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My Husband Left Me 6 Months After Having Twins.... And We Had A $50k Debt · She's On The Money

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  Speaker 1: My name is Aatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
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  Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young
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  Speaker 1: Ganya Niana, kaka ya Ya bin Ahaka Nian Our gay
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  Speaker 1: In Nimbina, yakarum Jar, Dominyama, Domaghawakaman, Damon Imlan Bomber bang
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  Speaker 1: Gadabomba in and now in wakah ghan On, yak rum
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  Speaker 1: Jar water Nadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the
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  Speaker 1: lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge and respect
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  Speaker 1: the Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take
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  Speaker 1: pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see.
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  Speaker 1: She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
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  Speaker 1: bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
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  Speaker 2: She's on the Money.
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  Speaker 3: She's on the Money.
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  Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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  Speaker 4: that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits
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  Speaker 4: for educational purposes of course. Welcome back to another one
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  Speaker 4: of our money daries where I get the absolute pleasure
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  Speaker 4: of sitting down to talk with one of our beautiful
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  Speaker 4: community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into
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  Speaker 4: it because I got an email this week and it
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  Speaker 4: sounded exactly like this, dear, She's on the money. The
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  Speaker 4: same week I returned to work after maternity leave, my
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  Speaker 4: husband walked out on me and my six month old
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  Speaker 4: twins for another woman, and we were in fifty thousand
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  Speaker 4: dollars worth of personal debt at the time. Now, three
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  Speaker 4: years later, I'm investing, I'm saving, and I'm earning more
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  Speaker 4: than one hundred thousand dollars a year, all with a
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  Speaker 4: fabulous new man and with many thanks to She's on
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  Speaker 4: the Money.
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  Speaker 5: We are now planning another.
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  Speaker 4: Baby and we are loving life. I want to share
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  Speaker 4: my story and show other women that you who can
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  Speaker 4: turn your life around when somebody else throws it into turmoil.
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  Speaker 4: Money Rise, welcome to the show.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you. What a wild ride.
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  Speaker 5: That is chaos.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, it was a time of my life that I
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  Speaker 2: really didn't see coming. And now I'm in a much
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  Speaker 2: better position in I think every aspect. So it was
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  Speaker 2: really a blessing in disguise.
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  Speaker 4: I don't know if i'd call it a blessing in disguise.
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  Speaker 4: Like when I was six months postpartum, I was still chaos,
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  Speaker 4: Like my hormones still hadn't balanced, Like I was not
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  Speaker 4: feeling my best self. I don't know what your postpartum
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  Speaker 4: journey was like, but like I was struggling with breastfeeding,
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  Speaker 4: I was anxious. I was all of these things as
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  Speaker 4: the first time mum. And girl, you had two babies,
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  Speaker 4: you had two. I only had one, and I was
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  Speaker 4: finding that challenging. And then your husband was like, by
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  Speaker 4: the way, I've been cheating on you.
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  Speaker 2: What the hell?
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  Speaker 5: Like, girl, what the hell? I'm so sorry.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I didn't actually realize he was cheating, and
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  Speaker 2: that was I think the crazy thing. I just got
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  Speaker 2: a text message saying I don't love you or anymore
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  Speaker 2: and don't be home for the next few hours because
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  Speaker 2: I'm moving my stuff out.
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  Speaker 5: Excuse me?
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  Speaker 2: What? Yeah? So my mom was actually the one that
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  Speaker 2: said I think there's another woman, and I was like,
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  Speaker 2: don't be ridiculous.
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  Speaker 4: Stop stop stop, all right, all right, I have to
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  Speaker 4: ask you before we get into it, because I need
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  Speaker 4: all these juice money diris what grade would you give
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  Speaker 4: your money?
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  Speaker 5: Habits from A three to F C?
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  Speaker 4: All right, I feel like I see very warranted, but
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  Speaker 4: can we please get back into the gossip side of this.
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  Speaker 4: Oh so your mom goes, girl, I think that there's
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  Speaker 4: another woman, and you were like, that's crazy, absolutely not.
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  Speaker 2: I was just thinking, why would he have the time
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  Speaker 2: for that. I've got twins with him. Isn't life chaos?
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  Speaker 2: But maybe the extra overtime shifts that I wasn't looking
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  Speaker 2: at the perceived money coming into the account weren't actually
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  Speaker 2: being worked.
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  Speaker 5: Stop it, stop it. What an actual piece of.
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  Speaker 2: Sh Yeah, it was a really strange time.
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  Speaker 5: I'm not gonna lie.
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  Speaker 4: I'm so glad he exited your life, Like even though
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  Speaker 4: that would have felt terrible.
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  Speaker 5: So what happens?
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  Speaker 4: So this guy didn't even have balls to sit you
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  Speaker 4: down and be like, hey, money, diris, this is what's
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  Speaker 4: going on?
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  Speaker 5: He text you.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, he said he was staying at a friend's house
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  Speaker 2: and she forgot that his iPhone location wasn't turned off.
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  Speaker 2: So then in the end we worked out that that
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  Speaker 2: was the case and that he was actually at a
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  Speaker 2: woman's house that he was working with.
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  Speaker 5: No, stop it, stop it. What did you do?
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  Speaker 2: I just basically said, don't bother coming back ever again.
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  Speaker 2: Like that's it. You're done. Girl.
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  Speaker 4: You seem so much nicer than me, Like I'm just
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  Speaker 4: telling you right now, I think I would end up
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  Speaker 4: in jail.
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  Speaker 2: I just don't think I had the mental load. That
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  Speaker 2: was really a saving grace in that situation.
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  Speaker 4: And you're probably looking back and being like, why wasn't
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  Speaker 4: I crazy? Like I know, but I mean, realistically, who's
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  Speaker 4: laughing now, rewind?
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  Speaker 5: I want to know. So you fell pregnant with twins?
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  Speaker 5: What was that like?
