Latest / The Kink Consultant / Why Obsession Happens and Why Fighting It Makes It Worse with Kirsten Aut

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Why Obsession Happens and Why Fighting It Makes It Worse with Kirsten Aut · The Kink Consultant

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It's a King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
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on all things kink and dating, relationships and pop culture.
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So close the door, plug in your headphones, and let's get down
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to it. Hey everyone, today's episode is
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a really personal one for me because we're talking about
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obsession. And as much as I hate to admit
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this, I'm someone who sometimes, I guess, struggles with
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obsession. And just this year, there was a
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point where I felt completely hijacked by my thoughts about
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someone I had barely even dated. I knew better.
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I teach emotional intelligence in relationships for a living,
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and I still got myself stuck. Luckily, I was able to find
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Kristen, an Obsession coach who specializes in helping people
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untangle deep emotional attachment without shame,
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bypassing or forcing themselves to move on.
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And I don't say this lightly. Working with Kristen genuinely
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changed my life. In this episode, we talk about
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how I found her, what I was moving through at the time, and
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how Kristen's approach to Obsession helped me understand
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what my attachment was actually trying to teach me.
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Instead of judging it or trying to get rid of it, she helped me
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move through it. I am so excited to share today's
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episode with you. Hello and welcome to this week's
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episode of The King Consultant. I am genuinely ecstatic and have
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been waiting for this interview for weeks.
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Welcome Kristen OTT. Kristen is a coach who helps
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people get over obsession and I employed the services of her
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company New Badass You. And I am truly obsessed with the
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results and how she does her work.
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And as soon as I finished coaching, I was like, I need you
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on the podcast. So welcome, Kristen.
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Hi, I'm very excited to be. Thank you for having me.
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Yeah, of course. I mean, thank you for being drug
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onto this podcast. Twist my arm.
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Yeah, I was excited. I enjoyed working with you as
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well. One of my more favorite clients.
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And I don't want to say it happens, but like as a fellow
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coach, there are just some people who find you and the vibe
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is the same and that's just how life is.
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And I try and work with more people.
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I work with people whose vibe is the same like.
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Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
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OK, I want to explain to everyone how I ended up hiring
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you because you got into my brain in a way no creator ever
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has before. And it wasn't in a click bait or
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a rage bait way. It was so matter of fact, you
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had a video on Instagram. It basically said if you're the
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type of person who gets obsessed with someone, society's telling
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you to just get over it, power through it to XYZ, to not think
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about them. I'm telling you to basically
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think about them and lean in, right?
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It was something like, whatever that was, I was immediately
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like, disgusted with myself. With you.
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It was visceral. OK, you're in love.
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I want. To.
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Explain this to you. I fucking hate this chick.
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I'm going to message her I. Thought I was like, how dare she
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get on here and tell everyone that it's OK to feel obsessed.
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I'm like, it's not OK. They need to be going to the
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gym. They need to think about
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anything else, go make themselves successful instead of
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spending time thinking about this person.
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And then I proceeded to spend the next 24 hours thinking only
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about you. I literally.
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Why you're so obsessed with me? I literally.
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Missed an exit on the highway because I was like, well, how
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could she be right? This is like dangerous advice.
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So what did I do? I looked at your website.
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I looked into it a little bit more and I was like, OK, maybe
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there's something here, but I still don't believe it.
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So I was like, maybe I should hire as a coach.
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But before I did that, I messaged you.
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And what did my message say? Your message was basically like,
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hey, I'm paraphrasing here. It was better language than
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this, but I was like, hey, I don't really believe anything
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you're saying, but I'm really curious about it.
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Like, I'm so skeptical of your message, but the traditional
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advice isn't working for me. Like, I've tried to go to the
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gym. I think that's what you said.
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I've tried to go to the gym. I've tried to just turn it off.
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I've tried to shut it down, but it's not working.
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And like, so I'm curious about what you're saying.
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I was like, yeah, but it's not working because you can't fight
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against your nervous system. I mean, manifestation and all
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the shit I teach really comes to a psychological backing of like,
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you cannot fight your pattern in your programming because it's a
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motherfucking superpower and it will win every time.
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So that was my pattern. My pattern was like, I would
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fall so head over heels so quickly for somebody.
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I would make them the source of my happiness.
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Subconsciously, I didn't know that's what I'm doing.
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But then I would be so hooked on them and I had such trouble
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letting go, but I would force myself into like this pouch of
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like, just get the over it, Kristen, let it go.
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Get over. They're not your person.
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They're not. If they wanted to, they would,
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you know, you're just attached to potential.
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You got hooked on an idea. This is fantasy, not reality.
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It was so much shame that comes with the traditional like let it
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go. Why aren't you moved on already?
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The shame, the shame from other people or just the embarrassment
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of knowing you're not supposed to do this or feel this way.
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And then for me, it was the embarrassment of deep down, I've
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never said it out loud, but deep down being like, well, it's
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because I wasn't worth enough to them.
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Like I wasn't worthy. They're going.
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To just prove, let me send one more text message.
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If I could just show them how great I am, then they would see
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what I see and the potential would be real.
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Yeah, For me it was I could make more money and be thinner.
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Like people on the podcast know that I have.
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I've had body image issues, but it was just like, if I could
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have those two things, no one would turn me down.
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And it was. Yeah, and what else comes with
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that is like, even if it's not, they would pick me.
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It's this ego driven, like I'm gonna be better and do better
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and look better and then they're gonna see what it what they
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fucking missed out on. Yes.
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I mean, these are like real things that people do that
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society says what is wrong with you?
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But everybody does them to some extent.
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But not every single person gets obsessed, I don't think, and not
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at the level at least that I would say I get to.
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I'm with you, I feel like a crazy person more days than not.
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Like there are still times when I'm like, I have a friend who I
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hooked up with and like he's always had such a piece of my
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soul I hooked up with in 20 19/20/20.
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This is so morbid. He died this year and I still
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am. Like we're going to get married
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one day. I'm like Kristen, you can maybe
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in the next lifetime. But like he held such a special
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place in my heart. But like, these people come
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along and they let them. Yeah.
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Let them hold a special place in your heart.
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But for me, it was like, I want to learn to manage this in a
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more healthy way. And so I'm trying to be somebody
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that I'm not. Let me manage who I am in a
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healthy your way. That's my goal with everybody.
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That was like the whole that was eye opening.
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And it's funny when you say that the thing that got me.
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And I think it's good that your message had such an impact on me
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because it allowed me to like go through the transformative cycle
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of like you totally opposed how I had truly been living my life,
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like trying to get past these obsessions.
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But once I learned your ways, everything melt.
