Latest / A Life Without Struggle / You Don't Have All the Time In The World

Transcript

You Don't Have All the Time In The World · A Life Without Struggle

0:01
Speaker 1: My name is Erin Lindauer, and you're listening to A
0:04
Speaker 1: Life Without Struggle. I'm a wife, a mother of two
0:08
Speaker 1: wonderful children, a two-time best-selling author, and a highly driven
0:13
Speaker 1: and successful entrepreneur. In my 17 plus year career as
0:18
Speaker 1: a mindset and health expert, I know what holds women
0:22
Speaker 1: back from a life you only dream about. Whether you're
0:27
Speaker 1: a CEO, a businesswoman or executive, I started this podcast
0:32
Speaker 1: because I have been where you are and I know
0:35
Speaker 1: you want and deserve more out of your life. I
0:38
Speaker 1: believe women are limitless. We just get lost along the way.
0:43
Speaker 1: The process to get you there is the topic and
0:46
Speaker 1: purpose of this podcast. When you understand what you want,
0:50
Speaker 1: you can truly step into a life without struggle. Welcome,
0:56
Speaker 1: and I'm so thankful you're here. Welcome back to another
1:03
Speaker 1: episode of Life Without Struggle. My name is Erin Lindauer,
1:06
Speaker 1: and today is going to get spicy on you. So
1:09
Speaker 1: guess what, ladies? You don't have all the time in
1:12
Speaker 1: the world. Okay. How much longer are you willing to wait?
1:18
Speaker 1: And what if tomorrow's not promised? Okay. So today I
1:23
Speaker 1: want to light a little fire under the ass. All right.
1:26
Speaker 1: Pardon my language, but we're just going to go there today.
1:29
Speaker 1: Full disclosure, I cuss like a sailor. So sorry if
1:31
Speaker 1: that offends anybody, but it's just kind of my thing.
1:36
Speaker 1: But I want to light a fire under your ass
1:38
Speaker 1: today because I want to have a different conversation today. Listen,
1:41
Speaker 1: I've been coaching women long enough. Our business is getting
1:43
Speaker 1: ready to turn 19 years old. And before this business,
1:47
Speaker 1: what's interesting is I actually shared this with another client.
1:50
Speaker 1: I actually had a business prior to this called Concierge Fitness.
1:55
Speaker 1: I used to drive all over the city and personal
1:57
Speaker 1: train clients out of their office, their home, their apartment.
2:01
Speaker 1: And it was probably the worst business plan ever. So anyways,
2:07
Speaker 1: but I have been doing this for a hot minute.
2:10
Speaker 1: But man, there are some characteristics of women that I'm like,
2:13
Speaker 1: what in the world? Like, what in the world? What
2:16
Speaker 1: do I got to do to shake you? Okay, so
2:18
Speaker 1: I want to have a little bit of a different
2:20
Speaker 1: conversation with you here today. Because some of you are
2:23
Speaker 1: acting like you have all the time in the world. Okay.
2:27
Speaker 1: Some of you are just like, whatever, I'm a 30 something.
2:30
Speaker 1: Some of you are in your forties and some of
2:33
Speaker 1: you are in your fifties, just saying like, whatever, I'll
2:35
Speaker 1: figure this out later. Some of you are in your
2:38
Speaker 1: sixties and you're like, damn, I got to get this
2:40
Speaker 1: figured out. And some of you are in your seventies
2:42
Speaker 1: and you're going, holy moly. Okay. I got to get
2:46
Speaker 1: this together. Why do I feel so bad? Okay. Okay.
2:49
Speaker 1: And to my knowledge, I'm not sure if I have
2:50
Speaker 1: anyone listening that's older than that, but I think I
2:53
Speaker 1: covered my bases. Because some of you are acting like
2:56
Speaker 1: you've got all the time in the world. You'll start
2:58
Speaker 1: next Monday. Duh. You'll start after the next vacation. What?
3:04
Speaker 1: After the holidays. That's always my personal fave going into this,
3:07
Speaker 1: you know, time of the year is, oh, I'll wait
3:10
Speaker 1: till after the holidays, Erin. I'll wait till work slows down.
3:15
Speaker 1: I'll wait till the kids get in school or are
3:18
Speaker 1: a little bit older. I'll do this when life isn't
3:21
Speaker 1: so stressful. How about January? Sound good? And I'm always like, no, no.
3:27
Speaker 1: Like the best time to get started was yesterday. The
3:30
Speaker 1: next best time to get started is today. Okay. And
3:33
Speaker 1: I'm going to say something that's going to feel uncomfortable
3:36
Speaker 1: for you is what makes you so sure that you
3:41
Speaker 1: have time. Okay. That one's going to smack you around
3:44
Speaker 1: a bit. And I'm not saying this to scare you,
3:47
Speaker 1: but I'm saying it because your life is happening right
3:51
Speaker 1: now in front of you and you're treating your health
3:55
Speaker 1: like something you'll eventually get around to. Okay. The best
3:59
Speaker 1: time to start taking care of yourself was most likely
4:03
Speaker 1: years and years and years ago. Okay. But we're not
4:06
Speaker 1: going to get that time back. The next best time
4:09
Speaker 1: is now, okay, now. And this, I'm gonna bring this
4:14
Speaker 1: full circle for you today. I'm not talking about crash dieting.
4:18
Speaker 1: And I also wanna talk to the women who are
4:20
Speaker 1: already in progress, who are already down this journey, but
4:25
Speaker 1: maybe you've been chugging when it comes to seeing this
4:28
Speaker 1: weight loss. So I don't mean lose 20 pounds as
4:32
Speaker 1: fast as you possibly can. I mean, make the decision today,
4:37
Speaker 1: that you're done putting it off. You think you're putting
4:42
Speaker 1: off weight loss. No, not even close. So you think
4:47
Speaker 1: this is just another six-month program that I coach and teach.
