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085: The Health Advice I Had to Stop Following to Feel Better · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Limitless Living Podcast.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Frederica Davis, you're our host, and today is Wellness Reset Thursday here on the Limitless Living Podcast.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to start out asking you something.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever been in that moment where you thought, geez, I just really want to feel better.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I just really want to start taking care of myself.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you create this big exhausting plan.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it starts to feel like it's just one more exhausting thing on your list, or even like you have a second job.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Then you start to feel tired and you're still trying to feel better.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So you make a new plan and you're going to get up earlier and you're going to exercise, but you're in pain.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe you decide, okay, I'm going to lose weight.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to clean up my diet.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to take the supplements.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to drink more water.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to get my stress under control somehow.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to start on Monday.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Does any of this sound familiar?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then Monday comes, you're already tired.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Life has not cleared your calendar so that you can do this whole new wellness plan.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And before long, you start feeling like you have failed yet again at taking care of yourself, at feeling better, at whatever.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I ask that because I know this cycle.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us by this age have done this at least once or twice.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I have lived this.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And staying on point for today's theme, the number one piece of health advice that I had to stop following was some version of the following: do more, eat less, push harder, change everything.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Simple as that.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's a philosophy that's out there in so many different directions.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's the do more exercise, do more, get up earlier, do this, do that, change your routine, eat less, push harder, change everything.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever version you may have experienced of that, chances are you have.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: I followed that advice in many different forms for many different years.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it absolutely got me some short-term results, but it didn't teach me how to care for my body based on the life I actually had.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I've taught nutrition for years.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: I taught fitness for many years.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: I've been in the wellness industry for literally four decades.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: That said, I want to tell you what this looked like for me, even with all of that knowledge, all that ability, because I was teaching, like most people teach, I was teaching and leading from a focused place, like so many great coaches and trainers and nutrition experts do, but it didn't care for me the way I needed it to care for me.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I noticed that it wasn't helping clients care for themselves in a broad enough way.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what this looked like for me.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I started to notice how I'd get one area in check, but then sometimes another area would drop off or suffer.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then I had to come back to that, and then I would lose another area.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I kept thinking, okay, what do I need to do differently here?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: What how can I help my clients differently and how can I help myself differently?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I really, really was taking inventory all the way around.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Not because I have necessarily mastered everything, because literally, I promise you, I can still have moments where I push too hard and then I have to regroup, but I recognize them much quicker now, and they happen much less often.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I know how to come back much quicker.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: We are not short on advice anywhere in this world today, in any direction.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: My God, you know, you can ask Google, you can ask AI, you can ask a friend, everybody's gonna have an opinion.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think most of us are walking around feeling unwell or drained or just not like ourselves, because no one ever told us that we should drink more water, move our bodies more, eat vegetables, and get enough protein and sleep, right?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us know these things.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: But we have advice coming at us from every direction.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: A doctor tells you one thing, a friend swears by something else.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: There's a woman on social media who's saying her morning routine has changed her life.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then another person says, the first woman has it all wrong.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then another one's telling you, you've got to see this advertisement for this supplement.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be your answer to your prayers, and it's gonna address every symptom under the sun, right?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's what it feels like.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're hearing all of these things from all these different directions.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And even when each person is genuinely trying to help you, you're still probably feeling like, uh, what am I supposed to do first?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And how do I know what applies to me?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Where do I even begin?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, for those of us who grew up with the philosophy of no pain, no gain, and all the marketing that was around that, there is another layer to this.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Push harder and exercise, work harder and you'll get ahead.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Stay later, give more.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: If the result isn't coming, increase the effort.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's what you need.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Keep going.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now, that way of thinking, it absolutely can serve you at certain times.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Effort really does matter.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And there are moments to push harder.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Commitment matters.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: I have built businesses, raised a family, cared for people.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: I've made it through many difficult seasons, and I know what it means to show up and actually do the work and stay until it's done.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: But I've also carried that philosophy straight into my health.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you have too.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you can relate to this.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: If I wasn't getting the result I wanted, I just automatically went into thinking that I needed a stricter plan or I needed more willpower.