment looked like someone who
38:25
weighed 40 pounds and was skin and bones.
38:28
In the United States, malnourishment looks like obesity.
38:32
The more weight you're carrying, the more deficient you are.
38:36
And so You know, I'm not trying to get off on a tangent, but I want people
38:41
to understand that what you see is not the truth of what's going on.
38:48
It's not… You can't take things at face value.
38:51
And so you are right.
38:53
I say, "What does the Bible say?" The Bible says to pray
38:56
incessantly with thanksgiving.
38:58
That means I need to be in gratitude all day long.
39:01
I need to be focused for my reticular activating system, find the gratitude.
39:06
And the more that you speak it out and praise it and look for it,
39:10
the more your brain will find it.
39:12
It's amazing.
39:13
Like, the… If you say, "Let me find all the red cars on the road,"
39:17
all of a sudden everyone will be driving a red car when you've never
39:21
noticed red cars in your whole life.
39:22
That is your RAS, and the same thing happens in… Let me find how
39:27
God is working in people's lives.
39:29
Let me find how God is healing people.
39:31
And if I start focusing on that and looking for that, it's amazing, and it
39:36
feels like it's happening to everyone.
39:39
And then I can start to believe it's happening for me.
39:42
That is why I'm so grateful that I left conventional medicine before
39:46
COVID, because my ex-husband and his wife, they're both in the hospital.
39:51
They're both doctors.
39:52
They literally, all they saw was COVID and disease and death.
39:56
And here I was in the world of health and wellness, and I was never happier
40:01
or more healthy, and all I knew about was, like, everyone thriving in COVID.
40:06
And so we just were having a completely different experience of the same,
40:11
quote-unquote, reality, because my RAS was looking for the miracles in
40:17
everything that could come out of it.
40:18
And guess what came out of it?
40:20
I created a virtual medical practice where I saw women all over the country.
40:24
I helped more people than I ever had as an OBGYN.
40:28
Like, I thrived dur- during that time, and I'm not saying,
40:32
like, bad things didn't happen.
40:34
My heart goes out to so many people.
40:37
I took care of people who lost many family members.
40:40
But Y- what your perspective is is everything.
40:45
It determines your outcome on all of that.
40:48
And that's why the law of attraction works, because God
40:51
set it up to work that way.
40:54
That's how he designed us, right?
40:56
Liz Roman: Yeah, and can you just … Uh, this will be the final thing.
40:59
From a genetics perspective, can you touch on that too?
41:02
Because I think so many people walk around right now and say, "Well, this
41:05
happened," and we can absolutely use that information to help us improve.
41:11
Like, my mom passed away of ALS.
41:13
She had thyroid issues.
41:14
Mm-hmm.
41:14
She struggled with her weight, right?
41:15
There's a lot of information that I can gather from that.
41:19
But I know there are many people who, we did a podcast
41:22
recently on the BRCA gene, right?
41:24
Got the BRCA gene, take it all out.
41:26
Just remove it.
41:26
We're not asking deeper questions.
41:28
We're not looking at the metabolic health, all of that.
41:30
So what are your thoughts here?
41:31
Because so many women are walking around just thinking
41:34
doom and gloom because my genes.
41:36
So and so had cancer, so and so had cardiovascular issues, so and so had X, Y,
41:40
or Z, and so that's just, "I'm gonna enjoy my life and live it because, you know,
41:45
who knows what might end up happening?"
41:46
It's like, if we take that approach- Yeah … we're probably
41:50
gonna end up in the tomb, right?
41:52
Absolutely.
41:53
We have to see, 'cause this is something that God designed us, and
41:58
he created us as unique individuals.
42:00
He's the only one that knows the s- the hairs on our head.
42:02
He's the only one that knows what's happening at the cellular level.
42:05
So how do you tap into that, and what do you look at with, you know,
42:09
all the things you dealt with, many things that you were dealing with
42:12
health-wise, and your family history?
42:15
Is it that we totally disregard that, or that you've taken that as information or
42:18
knowledge to use it for good in the way that you show up in your personal life?
42:23
Dr. Tabatha Barber: Yeah.
42:24
Our genes don't change.
42:27
We pass them down, we pass them down.
42:30
They're getting expressed in our generation because of
42:34
what we're doing, you know?
