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Why Surrender Is the Hardest Skill for Driven Men, with Jason Watson · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  The problem was me. That's the problem with every business owner. They're in the way. My company started to grow was when the attention went from me to everyone else. So if I help you win, not just money, personally, professionally, financially, if we win, you win. And now our company is growing way more. Like, man, we're just like breaking records everywhere. And I figured out how to let a lot of things go and get really clear. Did you go hear what he just said? Let a lot of things go. You had to do that in your personal life. I know.
• 0:29
  Vulnerability is in your strong suit, huh? Like, how did I get here when I just try to be absolutely the best version of myself? What signs did you miss?
• 0:38
  This podcast just took a turn. Again, it's like you're laying there at night, right? And I hear pin drop, like what is going on? Everyone's coming to me to fix the problem. I am the solution. There's not a solution for me. My guest today was bathing in a gas station sink at 15. And at 17, he bought a truck he could not afford. He put tools on a credit card and he taught himself a trade on the floor of his apartment at night. By 19, he owned the company.
• 1:05
  By his late 20s, he had a multi-eight-figure business across multiple states. And that had almost killed him. So he did something most guys will never do. This is Jason Watson. This one is going to make some of you uncomfortable. Let's get into it. Jason, thanks for being here. I love having it in person. I always say a lot of times, um...
• 1:24
  Everybody wants to be a gangster until a real gangster walks in. And you just walked in. I'm like, whoa. It's like I'm looking in the mirror. Ripped at 50. Been through violence, addiction. And nothing can stop you. You're literally the definition of harder than life. So you grew up sleeping in cars, bathing in gas stations. At what moment did you decide that that was going to end and that was the last chapter of your story?
• 1:52
  I think it was when I was probably 14 years old, counting pennies off the carpet for my mom working three jobs, struggling to find food for the night. That's why I was counting the change. I remember exactly where I was at. This was 36 years ago. At that point, I was like, man, I don't want to live like anyone in my family because they were all kind of the broke, negative mindset, struggled,
• 2:18
  And they all thought it was normal. I mean, that's what my normal was, right, as a kid. And I think at that moment, I remember thinking, man, when I can go like start making money like this is over. And I think it's just a flip switch for me. And I've been on this obsessive journey ever since, you know, to be something more than everyone else and become someone that I knew I could be.
• 2:42
  You used an interesting term there. I want to point this out. It was, well, we were recording. I don't know where we're going to put all that stuff, but obsessive. I want, I challenge you and your community to, to surrender, let go, let God, and just be still silent and in solitude. And don't be so obsessive. Just be, just be present. We just had someone on before you, man. And that's all I talk about. Presence, presence, presence. It's like,
• 3:09
  You know, we're men of doing. Just a little bit more love I'm trying to give you, man. I appreciate it. Presence is a problem. It is. In the moment. It is, especially men that their whole survival was doing. Yeah. As long as I'm making money, I'm safe. If I'm over here, I'm safe. If I'm building this body, nobody's gonna hurt me. So that's gonna resonate with the Heart of the Life audience. But your dad was in and out of prison.
• 3:36
  What did you learn from him that you actually kept? Because here's what people don't realize. Every negative still has a positive. Sure. I have this big body because my stepfather used to beat the crap out of me. But what have everybody noticed when I walk in a room? I know I mean business. What positive did you take out of that?
• 3:54
  I think the positive I took from my dad when I actually started working with him was, you know, I think even though he didn't do this, the lesson of doing things the right way, always, like to almost perfection, which you can't get perfection, but we go with obsession, perfection, these strong words, but it was –
• 4:15
  Be the absolute best at what you're doing. And, you know, probably the biggest lesson, honestly, was from a standpoint of what I don't want.
• 4:26
  which is to be like you in any imagination because I saw how he treated my mom, how he treated his body. And so for me it was more of what I did want as opposed to what I wanted, I think. That was a bigger lesson for me, honestly. Jesus, dude. I don't want to be like you. You just gave me butterflies just so you know. Yeah. Because I weaponized everything. Yeah. And that's what you did. You weaponized it. I did. That's how I parent.
• 4:51
  right now is I parent my daughter the exact opposite of the way that I was married and it's closer to being what would be right. Thousand percent while I'm with my kids, dude. Like I don't miss anything. I will travel an hour to say hello for five minutes. I'm at every event, everything I can possibly be at because mine was never there. Never, never doctor's appointment, never anything, never had a dinner at a table together. Not ever.
• 5:21
  What's the core wound that you had? Is it abandonment? Is it betrayal? What is it that, when you think of that, what do you feel? Because the reason why I'm getting at it, I just recently uncovered that I had shame. Have you looked at any shame? And then what do you think it is?
• 5:36
  That's a great question. I don't know what comes to mind. Maybe that's the thing I need to uncover, right? That's deep down. It's probably some shame. I'll help you out that that's what mine was. And I'm only doing this because I'm picking it up. You're seeing two manly men be ridiculously vulnerable, guys. This is the real it. We're in the shit right now. And for me, I was unlovable.
• 6:00
  Because my dad never showed up. My stepdad beat me. My mom didn't give a ****. I was unworthy. Why would I be worthy of anything? And I was bad. So I went down that path and I embraced that. And then deep down under that, I had to be the victim. Yeah. Because I was. So I kept perpetrating that for years. And until I didn't. And that's when life got really good. And I surrendered. And I surrendered.
• 6:28
  surrendered and everything. And this is, this comes after a year after I tried to outwork it, out hustle it, run it. I was like, I'll show you I'm worthy. I'll show you I'm good. I'm just going to, I'm going to do 555 workouts. I'm going to start out 500, but I had to do 555. I'm going to do 150 podcasts. I'm going to work 80 hours a week.
• 6:50
  And I saw in our show notes, we're going to ask these questions. You did the same thing. Didn't work, did it? Mm-mm. I think it was fear of failure, you know, looking at it. Even today still, it's gotten better. But like early on, I think it was, I needed to be so great at what I put the hours in, do the work seven days a week, all the things, because I didn't want to end up like he was. Let's go a little deeper. So you're...
• 7:17
  You were working a third shift at a trucking company to pay your mother's rent. What does that do to a teenager who's supposed to be worried about doing homework? What does that teach them? Yeah, I definitely wasn't worried about doing homework at the time. It was simply to keep the lights on, hot water on, and to eat. And so I'd go to school, and then I'd go there afterwards. Didn't think nothing of it? No. It was, no. Talk about hotter than life, man.
• 7:45
  Yeah, I mean, that's just what it was. You know, no sleep, going to school. And I played sports, so the school I was at was terrible. I mean, all I did was play basketball, and I didn't do any homework, and everyone knew it, and that was cool. And then I'd go work after school or leave early and go work just to make money. You know, I became obsessed with money early on. I'm not now, but that was the drive. It's like, man, I need money because money at the time solved. It paid the bills.
• 8:10
  It kept the lights on. You know what I mean? It put food on the table. So I'm like, well, I need money. The obsession thing was real for me because it was literally all I did. All I wanted to do was work. And now I do, but it's in a different capacity.
