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Transcript

I almost quit everything (again) · Mom Gone Mild

• 0:05
  Hey guys, this is Mom gone mild. I'm your host Lex, if you're new
• 0:10
  here, welcome. If you have been through it with
• 0:14
  me since episode 1, welcome back babes.
• 0:17
  Hope you had an amazing week. Grab a coffee, adult beverage or
• 0:22
  Chris, ask Coke Zero and please have one for me.
• 0:25
  Today's episode I get real. But then again when don't I?
• 0:29
  I'm going to be so honest with you guys and I say this because
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  I want to be real. I'm not sugar coating shit.
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  You guys know I never do and I just.
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  I can't be the only one who feels like this.
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  I hope. Please tell me I'm not the only
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  one. I wanted to quit.
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  I wanted to quit everything. 75 hard, my routine, even this
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  podcast. And it's crazy because this is
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  exactly the point where I've always given up on myself.
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  All right, confession. I had lost 10 lbs and then I got
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  on the scale and I was up three. Technically, I'm still down
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  seven. I am in the middle of 75 hard.
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  I'm on day 25. But I just sat there like,
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  what's the point? Like seriously, what's the
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  point? This is exactly.
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  This is just the exact moment I always quit.
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  I might as well just enjoy a pizza because if I'm being
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  really honest, I have a really unhealthy relationship with
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  food. Food is my comfort.
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  When I'm stressed, overwhelmed, emotional, mad, happy, I want to
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  eat. Maybe you can relate, maybe you
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  can't. But that's my truth.
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  And I'm going to be so real because I don't think many
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  people are. They pretend that 75 hard was
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  this aesthetic perfect change in their life.
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  Like, no, I want a damn BBQ chicken pizza so bad.
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  And yeah, you guys are probably like, what the heck, Like it's
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  just 75 days, but it is a change.
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  It's something that I have dealt with my whole life.
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  But we're not going to do that. We're not going to get the damn
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  pizza because I literally only have 50 days left.
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  And I'm also the type of person that I don't know if you guys
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  are like this, but I need instant results.
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  Like if I don't see something happening fast, I start to
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  spiral. And the crazy part is I do see
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  changes in my body. I do feel different.
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  Like I said, my mental health has gotten better, just my
• 2:40
  overall energy. But I grew up thinking that what
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  matters most is the number on the scale.
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  And that mindset is so unhealthy.
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  I am going to be super real. I weigh myself every morning and
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  when you're in that mindset, it's just, it just puts you in a
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  dark place when you don't see a difference.
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  And I'm trying, I really am trying to be positive, to love
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  my body, to appreciate where I'm at, to appreciate that it gave
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  me a beautiful baby boy. But fuck, it's hard.
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  It's so much easier to just give up.
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  Like that would be the easy thing to do right now, but I'm
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  not. I'll show up, I'm showing up.
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  I used to be the girl who always started but never finished.
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  New diet I'm in, new routine, I'm motivated for like 5 days.
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  Then something would happen. The scale wouldn't move fast
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  enough, I'd feel tired, life would get overwhelming as it
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  does and I'd quit. And when I say I used to quit on
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  myself, I mean it became a pattern.
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  Like I already knew how my story was going to go before it even
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  happened. I'd get excited, start something
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  new, feel motivated, and then the second it got even a little
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  bit hard, I was already mentally checked out.
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  And I think the hardest part to admit is honestly, I stopped
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  trusting myself because how many times can you tell yourself this
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  time it's different and then still quit?
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  It gets to a point where you don't even believe your own
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  promises anymore, and that does something to you mentally.
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  You start identifying as someone who doesn't follow through.
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  And that's such a hard place to be.
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  And I think a lot of my struggle really comes from my
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  relationship with food, because food isn't just food for me.
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  It's comfort, it's reward. It's how I cope if I had a long
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  day, if I want to eat, if I'm stressed, if I want to eat and
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  celebrate. And yeah, if like, you know, we
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  get a promotion or something good happens in the house, I
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  want to go out, have a just celebrate with a nice meal.
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  And I've realized I don't always eat because I'm hungry.
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  I because I'm feeling something. And that's been one of the
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  hardest things to unlearn because it's not just about
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  willpower, it's about emotions. And nobody really teaches you
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  how to deal with that. So you just kind of fall into
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  the same cycle over and over again.
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  And yeah, hell, even with this podcast, I'm going to be so real
• 5:28
  with you guys. I see my views, and they're not
• 5:31
  going up how I want them to. And please, please, please don't
• 5:34
  get me wrong. When I see my loyal supporters,
• 5:37
  I get so excited. I love you guys.
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  Like, that means everything to me.
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  But it is discouraging sometimes not seeing new people come in,
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  feeling like I'm trying and trying and it's just not growing
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  fast enough. And I start getting in my head,
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  like, what am I doing wrong? Do people even like me?
