Latest / Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire. / Mitch McConnell Is Back, Natalie Harp and Trump Smooching? | Breaking Absurdity
Transcript
- 0:00What in holy hell, there's a photo of Donald
- 0:01Trump and Nathalie Harp smooching on the golf
- 0:03course. Is it real? And Mitch McConnell is back
- 0:06and better than ever. Or is he? Here he is, Mitch
- 0:11McConnell being wheeled out. They did not want
- 0:13us to see this, clearly. Today in Breaking Absurdity,
- 0:16we've got whatever this is. Trump's janky leg.
- 0:20His arrival back to Washington with Melania stand
- 0:22-in, Nathalie Harp. And finally, the scandal
- 0:25that probably isn't a scandal with AOC and Mom
- 0:28Donnie. It's breaking absurdity. Everything you
- 0:30didn't know, you needed to know today, but wish
- 0:33you hadn't. Ads help keep the lights on here
- 0:35at It's Not Satire. But if ads give you the ick,
- 0:37let me help you with that. If you want all the
- 0:39absurdity without the ads, subscribe to my sub
- 0:42stack and look for the ad -free podcast option.
- 0:44The link is in the show notes. Now let's get
- 0:46into the absurdity. First up, it's Mitch McConnell.
- 0:50He is prison. How are you going to vote today,
- 0:59sir? Those cameras aren't getting anywhere near
- 1:01him. I didn't think this day was going to come,
- 1:03but here he is. Welcome back, Senator McConnell.
- 1:08Yeah, welcome back. I don't know how I feel about
- 1:11this. I mean, on one hand, you got one more vote
- 1:13for the Republicans, so that's not good. But
- 1:15on the other hand, this looks really bad for
- 1:17the Republicans. I mean, people just cannot believe
- 1:20that he is still in the Senate when we haven't
- 1:22seen him for, I don't know, how long has it been?
- 1:25Two, three months? And this just came in just
- 1:28as I was recording this video. Here's another
- 1:30view. You can see him a lot clearer now. There
- 1:33he is. This makes me laugh. You know that he
- 1:44can't talk very loud, what you're screaming at
- 1:46a man in a wheelchair, like he's gonna scream
- 1:48back at you. He talks about as slow as he walks,
- 1:52and that's pretty darn slow. And more clips emerged.
- 1:58Give us a thumbs up! Anything? I'm not sure if
- 2:04anything's going on up there. It looks more like
- 2:07a golden retriever than a United States senator.
- 2:12And here's political correspondent Nicholas Ballacy
- 2:14talking about what he just saw. Kentucky Republican
- 2:17Senator Mitch McConnell has returned to the Senate
- 2:20to vote after being out for three months. He
- 2:23fell on June 14th. He was in the hospital and
- 2:27then later transferred from rehab to his home
- 2:30to recover. The senator is back in person to
- 2:34vote. We didn't have any interviews from the
- 2:37senator. No videos were released during that
- 2:39three month time period, but he has returned
- 2:41to the Senate. And here's one of those photos
- 2:45that was released while he was hospitalized.
- 2:47This is what absolutely made the internet melt
- 2:49down. Nobody believed it was real. Everyone thought
- 2:51it was AI. Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear said
- 2:53that he received calls from state agencies that
- 2:55said that he might even be dead. Yet, here we
- 2:59are. Mitch McConnell being wheeled out of his
- 3:02townhouse, headed into the Senate. Here he is
- 3:05being wheeled into the Senate floor, getting
- 3:07a bit of a greeting from his fellow Republicans.
- 3:10I wonder what they're laughing about. And I wonder
- 3:12how much Mitch McConnell is actually talking.
- 3:15It's a little bit difficult to see. The cameras
- 3:18don't really let us get too close to him. And
- 3:20there's a few things to catch you up on. So this
- 3:23is Trump in Ireland yesterday and the internet
- 3:25was having a complete meltdown over Trump's leg.
- 3:29Just take a look there. We're zooming in and
- 3:31there's something getting in the way of his pants.
- 3:33You can see there's a little protrusion on his
- 3:35left leg sticking out there and that pant leg
- 3:38does not lay right. Let's look at it again. See,
- 3:41he's not walking like a person with a good gait.
- 3:46And here's Trump stepping off Air Force One.