4:51
Speaker 1: I'll deal with that weight eventually. I had a woman
4:55
Speaker 1: think that all I offer is an app, and I
4:57
Speaker 1: was like, oh, wow, you definitely didn't listen. That's cool.
5:02
Speaker 1: But you're not just postponing weight loss. You're postponing Whether
5:07
Speaker 1: or not you feel confident enough to wear the bathing suit,
5:11
Speaker 1: you're postponing taking the trip and being able to hike,
5:16
Speaker 1: ride the horses, go on the jet skis, do the things, okay?
5:21
Speaker 1: You're hiding all of these cute clothes in your closet
5:26
Speaker 1: that probably cost you some money, honey, okay? You keep
5:32
Speaker 1: saying that you'll lose weight or when I lose weight. Okay,
5:37
Speaker 1: you keep hiding in pictures or you haven't taken the
5:40
Speaker 1: family photos. Okay, you won't wear the sexy dress because
5:46
Speaker 1: it doesn't look good right now. You're uncomfortable just with
5:52
Speaker 1: having intimacy with your own husband because you don't feel
5:56
Speaker 1: good naked. Okay, you wish you had more energy for
6:01
Speaker 1: your kids. That one's not cool. the confidence to walk
6:06
Speaker 1: in a room and immediately you're wondering how you look. Maybe,
6:12
Speaker 1: just maybe, you've even seen opportunities professionally because you don't
6:22
Speaker 1: feel good about you, okay? Maybe you've missed some opportunities
6:27
Speaker 1: because you're not putting the most powerful version of you
6:30
Speaker 1: out there. What the heck, girlfriend? How many things do
6:35
Speaker 1: you want me to list? What are you waiting to
6:40
Speaker 1: do until you finally feel better about yourself? That is
6:45
Speaker 1: the cost. You're not just waiting to lose weight. You're
6:50
Speaker 1: putting pieces of your life on hold. Okay? For what?
6:55
Speaker 1: To have the donut? To have the piece of pizza?
6:58
Speaker 1: Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? And you tell yourself,
7:04
Speaker 1: I'll do it when. So I just want to expose this.
7:08
Speaker 1: When work slows down, when the kids go back to school,
7:11
Speaker 1: after my birthday, it's my birthday month. That's my fave.
7:15
Speaker 1: After vacation, Christmas, come on now. After all the holidays,
7:20
Speaker 1: after a project, things calm down. And here's the problem
7:24
Speaker 1: is your life is actually never going to calm down.
7:26
Speaker 1: There's always going to be something else. There's always going
7:28
Speaker 1: to be a deadline, a trip, a birthday, a problem,
7:31
Speaker 1: a holiday, a reason. You keep waiting for life to
7:35
Speaker 1: create perfect conditions. And guess what? It's never, ever going
7:40
Speaker 1: to happen. Life is not going to do it for you.
7:43
Speaker 1: It hasn't done it for me. okay? You have to
7:47
Speaker 1: learn how to take care of yourself in the life
7:51
Speaker 1: you actually have. Everybody thinks I wake up super motivated
7:56
Speaker 1: every single day. It has been a fair amount of
7:59
Speaker 1: stress here these last few months. And I just being genuine,
8:04
Speaker 1: when I woke up this morning, I was just like, man,
8:06
Speaker 1: like I need to get into this work, right? but
8:10
Speaker 1: I knew I needed to go get my workout in.
8:13
Speaker 1: How much easier would it have been for me to
8:15
Speaker 1: justify that I needed to work, that it was more
8:19
Speaker 1: important than going to the gym? I mean, y'all are
8:23
Speaker 1: with me. You guys all work hard. You guys all
8:26
Speaker 1: have a lot of things on your plate. You understand stress, work, business,
8:31
Speaker 1: all the things. Okay. But you cannot wait for the
8:36
Speaker 1: perfect conditions. You can't wait to magically feel like working out. Okay.
8:42
Speaker 1: And did I have a great workout? No. It was
8:44
Speaker 1: so funny because Tony's like, how's your workout? I'm like,
8:46
Speaker 1: how's your workout? And he was genuine though. He was,
8:50
Speaker 1: and I was being kind of a bitch, but you know,
8:53
Speaker 1: so he was like, how was your workout? And I'm like,
8:56
Speaker 1: it was fine. Like it's done. But And I just
8:59
Speaker 1: said to him, I was like, I'm still working through
9:01
Speaker 1: this stupid injury. For some of you guys, you're new
9:04
Speaker 1: to listening to me, but I just wanna call out,
9:07
Speaker 1: I have been working through a thing since February, okay?
9:12
Speaker 1: So I sublaxed a rib, meaning I pulled a rib
9:15
Speaker 1: out of place And it wasn't so much that that happened,
9:19
Speaker 1: which it was just freak. I don't even know if
9:21
Speaker 1: I could ever recreate what I did, but all of
9:25
Speaker 1: the trauma that that created from a soft tissue. And
9:29
Speaker 1: then also structurally, I did need to be put back
9:32
Speaker 1: in place. And I thankfully went to a much, much
9:36
Speaker 1: better chiropractor here. And it was amazing. Today I went.
9:40
Speaker 1: And he, which P.S. I don't care for chiropractic care.
9:45
Speaker 1: It has a time and place, but I just don't
9:47
Speaker 1: like it. And it was so gratifying laying there on
9:52
Speaker 1: the table or whatever you call it. And he couldn't
9:56
Speaker 1: get a whole lot of movement. Like things were in
9:59
Speaker 1: good alignment. And he was like, man, he goes way
10:03
Speaker 1: to go. He told me, he was like, Hey, I
10:06
Speaker 1: don't actually need to see you. He said, you're holding
10:10
Speaker 1: these adjustments really, really well. And now obviously I resistance train.