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  Speaker 4: Because, like, as someone who has been pregnant, oh my goodness,
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  Speaker 4: when they said it's a single baby, I was like, oh,
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  Speaker 4: like twins would have been magic, but like, thank god.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, So I was off work for about ten weeks prior,
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  Speaker 2: and it was during COVID times as well, so I
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  Speaker 2: was being extra cautious. So I spent ten weeks sitting
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  Speaker 2: at home before I had my babies, waiting for that
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  Speaker 2: to happen. And then they came right at thirty seven weeks,
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  Speaker 2: so I was really lucky.
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  Speaker 5: Hey, that's very good for tweens.
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  Speaker 2: Really good. Yeah, we had a very crazy birth story.
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  Speaker 2: I ended up on life support in insensitive care. It
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  Speaker 2: was really not what I expected at all.
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  Speaker 5: Are you okay? Now?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah? Absolutely fine? Now, totally fine now, thank goodness, But
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  Speaker 2: just really not what i'd planned, you know, really wanted
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  Speaker 2: a natural birth that didn't happen, and we ended up
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  Speaker 2: having a cesarean, which is okay, but yeah, just like.
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  Speaker 4: A whole lot, I had the same thing. I mean,
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  Speaker 4: I definitely didn't end up in life support. But it's
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  Speaker 4: interesting how much pressure are we as women put on ourselves.
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  Speaker 4: Because had you had a conversation about birth with me
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  Speaker 4: before I was pregnant, I was like, oh, it doesn't matter,
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  Speaker 4: like I was a cesarean baby, No one knows the difference.
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  Speaker 4: I was a cesare very formula baby, Like like that's fine,
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  Speaker 4: Like you say all the right things, right, you go,
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  Speaker 4: fedi's best, happy mum, safe mum, safe delivery, safe baby,
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  Speaker 4: all of that stuff, and then all of a sudden
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  Speaker 4: you get pregnant and you just have this craving for
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  Speaker 4: a natural birth and you're like, I just want to
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  Speaker 4: be able to give my babies the best start to
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  Speaker 4: the life.
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  Speaker 5: What's that even mean?
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  Speaker 2: Exactly? That's right, And I think there's so much pressure
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  Speaker 2: put on that. And in a lot of ways, I
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  Speaker 2: felt lucky because I didn't feel that pressure as much.
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  Speaker 2: Being twins. I felt like I had a lot more
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  Speaker 2: of a choice in that space. But I can't imagine
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  Speaker 2: people that have one baby that they really don't feel
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  Speaker 2: like they can advocate for themselves in that space.
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  Speaker 4: No, And like I look back on it, and you know,
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  Speaker 4: when I had my baby, I was very lucky. I
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  Speaker 4: got invited on Australian birth Stories and I never went
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  Speaker 4: because I just wasn't ready to talk about my birth story.
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  Speaker 4: I didn't want to share it. It's not because I
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  Speaker 4: was embarrassed of it. It's honestly because it upset me
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  Speaker 4: so much. And it was because I didn't get what
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  Speaker 4: I wanted. And the more that I reflected on it,
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  Speaker 4: and you know, spoke to people, and you know, I
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  Speaker 4: had the just being surrounded by a lot of people,
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  Speaker 4: within a lot of knowledge, it gets more and more upsetting.
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  Speaker 4: And I'm sure you had a similar story where people
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  Speaker 4: go what happened next? And you go, oh this, and
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  Speaker 4: they go, oh, they shouldn't have done that, and.
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  Speaker 5: You go, what do you mean?
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  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
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  Speaker 4: Like you mean I should have said no there, or
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  Speaker 4: I should have suggested something else, or I should have
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  Speaker 4: asked for anyway. It became quite a reflective period of
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  Speaker 4: time for me where I was like, you mean, I
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  Speaker 4: could have probably prevented this in your situation very different,
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  Speaker 4: but like you end up heartbroken, and I don't know
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  Speaker 4: about you. I'm delusional enough to think that next time
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  Speaker 4: I have a baby, I'm going to get a feedback.
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  Speaker 4: I somehow, why, no reason, I'm just full of delusion.
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  Speaker 4: So tell me about this. You're on life support? How
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  Speaker 4: does that happen?
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  Speaker 2: So we ended up having an emergency cesarean, like a
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  Speaker 2: very very quick one. It was like a full blown emergency.
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  Speaker 2: They had to get the second twin out really really
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  Speaker 2: quickly because the cord had come out so straight up
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  Speaker 2: to a cesarean, which is okay, and I'm kind of
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  Speaker 2: in this field anyway, so I had a little bit
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  Speaker 2: of understanding about it.
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  Speaker 5: Wait, sorry, did you have a vaginal birth and a cesarean?
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  Speaker 2: No? Thank you?
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  Speaker 5: I like, did you have a cesarean for the second one,
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  Speaker 5: because that.
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  Speaker 2: Was the possibility, But no, so I guess in a way,
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  Speaker 2: Thank goodness, it was the top twin that the court
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  Speaker 2: had come out first, so both were just delivered by
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  Speaker 2: a caesar. And then yeah, during that caesar, they cut
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  Speaker 2: through the archery and didn't know it at the time,
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  Speaker 2: And then I went back recovery.
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  Speaker 5: That literally should have killed you.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. So yeah, over the next few hours,
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  Speaker 2: I started becoming I had, you know, lots of pain,
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  Speaker 2: and they kept saying, you know, but oh, it's only
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  Speaker 2: because you've had a Caesar the epidurals wearing off, and
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, no, this is really different. And then they
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  Speaker 2: just said basically, in the end, because I had so
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  Speaker 2: much extra fluid, it was kind of compressing the archery
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  Speaker 2: and that's why it wasn't just gushing out. So yeah,
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  Speaker 2: in the end, I went back up for a second
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  Speaker 2: surgery where they went back in closed up the archery,
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  Speaker 2: and then woke up the next morning on life support
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  Speaker 2: in intensive care. Just as they were taking the tube
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  Speaker 2: out to wake me up.