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: If I was tired, I figured out how to keep getting more energy out of my body so I could keep going instead of maybe listening to my body and giving it what it really needed.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I rarely asked whether the pace itself was actually part of the problem.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when weight loss was my biggest goal, I tried the things that a ton of women from my generation will recognize.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: You will probably recognize this.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Weight watchers, restrictive diets, hard workouts, running, aerobics, going to the gym day after day and pushing.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just kept pushing myself.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I even did Optifast, which was through Temple University, and it was really an extreme low-calorie diet.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it took some weight off.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: I did this before uh Oprah Winfrey had done it.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you recall when she lost all that big weight for the first time and rolled out a wagon onto the TV set that had fat sitting in it, equal to what she had lost to illustrate what she had lost.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And of course she gained it all back.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's historical.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And she struggled her whole life, no judgments or anything there.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: But it was an extreme diet.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I did it before she had done it, and I had the same reaction, but it was something so extreme I had to have blood work done every two weeks.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: I have done the ultra-low calorie things and the weight loss pills and the herbal stimulants.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, when I was young, I took the fenfen, that little blue pill, as I recall, because I wanted the result, but I didn't yet know that the risks were some heart-related risks.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, they took it off the market.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: I have done a lot to my body.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm telling you all of this because I don't want you to think I'm sitting here judging or wagging my finger at you if you really do want something to work quickly, because I get it.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I understand exactly why a quick fix is so appealing.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And especially in today's world with all the GLP 1s we have available to us and all of that, which I'm not saying there's not a place for them.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're unhappy with your weight, or you are in pain and hurting emotionally, mentally, or physically, or you're scared because you don't know where your health is headed, and you just want relief and you want to do something, you want to do it now.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: If somebody hands you a plan and says, follow us exactly, you'll get the result.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: That can feel like hope.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: And if somebody hands you a pill and says, this is your magic answer, that can really feel exciting.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: So some of those plans did change the number on the scale for me.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: So some of those plans did change the number on the scale for me for a while.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: You may have experienced this.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there are people who it sticks and it lasts for.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: There are many.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: There are fewer of those than those of us who didn't.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: So some of those made me feel very accomplished because I lost weight and I was working so hard and everything, and that was great.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I kept running into the same question.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: And this show is not really about weight loss.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: This is a piece of it, I think, for so many of us.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is really more about the extremes that we go to and the approaches that we take and the tolls that it takes on us and the shift that you might want to consider making.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because what happens after we do that extreme thing?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: So the question becomes that extreme approach, is that something that you can do when your life is stressful?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: And can you keep pushing your body at an intensity when really what it needs is rest?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I was doing.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was continually trying to eat in a way to get a certain result.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: In actuality, it was causing more stress to my body when I was already experiencing a very, very stressful time in my life.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: And those were not working well together.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: That was part of the problem.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're asking yourself things, you want to think, okay, could I keep pushing my body the way I'm pushing it now at the intensity?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: When what I really need is rest?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is that going to help me or hurt me?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I kept running into the same question.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: What happens after the extreme part?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: That extreme plan or approach?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: What will happen then?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Could I keep eating that way when my life was incredibly stressful?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Could I keep pushing my body at that intensity even though I desperately needed rest?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Had I learned anything about why I felt the way I did, what the cause of it was, or how I was choosing to override that.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that every time I pushed hard, it was harmful.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying one diet or one workout caused every health problem I ever had.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's absolutely not the case.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Life and health are a whole lot more complicated than that.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm saying is that the extremes, for me, they became my default response.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: So have they become the default response for you?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: If something isn't working, are you resorting to going and pushing harder instead of getting more curious?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is the part I had to change.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that approach has really made an enormous in my life.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: That getting more curious instead of pushing through.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't only around food and exercise, too.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I want to add here, I want you to think about how many places we as women keep pushing through.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: You likely push through at work, push through in your business, maybe at home.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: You push through on those Ds as a parent, as a caregiver.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you're parenting, building a business.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this was me.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was attempting to not only keep a business going, but to build it at the same time as I was a single mom to a daughter with 23rd food allergies and caretaking my mother in her 90s.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: There was a little stress there.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then also along came a relationship.