10:14
Speaker 1: I know how to take care of myself. Okay. But
10:18
Speaker 1: sometimes you got to get put back in alignment. I
10:20
Speaker 1: totally respect that. And honestly, I only have needed three
10:24
Speaker 1: adjustments and things are getting back. And I even told him,
10:27
Speaker 1: I said, man, the numbing isn't gone, but it's better.
10:31
Speaker 1: I go, my strength isn't perfectly back. but it's better.
10:35
Speaker 1: And this is where I was telling Tony, I said,
10:36
Speaker 1: you know, when I was benching, I put a 30
10:40
Speaker 1: pound dumbbell in my right and my left is the
10:42
Speaker 1: injured side. And I put a 25 pound dumbbell in,
10:47
Speaker 1: you know, that obviously is awkward, but whatever. And so,
10:50
Speaker 1: but it's the best I can do. But today I
10:53
Speaker 1: got it up to 27 and a half on that side.
10:55
Speaker 1: And it absolutely was fatiguing. It's almost wild to feel fatigued.
11:00
Speaker 1: how much nerve damage I actually did. And like it
11:04
Speaker 1: just fatigues and when it fatigues, it's done. And it's
11:08
Speaker 1: so frustrating. Like I cannot tell you how frustrating this
11:12
Speaker 1: injury has been, but anyways, I don't wanna, this is
11:14
Speaker 1: not what this podcast is about. But my point in
11:16
Speaker 1: sharing all that is how many of you guys would
11:19
Speaker 1: have just given up, okay? With something that happened in February, okay?
11:26
Speaker 1: Time of the recording is September, okay? And so, yeah,
11:31
Speaker 1: I've been working through this for a hot minute, but
11:33
Speaker 1: here's the cool thing is it's actually getting better now. Okay.
11:38
Speaker 1: Thankfully the pain went away. Like I think that was
11:40
Speaker 1: within a month, but then I definitely atrophied muscles, meaning
11:44
Speaker 1: I lost muscle. And it just has been a challenge.
11:49
Speaker 1: But how many of you guys with one little setback,
11:52
Speaker 1: your knees hurt, your shoulder hurts, your You're working through
11:56
Speaker 1: your own and now everybody's all safe and healthy. But
11:59
Speaker 1: like how many times have you just let that completely
12:02
Speaker 1: derail you? All right, come on. You're better than that.
12:06
Speaker 1: Me too. And it's frustrating. I feel you, but you
12:10
Speaker 1: keep moving forward. Your instant gratification too is something I
12:15
Speaker 1: want to speak into. Your instant gratification is so flippant expensive. Okay,
12:20
Speaker 1: this is where I'm going to get spicy on you.
12:23
Speaker 1: is every decision has a payoff. The wine tonight, it
12:27
Speaker 1: has a payoff. Skipping the workout has a payoff. Ordering
12:32
Speaker 1: whatever sounds good. That's always a fun one. I'm like, no,
12:35
Speaker 1: this is what's going to nourish your body. Staying up scrolling,
12:40
Speaker 1: come on, ladies, has a payoff. Saying screw it, I'll
12:44
Speaker 1: start on Monday again has a payoff. It feels better
12:49
Speaker 1: right now. And some of you guys, I hate to
12:51
Speaker 1: say it, we're getting soft. We're getting really, really soft
12:55
Speaker 1: as a whole society. Now, whether or not that's intentional,
12:59
Speaker 1: that's a whole nother conversation that I'm happy to have,
13:01
Speaker 1: but like we're getting soft as a society. Your instant
13:06
Speaker 1: gratification is a load of stuff. Okay. So why do
13:12
Speaker 1: we do this? Why do we do this? What is
13:15
Speaker 1: your immediate comfort costing your future self? Because that decision
13:21
Speaker 1: you make, it's not free. Okay, maybe it gives you
13:24
Speaker 1: two hours of quiet time, Erin, but tomorrow you're flipping exhausted.
13:29
Speaker 1: Skipping the workout gives you an hour today, but it's
13:32
Speaker 1: repeated year after year, and what's that cost? Okay, women
13:37
Speaker 1: really don't understand the effect of not sleeping. And now
13:40
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about your hormonal waking up That's a different, okay,
13:44
Speaker 1: but y'all just staying up to stay up and watch
13:47
Speaker 1: another show. Come on, you're better than that. Avoiding those
13:52
Speaker 1: uncomfortable conversations that you feel easier because it's easier today.
13:57
Speaker 1: Like this is one that all the time, I hate
14:03
Speaker 1: having to call women out on overconsumption of food, but
14:07
Speaker 1: unfortunately that's what I do for a living, okay? And
14:10
Speaker 1: some women receive the feedback. They say, cool. They make
14:13
Speaker 1: the changes. Some women will fight me like it's their job.
14:17
Speaker 1: And I never quite understand it, but it's one of
14:20
Speaker 1: those things where I ask myself in the moment, who
14:23
Speaker 1: does this person need me to be her friend or
14:26
Speaker 1: her coach? Okay. I'm going to be your coach. I'm
14:29
Speaker 1: going to have the hard conversation and And nine times
14:32
Speaker 1: out of 10, it comes back and you're like, hey, thanks. Hey,
14:36
Speaker 1: I made some adjustments and guess what? The scale's down.
14:38
Speaker 1: I just literally had this conversation today. And I'm not
14:42
Speaker 1: even kidding you. The second I saw her number on
14:45
Speaker 1: the scale, I was like, hell yes. And I sent
14:48
Speaker 1: her a voice note practically screaming at her, but I
14:50
Speaker 1: was like, I'm so happy. So What are your decisions
14:56
Speaker 1: actually buying you? Because some of you are buying five
15:00
Speaker 1: minutes of comfort with years of frustration. Okay, so stop
15:05
Speaker 1: letting this weight loss take forever. I just stop letting
15:09
Speaker 1: this take forever. So this is where I want to
15:11
Speaker 1: shift this angle to. I know a lot of women
15:14
Speaker 1: who are maybe in this journey. Maybe you're one of
15:16
Speaker 1: my clients. And I want to speak into this from
15:20
Speaker 1: another angle is you did start. Okay. You made a decision.
