Latest / Not All Business / Married to the CEO: Husbands Tell All
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Not All Business, a podcast by two former CEO's who
- 0:04and from competitors to friends. I'm Blakely Graham and my Co
- 0:07host is Heather Cooper. And we're joined by our
- 0:10producer, Clay Cornell, who's unsure that today's interview
- 0:15was a good idea. Nice look, Clay.
- 0:18Today we're flipping the script. Literally.
- 0:22We're bringing on the people who saw it all from the other side.
- 0:26Our husbands. That's cheers to them.
- 0:29All right. Cheers.
- 0:31I can't. I can't reach you.
- 0:41Normally we do not intro our guests so quickly on the show.
- 0:45There's usually pause. Heather and I usually catch up
- 0:48for a little bit, but I think it's important to get this like
- 0:50right out. So I'm going to go ahead and
- 0:52introduce the husbands, OK with my teleprompter because there's
- 0:56another in person show that's right in a row.
- 0:59It's so exciting. OK, our guest today are Scott
- 1:02Graham and Nick Widhelm, the men brave enough to marry too
- 1:07ambitious, occasionally impossible former rival CE OS
- 1:13Scott survived the CEO life from home while also managing his own
- 1:17career, 25 years as a developer at IBM, working on Watson and
- 1:22now teaching computer science at Front Range Community College.
- 1:26He is also former president of the University of Texas Juggling
- 1:30Club. What?
- 1:32Which somehow fits perfectly. Yeah.
- 1:36Nick worked with Heather at Cloud Coach.
- 1:39No story there. No story there.
- 1:41Saw her as CEO first hand and then decided to marry her
- 1:45anyway. He's now the architect behind
- 1:47Trade Agent, an AI platform designed to help tradespeople
- 1:51grow their businesses. His hidden talent is beatboxing.
- 1:55Not yet, which we're absolutely going to make him demonstrate.
- 1:59Not yet. Scott.
- 2:01Nick, welcome to Not All Business.
- 2:05It is a pleasure to be here. One quick correction I'm going
- 2:08to snap you is is vocal percussion.
- 2:11Oh, beatbox. Oh, really?
- 2:13You offended that? True.
- 2:14I am offended, but it's OK. I didn't like prep you.
- 2:16I didn't give you like the sheet.
- 2:17It is absolutely true. I would not joke about vocal
- 2:20percussion. There's some things.
- 2:22That are sacred. There are some things that are
- 2:24sacred, Yeah. Well, no, there's there's
- 2:26differences. Beatboxing is a thing, but vocal
- 2:28percussion is a different thing. What's with the difference?
- 2:32Well, I was just told we can't get into it yet.
- 2:33Oh, I like twice actually. I was told we.
- 2:35Can't. Yeah, you went there anyway.
- 2:37So actually now is the perfect time.
- 2:39Let's just let's. The the perfect well, beatboxing
- 2:42is is typically something that you do more.
- 2:44It's like a solo thing. Like, you know, you have people
- 2:46who are beatboxing or like, you know, stuff like that, like
- 2:50solo. But a vocal percussionist is
- 2:53trying to emulate a trap set. So they're looking at it going
- 2:56I'm going to do a bass drum like A and I'm going to do a snare
- 2:59drum like a I'm going to do a high hat.
- 3:02I'm going to put together to be. So your whole drum kit.
- 3:09And you're backing up a group. So it's not just boots and cats.
- 3:12It's not it, honestly. It is all boots and cats,
- 3:15though, actually. Yeah, that's that's The Dirty
- 3:17secret. OK, let's please, this is my
- 3:20thing. So if you could, yeah, please
- 3:22respect, you know, 20 years of study, intense study.
- 3:26It's just he's hanging on by a thread.
- 3:28Yeah, I've got one thing. I've got AI, which Scott already
- 3:31took from me, and I've got vocal percussion.
- 3:33I did not. I cannot Chuck it.
- 3:36No, that's an actual skill. OK so I just do party skills.
- 3:41I see you brought your. Balls with you juggling balls.
- 3:45There, I do. Yeah, I do bring them.
- 3:47He. Brought.
- 3:48Us giblets, Giblets, we heard you in the comments, OK?
- 3:53Yeah, it's it's time we got the beatbox.
- 3:56The people demand it. We have.
- 3:58They did. We're just going to jump, right?
- 3:59To it, I was demanding it constantly all day.
- 4:03Well, so I think The thing is that's interesting about it is
- 4:07that like if you, you only become the president of the
- 4:09juggling society by participating for a lot of years
- 4:13and. You Is it competitive?
- 4:16Is it tough? No, they just like let you in
- 4:18because you're a senior. It doesn't matter.
- 4:20Like I only yeah, it was no big deal.
- 4:22But like you start juggling and you're and you come from high
- 4:26school and you're like, I can't like I can juggle 3 balls, what
- 4:30do I do? And the first thing they say to
- 4:32you when you do it is they're like, can you do any tricks?
- 4:35So you have to learn to like and you're throwing the ball over
- 4:40and over and then you learn how to throw them all over and.
- 4:45Oh my God. Then you're doing I don't know,
- 4:48this is going to come off terrible on it's.
- 4:51Great for the people in the car, right?
- 4:53Now when I look at exactly. Let me paint a picture of this.
- 4:55My words. They're colorful balls.
- 4:57Yeah. And Scott is juggling those
- 4:59balls. It's so professionally.
- 5:02Here's the thing. The only handle.
- 5:03It all comes down to like you at the beginning, you're learnt
- 5:07trying to learn this one trick which is called a Mills mess,
- 5:11and you can kind of do it. Oh my God.
- 5:15Oh. Goodness.
- 5:17OK, this is not an episode of listening in the car.
- 5:19This is amazing. It's too hard to smite and stuff
- 5:21but either way that's the deal. That's.
- 5:23Performance though I want to I want to beatboxing.
- 5:26Yeah. There we go.
- 5:27Oh, do it at the same time. You want to do a duo?
- 5:29All right, lifetime, let's do. You want to do a duo?
- 5:31Yeah, we got to do it for the reels.
- 5:54Yeah, shut me up with the throw at the end.
- 5:57There we go. There we go, vocal.
- 6:00Percussion. That right there I've been.
- 6:02I've been looking for somebody. Yeah.
- 6:04Good busker. OK, so these men are ours.
- 6:09OK, Thanks. You just back right the hell
- 6:13off. Yeah, that was impressive.
- 6:15There you go, I'm. Serious.
- 6:16I'm serious. That was very impressive.
- 6:18We have to have. Skills.
- 6:20Here's the point. Right.
- 6:22Back. Here's my question to you,
- 6:23Heather. Did you know?
- 6:25Did you know that Nick did this before you married him?
- 6:31I did. I did know.
- 6:33And it was actually so funny story.
- 6:37We were in some country, I forget.
- 6:41Sweden. Sweden and a client had heard at
- 6:45a conference or something that Nick was able to do this.
- 6:48And so it was the Swedes party like crazy.
- 6:52I mean, it was off the hook they had.
- 6:54An after 5:00 PM. Yeah, exactly.
- 6:56They had an ABBA performance being like full costumes and
- 6:59everything. Throughout the entire dinner.
- 7:01Everyone is having the time of their life.
- 7:03At the very end of the night, the president of the company
- 7:07comes up and he says, OK, everybody, we've got one last
- 7:10performance or we've got a presentation from the company,
- 7:14our company ex cloud coach. And so Nick could come up and I
- 7:18was sitting at this executive table and we were at different
- 7:20tables and the guy next to me, he's like, oh, this poor
- 7:23bastard. Like no one's in the mood for
- 7:24like a pitch or you know what I mean?