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Like the tension, the obsession melted away and it changed every
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part of my life. And that is not like truly every
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part of my life. The way I worked, the way I
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dated, all of it. And that's because you stopped
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resisting who you are. And we don't realize how much
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exhaustion comes from resisting. I can't be thinking about this.
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I can't be feeling this way. I'm so stupid.
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What's wrong with me? Like you can't be creative and
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in a flow state and create what you want in your life, AKA
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manifest what you want in your life when you're like, I fucking
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hate you. I am, yeah.
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That's. It doesn't work.
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Yes, where you want to go by being like, I freaking hate
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where I am. Like get me the hell out of this
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place. How did you come to that
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realization though? Like what transformed you?
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Because obviously you've been where I was of like, oh, I just
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need to do all of these things and stop obsessing.
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Like what was your journey? It's such a good question.
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There's been so many things. The last two really got me.
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The last two men that I have dated AKA hung out with, AKA
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slept with. I also had a spiritual awakening
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in 2021. I was going through that first
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guy that I The last two guys, it was the first one I was going
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through a breakup with him. We had been friends for four
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months. We crossed the line one night
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after a couple of drinks and we started dating, but it was just
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we were coming from the same wounds in the same place and the
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same like disorganized attachment style is pushed full
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of like I want you. And now I look at it
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differently. Back then I was like, he just
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doesn't care about me. Like he just wants to with me
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and like he wants to like have sex with me and then tell me he
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doesn't want to be with me. Now I see it as the same way
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that I felt It's just love is so scary for a nervous system
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that's been through hell and back as a child.
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So I had a spiritual awakening at a festival.
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I was on Molly and like, I can't explain to you what happened.
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That gets weird for me to actually try to verbalize
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because I'm like, if I was listening to me I'd be like
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okay, spiritual wagoning, like yeah okay, ego death, okay.
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But literally, I mean, that was over 4 years ago and it was a
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three to five minute block of my time that changed the entire
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trajectory of my life. That kind of floated up out of
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my body and was like, hey, what are you doing?
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It was like all of a sudden all of my anger and like negative
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energy dissipated and I was like pure love in those moments.
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So odd, so weird, so spiritual. But like, the only thing that I
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can say is like how impactful it was, is that literally it was a
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pivotal like 180 in my journey from there I found manifestation
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and I was like, wait, I found specific person manifestation,
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which is like, if you think about somebody specific, you can
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like make them pick you more or less.
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It's I was like, wait a minute, hold on, wait, how do we do
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this? So I started to dive into it and
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realized, and I have a psychology background too.
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I have ABA in psychology. So I've always loved like how
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the mind works, like understanding how we think and
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what this all means. But then I found manifestation
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and I was like, oh, so you can just create whatever you want.
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But so many teachings of manifestation, because they
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focus on specific things in the 3D World, keep you more stuck in
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attachment. So you have manifestation
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teachings, which are like, if you desire it, it's meant to be
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yours. And then you have psychology
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teachings that are like, if it's not showing up the right way,
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get the over it. Yeah.
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And I'm like, neither of these things feel good at all.
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Like the manifestation teachings really, really exacerbate
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obsessive thoughts and attachment.
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And that's what I found every time I would go the psychology
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route of just get the fuck over it.
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Here's what I realized. The dream bubble life that we
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want to create, right? That energy that we want to
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create when we think about that imagination and that amazing
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relationship that we want to be in with whatever features are in
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that for you or me. Like I just picture it and I'm
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like, this is bliss. This is what I want to create.
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Then somebody would come along in my 3D World and I'm like,
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well, I desire them to be part of the fantasy.
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And when they wouldn't show up right or they wouldn't pick me
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or choose me or decide they didn't want to love me and I
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would get the fuck over it. I realized I wasn't just getting
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over them. I was actually trying to erase
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that entire fantasy from my psyche, which means I was
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actually running from a version of me that I wanted to become.
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12:01
And what I come to realize is this person that I'm obsessing
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over has reflected back and somehow I consider this like the
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spiritual world where it's like soul to soul connection.
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Somebody comes in and reflects this amazing vision to me of who
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I want to become. The ultimate wife, the ultimate
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mom, the ultimate businesswoman, the career woman, the girl goes
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to the gym. Like you feel that higher self
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come out of you When you meet these people, you're like, yes,
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motivated. Holy fuck, when I would erase it
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and get over it, that's what I was letting go of.
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And I realized, hold on, I'm actually attached to the wrong
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person in the vision. Like I've put all of my, the
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weight of my happiness on this other human being that I, let's
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be honest, ladies, we barely fucking know him when we first
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meet him, when we fall head over heels, like we don't know if
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he's actually a good dude, but they've reflected back to us
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this amazing vision and we get attached to everything else in
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the vision except that higher version of us.
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And that's where obsession comes in.
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Obsession is the deficit between you, you and your ability to
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create this version of you. You think the other person is
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responsible for creating that version of you, but in reality
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they've just given you full fucking access to everything you
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want to be. Now the hard part, the work is
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where we got to create her, because she's the one who gets
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to live in the reality, not him. OK, all of this, it's like
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you're holding a mirror up to me.
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But yeah, that's where the work starts.
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And it's sort of like, why is it so hard to keep showing up as
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your higher self as soon as that person disappears?
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Honestly, because we've taken our happiness, our brain has
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taken our happiness out of us, wedged it in this other person
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and goes, well, you left. So there goes my happiness,
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there goes everything I could be because you're not part of my
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life anymore and like. Yeah, I know.
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It's just, it's so painful to hear the truth.
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Like it sucks because it's we want it to be easy.
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We want somebody to show up and give us our happiness.
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And now like, oh, I found it outside of me.
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Thank you for bringing me my happiness.
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The shitty thing about life is we could find somebody who does
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that and they could get hit by a bus tomorrow, you know?
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So it's like no matter what, you've got to learn to recognize
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and really sink into the idea that yes, people can enhance.
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There's so many people in this world that it can enhance all
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this happiness and all this good feeling.
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But the second we forget that it all exists within us to begin
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with is the second that we we outsource it.
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We lose our power, we shrink, then we start to live in fear.
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Because if that goes away, so does my happiness and I'll never
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find it again. If I say that I know I'm in the
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wrong situation, I have like a tell in my life.
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Or if I think this is the best person I'm ever going to find, I
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immediately know I'm in a bad situation because it means
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unnaturally I'm like obsessively attached myself to someone.
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And that is something I noticed when dating people.
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If I think this is the best I'm ever going to find, I'm like, I
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use this word a lot. Like I have a scary mindset
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about them. And then I have to question, do
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I actually like them or not? I'm seeing someone now.