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  Speaker 5: Are you okay?
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  Speaker 2: Fine? Now? Absolutely fine?
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  Speaker 4: Now mentally fine, because I feel like you would carry
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  Speaker 4: a lot of trauma from that as well, like that
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  Speaker 4: is not what you went in for.
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  Speaker 2: Like no, I think because I'm a nurse as well,
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  Speaker 2: I look at it very pragmatically and I think in
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  Speaker 2: lots of ways it helped my nursing, So I think
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  Speaker 2: I deal with it that way. Yeah, okay, And it's
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  Speaker 2: only now that my partner and I are starting to
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  Speaker 2: think about having another child potentially that it is like, oh, Okay,
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  Speaker 2: I might actually have to deal with this a little bit.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe I do need a little bit of therapy.
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  Speaker 4: And I can't just keep saying I was fine exactly, that's.
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  Speaker 2: Right, that's right.
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  Speaker 5: Oh my goodness.
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  Speaker 4: All right, So talk to me a little bit more
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  Speaker 4: about your money story. So we know that your husband
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  Speaker 4: walked out on you and your six month old twins
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  Speaker 4: for another woman, but like you were in fifty thousand
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  Speaker 4: dollars worth of debt. So can we go back to
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  Speaker 4: that time and you talk me through like, you know,
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  Speaker 4: you felt pregnant, Did you mean to fall pregnant?
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  Speaker 5: Why were you in? What did that look like? Talk
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  Speaker 5: me through that sitch?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. So I was really young when I got married,
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: and I think I was just a little bit like
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: rose colored glasses and maybe a little bit naive. So
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  Speaker 2: at the time I thought, yeah, this is what I want,
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  Speaker 2: and I think I definitely did. But you know, the
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  Speaker 2: twins were well, the baby was planned and end up
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  Speaker 2: being twins. But you know, for kind of the years
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  Speaker 2: leading up to that, it was always like this idea
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  Speaker 2: of money being like the next shiny object, and you know,
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  Speaker 2: as soon as like it was a new car and
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: then it was constantly just like new, you new, and
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: then yeah, I don't want to say like manipulated, because
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: I think that's too strong of a word, but maybe
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  Speaker 2: not having like the money understanding really played a factor
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  Speaker 2: into like my really early money decisions.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's okay, that's good reflection as well.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think definitely, as I've gotten older, it's
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: been much more of an understanding of where my values are.
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  Speaker 2: And I think my new partner is very very much
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: in line with what my values are now. So that
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  Speaker 2: makes money conversations just so much easier.
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  Speaker 5: I adore that.
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  Speaker 4: I feel like this is really a story and we
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  Speaker 4: haven't even gotten even halfway through it, Like is a
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  Speaker 4: story of like life happens for you. Even though that
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: that was like a really terrible thing to go through, Like,
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: you're clearly happy. I can see when you said my
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: new partner, like you have that smile where I'm like,
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: oh my god, they're so in love.
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: I love this.
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  Speaker 2: So the crazy thing is when I met my partner,
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: we both were from like a major city, and then
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: we moved to a regional town. So I moved up,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: you know, many many years ago, and he moved up
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: a little bit more recently, so we met up here
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  Speaker 2: online and you know, just we're kind of getting to
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: know each other, and on about the third or fourth date,
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: we worked out that our moms worked together. No stop
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: happen and we're best friends for like twenty years. Oh
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: my goodness, that's it was big, like sixtygrees of separation.
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: But I was like, wow, not even six, just one.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly right. It was just wild. So yeah,
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: it was really meant to be.
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: I think, so obviously all of that happens.
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  Speaker 4: Talk to me about what happens to your finances when
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  Speaker 4: your husband walks out on you, because I just feel
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: like I can't imagine a situation like that because you
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: went back at work, were you?
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  Speaker 2: I had just gone back for literally that week when
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: it all happened. Yep, I went on to a night.
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: Shift, So we timed it perfectly, thanks sir.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: All right, exactly, And I think maybe looking back now,
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: it was that you know, he was going to have
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: to be there when I was at work, and then
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: how is that going to work? Because he couldn't just
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: say he was at work, is my hypothesis, and that's
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: why it probably came out when it did.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, wow, And like, did you find out anything more
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: about this?
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: Because I'm always so pervy?
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, and I know everybody else listening is going
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: to be like, girl, was he doing this the whole
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: time you were pregnant? Was it like a new romance?
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: Like did you ever find out any information?
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: No? And I guess I don't really want to know.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: They're still together?
• 12:58
  Speaker 5: So they are.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, let that go and just you know,
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: move on.
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: Do you know what they deserve each other?
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: That's fine, that's fine because you and I both know
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: they She knew about you, and she knew that you
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: had twins, and that says so much more about her
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: than it ever could about you.
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: He can keep her, that's fine, exactly.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: So I was like sure, And now I look back
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, wow, I dodged a bullet.
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: May they have the days they deserve? Yes, exactly, So
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: tell me a bit more. I want to know what
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: do you do for work? How much money do you earn?
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: So I work in healthcare and pretext I'm on about
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: one hundred and ten thousand.
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: Oh very nice.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So I made the decision to go back full
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: time for mostly financial reasons. But also for my career
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: that if I wanted to kind of progress with my career,
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: it really looked like being full time in that space
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: that it was just kind of too difficult otherwise. So
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: now I've got an amazing job and I just love it.
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: I adore that.
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: Talk to me, So you went back when you're twins
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: were six months old? Was that part time or was
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: that full time?
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: How are you managing that? Because like a lot of
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: people will say that's, oh, that's so soon to go
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: back to work, but like low key for me personally,
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: I was back at work quite early because I just
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: adore what I do and I couldn't wait.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't like a decision I guess that I
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: could make. It was because I had to take so
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: much time off pre natally.
