Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 652: What Happens When You Respond To Breadcrumbs From Your Ex?

Transcript

Episode 652: What Happens When You Respond To Breadcrumbs From Your Ex? · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  What happens when you respond to an ex's bread crumbs if you want
• 0:05
  them back? Well, I have a testimonial from
• 0:08
  someone who did respond. Did he get his ex back?
• 0:13
  Did he not get his ex back? Stay tuned and you'll find out.
• 0:17
  Hi, this is Lucia with the art of Love.
• 0:20
  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
• 0:22
  you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
• 0:25
  And welcome back, my beautiful No Contact Army.
• 0:28
  Hopefully you've been a good little soldier and you've
• 0:31
  downloaded my app Silencio. If you haven't already.
• 0:34
  To stay in No contact, the link is underneath every single video
• 0:37
  and podcast. And if you too would like to
• 0:39
  join our No Contact army, all you have to do is hit the
• 0:43
  subscribe button and the bell notification and you're in.
• 0:48
  And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
• 0:52
  can read 2 free chapters before you purchase the book.
• 0:56
  OK, so I have a very long comment here from someone, but I
• 1:00
  think will be very helpful to everyone, especially to those
• 1:03
  who are confused as to whether they should be responding to
• 1:06
  bread crumbs or not. So here we go.
• 1:09
  Hi Lucia, my name is Victor. I'm a lawyer from Brazil and a
• 1:13
  huge fan of your work. Thank you.
• 1:17
  OK, English is not my first language.
• 1:18
  OK? Don't worry about it.
• 1:19
  My ex came back after 11 months apart.
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  Two weeks after we broke up. She ended up in a rebound
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  relationship from day one. I started no Contact.
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  Good for you. But I responded to every
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  breadcrumb breadcrumb she gave me.
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  Bad for you. Even when she was with the
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  rebound, she always texted me, called me, and never left my
• 1:41
  life for a good. Sometimes she texted me with the
• 1:46
  rebound in her house. Damn talk about disrespectful.
• 1:50
  I think at that time she never spent more than 10 days without
• 1:53
  contacting me. Yeah, she wanted to make sure
• 1:55
  you weren't going anywhere. And she certainly did a good job
• 1:58
  of that, I think at that time. Yes, I already read that.
• 2:02
  OK. In the other, on the other hand,
• 2:04
  I started working on myself, did a few new courses while I was
• 2:07
  hired by big law firm here in Rio de Janeiro.
• 2:11
  Congratulations. Started hitting the gym and
• 2:14
  transformed my body in an amazing way.
• 2:17
  That, of course, brought attention from other women.
• 2:20
  OK, again with the working out after a breakup, why aren't
• 2:25
  y'all working out in your relationships?
• 2:28
  I know some of you are, probably most of you are, but it seems
• 2:31
  after a breakup people start working out afterwards.
• 2:34
  Can can someone just comment below and say why?
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  Why? You're not supposed to stop
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  doing what you naturally do just because you get into a
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  relationship? You're still supposed to have
• 2:45
  your own life, So if you were working out before, there's no
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  reason you should have stopped. And if you weren't working out
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  before, well, there's no reason why you shouldn't start.
• 2:56
  So I just hear this so many times.
• 2:58
  Well, after the breakup, I started working out.
• 3:00
  OK, let's all start working out now.
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  How about that? OK, not only that, I started to
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  work on the inside also. At first I was doing that to
• 3:13
  impress her, but I fell in love with the process of becoming the
• 3:16
  best version of myself. Yeah, exactly.
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  That's what happens. Her rebound lasted 5 months when
• 3:22
  they broke up after New Year's, she told me and my anxiety went
• 3:26
  through the roof. I thought that was my chance to
• 3:29
  win her back. I hired a relationship coach in
• 3:33
  Brazil to help me in the process.
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  He told me that I should be her friend again and slowly start to
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  come back to her life so she can see that I changed.
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  Oh no. Oh no.
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  If only I listen to you. Yeah.
