Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / 🎙️ Beyond Yourself 4/7: Don't Play Small. Time To Bet On You.#TrustYourselfThursday

Transcript

🎙️ Beyond Yourself 4/7: Don't Play Small. Time To Bet On You.#TrustYourselfThursday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Greetings and welcome Welcome back to the Sweet Spot.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Today is Trust Yourself Thursday on the Sweet Spot, and we are going to be diving into the power of giving and how it relates to trust.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: You don't know me.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: My background is in psychiatry.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I'm a board certified sports and performance psychiatrist who's helped hundreds of athletes with their instincts around trust and performance.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: I've guided many top performers to believe in themselves.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I've also worked with many top executives and other passionate individuals like yourself, who are committed to excellence, committed to becoming their best selves every day and always, always, always, as we all are in a pursuit of living the life we love.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Today, we're diving into this deep connection, as I mentioned, between the power of giving and trust, giving and trust.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Ralph Waldo Emerson, one of my favorite authors, called trust the first secret of success.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Warren Buffett once said that trust is like the air we breathe when it's present, nobody really notices.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: When it's absent, everybody notices.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: And isn't that the truth?
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: But here's what's fascinating Recent neuroscience research has discovered that trust is directly connected to our capacity to give, and that's pretty surprising.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Right when we give, when we give anything our time, our attention, our effort our brains actually release a neurotransmitter called oxytocin, and oxytocin is often called the trust hormone.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's called the love hormone as well.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: It's like our biology is telling us that there's something powerful happening in our bodies when we give, so that giving and trust are essentially two sides of the same coin from a neurobiological or neurochemistry perspective, and that's fascinating.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I believe it's really good to know what's going on in our bodies when we take certain actions and, conversely, when we do things that are not healthy, the wrong kinds of neurotransmitters get privileged, and that's also an issue.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: But let's stay on track.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Today I'm not going to get into a huge neurobiological talk with you.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: That's for another time.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: We're talking today about the power of trust and the power of giving, and here's where it gets interesting.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Trust, it's not just about confidence or reliability.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: At its core, what trust is is a willingness to be vulnerable, vulnerable in conditions of uncertainty.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: It's giving yourself and others permission to be human, and that can be challenging.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: If you ever have to really trust someone, or if you've had your trust broken, you understand how fragile and vulnerable we are around trust.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Think about it, though this way we need trust.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: We need trust just as we need clean air to breathe.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: We need trust in order to thrive as being human.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: And just like the air quality, we can improve trust, our trust environment, through conscious action, through the trust and giving cycle.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: That's what I like to call it.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: It starts with giving yourself trust first, right.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: So in the trust giving cycle, we always come back to ourselves, small acts of self-trust.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Where can I trust myself?
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Where can I keep a promise to myself?
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Where can I honor myself?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Where can I keep a promise to myself?
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Where can I honor my own boundaries?
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Where can I give myself some grace if I stumble?
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: These kinds of actions, though small and self-directed, they can create a personal atmosphere of trust around us.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: If we don't trust ourselves and we can't give trust to ourselves, it's going to be very difficult to trust others.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: If we can't forgive ourselves, also for little mistakes or errors, then it's also going to be difficult to give that to someone else.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: And this is the power of giving.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: This whole week we've been talking about giving.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: So if you can't give yourself trust or give yourself forgiveness, how do you expect to forgive someone else?
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Make sense, I know it does so, okay.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Trust, then, is like opening a window to let fresh air in.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Right, when you open the window, you're letting the fresh air in, just like when you extend trust to someone else.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: You're allowing that fresh air in.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: And the research shows something remarkable that people, teams and individuals who give credit, who share recognition, who offer significant levels of trust and allow that air to come into the atmosphere, end up being happier and more fulfilled individuals, and that makes so much sense.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: But here's what I tell the athletes that I work with, or the executives.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I say this just like you can't hold your breath forever.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: You can't withhold trust and expect to perform at your peak.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: You can't be a completely non-trusting person and expect the air around you to keep flowing.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: It actually stifles you.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: When you trust no one and you have absolutely no trust in you.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: It becomes a prison.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: It may keep you safe, but it also keeps others away from you.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: You end up being alone and bitter and hard and nothing works right.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: So we want to build trust.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Even if we've been hurt, we want to heal and take the steps to heal, talk to the right people and rebuild trust, because we live in an interdependent world where we need each other.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: No man, no woman is an island right.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: So tomorrow, try this.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow I challenge you to give yourself one moment of complete trust.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Notice that I said give yourself.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: I really want you to focus on that today, because by giving it to ourselves right, we become filled with more trust, more of a capacity to trust.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's trusting your instincts on a decision that you have to make.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's trusting that you are doing your best in a current situation.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Once you've identified where you can really trust yourself and acknowledge where you're trusting, then, and only then, I'd like you to give that same trust to someone else, not because they've earned it.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I know there's a big thing about trust is earned and I kind of believe that.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: But today I'm asking you to just give that trust to someone else, not because they've earned it, but because giving trust is how we create an atmosphere where trust can grow.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: That you're going to be that kind of person today and then remember that every breath of trust that you give to yourself and others makes the air cleaner for everyone and just like breathing, the more you practice, the more you do it, the more natural it becomes.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Natural it becomes Until next time.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I'm inviting you to keep trusting and keep giving.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Put yourself in that sweet spot today.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, now, this is Dr Sweet.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: I'll see you tomorrow, tomorrow's Friday, but it's not just any Friday, it is Finish Strong Friday.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: All right, power of giving and finishing strong.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Let's see what we got Love and blessings.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Take care, if you found value in today's message, follow me on performance mindset and living your best life.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.