- 7:26Everyone's been partying and he's like, felt so bad for him.
- 7:28I was like, hold on, I have an idea about what's going to
- 7:30happen. So he went up on stage.
- 7:32You pretended to start doing a picture like, so I just wanted
- 7:35to clear up a couple things that from the presentation earlier.
- 7:37And then he just launched in to this vocal percussion.
- 7:40It was 4 minutes long. 4 minutes long. 4 glorious minutes. 4
- 7:46glorious minutes. Well, if people at first didn't
- 7:48understand what was happening and then once they did, and then
- 7:50you did it with this build that was incredible.
- 7:53And it was just like just thought it was going to be done.
- 7:56And then it went to like to the next level.
- 7:58Everyone's on their feet by the end of it, like standing
- 8:00ovation. The ABBA band was like, well I
- 8:03guess we suck. That's exactly what they told
- 8:06me. Yeah.
- 8:08They're like, I guess all we can do is do dancing clean now and.
- 8:11They're like lip syncing like nobody.
- 8:13So it was you were just like made everyone's night.
- 8:16And that was, it was kind of a little bit of a like, what's
- 8:19this guy got going on? And then all of the girls after
- 8:23you, they were like, Oh my God. The Swedes do love.
- 8:26They do. Love they do love a.
- 8:27Good, that's funny. So yes, I did.
- 8:29That's funny. OK, so yes, I did.
- 8:31I did know, and it was something I really liked about him.
- 8:34But what about you guys? Did you know that Scott was a
- 8:37juggler? I did, yeah.
- 8:39I did know because you were a juggler and then you told me
- 8:44you're a unicycler. So it was like, and then he
- 8:48could juggle on the unicycle and he had the unicycle and I think
- 8:51maybe you. Could juggle on the unicycle.
- 8:54Not anymore. Yeah, but he did and.
- 8:56He could. At one point he got to guess at
- 8:58one time. And so it was a lot for me to,
- 9:03to know that I, we were engaged and he was a juggler and that
- 9:06was like confusing. That's not a hobby I'm used to.
- 9:09And then I found out he's a unicycler and like, well, where
- 9:11did he learn to unicycle? That's like not, but I was all
- 9:14set and I had like accepted all that.
- 9:17I accepted it. And I was like, this is this
- 9:19guy's. A meeting.
- 9:19So wait, wait, why was that a bad thing?
- 9:21I feel I would be so excited. Because I.
- 9:24AM. A like stiff.
- 9:27I just didn't. I wasn't loose yet like I just.
- 9:30Right. Were you worried he was raised
- 9:32in a circus? I was stuffy and proper and this
- 9:36was all like it's. It's why we work so well.
- 9:39And to be fair, the two of you brought up both vocal
- 9:44percussion, thank you, and juggling, saying it's so awesome
- 9:49they should do it on the show. Thank you.
- 9:52Very. Proud.
- 9:53I am super proud, very proud. I brag all the same.
- 9:57And so we've talked about both of the couples here, but the
- 10:01newest couple in the room we should talk about.
- 10:05Happy wedding, newlywed. How do we say that?
- 10:08We've got married this year. He's talking about you and me.
- 10:12I'm talking about. You guys are longer than you 2.
- 10:14Of you. Oh, we.
- 10:16Are the new are we are longer than lately and I have been
- 10:20together longer than you and I have been married.
- 10:22This is going to be difficult, me getting to the question.
- 10:25This is going to be difficult. I feel like you guys are just
- 10:27going to. I'm sorry.
- 10:28That sounds like every podcast. It's.
- 10:30Every show. Thank you.
- 10:32Yeah, so. Yeah.
- 10:34OK, thank you, man. I feel really seen right now.
- 10:36OK, All right, So I. Feel like it's time?
- 10:38This question, this question, this is your dream episode
- 10:43because there's wine on that. They won't let us drink on that
- 10:46show for good reasons. OK, regardless, here's the
- 10:49question, and the question goes to the men.
- 10:52So the newest couple is Blakely and Heather, and they've created
- 10:59a show, but they weren't always friends.
- 11:03They weren't always podcast hosts.
- 11:05So they've transitioned from competitors to friends.
- 11:09We've heard their perspective. So now shifting over to the
- 11:13other side of the room, like to hear from both of you guys.
- 11:16What was your experience like? What was the story like from
- 11:20your side? Well, I hated Blakely a lot more
- 11:22than Heather did. So yeah, I had Blakely.
- 11:27I had Blakely's picture on my wall with, with the the darts on
- 11:32it. Every time we would lose a deal
- 11:34to you, I would. I just got Blakely.
- 11:38Maybe. Maybe it was.
- 11:40You and I were also competitors. You and I were also competitors.
- 11:44Yeah. And, you know, I think when I
- 11:47first heard from Heather that she was going to meet you, I was
- 11:50like, what? And this was a good year after
- 11:53both of us had exited. But I was like, that.
- 11:56That's the CEO of Taskbree. What if she gets our secrets?
- 12:03You know any? Secret What if she understands
- 12:05how many levels deep in a Gantt chart we can or cannot go?
- 12:08I I mean, we can't just get that information out there.
- 12:10Big deal. That's a big deal.
- 12:12You see what I'm? Saying so, yeah.
- 12:14What's a Gantt? What's?
- 12:15A Gantt Chart A Gantt chart is a visual representation of a
- 12:19timeline for a project. But could anyone is Gantt?
- 12:23Is that in a acronym or not? It's a name.
- 12:27It's a name ITT. It's funny, I actually never
- 12:31knew. I always just sort of assumed
- 12:33some dude named Gregory Grant Gantt created the Gantt chart.
- 12:38Funny story about trying to get out on a cookie by two TS.
- 12:41But anyway, not to get too off the topic.
- 12:44Is it 2 TS? Oh, is it 2 NS?
- 12:45It's two NS. Yeah.
- 12:47So I, I was, I was a little like, OK, call me after.
- 12:51I want to hear how terrible this went.
- 12:54And she did call me afterward and she was like, we're you
- 12:56going to do a podcast? And I said, there is absolutely
- 13:04no way in hell that you 2 are going to do a podcast.
- 13:09And here we are. On the podcast, you were wrong.
- 13:13Yeah, Scott, what was it like for you?
- 13:15Much shorter and in, in, in, in the gist.
- 13:20I was like, oh, I didn't know you had a competitor.
- 13:22Cool. All right, well, have fun, like,
- 13:26like. And then she came back and she's
- 13:28like, oh, I think we're gonna do a podcast.
- 13:29I was like, that sounds cool. Like go have fun like whatever.
- 13:32This. Sounds great.
- 13:33Like should we move to Fort Collins so we can like be their
- 13:36real friends? Yes.
- 13:38You should and I'm still and. So yeah, so I just I I never
- 13:43like no hole. I don't pay much attention to
- 13:48what's going on on in the task Ray world other than what
- 13:52directly impacted Blakely on a day-to-day basis.
- 13:56And so the rest of it, I was like, I don't know.
- 13:58And no offense, I had never heard of this other I I'd heard
- 14:03of the other company and all my. Prospects.
- 14:05I'd heard of the other company and I knew that it like that
- 14:08there were people competing and all this stuff, but that's just
- 14:11like regular business stuff. And I was like whatever, you
- 14:14know, you guys either make enough money or you don't.
- 14:17Like it's not never stressed me out.
- 14:21Good, didn't stress me out either.
- 14:22You know, the truth is I'm. Glad to know that it stressed
- 14:25me. Out.