42:35
Mark Hyman says, "Our genes are the gun, the environment pulls the
42:40
trigger," and he's absolutely correct.
42:43
So, you know, I have a lot of the same genes that my great-great-grandparents
42:48
had, but they didn't have Hashimoto's.
42:51
They didn't have the diseases that my family has because those
42:55
genes didn't get expressed.
42:57
DNA, there's an incredible book called Language of God- May … It
43:03
was written by the guy who found the genetic code, the DNA genome.
43:08
And he was like, "Okay, now I believe in God." Before that he was an atheist.
43:13
But he was like, "This is all just information that can be
43:18
transcribed and expressed or not."
43:21
So just because you have the BRCA gene doesn't mean your
43:25
cells are in there creating the information for that expression.
43:31
It's a potential.
43:32
It's in there.
43:33
It does … It's not active.
43:35
It's not happening.
43:36
That is why my mom didn't get a Hashimoto's diagnosis until she was in
43:43
her 60s, where I got it at 17, because my life was more toxic and more stressful.
43:50
She lived a clean, amazing, beautiful life, and it wasn't until she went
43:55
into menopause, got fear-based guidance into having a full hysterectomy
44:00
and all these other things, and got into a car accident, and that
44:04
triggered her Hashimoto's expression.
44:08
So- Well- … please don't remove all your organs- It, it, it goes-
44:12
because of this potential inside of the DNA structure of
44:16
information inside of your body.
44:18
Use that information to say, "Okay, I probably need to lead a cleaner
44:23
life than my buddy who doesn't have this mutation." But we're not
44:27
supposed to cut out our organs.
44:29
And I apologize to all the womens whose organs I removed
44:33
unnecessarily if that happened.
44:34
It breaks my heart.
44:35
We just remove the gallbladders.
44:37
We remove the appendixes and the tonsils.
44:39
Like, those are in there for a reason.
44:42
I understand there is a time and a place for surgery, but we way over-surgerize
44:48
people in this country, and it, it just … It's heartbreaking to me.
44:52
So there is way more to your story than your genetic code.
44:59
I have all kinds of gene mutations- Right … SNPs, like MTHFR.
45:04
I have two of them.
45:04
I have a COMT mutation.
45:06
I don't make vitamin D from the sun- Vitamin D … very well.
45:09
Like, I have all the inflammatory marker mutations.
45:13
The list goes on and on.
45:14
But I continue to get healthier and healthier as the years go on because
45:18
of how I live and how I renew my mind.
45:21
So I'll just leave you with that.
45:24
You have way more control than the doctors are telling you.
45:27
Becca Chilczenkowski: Cannot agree more.
45:28
I think it is, like you mentioned, the state of mind plays such a
45:33
large role in lo- longevity and the vitality and essentially how
45:36
you live your life, you know?
45:38
And you see it.
45:38
The people that you can pretty often correlate the people that struggle,
45:42
you know, with the negative thoughts and trauma history, I mean, right?
45:46
And how much that can take over someone's life versus someone that looks at it
45:50
a different way in terms of, "This is my past. It's not who I am," you
45:53
know, and has kind of grown from it.
45:55
It's completely different.
45:56
So one thing that we always like to say at, or ask our, you know, interviewees
46:03
at the end of each podcast is if you had one thing that you could tell the
46:06
entire world to listen, they were all listening, what would that one thing be?
46:12
Dr. Tabatha Barber: Whether or not you believe in Jesus,
46:14
that's, that's n- not my issue.
46:17
I know that you were created by a creator, and I would invite you- And
46:22
even if you- … to ask that creator who you are, what they say about you, and
46:28
what they say about your body and your health status, and you'd be surprised
46:33
as, as to what you start to hear.
46:35
And you gotta be still.
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You have to be still.
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That's why I love fasting.
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It gets rid of your fleshly distractions.
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Um, but I would start to have a conversation, and it might take a few
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conversations to really start to hear.
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It might take a month, but I would keep at it until you start to hear
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your creator tell you about you.
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Liz Roman: I love that.
46:57
Thank you so much for joining us again today.
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And for all of you listening, links will be in the show notes to
47:03
get connected with her and check out the programs that she has.
47:06
If you do like this episode, please don't forget to rate, review, subscribe, and
47:10
share the show, as that is how we grow.
47:13
I didn't mean to rhyme, but I rhymed.