• 14:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, that really.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Cut into my maternity leave there. So I went back
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: like earlier than I guess I would have wanted to,
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: and obviously, working for government, I was already really lucky
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: that I had, you know, extra maternity leave on top
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: of what other people get already. And I went back
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: five days a fortnite into shift work, so that was
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: really difficult, and then kind of went into this role
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: that I'm in now and then progressed up in the
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: last like eighteen months, two years to full time.
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: Oh iconic. And so tell me how old are your
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: twins now?
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: They I'm nearly four.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: Stop it, stop it, and it it goes so quickly,
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: it really does.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: They've just come into a lovely new stage and they're
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: really different little people, and it's just amazing to watch
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: their growth.
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: I adore that so much.
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: So talk to me a bit about your big money goals,
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: Like you've got a great salary as what we'll call
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: right now a single mom, Like, because you're technically a
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: single mum, you'd still be i'm assuming somewhat co parenting
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: and doing all of that shmuzzle. And you do have
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: a new partner, and we'll get to talking about him
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: in a hot second, but like, what big money goals
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: have you got at the moment, I actually think.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: I'm a little bit lost there. I don't really have
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: huge money goals, and I think that's why I'm struggling
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: to save. So you know, I'm sure we'll get into
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: it later. I think I'm really good at dividing up
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: the money and putting it where it needs to go,
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: but in terms of actually like what is my goal, Well,
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: you know, like I want to go on some holidays
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: and that kind of thing, But I don't really want
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: to buy a house. I'm in a house that I'm renting,
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: like privately off my parents, which I'm really provely to
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: be able to do that.
• 16:01
  Speaker 5: That's a different situation again.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I just don't really want to buy
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: any kind of investment property. I'm not handy in any way,
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: so if something goes wrong, I just kind of see
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: there's a money pit. So yeah, I would say holidays,
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: but again, I don't really have something solid, and I
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: think that's the issue.
• 16:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, No, that's fair.
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: And I feel like when you don't feel like you
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: have a sense of direction, there's a very big like
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: why bother kind of mindset like why would I bother
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: continuing to save because often saving feels a little bit
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: restrictive when I could just live my life and not
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: put that pressure on myself because I don't have anything
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: big that I'm currently working towards.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, Yeah, So tell me a little bit more.
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: You mentioned before, like you know, I don't have a house,
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: I'm renting off my parents.
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: I'm so pervy. I'm so sorry.
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: I just got to know when your husband was like,
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: don't come home for the next few hours because I'm
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: a moving out. Was that in the same house that
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: your parents owned, so he definitely had to leave and
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: it wasn't just a like he could leave you high
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: and dry.
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: What happened?
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Then? Yes, that was in the same house, So that
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: was really lucky in that respect, because you know, I
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: guess I was still stable. The twins never had to
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: leave a house that were familiar with either, so that
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: was really really lucky.
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you would have felt a little bit more grounded
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: during that period of time. And then financially, what did
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: you do? Did you have to take on the full
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: amount of rent and all the bills and like or
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: did you have like some I don't know. It sounds
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: like your parents are relatively well off, Like how did
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: that work? I'm just being so pervy because, like, I
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: cannot imagine the financial burden that you would have felt
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: you were under at that point in time.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it really was maybe less than a year later,
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: because I met my new partner a lot quicker than
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: I actually anticipated i'd meet anybody. And then when we
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: realized the connection that we did. Actually kind of the
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: families knew each other. I think it moved a bit
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: quicker then because it was like, oh, I can trust you.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: His rent was up in like pretty much a year
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: after we met, anyway, so he moved in.
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: But for that year we had do you know, like
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: my now husband and I moved in within twelve months
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: of mating, like and a lot of people think that
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: that's insane, and we didn't have kids or anything involved,
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: but like I remember, and this is so creepy money darist.
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: I feel like I've said it on the show before.
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: We literally talked on our first date about our wedding
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: dance song because we were kind of like, and that's
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: the weirdest, biggest red flag in the entire world, right,
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: Anybody from the outside looking and would have been like,
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: these guys crazy.
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: Sorry, it was our first right, that was just what
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: happened exactly.
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: So I feel like when you know, you know, like
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: I genuinely don't think that time is an indicator of
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: how much you love someone.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: No. I think it was really like an aha moment
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: that I was like, Oh, this is what it's meant
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: to feel yeady. Oh I genuinely.
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: It makes me so happy.
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: And I know that a lot of people in your
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: life were probably a little bit negative and probably like, oh,
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: she's moving on so quickly, shut up, Judge Karen, Like,
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: I'm just so excited that you didn't have to revel
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: in that feeling for too long and you met someone
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: who like kind of picked up your spear and made
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: you happy, and like that's exactly what you deserve, right.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, Yeah, And he really just was amazing in that way.
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: I love that, And I mean, sorry, give me a
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: better man. Like I don't even know this guy he's meeting,
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: you met online. You've got twins and he's like, yeah,
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: throw it at me.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well first date, I just laid it out on
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: the table and I was like, look, I've got baby twins,
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: and I just need you to know that because that's
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: okay if you don't want to go there. And he's like, oh,
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: that's not really an issue, Like.
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: What a legend.
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: You just know he's a good guy, So talk to
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: me about this baby goal. Because like clearly you and
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: mister you you like each other enough to move in together,
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: and you like each other enough to be talking about
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: having another baby. That makes three babies for you. Would
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: you say that's a big money goal that you two
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: are working together.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I guess, yeah, when you put it like that,
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: there is things to work on. But I'm very like
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: black and white. I guess in the way that I'm like, well,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: then what does that cost? So what am I actually saving?
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: And how much a week do I have to put
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: a way towards that? And I think that's why it
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: doesn't just click in my mind.
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's really hard, or I found it when
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: I was budgeting for a baby. It's just really hard
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: to work out, well, what do I want? And a
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: lot of the baby stuff is want, not a need.
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: And then are we going private? Are we going public?