- 14:25It did stress me out. The funny thing was, I actually,
- 14:28until we exited, maybe, I don't know, a month before she met
- 14:31you, I actually know you were a woman.
- 14:34Interesting. Yeah, because I had never met
- 14:37you, I'd never seen you, and I'd heard other people refer to you.
- 14:40People called me Mr. Blakely all the time, like checking into
- 14:42hotels. They're like Mr. Blakely.
- 14:45No, I never heard Mr. Blakely, but I would hear Blakely.
- 14:47And so I actually never knew that you were a woman.
- 14:50Well, we never really got into like the person of you or you
- 14:52knowing me or it wasn't about. It was just company to company.
- 14:55It was never. It was always company.
- 14:57It was like, it was like a constant company.
- 14:59Company threat, Yeah, but I, the people part of it never.
- 15:03Really came into play whenever we ran into your people at like
- 15:07an airport or event that we were always like, they look actually
- 15:10pretty cool. They're so fast.
- 15:11No, that's what my people would do.
- 15:12Fast. They're like.
- 15:13Yeah. My guy John Clarkson, shout out
- 15:15to him would go talk with them and he'd come back and be like,
- 15:18they're actually pretty cool. He's like don't say that, don't
- 15:20say that, don't don't make shout.
- 15:22Out my guy John as well like. Actually, I know that I know
- 15:25that John too and he is very cool.
- 15:26The best, yes, he is the best. Shout out to that John too.
- 15:29But yeah, no, I did not. It's it is funny.
- 15:32I didn't want to think of them as human beings.
- 15:34And so, yeah. So when you were not only a
- 15:37woman, but a woman who became like immediate best friends with
- 15:40Heather, like within. You get the best friend thing,
- 15:42you're going to get in. So I got Did you get in so much
- 15:44trouble over the best? Friends.
- 15:45Sorry, Best. Thing bolder to for call best.
- 15:47Friends. Yeah.
- 15:48I know best podcast friends. Got a lot for that.
- 15:51Well, the best friend thing it's it's very don't you feel like
- 15:54you have so many best friends like I?
- 15:56Only ever had one best friend. And so I thought best friend my
- 16:00whole life, it was reserved for your best friend, right?
- 16:03And then Lula, my daughter, she's like, no, you gonna have I
- 16:07have like a. 100 best. Friends, I'm like oh, is this
- 16:09some new Gen. Z shit?
- 16:11Like whoa. But I don't.
- 16:13You have close friends that are close to you in different ways,
- 16:16though. Yes, right.
- 16:17Like you've got your Ogs, like the ones that you grew up with,
- 16:20and then you've got ones that made like us with this.
- 16:22Like we have so much in common and we have lived this life.
- 16:25I get it. I get it too.
- 16:26Yeah, yeah. OK, so the interesting thing
- 16:29about this episode is that the two of you, the guys, you bring
- 16:33a really fun new perspective to the show because our audience,
- 16:38our listeners only see and hear. What we want them to.
- 16:42Yes, but like I, like I've told you before, the two of you bring
- 16:49your full selves to the show, at least from what I can see.
- 16:53But we have here the truth tellers.
- 16:56So on the show, both Blakely and Heather bring a lot of
- 17:01vulnerability and sometimes that.
- 17:04Backfires. Oh no.
- 17:07I have. Those tissues?
- 17:08Don't worry. Oh, OK, she's crying already.
- 17:10I can't play. There's a lot of self
- 17:12reflection, there's a lot of my therapist even, just like when
- 17:16you stir up the pot, some doubt comes up, some insecurities come
- 17:20up. And so my question to the guys
- 17:22is, what's something that Blakely and Heather don't give
- 17:27themselves credit for? And maybe even an extension of
- 17:31that is what's something that the two of you don't give
- 17:35yourselves credit for, that you think you're getting right, that
- 17:38you've seen the fruit come from? Double whammy.
- 17:42I think that I think what's fun is that like watching you be CEO
- 17:49and do all this stuff, there certainly was like additional
- 17:57whatever placed on me. A lot of pressure.
- 18:01But The thing is, is that like I still don't, I never managed a
- 18:07calendar. I never like, I never knew when
- 18:11the kids were going to whatever they were doing or whatever.
- 18:14I just did it because it had already been put in the
- 18:17calendar. And so there's a lot of, there
- 18:21was a lot of management and effort that was taking place
- 18:24that was that was still, you were still doing it all and not.
- 18:30Like Courtney, shout out to you. And you were still, yeah, you
- 18:35were still doing all that. And so like it was that made it
- 18:39like not hard because I was doing the part that I like
- 18:42doing. And so I think I that was always
- 18:45like the, that was the cool thing.
- 18:47But I think like from a podcast perspective, she's pretty much
- 18:50the it's pretty much the same as she is and.
- 18:55Oh, he's basically saying that personality is making a comeback
- 18:58into the house, is what I'm hearing.
- 19:00Like you are CEO, I had all this like pressure to like help
- 19:05support. And the dogs twice today.
- 19:07Tired for three years and then all of a sudden this podcast
- 19:11happened. And my.
- 19:12CEO Blakely is back and I'm walking the dogs twice a day,
- 19:15every day, in the cold, and I didn't even walk the dog.
- 19:17That is a funnier way to put it. That was I was trying.
- 19:21To be it was a good word, so let's get into that.
- 19:24Oh, I like that. I like I'm.
- 19:26Going to start using funnier is like my like are we fighting or
- 19:29are we this is stuff. We're laughing, we're laughing.
- 19:31We're. Laughing because it's funny.
- 19:32Yeah, but I. Wait, hold on, I don't love how
- 19:35you didn't accept what he just said.
- 19:38Well. I Did you hear it?
- 19:40I heard it and I think that that is quite normal for for women,
- 19:44to be honest. Like when we say we can't have
- 19:49it all or we have to have it all or we have to see it at the
- 19:51table, blah, blah blah blah, all those phrases.
- 19:53The reality is we feel I I'm going to make a stereotypical
- 19:59comment. We feel this innate need to care
- 20:03for our family in a different way than I think men typically
- 20:08do, right? Like they're, I think you're, I
- 20:11mean, this is such gender stereotype.
- 20:12Are you looking for the words hunter and gatherer?
- 20:15A little bit like. What do you think he's doing?
- 20:18He's walking the dogs. Yeah, I mean picking up sticks.
- 20:21I and I, I'm also just really good at it, right?
- 20:24Like I can kind of keep all it mentally in my head, like, OK,
- 20:28they need their sports physicals, they need their
- 20:30regular physicals. OK, they're sick.
- 20:32So what like we go AB and C? But you're doing that out of a
- 20:35care for them, not out of because you don't trust Scott to
- 20:37do it. I don't think that you were like
- 20:38coming in like swooping and like I'm going to be CEO of the
- 20:40house. I think that's different.
- 20:42I think that that I think that I think the difference is, is that
- 20:46we identify things as being important differently.
- 20:50Yes, OK. And so for me, I look at it and
- 20:53go, these are the things that are important.
- 20:56I'm going to have fun with my kids.
- 20:57Yeah. I'm going to feed my kids.
- 20:59I'm going to keep them from dying.
- 21:01Sounds. But I asked them when the last
- 21:03time they had their teeth cleaned.
- 21:05Well, you. Can live without teeth.
- 21:07I but well, that's because they cancelled the appointments and
- 21:10and. I don't.
- 21:11I was busy with the podcast so I haven't had time to.
- 21:14Like I make, I tend to make the appointment.
- 21:16No, you remind me, but there's impossible to make the
- 21:19appointment. This is this is this is good.
