Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 604: Why Silence Will Always Work On Your Ex

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Episode 604: Why Silence Will Always Work On Your Ex · The Art of Love With Lucia

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  Hi. This is the cheer with the art
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  of love. I'm a dating and relationship.
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  Experts specializing in helping you get your ex back or to get
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  over your ex this week. I want to talk about why silence
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  will always work on an ex when I'm talking to my coaching
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  clients, one of the questions that most of them ask is what
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  can I do? We're so used to taking action
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  that we think we need to do something in order to get
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  someone back. Back.
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  And that is the mistake that most people make.
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  When they are trying to get an ex back, they do too much.
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  When an Essence, they should be doing, basically nothing.
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  And that's hard for people to comprehend and follow through
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  with. They don't not understand the
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  power of Silence. So, that's what I want to talk
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  about today. But first, I want to welcome
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  back my beautiful, no contact Army.
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  Speaking of Silence, have you downloaded my app silencio,
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  which means silence in There's a reason I called it silencio, I
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  didn't call it the no contact app.
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  I call it silencio because silence is important.
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  So if you haven't yet, then the link is underneath every single
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  video and podcast and it is available in Android and iPhone.
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  And if you two would like to join our no contact Army, all
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  you have to do is hit the Subscribe button and the bell
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  notification and you're in enter M, our manual, go to no contact,
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  secrets.com where you can read to free chapters before Seeing
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  the book, okay, so if you've been listening to this channel,
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  you know that no contact involves Silence, of course, but
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  the science I'm talking about. Also, involves remaining silent
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  until your ex does or says something significant and most
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  people have a hard time with this because they are in their
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  fearful brain instead of their logical brain.
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  So the ask questions like is my ex going to forget me, which I'm
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  sorry, that just makes me laugh. Nothing personal and I've done a
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  video on. That's why I put the link up in
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  the right-hand corner on YouTube or they say I'm afraid, they're
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  going to meet someone new well good.
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  Then they can compare the new person to you and if you were a
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  great partner, they'll realize that you must that they messed
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  up. And, you know, there was someone
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  that I had a casual relationship once and all of a sudden, he
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  disappeared. Well, guess who showed up, three
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  months later saying they missed me.
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  So I'm assuming he was trying to replace me in those three months
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  and he wasn't successful and he came back, you know, otherwise
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  he wouldn't come back. And of course, I was silent the
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  entire time. I did absolutely nothing to try
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  to get him back. He tried to replace me, didn't
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  work. Now, I'm sure you've heard that
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  the majority of communication is nonverbal.
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  And I'm not going to give you a percentage, because I've heard
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  so many different statistics in terms of what percentage it is.
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  So it's 75, 80, 85, whatever. Just know that it's high.
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  So that's exactly what you're doing with no contact.
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  You think that you're not communicating but meanwhile you
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  are communicating very strongly, you're communicating with your
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  silence and what you're communicating is that you're not
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  going to chase them, you're accepting the breakup and maybe
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  you know what, maybe you're even moving on.
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  So your silence leaves a void that they fill in with their
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  imagination. So they may believe that one or
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  more of those things could be true.
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  When they broke up with you, they were sure that you would
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  always be an option since they wanted The Break-Up not you and
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  when you're silent and you don't reach out, you don't watch their
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  stories. You don't respond to their phone
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  calls. You don't respond to their text.
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  Unless it's significant, you will disappear.
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  Use them of the notion that you're still an option.
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  You're sending us silent message that if they want you back, they
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  better step up to the plate and say something.
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  Aunt. And for those of you who are so
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  afraid to wait for your ex to say something significant, I can
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  tell you that I was once talking to this guy for about three or
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  four days and then it took him three days to respond to my last
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  message. And so when he finally did
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  respond, I left him on read because I was turned off.
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  It does not take three days to respond to a text.
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  Okay. Remember you teach people how to
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  retreat you if I had responded? It would have sent the message
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  that he could. Take his time.
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  Getting back to me any old time. You felt like it.
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  Someone who's interested in. You is not going to take 3 days
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  to get back to you. They wouldn't even be able to
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  because there'd be they'd be so excited to talk to you and keep
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  the conversation going. So I took the chance that I
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  would never hear from him again. If I left him on red, well, it
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  took five weeks and he finally reached out saying that it broke
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  his heart that I left him on red sounds a little no dramatic
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  whatever. But okay he did reach out with a
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  significant message to which I responded.
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  So if someone that I had never met, I had only chatted with for
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  three or four days can leave a significant message when I
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  ghosted him. If your ex who you had some type
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  of relationship with who you had met, I'm assuming I'm sure
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  they're able to leave a significant message when you're
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  silent if they want to, okay? Silence is the Only way, the
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  only way to reverse the power Dynamic and show them that.
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  No, you're not an option. As I said before by being
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  silent, you're making your ex contact.
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  You even if it's just to find out why the heck you're not
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  chasing them because they've probably been through breakups
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  before and they know that often the person being dumped is going
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  to chase and when you don't build wonder, why not?
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  So as time goes by the things that you were worried about
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  regarding your ex, whether they were dating, someone else,
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  whether they would reach out, Whether they had moved on,
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  they're going to start to have the same thoughts about you and
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  whereas you may have been anxious at the beginning of The
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  Break-Up as time goes by and your ex loses.
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  The certainty that they can get you back.
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  They are the ones who become more anxious just as you are
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  becoming less anxious. And this is when they will start
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  with the bread crumbing and why I'm so adamant about not
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  responding to bread crumbing because you are taking away
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  their anxiety and without anxiety.
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  They could not start to think about contacting you and about
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  wanting to get back together. So you've heard the saying
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  science is golden and what it means is that it's often better
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  to say nothing than to speak and this can be especially true when
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  speaking about a breakup as speaking could cause more harm
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  than good. Science shows, patience and
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  restraint and those are two qualities that everyone admires
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  in a romantic partner. So remember your absence and
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  your silence? Have more power than your
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  actions and your words. When it comes to getting an ex
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  back silence, raises interest level and raising your ex's.
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  Interest is the first step in getting them to contact you and
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  getting them back. Okay, so now I want to hear from
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  you, have you downloaded my app silencio and has it helped you
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  to stay no contact and if you haven't downloaded it I be
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  interested to know why not. Let me know in the comments
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  below and in the meantime if you would like my help too.
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  Get your ex back. You can contact me at the art of
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  love dotnet and we will send you the rates, the direct link to
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  that is below every single video and podcast.
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  If you found this video helpful, please like subscribe and share
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  so that other people can help can find it and we can help
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  other people trying to get their ex back.
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  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
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  And finally remember that love inspires and empowers uplifts
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  and and lightens