• 8:26
  It's because I have a mission behind what I'm doing now. But then it was just simply to be able to eat and eat something I actually wanted. Because before, it's like you order off the menu and you get the cheapest stuff you can actually find to put in your cupboards.
• 8:44
  That's what it was, you know. So to go to Wendy's or a fast food place back then would be like going to a five-star steakhouse now. That's what it felt like because we never got a chance to do that. Man, you know, there's still the triggers that I have after all the therapy I've been through and all the work I've done and all the integration is if I'm hungry, you got to look out. Because to me...
• 9:07
  Money meant I get to eat. So when I grew up, we were on welfare and we had the only meal I was guaranteed that day was the free lunch at school. I never missed school because I needed to eat. So that is one hell of a driver. And most people would call that a disadvantage. But I guarantee you, just like me, I weaponized it. So tell me how you turned it into your advantage.
• 9:37
  Yeah, well, when I started, when I got the taste of money and like could actually do things with it at 14, that's when I started taking care of my mom, literally since I was 14. And, you know, I got when my dad, he was in jail before I started the flooring business, you know, because I was like, man, what am I going to do?
• 9:53
  I tried to go to the military, but I had just got braces on that I had paid for as well at early age. They wouldn't let me in. It was like, oh, you've got to go in this delayed entry, I think is what they called it. I was like, I need to do something else. I need to make money.
• 10:07
  And so you only know what you're around typically as kids, right? It's like that's why most kids, they do what their dads did, and that's all they know. And so then it was like, well, my dad did floors. I know a couple people. Can you make money doing it? And so one day I had a phone call with him. He was in jail. He was getting ready to get out. I'm like, you know, how much can I make putting floors in? And he told me $1,000 to $1,500 a week. You know, so this was 35 years ago. And my cousin—
• 10:38
  was the only successful person in the family. At that time he was successful as from a money standpoint. And I remember asking him not long, it's crazy how these dots connected, but not long before that, I was like, man, how do I get a house, which was just a normal, then it looked like a mansion, but like looking back, it was just a small house, had a nice Lexus. And so I knew everything he had. And I was like, man, how do I, what do I have to make to get what you have? And he told me 1,000, $15 a week.
• 11:06
  And so that conversation happened not long after that. And I'm like, he said this. He said, my dad said this. I said, how long would it take me to learn? He said, probably two years. I'm like...
• 11:18
  That's what I'm going to do. And then I got off the phone, went in there and told my mom. And then she started crying, screaming, jumping up and down. It's like, you're not going to do that. You're going to go to school and use your mind. Get a job. Use your mind. You're going to get benefits. You're going to do those things. And so that's not what happened. And so anyway, got him out of jail. He didn't have any money, no vehicle, no nothing. I had got my first credit card.
• 11:38
  In the mail and I went and put these tools on this and I had no idea even what a hammer was, you know, I literally knew nothing. He's like, I need to get these tools. I went and got his credit card, went to a, my cousin at the time sold me a Mazda P2500, financed it for me. And I got this green barrel trash can and that's, that's where all the tools went.
• 12:01
  Loaded it every night inside his apartment because you couldn't leave it outside. The stuff would get stolen. That's how bad of a neighborhood it was. And that's how I started my journey of learning to put floors in. And then once I figured out how to do that within a couple years or so, which was the hardest thing ever, was working with him. He was very difficult and degrading and would cut you out on the floor.
• 12:24
  call you a MFR and everything else, if I left a speck of dust on the floor, I would get really cursed out, screamed at, to the top of your lungs type of deal. And my personality type is like, man, and he would tell me I'm never gonna learn how to do it. You're never gonna learn this. I was just determined that, and that's my personality, is I can do anything that I,
• 12:49
  Anything I want to do, put my mind to it, I don't care what it is, I can do it and I will figure it out. And so that's the mentality I had was to prove him. And later on in life, he realized, like, I got it, you know, and I started doing it because I was practicing every night. I would take stuff home and practice in the living room, making seams and plywood on the floor and had no idea what I was doing. I was cutting up all this material.
• 13:12
  went to trade schools that I paid for myself. And he would tell me I'm stupid for going to trade schools and all the, all these things that I endured to actually learn how to do it. But once I, once I did it, man, I, I actually really loved the craft of what I was doing. And then I was making money at the same time. And then once that happened and I kind of went on on my own, I got a contract with Home Depot at like 19 years old.
• 13:37
  I started making more money than anybody in my family at 19 years old. And then it was like, okay, now I have the money. So that was good for a while in my 20s, 30s. It started to become a burden. 40s, I hated my life. Boom. You just described harder than life? To a T. Bro, you just saw me drop my head when you were talking about working with your dad because –
• 14:00
  It's uncanny. I remember doing home improvement projects with my stepdad. And it was always screaming and yelling at me and telling me how stupid I was and how big of a piece of s*** I was going to be. And I'm never going to amount to anything. Bro, you and I are aligned. And there's a lot that we can learn from each other.
• 14:19
  That unworthiness is probably still rolling a little bit. But let's keep talking for the audience because it's funny. My next question is supposed to be what happens if that bet happens
• 14:32
  Doesn't land, but I already know the answer. These are these questions I have. Like, I already know the answers. It's like there was no way you could fail. Walk me through that. Yeah, no, I mean, that's the attitude I have now, man. I was like, I'm just going to keep doing it until the door opens. Like, I will keep knocking. We'll kick it open. Until I'm like dead, passed out, done, I'm going to get what I want.
• 14:54
  And I'm going to do everything in my power to get it. I've been like that since a kid and it's always worked out. It takes longer than expected. It's hard, you know, in the, in the flooring business, like there's, you know, I'm sure you've seen some of the videos, but I, I would be in the hospital like every three months I would pass out from stress. I had ulcers. The doctor would tell me that you better like whatever you're doing, you need to cut it in half, take a vacation, do I, or you're not going to be around. You're not going to be walking. Cause I was crawling around concrete for 18 hours a day, seven days a week and
• 15:24
  And I just remember like sometime they'd be telling me that I'd be in the bed and I would be answering emails or whatever on my next till I think at the time we had that you remember those. And just, you know, I always like thought I was one.
• 15:39
  one step away from losing it all yeah losing it all but also like get figuring it out it's like today it's like well what we're doing with this business like it drives me wild because it's like man i know we're so close and i think that every day every day and that's the key though to give the life you want is like you believe it have faith in your ability to keep doing you take action and every day you march forward eventually like you will get it if you don't stop most people just stop three feet from gold
• 16:03
  Yeah, you have to believe in invisible progress. You have to because that's what the overnight success is. We're laughing about it because we know we're going to be number one. And people are going to be saying, they're like, well, how did you – how did life just burst it on the scene? Like, yeah, we've been doing it for four years. Right. By the time it hits. And nobody saw the 100 freaking people that watched the first episode. Or the 150th episode, they got 1,000. And you're like, what the hell? So it is just uncanny to look and see.
• 16:32
  the commonality here, but you got to 19, and we're generating five grand a day. And most people are still figuring out life. How in the hell were you managing all that? How were you, what separated you, and how did you not muck it all up right there and then at 19?