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  Is this even worth it? And I just think what makes it
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  harder is we live in a world where everything feels like it
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  should happen fast, instant gratification.
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  Like, if something doesn't go, like, grow right away, we think
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  it's just not working. And I've caught myself
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  comparing. I know, I know comparing
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  numbers, views, followers. And it'll mess with your head if
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  you let it. Just when you get a like, you
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  know, you're just so into it, you're happy.
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  It's just that happiness goes away because you want more
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  likes. And yeah, you just start
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  thinking, why not me? But what people don't see is the
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  consistency behind the scenes, the days you don't feel like
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  showing up, but you still do. The episodes you record, you're
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  not in the mood, the effort. That doesn't always get like,
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  immediate recognition. And trust me, I know not every
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  episode has been amazing, but I still show up.
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  And that's the part that actually matters.
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  But then I remember the messages, the DMS, the people
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  who tell me this episode hit home.
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  I've always felt this but never knew how to say it.
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  And I don't know, I have to push those negative just thoughts
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  down because even if it's just you and me talking, that's
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  enough. I didn't start this podcast to
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  be famous. I mean, yeah, that would be
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  cool, I'm not going to lie, but that's not why I started.
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  I started this for my mental health.
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  And in doing that, I've been able to help other people too,
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  and that means more than any number ever could.
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  So let me ask you something and be real, because I'm being real.
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  How many times have you started over?
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  Like really think about it. How many Mondays?
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  How many this time it'll be serious?
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  How many times have you been so motivated just to end up right
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  back where you started? Because I know I'm not the only
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  one. And I think we're all just tired
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  of restarting, tired of quitting on ourselves, tired of feeling
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  like we're stuck in the same cycle.
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  And maybe it's not that we need a new plan.
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  Maybe we just need to stop giving up.
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  And I feel like this episode is super important because there
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  are so many of us who just give up on ourselves.
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  It's easy. Yeah.
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  Quitting is easy. The hard part is feeling like
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  this, this exact moment and still choosing to keep going.
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  So I want to share a few things that have kind of been working
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  on me, but I don't know Because listen, I can be a fucking brat.
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  I have an attitude, I get overwhelmed, I get emotional,
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  I'm human and I'm always going to be real with you guys on
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  that. But these three habits I've been
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  trying to change that have honestly should help shift my
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  mindset and maybe they'll help you too. 1st, when I'm mad or
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  overwhelmed, I take a minute to myself.
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  I step away, get some fresh air. Just breathe.
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  Because when you're upset, when we're upset, I don't know if you
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  guys do this, but I know I do. I say things I don't mean.
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  We react instead of respond, and that just makes everything
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  worse. Second, speak up.
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  Don't let things pile up. I'm so guilty of this.
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  I'm so used to doing everything myself and expecting things to
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  be done in a certain way. And when they're not, I hold it
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  in until of course, I explode. And that's not healthy.
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  So I'm learning to speak up in the moment to say how I feel
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  before it turns into something bigger.
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  And third, speak positively. I'm really working on this one.
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  Speak what you want to receive. Because I've noticed I don't
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  know about you guys, but when I'm negative, everything around
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  me feels negative. But when I shift my mindset,
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  even just a little, things start to feel lighter.
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  Is it perfect? No Is it always going to work?
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  No Am IA life guru that knows the secrets of life and I'm
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  trying to just teach you no, but it helps.
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  And the world is already such a negative ass place, we don't
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  need to add more to it ourselves.
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  And maybe I'm not where I want to be yet, but at least I'm not
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  the version of me that keeps quitting anymore.
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  I may not be perfect, but I'm consistent now and that's just
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  something I've never been before.
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  So if you're in a place right now where you feel like quitting
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  your goals, your routine, yourself, I get it.
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  I'm literally there with you. But maybe this is the moment
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  that matters. Not when everything is going
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  right, not when you feel motivated.
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  But right here, when it's hard, when you want to give up and you
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  choose not to. All right, guys, that's this
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  episode. So please, please, please, like,
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  comment, subscribe, share this with someone who might need to
• 11:08
  hear this today. And like always follow me on
• 11:11
  Instagram at Mom gone mild under Score podcast where we have our
• 11:15
  daily content, 75 heart check insurance, some giveaways might
• 11:20
  be coming soon and have an amazing week.
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  But before I go, I have a little task for you, just a little one.
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  This ain't homework. This ain't like school where you
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  have to do it. But this has helped me a lot.
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  Write down or put just in your phone notes.
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  One thing you're grateful for today.
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  Just one. So like today I'm grateful for,
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  of course, my family. They're the most important thing
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  to me, but my health and having the ability to do better each
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  day. So if you've ever felt like
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  quitting, this one's for you. OK guys, thank you guys so much
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  for letting me vent. You guys are literally my free
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  therapy weekly and I love you guys.
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  Same time, same place next week.