- 21:20This is about, by the way, what I expected on this podcast.
- 21:22Yeah, yeah, let's let's keep you.
- 21:25But Scott, do you not care about teeth?
- 21:27Is that is that what this is like you were they're important?
- 21:30Do not think. I care.
- 21:31Yeah, but isn't also like, it's crazy that Blakely wouldn't do
- 21:34that though, right? So she also doesn't care about
- 21:36teeth. Say that.
- 21:39You do. Your teeth are perfect.
- 21:40Yeah, I don't know. I took.
- 21:41I only have three fake teeth. He's just the bottom three are
- 21:44fake. The problem is this with
- 21:45teenagers, yeah, they have all their worst schedules and
- 21:49they're terrible and you can't figure out when to do it.
- 21:52And I made appointments for my kids.
- 21:54Twice. Yes, and they had something else
- 21:57that wasn't on the calendar that had to be cancelled.
- 21:59Here's the difference between like a third dad.
- 22:01He came up. I would, yeah.
- 22:03That's a learn for the kids. Yeah.
- 22:05Yeah, they can give you kids. On my mind, definitely have fun,
- 22:08Gavin. The teeth when they're older.
- 22:10I'm like, you have insurance and you have a phone, make an
- 22:12appointment. Like you can you.
- 22:14Can get your I don't know, I, it's, it's a tough one and I and
- 22:17I struggle, but I'm also like I don't I need them.
- 22:22This is the difference. I think this is one of the core
- 22:24differences is which is I like if I don't have, if you don't
- 22:28have full agency to make the decision, then you you give up
- 22:34agency in that process. So like if you can't, like
- 22:39that's what I do anyway. So if I don't, if I can't make
- 22:42the decision on my own and I have to ask three people, I'm
- 22:45like, well, whatever, I'm not making it, I don't care.
- 22:48Like these other three people all have an opinion, and I don't
- 22:53care about it, so I'm not going to.
- 22:55I'm just out. Yeah.
- 22:57And so that's where part of the problem.
- 22:58Comes in what I'm hearing. It's not a problem.
- 23:00What I'm hearing is I managed the overhead of all, like the
- 23:03House of stuff and I'm running the company.
- 23:05But I just want to acknowledge, like you gave me the gift of
- 23:09letting all that shit roll right off of you.
- 23:12And imagine if there were two of us in a house.
- 23:17It would be holy fucking nightmare.
- 23:20And So what do you mean? Roll off like.
- 23:23I came home and I couldn't like shut it off like it was things
- 23:27were running a company. You feel so alone, so stressed
- 23:32out. You have the weight of the world
- 23:34and I had two babies and I I just I couldn't quite shut off.
- 23:39So guess who got the fall out like it?
- 23:42Sounds like you were like you understood and accepted the
- 23:44stress she was under. You weren't resentful toward it.
- 23:46You sounds like you understood it.
- 23:48Oh, no, totally understood it. Yeah, like, understood.
- 23:50Supported was very happy with the whole thing.
- 23:52I mean like it was a like it was like it was all like we made
- 23:58lots of sacrifices for it and like we sold cars, we sold
- 24:04bikes, we sold everything we had that we could.
- 24:08It was. Juggling in the street.
- 24:10I was like, it was, but I was working at IBM, but I was
- 24:15working at IBM and I and I liked it and like I can talk to and I
- 24:19was, it's funny, I was explaining telling Nick this.
- 24:21I was like, I, I don't take the stress of work in a, in a way
- 24:28that matters. Like I just all like once it's
- 24:31once it once it's time, once it's 5:00, I'm like, I'm done.
- 24:34Like I don't have to stress about it.
- 24:36I've I've been married to him for almost 20 years and I don't
- 24:39know how he does it. It is.
- 24:41It's a gift. It's a true superpower.
- 24:44Well, you know, what's funny is so with Heather and I, I had a
- 24:48bit of the opposite because when she was stressed, I was also
- 24:51stressed. You know, we, we were working
- 24:53together. So a lot of the stressful
- 24:56situations and, and we, I, I think probably 95% of our
- 25:01working relationship was before we even started dating.
- 25:03But Even so, like we, I think bonded so much through us both
- 25:07being like, Oh my gosh, this client's gonna churn or Oh my
- 25:11gosh, how do we get this deal? And so this kind of powder keg
- 25:15once we both left cloud coach, I'm like, how do we how do we
- 25:18duplicate that at home? So when?
- 25:20You wanted to have that high stress environment?
- 25:23Yeah. So I just.
- 25:23Start bites all the time. Absolutely sexual tension.
- 25:27I was like, yes, let's let's get a desk set up here.
- 25:31Let's like put a bunch of paper on it so we can just throw it
- 25:33off. I joke mostly, but I I part of
- 25:38what attracted me to her was how she handled the stress was
- 25:42seeing her in that situation, which was the power, but also
- 25:45just how she handled it, the way she did it.
- 25:49I learned so much from watching her do it.
- 25:51And so that was attractive. That was absolutely attractive.
- 25:55But I think what surprised me the most with Heather is that
- 25:58she is, you know, this powerful, well put together, super bougie
- 26:03woman, right? I mean, look, look at.
- 26:05Bougie. Super bougie.
- 26:06And so when we started dating, I assumed that, you know,
- 26:11everything had to be up to the next level.
- 26:13What are you going to? It's like we're like, if we're
- 26:15going to dinner, it better be a Mission Star restaurant dinner.
- 26:19If we're going out to a show, it better be like the best seats at
- 26:23the Buell. Like there's no taking it down a
- 26:25level. Like when I when I would come
- 26:27home and I'd say, hey, let's cook dinner.
- 26:29I'm like, am I making like a bechamel sauce?
- 26:32Am I getting like oysters? Am I getting like an?
- 26:34Oyster Jade. This was the expectation.
- 26:36This was the expectation in my head because, and I think most
- 26:39people know Heather would think the same thing, that she's just
- 26:42classy, She's bougie. Put.
- 26:45Together. Well, the butt is, you know,
- 26:48like, like I was joking about this before, but like for lunch
- 26:52she'll open a can of tuna and eat that or for dinner I'll be
- 26:55like, what do you want to do for dinner?
- 26:56And she'll be like, I don't know, a grilled cheese sandwich.
- 26:58I'm like, OK, like, what do you want?
- 27:00Like, you know, what kind of cheese?
- 27:01Like do you Yeah. Do you want Gruyere?
- 27:03And she's like, do we have American?
- 27:04Like I think there's a Kraft American slice in there and
- 27:07we'll cut the the moldy part off the.
- 27:09Bread. It's just Cracker Barrel.
- 27:10I'm no bougie. This is Detroit in me.
- 27:13Yeah, this is the white bread strapping.
- 27:16This is some type of boy. Yeah, you know, sorry D Town,
- 27:20but like. We've got good pizza.
- 27:21Yeah, like you do have. But I did like the tomato soup
- 27:24was at Campbell's though. Don't.
- 27:25Like, don't put some basil in my tomato soup.
- 27:28Don't. Do a balls and she's like don't
- 27:30Lipton soup. She's like, don't bring home
- 27:32some like nice straight. Like straight noodle.
- 27:36Yeah, it bloom. I would I expected nothing but
- 27:39five star. Now she'll love she loves five
- 27:41star. She'll go and do 5. * I love a
- 27:42Michelin. She loves a Michelin restaurant,
- 27:44but she is equally. Happy.
- 27:47Literally just grabbing a handful of crackers and, you
- 27:52know, some cheese that again has mold on it that we probably
- 27:55scrape off. This is hilarious.