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I was attempting to juggle all of these things at that one period of time.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's just one example.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: And in those situations, each of those areas was asking me and needing from me enormous amounts of my energy.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: So when you are already on empty, you're running on empty, and you're telling yourself things like, well, I'm going to diet on Monday.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to start this new eating plan on Monday.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to do this.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to do that.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to get more sleep when I get everything all caught up.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'll catch up on my sleep when this week is over.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or, you know what?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have time to take a walk, but I'm going to try and start doing that next week.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then another week begins.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then again, we go through this cycle.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: You handle one stressful event, and then boom, there's another one, boom, there's another one.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: And they kind of keep coming.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it's likely that you feel like you never get a chance to even get a pause, let alone come down from this cycle.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: So you're getting work done probably still.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're getting whatever it is that you need to be getting done, but maybe you're becoming a little bit more irritable or getting a little bit more brain fog, or you're just so exhausted waking up and never feeling like you had a good night's sleep.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you can't quiet your mind down.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: You just feel like you're on edge all the time.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: So does any of that sound familiar?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Even with all the things I do, even with what I have done for so many years, I can relate to that because I was starting to feel the same way.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it then, of course, if you're a natural doer like I am, you decide that the answer must be to get more disciplined with your wellness routine.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: So can you see the trap here?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Can you see this pattern and this trap in this way of thinking and approaching things?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now your health has become another area where you feel like you're expected to perform or like you need to perform.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying stress puts a permanent stockpile of cortisol in your body.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Cortisol actually has a job to do in the body, and you can have too much and you can have too little.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: What I am saying, though, is that sustained stress, it really can affect us physically, mentally, emotionally, in so many different ways.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Many of us have not had much room at all to recover from each of our demands.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like I know when I was a single mom with my mom in her 90s and my daughter and the food allergies and a business that was struggling, and I was going through that whole period of time, there was no room to recover.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: None whatsoever.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I was not recognizing how much of an effect each piece was taking on me.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: If I was really listening and being curious to my own body, I would have chosen some micro ways at least to minimize the constant push.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: So when I could no longer ignore what I was feeling, there was just this point that I had to look honestly at what was happening in my body.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: I've talked about this on the show before, and I've got so many clients dealing with this, not the same exact way that I am, but in very similar ways, with or without autoimmune disease.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: I had pain.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, a lot of pain, walking around a cane, limping, a lot of pain in all my joints, massive inflammation.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: I had fatigue, headaches.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: There were things I had been managing and dismissing and pushing through and working around, little signals in my body that I just kept going, and it was almost like a badge of honor.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: That was going on for a long time.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Then I went through COVID and dealt with the effects afterwards.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: That experience made it much harder for me to keep pretending.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: I could simply push through everything.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: It was like it flipped a switch in my body and took the things that were already there and brewing and breaking down slowly but surely and ramped them up by a thousand.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's how it felt.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: So did COVID cause everything?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Not necessarily.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: It just amplified everything.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: It was already there.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to really stop and take an honest look at things.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, the stress going through COVID and trying to keep a business alive and all these different things, that just added insult to injury.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: So what I can tell you, after coming to the other side of that, of course, I mean, I've been in business for over 40 years and successful at it.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: But it doesn't mean there's not stressful things such as a pandemic to shut you down.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it just felt like the stress would never stop.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: As a result of that, I was getting more and more and more symptoms.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I was literally forced to pay attention to what was going on in my body, where previously I had found one way after another just to work around everything.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I started asking questions that I definitely should have been asking sooner.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, do you find yourself with symptoms, whether it's fatigue or irritability or brain fog or lack of focus or whatever it is that you just kind of push through, work around, deny, and keep going?
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Does this sound like something you're going through?
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because boy, do I get it.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I started asking myself these questions like, hmm, how long have I felt this tired?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or what happens before the pain gets worse?
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: What was my activity level?
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: What did I eat?
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: How much sleep did I have?
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: How much stress was I under when the pain gets to be really bad?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: What am I doing on the days when I feel better?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: What's the difference?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: What's my self-talk like?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: What's my stress like?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: What's my sleep like?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: What's my diet like?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: What's my movement like?
