Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Rebuild Trust After a Mistake
Transcript
- Lucas: Let's talk about something that keeps new managers up at night, and that's what happens when you genuinely mess up. Not a small typo in an email, but a real public mistake that makes your team question whether they can trust you. Luna: Yeah, that's a hard one. And it's different from the usual 'how to give feedback' advice because here you're the one who needs to receive the fallout. Lucas: Exactly. So I want to anchor this in a specific case. A friend of mine, first-time manager at a B2B software company, about 150 employees. During a quarterly all-hands, he announced a revised revenue target for the team based on what he thought was a directive from his VP. Turns out he'd misread the memo. The number was wrong, and by the time the VP corrected it publicly two days later, the team had already started making plans around the faulty target. Luna: Oof. That's the kind of thing that erodes trust fast, especially for a new manager who's still building their reputation. Lucas: Right. So what did he do? He called a team meeting, stood up, and said 'I made a mistake. I shared incorrect numbers. That's on me, and I'm sorry.' But then he stopped. He didn't explain how it happened, he didn't outline what he'd do differently. And the team just sat there in silence. Later, he told me that apology felt hollow even to him. Luna: I think a lot of new managers make that same move — they apologize quickly and then move on, thinking that's enough. But the team is left wondering 'Can I trust his numbers going forward?' Lucas: Right. So there's research from CEB, now part of Gartner, that looked at trust recovery after a public mistake. They found that it takes, on average, seven to nine positive interactions — separate from the apology — before team confidence returns to baseline. That's a lot of deliberate effort. Luna: Seven to nine interactions. That's weeks of one-on-ones, emails, meetings. So the apology is just step one. Lucas: Exactly. So let's walk through what a more complete repair looks like. Step one: own the error fully, with specifics. Not 'I made a mistake,' but 'I misread the quarterly forecast memo from the VP and I shared an incorrect target. Here's what the correct number is and why I got it wrong.' That specificity shows you understand the root cause. Luna: And it signals to the team that you've already done the work to figure out what happened, so they don't have to fill in the gaps with suspicion. Lucas: Right. Step two: communicate the correction transparently, including the new safeguards. My friend eventually did this after a mentor coached him. He sent a follow-up email that laid out the accurate target, the timeline for correcting any downstream plans, and two specific changes he was implementing: a second set of eyes on any data he presents publicly, and a 24-hour review period before he shares numbers in a meeting. Luna: That's concrete. It tells the team 'I've put guardrails in place so this specific error won't happen again.' It's not just a promise to be more careful. Lucas: Exactly. And step three is the long game: consistent follow-through. This is where those seven to nine interactions come in. Over the next month, he made a point of being impeccable with data in every one-on-one, every status update. If he was even slightly unsure of a number, he'd say 'I want to verify that before I commit — I'll get back to you by end of day.' That small behavior rebuilt credibility incrementally. Luna: I had a manager once who made a similar mistake — miscommunicated a project deadline. And what really rebuilt trust for me was that she sent a detailed written recap of what went wrong and the new process she'd put in place. She didn't just say it in a meeting. She documented it. That made it feel more permanent. Lucas: That's a great point. Writing it down signals that you're not trying to sweep it under the rug. It becomes a record of accountability. And I think that's something new managers underestimate — how much documentation can reinforce trust. Luna: So the three steps we've covered: own it specifically, communicate the correction with safeguards, then demonstrate reliability over time. Anything else you'd add? Lucas: One more thing. Be prepared for the fact that some team members may need a private conversation to process their frustration. Not everyone will feel comfortable in a group setting. So after the all-hands apology, my friend scheduled individual one-on-ones with each direct report and invited questions. A couple of people expressed that they'd felt embarrassed in front of other departments. He just listened and validated that feeling. Luna: That's a move that a lot of new managers skip because it's uncomfortable. But it's those private moments that often do the most to rebuild a fractured relationship. Lucas: Yeah. And it's worth noting that trust repair isn't linear. You might have a great one-on-one and then a week later someone brings up the mistake again in a meeting. That doesn't mean you've failed. It means the seven-to-nine interactions clock resets a bit. Patience is part of it. Luna: And this whole process is actually a leadership opportunity in disguise. When you handle a mistake well, you model vulnerability and accountability for your team. That can strengthen your credibility in the long run. Lucas: I think that's the paradox. Trying to appear perfect as a new manager actually erodes trust faster than admitting a mistake and fixing it transparently. Teams respect leaders who are candid about their limits. Luna: And speaking of candid conversations about leadership, that's exactly what listeners tell us they appreciate most about this show. It's ad-free and supported entirely by people who find these discussions useful. Lucas: Yeah, we've heard from a lot of new managers who say these episodes helped them navigate a tough moment at work. If that's been the case for you, and you want to keep the show ad-free, you can support us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure, just a way to keep the conversation going. Luna: And every bit of support helps us keep the focus on practical, specific advice rather than chasing clicks. Lucas: Alright, back to the trust repair playbook. One more nuance I want to mention: the size of the audience matters. If you make a mistake in front of the whole company versus a small team, the repair process scales. For a company-wide error, you might need a broader communication and more time. Luna: And the hierarchy of who corrects you matters too. If the CEO corrects you in front of everyone, that's a different dynamic than if a peer gently points out the error. Lucas: Right. In my friend's case, it was his VP who corrected him. That actually helped because the VP backed him up in the follow-up email, saying 'I appreciate Lucas owning this and putting new processes in place.' That endorsement from above accelerated trust recovery. Luna: So as a new manager, if you make a mistake, looping in your own manager and getting their public support can be a powerful part of the repair. Lucas: Exactly. And one last thing: don't over-apologize. Apologize once, clearly, and then move into action. Repeated apologies start to look like insecurity, not accountability. Luna: That's a good rule of thumb. One clear apology, then focus on the fix. Lucas: So to recap: own it with specifics, communicate the safeguards, follow through consistently, and have private conversations where needed. That's the playbook. Luna: And it's a playbook you can use more than once. Because let's be honest, every manager makes mistakes. The question is whether you turn them into trust-building moments or trust-eroding ones. Lucas: Well said. That's a good note to end on. Thanks for listening, and we'll be back next time with another conversation for new managers.