Latest / The Daily Sarcast / July 14th, 2026: An 87 Year Old White Castle Closes, Pitbull Sets World Record And Casting Videos

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July 14th, 2026: An 87 Year Old White Castle Closes, Pitbull Sets World Record And Casting Videos · The Daily Sarcast

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  Today is brought to you by being freezing in the air conditioning and needing
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  a jacket when there is an actual heat wave going on outside,
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  so you just have to go outside for two seconds to warm back up.
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  What people see is two seconds of insanity of me arching to the Lord's,
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  yet the days and hours of my reality, nothing is what it seems.
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  Britney Spears on hanging her head outside of a car on the freeway the other day.
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  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
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  I'm Lindsay Bernick, and today is July 14th, 2026.
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  Just so you know, I am not talking about Lindsey Graham today.
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  Gonna let the internet and all the other news cycles do that for me.
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  I don't think that I need to cover that anymore than it already has been.
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  But that being said, who knows what'll happen tomorrow on the Starcast.
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  In real news, one of the oldest White
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  Castle restaurants in the country is officially closing after 87 years.
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  It's not because the restaurant isn't doing well.
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  It's because the actual land that the restaurant sits on is now worth more than
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  the actual restaurant itself. So obviously, like, they have to sell it.
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  This place has literally been around for almost 100 years.
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  But a developer walked by and said yummy burgers would have you considered luxury apartments,
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  white castle said their employees will be offered jobs at nearby locations so
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  that's good news right the bad news is that it's one fewer place where you could
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  spend seven bucks and immediately regret it,
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  it's also a reminder that everything is temporary your favorite bar your favorite
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  diner your favorite drugstore eventually it all just becomes a luxury building
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  with a name like the foundry,
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  and studio apartments start at $5,200 a month.
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  So pour your coffee out this morning for that little square burger that survived
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  wars, recessions, and decades of questionable late night decisions,
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  only to end up losing to the real estate market.
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  Thousands of people gathered in London this week to break a Guinness World Record
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  for the largest gathering of people dressed as Pitbull.
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  Yes, Pitbull the rapper, not Pitbull's like the dog. That would be a lot more chaotic of an event.
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  People showed up wearing ball caps, sunglasses, and the signature Mr. Worldwide look.
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  Thousands of people looked like they
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  were either about to perform Give Me Everything or Sell You a Timeshare.
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  Nowadays, there are not a lot of artists who can inspire thousands of people
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  to be like, you know what? Say, I'm going to shave my head and look like a douchebag
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  so I can look exactly like one of my favorite rappers.
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  This is exactly the kind of thing that the Guinness World Records exists for.
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  Not for like curing diseases or solving world problems.
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  It's just like, how many fake pitbulls can we fit in one place?
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  Pitbull himself has built an entire career around being everywhere.
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  So this is kind of his greatest achievement yet.
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  Mr. Worldwide became Mr. Everybody Wear Sunglasses at the same time.
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  Okay, so there was this golfer in British Columbia, and he had a very unusual opponent this week.
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  And no, it wasn't his own swing.
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  A bear walked onto the golf course, grabbed his bag of clubs,
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  and dragged them away into the woods.
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  Apparently, even the bears are tired of watching people spend four hours looking for their ball.
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  The golfer can literally be heard yelling, Those are my clubs, man!
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  Like he wasn't facing a wild animal and was talking to a guy who borrowed his
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  stuff and never gave it back,
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  like was the bear trying to improve his own game or was he so sick of this golfer
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  not using his very expensive clubs properly that he's like you know what i'm just gonna take them now,
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  i mean these guys will spend thousands of dollars on clubs hoping it'll magically
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  make them better and this bear was just kind of like maybe the problem isn't
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  your equipment maybe it's you.
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  Okay. The golfer did eventually get most of his clubs back, but I think we can
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  all agree the bear won that round or a level or no, wait, isn't it whole?
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  I don't know. So bad at sports and Lindsay life.
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  So as I said, I'm working on this dating show and I've been watching some of
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  the casting videos for the people going on the show,
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  and it's all these girls that are like, oh my god I just like hate dating and
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  can't meet anybody and it's like,
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  not making me cringe because these girls are just so ridiculous it's making
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  me cringe because I was one of those girls and I was that ridiculous.
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  I was doing that same exact shit but like 10 times extra and that got me on
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  the most ridiculous dating show ever which led me to where I am today.
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  Lindsay lessons a lesson by linds. You need to put the time of every event appointment
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  hangout date whatever you're doing you attend in your phone so you're not showing
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  up an hour early or an hour late.
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  Cooking tip of the day make enough to have leftovers so you don't have to cook again.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, and nice Jewish by looking for a date?
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  Email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thanks so much for listening.
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  Talk to you guys tomorrow.