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so on.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: How much water did I have?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: What might need medical attention?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: And what is it in my daily life that I am actually doing that I need to own that is contributing or maybe even potentially causing some of this?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: That was a very different conversation from what quick fix can I take or start so I can keep going at the same pace?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: I also had to change how I thought about health.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: When I was younger, I wanted somebody to hand me the answer a pill, a diet, a program, something that would just fix the problem and fix it really fast.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I do understand this appeal.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to be fair here.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Medication is sometimes exactly the help someone needs.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: It really can treat illness or relieve issues and suffering and give a person room to function.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: I use medical care.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a big fan of medical testing because I'm a big fan of data to make your decisions.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not asking anybody to stop a prescribed treatment or feel ashamed for needing one or choosing one.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: My concern is when we're handed only a prescription or a product or the next best plan.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: And nobody is asking us about our lifestyle, nobody is helping us customize that.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody is really asking us what else might support us in this endeavor, such as are you eating enough to nourish yourself?
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Are you sleeping enough?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Are you moving in a way your body can actually tolerate?
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: What is your stress load like?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: What is it like?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: What's your nervous system doing?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Do you understand your exact condition?
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Are you Informed?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a plan that you can continue once the first burst of motivation starts to wear off?
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: And you know it always does.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: So the same thing goes for the wellness world.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: I have seen so many people that sell an idea that one supplement, one cleanse, or a very strict protocol will fix your life.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, something that's natural or a natural label does not automatically make a promise true.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't automatically mean it's safe.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: You need more information, especially when you combine it with medications.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Even though I always go to natural, holistic, functional first.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: The lesson for me, though, wasn't never take the medicine.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not the lesson I'm trying to give you, or never use the supplement because I do, I take plenty of supplements.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: It was really don't hand over your entire responsibility for your health to a pill or a product or a plan without understanding you, yourself, your life, and what you individually need and how it will fit into your life.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I do instead.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I also teach.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: Start where you are.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I start with wherever I am, and I do this daily, could be a couple times a day.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: The biggest shift was to stop making a plan that was for this imaginary version of me that I wanted to be.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what I mean when I say the imaginary woman.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: She wakes up energized at 5 a.m.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: in the morning and has plenty of time to prep every meal.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing crazy or unexpected ever happens in their family or business.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's easy to follow a strict schedule and changing everything comes naturally and everything clicks into place and her body doesn't object.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: And right?
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's the perfect version of me.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Or at least my imaginary version.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever wished you were that person where you've actually embarked on a new regiment and a new program because you're thinking you can do all those things when really you're not that person and that's not your life?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I've made a lot of plans that for that imaginary person.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: She never showed up to do them, I will tell you.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Never once.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: I am never going to be part of the 5 a.m.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: club, and I am perfectly happy saying that.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to tell you that now.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: Even when I was in the Navy and I had to get up early for drill weekends, oh my gosh, it was absolute torture.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: I am not going to be a 5 a.m.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: club.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Can I be a 7 a.m., an 8 a.m.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: and 9 a.m.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: club?
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I can.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's who I am.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm okay with that.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: What does my life look like?
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped making plans that were for this imaginary version of me.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: And instead, I start taking inventory.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I?
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: What's my daily schedule like?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: What's my stress load like?
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: What are my demands?
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: What is my capacity like?
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm dealing with fatigue, I don't automatically push through and add a harder workout.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: I ask what my sleep has been like, how much I've been doing, whether I'm eating enough and getting enough nutrition, and whether or not I need something checked, medically speaking.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm having more pain, I look at what has changed.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Did I overdo an activity?
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Have I been under more stress?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Am I moving too little or too much?
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: And am I hydrated?
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: What did I eat that was maybe inflammatory?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking about all of these things.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: I become a little like detective.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm feeling foggy or off, I'm gonna ask, okay, when did it start?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Am I hydrated?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Did I eat enough?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: Is it occasional?
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: Is it getting worse?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: What else is happening?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: Am I maxed out?
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need to rest and just be able to refocus because I've given myself some time to refuel?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: But paying attention gives you better information.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Better information to take the conversation into the doctor's office, if that's what you choose, better information to get help from a coach, if that's what you choose, or to simply make a few self-guided corrections to help you feel better.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes the most useful question is simply where am I at today?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: Not where I think I ought to be, not where I was five years ago.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: We often do that.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, we do that so often.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're like, well, I used to fit in these jeans.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I used to be able to run this many miles, I used to be able to do this.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I wish I could do this like I used to.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of just saying, okay, this is where I'm at.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: What if I did 10% more or I ate 10% less, or I gave myself 10% more rest or 5%?