• 16:49
  Dude, I think I was, we were talking about this the other day is I was so focused, which I think is one of the things you must master to be great. I was so locked in on what I wanted because of the pain I went through.
• 17:04
  that anything that didn't align with that, I didn't do it. So like I, you know, 18, 19, I wasn't dating. I, you know, like that wasn't my focus where most people were going out on the weekends and having fun, especially if you're making that the kind of money I was making, I was just putting it all away, still eating the cheap food and all that I was just stacking cash, but I just was so focused and determined and didn't, I, again, it goes back to, I was so scared of being what they were.
• 17:30
  That I wouldn't stop doing what I was doing, which literally about killed me. But I was laser focused. I wasn't distracted by anything else. I knew exactly at that time, which I think most men go their entire life and never figure this out. And it's different now for me. But like then it was like, okay, I am doing this and only this. And it's all I wanted to do. And I had a mission and I was determined.
• 17:51
  And everything else, I just totally blocked out. I just didn't do things that most 20-year-olds did because of the pain that I went through. I just wasn't willing to do something for short-term pleasure to get in the way of what my mission was. That's where we differ. I went off on the partying tangent hard. Oh, my God. I went on a 20-year party binge journey.
• 18:16
  And just lived life. But I got it out of my system and it was nice. And it was fun. I learned a lot. But, you know, I can't help but think about the fact that you made a lot of money in the trade business. And we're in this crazy AI world where the trades are getting more prevalent. Like, I would encourage...
• 18:38
  anybody to go into the flooring business to the plumbing business to the any kind of service business now you can make a ton of money but how did that become such an overlooked path to wealth in this country i don't know man the generations now is different because you can do stuff online you know there's other things you can do from your house and i i think that um you know i and i agree with you i mean
• 19:00
  the trade AI is not going to, I mean, at some point it will, but it's like you, you still need the person to go out and do the work and talk to the project manager and still take care of that. So, um, although AI is still, it is big in, in the business in different aspects as we use it as well. But I mean, it changed my life to like, I don't know anything else. You know, people go to college and spend four years and get out and they don't know what they're doing. And it's like,
• 19:24
  A lot of people I think now just don't want to work hard. Or it's just a different mentality, a different mindset. They want to get paid before they show you their value. And yeah, I don't know, man. I mean, again, it was the only thing I knew to do at the time. You know, I don't know, you know, if I had to do over again, if I was today doing it, I wouldn't personally do it because I know there's easier ways to do it. But I love it now because I'm not in the day to day. So if you can do it and build a real business out of it to where you're not,
• 19:54
  in the trenches all the time, then I like that. That's really good advice. I wouldn't do it the other way. You know what I'm saying? Like before when I was building a business, I couldn't figure out how to get myself out of it. It took me a long time. I mean, honestly, until the last four years. And that's why I about killed myself. But the problem was me. And that's the problem with every business owner. They're in the way, right? Because they're not the right leader. They don't have the right standards. They're doing all the things wrong. They're control freaks. There's all these things.
• 20:18
  you know, that we do as, you know, business owners. And I figured out how to let a lot of things go and get really clear and learned how to build teams and empower people and, you know,
• 20:32
  And then it took off. I mean, pretty quickly. Did you all hear what he just said? Let a lot of things go. Yeah, yeah. You got to do that in your personal life. I know, yeah. Ooh, business. So somebody just, my coach just said to me this week, he equated the rest of my life to working out. And once you do that, I get it. He's like, hey, you just posted the 150-pound dumbbells. What did you visualize? Walk me through the whole thing. And then he did it and I went, okay.
• 20:57
  I went through the whole process and went, I'll do that in every part of your life. And I went, oh, it's so simple. But we make it hard. So it sounds like you just recently got to the point where you realized you were the bottleneck. And every, I just went through this last year.
• 21:16
  realized no matter how hard I work, I'm the bottleneck and I'm the problem. So somebody listening to this right now who is the ceiling of their own company, what advice would you give them besides what I just said to you? What advice would you give them who's in the thick of it right now, working their butt off, and they feel like if they pull back,
• 21:37
  Everything's going to fall. Yeah. Yeah, I get it because that's exactly how I felt. But at the same time, depending on what your goals are, if your goal is to grow a business that you're not working in, you're going to have to become someone new. So I had to rebuild Jason at the time to become someone new. You can't become that guy and stay the same guy, right? So you have to go through this process, which is why I'm doing what I'm doing now.
• 22:00
  in the program as you have to literally get clear on is what do you want, right? You've got to rebuild yourself into the leader. You've got to have the right standards. You've got to be able to empower people, set clear expectation, have clear measurables, create that winning culture. But it all starts with the leader and where he's at. You're going to tap out at where you're at as a leader.
• 22:23
  And so when I started changing myself and my body and my mind and how I'm talking, how I'm operating, it attracted the right people in my life. Before, you attract what you are. So if you're stuck right now, it's because you're attracted in your life. So if you want different, you've got to become something different to get something new. You know what I'm saying? And so then I changed myself. I worked on me. I became better physically, mentally.
• 22:46
  People started to notice. Then it started to attract different people in my life and the wrong people in my business. The wrong people started to shift away. And then I started to develop more as a leader and understand that, you know, you pay people for a reason and bring them in. You set clear expectations, empower them to go do it.
• 23:03
  make sure they're doing it within the mission and the core values of how we operate the company. As long as we do that, we're going to be fine. You go left, I go right. Doesn't matter as long as we get there and we do it the right way. And also, here's the other bigger piece that when my company started to grow is when the attention went from me to everyone else. So if I help you win...
• 23:23
  In every aspect of your life, because that's the journey I'm on, is like, how do we get it all in life, not just money, because you'll just be miserable. It's helping them personally, professionally, and financially. Like helping them set goals, helping them think about their future, helping them understand that taking care of your body is important, how this affects every aspect of your life, how you do one thing, how you do everything.
• 23:42
  That's when everything started changing because my culture shifted. And now everybody's like in the best shape they've ever been in. People's relationships are better. They're thinking different. And they're seeing me operate it. They're seeing what I'm doing, right? And so that's literally like it wasn't the fancy. It wasn't the SOP, the technology. Yes, all those things matter. But...
• 24:01
  It was truly me transforming first, helping you, and then getting clear on the customer, another piece of it, the type of customer that we're going after, which was another problem because we were doing it. If it was a floor, we would do all of it. But no, we've got two types of customers we work with, and that's it. If it doesn't align with that, we don't do it. So our ideal customer, who we're going after, how we're doing it, we got locked in on that.
• 24:22
  have comp plans for people to show them like, if we win, you win, help them personally in their personal life get better. That was my form. That's when everything in my life changed. I mean, from a business standpoint. And now our company is growing way more without me doing any, I have one call a week for an hour with my CEO. That's it.
• 24:40
  And the company's operating in states I've not even been to. And we're growing and scaling. And it's like, man, we're just like breaking records everywhere. But it all starts with the leader. So if you're a business owner and you're watching, your business is stuck. It's you. Hardest thing to know. Where do you still feel like an imposter? Be vulnerable. They're listening. Where do I feel like I'm an imposter?
• 25:06
  He might be nowhere. I've never been asked that question. I'm trying to think deep. Where am I being an imposter? Where do you feel like a fraud? Where do you feel that when I ask you?