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It is not the case at all. It's just like, I live in more
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of a reality, which actually is a perfect segue of the reality
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you brought me into. I mean, all of this, like, the
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crazy thing to me is as you describe it, every single piece
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of it makes sense, not because I lived it, not because I hired
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you as a coach, but literally because I'm like, yeah, that is
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exactly what happens. It's painful to hear it though,
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you know? And it's only.
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It's hard to hear. Yes.
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Well, and this is this is where I also like I bring the
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teachings of manifestation. And because it's especially for
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those of us who do have attachment issues, we want to
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move to a more healthy attachment, right?
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Which doesn't mean we don't get attached.
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It just means we know how to manage detachment better.
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But when I used to like force myself to get over, to force
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myself to let go, what I always felt like was you have to close
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this door, you have to lock it, you have to burn the
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motherfucker down because this person sucks.
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And these are the messages. I mean, I'm paraphrasing, but
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like every single message that I, not every single, but like a
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lot of messages that I will scroll through on my phone just
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constantly say if they aren't, then you have to let them go.
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It's not about them. Like I have learned this is a
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door. Right now.
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This door is not a viable option for me.
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I'm just gonna like, I'm going to not focus on it.
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I'm going to learn to take my focus off this door because if
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that door is meant to open, it will.
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And if I desire it to be a possibility, it still is a
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possibility. Now I'm in this place where
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like, I don't have to slam doors shut and burn doors down because
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I know my worth. And like, even if that person
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doesn't ever walk through that door again, I'm going to leave
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that open so they can watch me fucking thrive.
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Yeah, that's a good way to live your life.
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I wish I had met you years ago, because I know.
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I wish I had met me years ago. Believe me, I just made myself a
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lot of fucking pain. Yeah.
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And it's really funny, the cycle that you can go through.
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I mean, literally, I wish I'd met you at 21.
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That's how long ago I wish I'd met.
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You know, but you know what, though?
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Even if I met me at 21, we didn't have the capacity to
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understand what we're talking about right now.
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And we would have been like, OK, that's Benj, man.
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I'm gonna go have sex with that guy over there because he's hot.
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You're right, there is a certain level of like.
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Then that space open to like, understand and allow it in.
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For me, who had boundary issues and like maybe lacked a little
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bit of self respect in favor of getting the attention that I
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wanted, I would not have listened.
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You're right. I would have been like, but no,
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there was also a little bit of naivete and being a child, like
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being like in my early 20s and thinking, no, yeah, this is
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going to be different. I don't know.
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There's like. AI mean I still well up until
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but like the last one I was like oh this is different, this is
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going to be different. It's different.
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I did 0 exactly 0 things differently and expected a
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different result exactly. Zero things different.
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It's just that that's a pattern that a lot of us have is like,
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we get really fucking excited about somebody and then it's
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like, this is different. I can feel it.
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I can make intuitions as it's different.
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And then we sleep with him right away.
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I mean, this is my pattern. Yeah, you pick your pattern.
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But like I get really excited, sleep with him right away
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knowing I get fully well attached after I have sex with
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somebody, especially if that sex is good.
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And then I'm like freaking out because like he didn't text me
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for three hours. I'm like, this is it the shoes
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dropping? And this always happens to me.
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It's falling apart like that energy that it's repulsive to
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people to just that desperate, needy, like please pick me
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energy. OK but I would not text I was
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like they will never I'm a wall I'm like they will never know I
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care but inside I'm dying. Do you know what I mean?
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Cuz I'm not even. Yes, I remember.
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Yeah. This is where we differ because
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I'm like, no, I won't even. And you just you helped bring
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down that wall because you're like, well, if you haven't
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communicated this, maybe that should be the first step of
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like, hey, these are my expectations.
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And then if they don't meet you, that's like an open conversation
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where a decision has been made as opposed to living in my head
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with it. I think this is a really common
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thing, Kristin, like both of our ways, but also the obsession.
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But I also think for people who don't have this experience, it
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can also, I do think. Men and women are different and
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like I actually recently opened up my coaching to men as well
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because I was strictly women. But I figured I've gotten enough
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comments from men like really genuinely thanking me for like
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my content. And they always say like, I know
19:48
your contents for women, but it's really helping me or
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whatever they've said. So I was like, I got to change
19:53
that because like my Instagram content is not just for women.
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Like my coaching was I my Instagram content is for like if
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you're stuck on something, which I think men get stuck on stuff
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too. I think we are taught.
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To project it differently, and I might be wrong.
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I don't know the science on this, but the more research I
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do, men have such a hard time in society.
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There's a statistic like one in seven men don't have one close
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friend. This is why the suicide rates
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and men are higher because they're taught to keep shit in.
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Yeah, they're taught to be more stoic.
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They're taught not to have emotions.
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So I don't know if they don't actually get obsessed or they
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just compartmentalize it better. Oh, that's a good question.
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Maybe they're getting it like none of the men.
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Of all the men I've told about, I think one knew I was obsessed.
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None of the others do, I think the others feel.
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Wild. I think all of mine did.
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No, I think that mine thought I didn't even like them that much
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like I because I was so like, oh, they're not so.
20:50
Funny what our wounds will do to us.
20:52
Yeah, the patterns they create where it's just like, I mean, in
20:56
either case, and I don't know if mine knew that I was like
20:58
obsessed with them, but some of them may have just.
21:01
I'm not the girl to like text all the time, but I'm very just
21:03
like, here's how I feel in a text.
21:06
Yeah, wait, what were you saying?
21:07
Oh, the weird ways though. Either way though, with
21:10
emotionally dumping or emotionally like reserved, it's
21:14
self sabotage. The effect is the same, I think,
21:17
because you're still thinking about it all the time.
21:19
So it doesn't. Although I do think the few
21:21
times that I've like sent the text saying exactly how I feel,
21:25
there's like an hour where it's like cathartic release and it
21:27
feels good. But then.
21:29
Than the fear. Yeah, it's not worth it or it
21:31
wasn't worth it for me now. Now I'm in a very open
21:34
commutative relationship. I literally finished my sessions
21:38
with you. And I want to like, be like, oh,
21:40
she's a miracle worker. You were a miracle worker for
21:42
me, right? And I won't deny that.
21:44
Literally, we finished our session package and it changed a
21:48
lot. And then I met someone and I was
21:50
allowed to go into that with very real expectations.
21:54
And just, I don't even know how to really verbalize this in what
21:57
you did, but you made me face reality in a way that wasn't
22:00
scary. I.
22:00
Love that. Hey, I have a secret I'm finally
22:04
ready to talk about. I've never really been a vibes
22:07
girl. I know.
22:09
Shocking coming from the King Consultant, but that's changing.