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: And I'm assuming given your history, you would probably be
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: categorized as a higher risk pregnancy the second time around,
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: especially because you had twins and then you probably I'm
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: just extrapolating this out, you probably have to be careful
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: when you do get pregnant because there's a higher probability
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: you're going to have twins again. There's just a lot
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: to take into consideration.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, And I think that's why.
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: Sorry to scare you by the way I thought of this.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: Surprised. I think it's definitely all things that are coming
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: to the forefront of our minds now because it's kind
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: of thinking, oh, my goodness, this could happen really soon.
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: So when you say it really soon, is this a
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: goal where you're like, oh, we're going to try in
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: a year? Is this a goal where you're like, you
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: know what, if I'm pregnant right now, that would be ideal?
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: Correct? Yeah, I mean, whens happen. So we'll just say
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: how we go?
• 21:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, I love that.
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: I'm so excited and I'm like sending so much baby
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: dust your way. Let's go to a really quick break
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: because girl, I have so many questions and we'll get
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: to them in a hot minute. All right, money dives
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: We up back, And this has been a rollercoaster of
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: a story. Like the idea that your husband walked out
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: on you with six month old twins, I told you
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: that I would probably end up in jail. I would
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: love to smack him in the face.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Sorry, Oh, I think get in the line. There's been
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: quite a few people that have said that to me.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: I think you and your mom, Like, no, me and
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: your mom, We're going to line up together.
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: Like, we've just got this.
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: I just it ignites something in me because you were
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: already so vulnerable during that period of time, and I
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: just that to me, Oh, it makes me so mad.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: But I want to go back before I ask you
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: about investments, Like he said, hey girl, I'm out, And
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: he also didn't have the balls to tell you that.
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: He texts you don't come home because I'm moving out.
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: But you had fifty thousand dollars worth of debt at
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: the time. What was that for? How did you guys
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: get into that debt and then how did you get
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: out of it?
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: So it was primarily like new cars, so you know,
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: we'd buy a car and then within like a year
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: it was like, oh no, I don't like this car anymore.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: We need to upgrade. And then there was some consolidated debt,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: but it was all in the one car loan in
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: the end, like as a personal loan, I believe. And
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: then we kind of had this rolling debt that just
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: kept getting bigger and we weren't actually getting on top
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: of it. So that was with one car, and then
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: we had an old car that was costing nothing that
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: we owned out right, like a two thousand and two
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: kind of.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: Car that's still newer than my car was, and I
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: had to upgrade mine when I had a baby, but
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: like mine was from nineteen ninety seven.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: Slagh they go and when you get one of those golden.
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: Nuggets, sorry, you hold onto them. You do not let
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: them go.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: No, that's right. And it was so nice to have
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: one that didn't cost any money. So we had those
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: two cars. And then basically when as soon as he left,
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: one of the things my parents said to me first
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: was make sure you don't take on the fancy car
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: like you won. You can't afford it, and two you
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: don't need it. And I was like, absolutely, I don't
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: want that. I actually feel more comfortable driving the old
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: car anyway. So that was a decision that we made,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: and I got a lawyer involved really quickly, and that
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: was able to be drawn out really easily, to say
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: you have this car, you have this car, and that's it. Yeah.
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: And was he agreeable during this period of time because
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: like he said, hey, I'm going, but there's obviously like
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: dead and cars and assets to work out, Like how
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: did you work that out and have amicable conversations with
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: someone that didn't even see a divorce coming.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: From To be honest, we didn't really have Anakova conversations
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: about it. In the end, I ended up just saying
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: everything through my lawyer because then I knew that I
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: was back and I could take any emotion out of
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: it and that it was just being dealt with. She
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: knew my interests. She was amazing. It was just done
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: that way.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, iconic. I just I can't believe you had to
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: go through that. I'm so sorry. Talk to me about
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: investment though. What are your thoughts on investments? Do you invest?
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: What's the plan for the future?
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: So thanks to you guys, I'm using rays, which stop
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: I ever ever thought was even a thing like I'm
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: a bit like, look at me, who's this girl investing?
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: So I'm a bit like crazy, I think with it
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: because I've got my roundups and then I put one
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: hundred dollars a week into that on top of the roundups,
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: and I just watch it grow and every day I
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: checked to be like, oh it went off a bit.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: It's kind of a bit addictive.
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like I've tried to explain it, and I
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: feel like this is a very poor explanation. But I
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: feel like people get it. It's like the same feeling
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: that people get when they gamble. I get when I invest.
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, I've got to check my app. I've
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: got to check my app.
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you feel like it's a little bit it's not
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: as risky though, it's like good for your future.
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: But at the same time, I'm like, this is a game.
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: This is really fun.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like every day almost I look at the projections
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: for like the next twenty years and they don't change
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: that much, but I'm still like, oh, I can't wait.
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: Exactly. I love that view. So you've started raised, what's
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: your super looking like?
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: So I've got almost seventy thousand in super and then
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: obviously being a government worker really helps.
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: And you're only twenty eight as well, aren't you. Yes,
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: that is so good.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So we talked really briefly to a financial advisor.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: It was just on the background of like some family
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: so not a form all kind of sit down, and
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: he suggested, as soon as my hex is paid off,
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: which will hopefully be after this this financial year, at
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: the moment, we will be able to increase our super
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: new into that at our contributions. But he just suggested
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: waiting until the hex is paid off, just so it
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: doesn't alter anything at the moment.
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and girl, you're so young still, like you've got
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: heaps of time to sort that out. Like that is
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: so fine.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So that's been really exciting, and I just need
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: to consolidate two accounts because when I actually looked at
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: this to see what my super was at, I realized, I.
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: Feel like that's really intelligent to kind of wait and
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: just do one thing after another, especially because like, go,
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, you are still so young, Like you've just
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: got so much time ahead of you to do this,
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: and it just makes me so excited, and like, what
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: a better time for your husband to leave, Like if
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: you're going to do it, do it now, sir, Like,
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: just get it done, rip the band aid off. I'm
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: going to find a new, better partner, and I'm going
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: to go ahead and make another baby slay.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah. We actually spoke to the lawyer about, you know,
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: getting a portion of his super because obviously I've just
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: been on maternity leave and everything. But to be honest,
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: in the end, it was all just kind of too
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: hard and I was like, I don't even want to
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: be tired in that way. Just let it be.
