Latest / The MysticWithin Podcast / Ep. 4: When Did Life Get So Serious? (The Power of Prioritizing Fun)
Transcript
- Vanessa: When was the last time you ran down a hill? Or did a cannonball in a pool? When did calories become so important? And now why do you feel guilty every time you have a cupcake? When did we start getting so weirded out when the person next to us in line makes small talk? When did coloring outside of the lines incriminate us? When did we start complaining about everything? And when did we get so serious? To put it plainly, what happened to fun in this world? The thing I wanted to be the most as a kid was an adult. I wanted nothing more than to wear high heels every single day and talk on a cell phone with an antenna. obviously those were the only two requirements to becoming a functioning adult when you're six years old. But Being an adult always sounded better in some way. But I feel like I've been humbled as times passed. As an adult now, there's nothing I want to be more than a child. No responsibilities, someone who takes care of you and all of your needs and wants, riding my bike around the neighborhood, not knowing what fiber is. I don't want to be worried if something I eat today is gonna bloat me tomorrow morning. And yet adults do. I want to giggle with my friends until the street lights come on And I want to sleep over at my grandma's house again. Children are seen as lesser in this world. They know less than adults and they don't have autonomy. They're here as a new being and they don't know the rules yet. And adults, well, we have to teach them. But maybe we have that backwards in some type of way. It's the same reason why children make incredible teachers for adults. They're limitless. They don't have barriers around them. In a child's mind, there's Nothing's stopping them from exploring and being curious because that's exactly what they're supposed to be doing. Fueled by that curiosity, children question everything and they use play to discover things about themselves, about the people around them, and this new world that they're a part of. Today, we're going to talk about when joy stopped being fuel for our lives, how childhood can act as the greatest teacher of all, and why the return to fun is actually vital for a wonderful and healthy life. I am Vanessa, and this is the Mystic Within Podcast, a podcast designed for women reconnecting with their inner power, their purpose, and their intuition. One honest conversation at a time. Let's get into the topic at hand. Fun is the forgotten child of society. When did we actively choose to abandon her? And better yet, why do we feel like we need to choose between having fun and living a full life? Because they aren't mutually exclusive. for the past few months, I've been really thinking about this topic because fun is villainized in society. You're seen as immature if you want to play or prioritize things that bring you pleasure over productivity. There's this one quote and story that really grasps what I'm trying to communicate in this episode. And I feel like I'd be doing a disservice if I didn't share it. It's a little story by author Kurt Van Gutt on telling his wife he's going out to buy an envelope. I'm gonna read it to you now. she says, Well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in a closet? And so I pretend not to hear her and go out to get an envelope because I'm gonna have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people and see some great looking babies, and a fire engine goes by and I give them the thumbs up, and I'll ask a woman what kind of dog that is, and and I don't know. The moral of the story is We're here on earth to fart around. And of course the computers will do us out of that. And what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals, you know? We love to move around. And it's like we're not even supposed to dance anymore. I find that so wonderful. It's such a short yet impactful message. All wrapped up in a perfect little envelope. We are here to just fart around. And we're losing sight of what feels natural for humans to do. We're meant to explore. We're meant to be curious and laugh and talk to strangers who might turn out to be something more. And we're meant to eat yummy foods. And we're meant to do meaningful work and be a part of a community and read really good books and read really bad books and listen to each other and dance to music and love one another. we have to abandon enjoyment in place of efficiency. But humans are not designed to be 100% efficient. We need to feel the grass beneath our feet and we need to eat chocolate cake. It's just what we're meant to be doing. And we're meant for so much more than productivity. And that's why we feel so burnt out every day of our lives. We're getting to a point in time where if you aren't participating in something that will have a profitable outcome or make you feel productive, then it's considered a waste of time. But it's biologically essential for us to be prioritizing play at all ages, not just children. Adults need play as well. And if anything, it's more important. And we're meant to move through this life with joy at the forefront. And this brings me to my first point. When did Joy move to this metaphorical backburner? Our daily lives are beginning to feel like something we have to do rather than the privilege we get to exist blissfully within. The moment we open our eyes, we've begin dreading the next 15 hours of our day. And that feels sad to me. That doesn't feel like a life that is exciting to live. From six AM to eight PM, we exist purely to come home and do it all over the next day. We feel guilty taking time off of a job that takes most of our energy or beg for 15 minutes more of sleep because we're denying our bodies the rest it is needing. We can't even buy a $5 coffee anymore. Maybe perhaps that's the only joy in somebody's day without being told we should skip it to invest in our retirement fund. Then you retire with all this sacrificial money and don't even know what to spend it on because. You don't know what makes you happy. That is dramatic and I'll admit that, but I don't like hearing about people or seeing people resist simple pleasures in life. I saw hope in humanity's eyes during a