Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 682: NEVER Say This To Your Ex (If You Want Them Back)

Transcript

Episode 682: NEVER Say This To Your Ex (If You Want Them Back) · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  When it comes to getting an X back, you are your own worst
• 0:05
  enemy. Three of my clients made the
• 0:08
  exact same mistake within a 30 day period, so I knew it was
• 0:13
  time to make a video on this to make sure that you guys don't
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  make the same mistake and mess up the chances of getting your X
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  back. What is that mistake?
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  And no, it's not breaking no contact.
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  We already know this mistake, it's something else.
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  So stay tuned and you'll find out.
• 0:28
  Hi, this is Lucia with the art of love.
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  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing helping you
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  get your X back or to get over your X.
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  And welcome back my beautiful no contact army.
• 0:39
  Have you downloaded my app Silencio to help you stay in no
• 0:42
  contact? If you haven't, the link is
• 0:45
  underneath every single video and podcast.
• 0:47
  And if you too would like to join our no contact army, all
• 0:50
  you have to do is subscribe button and the bell notification
• 0:55
  and you're in. And to read our manual, go to
• 0:58
  nocontactsecrets.com where you can read 2 free chapters before
• 1:02
  you purchase the book. All right, let's get right into
• 1:05
  it. So one of the clients who messed
• 1:08
  up is someone that I already did a whole video on titled warning.
• 1:14
  This will cause you to break no contact.
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  His ex's daughter contacted him and he felt sure that his ex
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  wanted to get back together but wasn't saying it because of her
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  fear of rejection and so he reached out and in his case, he
• 1:32
  wrote a letter declaring his feelings.
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  Well, it's been over 5 weeks and has he heard back from her?
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  No, he has not. So what mistake did he make
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  besides obviously writing the letter and declaring his
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  feelings? Well, let me give you one more
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  example and then I'll tell you what it is.
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  So one of my other clients hired me because his wife wanted a
• 1:56
  divorce and he wanted me to stop the divorce.
• 2:00
  And he had been listening to other coaches telling him to
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  respond every time she reached out and he wasn't getting
• 2:06
  anywhere. And then he heard my videos and
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  he thought, uh oh, 'cause he heard me say not to respond
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  unless it's regarding the kids and unless it's significant
• 2:14
  regarding something else. So he started working with me
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  and we managed to cause his wife to wonder if she really wanted
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  to get a divorce. She kept pausing the proceedings
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  if you will. And then I didn't hear from him
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  for two months. So I just assumed Oh well, I
• 2:29
  guess they got back together. Well I then heard from him and
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  and he said I was sure we were going to get back together.
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  She seemed so interested. Things were going well and then
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  I asked her if she wanted to get back together and she was like
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  what? No, and that's the mistake
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  because they are giving you indicators of interest.
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  IO is as the pickup community calls it.
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  So you're assuming that since they're giving you buying
• 3:00
  signals that they're interested in getting back together and
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  they just don't want to say it for whatever reason.
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  So you pull the trigger because you've gotten such a great
• 3:12
  response from them when you've been in contact with them and
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  you ask to get back together and you get a big surprise.
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  So I don't care how interested they seem.
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  I don't care what their attachment style is.
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  I don't care if they're fearful of avoidance and they're afraid
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  of rejection. If they had the balls to break
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  up with you, then they can use those same balls, even if
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  they're a woman, to now say that they want to get back together.
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  Otherwise you risk being rejected again.
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  And now you've shown your cards, they know that you are still
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  interested, that you're very interested, and all that no
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  contact you did goes down the drain.
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  And if I still haven't convinced you not to ask your ex to get
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  back together, then here's another client who did the same
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  thing. The third client, so she
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  actually broke up with him because she felt he was taking
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  her for granted and they were apart for several months and she
• 4:17
  was hearing that he was asking about her and then they were at
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  the same event. He came up to her.
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  He was saying I I missed you, blah, blah, blah.
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  So same mistake. She asked if he wanted to get
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  back together and he pulled back.
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  Like what? No, I don't know.
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  I don't know. And again, she blew her cover,
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  so to speak, all that no contact for nothing.
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  And I had spoken with her before she was going to meet up with
• 4:45
  him or, you know, see him at the event because we knew that he
• 4:48
  was going to be there. And she could have just texted
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  me and said, should he seems interested?
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  Should I? And of course she didn't.
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  She just thought, oh, he's interested.
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  So I'm going to ask. And of course, shot down again.
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  And I know that when you're X's in front of you and they're
• 5:07
  telling you they miss you and they're looking into your eyes
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  and you're looking into their eyes and all those wonderful
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  memories come flooding back and you're going to be tempted to do
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  it and you're not going to be able to help yourself.
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  It's like there's a tempting dessert right in front of you
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  and all you have to do is pick up the spoon and you can have a
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  taste of that. Delicious dessert.
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  And I'm telling you, don't do it.
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  Don't do it. Hear my words in your head when
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  you're about to open your mouth and say, want to get back
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  together? Not with that voice.
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  Because the dessert might look tasty, but you don't know what
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  it's actually made of and it may actually end up hurting you.
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  So when your ex is in front of you and you've been in no
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  contact and now you're in contact and they seem to be also
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  interested, do not ask them to get back together no matter
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  what. They need to pull the trigger.
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  Otherwise you may risk like my clients being rejected again.
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  It's not worth it. Now just as a side note, I'm not
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  saying that these clients will not get their exes back, I'm
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  just saying you're delaying it by being the one to ask to get
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  back together. Remember, they broke up with
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  you. They need to put this thing back
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  together. You don't have to lift a finger.
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  What did I say in my first video about no contact?
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  How do you get your ex back? By doing nothing.
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  Nothing, absolutely nothing. And that includes asking them to
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  get back together if they appear to be super interested.
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  OK, I hope I've made my point. So now I want to hear from you.
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  How long have you been in no contact and how is it going?
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  And if you would like my help to get your ex back, you can
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  contact me at theartoflove.net and we will send you the rates.
• 7:16
  They are not on the website and I am available seven days a
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  week, 16 hours a day for my regular ongoing clients.
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  And if you found this video helpful, please like, subscribe,
• 7:28
  and share. If you're listening to this as a
• 7:30
  podcast, please rate and review. And finally, remember, love
• 7:34
  inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.