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't even want your stuff. Just do you
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: know what? See yourself out mate?
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: Oh ill, But you know what Beck said about you know,
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: once it's in like an investment account, it's like not
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: your savings, but you can't touch it. Yeah, that's one
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: hundred percent. So I feel like I'm kind of using
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: that as a savings account. Not that I really want.
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: To, but no, but like it does feel like it's
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: like that additional degree of separation that I feel like
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: you need, Like you know when people are like, oh,
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: I always dip into my bank account, Like I find
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: that those people do really well with investment accounts because like,
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: once it's quote gone into that account, they're like, oh,
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: it's too much admin to get it back out, and
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: it's not really mine anymore, and it's kind of performing,
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: and I wouldn't want it to stop performing.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I hate seeing the little dipped out on
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: the graph, so yeah, it'll ruin your graph, that's right.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: So simple things like that, I'd like, I can't touch it.
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: So I had RAIS and I still have RAIS because
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: I just do like little roundups here and there. And
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: as you guys know, I don't know if you know
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: this but I'm obsessed with finance. So I have rais,
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: I have Spaceship, have Charez's and I once sold down
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: my raise portfolio because it got quite high, but it's
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: not my main investment account, and I'm like, okay, it's
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: like kind of high. I'm going to like sell this
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: down and put it into my Shaza's account. I sold
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: it down, and I still look at the graph and
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: I like see the really big dip of when I
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: sold down.
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: And now it's.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: Messed with my performance because it says, you know, you've
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: cashed out here, And I'm like, no, stop judging me.
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: I reinvested it. I promised, Like I wish there was
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: like a bigger app that like showed me my overarching.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: They could look at everything.
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm like, no, I promise.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: I promised.
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: My returns are better than that. I actually put it
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: into something else. Anyway, talk to me about debts. So
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: you got out of this debt by essentially leaving it
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: with your husband. He got the car, he organized all
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: of that. Do you have any other debts?
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, so we do have a credit card that we're
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: paying off, but I've transferred it last year to an
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: interest free period one so we're paying more off that
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: than we need to, and we'll pay that off by
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: the end of next year. So that has fourteen thousand
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: purely from one making some not great financial decisions thinking
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: in my mind, I'm still in a full time wage
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: but I wasn't, but also thinking like using it for points,
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: but then like stupidly not factoring in like the interest
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: and things. So that credit card's gone and we are
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: using just the other one to pay it off, and
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: we don't even have a card for that, which has
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: been really helpful.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: You've got to be so careful when you like sign
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: up for things for points. It can be really great,
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: but we really need to make sure that every single
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: month you go in and you pay off that balance
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: in full, because it cannot end up really quickly.
• 29:39
  Speaker 5: And I can alrest guarantee.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: When you got that credit card, you didn't want to
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: get in fourteen thousand dollars worth of debt.
• 29:45
  Speaker 5: Did you?
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: No? Not at all?
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: Like it was always just like, oh, this will be
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: a helpful tool, and then all of a sudden you
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: haven't used it correctly and you're like, oh, this is
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: going to take us a year and a half to
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: get out of.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I had the direct debit set up, thought,
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: you know, it's paying it off. But then I guess
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: yet looking back now, I don't know why I wasn't
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: looking at the time, but you know, in my mind
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: it was being paid off. And then when I opened
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: the up one day, I was like, oh my goodness,
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: like literally none of it was paid off. It was
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: all in interest.
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it happens, honestly to the best of us. But
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: that's why we have to always talk about this stuff
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: and always like be on top of it, because I'm
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: glad it didn't spiral even more out of control for you.
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: Now I've picked up on some language that I want
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: to dive into. You said we, You said us. Are
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: you sharing finances with your new partner?
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Yes? We are.
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: Now talk to me. How did that happen? What did
• 30:35
  Speaker 5: that look like?
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: So it happened a little while after moving in, because
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: it ended up just becoming you know, like, oh, do
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: you want me to pay for groceries? Or should I
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: pay for the electricity bill? And then in the end
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: it was actually his suggestion that it was like, well,
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: you know, why don't I just contribute to this? But
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: you know, obviously I had twins that I had to
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: support as well, and he was like, I'm living here
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: and if I didn't want to take them on, then
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't have moved in.
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, I love him for you.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So we ended up joining our finances, which just
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: made it so much easier because now I take full
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: control of it. He can see everything and access everything.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: But he doesn't want to know. He doesn't really care.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: It's just you deal with it because you're organized.
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: Stop it this man.
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: I am just so happy for you girl, like you
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: deserve all of this and more so on average.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: What is your new partner earning?
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: Pretty much exactly the same?
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, so it's like fifty to fifty. And then
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: I was about to say, how are you splitting costs
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: for your kids?
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: Like what does that look like?
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: Is he literally like no, sorry, like you guys are
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: a packaged deal, Like how is he dealing with this?
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Exactly, yeap, So we just have everything. Yeah, fifty
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: to fifty and it seems to be working out. I think,
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: you know, I kind of say to him, maybe every
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: few months, you know, are you sure you want to
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: keep doing this? Like your paid for you know, childcare
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: fees and everything, and he's like, yeah, of course I do.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: Why wouldn't I?
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, this man.
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: You know what, every single mum deserves one of these
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: guys to go rock on into their lives.
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: So does your ex husband.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: In any way support your children, like financially, Like what
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: does that custody split look like?
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: So he has them two nights a fortnight. He pays
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: like the government child support. Recently that dropped to zero
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: a month because he said that he'd lost his job.
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, sure he did, which.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: I don't think so, but anyway, and then now he
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: pays me one hundred and twenty dollars a month. That's
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: his child support, and that is it.