time that rhymes with Schmovid. I don't even want to say it out loud, it's like Voldemort. But during lockdown, I saw people wake up to the fact that they were exhausted. Exhausted by the constant demands of their routines or the constant demand of productivity. I was hearing birds chirping. The environment was coming back to life. People were getting into hobbies that they didn't even know they had an interest in, all because they had the time to do it. And they prioritized it. There was nothing else to do. They were absolutely horrible circumstances on why we were there, but it was an interesting byproduct of a worldwide pause. We needed a pause, and I just wish it didn't come in that way. A few years later, now, post-pandemic, I'm I'm seeing that loop happen again. We're becoming lost regarding how to be efficient versus what actually brings us joy and how do we want to exist in this world. Now, I don't want this episode to become idealistic, like everyone has to go quit their job and go frolic in a field. No, but this is a wake up call. And it's bringing a new perspective to happiness in our lives. If you even think that this episode is about being frivolous, then I am speaking to you directly. when did prioritizing joy become criminal? And I understand it might sound frivolous, but why? It's not hedonistic to want to feel the sun on your face. It's human. And we're being told that there's things that are more important than pursuing those human moments. And mostly because there's a profit at the end of it. Anyone who has regrets at the end of their life always wishes for more time. But time for what? To fulfill another quota? I've never heard of that. You know, I wish I did more in Q two in two thousand twenty six. Never. It's never come off out of the deathbed. It's usually those human moments that we wish we had more of or more time to make more of those moments, wish we indulged in and saw the value in them while we still could enjoy them. Our bodies are tired physically, mentally, spiritually. and it's becoming chronic where we think something is wrong with us because we can't keep up. But if we all feel this way, then how natural is it for all of us? We subconsciously put these things that actually bring us fun and joy into our lives on the back burner when more important things come up. But what makes them more valuable? You do disservice when you deny a simple joy. Why can't you get up 15 minutes earlier to take the dog out for a morning walk? You know, you get to sip your morning coffee and catch the tail end of the sunrise. You get to say hi to your neighbor three doors down as they get in their car on their way to work. Your dog is happy and it's pleasant. It's joyful to be aware of the world around you and not only be aware, but be a part of it in a happy way, in a harmonious way. It doesn't do anything for this world other than bring you enjoyment. You're being a part of this world in a way that doesn't produce anything other than your own enjoyment. Take the long way home, even if gas is two cents more than yesterday, just because you want to drive near the water, you'll get to see the river and the sky rise buildings across the way and watch the sun hit the waves. And maybe you'll even pull in and sit on a park bench dedicated to someone who you don't know or you've never heard of. Buy the clearance flowers that you know will bring you joy when you see them every morning, even if they're only going to last three days. More importantly, say yes to fun. It's the only revolt we have against the mundane, choosing joy over feeling dread. Say yes to running the errand with a friend once you get off work. Agree to eating dinner with your grandparents after a long day. Say yes to the farmer's market with your mom, even though you really want to sleep in. When you say yes to opportunities of connection, a river of joy begins to move through you. And as we put joy at the center of life, it begins to influence the rest of your path, aligning these choices that will bring you to more connection and more opportunities. Pick those opportunities of fun rather than the convenience of the modern world. And you will begin to see everything as joyful. And the world around you begins to present you with more happiness. You start seeing life through a grateful lens, Even something boring like going to buy an envelope from the store rather than online begins to make your life sparkle with this bliss. Point two, the greatest teachers of joy are not always who you think. Children do this really funny thing where they'll say something super prophetic and wise, and you kind of just look at them like, what? Where where did you learn that? And then they are gonna like blow a raspberry and run away. And you're just staring, wondering how they sent you into crisis mode. Sometimes you just stare at them wondering where they even like where did that come from? And why was that the best gift they could have given you? Children are a group of people in society who are truly overlooked. They depend completely on somebody else. They don't have any autonomy. For the first few years of their life, they don't get to say what happens. They have to depend on somebody to survive. As they grow, they then rely on adults to teach them the customs of this brand new world, to teach them language and family and how to love. These are the first few examples of this. But what they don't know is adults don't know either. We just know more into the journey. We've just experienced and lived more. But do we necessarily know more? We know not to shout in a library or chew with our mouth open, but these deeper themes of life twist and turn throughout our journey as we age. So the best we can do for these children is to shape them through this world of scars. One of my favorite things is watching those nature documentaries and seeing the babies of different species from all across the world and seeing them stay close to their matriarch or father figure. And they're learning the traditions of whatever animal they are. And babies and young children, when you watch those types of shows, you start to see how much of the same they are, no matter what. A human baby and A little elephant baby are both innocent and they're learning and they're