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Mojo Monday - How Values and Virtues Move us Towards a Meaningful Life · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

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  Speaker 1: Hey there, welcome back to Mojo Monday. I'm Carly Taylor,
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  Speaker 1: and today we're diving into something that can really help
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  Speaker 1: us shape our lives in a good way. And that's
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  Speaker 1: how our character strengths or virtues and our values work
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  Speaker 1: together to create a meaningful life. It's often in those
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  Speaker 1: everyday moments when life throws a challenge or a curveball
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  Speaker 1: at us, that we get stuck. You know, maybe it's
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  Speaker 1: a tough day at work, or a disagreement with your
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  Speaker 1: partner or family member or friend, or maybe you're just
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  Speaker 1: feeling stuck for no reason. And what I've found is
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  Speaker 1: that getting really clear and tapping into our character strengths
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  Speaker 1: and our values can be a guide for us even
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  Speaker 1: when you're having a life wobble. But here's the thing.
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  Speaker 1: While we often talk about our values and our character
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  Speaker 1: strengths like they're the same thing, they're actually quite different.
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  Speaker 1: And so today I wanted to break that down for you.
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  Speaker 1: So let's start with character strengths, or what we call virtues.
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  Speaker 1: So these are those qualities that often arise naturally when
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  Speaker 1: we're faced with a challenge. So think about courage, or kindness,
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  Speaker 1: perseverance or curiosity, you don't necessarily have to force them.
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  Speaker 1: They're just a part of who you are, like they're
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  Speaker 1: in an invisible toolkit that you carry around with you.
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  Speaker 1: But it's also important to know that we can develop them.
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  Speaker 1: So let's take a strength like resilience. By deliberately doing
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  Speaker 1: stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable increases your resilience. And
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  Speaker 1: so we should aim to do that as part of
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  Speaker 1: our personal growth. And another one is gratitude. Gratitude is
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  Speaker 1: something that you can develop by doing a daily gratitude ritual. Now,
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  Speaker 1: psychologists Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson came up with something
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  Speaker 1: called the VIA, which stands for Values in Action Classification,
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  Speaker 1: and it identifies twenty four human character strengths that fall
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  Speaker 1: under six overarching virtues. And it so happens that the
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  Speaker 1: four of these virtues that Seligman used are the stoic
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  Speaker 1: cardinal virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. And we
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  Speaker 1: can use the term character strengths and virtues interchangeably. That
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  Speaker 1: values are different. So I will get to values in
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  Speaker 1: a minute. I'll give you another example. So kindness. Kindness
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  Speaker 1: is being generous and caring towards others, and it's something
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  Speaker 1: that can show up when a friend needs support or perseverance,
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  Speaker 1: which is that grit that keeps you going when things
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  Speaker 1: get tough, or curiosity. The curiosity is kind of what
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  Speaker 1: makes you ask questions and want to learn more. So
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  Speaker 1: I've got a personal example for you. So right now,
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  Speaker 1: I try to tap into the virtue of courage. And
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  Speaker 1: that means that when I'm faced with a challenge, or
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  Speaker 1: even when I'm experiencing negative self talk or anxiety, which
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  Speaker 1: can you pull me back into my comfort zone and
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  Speaker 1: stop me from doing the things that are important, I
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  Speaker 1: try to intentionally draw on courage too, so I can
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  Speaker 1: move forward despite how I feel. And it's important that
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  Speaker 1: you understanding that courage doesn't mean confidence. So even without confidence,
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  Speaker 1: I will try and do what's important to me by
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  Speaker 1: breathing into the virtue of courage. And that might mean
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  Speaker 1: I've got to sit with some discomfort for a while,
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  Speaker 1: but confidence comes from practice and experience, so it's really
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  Speaker 1: its courage is an important virtue for me to build
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  Speaker 1: my confidence. I mean, I've done things now that ten
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  Speaker 1: years years ago I would never have done because I
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  Speaker 1: didn't consciously know back then or intentionally know to tap
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  Speaker 1: into that virtue of courage. I just relied very heavily
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  Speaker 1: on emotions to guide me in my decisions, which was
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  Speaker 1: not always pretty and it didn't often lead me down
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  Speaker 1: the path of growth, that all path that I wanted
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  Speaker 1: to be on. So having an awareness and a awareness
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  Speaker 1: and intention around courage has really helped me stay on
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  Speaker 1: that path. So let's move now onto values. So values
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  Speaker 1: are a little different. They're more like a life compass.
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  Speaker 1: They point you in the direction that feels meaningful for you.
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  Speaker 1: Values are deeply held beliefs about what's important to you,
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  Speaker 1: deep in your heart, and for some it might be family,
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  Speaker 1: for others it might be achievement or health. Your values
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  Speaker 1: really shape your decisions and help you to prioritize what
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  Speaker 1: really matters to you, which is really important in this
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  Speaker 1: world of distraction right now. So my top values family,
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  Speaker 1: and that focuses very much on my immediate family. But
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  Speaker 1: I also use that this value as a compass for
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  Speaker 1: me to prioritize my extended family. So making sure I
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  Speaker 1: call my dad regularly and I meet him for lunch.