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: So he's paying sixty dollars per child a month a
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: month and he probably thinks that's so much money to
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: give you.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I've said a few times, you know, can
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: you contribute to daycare cost? Can you contribute to swimming lessons? Anything?
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: You know that it's not deemed you know, ulter and
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: food and water basically, and it's just that you know,
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: this is why I pay child support.
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: Wow, that's nice for him. And he just has them
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: like one weekend a fortnight.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, and that's it.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: They usually just like consecutive days, so it's like two
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: days and then they're back with you.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: Yep, that's right.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: He probably always wants it on the weekend though, because
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: that's the most convenient for him as well, isn't it.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, he actually asked can he have them through
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: the week because then you know he's child support. He
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: wanted them pretty much every daycare day and I said, oh, okay,
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: you could, but does that mean you'll be paying day
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: care fees? And he said no, I can't afford.
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: That, sorry, So I would pay for the care on
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: the day that you're meant to be caring for them.
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: I don't think so.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then your care percentage will go up that
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: much that I'd actually be paying you as well. So
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: it's just very sneaky, I.
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: Don't think so.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: Do you know what, girl, It sounds like you have
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: dropped some serious dead weight and like you might not
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: have seen it at the time, but I don't know
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: who in the universe was looking out for you. They
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: were like, girl, we need to dodge a bullet. This
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: is going to be really painful. It's going to be
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: the worst period of you're in entire high life. But
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: I promise everything gets better from here.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And because it got better so quickly after as well,
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: I think, like my like I saw the sudden, it
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: was just crazy, this feeling that I was like, oh, yes,
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: somebody was watching out for me.
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, Oh my goodness.
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: I'm so glad. But also like, no one deserves to
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: go through that. So I'm like upset you had to
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: go through it. But at the same time, I'm like,
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: this guy needs to get in the bin. Talk to me, though,
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: what do you think your best money habit is, Because
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: earlier in the episode you said I'm really good at
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: like segmenting things and putting them in the right accounts.
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: Is that your best money habit?
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: I would say so. So I've got up bank, and
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: I've got like eight buckets in my up bank.
• 34:40
  Speaker 5: Okay, jessic Ricci, I love it.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: I hear Jess talk and I'm like, oh, yeah, that's me.
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: She's got like eighteen at the moment. It's actually insane.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: So I have like an emergency fund that I just put,
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: you know, directed it into each week, and then I've
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: calculated like the yearly car expenses, so all of that
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: money goes in and we never have to dip in.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: But I only actually started that after she's on the
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: money because I was just like, I'm never getting back
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: into credit card debt, and this is how it's going
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: to be. So sometimes my partner will be like, why
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: do we have so much money leaving the account on
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: our payday? Like, can't you just stop that direct debit?
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: I'm like, no, no, it's not like we don't lose
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: the money.
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: It's actually organized and planned, and the reason it leaves
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: that account is.
• 35:25
  Speaker 5: So that it doesn't leave the rest of our accounts.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, like I pay extra on the
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: electricity bill each week as a direct debit, so then
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: it's like a little bit of a surprise. If we're
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: going away, then I've got credit of like five hundred
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: dollars and I just pull that and it's like, oh,
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: that's a nice little tree.
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so smart. And I feel like, you know,
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: if you're putting extra, especially into your electricity bill when
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: you can afford it, then winter comes and that like
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: electricity bill that has escalated because you left the heater
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: on a few times longer than you should have, doesn't
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: sting nearly as much.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: Like no, exactly. Yeah, it just feels nice.
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: To have it. It's like smart planning. I think I've
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: said this on the podcast before, but probably years ago.
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: My mum always used to tell me, like when I
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: was going on a holiday, she could be like, go
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: and buy yourself a gift card and like make it
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: like one hundred dollars that you can spend at like
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: seven to eleven when you get home on fuel, so
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: that you don't come home and have no money and
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: can't afford fuel for your car, and genius. Like it
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: just feels like a little treat. When you get home,
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: you're like, oh, I planned for this.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: I love that. That's amazing.
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because like you don't want to come home and
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: then you're like, oh my god, I have to put
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: like one hundred dollars worth of fuel into my car.
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: This is crazy. I got of water right back into life.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it just feels like a little treat.
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: And because you spent it, and this is delusion again
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: at its peak, because you spent it before you left
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: on holiday, it feels like it was free money.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: Absolutely right. It wasn't really mind anyway. Yeah.
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: It's like when I pack away my winter coats, if
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: I have like a spare ten dollars. I always like
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: stuff it in one of the pockets because I know,
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: like future me will love that.
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so dumb.
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: And do you know what, every single time I forget,
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: I've done it. Like I am the queen of deluding myself.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: You do it every year. But it's still amazing really too.
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: I literally I pulled out a coat the other day
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: and I was like ten bucks.
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: And my husband was like, you did that to yourself,
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: and I was like, let me have this.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: I think like another good money habit that I have
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: is like I love a haggle, so I love to
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: get the best price. If I could haggle with coals,
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: I absolutely would. So a few weeks ago, I had
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: a broke tip that was on the podcast from Haggling.
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: Oh did you Yeah? It must have been really good.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So I was like, oh, I just felt like
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: such a win. And I will just never try and
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: pay full price, especially big ticket items, if I can
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: help it.
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: Why not.
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: Everything's negotiable if you don't try and negotiate it, it's
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: not negotiable.
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: Is that That's exactly right?
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: They can only say no.
• 37:47
  Speaker 5: And then what you say, thanks so much? For considering it,
• 37:50
  Speaker 5: no worries.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'll just pay anyway because I have to
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: buy this so.
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: I need the item.
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was worth a crack. So tell me, what
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: do you think your worst money? How it is?