22:12
I'm teaming up with my friends at Babe Land for an 8 week self
22:15
pleasure journey. Every Friday I'm trying a new
22:18
toy and sharing what I learned about my body, my pleasure, and
22:21
what actually feels good. If you want to follow along,
22:24
check out my Friday Vibe series on Instagram and Sub Stack.
22:27
And while you're here, check the show notes for my most recent
22:30
review. Keep on kinking on.
22:33
Yeah, it was sort of like, OK, here's what's happening.
22:35
Working with you encouraged me cleaning up my retirement
22:38
accounts and realizing like, I am my own person.
22:41
There's no one who's coming to save me.
22:42
And I knew that. I always joked that my memoir is
22:44
going to be called No One's Coming to Save you.
22:47
Every time I learned that lesson, good things happen.
22:49
Like literally every time. I'm like, Amanda, figure it out.
22:53
No one's coming to save you. The best few months of my life
22:56
happened because I'm like, I'm on my game.
22:58
And you just made that happen. And I'm going to explain
23:01
something very specific to the kink community that Kristen, I'm
23:04
not sure you understood how impactful it was when you said
23:07
this, but it just blew my mind. I talked to you about how I'm
23:11
submissive and looking for a dominant and like how that's
23:15
really difficult. And I don't even remember what I
23:17
was saying. But you really, you didn't cut
23:19
me off, but you cut the whole, that whole narrative short by
23:23
saying I. Remember this?
23:24
I remember this. Oh, you were just like, OK, but
23:26
that's just fantasy. And at first there was the
23:28
resistance of like, this is my entire career.
23:30
I'm a relationship coach for these people, but and I was
23:33
like, hold on, wait, no, 90% of the work I do with a lot of my
23:36
clients is about the relationship itself and not so
23:40
much always about the kink. It's about the dynamics about
23:42
like how you work it in. But when push comes to shove,
23:46
when the chips are down, if someone needs to go to the
23:48
hospital, you're not going to the hospital as a dominus up you
23:51
were going. You're not.
23:51
Going in like your leather and your whips and chains and shed.
23:54
Yes, that's fantasy and I realized I just changed the
23:58
whole way I look at even my own dynamic and I am in a current
24:01
dynamic with someone I consider my Dom.
24:03
But like real life is the through line.
24:06
Those are just like fun moments or they are moments and ways we
24:10
connect in our relationship, but it's still just a fantasy.
24:12
And I think that that was a wake up call for me of like, yes, I
24:16
have to treat it like that in my own life and it like.
24:19
Yeah. Blew my mind and I know I mean
24:22
it's. It's really like, and I know,
24:25
and I'm not a psychologist, I don't understand, I don't even
24:28
psychologists don't understand all the insurance and outs of
24:30
how the brain works, especially when it comes to sex and these
24:33
kinds of things. But if you're only looking for
24:36
one thing when you go into a relationship, your limit, that's
24:39
a lack scarcity mindset. It's a full package type deal,
24:43
right? And anything we're ever looking
24:46
for in another person, we've got to find in ourselves first,
24:49
because you can call in exactly what you want. 1 You have to be
24:53
willing not to settle along the way.
24:55
You've got to wait until it feels right, and if you can't
24:58
wait, then you'll settle. So you've got to come from a
25:00
place of wholeness and completeness, not desperation
25:03
and lack and scarcity, because then you'll cling to whatever
25:06
you think that thing is, right? Yes.
25:09
And the dominant sub is more, I think instead of saying it's
25:13
fantasy, let's say it's energy, right?
25:16
Yes, yes, because it's an energy that you want.
25:20
And that type of dynamic can bleed into other parts of your
25:24
relationship, right. Yeah.
25:25
Like there's one aspect, you know, maybe he's dominant in
25:29
like the bedroom and it works. But then if he's like
25:32
aggressively dominant in life, like that's no, we don't want
25:36
that, right? So we want like this flow of
25:38
like protective safety energetically, like you want to
25:42
feel safe in the bedroom, out of the bedroom when you're at
25:45
dinner, when you're sitting on the couch by yourself, like
25:48
there's a certain energy that you want to feel.
25:52
The issue is most of us don't become familiar with the energy
25:55
that we want. We just think about it and we
25:57
think, I want that, but we don't actually have space in our
26:00
nervous system for actual safe energy.
26:03
So we reject it. And that's why we get in these
26:05
shit patterns, in these shit dynamics and this toxicity,
26:08
because we are toxic. And this is where the mirror
26:12
really sucks. But it's like you can't be in a
26:15
toxic dynamic with somebody if only one of you is toxic.
26:18
This you have to. Be toxic to be in toxicity.
26:22
So if you're like, why do I keep finding myself in these toxic
26:25
relationships, it's because there's pieces of your own
26:28
toxicity that you haven't addressed yet and you're still
26:30
attracted to toxicity. The attracted to toxicity is
26:34
very true. I'm speechless now because I'm
26:36
just thinking like there are certain relationships where like
26:39
your wounds attract to each other often, right?
26:42
And then? Absolutely wrong.
26:43
Mix because everyone has wounds, it's just if it's the wrong mix,
26:47
I think that cycle happens. I think it's if people aren't
26:51
willing to do the work is when you get stuck in toxicity
26:54
because that's the other thing. Like there's a certain level of
26:57
grace you have to have with yourself because we're all
27:00
toxic, right? We all have our own wounds.
27:02
We're all going to show really fucking ugly sides of our self,
27:05
which is why, again, I caution these messages of like, if
27:09
they're not showing perfectly, like they need to go.
27:11
And people will say like, you don't want somebody who's
27:14
perfect. But in the same breath, they'll
27:15
be like, if they're not fully choosing you 100% they have to
27:18
go. And it's like, it's been 3
27:20
weeks. Can we chill out?
27:21
Like, and just like maybe grow together.
27:24
But I think it's a growth mindset and a partnership
27:26
mindset that you want somebody who's willing to do the work
27:29
with you, but are you willing to do the work?
27:32
Are you willing to put your fucking shield down and your
27:34
pitchfork down? And also be like, oh, this feels
27:37
really vulnerable and scary. I'm gonna do it anyway.
27:40
Yes, that's, I just like sound bite, sound bite, like all of
27:45
these really valid things. There was a woman that I
27:48
followed for like half a minute on Instagram and she really blew
27:52
up. But her whole message was the
27:54
opposite of us. It was very much like men should
27:56
be paying for this, this in this, like I don't put up with
27:59
less than this. And of course, a lot of people
28:02
followed, right? Because it was this idea of
28:04
like, oh, this life exists for you.
28:05
But I eventually I realized this is the Andrew Tate for women.
