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Divorce Healing After Emotional Abuse: How to Reclaim Your Identity and Power · Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Bent Not Broken.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Heartbreak and trauma may feel like the end of your story, but here it's the beginning of a bold new chapter.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Coach Deborah Griffiths, and this is the space where women rise, rebuild, and rediscover their purpose.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Remember this truth.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You are bent, not broken.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Coach Deborah, and today I want to take you deeper into the powerful lessons shared in my conversation with Terry M.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Brown.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Terry's story isn't just about leaving a 14-year emotionally abusive marriage.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's about what happens after you leave.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: The doubt, the fear, the second guessing, and how the slow, brave work of reclaiming who you are.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you're healing after emotional abuse, financial control, or a toxic relationship, this episode is for you.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk coaching.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching insight number one.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Emotional abuse trains you to doubt yourself.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: One of the most powerful moments in Terry's story was when she shared how hard it was to make simple decisions, even choosing peanut butter at the grocery store.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's not weakness, that's conditioning.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Emotional abuse slowly teaches you that every choice could be wrong, and that being wrong comes with consequences.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: So here's a coaching tip.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: When you notice yourself overthinking small decisions, pause and say, this reaction comes from trauma, not truth.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Start rebuilding confidence by letting small decisions stay small.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Not every choice requires analysis, permission, or perfection.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching insight number two, boundaries are the exit door.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Terry didn't leave the moment she realized the marriage was unhealthy.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: She left when a boundary was crossed.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: She made one clear rule, don't touch the money again.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when it was violated, she honored herself.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching tip boundaries are meaningless without follow through.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you're healing from abuse, ask yourself, what is my non-negotiable now?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: What will I do if it's crossed?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Clarity creates safety.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Follow through creates freedom.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching inside number three.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Healing doesn't make someone new, it brings you back.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: I loved it when Terry said the right didn't change me.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: It helped me find me again.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's such an important reframe.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Healing isn't about becoming stronger, tougher, or different.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's about removing the layers that were never yours to carry.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching tip.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, who was I before I had to survive?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: That version of you is still there, waiting to be welcomed back.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching insight number four.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Your body remembers even when your mind has moved on.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Terry described unexpected fear, emotional reactions, and defensiveness that showed up long after leaving the marriage.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's stored trauma.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it's normal.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a coaching tip.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: When emotional reactions feel bigger than the moment, name it, this trauma is showing up.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then ground yourself by taking a slow breath in and an even slower breath out.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly, remind yourself, I am safe now.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Awareness is the bridge between reaction and healing.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching insight number five.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Doing hard things rebuilds trust with yourself.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Riding a tandem bicycle across the United States was more than an adventure.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: It was proof that Terry was capable, proof that she could trust herself again, and proof that fear doesn't get to decide what's possible.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching tip: you don't need a cross-country bike ride, but you do need something that stretches you.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Choose one thing outside your comfort zone and let yourself complete it.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Confidence is rebuilt through evidence, not affirmation.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening or wondering whether life gets better after emotional abuse, it does.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: You won't wake up one day fixed, but you will wake up more aware, more grounded, and more yourself than the day before.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: You are not broken, you are bent and rising.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you want support on your healing journey, you don't have to do this alone.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can find me, Coach Deborah, and learn about working together in the show notes.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, be gentle with yourself, trust your pace, and keep moving forward.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to today's episode of Bent Not Broken.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that this episode reminded you that even through life's toughest moments, you are bent, not broken.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: If this message inspired you, please share, rate, review, and subscribe, as it helps us reach more women who are ready to rise and rebuild.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, keep living bold and walking in your purpose.