• 25:16
  Well, right now, I mean, we cut this out or whatever, but, you know, I feel the situation I'm going on with my wife right now in the divorce, because, you know, guys come into my program because they see the relationship I have are part of it, right? You come in, you see guys got, you know, family down pat, he's got business, he's in shape, like it's all attractive. And then this all happened to me, which I would have never thought this would have happened to me. I had no idea what was going to happen. And here I am, I've got people in my program looking up to me.
• 25:45
  And now I'm the one that lost the thing that I teach on the other side about how to make sure this is right. And then, so that part makes me feel a little funny when I talk about it on calls now. Because I'm like, man, I'm like, and then I get people texting me. It's like, man, my relationship is getting so better. I'm like...
• 26:04
  Well, mine's not. You know what I mean? So you feel a little, you know, I feel a little bit there. So that's what comes to mind. I mean, you know, really. Where does that equate to business? Is there someplace in business that you might have taken your eye off?
• 26:24
  I'm only doing this for the audience because everybody's turning and listening. Yeah, I think that I see this a lot. I don't feel I have this right now personally, but I see a lot of people that pretend to be more than what it really is in their business. A lot of us claim to be better at things that we're really not good at and we're not humble enough to admit it. But for me in business… Do you feel successful? Yeah.
• 26:54
  Yes, I do. Do you feel it? Because you can see it, but do you feel it? No.
• 27:04
  The only reason I'm not saying yes right now is because of what I'm going through. Because I feel like, yes, I have money. It's never enough, but like I have money, I have health, I have two beautiful kids, I have a business that operates without me, but because of this other hole in my life right now, which I include to be success, is for me right now,
• 27:28
  That's the something went wrong, which is why I talk about so much and what was before about, you know, your relationship, how that's so important, how you need to pay attention to it and do certain things. And, you know, it's definitely a humbling experience and a gut check of like.
• 27:48
  this happened to me when I just try to be the best version of me and help other people and create this life for you. But there was things, obviously, that didn't happen. So, you know, fully successful? I would say not right now with what I got going on. I know I don't feel it. I mean, I can't even hardly sleep at night, to be honest with you. Why do we, you and me, focus on the one thing? Now, it's a big thing. But everything can be going right in my life.
• 28:17
  And I'll focus on the one interaction that didn't happen. Why do we do that? This is the best thing that can come out of this coaching right now. This is coaching. Yeah. I think for driven men, like we're so driven and we want to be successful and we want to control things and we want things to be right. I mean, for me, that's, I think, a lot of it. But the other piece is like with this situation,
• 28:39
  It's like one of these things I can't fix. Like I'm the type of guy that's fixed everything since I was 14 years old, figured it out, whether that's hard work, paying for it, whatever, I could just like figure out how to solve the problem. And this one thing I can't solve, I feel helpless.
• 28:55
  What if that's the answer? That I think that you need, you need to focus on something that you cannot control. I'll give you a for instance. Yeah, I used to be a pilot and I'm great when I'm in the cockpit. I can you put me in the back. I'm no longer in control. Every bump and every terminal, I'm like freaking out. That's who we are. What if the learning that Jason needs to do and needs to learn so he can teach it to his people is
• 29:21
  Letting go, surrendering, and not having to control and figure everything out. Yeah. What does that make you feel? I think you're right. Now, how do I do that? It's the hardest part, right? It's harder than life, baby. I mean, that's, you know, again, I tell them, we said last night, man, what I'm going through is by far, and I've went through a lot, this is by far the hardest thing ever. Yeah.
• 29:45
  especially because I have kids and how it's happened and the things that all the, there's, there couldn't be anything any worse other than someone dying through this process of how it's all happened. Divorce is worth and worse than my part. And my, my, I've read about it. It's worse because death has its finality. This is going to go on for a long time. It's like you can't get closure because you can't have the conversations. You're like wondering what's going on, but yeah,
• 30:10
  If I didn't spend so much time, honestly, developing my mind in what I'm doing, I would be, this is why people commit suicide and they lose their business. They start doing drugs. They start doing all these things. And I haven't done that. Like, I've literally, like, I've not went backwards at all because I'm like, okay, I'm going to.
• 30:30
  revamp here. I'm going to rebuild my body. I'm going to get in the best shape I've ever been in. So I'm on that journey. Right. I'm like, I am, I am going to like rebuild my body until the end of this year. I'm going to study more self-development where I'm going to become closer to God because I haven't worked on that. And I'm going to become the best dad on the planet. And that's my mission. And I'm going to help millions of men. Like that is my life. That's what I do every day.
• 30:53
  And that's my purpose. Everything else is a distraction for me if it doesn't align with that. So I don't know, man. You know what I heard, bro? What? This is what I heard. I'm going to do, do, do, do, do. Let go. I want you to just.
• 31:09
  I want you to be. I want to go to the gym right now. Just be. Just be. Because I'm about, I'm a couple months ahead of you, man. And I've been through this. And I'm telling you, you'll attract more. And you'll attract the right person. And maybe it'll be her coming back the right way. And this is going to be good for the community. Because have you ever, we've all been through failed relationships, but not like this. This has got, so you're going to learn and you're going to be better.
• 31:36
  For sure. Failure is feedback. But I'm going to tell you what. Take it from me, man. I grew up just the way you did. Every single thing I resonate with. Everything you said has got my freaking heart fluttering, right? Do it the hard. Do the hard thing, which is do nothing.
• 31:51
  Go on a 90-day freaking sabbatical. Go do here, not here. You still do here, but here. It's right here, man, in your mind. Declare war on your mind. Your ceiling is healing in your mind. There's something, probably a month of what I did. I'll introduce you to my FS lady. Go down it and just say, I'm going to figure out how I can just be.
• 32:19
  We're human beings, not human doings. And everything I just heard was do, do, do, do. Because if I'm in best shape of my life, she'll want me back and I'll be worth it. Or the next one.
• 32:32
  Just be alone. Yeah. Just be the best you can be for your kids. So let's. This next question, I'm like, oh, boy. So just be. That's a. It is because you can't do it. You cannot do it right now. But now I'm going to text you every day. And I'm going to say just be. Because I'm in it, dude. And it's.
• 32:51
  I feel like I'm in a movie. I'm in a twilight zone. I mean, literally. Because doing is the easiest thing for us. Yeah. There's so many people here that are listening. They're like, how did they get this motivation? Because we weaponized our freaking terrible upbringings. That's the easiest thing. You tell me to go lift a thousand pounds, work out a freaking every single day for the rest. No problem. I can control that. But you tell me to surrender, let go, let God, and let things happen, attract things, and stop doing, doing, doing, then I feel like I'm going crazy.
• 33:20
  Die. That's going to be a good one. You need to do that too. But I'm there. I'm a little bit farther ahead of it. And I'm telling you, it's working. I take days off the gym now. Oh, my God. I do. And you know what, though? I still got the six pack. And you know what I'm telling you? I think I'm getting bigger.