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  We started to spend hours on the phone.
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  I did a video about that and I'll put the link in the upper
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  right hand corner texting each other every day.
• 3:59
  EW. Hanging out together as friends.
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  EW. I did that for almost 3 months.
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  EW. Double EW.
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  What did that give me? Nothing.
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  Really. Gee, what a surprise.
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  You didn't get your ex back from doing that.
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  No, no, I'm shocked. I'm so shocked.
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  One day we had a conversation that did not end well.
• 4:21
  Of course I wanted more from her, but she didn't.
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  And that day I was done EFF it. I felt like I was broken again.
• 4:30
  Never again will someone make me feel that way.
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  On that day, I decided to listen to you and follow your strategy
• 4:36
  to the fullest. Well, it's about time.
• 4:39
  At that point, I thought, what have I got to lose?
• 4:41
  Yeah, exactly. You tried all the wrong
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  strategies. How about trying the right one?
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  So clearly the strategy my coach gave me wasn't working.
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  Yeah, clearly I fired him, stopped looking at her stories,
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  Never again reply to her bread crumbs.
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  And Jesus, she gave me a lot of bread crumbs.
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  She was watching every story I made.
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  Almost immediately she started liking my posts, sent me DMS
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  memes, and I never replied to none of them.
• 5:08
  I was focusing on myself again, dating other women and living my
• 5:11
  best life. A few months later, the
• 5:15
  escalation that you talk about in your videos start to happen.
• 5:18
  She called me one day and I did not answer.
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  After a few months of real no contact, she sent me a message
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  saying that she wanted to talk. I responded one day later.
• 5:28
  Good for you. You've been listening with just
• 5:31
  about what she said, Talk about us.
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  We talked for hours. See, when she said talk about
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  us, I would have said what about us?
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  I would have made it that easy. It's like, yeah, what about us?
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  But anyways, it's it's fine. So we talked for hours about
• 5:47
  ourselves and what we did wrong in the previous relationship.
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  We talked about what we learned in the time we were apart and
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  decided to try again. If this new relationship works,
• 5:56
  good. If it doesn't, I know I'll be
• 5:59
  all right. But man, if only had listened to
• 6:01
  you first, probably I would have gotten her back a lot sooner and
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  saved a lot of money. Yeah, that's the problem.
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  Because even if you do respond to bread crumbs and you get them
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  back, you prolong the time it takes to get them back.
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  You could have had her back a lot sooner if you had not
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  responded, and you would have had more money if you hadn't
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  listened to the other coach there in Brazil.
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  To everybody who's listening to this believe in no contact,
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  believe the Shia strategy. This woman is giving us golden
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  advice here for free and cheers. So I know that I am probably the
• 6:42
  only expat coach saying to not respond to bread crumbs, and I
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  keep emphasizing that fact because nothing good comes from
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  responding to bread crumbs. It certainly doesn't help you
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  get your ex back. It might temporary relieve your
• 6:57
  anxiety because you're in contact with them and you get
• 7:00
  your little dopamine hit and you think, oh, we might get back
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  together. But guess what?
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  You're lowering your chances. Or if you do get back together,
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  as I said, you're prolonging the time it takes to get back
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  together. But if you don't believe me,
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  hey, you are free to do what you want.
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  You're free to respond to bread crumbs and let's see what
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  happens. So now I want to hear from you.
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  Please comment below. Besides telling me why people
• 7:24
  aren't working out when they're in relationships.
• 7:27
  Also let me know if you responded to bread crumbs and
• 7:31
  what happened. And if you didn't respond to
• 7:33
  bread crumbs and what happened. And if you would like my help to
• 7:37
  get your ex back, you can contact me at theartoflove.net.
• 7:41
  The direct link is below every single video and podcast.
• 7:43
  We do not post erase on the website.
• 7:46
  If you're if you found this video helpful, please like,
• 7:48
  subscribe and share. If you're listening to this as a
• 7:51
  podcast, please rate and review. And finally, remember that love
• 7:55
  inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.