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I at today?
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: What does my body need?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then what if I gave it just 5% of that that I have not been giving it?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because it can be as simple as that to make a difference.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I believe in small, simple, sustainable shifts.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: Even though I like the big bang things and I want to see the results faster, I have come to learn with my clients and with myself that for most of us, the small, simple, sustainable shifts is really the key.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: Once I stopped trying to fix everything in a week, I could make changes gradually, one at a time, that I actually kept things that actually stuck and I still do today and I still reap the benefits from.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: One of my early changes, and this is something I teach in my programs, it's so simple, was to have a cup of warm water with a half a squeezed lemon in the morning before coffee or breakfast.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there's other ways you can add ginger into it, you can add a little mint into it, it's other ways, but basically it's a half a squeezed lemon, is your base.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now, why?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because it helps to stimulate the production of bile and it helps with digestion, it helps with detoxification, it gives you a dose of vitamin C.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a little nutrition in it, but it is an act of turning your body on.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: It signals to your body, so so health-wise, it signals to your body to begin working a little bit more efficiently.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's giving it what it genuinely needs before you're putting the next thing in.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: And by adding this in, it also helped me begin the day with hydration and created a pause before I launch into everything I need to do for the day.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's a small, simple, sustainable shift, an act of self-care, putting myself first in the morning.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it's easy enough to repeat.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I started with this, and while all the health benefits that it gave me were enough reason to do it, the pause itself, and I actually like to step outside when it's not too cold out.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: I step outside, put my bare feet in the grass, and I sip this, and I take maybe five minutes, 10 minutes, maybe sit in the Adirondack chair, my feet in the grass.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: And now I'm grounding, I'm absorbing energy, I'm getting some vitamin D, a little bit of sun on me in the morning.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's giving me what I need.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's healthy for me.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm pausing, I'm intentionally setting my mindset and framing how I want the day to go, which sets up the day better.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't mean it's always going to go perfect, but it helps set up your day.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: That one simple cup of warm water with a half a lemon can do all of that.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's so simple.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then once I kind of mastered that, and I have watched so many of my clients implement these types of simple shifts, and it's really remarkable the changes.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: Once that stuck, I then went back and revisited what I was doing for breakfast.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of treating breakfast as an afterthought or something that I just grab and go, even when I was eating healthy, I mean, I've been teaching nutrition a long time and I've eaten healthy most of the time for a long time.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: But I had to really stop and take another look at what I was doing because what I thought was healthy or what was healthy for me in my 20s, my 30s, even my 40s was no longer working for my body because of what was going on in my body.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I started making sure I had a bigger dose and a meaningful source of protein in the morning.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: And depending on the day, that might be eggs, it might be an omelet, it might be a hard-boiled egg literally stuffed into my mouth as I am on the go going out the door and protein in my coffee.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that works for me.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: That works for me.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need every breakfast to look the same necessarily.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: I needed to choose a few options that were doable, repeatable, simple, quick, no excuses.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: And by changing that little shift, I increased my energy, I decreased the brain fog, and so on.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: So you get the picture here.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: These are little tiny, small, sustainable shifts.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really the big change there.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: Practicing them long enough to know whether or not each one fits your life and knowing where to adjust them and when.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is something that can be done in so many different ways, so many different areas, and it is a big part of the approach in my whole woman reset programs.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: The approach might not give you dramatic first week results.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something that's extreme, but it is a way to build a life with habits that become ingrained and not painful to sustain that you can actually keep doing and maintain longer than whatever the program is you're doing.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: So let me be honest here, too.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: I still sometimes will push myself too hard.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: I will have a busy stretch, take on something, or come up with a great new idea and just get obsessed with it and keep going.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I will feel it and I recognize it quicker and I know how to reset from it quicker.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't do it as often.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: So for me and what I see in my clients is that I'm less likely, they're less likely to turn hard moments, hard stretches into these endless ongoing months of ignoring your body.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I notice sooner, I step back, I recover, then I decide what I need to change and I continue forward.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: Period.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: Even if I have a day where I go completely off the rails, which is not often anymore, because there's none of these extremes.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to bring up GLP1 medications because I think they should be part of today's conversation about health and weight.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: These medications can be incredibly helpful for some people.