15:25
Speaker 1: You took the leap of faith. You had hope after
15:29
Speaker 1: talking to me that first time. And you said, cool,
15:32
Speaker 1: I'm going to invest in myself. Okay. You started technically. Okay.
15:38
Speaker 1: But if you've been trying to lose weight for three, four,
15:42
Speaker 1: five years, okay, let's look at what that actually means.
15:47
Speaker 1: Is Monday through Thursday, most likely you're super committed. Friday
15:50
Speaker 1: comes and everything goes to hell. They have the vacation,
15:53
Speaker 1: you have a birthday, there's stress, you need a break,
15:56
Speaker 1: you're back. And the scale, it just isn't moving fast
16:01
Speaker 1: enough to excite you, okay? Then you change strategies. That's
16:05
Speaker 1: always my fave. Then you disappear for two weeks, ghost me.
16:11
Speaker 1: Then you restart. And so yes, you've been on this
16:14
Speaker 1: weight loss journey for multiple years, but have you actually
16:18
Speaker 1: given yourself a meaningful stretch of consistent execution? Because there's
16:24
Speaker 1: a difference between the process taking time And you just
16:30
Speaker 1: dragging this out and it's brutal. Okay. Like, have you
16:35
Speaker 1: ever sat with a child that's learning to read? I
16:39
Speaker 1: don't know about you guys, but OMG, that took a
16:42
Speaker 1: whole nother level of patience. Okay. That's what it's like
16:47
Speaker 1: when I watch women take eternity to lose weight. Because
16:53
Speaker 1: Tony and I have had this conversation over and over again.
16:55
Speaker 1: And he said, what can you tolerate? And I was like, Ooh,
16:59
Speaker 1: that's an interesting stab. And he, I was like, you know,
17:03
Speaker 1: how deep of a deficit is too much. And like,
17:05
Speaker 1: obviously don't starve yourself. That's not what this is about.
17:09
Speaker 1: But he was like, well, what can you tolerate? And
17:11
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's a really great question. I don't know.
17:14
Speaker 1: But I remember when I was going through my whole
17:17
Speaker 1: fat loss journey and it was happening pretty darn quick.
17:22
Speaker 1: And I said, hey, do you think this is a problem?
17:24
Speaker 1: Is it okay? And he was like, no, you've been
17:27
Speaker 1: ready for like five years. You just finally are taking action.
17:32
Speaker 1: Nothing like your husband to like smack you around a
17:34
Speaker 1: little bit. Not really, not physically. I'm just saying like, Yes, he,
17:39
Speaker 1: oh God, this just went wrong 50 different ways. Anyways,
17:43
Speaker 1: you guys know what I mean, but he just was like,
17:45
Speaker 1: you've been taking forever. I'm all red faced and embarrassed
17:48
Speaker 1: if you saw me on camera right now. So stop
17:51
Speaker 1: dragging out the process. So sustainable weight loss does not
17:55
Speaker 1: need to be rushed. So I don't want to give
17:57
Speaker 1: that message, but it doesn't mean that it's going to
18:00
Speaker 1: be like endless and inconsistent. You want to stop confusion, confusing, patience, okay,
18:10
Speaker 1: with procrastination. I remember in fifth grade, I had to
18:14
Speaker 1: write procrastination was the thief of time. I think I
18:18
Speaker 1: had to write it a hundred times. And it was
18:20
Speaker 1: because I forgot my math homework or something. Man, the
18:23
Speaker 1: fact that I still remember that must be interesting. So
18:28
Speaker 1: patience says this takes time and I'm going to keep
18:31
Speaker 1: showing up. Procrastination is saying This takes not time. So
18:36
Speaker 1: today doesn't really matter, does it? That donut today doesn't
18:39
Speaker 1: matter really. And listen, those are completely different. You keep
18:45
Speaker 1: choosing the thing you want now, okay, over the thing
18:50
Speaker 1: you say you want the most. Or some of you
18:54
Speaker 1: have not defined why you even want this, okay? I
18:59
Speaker 1: had to go with a client, very dark energy. because
19:03
Speaker 1: she had been struggling to get over a hump. We
19:08
Speaker 1: found a spot on the scale that she is absolutely comfortable.
19:12
Speaker 1: And hopefully she doesn't mind me sharing this, but I
19:15
Speaker 1: think we had a moment and I think she would
19:17
Speaker 1: agree that she got way too comfortable. Okay. But I
19:21
Speaker 1: started really challenging her and asked her, what is the
19:24
Speaker 1: purpose of this number on the scale? And she was like, man,
19:29
Speaker 1: there's no purpose. And I said, okay, cool. Why are
19:32
Speaker 1: we staying right here? Why are we not making the
19:35
Speaker 1: additional changes? Because we still have a chunk of weight loss.
19:40
Speaker 1: And so when we worked through it, right, this is
19:43
Speaker 1: a very, very common thing that I have women say
19:47
Speaker 1: is they're actually a little nervous about about the outcome. Like,
19:52
Speaker 1: what if people find me more attractive? Well, what if...
19:58
Speaker 1: I look this way and I get more attention, right?
