Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Ep. 56 | Founder Dad Burnout: How Real Rest Boosts Mental Fitness & Presence
Transcript
- Shaun: Welcome back to the Reset episode 56. I am your host, Sean Tucker, and I've got a little secret, and you'll probably want into this one. Psst. Who needs sleep when you can just rest? I share that, sarcastically, only because most people don't really know how to rest. And even myself, to a degree, I know what good rest feels like. I know what quality sleep feels like. But there are probably people who listening to this right now, thinking, hmm. I don't feel well rested and I am literally living on caffeine to keep me awake. And keep in mind, I love caffeine. I love coffee because of the way it makes me feel. The taste of coffee. is pretty okay but actually I love the feeling of it more than I love the taste of it. And everything you've been told about sleep is probably 90 % false. I say that not because I'm a sleep expert, but actually I know a thing or two when it comes to understanding what rest actually is. And when it comes to sleep, someone probably dressed in a lab coat, said eight hours of sleep. And you know, this has been studied, right? But this is where the science is very limited, because the science is selecting a very specific group of people to study on. it doesn't factor in a lot of variables. And so when it comes to sleep, if you're able to access karma and karma and slower brainwave states, the more quality rest you will have. So is it the quantity and the length of your sleep that matters or is it more important to not measure necessarily? Because I think sometimes measuring people get very caught up in and they end up stressing themselves out over it. Is it the brainwave states and slowing down into more calm, more deeper relaxed states of being so when you're sleeping your bodies and your mind is able to get this proper deep rest? I think what happens for most people and a lot of people especially high functioning corporate people is there is such a culture around being on that when it comes to being off and I put quotation fingers here because I think it's the wrong approach. I 100 % believe it's the wrong approach. Life is either on or you're dead. Right? It's not in between. It's like Are you alive or are you dead? Yes, sometimes you'll take a little bit of warming up to get more aliveness happening in your body and your mind. But when it comes to being on or off, really I think what people are talking about is not a sense of aliveness. It's actually a sense of... Well, that is the thing, but they actually want to be unconscious. They don't want to be conscious of what is happening because it takes a lot of energy. It takes a lot of effort. But think, the times that you felt most alive have probably been the times where you felt most scared, you felt most fearful and afraid, and also potentially dangerous. You've probably been actually living on the edge, and maybe even conscious of your mortality, and just how fragile life can be. and on the other side of that same coin, where you've probably felt the most. asleep or unconscious is not when you've taken anything but actually where nothing is happening. There's no growth. There's no, you know, there's no vibrancy. It's just the same old routine, same old pattern, same old people. And the novelty has gone. Which is not true, the novelty is always there because there's there's nothing actually going on other than this moment right now. So this moment is the only one that exists. However... The novelty of experience for you from your mind's perception is just the same old. It's just regurgitating and recycled day after day, which turns to week after week, month after month, year after year, decade after decade. And this is a sad life, right? Because nothing's really happening. And it's not say that nothing's happening because it's still the sun rises and falls at the same day there's still 168 hours in a week there's 52 weeks in a year there's 10 years in a decade right time hasn't changed but your perception or your perspective of your experience is keeping you stuck so what makes you feel alive For me, the times that I felt most alive have been when I have been probably the most sick, ironically, and also the times where I felt most threatened. So when I've actually been in the most dangerous positions. So for example, when I hopped into the octagon, which you can see in the... in the image behind me when I had my first MMA fight. Yeah, that was one time where I felt most alive. Other times where I feel really alive are when I'm doing something that pushes me outside of my comfort zone. Could even be the time where I asked my father-in-law, could I marry my girlfriend at the time who's now my wife, right? There's many things that can make you feel alive. And it's not to say that. the joy of this moment can't make you feel alive. So when it comes to being rested, it's... Can you do it without feeling like you're burning yourself up? And maybe it is about burning yourself up because people who are able to rest, people who are actually naturally meditative, it takes an enormous amount of skills to be able to get to that level. It takes an enormous amount of focus, of presence, of... just being in that state because you can be rested. and still be very intense. You can be meditative and not have your eyes closed and not be sitting in a meditative posture. So people who practice meditation, why do you think they do it? Do you think it's just because they want to sit there with their eyes closed because they can't handle their thoughts or they can't handle their feelings? My answer would be no. I've been meditating for the last five years, five, six years on a consistent basis. been doing the same 21 minute practice every single day for the last four years. And I've seen the most growth in my life in the last four years than I have in the last 10. Why is that? Is it because I've actually done the work? Partly. Is it because I'm feeling more alive than ever? Yeah, that's probably why. Because I've actually maintained this level of rest and calm within myself where life has happened much more intensely, much more quickly, and I've actually used it as a platform to grow. I've used my practices, the things that I do every single day, including fitness, right? I go for a walk, I take care of myself, my body, I cook, I do all these things. But the reason why I'm sharing that is... rest, sleep and burning out they're variables to you being actually resting at any moment. So if you're afraid of burning out because you're always on and you're not sure if you can keep performing that way, that's a pretty fair assumption. because it's burning out. isn't what you think it is. Burning out is not really getting what you think you deserve after the amount of effort and energy you put in. And someone once told me that why not burn the candle at all ends? Because for you to be the best version of yourself, you need to physically, mentally and emotionally exhaust yourself. Because that is what you are made of. And if you are really here to make a difference in this life, then you need to physically, mentally and emotionally exhaust yourself. And you need to wake up tomorrow and do the same thing again. And you need to wake up the next day and do the same thing again. Because what anyone else does is up to them. But if this is your life and it's wasting every single moment gone by, every single day that goes by is a day that is closer to your death, well, there's one thing that's for sure. You're one day closer to your death, which means you have potentially wasted a day. And if you care about your life making a difference towards whatever change you want to make. Every single moment counts. So maybe it's time to wake up. Maybe it's time to go with your rhythm, to not fight it, and to really just give it your all. Because we've only got one chance, we've only got one shot. And this is all preparation for the next moment. We don't arrive at any one moment. The only moment we arrive to is death. So we better make the most of this moment because we don't know when that moment's coming. And it's not to be afraid of it. It's actually more so to realize that it can wake us up. It can get us into gear. it can get us taking massive bold action towards what we really care about. And so if you have found value in today's episode, and if you want to become more restful, I would love to have a chat with you. So you can reach me on my website, SeanTucker.com.au and I look forward to seeing you in tomorrow's episode. Thanks for tuning in.