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: I am not going to dismiss them because they are pharmaceuticals.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: But that said, if you can do it without them, absolutely better.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you are somebody who's taking those, I am concerned because I'm seeing this repeatedly with my clients, that doctors give you the prescription, tell you to go home, move more, and eat less.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: The typical conversation.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: You get your blood work every six months or so, you keep getting the prescriptions.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: They, instead of microdosing you and dosing you slow, it's all dosed on um the pharmaceutical standards.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: So you're kind of moved up in your dosages a little higher, a little higher, a little higher.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: Not always even necessary from what I have seen.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm not a doctor.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: This is not replacing medical advice, of course.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: But these medications, again, they can be very helpful for a lot of people.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's also a lot of promising information uh coming out about microdosing them or using them for even a whole bunch of other inflammatory response things.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been watching this very carefully.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: But what I'm seeing is that people are on the GLP1s, they're losing uh skin elasticity, they're losing muscle mass, they are nutritionally deficient and winding up with some other problems because they're not hungry and they're not eating enough, and they're maybe getting some of the side effects, and they're not changing their habits.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: I have watched this with friends, I've watched this repeatedly.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: They're losing weight, but they're getting fat skinny or skinny fat, however you want to put it, because they're losing muscle mass at crazy rapid speed.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's insane what I've watched.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: Regardless of how you lose weight, you can lose lean muscle mass and whether medication or not is involved.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that happens anytime your appetite changes dramatically.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: But your body needs a certain amount of nutrition.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't have to be like large quantities of food or anything, but it sees a certain amount of nutrition.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: It also needs to maintain its muscle mass, and it becomes more important for those of us 40s and up, and your hormones are changing, and it becomes extra important.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, one of the biggest indicators as to whether or not we will remain independent and be physically strong and capable of taking care of ourselves, is our strength in our quads, that's your thigh muscle, and in our legs and our hip flexors and our glutes.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: So think your thighs and your butt.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you are losing muscle mass, like I have been seeing, and you're getting weaker and weaker, you're putting yourself at risk for other conditions, osteopenia, osteoporosis, uh, weakness.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: Think about how you want to get up and down off the floor or out of a chair as you age.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_00: So this becomes really important.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm seeing is that again, it's the same principles I've been talking about.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_00: The GLP ones are a tool, and a tool can help, but a tool should not be your whole plan.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not just true of medication, it's also true of supplements.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's also true of a gym membership, and it's true of any meal plan.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: I want to always ask what support will help me use this well and take care of the rest of me.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you asking questions of yourself, like, okay, what support do I need that is going to help me take care of the rest of me as well so that I am healthy all the way around, not just this one thing.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: So what if you're listening and you have no idea where to start?
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's all this information out there.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you're thinking, okay, Freddie, this sounds really good and really interesting, and I understand, but I've got pain.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sleeping, I'm tired, and I have so much going on.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_00: How in the world am I going to change?
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: And what do I do first?
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: Which thing do I change?
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: I would tell you start by noticing, not by changing and overhauling.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: Just noticing.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: For the next few days, ask yourself three simple questions.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: First, what am I experiencing?
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: I suggest you put this in a little notebook or something, carry it around with you or in your phone or whatever.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: What am I experiencing?
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: Name what's actually going on.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just say I'm tired.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know the circumstances.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: Are you tired by the mid-afternoon?
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: Are you tired in the morning?
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: Are you tired after you do such and such?
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just say I hurt everywhere or I have pain.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know when is your pain worse?
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_00: My pain, such as my pain is worse after a busy day, or my pain is worse if I don't get enough sleep, or my pain is worse if I don't drink enough water.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm looking for here.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to think about what you experience.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, are you waking up during the middle of the night?
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: Be really specific.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is where you're looking to see patterns.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: No judgments, none of that, just patterns and starting to realize how you feel and what some of the triggers might be.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: Second, what have I been pushing through?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: Are you pushing through physical activity?