- 27:58This is something you guys have in common that I don't think you
- 28:00recognize you have. In common.
- 28:02Because Blakely can kind of eat a bunch of shit food too.
- 28:06And and if I don't, if I'm not here and present to cook her
- 28:12food that she can eat that's actually good for her, she will
- 28:17literally eat like she said, don't talk something or or
- 28:21nachos. She'll just eat nachos and
- 28:23cheese, like chips and cheese all the time.
- 28:25Yes exactly. I'm just sorry but but they do
- 28:27like my. Graham crackers.
- 28:29Oh yeah, you mix it Graham crackers and brown sugar and
- 28:32butter. She mashes them all together.
- 28:35From a ball with like a girly movie.
- 28:38Oh my God, it is our. Last Oh my.
- 28:42God, but she she. But anyway, that's funny that
- 28:44you guys have that in. Common I do corn checks with
- 28:47chocolate chips in it. Yes, she'll be like what let's I
- 28:50I want I have a sweet tooth. Let's do some dessert.
- 28:52I'm like, OK, I like what what do you and she's like corn
- 28:54checks and. Yeah.
- 28:56That's all you need. I'm gonna try that.
- 28:58I'm. Gonna go I I tell you, I was not
- 29:01prepared. I'm still not prepared for it.
- 29:03I do. I'm still ready to make a.
- 29:04Bechamel sauce. Such a good cook, and I do.
- 29:06I still don't the bechamel is the white sauce.
- 29:08It is the white. Sauce.
- 29:09But it's not Alfredo. No, no.
- 29:10No, no, no, no. Alfredo is Oh my gosh, no.
- 29:14You saw you. Both.
- 29:15Of. Our men like cook.
- 29:17But I don't know. I know.
- 29:18That was a necessity for me, the cook.
- 29:21Like I just, I, I'm really bad at it.
- 29:24Yeah, horribly. Bad at cooking.
- 29:25I don't like it I. Don't like it?
- 29:27Grocery stores stress. Me out, whatever.
- 29:29Stores. Stress me out.
- 29:31OK, every female listener listening to this podcast, I
- 29:36guarantee their number one question that they hate from
- 29:41their husbands. What should we do for dinner
- 29:45tonight? Yeah.
- 29:46Preach, are you? Fucking kidding me I'm.
- 29:48Do you know why that question is asked?
- 29:50Do you want to know why? Why I'm having dinner.
- 29:53I know exactly what Scott's about.
- 29:54To say, by the way, do you know why?
- 29:55Why? Because you actually care.
- 29:59And if I just make dinner, you're going to be like.
- 30:02Not bullshit. It is 100% this.
- 30:04I don't, I don't why? Why would you make seafood
- 30:06tonight? We just had seafood yesterday.
- 30:08Why would? We do I.
- 30:09Never said that to you. Or you maybe your kids want.
- 30:13To Yeah. Just I've.
- 30:14Never. Said that the decision.
- 30:16Why? Is there so much cheese in this?
- 30:18I don't. I don't want to have cheese
- 30:19tonight. I will wander around the grocery
- 30:21store and then sometimes I just go home.
- 30:22I'm like, I tried and then go. We're going to just start.
- 30:25I don't either. It's just apart all the way.
- 30:26It's hell yeah, it's apart. It's so stressed.
- 30:28The worst. Yes, it's the worst.
- 30:30It's. AI think the problem is is that
- 30:32we just talked about it, which is that we all have default
- 30:35foods we would eat yeah under any circumstance, right?
- 30:39And some of y'all would eat like Nacho cheese and stuff And and
- 30:49no offense, I would just like I'm like, I would just cook meat
- 30:53and I'm like I'm just eating meat.
- 30:55I'm going to eat meat and I'm going to eat a potato and that's
- 30:58it and I'm not eating it and like, and so so the problem is
- 31:02that we all default to these interesting like things and we
- 31:06have to negotiate what our what our default is.
- 31:09And so if we can't figure out what our default is, then you're
- 31:12like, we have to ask. And so whoever's making the
- 31:16whoever's cooking has to be like, well, my default is I want
- 31:21to make this meat here that we have in the freezer and this
- 31:26right? Is that good, right?
- 31:27No, it's not good, right? I would rather have this and
- 31:30that. So we.
- 31:30Need to be more like if they're cooking, we just eat it.
- 31:34I actually think that Clay needs to switch the topic because I
- 31:38would argue mad. I would have eaten anything to
- 31:40not have to make that decision. And by the way, we're in year 20
- 31:43and it's still an issue. So what's our?
- 31:45Next topic. That's before we move on to the
- 31:47next topic. Quick, quick, quick.
- 31:48One more thing I will say when we're ordering out, yeah, it's
- 31:51a, it's a whole fucking thing. It's a whole fucking thing
- 31:54because it's the DoorDash decision.
- 31:57Oh. Yeah.
- 31:58And then and Nick's like, where are we ordering?
- 32:01And I'm like, whatever you think.
- 32:03Yeah. And then you know better.
- 32:04Because I do know better. Yeah, I'm like, OK.
- 32:06For you, well, I typically it's like this like whatever you
- 32:08think and I'm like awesome, Well, I'll go for some Asian
- 32:11food. Nope, Heather doesn't like Asian
- 32:13food so won't do any any Asian food.
- 32:14So then I'm like. Well, but they want Chinese
- 32:16food. I like sushi.
- 32:18Right, so she'll do sushi. One particular type of Asian.
- 32:22Food. One specific type.
- 32:25Is there is this too heavy? Is it too heavy I.
- 32:27Don't care. And then you ask, what about
- 32:29this? I'm like, no, not that.
- 32:30No, you'll say I don't care. Then I'll say awesome, let's do.
- 32:33We'll do sandwiches. And you're like, yeah.
- 32:34That's true. I think that's what happens all
- 32:37the time. It's like enough knows.
- 32:39It's like, wait, it's, it's similar to like when you ask
- 32:44someone to go do something, you ask somebody that you're like,
- 32:46you're trying to make a new friend.
- 32:48You're like, hey, do you want to go get coffee?
- 32:50No, I can't do it that time. Hey, do you want to go get
- 32:53coffee? Right.
- 32:54No, I can't do it that time. Yeah.
- 32:56Hey, do you want to go get coffee?
- 32:57No, never calling you. Again.
- 32:59Third time, no. Yeah.
- 33:00And you're done. And so like, but there's some
- 33:02kind of narrative about that. We're going to give you a
- 33:05different narrative. You also have this like great
- 33:07group of friends and you're like, hey, let's all get
- 33:09together in the desert and ride bikes like give us annual boys
- 33:12camping trip. Let's do it this weekend.
- 33:14No, I can't I got to do this for my wife or no, I can't.
- 33:16I got to do this or my kids or whatever.
- 33:19And then and you're like, OK, what about this date?
- 33:20And you guys are always trying to negotiate.
- 33:22And it took you like 10 years to figure out no more negotiation.
- 33:25You pick the day and say, I'm going to the desert, I'm riding
- 33:28bikes. This is the weekend.
- 33:30You either come or not. You leave through it.
- 33:32And then they all end up, all of them end up making it happen.
- 33:37That's what I want at the dinner table.
- 33:39But I don't care what they think.
- 33:41At the dinner table. OK I OK I have a suggestion.
- 33:45So there is an app that. Tech is going to solve this.
- 33:49So tech can help solve. This is this like round.
- 33:52Robin Yeah, the millennials or whatever.
- 33:55Stop Pizza. Are you a millennial?