28:08
Do you know what I mean? And I was like, it's in a
28:10
prettier package, a slightly less aggressive package.
28:14
But at the same time, I think it's selling this false thing of
28:16
you don't need to show up in any type of way.
28:19
I mean, she did have messaging about like how she made her own
28:22
money and made good money, but she expected to make more and do
28:24
all of these things. And like, I guess that's a
28:26
preference thing. But at the same time, that's
28:28
what I love about your messaging is very much you have to do the
28:31
work and it's. Just there's no way out of it.
28:34
And here's the thing some people say like, oh, it's it's wrong
28:37
for you to want a man who makes money like in today's society
28:40
with inflation and like, how can you fucking?
28:43
It doesn't matter what you desire.
28:45
Like your desires are not the problem.
28:46
It's your fear behind the desire.
28:48
So if you desire to be a stay at home mom with a man who makes,
28:52
you know, well into the six figures or seven figures, you're
28:55
allowed to desire that. But who are you once you have
28:59
it? When you think about like, Oh my
29:01
God, that would be like my dream life is to be like a really,
29:04
really kick ass stay at home mom or the husband who's really well
29:07
off. So I can do charity functions
29:09
and, you know, donate and be the PTA, whatever you want to do.
29:13
Like you're allowed to desire that.
29:14
Who are you when you have it? Get in that energy.
29:18
Because you sitting around nitpicking a man for every
29:21
single little thing he does that you don't like isn't going to
29:25
get you into that dream bubble life because you're not actually
29:27
boosting him up. And this is where women lying.
29:30
I don't have to baste him up. I don't have to do that.
29:31
Like yeah, you do. If you want a real true
29:34
partnership, you better work to become half of that fucking.
29:37
Partnership, that's the part. Like I work with this, with my
29:41
clients on this, specifically single clients who are looking
29:44
to date or find a Dom. I always force them to answer
29:47
me, what are you bringing to the table?
29:49
Like what, who are you playing in this partnership?
29:51
Because that's how I would set up my own dating profile.
29:54
I would say like, here's who I am, here's what I'm looking for,
29:56
here's what I bring, you know, because it's showing up and
29:59
being accountable that you want to be in partnership with
30:02
someone. I've never put it the way you
30:04
just did. I'm so glad you're here once
30:06
again, just like listening to you non-stop.
30:11
I'm like, what other Nuggets can I pull out?
30:13
I can probably more in here. I just love this stuff.
30:17
The thing is, is like for me, realizing that everything is a
30:20
reflection was the hardest message I've ever had to like
30:24
integrate into my life. Now that I understand it, I
30:28
fucking love it. Like it's so cool to be like,
30:32
who do I want to show up as in a relationship and how well can I
30:37
hold that state? How well can I hold that state
30:39
meaning like is this sustainable?
30:42
Is that? If I want to be, let me think
30:45
about who I want to be in a relationship.
30:47
Let's take relationship and I'm single right now so and I'm on
30:51
the apps. So I consciously think about who
30:55
do I want to be? If this guy I'm going out with
30:58
is my dream guy in the dream bubble, who am I in the dream
31:01
bubble? What energy am I holding in this
31:03
dream bubble? It's accountability for myself.
31:06
I'm holding him accountable for his actions.
31:08
I have kick ass fucking boundaries in that relationship.
31:12
Like I don't waver on things. I don't want to do these.
31:16
Like just take those three things.
31:18
Now I take that energy and I go into the first date with it.
31:21
I love that. OK, tell.
31:22
There's no compromising who I am anymore because somebody's
31:25
showing up as not what I want. It doesn't matter how excited I
31:29
am about this date, how compatible I think we are.
31:31
I'm not bending who I am because that doesn't get me to the dream
31:35
bubble life, shrinking myself and like squeezing myself into
31:38
this box and being like, OK, yeah, we we can like make out
31:41
even though I don't want to because I think that's what he
31:43
wants. That's not going to get me where
31:45
I want to go. So I have to be willing to say
31:47
no to people and keep that space open for the right person.
31:50
That's the thing that most people have trouble with.
31:53
Another nugget. Thank you.
31:55
I'm so glad I had like asked you to double, like double tap on
31:59
that. OK, tell me about your date.
32:01
Oh my God, it was awful. Why?
32:04
What? Why was he promising in the
32:05
first place? So he was here on business and I
32:09
will say like, I'm going to go live with this on my own channel
32:12
and well, I guess by the time this airs, you can go back to my
32:15
content and watch the live. It's easy to look back in
32:17
hindsight and be like, why'd you do that?
32:20
Like you shouldn't have done that.
32:21
You should have shifted here. How can I even tolerate that?
32:23
And I know people are probably going to say that.
32:24
So I'm like mentally preparing for it.
32:26
But like, he was in town for business.
32:28
We talked on Bumble. He was Full disclosure about
32:30
that and he said, you know, grabbing like a drink or a fun
32:34
date or a fling would be fun. And I said, well, I'm not up for
32:38
a fling. That's not my thing anymore.
32:40
Like I have decided my sexual energy is so vital to me and
32:44
when I give it away too soon, it kills me.
32:46
So I've decided, like, I've been celibate for, like, a little bit
32:49
of time here, which is wild because, like, I miss sex so
32:52
much. So we end up chatting.
32:55
We ended up chatting on the phone.
32:56
There was a vibe there. And we ended up meeting up and
33:00
we went to lunch at this little Taco spot.
33:02
I got some quesadillas. And then I was cold.
33:05
And he could see I had goosebumps inside.
33:07
He was like, let's go outside. I'm in Austin.
33:08
It's warm here. Yeah.
33:09
So we did this man immediately walked back to his hotel.
33:13
And I was like, wait, we're going back to your hotel.
33:15
And he was like, well, yeah, but not for that, not for that.
33:18
And like, my, this is where like the girl, come on.
33:21
He goes, well, there's a Starbucks or like I have a sofa
33:24
up in my suite and I didn't go up.
33:27
I wish I had said I told you no because my girl brain, my people
33:31
pleaser brain was like, well, maybe he is just being nice.
33:35
He was not being nice. He was trying to get me alone
33:38
and upstairs. Yeah, like 100% sure of that.
33:41
Now, in the moment, I wasn't. And this isn't even the bad
33:44
part. So I was like, well, let's just
33:45
go to this rooftop. Like I just redirected.
33:48
And so we went to a rooftop, we had drinks and then we left and
33:53
I walked home because I wasn't that far from where he had
33:55
drinks. And he went back to his hotel
33:57
and I got a text message like right as I walked in the door.
34:00
And he said, I wanted to kiss you, but Diane or whatever her
34:05
name was, was behind you, like side eyeing US1.