• 33:38
  At 50, I'm getting bigger because the rest. You're recovering, yes. I'm actually recovering. I'm letting my mind think I'm prioritizing sleep. You said you're not sleeping? Dude. That's part of it. Yeah, I know. And it sleeps you. I mean, you got to sleep to recover. This podcast just took a turn. Again, it's like you're laying there at night, right? It's like I took my kids to the Bahamas. I come back.
• 34:01
  Wife gets them. I'm in this house. Family picture's on the wall. And I hear a pin drop. Like, I'm like, I'm sitting there like, what? What is going on right now? You can't be alone. I got nothing. No, you don't. You got you. But you know what I'm saying? You got you. I know. I know. I'm so freaking proud of you. Your group and you.
• 34:22
  are about to take a massive quantum leap. And it isn't gonna be with doing, it's with just being. And that solitude that you were looking at and that feeling and that, let's go there. What were you feeling when the kids left out the door? What were you feeling?
• 34:42
  By the way, you guys in this program are going to freaking love this. Because this is the fear that you have to face. We're going to go right into this. I mean, you, I mean. Do you feel alone? Empty. Like, almost like a, I mean, it's hard to explain. It's like an outer body experience.
• 34:59
  I was telling him, I was literally coaching 80 people the day before yesterday. And I'm literally thinking about this whole situation as I'm talking to people on the other side, trying to help them. Share it with them. You know what I'm saying? Share it with them. And I need to. Vulnerability isn't your strong suit, huh? Yeah. Well, I have with some, but I haven't. I haven't really talked about it at all on any content, but it's –
• 35:26
  Yeah, empty. Like, how did I get here when I just try to be absolutely the best version of myself? How did you get here? God, I'm so sorry I'm asking this question. This is gold. How did you get here, in your opinion? What did you miss? What signs did you miss? Presence, I think. Wow, we started off talking about that, didn't we? Yeah, being where my feet are.
• 35:50
  You know, and, you know, you look back again, you can look at all the things you didn't do, but it's almost like you do the thing, you check the boxes, you go on the date nights, you do it, but you're not really present.
• 36:01
  Like you're not here. Did you see and hear her? That seems to be the big one. I want to be seen and heard. Here's the other thing. They don't want to be coached, bro. No, God. And they don't want to. That'll push them away. Yeah. And they don't want to be fixed. We're fixers. It's the hardest thing. Let that be. Yeah. That freaking bean stuff keeps coming up. I'm loving this because I'm learning it.
• 36:24
  Yeah, the being. I'm going through something very similar right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the presence being in the moment is, like, hard for me because I'm, like, on go from the moment I fall asleep to the time I wake up.
• 36:40
  I'll be in the bathroom. It doesn't matter where I'm at. It's like my mind is like, let's go, right? But that moment last night or the other day, you know, I spent eight days with them, and all of a sudden they're gone. And then I've been without them for like three days, and I've been trying to get them on the phone for the last two days. And, you know, she's not getting them on the phone for me, and it's like. Oh, you're not in control, Jason? I'm not in control. I hate not being in control. I control everything. So let go. I control everything.
• 37:10
  I said, what's the name of your group? What's the name of your coaching group? Build-A-Man. Build-A-Man. That's the program. So everybody from Build-A-Man, hold him accountable on this. What did you release? What did you allow today? Because he needs all of you guys right now. This is tough. This is a big man with a big heart.
• 37:28
  do anything for any one of you guys. And he needs your love and support and know that it's going to be okay. He knows deep down it's going to be okay. I do. Yeah. I do know. Yeah, I do. It's going to be okay. Going down the biggest pain that you've ever going to feel. And it's allowing things to happen. Been there, bro. And it's not easy for everybody else. It's tends to be, Oh, how do you get that groove? How do you get that push? How do you get that ground? And that's easy for us.
• 37:55
  the opposite is you say your mind is always on the go so what i want yeah i challenge you let go hey guys to not only let go just just not think do you journal what's your journal say new idea here a new idea there i want you to start off with kelly said i need to surrender how in the world do i do that
• 38:21
  And it might be as simple as going back to the Bahamas and going and doing ayahuasca. I don't know what that is. But I'll help you break it down. I mean, you've got a big group of people, but we'll figure it out. And everybody's different. Everybody is different. And it ain't going to be with doing a whole bunch of workouts. Because I got a newsflash. Brother, you're in great shape.
• 38:41
  Your mind needs it. It does. We need to get that mind reset. Well, you know, one thing I did a while back, I was part of Dan Sullivan's group. I don't know if you're familiar with him. Oh, he's great. Yeah. Love his books. Yeah, and two of my favorite top two books, or two of his. But when I was a part of his group, they talked about taking like a day off for the month. And so this was years ago, and I was taking every Wednesday off.
• 39:08
  And that really, and I started meditating. Taking that day, which was the hardest thing to do because it's like, oh, my God, I feel like my business is going to fall apart. But taking that time to go to a resort or just do nothing, like really, people noticed back then. I seemed more calm. I mean, my wife used to say, you seem more calm. When I took that day and I was meditating, I was just a different, I was just acting different. Right.
• 39:32
  And so maybe that's part of what I need to do is just implement that in my life. And like, dude, I'm just, I just, I want to do nothing. When's the last time you did something for you? I mean, I go to the gym. Is that for me? No, it's for everybody else. No, I, I, I, I.
• 39:49
  All right. Everything I do is because I'm trying to be for someone else. Try to perform. Hey, you got a newsflash. You won. Brother, you won. I'm proud of you. Let's get you providing everything you require from within, and you can do that. You know it. You iterate it out fast. Now provide it for yourself. I'll provide it for you. Your friends have provided it for you to start to get you over the crotch, and then now embody it.
• 40:17
  That's the superpower. And then you just said it, you took Wednesdays off, your wife said, and then what made you stop? What made you stop taking Wednesdays off? Probably the doing, you know, just getting just obsessed about the work and the doing, I guess. What's the custody arrangement so far?
• 40:37
  well we're finalizing that now but it's going to be a 225 225 I got a big fight with my ex-wife about that I didn't like that I don't like it either take one of those days or two of those days off the kids are only going to be 5 and 8 once take those days off you mean with them when I'm with them I want two days two days off and be with the kids even if they're at school
• 41:06
  Just take those two days. Those are kid and little Jason days. I'm sorry, man. I'm coaching you. No, that's good. I like that. No, it's good. I've been there and I've been through that. I'm watching your eyes and I'm getting through to you. I can see it. I said something about that and you went, ooh, you're right. Yeah. I want to be right. I just want you to be happy. Yeah. And I want you to be in alignment and you deserve it. You've done the work.
• 41:31
  You've earned it, now you gotta believe it. Believe that you deserve it. So how do we weaponize this for all of our followers, all of our audience? What's the lesson that you want everybody to know? Humility? It can happen to you? It can happen, yes. It can happen to you, and I would say that, even if you're in a relationship and they say it's okay, you need to dig deeper.
• 41:59
  What if I told you it's not your fault?
• 42:04
  I don't believe it's my fault. I don't. I really don't. I think that, like I said, I believe that this is a God thing that's going on that's calling me to do something bigger. And I think that this happened because of that. So I don't go, I don't think, oh man, I didn't do X, Y, Z, because you can always find something you can do. Well, own that little piece of it. Own that. There's going to be something that you didn't take the Wednesdays off. She liked those Wednesdays.