- 33:57Are you a Gen. Z?
- 33:58Or like, what are you? He's 35.
- 34:00There's a lot going on right now.
- 34:01Sorry, I'm a. Millennial than Andy, older than
- 34:04Andy. I do a lot of stereotypes about
- 34:08I shouldn't anymore. I'm learning so.
- 34:11It does kind of make the show interesting though, so just keep
- 34:13going on with it. What's your app?
- 34:15The app that already exists is 2 people want to watch a movie
- 34:18tonight and the app will serve the 2 users a bunch of movies
- 34:24and they say yes or no to the movies then at the end of the
- 34:29day. Movies.
- 34:30At the end of the day, both people get alerted which movies
- 34:33the other person said that they would watch tonight.
- 34:35Oh my gosh, what is this app? Okay, I need this right now I.
- 34:39Don't know the name of the app, I've only.
- 34:41Maybe they'll sponsor. Maybe they'll be a.
- 34:43Sponsor. So here's here's the solution.
- 34:4625,000. By the way.
- 34:49So here's the solution. OK, the solution is it's the
- 34:51same app, but you get asked after the last meal you ate.
- 34:55So if it was lunch, what do you want for dinner tonight?
- 34:58And then you get served a bunch of basically.
- 35:01Like right after you're full no. No, but like basically you don't
- 35:04get asked for breakfast what you want for.
- 35:05Lunch, OK, that's a good one out with my dad.
- 35:07So I was like OK do. We got finished lunch.
- 35:10What? Are we doing for dinner?
- 35:11Yeah, it's. Actually, you're kind of like,
- 35:13oh, it's starting to be like meal time and here are your
- 35:16options because you either at the beginning of the week, you
- 35:18put what's in your fridge or you say tonight's take out night,
- 35:22here are the options. And then you don't have to talk
- 35:25to each other as the people. You basically get served options
- 35:29by the app. Hey, here's what the options
- 35:31are. Then you say yes or no, and then
- 35:33at the end of the day you get served, no pun intended.
- 35:37Wait, this doesn't exist though yet?
- 35:39I have not. Heard, no, but I'm going to go.
- 35:42We're going to go right now. Yeah, yeah, This is trademarked.
- 35:45This trademark now. Yeah, this is trademarked all
- 35:48business. I mean, here's the good news.
- 35:50We've been married for 20 years and this did not break the
- 35:52marriage. And so we're going to be married
- 35:54for. Humble Brig.
- 35:55A lot of people again. We've only been married 19
- 35:59years, Yeah. Well, some of us aren't so
- 36:01lucky. Optimistic.
- 36:03Anyway, I'm just saying. Don't count all your tickets.
- 36:06We're going to be OK, yeah. I believe it.
- 36:09I think you guys are going to make it to 20 we're.
- 36:12Going. To make it to 20, I think you, I
- 36:15think you guys are going to make it 6 more months.
- 36:17I think you got it. Cheers.
- 36:19Cheers you. Yet so it's OK.
- 36:28Everyone is looking for an advantage in their marketing
- 36:30that they can digest in a clear, fun format.
- 36:34Well, there's one podcast I want to tell you about that's
- 36:37changing the game. It's called Your Audience is
- 36:39Waiting and it's for business leaders who are done with
- 36:42surface level marketing advice. Hosted by visibility and content
- 36:47strategist Alicia Everett, this isn't a show about posting more
- 36:51content. It's about aligning your
- 36:52visibility strategy with actual business goals and revenue.
- 36:56Alicia helps CE OS founders and Ready to Scale business owners
- 37:01build strategic visibility ecosystems that position you as
- 37:05the authority in your space and convert attention into
- 37:08customers. Real frameworks, real ROI Clay,
- 37:12that's return on investment. So if you're leading a business
- 37:16and you want to grow, go subscribe to your Audiences
- 37:19Waiting wherever you listen to podcasts.
- 37:25I would like to ask a question about the podcast.
- 37:29So we do know that both Nick and Scott listen, watch, support the
- 37:34podcast. So this is a question not just
- 37:37from the two of you, it's from me too.
- 37:39What do you like about the show? What's going good and what would
- 37:43make the show better? I want to commend you for
- 37:48wrangling these ladies. They.
- 37:52So what's going good is the guy on the show.
- 37:55They are. Gosh, you're.
- 37:57Right, Heather? Wow.
- 37:58Yeah, he can't. Even keep his chair quiet over
- 38:01there. I, I will say that I will say
- 38:04that you guys have so much fun on the podcast that I wish the
- 38:09podcast was two hours long. What?
- 38:12Because I would like to listen to an hour and a half of the
- 38:16guest. So basically it's like either
- 38:22you shut up or I love the gas. Well, no, but I like your, like
- 38:26your your your banter is so awesome.
- 38:28Everything about it is so fun. I get and I and after
- 38:33participating in it, I recognize that like you, it's really fun
- 38:38to watch y'all talk, but I feel bad for I don't feel bad for us
- 38:42because we we've dealt with you for the whole.
- 38:44Existence we've. Been dealing, we've been dealing
- 38:46with you forever. But I think that like, I think
- 38:48sometimes I'm like some of the guests I'm like, oh, I think I
- 38:51only heard him talk for 20 minutes or 10 minutes.
- 38:54I'm like, I, I think the podcast was an hour.
- 38:56Did I just listen? And I'm like, I enjoy it, but I
- 38:59miss them anyway. I don't know it's true.
- 39:02That's but and I and I, every time I and I observe clay, like
- 39:05trying to wrangle y'all, Yeah, and get it all back into place.
- 39:09He's got his work cut out for him.
- 39:10That's for damn. And I love it.
- 39:12I love it. That's that whole dynamic is
- 39:13fun. I.
- 39:14Was gonna say the opposite. OK, good.
- 39:16I was gonna say I I want I want the I was gonna agree.
- 39:18I want the podcast longer, but that's because I want more of
- 39:20you 2 talking. That's really yeah yeah, I love
- 39:24the guests. The guests are great.
- 39:25No angry guests in here. I'm.
- 39:26Team Neck, thank you. Yeah, but I, I love that you're
- 39:30talking and I wish it was longer.
- 39:32I wish it was longer. I think, you know, what I love
- 39:35about it is the, the sex ad for business that Blakely I think
- 39:38said right from the beginning. I, I love that.
- 39:39It's like, let's get it. Look, you know, when you work in
- 39:42business, whether it's a small or a big corporation, there's
- 39:46just a lot of bullshit, right that gets said and everyone has
- 39:48to kind of nod each other and be like, absolutely, I agree with
- 39:51this thing. And no one wants to talk about
- 39:53the actual reality of of what is a complex, multi layered
- 39:59situation that doesn't have an easy yes or no.
- 40:01And look in the corporation that you typically don't get to have
- 40:05that kind of layered, nuanced opinion on something.
- 40:07So I love that you get to, you know, bring that up in this kind
- 40:10of group. Do you see like as, because I
- 40:14mean we're just starting out like we haven't like fully
- 40:16outlined a whole go to market plan and like our ideal customer
- 40:19profile and all that because we weren't really sure who it was
- 40:21going to resonate with and it was a T.
- 40:22MICP go to. Market ICP, Yeah.
- 40:25I wasn't really sure whether male guests would listen.
- 40:29And we actually have quite a few, which is surprising me
- 40:32because I, I thought just because of you and I are the
- 40:35same, you know, women mid whatever, like mid 30s, like
- 40:40obviously. So I just thought that that
- 40:42would focus on my gravitate toward a certain audience.
- 40:46But I've been surprised, yeah. By a lot of man listeners.