34:08
There was nobody. Well, what I said to him, I go,
34:11
oh, that's OK because making out on the street is like not my
34:15
thing. Like I didn't want to do that.
34:16
And he goes, oh, no, I meant when we were sitting at the
34:19
restaurant one, there was nobody behind me.
34:21
There was a group of insurance brokers like to the side of us
34:24
and I'm like, this is I could feel this is where the good
34:27
stuff comes in because I could feel that I was being
34:31
manipulated where previous versions of me, I wouldn't have
34:35
realized it. I'm like, you're trying to use a
34:37
fake woman to make me jealous to try and get me to come back out
34:41
and make out with you. Which?
34:42
Is crazy and that is it's like oh, I wanted to miss you because
34:44
he was also only in town on business right.
34:47
So this was like a time. And there were several other
34:50
comments that he made throughout the conversation that I was
34:55
like, not enough, that I was like, eel looking back, I should
34:59
have been like, no, I'm not doing this.
35:00
I'm not interested. My, I will say this, and this is
35:02
what I'm going to talk about on my life.
35:04
You've got to start to hone in on your nervous system and what
35:07
the fuck it's doing because I'm still practicing and I'm still
35:10
learning. My psyche and intuition and
35:13
nervous system was screaming at me the entire date.
35:16
I actually went in the bathroom at one point and said, Kristen,
35:19
you've got to live in the moment.
35:20
Because that's what I thought the issue was.
35:22
I was, I, everybody else kept crossing my mind, somebody that
35:25
I haven't talked to in years. And I was like, you've got to
35:27
just get a grip and live in the moment.
35:29
Like you don't have to commit to this guy.
35:31
Nothing has to happen. It doesn't have to be a thing.
35:33
But my intuition, the entire date was like, something's off
35:37
so energetically, like I would have brushed off an older
35:42
version of me would have been like, Kristen, you're just so
35:43
crazy that entire date, like you just can't relax.
35:46
Now I know like there's a reason I couldn't.
35:48
Yeah, I. And after that text message, he
35:50
brought me again and he's like, Kristen, do you want to make out
35:53
with me? And I was like, I didn't say
35:55
anything. And he wrote me back.
35:57
He goes, that doesn't sound like a hard yes.
35:59
And I said it is not sorry. And then he said something else.
36:02
And I was like, well, I told you that I didn't want to fling.
36:05
And instead of saying, and I actually consulted here and
36:08
ChatGPT was like, girl, red flag, red flag, red flag.
36:12
Instead of saying you're right, you did say that.
36:14
I'm sorry. I didn't like respect that
36:16
boundary. He went into a dissertation
36:18
about why I misunderstood what a fling was and then told me
36:21
you're guarded. It's OK.
36:23
I hate that when they're like. Because I would never do that to
36:27
somebody. I would never try and say like
36:30
oh the issue is with you and instead of respecting my.
36:33
Boundary he made about him. Yeah.
36:36
It was like. The good thing is though, when
36:39
he sent that dissertation, I could feel this older version of
36:42
me wanting to be like, no, I didn't misunderstand Here's and
36:46
here's why you're wrong. And here's that I did not answer
36:48
this man at all. He then wrote like an hour later
36:52
and was like, I'm going to dinner.
36:53
You're welcome to join me. And then I didn't answer that.
36:56
And he goes. I hope you have a good night.
36:57
Oh my God, that's actually a really.
36:59
Good story though, like it's good in the lesson of.
37:03
Like yes, honing in on your intuition and like continuing to
37:07
persist in a new in that dream bubble version of you because
37:11
you'll weed people out who don't have a place in the dream
37:14
bubble. You will weed them out on just
37:16
they'll do shit like this and you'll be like.
37:20
As opposed to thinking like every date I went on, I wanted
37:23
to impress the person and that was the wrong energy to bring to
37:26
the date. Yes, yeah, the crazy thing was
37:30
our. Conversation was like really
37:32
deep too. Like it was a conversation that
37:35
I wanted to be in. Like it was not surface level.
37:38
We were talking about spiritual stuff.
37:40
We were talking about like soul connections and, you know, our
37:43
wounds and traumas and not in like a trauma bonding way, but
37:46
just like an open, honest way. But my nervous system the whole
37:49
time was like, no. And like what I teach my clients
37:53
is you have got to know what energy you're in.
37:57
Like the more you can do it, the more successful you'll be at
37:59
creating because like you mistake and your subconscious
38:03
mind sends these like weird signals of like for self worth,
38:06
for example, me in a lesser self worth.
38:09
It wouldn't have been like this text message makes you feel
38:12
unworthy. It would have been you need to
38:14
justify why you're right. You need to tell him why he's
38:17
wrong. You need to change his mind.
38:19
You need to get him to see you and hear you and like you and
38:22
choose you. And that's what I would have
38:24
tried to do. But now I was in this place of
38:26
empowerment where I just said I don't like the way this text
38:29
message feels. But I'm not reacting to this.
38:32
I'm worth way more than this text message.
38:33
I'm worth so much more than being gas lit and manipulated
38:37
into to believing that I don't know what a fling is and I'm 43
38:40
years old. Like I don't fucking know what a
38:42
fling is or what that energy feels like.
38:44
Like, it was very cool to feel that new version of me come out,
38:48
but it's taken me a couple years.
38:50
So it's like, if you're doing this work and like, moving into
38:52
a new version of you, please stick with it because like, you
38:56
don't really know until something like this happens and
38:59
you're like, holy shit. Not only did I, like, not
39:02
respond to this, but I feel totally different about it.
39:04
Three years ago, me would have lost my fucking mind over this.
39:08
OK. Do you think?
39:10
That he is in that obsessive mindset of the rejection has had
39:15
sent him into a state of like not being able to cope.
39:19
So he was like trying to grasp, you know, I will say I.
39:22
Will answer it and I'm going to preface it with like, I almost
39:26
don't let myself go there because trying to understand
39:29
somebody else will give you more obsessive thoughts trying to
39:32
figure out because if let's say like good point.
39:35
It's like it's really bothering. Him.
39:37
It's really. Bothering him, but he's not
39:38
validating that it's bothering him.
39:40
Then we'll start to be like, OK, well now what do I do to make
39:43
sure that I know it's bothering him and we'll try and manipulate
39:46
the situation? Do I think it bothered him?
39:48
Absolutely. Do I think he knows what he did?
39:51
Absolutely. Will I ever uncover it?
39:54
I don't know. Like maybe at some point he'll
39:56
hit a growth and he'll be like, shit, that was fucked up of me
40:00
and he'll apologize. But like, I don't hold on to
40:03
that. Like, I just know behind the
40:05
scenes, like everything's working out.