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: So I think the incidental spending. I know that I
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: need to print out in my bank statement and highlight it.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: And I've read the book, I've listened to the podcast
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: and every time I'm like, yep, I need to do that.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: But that's really I think the way the money's going.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: So I'll try and be organized and you know, do
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: a meal plan for the whole week and then buy
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: one set of groceries. But then you know, the milks
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: run out midweek, so then I go and it's like,
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: oh maybe we should get some garlic bread, and then
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: before you know it, it's fifty dollars.
• 38:29
  Speaker 5: How does that happen?
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: Though?
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: Like genuinely, I popped past the supermarket last night and
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: this is like this is niche mum content. I picked
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: my son up from daycare. It was like right on
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: six o'clock, which is like witching hour for us. Like
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: if I don't feed my son once we get back
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: from daycare, all hell is going to break loose, right,
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: But I knew I had to go to the supermarket,
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: so I like get him. Annoyingly, he'd fallen asleep in
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: his bloody car seat, so I'm like, oh, I'll get
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: the carrier out because he's going to be a pain.
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: So I get the carrier out. So I'm carrying this
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: baby around. I'm thinking in my head, this is good
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: because I have to go straight in, get what I
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: need and leave.
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: Still somehow fifty dollars.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: What how does it happen?
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: How does it happen? Like?
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: I only got like a few basics and things that
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: I needed literally not even.
• 39:16
  Speaker 5: For me, Like I needed soap, I needed new.
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: Bread, baby yogurts because we were out of those, and
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: by the time I'd done baby yogurts, and also formula
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: because my son still has like a couple of bottles
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: a day.
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: Bam, it's just so much.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: And you try and stuck up on the formula when
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: it's on sale and things, but you just still seem
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: to run out.
• 39:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it goes so quickly.
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: You mentioned before, like your incidental spending and how you
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: haven't like printed out your bank statements yet. What do
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: you think your number one incidental spend. Is is it
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: like just the supermarket top ups or is it like
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: something else.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: I think the supermarket's definitely a big one, but probably
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: Camart as well.
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: What are we buying Camart? Because like, I'm really good
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: at Camart?
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: Do you know what? And that's so funny because I
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: can't even tell you, like one hundred percent on what
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: it is. But you know, I love, you know, just
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: getting a little treat and then I might see a
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: really cute out of it for the twins, so then
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I should probably get that too, But
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: then you've got two, so double that.
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: Ahh yeah, no, that would add up so quickly. I
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: feel like you're relatively savvy when it comes to money,
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: though I know you said, look, i've got credit card
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: debt and we're working that out, yollow, But it sounds
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: like you've got your upbank, you've got all your savers,
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: you've got an emergency fund, you're investing, you're on raise,
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: you've got seventy grand in super like gol. Sorry I
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: don't know how to remind you of this, but you're
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: raising literal twins. You're doing so well. Like we spoke
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: about everything that you've been through. But then also like
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: you earn one hundred and ten grand plus super and
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: you're back at full time work. You've got these four
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: year old beautiful twins, and somehow you're like making all
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: of this work. But you think you're a c Like
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: I know that the supermarket can get away from some us,
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: but like someone who has an emergency fund and all
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: of their upsavers and looks at their bank account on
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: payday is not.
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: A sea girlfriend.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: I think I just look at the wage that we're
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: on and it's like, we should just be doing so
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: much better than this, but.
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: We're in the middle of a cost of living crisis
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: as well. Like I just I want to shake everybody
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: because I think that you know, people will be like, oh, yeah,
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: we're on such a good income, and please do not
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: take this the wrong way. If you're listening to this,
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: not even money direst but like one hundred and ten
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: thousand dollars for some people, if you earn fifty thousand dollars,
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: you go, oh my god, the financial freedom that that
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: would afford after tax, after you've paid your super, after
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: you've paid back your hex. That amount of money so
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: easily dissipates, especially when you have kids, especially when you
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: are trying to just like live your life and you're not,
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: you know, meal planning to a t I promise for
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: a lot of people in that position, money just disappears,
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: like and it's not because you're irresponsible, it's just because
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: things are a lot tighter than they used to be,
• 42:04
  Speaker 4: and that one hundred dollars grocery shop now costs you
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: two hundred and fifty, and like, those are the things
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: that we don't give ourselves enough grace for. Those are
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: the things that we don't go. Oh, that makes sense
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: as to why I can't save what I want to do,
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: Like that makes sense as to why I can't pay
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: this credit card off any faster. Like, but you're still
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: putting the hard yards on yourself. You're like, oh yeah,
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: I'm still sie stop hurt.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: Maybe we'll go a C plus, but I think until
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: I paid the credit card off, then I definitely can't
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: get to a B.
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: All right, all right, I'll allow it.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: I'll allow it.
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: Call me when you get the credit card paid off,
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: and we'll bump you up to a B plus and
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: and maybe an A money dost.
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: It has been a pleasure. Thank you so much.
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: For sharing your story and being so bright and bubbly
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: about all of it, Like this could have been like a, yeah,
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: this ruined my life story, but you're like, so this happened,
• 42:54
  Speaker 4: but like my life is a million times better, Like oh,
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: I just I can't wait for this episode to come
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: out because I have two girlfriends who are currently going
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: through a divorce that I cannot wait to send this
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: episode too, to be like, see it can be better.
• 43:08
  Speaker 5: We've gotten rid of the dead weight.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Absolutely, And that's exactly why I wanted
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: to do this, because I've never talked about my money really,
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: but I was like, if this will show somebody to
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: just do.
• 43:19
  Speaker 5: It, I promise it will.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: I hope it does.
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, I know it will. Thank you so much.
• 43:23
  Speaker 4: It has been such a pleasure getting to know you,
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: and I just know that the community is going to
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: love hearing from you as much as I have.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: Did buy shared on She's on the Money is generally
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not
• 43:47
  Speaker 4: be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
• 43:51
  Speaker 4: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
• 43:57
  Speaker 4: your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: authorized representatives of Money sherper P T y L t
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  Speaker 4: D A b N three two one six four nine
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  Speaker 4: two seven seven zero eight a
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  Speaker 5: F s L four five one two eight nine