- 40:49Yes, I and so I. Wonder it just.
- 40:51Doesn't help when you say man listener, man guest.
- 40:54Every time can you guys? Back me up on that.
- 40:56Just like I had. Someone ask me when our first
- 41:00man guest was going to be. I think.
- 41:02It's us, by the way. I was.
- 41:04Going to well, I was going to say that like what's what you
- 41:07guys have brought to us individually that you're trying
- 41:13to also bring through the podcast, which is what I like,
- 41:16which is that like for the Pat, like for the last 10 years of my
- 41:21job at IBM, I was I was mentoring young women in many
- 41:27cases and. There's not a way to say it.
- 41:30There isn't a creepy way there. Really isn't, yeah.
- 41:35There were young. Women on my team and I ended up
- 41:38and I was the old dude who was like, no, you shouldn't
- 41:42volunteer to take the notes. The minute.
- 41:44Stop, stop. And I would have to and I would
- 41:47have conversations with them about their development or what,
- 41:50or, or about being a good programmer and I'd go, oh, don't
- 41:54volunteer. When I don't volunteer, it's
- 41:57because I don't want to do it. And if you don't want to do it,
- 42:01don't volunteer. And you don't.
- 42:02Want to do it? Nobody.
- 42:03Wants to do it. Make the manager assign one of
- 42:07us to do it. So where did that come from?
- 42:08Did that come from your relationship with Blakely?
- 42:10Were you raised with that? No, I think it's a lot.
- 42:13I think part of it was is like observing like Blakely's like
- 42:17like life in the workforce and like seeing what a woman's going
- 42:21through in the workforce and going, Oh, I'm not participating
- 42:24in that. I'm going to go a different way
- 42:26and I'm going to try to help all these other women.
- 42:28And that was super fun to be like, like I had these just so
- 42:33many great, like great people I worked with and they and like,
- 42:38but I would be like, my wife's awesome and my wife would tell
- 42:42you to do this. This is what she would say.
- 42:45And so like, don't like, she's good.
- 42:49Don't like, you can be good. You're going to be great.
- 42:52Do this. Don't fucking take notes.
- 42:55Don't do this unless you want to, like unless it's assigned
- 42:58like whatever. And there was a lot of other
- 43:00things that I talked about. To what Nick said and like
- 43:03liking the sex Ed part and when we mean when we say sex Ed, we
- 43:08mean is like all that Sticky said like all the questions
- 43:10you're like too afraid to ask, right.
- 43:12That happened in the workplace. And I I think that is such a
- 43:17great example of a sticky situation where women are
- 43:22assumed to be the good minute takers that organize and we are
- 43:25often I get it. We are it doesn't mean we need
- 43:28to take it. I love your advice.
- 43:32A manager should assign it and it, you know, right, it gets, it
- 43:36gets to be part of your job, not like an extra thing that you do
- 43:40well and then you're stressed because you're bringing that
- 43:43home and you're bringing this home and this home because
- 43:45you're good at it. Like that's not how it works,
- 43:47you know? And I think that's the, that's
- 43:49the nuance is that you ask me to do it, I'll do it 100%.
- 43:53I'll do it once I'm asked, but I'm not volunteering for it like
- 43:56but there's you asked me to move.
- 44:03That's OK. So but that's but I think that
- 44:05nuance is interesting and like how we that's interesting how we
- 44:09manage it, no. That's really good and good for
- 44:11you for being willing to lead to the next generation that way and
- 44:15empower them because it is different.
- 44:17I mean for them to hear that from you and referring to your
- 44:21successful wife, that's not only inspiring to them, they feel
- 44:24taken care of in that they feel permission.
- 44:26So it's really good. And if you wouldn't have been
- 44:28aware enough to understand or even notice that, which so many
- 44:32people aren't. And that's part of what we're
- 44:34trying to do. We're just trying to raise the
- 44:35awareness of this is our reality.
- 44:37So we're not blaming anybody for it.
- 44:39We're just saying this is what we've lived through.
- 44:42This is what's still happening in so many ways.
- 44:44And so let's just call it out. And it's not about blaming.
- 44:47It's just about saying, you know what, that's not OK.
- 44:50And here's another way. To deal with it, here's another
- 44:53way that's better. If it's we're not, they're all
- 44:56the hurdles have not been solved yet, you know, but that's all.
- 45:01We have more to do, more sticky situations, more sticky.
- 45:05Situations. That is why we're here.
- 45:06Right. Now that is the impetus, the
- 45:10right word. That's a good word it.
- 45:12Is the right word or? The podcast, because we're not
- 45:16here to maybe solve that issue. We don't have the hubris, man.
- 45:21I'm just on fire. You are on fire.
- 45:25Someone was looking at his Latin roots before this.
- 45:28OK, OK. We're not.
- 45:31We don't have the hubris to think that we can solve the
- 45:32problem alone. That's why we're going out
- 45:35asking people, what do you think?
- 45:37We're hopefully at our best shedding light and hearing
- 45:43people's stories, getting great guests on the show to come in
- 45:48and say here, here's my perspective, here's how I see
- 45:51it. And for our listeners and our
- 45:53viewers, for them to connect with one person for one second
- 45:59of what they said would mean everything.
- 46:01And Heather says it so often, but she's like, where this is,
- 46:05this movement is happening. And we're like, we don't know
- 46:09exactly what it is yet, but we're trying to find out.
- 46:12And that's what I find exciting about the show.
- 46:14That's what I find exciting. So this whole conversation has
- 46:17been so enlightening to be able to listen to and be part of and
- 46:21facilitate. I mean, every now and then I'd
- 46:24be like, Oh yeah, is everything like, can we hear everybody
- 46:26like. You know, just double.
- 46:27Checking everything I've. Been you're like diving in.
- 46:30Yeah, but Heather, why don't you wrap the show?
- 46:34OK. Interact are you?
- 46:36Going to. Wrap.
- 46:37Yeah, you want you want a freestyle.
- 46:39I really don't, right? I did.
- 46:41Yeah, no, Yeah. So the rap we kind of covered
- 46:46too many all of our situations, but I want to thank you for
- 46:56hugging me when I come home after a really long day and just
- 47:00being that person because on camera, off camera stress, it's
- 47:07a lot and trying to do a movement like Clay said, it's a
- 47:12lot. It's worthy and I'm up for it
- 47:18and thank you for being up for it with me.
- 47:21But there is a purpose here and this is live.
- 47:24This is 2025 live problems that we still are facing.
- 47:29This isn't 1950, issues like this is still today and.
- 47:33We have to raise men and. Women and women through it.
- 47:38And so it's a lot to carry. And so I feel like I can be
- 47:42strong out there in the world. And so thank you for being my
- 47:47safe place that I can come home to and be eating out of a can of
- 47:52tuna and oyster crackers. And you just laugh and you give
- 47:57me the sweetest hug and you make me a proper meal.
- 47:59And I just really, I couldn't do it without you.
- 48:02So thank you. I love you too.
- 48:06OK, but you were also supposed to.
- 48:08That was my wrap of the show, Clay.
- 48:10OK, you were. That was very sweet.
- 48:12But you also have a responsibility to wrap the show.
- 48:16That was it. I was wanted to say thank you.
- 48:19Are we going to do smiles? It's our tradition.
- 48:24OK, fine. So after I thanked you.
- 48:26OK, so we have a tradition here at the podcast where we ask our
- 48:31guests a question and we answer also ourselves, which is what
- 48:35brought a smile to your face this week.