20:02
Speaker 1: And we're used to being the one that doesn't get
20:05
Speaker 1: the attention. And so that can be a very uncomfortable
20:10
Speaker 1: space for a lot of women. And I know personally,
20:14
Speaker 1: even for myself, I was just like, I just, I
20:17
Speaker 1: just got looked up and down and it actually made
20:20
Speaker 1: me like a little uncomfortable because And then what was
20:23
Speaker 1: funny is like, Tony goes, dude, that guy just checked
20:25
Speaker 1: you out. And I was like, why do you think
20:28
Speaker 1: that's okay? And he and I had a very candid conversation.
20:32
Speaker 1: And I hope this is helpful for you is he
20:34
Speaker 1: was like, I kind of sit here and go, hell yes,
20:37
Speaker 1: it's my wife. Right. And obviously we're very confident in
20:42
Speaker 1: each other and our marriage and have a very good marriage. But,
20:48
Speaker 1: but I said, why are you okay with this? And
20:50
Speaker 1: he goes, because you look good. And I was like,
20:53
Speaker 1: but does that? And he goes, no, you're coming home
20:56
Speaker 1: with me. I'm cool. And I was like, all right, okay.
20:59
Speaker 1: But it was like a very good perspective that I,
21:03
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just hadn't really thought about. And
21:06
Speaker 1: I just said to him, I said, you know, I
21:09
Speaker 1: actually appreciate you saying that because I thought you would
21:13
Speaker 1: find that like derogatory. And I'm like, okay. So it
21:17
Speaker 1: really opened my eyes to help women understand that, hey,
21:22
Speaker 1: It's okay. The human nature is that we do desire, okay?
21:28
Speaker 1: We do look at people and we do instantly have
21:32
Speaker 1: an attraction or not, okay? And it's not a bad thing.
21:38
Speaker 1: but we've also deemed it a bad thing, right? And
21:41
Speaker 1: so I think we need to really get back to,
21:44
Speaker 1: it's okay to be attractive. It's okay to be attracted
21:49
Speaker 1: by your partner. I guarantee one of the very first
21:52
Speaker 1: things that was attractive was some physical aspect of your partner, okay?
21:59
Speaker 1: And then yes, all the other things that are absolutely
22:03
Speaker 1: super important, but it's okay to be desired. OK, it's
22:09
Speaker 1: OK for you to feel really good in your own skin.
22:13
Speaker 1: The coolest thing that I see when women lose weight
22:16
Speaker 1: and like literally finally get that weight off their body,
22:20
Speaker 1: their confidence. Now, asterisks is sometimes I get women a
22:25
Speaker 1: little too confident. OK, they get a little cocky with
22:28
Speaker 1: me and I'm always just like, oh, shit, here we go.
22:32
Speaker 1: But it's good. And I've learned to really like navigate
22:34
Speaker 1: that is like they think they got it all figured out.
22:37
Speaker 1: And I'm always just like, all right, girlfriend, rein it
22:40
Speaker 1: back in, keep the weight off for a year, then
22:43
Speaker 1: come talk to me, okay? And so this is where
22:46
Speaker 1: I know that for most women that I coach, I'm
22:49
Speaker 1: going to coach them a good year to two years,
22:51
Speaker 1: and they're going to be good. They're going to be
22:54
Speaker 1: in a really, really good place. And if anything, they're
22:56
Speaker 1: going to go on and inspire other women. And that
22:59
Speaker 1: is what's really, really exciting for me. is to see that,
23:04
Speaker 1: is to see that change. But y'all get a little
23:06
Speaker 1: cocky and I'm just going to be honest with you.
23:08
Speaker 1: It's all good. I know how to handle you, but
23:10
Speaker 1: you think you got it all figured out just because
23:12
Speaker 1: you finally lost weight and I love you for it,
23:15
Speaker 1: but keep it off, prove it, get it off, keep
23:18
Speaker 1: it off, navigate stress, like, and do it and do
23:22
Speaker 1: it really, really well. Okay. So the uncomfortable part is
23:27
Speaker 1: you say you want to be confident, but tonight you
23:31
Speaker 1: deserve the wine. You say you want more energy, but
23:35
Speaker 1: tonight you just don't feel like going to bed. You know,
23:37
Speaker 1: you need that time for you. You say you want
23:39
Speaker 1: to get stronger, but then you're freaking like MIA in
23:42
Speaker 1: the gym or you're absolutely inconsistent. That's not going to work.
23:47
Speaker 1: You say you want to lose the weight, but you
23:49
Speaker 1: want the weekends not to count. Well, that's weird. Okay.
23:53
Speaker 1: None of those individual decisions make you a failure. That's
23:57
Speaker 1: not the point. The point is what pattern are your
24:02
Speaker 1: decisions creating? I pose this either on a podcast or
24:05
Speaker 1: on a coaching call. If I followed you around for
24:08
Speaker 1: the next 14 to 30 days, would I know what
24:11
Speaker 1: your goals are? Would I know what you're doing? What's
24:14
Speaker 1: interesting is the gym that we go to is they're
24:17
Speaker 1: signing people up for like a 30-day challenge, like a
24:19
Speaker 1: habit challenge. And I was just kind of like, hey, no,
24:23
Speaker 1: this is kind of what I do for a living.
24:25
Speaker 1: And so, of course, I obliged to the guy. I stopped,
24:28
Speaker 1: listened to the spiel. And I looked at his chart
24:31
Speaker 1: of all the habits that they wanted you to do.
24:34
Speaker 1: And I said, I literally do all of these. And
24:37
Speaker 1: he just kind of looked at me and did not
24:39
Speaker 1: know what to say. And I was like, hey, this
24:41
Speaker 1: is great. I go, I do this for a living.
24:44
Speaker 1: And I felt bad because I really crushed his feelings.
24:47
Speaker 1: So I want to ask you is what am I
24:49
Speaker 1: repeatedly choosing in the moment that is costing me what
24:54
Speaker 1: I say I want long-term? Now, the key to that
24:58
Speaker 1: sentence is what do you want? Okay. What do you want?