• 42:34
  Right. Those were days that you were... Yeah, I wasn't good at emotional, you know, the peace, the affection. I didn't see it growing up, which is no excuse. But, you know, that was because I'm so, like, not in the moment and I'm not present. It's like, you know, women need the emotional affection and all these things that I'm just not, like, good at. Don't go there. Why won't you...
• 42:56
  Why won't you go into what's not emotional? So you said it, go there. What do you mean by you're not emotional? Just, you know, she would say like the emotional support. I don't know. Like, I don't know that caring maybe. I don't know if that's the right word.
• 43:12
  Notice how uncomfortable he's getting. Yeah, I'm trying to think with. I'm proud of you, man. This is hard. Give us an example. She may listen to this. Yeah, she would make comments about, you know, it's about me and anything that, in fact, right when all this is going on, she's like, what do you even know about me? I'm like, what do you mean? I don't know about you. I've been with you for 15 years. I know everything. And she's like, what do I like? What's my favorite food? And I'm like, I didn't know.
• 43:38
  Maybe that's bad, but basically it's like I didn't really pay attention because it was all about Jason and his mission and his vision, and she supported that for all these years. And, you know, thinking back at what she was saying, it's like I wasn't there for her like she was there for me.
• 43:59
  And there's some truth in that. And it's, but my, my being there for her is different. Meaning that, you know, I provide, I protect, I'm making sure if something happens to Jason, you never have to work. You know, I met her when she was 21. She's never had to have a job ever. You know, she's got an amazing life. We broke both grew up in broken, you know, childhoods and, and, uh, you know, the only thing I wanted to do was just give her a life she never had. I'm so grateful you're here. That, that's, that, that literally was not have to worry about money, not have to, you
• 44:26
  do anything but that one thing that I wasn't giving was the only thing that she said she needed and maybe that's maybe that's true I wasn't you know getting the affection and the emotional support you caring about me and and you know
• 44:40
  She's raising the kids and I'm, what I'm doing. And, you know, you start, you start going like this. You know the answer. And women would much rather feel emotionally supported than financially supported. But us as upbringing, that feels like, of course I'm providing for you. And not only that, just any...
• 45:00
  Type A personalities. Yeah. And it's hard to sit there and listen to what they have to say, especially when they repeat it, and then say nothing. Yeah. Okay, babe, I hear you. I see you. Yeah. It is. That is harder than love, bro. Yeah. And just holding space for them. And I got it. Because you got to get good at this, because your eight-year-old daughter's going to need it. Mm-hmm. You're right. She ain't going to want dad to fix everything. And I sit there with my 17-year-old right now, and I'm like,
• 45:27
  and just listen and she thinks it's the greatest thing and i just spend time and i don't have to spend a lot of money on her i don't i just i provide but the biggest thing she wants me to provide is know that i'm safe and that she can say anything to me and that i'm i'm emotionally intelligent enough to to be there for her
• 45:47
  Yeah. And I don't, that was not an easy thing to do. Yeah. I went through violent amounts of therapy to get here. Yeah. And, and she didn't, I don't think she felt like she could tell me anything without me getting pissed or whatever. Right. That's at least that's what she would say. Is that your default anger? I don't think so. I don't, I'm just, I'm direct.
• 46:09
  It's anger. Is it? I'm direct. If I don't like something, I tell you. But I don't feel like I'm an angry person at all. I really don't. How do you not know? Bro, I'm sorry. This is going to not say. No, this is good. How do you not know her food? How do you not know her favorite food? I mean, I know where her favorite flower is. Oh, that's better, actually. Why don't you send her the favorite flowers with a letter? Yeah.
• 46:31
  I don't know, man. I just... Because it may not be over. She's still the mother of your kids. She is, but she's moved on. Dude, do you think I didn't know that already? I've been here. Women don't swing from one mind until they have the next one. She needs some healing. There's some healing. Because she... Unless she said this, and I don't know her from anybody, unless she came to you and said...
• 46:54
  These are the things that aren't getting met. And if you don't do it, I'm going to have to step. If that wasn't said, and usually they don't because that's a scary conversation. And usually it's just an accident. And oops, here's my trainer that listens and hears me. But once the honeymoon wears off...
• 47:13
  you'll probably get another shot. Yeah. And I, just an ego thing. We're a, we're a man of ego. At the end of the day, I'm loving how uncomfortable you're doing. No, I'm thinking like, dude, cause I, I, and I don't, I don't mind being open cause it helps people. Right. I'm not that guy. There's so many people. I'll say whatever. There's millions of people listening right now. They're like, these two are getting vulnerable. But you know, I, we've had conversations in the past about me not, you know, doing those things and, you know, not paying attention, you know,
• 47:43
  We've had those, but when this happened, like I went back through three months where the text might be, there was nothing there. There was no sign. We just did an event at my house. There was no signs of anything. How did you find out? She just didn't come home. She went to a hotel and said she didn't feel comfortable coming home, and then I started piecing things together, and there was already plans in the motion in place of all the things, the lawyers, the divorce, the money, the...
• 48:14
  the everything that i that i uncovered you are in the mud bro and i'm so glad you're here and there's no coincidences i i wanna all right so when i look at her now honestly like i'm disgusted like i used to think she was the most attractive person on the planet and even at 10 years would have been our anniversary august 15th this year i was planning on doing something special what's that whole thing they call the 10-year itch
• 48:40
  Is that what it is? There's a 10-year itch, isn't there? We have to look this up. There is a 10-year itch. No, it is. Yeah. That's a thing. She made it. We're human, man. But with her 15 years, and I was always attracted. Every year I would get more attracted. Honestly, I would. And she knows that. I would tell her that. She knows that.
• 49:03
  Jason, how were you when you were 37? How was she, 37? She's 37. How were you at 37? Did you have it all figured out? No, I don't have it figured out at 50.
• 49:12
  I mean, no, I didn't. No, for sure. She's 37, bro. I mean, that's not young, but it's not old. And I didn't know. I'm with you. I feel like 40, I started learning something. 43 is when I did this whole heart of the life change. And then I started like, whoa, everything that I knew up until 43, I knew was wrong. Right. And then at 50, this is when I completely, when was your birthday? It's August 17th. I'll be 51.
• 49:40
  Oh, when I turned 50, everything kind of slowed down, everything. Just like, okay. And I just kind of feeling things out like, what do I do next? I basically killed off my identity. And I don't know. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I'm in purgatory. Yeah. Or I'm halfway between. And that sounds like where you're coming into right now. And you're forced to do it.
• 50:04
  I ask you to just hold space and realize she's 37 and she's a human and she's trying to figure this thing out too. And this didn't happen overnight. And own every piece of it you can. Not your fault, but you are responsible. Sure.
• 50:19
  I'm just coaching the crap out of you. I know what the hell I'm talking about. No, I believe the man is the leader of the house. I teach it. Everything falls on you as the leader of the house. There's things obviously I didn't do right, and I'll take ownership of that. But sometimes the leader has to follow, and we ain't good at that. No, I'm not. I'm going we because I ain't either, but the best leaders.