curious and they're very observant. And most of all, they're playful. It's so beautiful to watch. And it's very hard to deny how connected this world is, especially how our youngest members of society interact with this new world that they've entered. It's magical, and adults grow out of this carefree exploration. Children are naturally explorative, though. They have to be. That's how they interact. They can't speak usually. They can only see and touch and use their senses. And they explore through that curiosity. They can be fearless because they don't really know what fear is exactly beyond biological fear and why certain things should be scary. Kids fall down after trying something for the first time and get back up and do it right again because. They haven't learned to be embarrassed about anything. Spiritually, children are seen as very special because they've just crossed over into a physical world and they're deeply intuitive beings. Playfulness is associated with children, but I don't understand why playfulness is exclusive to children. Humans are naturally playful because we're social. we're social creatures. No matter what age we are, we love games, especially with others, and community is essential to our people. And we can be open and curious when we play. And I think adults are losing sight of this. And I think we can look to children to be teachers for prioritizing play and joy. When we do something without a need for reward or out of pure joy, we are playing. We are exploring something deeper and our connection to it. when we do the same things over and over again and we're stuck in this mundane routine, there's nothing happening in our brains that is helpful to us or inspiring. There's no movement inspiring us to be open. But play is not reserved for children. If anything, we can look to them on how to play better. on a deeper level, we can look to our childhood selves for inspiration on how to play. What interests you as a child? What made you feel pure joy and happiness? A return to these previous pleasures may spark something in you now, something that is very important and healing. Point three Play is actually vital for a healthy adult life and makes us better people. We think of play as a kid only activity and we have no access to it as an adult. But what if I told you that not having any play in your life is actually making your life more miserable? Let's break down play because we need to remove the mindset that play is just for children. So what is play for adults? I'm gonna read a description because I want every single word to hit. Play for adults is any voluntary, pleasurable activity done purely for its own sake rather than for a practical goal characterized by curiosity, spontaneity, and a lack of required productivity. it often involves creative expression, social connection, or simple lighthearted fun. Hence why when we feel forced to do something, we don't feel like we're gonna have any fun to do it. Obligations don't feel fun, responsibilities don't feel fun. Not everything in life has to feel fun, but we can begin to incorporate this element of play or fun or joy-based activities to balance our lives. So, there's a few different forms of play, and you're probably already doing these things and not really even knowing how good it is for you. But usually after you do them, you're kind of like, whoa, life is worth living. Number one, Creative or hobbies. So that includes painting, building with Legos, gardening, drawing puzzles, crafting something without needing it to be completed or having a product at the end to sell. There's social and interactive forms of play. So board game nights or improv class or casual sports. There's exploratory and physical. So going on walks, bike riding, rollerblading, hiking without a set destination. Swimming, traveling to new places just to discover. And then there's spontaneous humor. So joking around with friends, goofing off, or playing with your pets. These are all forms of play that you probably already do some of these things, and they're improving your state of being. Studies have shown that adults who play literally have less stress, so less cortisol levels in their body. They have higher levels of feel-good endorphins, That are natural chemicals in our bodies that act as pain relievers and mood boosters. So not only is play great for these feel-good endorphins they're actually boosting them. So making us happier and relieving pain in our bodies. That's crazy. Play leads to less burnout in people and a boost in brain health, encouraging creative problem solving and a flexible mind. So play is not just I'm gonna be happy and do this. It's biologically doing something that is good for us. So every time we deny play, we deny our bodies into being healthier vessels for us. On top of all of that amazing information about play, it's important for adults because it encourages us to stay open to this world and trying new things. It inspires us to be creative and use different parts of our brain. And it strengthens social bonds. It gives our brain a break from these daily routines and chores, offering us joy and balance every single day. Even five minutes of play can do wonders for your entire day. This is why I say play, joy, and having fun are not optional, nor should they be seen as something that's less important. Less important than the tasks that rely on your productivity. Those things are important too, of course. A lot of our jobs and careers depend on an outcome. But that doesn't mean that every single thing we should be doing in this world revolves around efficiency. That is not natural. It's not. If anything, play is almost more important. doing something purely for your own joy and fun improves your overall health and life satisfaction. Play is not reserved for children. I think that's insane. Play is something that should be brought throughout your entire life. A sense of playfulness is what keeps life interesting and fun and worth living, truthfully. You can play with so many different types of people and learn so much in this world through play, through being open, through prioritizing your joy. And play doesn't have to be complicated. It shouldn't be something you force or schedule in. Nor do you have to be good at