40:07
And whether or not, you know, if he wants to be in that gross
40:10
energy, that manipulative energy, that subconsciously,
40:13
more power to him. Go find somebody that it's gonna
40:16
like work on. That's all really great points.
40:19
I'm like, yeah, that's logical. I also see how that can lead to
40:22
more obsessive thoughts because once you're trying to understand
40:25
someone else's psychology or understand, then again, the
40:27
focus is on them and again, for the wrong reasons on you.
40:31
OK, well. And it's like.
40:32
You think like? Well, if it bothered me, this is
40:34
what I do. So if it's bothering him, this
40:37
is what he'd do. And if he's not doing that, then
40:40
it's like we get like, maybe it didn't bother him.
40:42
Maybe he doesn't give a, maybe I'm really not worth it.
40:45
And we go back to that old version and then we're like, let
40:47
me prove my worth. Let me just send him one more
40:49
text. And then we get in that
40:50
manipulative energy, right? So if you can like when it comes
40:54
to like manifestation, there's like law of assumption.
40:56
If you can just assume like, yeah, that that fucking bother
40:59
the hell out of him and go on your way, do it because that's
41:02
so powerful. You just can't get caught up in
41:04
the assumption and needing validation of it.
41:06
Word that makes sense. That makes total sense.
41:09
All right. You obviously helped me a great
41:12
deal Again, like maybe it was timing.
41:14
It was like I was actively dating and putting myself out
41:16
there. But I do think the way I went
41:18
into this new relationship was in a very self assured way of
41:22
like, I don't need to rely on anybody else.
41:25
I'm making it all work and I can, if someone can compliment
41:28
that, that's great. But I don't need them to pull me
41:31
into a different version of myself.
41:32
I'm going to be that version already, with or without someone
41:34
else. It was powerful.
41:36
So for anyone who does want to hire you for coaching, and I
41:41
truly cannot recommend this enough, you were the first, like
41:44
I'm 50 something episodes into the podcast.
41:46
You were the first coach I've had on that I personally hired.
41:49
My review is she was fantastic and changed my life.
41:52
Kristen, how can you do? How can they hire you as their
41:55
coach? Tell us everything.
41:56
Yeah. So my Instagram is the Kristen
41:59
OTT. It's KRISTEN&AUT is my last
42:04
name. The link in my bio is there.
42:06
Like I have one to one coaching. I have low ticket products to
42:10
like a $27.00. If you want to like get into my
42:12
world, I have a freebie too. Actually that's really good.
42:14
My free podcast miniseries. Like if you want to peek into my
42:17
world, that's a great place to start.
42:19
It'll also get you on my mailing list, Ioffer workshops monthly.
42:23
And that's where I go into like my whole process and like we
42:26
implement that shit into your life.
42:28
But then I have 1:00 to 1:00 as well.
42:29
And if you're listening to the podcast and you want to do a one
42:32
to one with me, I have coupon codes codes, but Calendly
42:37
doesn't let me do 1 coupon code that it can apply to every
42:40
product. So if you have any trouble with
42:43
it like just DM me you're listening and you're the coupon
42:46
code isn't working, DM me. But on my 1:00 to 1:00 packages,
42:50
I sell them in packages of one session, three sessions, and
42:53
five sessions. So the coupon codes are going to
42:55
be Limitless 1, Limitless 3, and Limitless 5 depending on which
42:59
one you're on. If you have trouble with it,
43:00
please DM me. Please don't be afraid to DM me.
43:02
OK? Thomas, what is the discount?
43:04
Come with a percentage off. That's a 10% discount on my
43:07
percent. Discount.
43:07
Thank you. OK, so.
43:08
For that limitless 1, limitless 3 or limitless 5 and DM Chris
43:13
and if you're having any trouble with it.
43:15
I also do want to call out that I did the freebie first.
43:18
I did the five the video series. Then I even though I had already
43:23
hired you, I was it's like, well, let's make it as
43:25
productive as possible. So then I also got the 27
43:27
dollars five day thing before I before we were meeting and I
43:31
made sure to finish it before we met.
43:33
And all of those things alone were really helpful.
43:36
Nothing helped as much as the one-on-one like us going back
43:39
and forth. It's different when you being
43:41
smacked on the. Conversation.
43:42
Not being allowed. To live in my fake.
43:44
World is different and that's what I got from the one on ones
43:47
but that $27.00 like add on to the video series was amazing.
43:53
You have an amazing you have like a good manifestation
43:56
recording in there. I don't know if you do it
43:58
something in it. I was like, this is really good.
44:00
That alone I was. Oh, and the the detox.
44:03
The detox. Detox.
44:05
That detox. Yeah, there's two.
44:06
Audios in there. For manifestation, really good,
44:09
yeah. Just to help.
44:10
You get in that energy of the future.
44:12
Self and the other thing that I wanted to say to go along with
44:14
your coaching, I don't guarantee any sort of a result because one
44:18
of my main things is personal accountability.
44:21
But even with that and if you get the 27 dollars thing, this
44:24
will help a lot with it because trust and surrender to your
44:27
process is like single handedly the most powerful thing you can
44:31
do. Because I can't make shit show
44:33
up any more than you can. I mean if I would be able to do
44:36
that, I have a hot husband with a big Dick.
44:41
I also. Don't want to point.
44:42
Out that for me, this success wasn't ending up in a
44:44
relationship. It was facing my fears around
44:47
money and my retirement plan and how I was planning for my future
44:52
in a world where I was relying on me.
44:54
Because you always have to rely on you no matter what situation.
44:56
And I guess out of a situation where I learned that less than a
44:59
year ago, like anything can happen and then you're relying
45:02
on you. But I was living in a fearful
45:05
place of, well, I can't handle it.
45:06
Telling myself all sorts of things that made me way too
45:08
nervous and I was procrastinating on a lot of
45:10
things that our sessions helped me do, which led to me feeling
45:14
more confident, which helped me living at that higher level that
45:18
you're discussing that like truthfully.
45:20
That's the process too. If you want to like collapse
45:24
time, as they say, and you know, in the manifestation quantum
45:28
leap, your quantum leap into a new reality solely depends on
45:33
your ability to transcend your fear.
45:36
Your fear is the only thing keeping you stuck in the reality
45:38
that you want to be in. So procrastination that stems
45:41
from fear. Us not doing the things that we
45:43
know we need to do and saying that we're lazy, that's fear.
45:46
There's like a bigger block. The quicker you transcend that
45:49
block and you act, I think a lot of people think that, you know,
45:53
manifestation gets this Rep. Like if you just dream about it,
45:56
it'll happen. No, it won't.