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_00: Are you pushing through a crazy work schedule followed by caring for somebody at home, whether it's your kids, your parents, maybe you are skipping meals or running on caffeine or telling yourself, okay, I'll rest in the weekend, I'll catch up then.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, what is it that you are pushing through?
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: What is it that might have been asking you for attention for a while now?
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, third, what is one supportive change I can repeat this week?
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: Not 10, just one.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's going to be having the lemon water in the morning.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's going to be making sure that your breakfast is a protein or a protein and veggie breakfast.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's going to be taking a short break before you are completely spent and scheduling an hour to go read a book or sit in the park or take a walk that's leisurely, not purposeful, or get a massage, whatever it is.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's going to be setting a different bedtime just a little bit earlier and committing to doing that at least a few nights in the week.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: Or making an appointment, if that's what you need, to discuss what's really going on.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you do need some testing and to discuss it.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: The first right step for you is going to depend on what you're experiencing.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I don't want to hand every one of you an exact same routine.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I don't have a cookie-cutter routine when we go through these resets.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: That is why I approach this the way that I do, because each of you are different.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you can be different now than you were a year ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, and different than you will be next year, based on what's going on in your life and in your body.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, I will say if whatever you're noticing is new or it's persistent or it's getting worse, definitely go talk to somebody, go talk to your doctor, get some tests, figure out what it is.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because listening to your body does include getting the care you need.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I still believe in pushing.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: I still believe in effort and I will have moments where I will push.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: I still believe we have a role in our health, a very important role in our health.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody knows what's going on in your body like you do.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_00: I still believe we have the power.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: You have the power to positively influence your health no matter what is going on, yourself with some positive changes, and that you still have the power to change your life, even at 40, 50, 60, 70, and beyond.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_00: My mom lived to be about a month shy in 99.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: And she was still doing, still creating, still thinking about what was next.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: We have that ability.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_00: But my advice to myself sounds a little different now.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of me thinking, okay, I got this, I'm superwoman, I'm just gonna push through.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: I got this, and then thinking about it like it's a badge of honor, I asked myself the question, what is this costing me?
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of I'll change everything on Monday or I'll get back on track Monday or whatever, I think, okay, what can I change right now and keep going?
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I did that, but I don't want to keep doing that the whole rest of the day or the whole rest of the week.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need to change to stop that and move towards this so I can keep going?
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of ignore it until it becomes unbearable, push through.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: Boy, I will tell you that was me.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: It was absolutely me.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_00: I ask myself, what have I been noticing?
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: What's my body trying to tell me?
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I listen for the whispers.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: If I don't get to hear them when they're a whisper, then they start tapping, they tap on my shoulder, and they get a little louder in my body.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_00: And if I miss it when it was a whisper, at that point, I'm probably hearing it.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't let it get to a loud scream, knock me over my head with a big club, like I was.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm giving you guys some funny visuals, probably.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of looking for the fastest result, I now ask, will this help me live better six months from now?
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: How will I feel six months from now?
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: I will tell you, I really do wish I had asked these questions sooner and approach things a little differently.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I ask them now, and I've seen enormous results in myself as well as my clients.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I had asked those questions sooner, but I can ask them now, and so can you.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: So this week's reset is I want you to take five quiet minutes, write down one thing your body has been telling you, then choose one supportive action that you can repeat twice this week.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it might be a habit change, it could be a conversation you want to have with somebody or an appointment you need to make or whatever it is, but keep it small enough to do in the life that you actually have.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_00: And the question I'm gonna leave you with this week is where am I still following the advice to push harder when what I really need is to pay closer attention?
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready to look at nutrition or movement, rest, stress, all of that, and maybe the rest of your life together, then that is the kind of whole person work that we explore in the whole woman reset.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can join the wait list for the next experience if you missed the current one that's going on.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're local, you can find details about my October in-person reset workshop.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: That will be at fredericadavis.com.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'll put the links in the show notes.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't have to wait until your body is shouting to begin listening.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to change your whole life immediately, this week or this month.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: Just start where you are, make one shift that you can live with and then keep going.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for spending your time with me today.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, be rooted, be resilient, and be limitless.