Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Little Spreadsheet Skank

Transcript

Phone Tap: Little Spreadsheet Skank · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's almost time for your prank call. It's Brook and
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning, and they always say, don't drink
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: from the company inc oh or no, wait, no, don't
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: stick your pencil in the office sharpener. No, what's the cartridge?
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah don't yes, hose, got it. Don't dip your pen
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: in the in the company's stuff. Anyway, one guy decided
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: he was going to do that, and recently he started
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: dating one of his co workers. So what did she do?
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: She used that information to set him up. Yes, your
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: brand new phone tap, it's happening right now. I'm working
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties. Hello, Hi Steve. My
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: name is Chad Kroger from Corporate Human Resources. How are
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: you today?
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Oh? Good? Hi? Hi.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So I just spoke with Terry not too long ago,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: the local HR rep, and she told me that you
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: recently disclosed an in office relationship with another employee. Yeah, Libby, yes, correct, Yes, nice,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: looks like somebody got there before I could. What I'm
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: just joking with you. I just want to have a
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: little bit of humor before I get to the real
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: reason for my call, which is that as a couple.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Now you and Libby will fall under a different set
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: of office guidelines. Okay, yeah, so I just needed to
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: go over that with you real quick. So do you
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: have a pen handy?
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Go ahead?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah all right. So, first of all, we do need
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: to address PDA in the office. Sure, obviously, we don't
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: want to make other people uncomfortable. So side hugs are permitted,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: but only at a forty five degree angle for under
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: one and a half seconds.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Are you serious?
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Those are the rules? Anything more than that, it's going
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: to come across as kind of lude, okay, or like
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: show Offye. So look at us so in love in
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: front of all the other employees. You know, Oh that's
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: the reaction you're going to get, just absolute puke.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, Well, we don't do much that at work anyway.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't imagine that would be a much of an
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: issue anyway.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but you know, just for some people, I
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: mean me personally, i'd be cheering you on. Go behind
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: the copy here?
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Could you tell me what your name was? Again?
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry Chad Kroger. Chad yet Because we work at
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: a financial institution, I do get a lot of jokes
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: about how Chad Kroger you got a nickelback and dang, okay,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: that's probably where you thought we were going with this.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I actually wasn't.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: But yeah, let's go back to the relationship guidelines. So
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: any shared lunch breaks that you and Libby have together
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: that lasts longer than twenty two minutes, it will be
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: perceived as you two getting after it.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Oh hold on, are you kidding me? I mean that
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: seems extreme because it's not even the thing that we
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: would necessarily be doing. It's just you're saying that people
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: would just be thinking that.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'd be thinking it. I'm picturing it right
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: now actually, but it is against company rules. So try
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: to keep those lunches under twenty two You should be.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Good, Okay, Yeah, I'm.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Just I'm hearing from your tone. Do you have a
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: problem with this. There's a lot of pushback.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. I know that I'm
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: part of the organization and I should you know.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, thank you, And look, I know we've discussed a
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: lot of restrictions, but there are some benefits, like, for example,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: if you fill out a form, the company does provide
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: free ed pills.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, is there anything else? This seems like
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: a lot.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, you already have a supplier for that.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: I see, all right.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Now, it's sorry to take up your time, but trying
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: to help you.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Now, I'm sorry. I didn't mean.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know what you meant. I get it.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Just my last thing. And this comes directly from your supervisor.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Pet names are totally okay if she wants to call
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: you daddy or stallion, excuse me, something tame, but you're
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: not allowed to cross the line and call her something
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: like my little spreadsheets. Oh my god, keep on one
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: for behind closed doors.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's crossing a line. I mean, this
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: is still inappropriate. You're using language that I would never
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: even consider using.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Guys, sure, maybe you wouldn't use it, but Libby would.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: No, I don't think she would. She would.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: She asked me to use that specific phrase in this
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: phone call that we're doing on you right now.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Are you just catching on now that this is a
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: prank and you're on the radio with Brook and Jeffrey
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: in the morning. What your girlfriend, Livy set you up
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: for this? She said that you're really nervous about disclosing
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: your relationship to HR, Like I am curious which office
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: relationship Guideline was your favorite.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know. I was parsing out
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: how I would hug for a second or whatever it was.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well you'd have to time it if you're dating
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: the little spreadsheets.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, someone appropriated.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: You can steal the nickname though, if you want to.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Uh no, it's all yours. Chat and Jeffrey's
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Phone taps on the twenties