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  Speaker 1: And you know, now I'm talking out loud about this,
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  Speaker 1: I realize I probably could call other members of my
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  Speaker 1: family a lot more. But when we're clear on what
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  Speaker 1: is important to us deep down in our hearts and
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  Speaker 1: what can make a difference to others, we can choose
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  Speaker 1: to give this part of our lives attention and action
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  Speaker 1: over the things that are maybe not as important. So
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  Speaker 1: here's a simple way to think about it. So virtues
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  Speaker 1: or character strengths are how you show up and values
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  Speaker 1: are why you do it, So they guide you towards
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  Speaker 1: what feels important and meaningful. For example, you might use
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  Speaker 1: that strength talking about of courage to speak up at work,
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  Speaker 1: but the reason you speak up could be because you
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  Speaker 1: value contribution or you value progress. It's about understanding that
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  Speaker 1: these two forces and how they work, how they work
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  Speaker 1: together to help you navigate your life. And let's talk
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  Speaker 1: now about how these effective are really effective for intentional living.
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  Speaker 1: So when you know your virtues and your values, it's
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  Speaker 1: like you've got this map for personal growth and for resilience.
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  Speaker 1: So first of all, knowing your strengths gives you clarity
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  Speaker 1: around your natural tendencies. You know, maybe perseverance is one
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  Speaker 1: of your top strengths, and that helps you push through
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  Speaker 1: the tough challenges. But it's also knowing what strengths you
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  Speaker 1: would like to work on. So if you need to
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  Speaker 1: work on perseverance, then you can intentionally tap into that.
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  Speaker 1: And then values, on the other hand, gives you give
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  Speaker 1: you this sense purpose. So for example, if you value creativity,
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  Speaker 1: you might choose a career or hobby that lets you
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  Speaker 1: express that, like you know, painting or writing. So when
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  Speaker 1: you align your decisions with your values, life feels more authentic.
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  Speaker 1: If you value integrity, you are more likely to make
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  Speaker 1: honest choices, even when that choice could be a difficult one.
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  Speaker 1: And when you combine that with the strengths like courage
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  Speaker 1: or leadership, pick at this powerful combination that can really
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  Speaker 1: move you towards what matters in your life. And without
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  Speaker 1: this compass, we're more likely to react to our circumstances
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  Speaker 1: rather than respond intentionally. And if we allow our emotions
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  Speaker 1: to take control, which are not always an accurate indication
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  Speaker 1: of what we should do, we can end up down
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  Speaker 1: a path that we don't want to be on, or
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  Speaker 1: we can end up doing things that we may regret
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  Speaker 1: later on. And I say that from direct experience that
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  Speaker 1: our strengths and values don't just serve us individually as well,
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  Speaker 1: they're the glue that holds our relationships together. You know,
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  Speaker 1: things like strengths like kindness and empathy help us connect
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  Speaker 1: with others, and shared values can deepen those connections. You know,
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  Speaker 1: if you value family, you're naturally going to prioritize and
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  Speaker 1: nurture those relationships and create those strong bonds. And when
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  Speaker 1: we share values with others, it can create a deeper
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  Speaker 1: and more authentic connection. And I'm sure you have all
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  Speaker 1: experienced that. When you've met somebody for the first time
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  Speaker 1: and you start talking to them and you kind of
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  Speaker 1: get that sense that you share the same values, you
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  Speaker 1: can connect with people a lot deeper and a lot quicker.
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  Speaker 1: But I also find that when others don't share my values,
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  Speaker 1: rather than getting swept up in judgments, I can draw
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  Speaker 1: on my value of curiosity in order to have an
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  Speaker 1: understanding of others but not necessary barely means I've got
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  Speaker 1: to agree with them, but I can understand them more
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  Speaker 1: and understand their perspective of things. And finally, character strengths
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  Speaker 1: can build resilience, and traits like perseverance and humor can
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  Speaker 1: help you navigate life's inevitable bumps. And when you're guided
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  Speaker 1: by your values, maybe a value like personal growth you
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  Speaker 1: can see adversity as an opportunity for learning even when
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  Speaker 1: it's hard, and that perspective can change everything. So to
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  Speaker 1: wrap it all up, virtues or character strengths and values
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  Speaker 1: are like they're like a dynamic duo for living a
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  Speaker 1: full and meaningful life. And character strengths are the tools
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  Speaker 1: that you can use every day to face challenges and
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  Speaker 1: values are the compass that points you towards what really matters.
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  Speaker 1: And this is all part of intentional living. So if
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  Speaker 1: it's something you think that will help you do that,
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  Speaker 1: spend some time thinking about what's strength and values that
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  Speaker 1: you have or you would like to have, and once
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  Speaker 1: you know those, you'll have this powerful guide for making
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  Speaker 1: your decisions and building relationships and finding resilience when life
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  Speaker 1: throws you those curveballs. And if you're not sure what
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  Speaker 1: strengths you have or you're curious, then you could do
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  Speaker 1: the free via Character Strength Survey, which I can put
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  Speaker 1: the link in the show notes for you. As I said,
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  Speaker 1: it's free. We don't have any affiliation with them, but
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  Speaker 1: we've used this link a lot. I use them with
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  Speaker 1: my clients and it can be really helpful to either
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  Speaker 1: validate what you already know, or maybe it will highlight
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  Speaker 1: some strengths that you didn't even know you had. So
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  Speaker 1: thank you for joining me on this episode of Majo Monday.
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  Speaker 1: I hope it's sparked a bit of insight for you.
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  Speaker 1: I hope you'll all have a good week and I
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  Speaker 1: will catch you next week