• 50:42
  allow other people to lead because you got to teach people how to lead as well. She's, you know, what happens if something happened to you? She'd have to lead.
• 50:51
  Man, you are, this is such meaty information and there's so many people who are helping through this and it's not easy. So you go right back to the fitness and because fitness is everything. I've seen your pictures, you're a fricking, not many people are better shaped than me and you are. And I'm like, wow. So someone who's maybe not in shape, what do you teach your people in your group that, and I laugh, round is a shape, but the people that aren't in shape,
• 51:21
  crazy physical, what do you teach them how they can fall back on fitness? Because that's the first thing I asked you is, what are you gonna do? I'm gonna get in best shape. How has that fitness parlayed you into your success?
• 51:33
  Well, I think fitness, you know, when I started this journey at 34, 35 years old, was when a buddy of mine called me out and I was getting a little turkey neck and a little pudgy here and I'm going to use the word obsessed again. And I found this guy 15 years ago, I'm friends with him now, of a picture I wanted to look like. And I started down this journey, but when I started changing my body,
• 51:56
  Man, and it's not even the aesthetic part. That's a byproduct of doing it, but it was more the mental. Especially now, you're going through hard times. Me getting into the gym is my thing because of what I get mentally of. Lifting something heavy or doing something hard or feeling the burn. And that discipline and the consistency that it took to build the body that you can't buy, by the way,
• 52:20
  You can't buy it. You can only respect it. I believe it's the highest form of self-respect that a man can have. I believe that people judge you in two seconds when they look at you. It's brought me more opportunities than anything else in my life by far in my business, in
• 52:37
  relationships, people wanting to know you because you have a standard that most people don't have. It's attracted to people. And that same discipline and consistency and working on the basics is the same things of how I built my business. It's not the fancy stuff. It's the very basics of doing something every day, keeping your word to yourself, making progress, builds momentum. Then you start to see the results from it. And it's just a compound effect of...
• 53:06
  Yes, your body changes, but what it does to your mind, you're rewiring how you view yourself. And most men struggle because they don't like it when they look in the mirror because they know they're not operating at,
• 53:17
  100% capacity. Most of them are operating at 50% capacity. They've lost their edge, their confidence, their fire, purpose, passion, all of it, because they just don't like who they are. So if you change, I tell it, like, if you're stuck, like, if you do anything, change your body, your whole life can change. I don't care if you're broke. It doesn't matter because people, it will bring you opportunities because people will see you differently. Look good, feel good, do good. Right, yeah, exactly, dude. So here we're brothers from another mother. The thing I like about
• 53:47
  Working out is the dopamine you get. And it's the only thing that you can do and get a picture of what you'll look like after. Because you get the pump and you can look and go, if I keep doing this, this is what I'm going to look like. And we're selling the proof, not a promise. That's right. Because if you can go in and look like this at 50, most people can't do this at 30. Right.
• 54:09
  We're 50 and we're doing it. You say what you want about peptides and steroids. I've looked like this for 30 years. Somebody showed me a picture of me when I was 20. I look just like I'm 210 pounds. I'm 210 pounds right now. That's 30 years. I don't need to tell you that I'm going to stay. And I'm going to tell you one more, Jay.
• 54:29
  I'm betting on you. You're going to slay this dragon, but you're going to do it a different way. You're not going to do it with doing that watch. So I asked you all that and shared all that. So if the money disappeared tomorrow, what part of what you built would still be standing? How I think and operate my mindset. And I'd get it all back. Because of how I think and operate. I don't want to, I'm going to think how I want to say this. How are you going to get...
• 54:58
  romantic love back is how I'm going to put this. Oh, okay. You were talking about that. No, no, no, I wasn't. I was talking about business. How am I going to get romantic? And then I'm going to specifically put you on the spot. Yeah, I think that, well, I'm not searching for that. Like that, even the idea of that is like repulsive right now. I love that too, by the way. I'm proud of you for that. Because most people, I'm going to go next, next, next. It's that, the longer you can be alone is a superpower.
• 55:26
  Yeah, yeah. No, I think for me, it's, you know, going through this, doing a lot of reflecting, spending time with myself, working on me and, you know, getting some help on the emotional side going, you know, I've already researched it's like, who can help me with this gap in my game? Because I'm all about if I got a hole, I'll fix it.
• 55:47
  and I'll pay to get it, right? And so maybe it's something what you did right that I'll do to get better because I've mastered certain areas of my life, and it's like, okay, this is obviously an issue, and I don't want it to happen again. And more importantly, I want to be able to show my kids. I want them to see this evolution of their dad and me to be able to handle things differently.
• 56:10
  them see that so that my daughter grows up and understands what, what a real man, how he operates. So, you know what I'm saying? Love it. So that's for me. It's like, it's like, man, I just want to become, I got to fix this for my kids sake. And then I will attract the right things because of that. I'll attract the right person because of the changes that I've made. Fix it for you. If you're all right, kids will be all right. That's true. Yeah. It's a default answer. Fix it. You come first.
• 56:39
  I want you to, you're going to come first and then everything else, everybody will be okay after that. I'm really proud of you and I'm really glad you're here. And you got a new friend in me. And I got some people I'm going to introduce you to and we'll figure out where you can learn that. But your self-awareness is off the charts. And that's where a lot of people mess up. The number one thing I want everyone to understand is a lot of times you'll see me walk around with a mirror.
• 56:58
  Because there's one finger pointing away and there's three pointing right back at you. And that mirror, everybody lies to themselves and you don't. And I just heard you be very humble, take it on the chin. We weren't even supposed to go here. We did. Probably going to cost you some money. Sorry. But guys are going to learn from this. And what I learned is two machismo, big, sexy men...
• 57:23
  being vulnerable and saying hey man we need to soften up mm-hmm
• 57:30
  and soften up because the grind and the hardness, it won't get you where you, it got us here. It won't get you there. Yeah. And I think part of that too is, you know, there's a reason I love the group and the community we have and, you know, getting to meet people like yourself is you're getting around like-minded people that have been through similar challenges and you can share experiences and the winners are trying to help you. You know what I mean? Losers, they don't want to help you, but winners want you to get better. There's plenty out there for everyone. It's like, you know,
• 57:57
  That's why I love doing what I'm doing now. It's like the mission is like, how do I just help a lot of people through my own experience? Because it's the best feeling I've ever had in my life. And I didn't figure this out until a year and a half ago. We just helped a lot of people. Losers assign blame, winners fix problems. And, you know, a loser has a problem for every solution.
• 58:16
  They do, man. And I never met a freaking somebody doing better than somebody ever freaking knocking them down. You reach out to any, any of our friends and they're going to be like, dude, come on. Like you just talked about Andy. Just come to Mexico. Come on. This is what people are going to do. But now they need to hold the mirror up with you and walk with you and say, and that's what I'll do for you. I'll do with you.