25:02
Speaker 1: Most of you have not taken the time to truly define.
25:05
Speaker 1: You've said, I want to lose weight. Cool. That's not enough.
25:11
Speaker 1: That is not exciting enough. Okay. What do you really,
25:14
Speaker 1: really want? Dig deeper. Like you want to feel confident
25:19
Speaker 1: in your own skin. Cool. All right. I'm going to,
25:23
Speaker 1: I'm going to probably, yeah. Okay. I need to do
25:24
Speaker 1: these things. This crazy woman on the internet says I
25:26
Speaker 1: need to do these things. Cool. Okay. I want all
25:30
Speaker 1: my clothes to fit. I got cute clothes in my
25:32
Speaker 1: closet that cost me a fortune and I can't wear them. Okay, cool.
25:36
Speaker 1: That's the motivation, right? Um, I want to present myself differently.
25:44
Speaker 1: I want other women to be inspired by me. I
25:47
Speaker 1: lead a team, a family, a household. I want my
25:52
Speaker 1: husband to get in better shape. Guess what, ladies? Don't
25:55
Speaker 1: nag at him. Get you in shape. We just had
25:59
Speaker 1: another one of our clients that works with me that
26:03
Speaker 1: her husband is now in the program. And guess what?
26:06
Speaker 1: She's smoking hot. Okay. So again, no husband will let
26:10
Speaker 1: your wife get smoking hot and not work with us.
26:13
Speaker 1: So I just full disclosure, we do work with men,
26:16
Speaker 1: although all my marketing is towards women, but my husband
26:19
Speaker 1: does this too. And so he gets all the men. Okay.
26:23
Speaker 1: So the cost is bigger than your body. This, this
26:27
Speaker 1: is going to get a little bit deeper because I
26:30
Speaker 1: don't want this to sound like lose weight or your
26:33
Speaker 1: life just sucks. I don't, I don't want that. That's
26:36
Speaker 1: not what I'm saying. Your worth isn't determined by your
26:40
Speaker 1: weight either. And you don't need to be thinner to
26:43
Speaker 1: go on vacation. Hey, you don't need abs just to
26:47
Speaker 1: wear the dress. You don't need to lose another 20
26:50
Speaker 1: pounds before you deserve intimacy. And in fact, that's part
26:54
Speaker 1: of my point. Stop waiting. Wear the bathing suit, okay?
27:01
Speaker 1: And every time you wear it, you're like, okay, this
27:03
Speaker 1: is looking just a little bit better. I like this.
27:05
Speaker 1: I like this look, okay? I want you to take
27:08
Speaker 1: the photos. Nobody likes taking the before and after photos.
27:13
Speaker 1: I get it. But I'm going to tell you to
27:16
Speaker 1: take the photo because every time you do and you
27:21
Speaker 1: keep seeing those subtle changes, and I'm always going to
27:24
Speaker 1: tell you, come back to the beginning, look at the current.
27:27
Speaker 1: Back to the beginning, look at the current. You cannot
27:30
Speaker 1: compare last month to this month, especially if you've lost
27:33
Speaker 1: a chunk of weight. They're not going to be that exciting.
27:37
Speaker 1: But when you come from the very, very beginning to now,
27:40
Speaker 1: guess what? Also, I want you to live your life now.
27:47
Speaker 1: If your health matters to you, take care of it now.
27:52
Speaker 1: These things don't happen simultaneously. You don't just say, I'll
27:59
Speaker 1: fix myself and then I'll live, right? No, you got
28:03
Speaker 1: to work through the mud. You have to live the
28:06
Speaker 1: life in the meantime. So take care of yourself while
28:11
Speaker 1: you're living your life. Do the vacations, do the promotions,
28:16
Speaker 1: get after it in all areas, but also take pride
28:20
Speaker 1: knowing you're in progress, right? So there's a price for
28:24
Speaker 1: neglecting yourself. And we constantly talk about the cost of coaching,
28:31
Speaker 1: the cost of the gym, the cost of healthy food,
28:34
Speaker 1: the cost of getting help, but we rarely calculate what
28:40
Speaker 1: is doing nothing costing you. What's another year of low
28:45
Speaker 1: energy worth? What's another year of avoiding the pictures and
28:50
Speaker 1: all those memories gone? What's another year of feeling uncomfortable
28:56
Speaker 1: in your body? What is that doing for you? Another
29:00
Speaker 1: year of breaking all these promises to yourself. Man, this
29:03
Speaker 1: is frustrating. And another year of saying no to experiences
29:07
Speaker 1: because you just don't feel confident. Not cool. Another year
29:11
Speaker 1: of feeling disconnected from your spouse, not cool. Listen, unfortunately,
29:15
Speaker 1: I have to go there with my coaching and it
29:18
Speaker 1: breaks my heart when I know that a marriage could
29:21
Speaker 1: be so much better. And it takes two, right? It
29:24
Speaker 1: takes two to tango. And I can appreciate not being
29:27
Speaker 1: in the best space, but it was half my fault, okay?
29:31
Speaker 1: So what is it costing you putting this off? I'm
29:37
Speaker 1: not telling you the answer has to be higher a coach.
29:40
Speaker 1: I'm telling you doing nothing is still a decision and
29:45
Speaker 1: decisions have consequences. Sometimes the most expensive choice isn't investing
29:52
Speaker 1: in yourself. It's spending another five years waiting. So tomorrow
29:58
Speaker 1: isn't promised ladies. But today is here. And so I
30:03
Speaker 1: want to get away from being so preachy. I know
30:05
Speaker 1: I'm being preachy right now. Someone told me that my
30:09
Speaker 1: coaching messages were like coming to church every week. And
30:12
Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, I am preaching, aren't I?
