Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Restorative Practice Secrets 5/7: From Mistakes to Motivation to Finish Strong

Transcript

Restorative Practice Secrets 5/7: From Mistakes to Motivation to Finish Strong · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Sweet Spot where science meets soul.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: It's finished strong Friday and we're closing our week with the most powerful R of restorative practices reintegration Not just bouncing back, bouncing forward, bouncing forward.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I'm Dr Derek Sweet, a board-certified psychiatrist specializing in high performance and sports psychiatry.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: I work with elite athletes and executives to unlock their full potential.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: So let me take you inside of a powerful reintegration story.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: A college basketball conference semifinals.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: A star point guard breaks the team's curfew the night before the game to attend.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: A party Boy shows up to the game unfocused the next day, turns the ball over seven times.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Team loses by two.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Not just any loss here.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: It ends their NCAA tournament hopes.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: His teammates won't even look at him in the locker room.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Talk about being pissed off.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: This was just about one mistake.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: This was about broken trust, damaged relationships and a young athlete who needed to understand how his actions impacted everyone around him.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: But here's where the power of restorative practices changed everything.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Fortunately, this coach was restorative practices mindful and in talking to me, he was open to using a non-punitive approach to help this athlete learn and grow from this situation.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: So we went right into it and by now you've been talking with me all week on the Sweet Spot around restorative practices.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: So you know, I went in with the first R, which was relationship.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: So I started by having him meet individually with each teammate, not to defend himself, but to listen.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: His senior co-captain shared something powerful.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: He said it's not just the loss, man, it's that you chose yourself over us, over everything.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: We worked for all season.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: And then I used the second R responsibility.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Instead of just apologizing, he had to take full ownership here for this to work.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: So I organized a team meeting where he stood up and he said it Listen, man, I disrespected our team's values.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: I put my wants above our needs.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: He said it.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I basically threw away all of the work we did, everybody.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this was selfish on my part.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: So he was using responsibility in a powerful way.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: And then, of course, the third R was respect.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: That we've talked about, and this was crucial.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: He had to show respect for the team's protocols.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: He had to understand that he disrespected his teammates' dedication and their hard work.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: But first he had to rebuild respect for somebody else himself and by committing to respecting himself, he had to commit to change.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: He had to be the first one at practice going forward and the last one to leave.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Every day he had to demonstrate that respect to himself and then to everybody else.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: And then the fourth R in our restorative practices week that we've been talking about here was repair Repair Actions, not words.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: So he had to create a personal accountability system with three senior players and figure that out, and we made that happen.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: He had to volunteer to run some extra conditioning sessions.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: He had to participate in additional film study.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: He had to start mentoring somebody else to show them how not to be in that situation.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Those were some of the ideas that we organized and implemented.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: And finally, reintegration.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: After he did all the other R's right.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: So he managed the relationships, he took responsibility, he showed respect, he did what he had to do to repair.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: And now it was about reintegration right, and this wasn't just about getting back into the good graces of the team, it was about coming back as a stronger leader.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: So we created some specific steps using a restorative approach.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: So in phase one we gave what we called individual growth markers right.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: He had to do daily leadership journaling.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: He had to journal every day.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: He had to do weekly check-ins with the captains and then, of course, regular sessions with yours truly focusing on his decision-making.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Then in phase two, we had to do some team trust rebuilding, where we had to have some team discussions about accountability, the protocols, how was he doing, and really making sure that he was getting support, not just being pointed fingers pointed at him from the team, and that was an important part of it.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: When we finished with all of that, we were able to see a major change.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: The following season, as a senior, he was actually named team captain believe it or not, unanimously, because of how amazingly well he did with this and he had zero team disciplinary issues.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: He had an excellent GPA.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: He really showed real transformation and two years later he came back as a graduate assistant coach now and today he runs leadership programs for young athletes, teaching them what he learned about responsibility and reintegration.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: And that's what's possible in restorative practice, because, you see, he could have just been suspended and just kicked it to the curb and learned his lesson and moved on, but because he went through this restorative practice program and protocol, wow, he became a transformed individual.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: So this is Finish Strong Friday and this is the challenge I'm leaving with you Identify someone who needs reintegration Maybe it's you, maybe it's a teammate or a colleague, somebody and then create safety.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Make it clear that mistakes don't define us.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: That doesn't define the person.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Build a process for them, help them develop some steps for learning and growing and getting back into the good graces, and help them transform Because, remember, reintegration isn't just about getting back in the game or getting back in the family or the group.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: It's about coming back stronger, wiser, a changed individual, ready to go to your next level.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: That's what this is about.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: So this week we have covered restorative practices.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: We've explored how relationships build trust.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: We've explored how respect creates understanding, how responsibility drives ownership and repair strengthens bonds.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: And now here on Finish Strong Friday, we're seeing how reintegration can transform a setback into a comeback.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: This is, dr Sweet.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening this week.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow is self-care Saturday and we're going to dive into just sort of into reintegrating and reorganizing all of this so it makes more sense, and then we'll be rocking and rolling.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Please join me on Instagram, on Twitter, on YouTube I'm there too and LinkedIn.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: God bless you and I'll see you soon.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Bye-bye.