- 3:50This is the Qatari -donated $400 million Air
- 3:53Force One that Trump spent several more hundred
- 3:56million dollars fixing up, stepping off very
- 3:59carefully. Because you know, the one thing that
- 4:00Trump admires about Obama is Obama bopped down
- 4:04the stairs. And with Trump, there ain't no boppin'.
- 4:08It is all about careful, careful steps. And since
- 4:13Trump hates it so much, I just thought I would
- 4:15play the video of Obama bopping down the stairs.
- 4:19Trump wishes he could do that. But back to the
- 4:23present day, sadly, here's Trump walking over
- 4:25to Marine One. I've just fast forwarded this
- 4:27a little bit. Look at Trump now, gesticulating
- 4:30pretty aggressively at the military. What is
- 4:33he upset about? Not happy about something? Maybe
- 4:36they took too long. Maybe they had to change
- 4:39his diaper and he got a little upset. And here's
- 4:41people getting on. But I thought this would be
- 4:43good to show you Natalie Harp. Natalie Harp,
- 4:46Trump's executive assistant who follows him everywhere.
- 4:49She's getting on Marine One and she's headed
- 4:51back to the White House. So what do you think
- 4:53she's going to do when she gets there? And yesterday,
- 4:56Trump may have gotten a little confused because
- 4:58he was talking about his wife being there, but
- 5:00she clearly wasn't. My wife is here. Yeah, that
- 5:06was a pretty bad mistake. Yep, seven hours on
- 5:19a plane is where Melania draws the line. That's
- 5:21not happening. And this just emerged on the internet
- 5:24today. Donald Trump is smooching a woman who
- 5:27looks a lot like Natalie Hart from behind. It's
- 5:30allegedly a photo from Ireland and the golf weekend.
- 5:33Of course, it's not verified. All we do know
- 5:36for sure is that Trump was in Ireland, Natalie
- 5:38Harp was in Ireland, Natalie Harp was on the
- 5:40golf course with Trump, and Trump left the golf
- 5:43course with Natalie Harp and got on the Marine
- 5:45One. So whatever happened in between is still
- 5:48forthcoming. Stay tuned on this one. But things
- 5:51got a little weirder yesterday, so this has been
- 5:54brewing on the internet for the last few days
- 5:55since the 9 -11 ceremony in New York. Mom Donnie
- 5:59and Ayo's see were on camera laughing and it
- 6:02caused MAG at a totally spiral. Here's the original
- 6:04video that started the meltdown. And this controversy
- 6:19only got worse when the New York Post put this
- 6:21online and talked about the Democratic socialist
- 6:23darling's mom Donnie and AOC were laughing while
- 6:26victims names were being read. Also, Meghan McCain
- 6:29and Ted Cruz had some tweets and they had some
- 6:31provocative statements as well. But it turns
- 6:33out things are a little bit more complicated
- 6:35than they appear on the face. And CNN actually
- 6:38went back and investigated and put together a
- 6:39clip that's a little bit more illuminating. Extended
- 6:42footage of the same camera appears to show Mamdani
- 6:45looking stoic before the greeting, and both of
- 6:47them return to neutral expressions after the
- 6:49exchange. The camera feed did not pick up audio
- 6:52of their greeting. CNN has reached out to both
- 6:55Mamdani and Ocasio -Cortez for comment. So what
- 6:59looked like a huge controversy turned out to
- 7:01be two people just saying hello. But what shut
- 7:04MAGA up really quickly was this other shot of
- 7:07JD Vance, Howard Lutnick, and Giuliani yucking
- 7:10it up over to the side, appearing to have a great
- 7:12time while the victims' names are being read.
- 7:14But that didn't stop President Trump from weighing
- 7:16in and making his own statements. So Trump thinks
- 7:32it's inappropriate to not be paying attention
- 7:35during 9 -11. Well, actually, I think I've got
- 7:38a clip from him yesterday that might be relevant.
- 7:41Trump couldn't stay awake during the Pentagon's
- 7:439 -11 ceremony yesterday. Although, to be fair,
- 7:46he did seem to open his eyes every time the bell
- 7:48rang. So whoever scheduled those bells during
- 7:51Trump's nap better start updating their resume.
- 7:53At least he was awake for the important parts.
- 7:57Thanks for watching Breaking Absurdity. And remember,
- 8:00don't stare into the abyss alone. Let's do it
- 8:02together. Like, subscribe, and leave a comment
- 8:05below. Let me know what you thought about this
- 8:06episode. I want to hear from you.