30:15
Speaker 1: But she was just meaning taking away and applying it
30:18
Speaker 1: to your life and all that good stuff. So I
30:20
Speaker 1: appreciated it. But none of us knows exactly how much
30:23
Speaker 1: time we have. Okay. And You know, it, it, it
30:28
Speaker 1: really hits home when you lose friends really, really young. Okay.
30:32
Speaker 1: Or when you lose your father, you know, we lost
30:36
Speaker 1: a friend to cancer. Gosh, it's almost going to be,
30:38
Speaker 1: I think now four years, which I, I can't even
30:41
Speaker 1: believe that's even gone by. Um, that sucked. Like, it
30:45
Speaker 1: was just like all your traditions, all your things that
30:48
Speaker 1: you did just gone. And just watching, you know, our
30:52
Speaker 1: friend navigate raising two boys on her own. And I'm
30:55
Speaker 1: just like, holy crap. Like, it's just it's not it's
30:59
Speaker 1: not what it's supposed to be. But man, tomorrow's not guaranteed. And,
31:04
Speaker 1: you know, Tony lost his father when he was nine,
31:08
Speaker 1: literally days before Christmas. And, you know, his whole life
31:14
Speaker 1: was completely changed because of that. I guarantee they would
31:19
Speaker 1: have done things differently had they known that that was
31:22
Speaker 1: going to be it. Okay? And I'm not trying to
31:26
Speaker 1: scare you. I want you to be aware of the
31:31
Speaker 1: cost this is costing you. You're supposed to be in
31:36
Speaker 1: this present. So think how casually we give away years.
31:44
Speaker 1: I'll do that someday. I'll wear that when. I'll take
31:48
Speaker 1: care of myself when. Someday isn't a day on your calendar, okay?
31:54
Speaker 1: Today is. You have today and you have a decision
31:58
Speaker 1: to make. You have a decision to make to go
32:00
Speaker 1: get your damn steps in, okay? You have a decision
32:04
Speaker 1: that you can make to go get your workout in,
32:07
Speaker 1: pretty please, consistently, over and over and over again, guess what,
32:10
Speaker 1: for the rest of your life. You guys are like, oh, crap.
32:15
Speaker 1: put the grocery order in. I swear to all goodness,
32:19
Speaker 1: poor Tony, I made him go to the grocery store
32:21
Speaker 1: because I couldn't get our groceries. For whatever reason, it
32:23
Speaker 1: was like a two-day ship. Come on now. I was like,
32:28
Speaker 1: when did this happen? And I was like, hey man,
32:32
Speaker 1: just being honest, I'm going to need you to go
32:33
Speaker 1: to the grocery. And he was like, now I know
32:36
Speaker 1: why you don't go to the grocery. And I was
32:38
Speaker 1: like fretting the whole time. I'm like, is he going
32:40
Speaker 1: to pick all the right things? And I literally like
32:43
Speaker 1: made him an Amazon cart with all of my stuff.
32:46
Speaker 1: And I was like, just follow this list. And this
32:50
Speaker 1: funny part is he took Liv and Liv knew her
32:52
Speaker 1: way around the grocery store better than he did. So
32:57
Speaker 1: you have a decision today to order the damn groceries,
33:01
Speaker 1: go to bed at a reasonable hour. Hey, you know,
33:04
Speaker 1: go to the doctor's appointment that you've been avoiding. Hey,
33:08
Speaker 1: how about this one? Asking for help. signing up for something,
33:13
Speaker 1: setting a boundary at work, taking the picture, putting on
33:17
Speaker 1: the swimming suit, making love to your spouse, okay? You
33:22
Speaker 1: don't have to transform your life today. You just have
33:25
Speaker 1: to stop postponing it today. Stop waiting for the feelings.
33:30
Speaker 1: Stop waiting to feel magically ready. Like, that's not happening.
33:35
Speaker 1: Motivation isn't gonna magically arrive on your doorstep on Tuesday
33:39
Speaker 1: and say, let's go work out, okay? It just simply means, hey,
33:43
Speaker 1: I'm tired of living like this and so I'm gonna
33:46
Speaker 1: make a decision first. Let your feelings catch up later, okay?
33:50
Speaker 1: Leave your emotions at the door. Doesn't mean don't have them,
33:54
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that, but if you're waiting for the feeling,
33:57
Speaker 1: it is not coming, okay? You just need to do
34:01
Speaker 1: the things because it's on your daily checklist and that's
34:04
Speaker 1: what we're doing. Okay. Action creates evidence and evidence creates
34:11
Speaker 1: the belief. Sometimes you're going to have to borrow my belief. Okay.
34:19
Speaker 1: Because some of you have been trying and failing at
34:22
Speaker 1: this so many times you can't, you can't even comprehend. Okay.
34:27
Speaker 1: But you can borrow my belief and you can see
34:31
Speaker 1: these results. I have a lot of clients that come
34:34
Speaker 1: in my program and they're just like, I can't lose weight.
34:38
Speaker 1: And I know the instant someone says, I can't lose weight,
34:41
Speaker 1: you're my girl. I'm going to be able to help you.
34:44
Speaker 1: We just haven't had the right strategy in place. So
34:49
Speaker 1: one word of caution is I don't want you to
34:51
Speaker 1: try to change everything today. And here's where I don't
34:56
Speaker 1: want you to misunderstand me is urgency does not mean extremes.
35:02
Speaker 1: So this is for some of my ladies out there
35:05
Speaker 1: that get a little extreme on me is I said 10,000 steps,
35:09
Speaker 1: not 20,000 steps. I, you know, I've had to like, Hey,
35:14
Speaker 1: that rep scheme. Yes. That's what I want you to do.