- 48:38Well, I I will say something that's pretty great is my son is
- 48:43the lead in his musical. He's 13 and he is the, he's
- 48:48Harold Hill in the music man, his favorite musical, which
- 48:51cause most 13 year olds have a favorite musical.
- 48:55And, and this is tech week and I took him to school this morning
- 48:59and he got in the car and he was very quiet, which is unusual.
- 49:02And I was like, hey, man, you, how you feeling?
- 49:04You're doing good. And he's like, I'm on vocal
- 49:08rest. And I said, oh, of course,
- 49:13absolutely. You're on vocal rest.
- 49:14Absolutely. And and then I spent the whole
- 49:19like 15 minute drive trying to get him still because I was
- 49:21like, come on man. You know, I was like, yeah, what
- 49:23about, you know, that game? And Nope, he, he was so
- 49:26dedicated to his craft. He just sat there in silence
- 49:30just resting his instrument. Yes.
- 49:34So he is going to kill it this week on Friday on his premiere.
- 49:38So I'm excited for that. I brought a smile on my face.
- 49:41Also, my daughter's the lead in her musical too, but that's in
- 49:42April. But I only get one of these
- 49:44podcasts, so I'm just going to call that out too.
- 49:46Wow. Yeah, way to balance it out.
- 49:48Yeah, a lot. Of music.
- 49:49A lot of no, they're going to listen to this.
- 49:51Podcast. Yeah, it is a lot of music in
- 49:53the house. Hell, at one time, yeah, they
- 49:57all sing at the same time, their own songs in their own musicals,
- 50:00Nick included. So.
- 50:03But, you know, it's just one of the joys of my new life.
- 50:07Yeah. What do you got?
- 50:08I think I really enjoyed getting my prep notes for this and like
- 50:15reflecting on all the questions and thinking about it.
- 50:17It was fun. It was fun to think about.
- 50:20Like it's fun to think about 20 plus years of like being
- 50:25involved in this kind of stuff and it was fun.
- 50:27It gave me a smile to just like think about our relationship and
- 50:31the whole thing and the whole struggles and and the fun of it.
- 50:35The. Fun of it my smile the week is
- 50:40not going to be what you think. So as listeners know and how
- 50:43they're especially I have a little known condition called
- 50:48misophonia. And it's a real like some
- 50:52misophonia is when like noises cause rage and you want to like
- 50:55punch holes in the wall. And this past week our son asked
- 51:00to host a house show, a punk emo house show and our house.
- 51:08And that's fine. Like that actually is a happy
- 51:10ending. That's not going to be my story.
- 51:11That'll be a story for another time.
- 51:13But what I didn't expect was they had a rehearsal day and we
- 51:17were trying to clean the house. And also we were hosting another
- 51:20party. So we had a party from three to
- 51:22seven, and the house show was 710.
- 51:25But from 11 AM to like, 3:00 PM, here's what was going on.
- 51:32My son and his band were in the basement with no insulation,
- 51:36like banging drums and screaming and yelling and, like,
- 51:40rehearsing for their punk show. And then the rec center across
- 51:44the street had their septic bust rose.
- 51:47Yes. And so.
- 51:48Everywhere. I don't know.
- 51:50I wasn't since. This.
- 51:52Shit. Was just.
- 51:53Loud. It was like a club going like
- 51:57like just like the septic pump and like our daughter like has
- 52:01some needs. And never noticed.
- 52:02Dogs were barking and they were barking at the neighbors and all
- 52:05this was happening and Scott was in the kitchen cooking
- 52:10enchiladas was the party. And he was like enchiladas.
- 52:16And I like, in that moment, I'm like, there's like, one more
- 52:23noise I could like handle. And Lula comes in and she's
- 52:26like, do you ever realize, like Dad hums when he's by himself?
- 52:33And it's just like. That's why he's so damn happy.
- 52:35Nothing bothers this guy, it just.
- 52:37Took the misophonia away for a minute because I just
- 52:40concentrated. I mean, I don't want you humming
- 52:42too much. Don't get me wrong.
- 52:45Don't get crazy. Like smile and realize like it's
- 52:48OK. Like the noise is OK.
- 52:50Like he finds peace in the humming and he can tune out.
- 52:54Punk and septic and dog barking I can do.
- 52:57That's good. That was really sweet.
- 53:04I already did my smile. Yes, you did, girl, and it was
- 53:07beautiful and we all had some tears on that one.
- 53:10That was my smile. That was pretty.
- 53:11Yeah. All right, Clay, bring us home.
- 53:13All right. I've had an amazing few days
- 53:16where I've been the welcomed guest into both of your homes.
- 53:21And my trip got started off by I showed up at Heather's house and
- 53:26she had changed the the lights, the LED lights on the outside of
- 53:30her house to the Detroit Lions colors.
- 53:34That's so cool. Good.
- 53:36On you. Then I got to play Nick's
- 53:39guitars. He said I want you to play, so I
- 53:44got to play his guitars. Then he made me an amazing
- 53:46breakfast and taught me a life lesson in the morning which was
- 53:49incredible. Don't eat the eggs out of the
- 53:52ass. That's right.
- 53:53That's the one. OK.
- 53:54OK, it's it. We'll talk about another
- 53:56episode. It's so good.
- 53:58It's so good. Yeah.
- 54:00Then I got to show up at Blakely and Scott's house and be the one
- 54:06who gets like a hug at the door too.
- 54:10And then like, hey, like, let me give you the tour and what do
- 54:13you want to eat and all of that. But then I got to sit at the
- 54:20dinner table with you. And it is an amazing thing to be
- 54:25a guest and to be asked questions about your life.
- 54:28And I got to share basically my entire life story last night.
- 54:34And I was so honored because all of the questions that you asked
- 54:40were I knew that you had listened to what I had just said
- 54:43and you were curious about more active listening.
- 54:46That was so amazing to be asked questions about my life and be
- 54:50able to share. So I felt very welcomed in both
- 54:53of your homes. And it was really fun.
- 54:55And then we listened to music last night and had conversations
- 54:57about music and Detroit and all stuff.
- 54:59It was so cool. So my smile this week was just
- 55:02to be like man I feel like 1,000,000 bucks so.
- 55:06We need more in person, Clay. Yeah.
- 55:08We do more in person. Clay agreed.
- 55:10I agree with that. Producer desk it's days.
- 55:14Pull you away from. Yeah, you might need a new.
- 55:17So if you'd like to sponsor a clay visit, just dial 1800
- 55:20Sponsor Clay. OK, so speaking, so Speaking of
- 55:24which, let's wrap the show. Yeah.
- 55:25Where can people find us? How can they support us?
- 55:29All right, it's getting hot in here, y'all.
- 55:31It's it's it's tight. 55 people in a 9 by 12 space.
- 55:36Thank you, Blakely. The studio is awesome.
- 55:38Yeah, and great. Thank you.
- 55:39Scott Soundproofing. Thanks for coming.
- 55:42The neighbors can't hear us. You guys can do all kinds of
- 55:45things in the studio. I don't you.
- 55:48Got next slide. Clear the desk.
- 55:50Yeah, clear the desk. Clear hashtag clear the desk.
- 55:53It was pretty clear. Let's OK, we've got clear the
- 55:55desk. That's another one.
- 55:57Do it in the studio your. Correction.
- 56:00Snap your correction and smash that.
- 56:02Subscribe Finance your merch request 20 Oh God that was
- 56:05gross. I was like winking at the
- 56:07camera. Done.
- 56:08And using your and using your finger gun.
- 56:10All right, and we're gonna go out on sexy Blakely to the
- 56:12holidays. We will see you next week.
- 56:16Go no Bella.