what you're doing. Yet something that you do spontaneously that's inspired through your own pleasure and curiosity. I want to read one more poem. It's one of my favorite poems that inspired this episode. And again, it's been on my mind for years. it's one of my favorites because it highlights how simple acts of connection create. of gratitude and joy in our lives. It's called The Orange by Wendy Cope, and you might have heard of it. It's pretty short, so bear with me here. At lunchtime I bought a huge orange. The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave. They got quarters, and I had a half. And that orange, it made me so happy, as ordinary things often do. Just lately, the shopping, a walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It's new. The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list. And I enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I'm glad I exist. That's a poem that really speaks to me because I believe in doing things purely because I love to do them or because they make me happy. I am notorious for going on very long drives in my car and spending money on gas that's not needed or you know Having a lot of kilometers on my car. But to me, that brings me so much joy. I love listening to my music and I love riding alongside everyone else. And I love having my windows down and my hair blowing in the wind and in my face and looking crazy as I sing out the window. I love that. I love driving 20 minutes in my own city. And exploring and turning where I don't really know where I'm going, that brings me a moment of peace. And for that, that's priceless to me. And I will continue to look at the gas price and pump away because I want that for myself. I find value in driving. And it's a privilege to do so. And I don't know. I think. Those are the moments where it's not complicated and I don't feel a need to explain that joy to anyone. Do I get anything out of it? No, there's no end goal to it, other than simply having my time to myself. And I'm grateful for that. And that poem is so human. It's a piece of writing that makes me feel so whole and grateful for those moments with others that inspire some wholesome. Route to happiness, like an orange, you know. Sharing that joy with other people, something so simple and something so pure. And it really is a trickle-down effect of joy. One moment of happiness creates an awareness for others, no matter how simple it is. I think it's healthy for us to share joy and create a life where joy is the center and where we can move through gratitude and. That energy is so intoxicating to everyone around you. It's that pursuit of pure presence and simple pleasure with good people is what life is truly about. And that's why we're all here, right? To fart around, to dance around. It's not supposed to be an existence of such seriousness. And if it is, that's when you rely on other people to bring you up. It's impossible to move through this world alone. It's impossible to be here to be a hundred percent efficient and productive. We're here to explore. We get the privilege of being on this wonderful, beautiful planet. with a bunch of other people doing the exact same thing. Maybe at a different capacity in a different way, but I think a message is find a minute of find something in your day that brings you joy, whether it's that five dollar coffee or going out for a a walk on your lunch break and saying hi to the other people walking on their lunch break. It's an intoxicating thing and it really does waterfall this amazing energy into the rest of your day and life. The pressure to be 100% efficient is taking away from the meaningful and joyful parts of the human experience. We aren't designed to be productive every moment of the day. We need time in this day to fart around. If anything, we need more of that than anything else right now. We need to be reminded of how human it feels to do so, how good it feels to do so, to laugh with a stranger or lie on the grass at the local park and try out new recipes with your family. Those are the moments that truly shape a life, aren't they? Not the serious buttoned up routine that makes you feel like you're in this endless loop day in and day out. It's just not how it's meant to And that's why it's so inspiring to watch children. Just play and be free. And I want that for more adults. And again, it's not outside of our reach. It's something we can do. It's a action we can do and a choice we make. The days that are spent without joy are days that go missing in your life story. But you're always going to remember that year you and your best friend joined a softball beer league and you were horrible, but you laughed the entire time and met a bunch of really cool people. Or that pottery class you attended spontaneously and ended up making a pretty good vase that you still have. When you step outside the expectation to be productive and efficient all the time and pursue fun with no need for reward other than enjoyment, you're investing in a deeper and richer story for yourself. And that's truly what life is about. If you are interested in discovering more about how to center joy in your life, I am here with my 12-week one-on-one coaching program, Returning Within. This is a sacred and connected program designed specifically for you to reconnect with these parts of yourself that you may have forgot or feel like you lost. We can work together to realign you back with that powerful, beautiful version of yourself. if you are interested or just want to discover more about the program, you can of course follow me on my socials. I am Mystic Within. You can DM me, or you can book a one-on-one free discovery call with me where we can talk about the program, tell you what it's all about, And we can connect. So if you are interested, it will be the first link in the show notes below. Thank you so much for spending some more time with me today. And remember, I believe in your inner power and in your ability to live the life that you desire. If this episode has blessed you with some new knowledge or just gave you a little something to think about, pass it along to someone you love, leave a review, Spotify, Apple, Podcast, or YouTube. And until next Wednesday, have a great week. I love you and bye for now.