• 58:36
  yeah and uh that's i'm probably you're courageous bro that's the thing you're facing a fear it feels scary as i'm speaking for myself and i we're a lot alike yeah it feels scary to not do uh-huh yeah and i've been doing it for a couple of months as a matter of fact i'm about 90 i i said i'm gonna do it for 90 days i'm 30 days in and it's like what am i accomplishing what's going what
• 58:59
  But I'm building a muscle. Since everything we do is about fitness and muscles, I'm building a muscle I've never even tried. And it's the muscle of just being. Being. Yeah. I love that. That's the takeaway for me. Presence and being. We're coming up the end of it. We're going to do rapid fire. But before I do that, I just kind of want to turn over to you and just say out of all that stuff, on everything we talked about.
• 59:22
  What's your takeaway and what would you like to tell your community? My biggest takeaway, I guess, my own learning here is being present and letting things go and being, like you said. I mean, so I learned a lot just by sitting here and reflecting as you're talking. And I think this is where a lot of us, driven entrepreneurs, business owners struggle is like we just do, do, do, do, do.
• 59:50
  And we're not taking care of ourselves in the ways that we need to. And I'm thinking about the whole relationship thing. If you're someone that's in a relationship, like get that in check, have that deep conversation.
• 1:00:04
  to figure out where you actually really stand so that you don't go through what I'm going through right now and just get totally blindsided because it's a real thing. God gave you two eyes, two ears and one mouth. That's right. I bet you we were, we, we talked too much. Um, listen a little more, a lot more. Um, one last bonus question I just thought of 14 year old Jason sitting here right now, sitting right where I'm sitting 50 year old. You, what do you say? I know.
• 1:00:29
  I would say, number one, be yourself. Be humble. Be authentic. Be real because there's not a lot of that out there. Try to figure out what you want in life. Figure out who's got it. Strengthen your relationship with God first. Find mentors that are ahead of you in areas of life that you want to go and figure out how to get close to them and cut out distractions. Good one. Good one. Give them a hug. Yeah.
• 1:00:55
  He did well. He did very well. That 4-2-year-old boy was very courageous. 20s made a lot of money. 30s made a lot of money. This reminds me of success versus significance. And now you're helping a lot of people. Let's specifically get into our 40s because we want to help a bunch of people in their 20s and 30s fast track it. What happened in your 40s? What did you learn from it that we can then teach 20 and 30-year-olds to address sooner?
• 1:01:25
  Yeah, I think for me, when I hit my 40s, because I was still so involved in my business, late 30s, early 40s, I was just miserable, man, because I'd just been grinding for so long. Again, it was cool in your 20s to work all night and day, and 30s, it's okay. In your 40s, it's like become a burden because you've built more responsibilities. You've got more things. I was taking care of my mom. I have been house, car, all of it since I was 14.
• 1:01:50
  It still do to this day. And there's a lot of pressure with that. So you've built this life and then you have to sustain that life, that certain lifestyle that you had by creating the business that you created. But for me, it was because I couldn't figure out how to get out of the day-to-day weeds of the business.
• 1:02:10
  After doing it for 20 years, I just started to hate everything. Like I wasn't going to quit because I don't do that. But, dude, I would have gave back all the money, just had some peace. So what I wouldn't do is chase the money. I would chase the man, build yourself, become an excellent leader, get around the right people, and don't focus on the money. Focus on becoming so valuable the money chases you. And so most people are chasing the money without becoming valuable.
• 1:02:36
  And I think that's what I was doing most of the time. I mean, I was valuable, but it was just all about how much more can I make? How much more can I make? And doing, doing, doing instead of developing me as a leader and building teams around me. So I would have started building the teams earlier if I would have become someone new. And then finding mentors that were way ahead of me, which I always had mentors, but it was kind of like –
• 1:03:00
  Not the right mentors. I had some, but they didn't live the life that I wanted. So for me, in the 40s, it started finding people that really, from a value standpoint. Because now I don't want to take advice from people that don't have similar values. I don't care how much money you're making. I'm not interested if you're doing it the wrong way. You know what I'm saying? So it's finding someone with the values that you wanted. But for me, it was just...
• 1:03:26
  I couldn't figure out how to get out of the day-to-day. It was crushing me. And I had to keep going because I had all the financial things that I had to pay for, and I couldn't get out of it. And it was misery. Almost some days I wanted to lose it all. Like, what would happen if it just burnt down? Because everyone's depending on me. Well, who do I depend on?
• 1:03:49
  That was going to be my next question. Like, who do I depend on? So I'm like, everyone's coming to me to fix the problem. Like, I just wonder if it burns down. Like, what are y'all going to do now? Who's going to help you? Because you feel like you're – and you still do it at this date. Like, I don't have anybody helping me.
• 1:04:04
  Like, I really don't. Like, I am the support for everything in my life, something breaks, something fixed, some problem, this, that. I am the solution. There's not a solution for me, and there never has been. And I think, you know, over time, you get the burnout of that. It's, like, exhausting.
• 1:04:21
  And then again, now you had the money. It was cool earlier. Now it's not because I have to keep doing it to sustain what I built. It's like you built this thing that you don't even want anymore. I was like, I'll just give it all back to you and go sleep in the car again. That was my thoughts. I'll just give it all back and sleep in the car. Then what is everyone going to do?
• 1:04:39
  Oh, dude, I know exactly what you mean. I've been there and done that. And this is what I heard. Get your mind right and then your grind right. Exactly. And then what I also heard is control, control, control, control again. And nobody's got you. And I got a newsflash for you. You haven't let anybody get you. Yeah.
• 1:04:57
  Because you got you. If you let go of that, you feel like the whole house of cards is going to collapse. I got a newsflash for you. You got some really good people in your group as well as in your friends. And now you got me. And we all got you. And we get it. I've been there. I am you. And you...
• 1:05:22
  I want to hug you, man, because I feel it. And thanks for being here. Let's go through these rapid fire stuff because this is kind of fun ones. Everybody listens to this stuff. I'm going to adjust a couple. Is this supposed to be truck or tools? Which one do you buy first? Let's amend that truck tools are therapy. Therapy. Right? That's another thing, man. Invest in yourself.
• 1:05:49
  That's the young guys. Invest yourself. Best investment you'll ever make. Best investment by far. I'm so glad you brought that. That was what I was doing earlier in my career. It's the best thing you'll ever do. Yeah. Most useless piece of advice you've got before 20? I'm going to say college education. That's so weird. I deviate. I went to college just when I grew up. Yeah. But luckily I got a scholarship and it was, first thing you fire when the company stalls, a person or a process? Process. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:06:16
  The workout you never skip. Legs. Get out of town. Really? Oh, I hate legs. You say my legs are small. I saw you look at them. We went to the 14-year-old boy. What would the 17-year-old say to you, say about you right now? Standards. High standards. He'd say you have high standards? I think mine would say he's proud of me. Thanks.
• 1:06:44
  motivation is what temporarily everyone this is been a doozy we took some twists and turns my man got vulnerable um he's got a couple of people here that are in his program and he's squirming all over the place i'm proud of you and uh made a your your new brother for me and
• 1:07:08
  I'm not even going to have to tell people to share this one. This is a doozy. All of his people, this dude is the real deal. I'd let him coach me anytime, and I'm glad you're here, and he's harder than life. Till next week, you guys be harder than life. Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Seagull supporters.
• 1:07:26
  Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with. Delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.