35:17
Speaker 1: Not less, not more. Okay. What I put in there,
35:21
Speaker 1: that's what I want you to do. Okay. It's okay
35:22
Speaker 1: to ask, like, I totally respect that. Like, Hey, why
35:25
Speaker 1: are we doing it this way? Cool. Got it. But
35:28
Speaker 1: if I said 12, I said 12. Just kidding. But
35:32
Speaker 1: don't leave this podcast saying, you know what? I'm just
35:35
Speaker 1: going to eat a thousand calories. Aaron said, what could
35:37
Speaker 1: I tolerate? Well, that's not cool. Okay. Like that's not
35:41
Speaker 1: how we do this. Or I'm going to do two
35:44
Speaker 1: a day workouts. This is another thing. Don't add to
35:46
Speaker 1: your workouts. We don't need to add any exercises if
35:50
Speaker 1: I didn't prescribe them. Also, I didn't say no carbs.
35:53
Speaker 1: I didn't say never have a drink again. I didn't
35:57
Speaker 1: say you got to go hard seven days a week.
35:59
Speaker 1: That's not what I'm looking for. That's not urgency. That's panic. Okay.
36:04
Speaker 1: I'm asking for something much harder. I'm asking for a decision,
36:10
Speaker 1: a commitment, the consistency, the patience. You don't have to
36:17
Speaker 1: do everything today, but you have to stop doing nothing.
36:24
Speaker 1: You can't wait and listen to another podcast to fire
36:27
Speaker 1: you up and get you going. Maybe you've spent the
36:33
Speaker 1: last five years saying, I need to get serious about
36:36
Speaker 1: my health. Well, when? Monday, January, another birthday, another 10 pounds,
36:42
Speaker 1: another year. At some point, you have to stop acting
36:45
Speaker 1: like you have an unlimited supply of tomorrows. not because
36:51
Speaker 1: you should be terrified of getting older. That's not my point.
36:55
Speaker 1: Not because your life isn't valuable. Not that you should
36:59
Speaker 1: be terrified of getting older. I was watching these cute
37:02
Speaker 1: women in the, in the locker room this morning when
37:05
Speaker 1: I was getting ready and they had just come out
37:08
Speaker 1: of water aerobics, which I have such an affinity to
37:11
Speaker 1: water aerobics. That was literally what got me into, uh,
37:14
Speaker 1: switching my major to exercise science is I started, uh,
37:19
Speaker 1: teaching a splash and dash. And I was certified through
37:21
Speaker 1: the Arthritis Foundation. And it was actually really cool. I
37:24
Speaker 1: had a lot of older women feel so much better
37:27
Speaker 1: because they would get in a 90 degree pool and
37:30
Speaker 1: it just really helped their arthritis, their joints. And as
37:33
Speaker 1: a byproduct, you can actually create some good resistance. And
37:37
Speaker 1: so they were talking in the gym and I just
37:41
Speaker 1: loved seeing that they were taking care of themselves. And
37:44
Speaker 1: these women were well into their probably 70s maybe 60s, 70s,
37:50
Speaker 1: and maybe even a little bit older. You never know
37:52
Speaker 1: these days. And I just thought it was so incredible
37:56
Speaker 1: that here they are taking care of themselves, going and
37:59
Speaker 1: doing what's appropriate for them today. And they're still moving
38:03
Speaker 1: their bodies and all the health benefits and things that
38:06
Speaker 1: that's going to do for them. Because at some point,
38:09
Speaker 1: it's your activities of daily living. Can you get up
38:12
Speaker 1: out of the sofa? Can you step down from the curb? Okay,
38:18
Speaker 1: like nobody understands how challenging that is until you don't
38:22
Speaker 1: have it. Okay, so this is why this is a wash, rinse, repeat,
38:27
Speaker 1: because at some point you have to stop acting like
38:30
Speaker 1: there's an unlimited supply of tomorrows. It's okay to get older,
38:35
Speaker 1: but your life is valuable. Your health is valuable. Your
38:38
Speaker 1: marriage is valuable. Your experiences are valuable and you are valuable.
38:43
Speaker 1: And you don't wanna wake up five years from now
38:46
Speaker 1: And say, man, I knew what I wanted to change.
38:50
Speaker 1: I just kept waiting to feel ready. The best time
38:54
Speaker 1: to start may have been yesterday. You don't have yesterday anymore.
39:00
Speaker 1: It's gone. You have today. No more Mondays. No more
39:04
Speaker 1: waiting for motivation. No more waiting for life to calm down.
39:08
Speaker 1: Stop now. waiting until you hate your body enough to
39:13
Speaker 1: finally do something. Man, that one like pisses me off.
39:17
Speaker 1: Like quit waiting until you're so freaking frustrated. Okay. And
39:23
Speaker 1: stop believing you need to become perfect before you start
39:27
Speaker 1: living your life. Live your life now. Start taking care
39:31
Speaker 1: of yourself now. Live your life now. Start becoming her now.
39:35
Speaker 1: But we gotta stop all these stories and misinformation that
39:40
Speaker 1: you're putting in that beautiful noggin of yours. Because the
39:44
Speaker 1: real cost of waiting isn't another month without losing weight.
39:49
Speaker 1: It's another month of your life that you don't get back.
39:53
Speaker 1: So buckle up the nutrition, okay? It's really not that hard.
40:00
Speaker 1: It's saying, you know what? I don't need the ice cream.
40:04
Speaker 1: You know what? Dang, these goals are so flippin' important
40:09
Speaker 1: to me. And sometimes you gotta write them down and
40:11
Speaker 1: read them. Sometimes you gotta post them on the fridge.
40:14
Speaker 1: Sometimes you gotta say, hey, And you have to talk
40:18
Speaker 1: to yourself out loud and say, I don't want this.
40:22
Speaker 1: But you keep doing it because some of these behaviors
40:25
Speaker 1: are so unconscious. So if you truly understood that your
40:34
Speaker 1: time was valuable, what would you stop putting off today?
40:39
Speaker 1: And I want you to go do that.