45:57
You can sit on the couch and dream about the lottery all
45:59
fucking day. You don't get off your ass and
46:01
buy the ticket. You're not going to win.
46:03
Soda have an aligned action. We don't always know what that
46:07
aligned action is. That's why we channel our higher
46:09
self. But like the quicker that you
46:11
collapse that fear, that's when you step into the new reality.
46:14
So that's what it really depends on like you stepping into all
46:18
these new things after our calls.
46:20
It's just because you did the work to say I'm not fucking
46:22
letting this fear win anymore, not doing it.
46:24
Do you agree with that? Like that is what happened.
46:26
You're like a. Translator for manifestation
46:28
speak because so many people, myself included, have just been
46:31
like, show me how good it can get right?
46:34
But like, then you actually have to go out and do things so you
46:37
can see how good it can become, how good it can get, yes.
46:40
It's just. And even the collapsing time
46:43
thing or quantum leap, like I hear that all the time.
46:45
And the way you just described it was perfect.
46:47
I was like, Oh yeah, I play a part in this too as opposed to
46:49
just throwing it off to someone else to fix like the our new
46:53
reality doesn't just. Find you.
46:55
You have to become it. You have to become it.
46:57
How do you have so many sound bites in you?
46:59
Like I'm like, that's a really good point.
47:01
I'm gonna get like 50-6 sound. Bites to post on my Instagram
47:05
after this episode. Oh, it's so good.
47:08
It was so good. All right, Kristen.
47:10
Anything else? I could sit here all day and ask
47:12
you questions. That's the truth.
47:13
If you want to join my. Workshop another important piece
47:17
of my journey that to help you understand what you'll be
47:19
getting out of it. When I was learning about
47:21
manifestation, you know, even the psychology piece like moving
47:24
through your subconscious blocks, you know, you hear
47:26
things like get an energetic vibrational alignment with your
47:29
desires and that's when they'll come come true.
47:32
Increase your frequency. Like it's just, there's all
47:34
these buzzwords that I understood the concept of, but
47:38
my issue was I didn't have something that was like tangible
47:42
that I could repeat and continue to like sink into to start to
47:46
trust myself because that was my whole message.
47:48
Trust yourself, allow your desires to exist.
47:51
And then later, what I've learned was you want to desire
47:55
with less fear. Because when we're desiring and
47:57
we're running from our desire, it's because we're fucking
47:59
scared of our desire. We're not going to get it.
48:00
We're not good enough. It's not going to pick us,
48:02
choose us, love us. So I created a process to help
48:06
you get into that energy of allowing yourself to desire,
48:09
understanding the desire and moving through the fear.
48:12
The cool thing, and this has happened to me with those two
48:14
guys that I was talking about, when you move through the fear
48:18
and you actually do transcend the fear, if you're only holding
48:21
on to a desire because of the fear, the desire will naturally
48:25
go away. I agree with that.
48:27
One day you'll. Be like I don't even.
48:29
Fucking care about that thing anymore.
48:30
I don't want it. I have since talked to that,
48:32
that first guy that I told you about, where I had the spiritual
48:35
awakening, my feelings for him shut off like a light switch
48:39
because I transcended my fear of not being good enough, of not of
48:42
him not choosing me, of him being better than me.
48:45
I moved into the version of me consistently with my process
48:49
that said, hey, you're worthy. You don't need somebody else to
48:53
show you that you're worthy. And my feelings shut off.
48:55
He has reached out to me. We have talked, we've
48:57
reconnected. Like I still have love for him.
49:00
I could still get emotional if we talked about our past, but
49:02
like, I don't pine over him. I don't obsess over him.
49:05
I don't wish that he would call me and pick me.
49:08
I it just is. And that is like the
49:11
transformation that I want to get people to where you are
49:14
living your life, knowing that you have this amazing space open
49:17
for somebody who's going to choose you in the right way.
49:20
And on that note, because I. Go I could like literally go
49:23
right back into like more things like yes, I experienced that and
49:27
XYZ. We are kind of at time, Kristen.
49:31
This has been so. Fun I let's do it again.
49:34
I want. To do it, I love chatting with
49:37
you. I want to do it more.
49:38
I want to like. I just hope that people
49:41
understand from this how helpful you've been to me because like,
49:44
when I finished with you, I was like, I'm going to shout this
49:46
from the rooftops. Someone I think I was in
49:49
limerence with and had thought about and maybe not
49:52
aggressively, but had definitely thought about a lot for 10
49:54
years. As you just said what you said.
49:56
I was like, Oh yeah, that's that also cleared up because it
50:00
cleared up. So naturally, the way you say
50:02
the desire disappeared, I was like, wait, yeah, that happened
50:05
too. And it's just because it
50:06
disappeared, it wasn't a thing, you know?
50:09
Yeah. And limerence is.
50:10
Just you waiting for that other person.
50:12
That's what limerence is. Limerence is that that fear that
50:15
like if they don't choose me, I'll never become that version
50:17
of me. When you take that limerence and
50:19
you put it on you and you realize you can become that, the
50:22
desire for that person might fade because you're like, oh,
50:24
look at that. I didn't need you.
50:27
That's it. Look me.
50:28
Thriving and. Listen, fame, it just
50:30
disappeared. I forgot about.
50:31
I literally forgot about it. It's it's glorious when that.
50:35
Happens and that sometimes that's the letting go piece,
50:38
right? But like if something's meant to
50:40
be in your life, guys, it's not going to miss.
50:42
It will find you. Stop worrying about it.
50:45
Get in this energy of like becoming the person that you
50:48
want to become. You serve more of a purpose in
50:51
society and in this world, in this human experience than being
50:54
somebody's partner. Well said.
50:56
That's go fucking thrive. Yes.
50:58
Kristen, thank you so much for coming.
51:00
On and you can also just go directly to Kristen's website,
51:03
newbadassyou.com. Yes, that's my homepage and all
51:07
of my. Products, all of my stuff is at
51:09
the top. I'm migrating to a new website.
51:11
So if you hear this and you're like, wait, what?
51:13
Just check it out. It'll all be there.
51:15
You'll figure it out. Awesome.
51:16
All right. Thank you so much.
51:17
Kristen, this has been a blast. Yeah, it has.
51:22
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave
51:25
a review, and share it with anyone who might find it
51:27
interesting. And if you have any questions or
51:29
topics you'd like me to cover in future episodes, feel free to
51:32
reach out. E-mail info at the.
51:34
King. Consultant.com Until next time,
51:37
keep on kinking on. It's a King Consultant podcast.
51:52
Where we're turning up the heat on all things kink and dating,
51:54
relationships and pop culture. So close the door, plug in your
51:57
headphones, and let's get down to it.